The Bonding Stone

by Some1Else

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Discord, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rarity
Length: 66904

When Rarity fails to locate the fire ruby so she can give it back to Spike as a birthday present, a certain schemer prone to anarchy offers to help her make something a bit more special. So long as she’s willing to work for it.

Rarity’s schedule is booked. A commission for a wedding dress is nothing new, but finding the right gift for Spike’s upcoming birthday party leads her into three chaotic quests that take her across Equestria and into a locale beyond time and space. All the while, an unlikely ally is at her side ready to help with the gift and the dress. At her expense.

* This takes place shortly after the conclusion of the fifth season and the events that transpire during The Stink Bug. It is not necessary to read The Stink Bug before reading this story.

* Cover art was provided by my sister.

Published 2019-10-27 18:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2020-02-22 19:26:12 UTC

Chapter 1

Rarity gave her potential client the best smile she could manage. It wasn’t difficult. Clay Mud owned many of the diamond mines in Equestria. Running a business required good publicity, which she could never get enough of, and working with him would help her get more of it.

“I’d like to thank you for agreeing to see me on such short notice,” Mud said.

Mud wore a fitted suit with a lapel pin stuck to his chest crafted from the mineral that had given him his fortune. It replicated the upright shovel featured on his cutie mark. He carried a battered saddlebag with him that Rarity assumed had sentimental value, which made up for how it didn’t complement his suit.

Rarity wrinkled her muzzle at the amount of cologne Mud had used on himself. “But of course, darling. To what do I owe this honor?”

“I’m here on behalf of my granddaughter, Ocean Rain. She’s getting married in three months to Mazurka Waltz and wants you to make a wedding dress for her.”

Rarity gasped. “Mazurka Waltz is getting married?”

“You’re familiar with him?”

“Certainly. My closest friends and I happen to be connoisseurs of musical theater. Waltz did a fine job playing Tabby in last year’s production of Kittens. I take it this arrangement has not yet been made public?”

Mud shook his head. “They have done their best to keep the relationship private. A lot of hearts will break when Waltz commits himself to a life with Rain. I had hoped to count on your discretion.”

“While I can’t deny I’m inclined to gossip, I can assure you I never violate client confidentiality.”

“Good. Rain has always been a smart mare. I knew you would be the best pony for this job.”

A royal flush. Dice landing on seven. Betting on a frog named Skipper. The proverbial jackpot. Rain would stroll down the aisle wearing the custom gown Rarity had made for her. Jaws would drop. Tears would flow. They wouldn’t be able to contain themselves. Who had made this lovely dress? Just some mare by the name of Rarity. It wouldn’t take long for business to pick up. The first quarter of the new year was looking rather lucrative, not that she was hurting for money. Anymore, at any rate. It was just that plenty of it made paying the property tax for her store in Manehattan much less of a headache.

Mud opened the battered saddlebag he had with him. “Rain already filled out the questionnaire you ask your customers to finish if they’re looking for something a bit more personal.” He pulled a manila envelope from the pouch and placed it on the counter in front of him. “She almost didn’t fill it out since she wanted you to have total creative freedom to do the dress as you saw fit, but we convinced her that wouldn’t be reasonable. By the way, she’s sorry she couldn’t be here. Her job has been keeping her a little busy.”

The envelope had a noticeable bulge. Ocean Rain had to be a mare who knew what she wanted. If Rarity’s hunch was correct, half the work had already been done. Rain would undoubtedly still be a challenge, but only ten clients had ever walked away from Rarity in disappointment, so the odds weren’t against her.

Rarity nodded. “Careers can lack flexibility. What does she do for a living?”

“My granddaughter is a journalist for the National Chronicle.” Mud bristled a little with pride. “She’s currently involved with a lengthy piece of work regarding the rising problem of those who misuse magic. It has left her little time to plan the wedding.”

“I can’t say I’ve read much of the Chronicle, but I’d like to see that article when it’s finished. I do hope she is aware that the problems we’ve been having with rogues haven’t escalated past the point they reached before Celestia’s reign.”

“That’s true, but those who do cause trouble are getting more powerful.”

Rarity wasn’t impressed. “I’m confident justice shall be served to all those who break our laws.”

“I’m sure you are. Don’t worry, it’s not a scare piece. Anyway, there’s a stipulation attached to Rain’s request you should be aware of before deciding to accept this commission.”

“And what might that be?”

Mud looked uncertain. “She was hoping you would be able to have it finished in two weeks.”

Rarity gave Mud another genuine smile. “Is that all?”

Mud raised an eyebrow. “Your confidence is inspiring.”

Rarity waved a hoof to bat away the compliment. “Nonsense, I’m merely prepared for this sort of thing. While I prefer having at least a month to complete a project like this, I tend to do my best work under pressure. She is aware there is a possibility some minor adjustments might have to be made once the dress is finished, correct?”

Mud nodded. “I also included extra compensation on the check for asking you to finish this project in such a short amount of time.”

Rarity batted her eyelashes at Mud and gave him look number sixty-eight, which she reserved specifically for older earth stallions. “That is much appreciated.”

A blush crossed Clay’s face. “It’s nothing. Everyone involved with the wedding knew you had to be the one to make the dress. Do you think it might be possible for Rain to stop by before the end of the week just to see what you’ve come up with?”

Rarity put a hoof to her chin. “Let’s see. I will be able to have enough concepts for her to review in five days.”

She should have said six to err on the side of caution, but it was too late.

“That’s perfect. It falls on the same day she’s scheduled to go on the Ponyville tour.”

“Our tour is among the best in Equestria. She’ll have a great time. You should consider taking it while you’re in town.”

Mud glanced outside. “As a matter of fact, I’ll be heading over to the visitor’s center right after this. I’ve even decided to spend the night. Any recommendations on where to go or what to do?”

She could think of a few, but mentioning them wouldn’t be fair. “I know all of the business owners in our community. I couldn’t possibly suggest one over the other. You’ll have a pleasant experience wherever you go.”

Mud smiled. “You’re very humble for someone so famous.”

“An ego can compromise one’s creativity. I’m not immune to it, though. I’ve just gotten good at suppressing it.”

Mud nodded and began heading towards the front door. “It was nice meeting you, Rarity. I’m certain you will do great work.”

“Thank you. Enjoy your time in Ponyville, Mr. Mud.”

Once Mud had left, Rarity carried the folder in her aura and retreated upstairs to her work room to see what she was up against. She only needed a quick peek. Without one, she wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about it. Leaving the counter typically summoned guests. An enchantment on the bell above her front door carried an echo of the ring it produced into every room but her bedroom during business hours.

The last thing Rarity expected to encounter after opening the door to her work room was a spray of blue confetti. It forced her back into the hallway as a kazoo sounded off at full volume. Rarity managed to keep herself from inhaling or ingesting any of the shredded paper. A group of yellow balloons traveled through the open door and bobbed along the ceiling. The shock brought on from the whole ordeal hadn’t caused her to lose her hold on the folder.

Only one pony could be responsible for this. Sure enough, when everything had cleared, she spotted Pinkie Pie standing upright on her drafting table.

“Surprise!” Pinkie Pie said. “It’s eight forty-five in the morning and this is your regularly scheduled live upcoming birthday reminder! In exactly one week, Spike will be one whole year older! Isn’t that amazing?”

Rarity walked through the confetti and used her aura to retrieve a mane brush she had stashed inside the bottom drawer of her sewing cabinet. A single stroke came back positive with a few specks of confetti. She looked at it. She looked at Pinkie Pie. “Yes, quite. You mentioned this sort of reminder is live. Might I instead opt for the one where you send me a letter through the mail?”

Pinkie produced a notepad from nowhere, already open to a marked page. “Are you sure? You might miss it if it’s bundled together with your bills.”

Rarity grabbed a mirror from the same drawer she had retrieved her brush and checked her mane for anything she had missed while brushing by feel. “Do you mean to say your colorful letters aren’t indistinguishable from monotonous notices and unwanted catalogues?”

Pinkie did a front flip off the drafting table and landed a step away from Rarity with the grace of an award-winning athlete. “But don’t you think it’s much more fun to get them directly from me?”

“I’d still like to receive these notifications by mail.” Rarity set the folder down on her drafting table and returned her mirror and brush to the drawer they lived in.

A tendril from Pinkie’s mane appeared with a pencil curled around it that scratched a line from the notepad. “Done!” The tendril used the eraser on the pencil to flip ahead to another page in the notebook. “Are you gonna be at Spike’s birthday party?”

“Of course, I wouldn’t miss it for the world. Will he be able to contain himself until the afternoon? I might be busy that morning.”

Pinkie used her tendril to check an item on the notepad. “Ayuh, Twilight is way ahead of you on that one! Something about delaying gratification, whatever that means. Do you have any idea what you might get him?”

As a party planner, Pinkie had the right to know who was buying what in order to avoid awkward instances of the recipient receiving multiple bottles of the same type of cologne. Rarity hadn’t yet announced what present she intended to purchase, but she could still get him what he really wanted since Spike wasn’t hard to shop for. He usually made it clear what he was hoping to receive for his birthday or Hearth’s Warming Eve.

A book was the current item at the top of his wish list. While Twilight usually managed that department, Rarity could have been the first pony Pinkie asked. Rarity wouldn’t be stomping on her hoofs if she took the opportunity to buy the book Spike couldn’t wait to read since there was no end to Twilight’s recommendations, which were highly reliable.

None of the bookstores could keep enough copies to meet the demand for it. Spike couldn’t even get it through other libraries in the area since all copies were out with at least ten other patrons waiting in line for a chance to read it for free. Another run was on the way. The timing could not have been better.

“I think I might get him---” Rarity began.

Pinkie sat on her haunches and waved both of her hoofs in the air. “Don’t say Puppeteers IV: No Strings Attached!”

Rarity arched an eyebrow at her. “How did you know I was going to say that?”

“Everyone knows how much he wants that book. He’s even thinking of dressing up as Adder for Nightmare Night.”

“Really? He hasn’t mentioned that to me. I could do his costume for him.”

Pinkie blinked. “Oh? You read Puppeteers?”

Rarity chuckled. “Just the first one and only because he really wanted me to.”

A fantastic idea drew a gasp from Pinkie. “You two could go out as a pair! You could dress up as a golem Adder has to fight!”

“Well, that’s one idea. I take it Twilight is getting him the book, then?”

“Yup! Puppeteers IV and Gateways to Parallel Universes in My Backyard? It’s More Likely Than You Think.”

Two books. One fiction and the other non-fiction. The classic Twilight gifts.

“Any other ideas?” Pinkie asked.

“Not off the top of my head,” Rarity replied.

“I have at least fifty-eight suggestions that are guaranteed to brighten his day.”

“No, thank you, Pinkie. I’d like to think of it myself. I’ll be sure to check with you when I do. Right now, I’ve got a very important dress that. . .”

The idea came out of nowhere and hit her with the force of an epiphany.

The simplicity. Stunning. The ease. Obvious.

She truly was a genius.

“Never mind. I believe I know just what to get Spike.”

“I can’t take the suspense!” Pinkie did a backflip. “Enough fluff. Cut to the chase, sister. What is it?”

Rarity dodged the confetti Pinkie had kicked up with the force of her landing and drew in a bit closer to share the secret. “Do you remember the day he gave me his fire ruby?”

“You mean that one time where Spike turned into a super huge dragon, grabbed you, and ran off to the mountains? And then the Wonderbolts tried to save you and totally beefed it, but it was okay because Spike realized what a jerk he was being thanks to some of the stuff you said that made him shrink to his normal size?”

There was hardly anything friendly in the smile Rarity produced. “Yes, Pinkie. Precisely. How oddly specific.”

“It’s not exactly hard to forget.”

Unfortunately. “I only used the fire ruby once for the dress Spike destroyed, but I kept it in case I wanted to wear it again sometime. Since I haven’t, I’ll give it back to him.”

In fact, she had nearly forgotten she still had it, but she wasn’t going to tell Pinkie that.

Pinkie’s tendril used the pencil it still had to scribble something on her notepad. After finishing, it wrapped around her notepad. The tendril pulled both items out of sight into her curly mane. “What a great idea. I can say with full confidence that he will love receiving that ruby as a gift. It’s probably really tasty by now.”

“I’ll stop by Sugarcube Corner later this afternoon with the ruby so we can have it wrapped and ready for next week.”

“Sounds great! I’ll be waiting.”

Rarity watched as everything Pinkie Pie had done since coming into the room rewound itself. It defied explanation. Pinkie’s body became blurry and distorted as she reached the part where she had been waiting on the drafting table. Rarity blinked and rubbed her eyes. When she opened her eyes again, Pinkie Pie had vanished along with all her effects. She had to be a unicorn. Invisible ink hid her horn.

Since the party was over, Rarity sat at her drafting table and opened the folder Mud had given her. A stack of documents awaited her perusal. The thorough questionnaire she had made for commissions was on top. A check carrying her fee was attached to it with a pink paper clip. Rarity skimmed through the paperwork. All the questions were answered. Rarity required measurements be taken by a professional tailor if she wasn’t doing them so the numbers wouldn’t be off by a few digits. The numbers were written in a different style than the rest of the document and the tailor’s business card was stapled to the page containing the numbers and his signature. Rain had no known allergies or aversions to an illustrated list of fabrics and materials at the end of the dossier.

Rarity moved on. Rain had torn five pages out of a bridal magazine. Certain features were circled in red ink with sticky notes filled to their capacity accompanying the highlights. Three professionally taken photographs of Rain looking quite perky underneath lighting that complemented her form were included as further references. An additional photograph was at the bottom of the stack. Mazurka Waltz was giving Rarity a smile and a wink. He’d autographed the photo and included a personalized message, urging her to dazzle him.

Everything was in order. There were no red flags. Before Rarity really got into designing the wedding dress, she decided to take care of the fire ruby. She closed the curtains and fetched the key to the room from a drawer packed with pincushions. Rarity left the room and locked the door, activating an enchantment set in place to keep the room safe from intrusion. Any attempt to get in by anyone other than her would inflict a great deal of confusion on the prowler.

Rarity entered her bedroom. The door to her walk-in closet was ajar. She clicked her tongue while pushing it open. Opalescence was inside, satisfying her feline curiosity by batting at the hem of a dress she had worn last year to Sweetie Belle’s school play.

“Opal!” Rarity waved her hoof around. “Stop that immediately! Shoo!”

The noise Opal produced made it seem like she had been trained to go for the throat.

“Honestly, why must you always get into my things?”

Opal dodged Rarity’s hoof and darted out of the closet. Having to discipline her was never pleasant. The dress wasn’t damaged. No claws had been used. It was a lot to be thankful for. Rarity could still wear it. Technically. If she had a reason to.

At the back of the closet was an armoire specifically dedicated to her jewelry. She kept it open for easier access. The fire ruby had been right next to her ten-carat diamond necklace. Her heart began beating against her chest the way it did during the middle of an intense workout. There was her favorite diamond necklace. And right next to it was where the fire ruby was supposed to be. Last she checked. Probably. Some of her dresses rustled against each other due to the speed she reached while shooting out of her closet.

This was no time to panic. There were still other places it could be. She came to a stop just outside the entrance to her bedroom and faced the wall that marked the end of the hallway. Rarity sent her aura forward through the wall and manipulated the switch on the other side. A muffled click filtered through the false wall. Rarity put a hoof on the wall and pushed in the revolving door. Hidden from plain sight and potential ruffians looking to make a name for themselves by selling something in the possession of an Element of Harmony on the black market was a room just big enough to accommodate a large safe.

The ticking noise of the dial was almost soothing as she entered the combination. Another click. Rarity swung the door open too fast. She put a hoof out to stop the door from leaving a dent in the wall and winced as it smashed against her foreleg. The wall remained undamaged. Gold ingots, silver ingots, bonds, deeds, and a few mementos were before her. No fire ruby, though. Groaning in exasperation, Rarity closed the safe, stepped out of the hidden room, and locked it behind her.

There were times when she had forgotten where she had put something. She liked to think of herself as above such carelessness, but that didn’t prevent it from happening once in a great while. A distinct memory played through her head. She was a foal again, tearing through her parents house in search of a chunk of strawberry quartz the size of a cantaloupe that she had unearthed in the outer reaches of the elementary school playground near a grove of trees. A cleric who happened to be a part-time mystic had received permission to approach her during recess and ask for it, having heard about her find from a merchant in the market who was the father of one of her classmates. Rarity could still hear her parents laughing at her. Had she looked in the last place it’d be?

Rarity cast her gem-finding spell in the bathroom. Nothing. Her jaw popped under the strain of her clenched teeth. She loved her parents, but it hadn’t been good advice then and it wasn’t doing her any good now. The rest of the memory came back to her while she looked in the bathroom mirror to make sure her agitation wasn’t spoiling her beauty. Rarity hadn’t found the strawberry quartz until she moved out. It had been in the back of her closet. Where she had looked. Twice.

Sweetie Belle. She hadn’t been in the habit of taking items from Rarity without asking. There was a chance she might have asked Rarity if she could borrow it while Rarity was busy and she hadn’t gotten around to returning it yet. If that wasn’t the case, Rarity would need to begin accepting the possibility that she had been robbed, which was preposterous. The worst crime Ponyville had dealt with in the past year had involved a merchant selling fake goods. Everything else was loudmouths and colts being colts.

She rushed out her front door and took five steps in a gallop when she realized she had forgotten to put up her away sign. This was beginning to be more than she could take. Why did the universe insist on tormenting her? To balance out the luck and good looks she had been blessed with. But still, why? She had too much good karma for this sort of thing to occur. Whimpering, Rarity went back inside and stuck her away sign on the door. She wrestled with the clock dial. Ten minutes. No, fifteen. Thirty. Just to be safe.

It occurred to her that there was a high possibility she would bump into Mud while he was on the critically acclaimed tour of the town. Rarity’s childhood home happened to be on the list of stops. Her parents used to entertain tourists with only the most embarrassing stories about her until she had begged them to stop. Now they simply smiled and waved from the safety of their living room. If Mud saw her, he might think it was rather peculiar of her to be taking a walk after she had just been given such a large job to do.

“Oh, yes,” Rarity said to herself. “You would just love that, wouldn’t you? You who can’t get enough of toying with me. Haven’t you been doing too well lately, Rarity? Yes, you have. We’ll see about that, won’t we?” Rarity caught herself. “Stop it, Rarity, you’re acting like Twilight.”

Rarity had business with her family. If she needed to see them, it wasn’t because she was slacking off. She still approached their home cautiously. To her relief, a flock of tourists weren’t standing in the spot they always stood in. Rarity made her way to the front door. Sweetie Belle would be in school, but either her mother or father would still be at home.

The door opened as Rarity reached for the doorbell and her mother stepped outside.

“Rarity, what a nice surprise. I seen ya comin’ from a mile away. Looked like ya were in a big hurry.”

How she had avoided picking up her parents’ thick accents was something she never got tired of appreciating. “Yes, you’re right. I suppose I am, so I’m afraid this isn’t a social call.”

“Well, it’s always good to see ya, kid.”

Cookie Crumbles moved in to hug her daughter. Rarity accepted. It was a feeling that wouldn’t be there forever. She cherished it.

“Whatcha need? Didjya run outta bakin’ sodah again?”

“No. I just need to have a quick look around, is all.”

Rarity ignored the look her mother gave her and headed for Sweetie Belle’s room. The door was closed. It would be rude to barge in unannounced when she wasn’t at home. Rarity put her head as close to door as she could get without touching it. Her spell revealed a single piece of pyrite inside a box underneath Sweetie Belle’s bed. Rarity smiled. It might have been gold for fools, but Sweetie Belle had thought enough about it to keep it.

The attic was Rarity’s next destination. Her mother followed her. Eventually, she would ask the question and Rarity would have to give the answer. The result was predictable. She would delay it for as long as possible.

Her father was on his way down from the attic when she reached the stairs. He had a cardboard box in his aura. “Oh, heya, Rarity. Didn’t hear ya come in. Have you saved Equestria again this week?”

Rarity held her head high. “No, but I did happen to gain the trust of a very important client.”

Her father blinked a few times. “Oh. Congrats. You know what you’re doin’. You’ll knock their socks off.”

It was clear which of her stories he preferred.

“Lemme squeeze pastcha, Rarity,” her father said.

“What have you got there, anyway?” Rarity asked.

“A friend of mine was lookin’ through his stuff a week ago and he found Triple Play’s rookie card. He took it to a hobby shop and got a thousand bits for it. I’m pretty sure I have that card somewhere as well. You gonna stay for lunch?”

Rarity ascended into the attic. “I’m sorry, but I’m in a hurry.”

“Want us to bring it over to your shop?” her mother asked from the bottom of the steps.

Boxes of varying shapes and sizes loomed over Rarity. What were the odds she had left anything here? “That would be fine.”

Her spell revealed her mother’s old jewelry along with a few gold and silver ingots she had given to her parents. Carelessness or theft were the only two remaining possibilities. She settled on negligence, submitting to the reality that she wasn’t perfect. Today had been going very well. An extreme high and now a terrible low. Balance had been restored to her life.

“What are you lookin’ for, Rarity?” her mother asked from behind her.

“It doesn’t matter. It’s not here, anyway.” Rarity cringed. She had said too much.

Her father chuckled. “Didjya look in the last place it would be?”

“Yes. Not only is my fire ruby absent from my bathroom, it doesn’t appear to be in your attic, either.”

She earned a scoff from her mother. “I guess you’ll just have to use that fancy gem findin’ spell all over Ponyville until you find it, then.”

Rarity pulled out a box bearing her name. The box she had chosen contained old toys. She pulled out a Brain Twister that had been tucked away unsolved. “That sounds exhausting.”

“Have Princess Twilight help yah, then,” her father offered.

A few idle rotations of the Brain Twister left it in a solved state. She still had it. Rarity dropped it back into her box. “I like the first suggestion more.”

Her mother’s eyes went wide. “Are you two not talkin’? What happened?”

“We’re talking, Mother. I don’t want to ask for her help because it would make me look bad. The fire ruby originally belonged to Spike. He gave it to me and in my blissful ignorance I have completely forgotten where I put it.”

“I’m sure it will turn up somewhere. Try thinkin’ like a fire ruby. If you were one, where would you be?”

If she were a fire ruby, she wouldn’t be easy to find. Having been in hiding somewhere at the bottom of a volcano, only a dragon would be able to get to her safely. Odds were she’d be eaten the second she was discovered. A wiser dragon would hoard her until it could no longer tolerate how agonizing it was to age her. Then she would be given to some beautiful fashionista who would wear her once, put her in a cabinet, and promptly forget about her. She’d gather dust until someone or something came across her who thought more of her than the fashionista did.

“I’ll keep that in mind while I’m looking for it,” Rarity said.

“Your father and I could help, if yah want.”

“Let me see if I can find it first. If not, I’ll have both of you over. Until then, I’ve got to get back to work.”

“Alright, we’ll see yah when we drop off lunch, then,” her father said.

They left the attic together. Before heading outside, Rarity peered out the living room window. Sure enough, Mud was outside by the dock admiring the pond with a gaggle of would-be paparazzi. If she slipped out the back door, chances were high she could avoid bumping into them. A better idea replaced the initial plan immediately.

“Mother, Father, do you two think you could go distract those adorable tourists for a few minutes while I leave?”

Her mother almost leapt in excitement. “Yah mean you’re going to let us talk to visitors again?”

“I never said you couldn’t. I only requested you not share stories about me that I’d like to keep private.”

“There’s a whole lotta those,” her father said.

“Yes, there is. Don’t they ever ask anything about either of you?”

“There’s not much to us, Rarity,” her mother said. “You know that.”

“Fine. Forget what I have said. Just don’t tell anyone about the time I ate the honey scented soap bar. Especially to that group since I’m supposed to be working for one of them right now. I’ll tolerate everything else.”

Her parents hurried out the front door, eager to make new friends. Rarity exited through the back entrance and set out for her boutique. If she could not find the fire ruby by the time the evening arrived, she would report it stolen. It sounded so absurd. Theft in a town where six experienced adventurers lived, the victim being one of them. A seasoned professional had to have done it. She shuddered at the thought of someone breaking into her home. Why had they only taken one thing from her? It made no sense.

Rarity reached her boutique and went through her front door, being sure to grab the sign on her way in. All her mannequins were stripped and arranged to be facing her the moment she stepped inside. The curtains had been closed in her absence, leaving very little light in the room. She backed up into the closed door, the hair on her coat standing on edge in alarm. She noticed a card lying on the ground. It had been put there for her to find. Rarity fetched a pink hoofkerchief from her available inventory and used it along with her hoof to pick up the card. Magic or the imprint of her hoof might soil the evidence. Triple Play was on the card, at bat and ready to hit another home run with a wad of salty bubblegum pushed into the cheek facing the camera. The back of the card displayed his stats instead of a message.

Rarity turned the card around and saw Discord staring back at her, dressed as Triple Play. He gave her a wave. She yelped and tossed the card on the ground. A red, pulsating vortex in the shape of a door appeared from nowhere out of her floor. Discord stepped out.

The door receded into the floor and vanished behind Discord. “Good morning.”

It had been a good morning. Once upon a time.

“I trust you have a good explanation for spying on me?” Rarity asked.

“Where did you get that idea?” Discord countered.

“It’s not obvious? The baseball card.”

“I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about. I’ve got a million different ways to make an appearance while you girls are still around and I’d like to get through a good chunk of them.”

Jumping to conclusions was only going to make her look silly. She reined in her anger and decided he was telling the truth. For now. Rarity assumed he was here on business since she couldn’t imagine him ever paying her a social call and decided to treat him like a potential customer. “To what do I owe this pleasure? Are you looking for a new suit? I haven’t made one for a Draconequus, but I’m sure there’s nothing to it. Measurements do most of the work.”

Discord snapped his eagle talons. Rarity’s mannequins returned to their original positions and her curtains opened themselves.

“I’m just checking up on you, is all. You didn’t notice Fluttershy giving you a friendly wave while you were on your way to wherever it was you had to get to in such a hurry. You were also talking to yourself. That had us both worried. What’s got the Element of Generosity in such a tizzy? Income inequality?”

That was good for a laugh, but he didn’t deserve the credit.

“It’s nothing you need to be concerned about.”

“Good, because I’m only asking for a friend.”

Slick. “If you must know, the fire ruby Spike gave me has gone missing and I can’t figure out if it has been stolen or misplaced. I wanted to give it back to him on his birthday, but I might not be able to.”

Discord blinked a few times and leaned in. “A dragon parted with a fire ruby? What did you want it for?”

“A dress.”

Discord burst out laughing and fell to the floor. She wasn’t amused. A giant chicken feather appeared out of nowhere. It went for the spot right above her stomach before she could avoid it. In no time at all, she was on the floor laughing along with him.

“How ridiculous!” Discord exclaimed while catching his breath. “And you probably just tossed it in your closet after only wearing it once, didn’t you?”

The feather vanished. Rarity got up off the floor, thankful she spent so much time vacuuming it. She had to catch her breath before speaking. “Yes. Would you like a medal?”

He straightened up in an instant, leaving no trace of his laughing fit behind. “Give one to that misguided, lovesick reptile. Has he ever asked you to give it back to him? Probably not, right? Not with Twilight there to drill gift giving etiquette into him.”

“Discord, you are making me feel worse. What makes you think you can just barge in here and start insulting me? I thought we had at least managed to come to respect one another through your friendship with Fluttershy.”

“I do respect you, Rarity. That gives me the right to be honest with you, doesn’t it? Unfortunately for you and everyone else, honesty doesn’t always account for feelings. With that in mind, here’s something you need to hear.” Discord snapped the toes of his lion paw together and they were both standing in her closet. He gestured to all the dresses in their view. “You hoard. No wonder that schmuck likes you so much. And don’t give me that spiel about how each of these dresses is oh, so precious. You could honestly make do with twenty of them, but then the size of this closet would begin to look rather silly.”

“If you are trying to imply that I lost the fire ruby simply because I have too many personal items, you’re wrong.”

“But it certainly wouldn’t hurt. Do you even still fit in the one you wore for prom?”

No. Stupid hips. “As if I’d answer that.”

Discord put a talon to his lips and looked around. “Is it still in here? May I see it?”

“You can’t.”

“Why? Because it’s in storage?”

Rarity didn’t answer and stepped out of her closet.

“I was wondering what you were going to do when you reached the end of this closet!” Discord called after her.

She needed to get away from him. Dropping him off at Fluttershy’s was the only method that would work. The door to her bedroom was shut. Rarity attempted to open it. Someone had locked it from the other side. Possessing the ability to teleport rarely ceased being enviable, but it was beyond her skill. She headed for her window. Calling out for help might get him to leave. If that didn’t work, a pegasus stallion would be able to fly her to the ground.

Rarity opened her window. Instead of seeing what should have naturally been on the other side, she saw into her bedroom from her open door. The image was manipulated to accommodate the window. She could see herself looking out the window looking into her bedroom. It wasn’t going to work. She closed the window and turned to face Discord, noting that her bedroom door had been returned to normal and left open.

“Alright, Rar, settle down,” Discord said.

“Do not ever call me that again.”

“Life only comes with one guarantee: that it will end. You know, a fire ruby would have been a fine gift for that little rug rat, but what would you say if I told you I knew of something much better?”

“That depends. Is this part of some game or are you being serious?”

Discord clapped his claw and paw together and a box wrapped in gift paper bearing a pattern of Twilight Sparkle making unflattering faces appeared from nothing. The one with her intentionally protruding her upper jaw with half lidded eyes almost got a snicker out of Rarity. She unwrapped it carefully to save the paper so she could burn it later if Discord didn’t put it back wherever he had pulled it from. A hideous green box was underneath the paper. Rarity took off the lid.

Nestled in velvet was a gem stone cut in the shape of a heart. The outer edges were black and something very interesting was in its center. A frozen universe was trapped inside the gem. Rarity took it out and gave it a closer examination. The only ingredient she recognized was onyx, which was the equivalent of bread to dragons.

“Don’t strain yourself, it’s a replicate,” Discord said. “The recipe to make this isn’t widely known, but I still remember it quite well.”

The frozen universe had captured the other half of her attention. She imagined it functioned like a creamy nugget. The onyx would taste like dark chocolate. “And what is it made of?”

“As you’ve no doubt deduced, the base is onyx. The other ingredients include celevite, lunatoite, and moonstone capable of holding a magical charge.”

Rarity stopped admiring the gem and looked at Discord. “You’re joking.”

“I figured you’d say that.”

“Moonstone is nearly impossible to enchant. Any piece of it that can be enchanted is already in use. And celevite is one thing, but if you know the location of a vein of lunatoite, you’re doing the Royal Guard a great disservice by not sharing it with Celestia since they make the best weapons and armor out of it.”

The impressive gem started melting. She had managed to upset him. It wasn’t hard. Rarity held the gem over the box it had come in so nothing would get on the floor since he might not clean it up if she had offended him.

“So, you don’t want my help?” Discord asked. “Have fun looking for that boring fire ruby, then.”

Rarity let what was left of the gem drop into the box with a splash. Some of it got on her coat, reminding her of the texture of syrup. She fought through the urge to clean and held out an imploring hoof to Discord, who was a moment away from teleporting to the safety of Fluttershy’s cottage. “Wait! I’m sorry, I spoke out of turn. You are telling the truth and I am being rude. Please stay a moment and let’s work out a deal.”

Discord narrowed his eyes at her and grinned. This wasn’t going to be pleasant. The liquefied remains of the gem slid off her coat, fell to the ground, and went back to the puddle in the box. Once the gem had finished reassembling itself, it floated into the air. Rarity squinted. Somehow, it had taken on a much more vibrant appearance.

“I offer you a choice, Rarity,” Discord said. “The gem is no longer a replicate. You can take it now and give it to Spike, but it won’t be nearly as delicious as it would be if you chose the second option, which would be to make it yourself.”

“And the catch for the tastier gem is what, exactly?”

“Why, you’ll have to go and gather the ingredients with me as your guide, of course.”

Adventuring was bad enough. Doing it with Discord would be even more of a pain. He’d relish in every second of her misery, but it would be for a good cause.

“I know this might be asking too much, but can I expect you not to put my life in danger if I go on a quest with you?” Rarity asked.

Discord gave her a boop. “You drive a hard bargain. As amusing as it would be to watch you bumble through a gauntlet blindfolded, I’ll step in if you’re about to get stung by a deadly scorpion.”

“Let’s not dress this up,” Rarity said. “You will make sure I don’t get killed. Have I made myself clear?”

“Oh, please. Cae Cae would never let me hear the end of it.”

A white dinner plate bearing Celestia’s cutie mark appeared near Discord’s head.

The plate started shaking. “How could you?” Luna’s voice demanded in place of Celestia’s. “She was a national treasure, but she was more than that to me! She was my---”

Discord pulled out a megaphone to speak over Luna’s voice. “Can you imagine hearing that for eternity? I know you’re mortal, but give it a try anyway.” Both props vanished.

Rarity noticed her ears were ringing. Discord shoved an uncut diamond in front of her face. She had to take a step back. He was holding it in his lion paw.

“May I ask a personal question?”

He was in her bedroom, after all.

“Yes, but I may choose not to answer it.”

“Do you know how to do this?” Discord used the talons on his eagle claw to give the diamond an emerald cut.

“You make it look very easy,” Rarity replied. “I am familiar with the process, but I’m no expert, if that’s what you’re trying to ask. Is that a bad thing?”

“No, I’ll help you. Do you know a jeweler who has a work station for those who can use magic to keep the rest of his shop from going up in smoke? I like to play it fast and loose.”

“What, you can’t just conjure one up?”

“I could, but a natural one would work better.”

“You’re in luck. I studied under a master goldsmith for a little while to learn how to cut gems before I started making dresses. We became friends. He has a shop with all the equipment we would need to process raw materials. I haven’t spoken with him in a while, but I’m sure he’d let me use his tools for an afternoon.”

“Splendid. Send him a letter immediately.”

“How much of my time is all of this going to take?” Rarity asked. “In addition to being subjected to your sadistic whims, I have to make a wedding dress for a very important client.”

“Convenient.”

“Such is life.”

Rarity’s bedroom was filled almost to the ceiling with onyx. She found herself holding a kickboard and noticed the rocks moved around as if they were water. Discord came floating by on an inflatable bed, sipping cider out of a battered clay goblet.

“I’m sure you’re swimming in onyx since it’s so common, so we don’t have to worry about going farther than the local market to get the amount we’ll need.” Discord offered Rarity the old goblet, which she declined. “We can gather the other three items over the course of three days. On the fourth day, we can make the gem at your ex-coltfriend’s parlor. I’ll try to have you home in time for supper every day. How’s that?”

A dolphin jumped out of the onyx, slammed headfirst into the ceiling, and belly flopped back into the rock ocean.

“It’s agreeable,” Rarity said.

The ocean disappeared through an invisible drain, taking the dolphin and swimming gear with it. A lime green wall appeared near the center of the room. It was just large enough to hang the cuckoo clock Discord placed on it. No support was provided to keep the hideous piece of drywall upright, but that didn’t keep it from remaining perfectly balanced.

“I’ll be here tomorrow morning at ten. Make sure you’re ready.”

“Ten?” Rarity asked. “What’s keeping you from being here earlier?”

“My beauty sleep. The day starts at ten.”

In his world.

He tossed an orange saddlebag at her, which landed right at her front hoofs. “That’s yours. Nothing goes in there except what’s already in it and the rocks we’re after. Be careful. It’s a bottomless bag.”

“Aren’t those dangerous?”

“Only if you’re an idiot. Try not to fall into it and you’ll be fine.”

Curious to see what he had allowed her to leave with, Rarity opened the saddlebag. A mirror, a brush, an emergency makeup kit with her preferred colors, and a package of sanitary wipes would be in her inventory while out questing. The items floated above a black void. If he had thought enough to provide her with these tools of comfort, she was in for a lot of work.

Discord wiggled his claw and paw in excitement. “Oh, we’re going to have so much fun together, Rarity. I can see it now. And just think. After all this is finished, you’ll have a story to tell that might make up for staying in Ponyville while Twilight, Fluttershy, and Applejack flew over the ocean to save the Salamanders from their own stupidity.”

A vein in her forehead popped out. “Wait just a minute. That isn’t fair. I was not invited to that excursion.”

“Gee, I wonder why.”

“If Twilight had thought I would have been useful, she would have said something and I would have gone. Not just as an Element, but as a friend she needed. I would have put up with the terrible weather and the abominable plant creature for her. I wouldn’t have liked it all that much, but I still would have done it.”

“How much are you willing to put up with for Spike?”

“Just as much, if not more. I should have given him that silly gem after I determined I was never going to wear it again. I will make this right. He’s a dragon of character. The Crystal Kingdom has even made songs about him. He’s earned whatever it is we’re going to be making.”

“I’ll hold you to all of that, Rarity. Incidentally, the closest approximation to Ponish I can think of for the recipe we’re working with would be a Bonding Stone.”

“Sounds appetizing.”

“I’m sure he’d share a bite with you if you ask.”

“I’ll pass.”

Discord opened Rarity’s window, ushering in a chill warning of the approaching winter. “That was all rather riveting. I’m glad we could come to an agreement. If you need to get a hold of me before tomorrow morning, Fluttershy will be able to put us in touch. Be sure to hit the sack early, Rarity. You’re going to need the rest.”

He squatted as if to leap out the window and passed through the floor out of sight without leaving any damage behind. The window shut itself.

Now that all the distractions were safely out of the way, Rarity put on her orange saddlebag and headed straight for her inspiration room. A lot of work needed to be done. Plans needed to be sketched. Orders for materials she didn’t have would need to be placed. Discord wasn’t going to make their outing easy on her. Trying to be creative while exhausted from a day of work was a lot like attempting to climb up a mountain while only using a sledgehammer. She intended to have a good start on Rain’s wedding dress by the time tomorrow morning came around.

Chapter 2

Rarity’s showroom floor was nearly ready to function without her. It was a little more cluttered than she liked, but it couldn’t be helped. The bell above her front door jingled as someone stepped in.

Applejack was thirty minutes early, as usual. “Mornin’, Rarity. Sleep well?”

Rarity didn’t stop marking prices on the clothes she had out. “I’m afraid not. I couldn’t stop myself from worrying about what Discord has in store for me or the very important client I’m due to see in four days. Even with a bit of valerian root, I only managed four hours of sleep. It was miserable.”

Applejack took in the abundance of items Rarity had on display. “Are you havin’ a sale today?”

“Not entirely. I’ve got more of my inventory on the floor than usual since I can’t expect you to know my shop inside and out.”

“Thanks, that will help me out.”

Rarity finished setting her prices and went over to Applejack. “I’m the one who should be thanking you. I really appreciate you coming in on such short notice. I’ll be sure to return this favor.”

“Just focus on stayin’ one step ahead of Discord since he’ll play rough. I’ll manage all this to the best of my ability. It’ll work out.”

“Alright. If anyone needs to see me while I’m gone-” Rarity gestured to a stack of paper and a cup full of ink pens “-have them leave me a message. Nobody should give you any trouble. Just about everyone should understand that when I say I have urgent business to attend to, I mean it.”

“Got it.”

“There’s one other matter we should discuss. It’s about the client I just mentioned. Her name is Ocean Rain. If she happens to come in early for some reason, give her the sealed envelope beneath the register. As I said, she shouldn’t stop by today, but one can never be too sure of anything.”

“What should I say if she or some other pony wants to know what you’re up to?”

“Tell them I’m out gathering materials to make a custom gemstone for another very important client. If they are feeling particularly chatty, try not to mention that I’m working with Discord if you can find a way around it. Anyone who absolutely must speak with me today can do so after I’ve returned this afternoon.”

Applejack went behind the counter holding Rarity’s register and confirmed that the envelope was where she said it would be. “Clear as mud, Rarity.”

Rarity began heading up the stairs. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“Take your time and be careful!” Applejack called after her.

Once inside her bedroom, Rarity sat in her reading chair in the corner of the room next to the window. Her new bottomless bag was on an end table beside the chair. A book rested on top of it. Regarding Salamander Culture: A Comprehensive Guide, written by Twilight Sparkle. Rarity had made it most of the way through. Twilight had a knack for immersion and could make a shopping list read like poetry, even when she was writing for the highbrow crowd. Rarity picked up where she had last left off while she waited for Discord to arrive.

Her alarm clock tore her out of the book five minutes before ten arrived. She marked her place with a bookmark Sweetie Belle had made for her, slipped on her new saddlebag, and waited. It was almost time. But for now, her mane was fabulous. Her makeup wasn’t running. Sweat wasn’t dripping into her eyes. There were no nasty bugs biting her as they always seemed to do whenever they needed a meal. At least she wouldn’t be wandering around outside in the middle of the summer or winter. It was a bit chilly outside, but that was good. She wouldn’t sweat as much. Additionally, the exercise she would be getting would make up for how much she was likely to eat during Spike’s birthday party.

The clock struck ten and fell off its hook. It landed on its back instead of its face, which could only mean one thing. Discord emerged from the door the bird would have slid out of. His leer did little to mask his narcissism. Rarity wasn’t impressed.

The leer twisted downward in disappointment when Discord noticed Rarity’s blank expression. “You saw that one coming, didn’t you?”

“Don’t take it personally.” Rarity grabbed the saddlebag with her aura and put it on. “What’s on the agenda for today, Discord?”

“You and I will be hunting celevite.”

Rarity sighed. “At the gate to Tartarus, I suspect.”

“Heavens, no! I’d be far too busy keeping you safe if that’s where we were going.”

A black track suit and a blue bandana appeared on Discord’s body. Two small weights proclaiming to weigh one ton each appeared in her room. He began levitating them while running in place, oblivious to the glare Rarity developed.

“What are you doing aside from looking like a complete goon?” Rarity asked.

Discord punched at the air. “I’m getting warmed up.”

Her bedroom stretched out fifty yards in every direction. In the time it took to blink, it became so cramped that nothing was more than an inch apart. Discord’s body odor hit her. She had no space to back away into. Rarity held her breath, but she could feel the smell taking the color out of her mane.

“How did you think we were going to be traveling?” Discord asked. “By train? Please. We’re teleporting. Where we’re going is much farther than what Twilight managed with that airship, but that’s fine. This isn’t a competition. You ponies can’t be blamed for having inferior magic. Are you ready for some yoga?”

The room became its normal size again and began flipping upside down. Rarity braced herself, but she didn’t start falling. Everything in her room slid smoothly into the ceiling, which was now the floor.

“You would make an excellent cartoon character,” Rarity said.

“Thanks, you’re not so bad yourself.”

A deep rumble reached Rarity’s ears. Twilight’s book fell from its resting place with a thud. Drawers slid open, vibrating incessantly.

Applejack appeared at the door to the room as Discord put one leg in front of the other, knelt, and placed both his claw and paw above his head. “What in tarnation is goin’ on up here?”

There was a bright flash. Then there was nothing at all. Rarity had a second to worry about it before the world appeared in front of her eyes again. She stood on a trail leading upward. A lush landscape surrounded her. Trees. Flowers. A lake in the distance. Concession stands selling salted ice cream. Public restrooms. They were at a national park. Which one was a mystery since they hadn’t teleported near an entrance.

Other ponies who had been enjoying themselves before she popped into existence stopped taking pictures, cuddling on the public benches, and feeding tame squirrels long enough to make her the center of attention. Almost all of them recognized her and the creature she was with. Much squealing followed. A heroine of Equestria traveling with a reformed villain who could destroy the world at the drop of a hat if he wanted to. It was the perfect photo op. The sound of camera shutters closing filled the air. Rarity put on a smile and waved at her fans.

“Wow!” Discord exclaimed. “I can’t remember the last time I had to use so much. . .oops.”

Her intuition had been correct. Something had gone wrong. Rarity checked her mane with her hoof. “Did you just say oops?”

“Probably.”

She pulled the mirror out of her saddlebag and studied her reflection. Everything looked normal. Rogue Damsel was specially formulated to hold up on adventures. “And what precisely did you mean by it when you said it?”

Discord showed her his left arm, which was bent at a funny angle.

Rarity leaned in. “I’m no doctor, but that looks like it’s dislocated.”

He flicked his arm and it snapped back into place with the noise a light bulb made when it decided to burn out in style. The crowd groaned in disgust.

“So, where are we?” Rarity asked as she admired a field of azaleas.

“Welcome to the Yellow Rock Royal Park!” Discord shouted. A chorus of cheers from the patrons backed up his enthusiasm.

“I haven’t been here yet. Isn’t this place famous for limestone?”

“Yes, and if Cae Cae hadn’t been so quick to label this stretch of land a park, someone would have eventually found what we’re looking for.”

“And how did you learn that something as rare as you-know-what is waiting just beneath the surface?”

“I’m going to live forever.”

“That explains everything, doesn’t it?”

Discord nodded. “Follow me. We have a short hike to get to where we need to be.”

“How many minutes does an immortal being such as yourself fit inside the definition of short?”

“Start counting.”

He walked ahead of her, tossing a canteen over his shoulder without looking back. It landed around her neck and adjusted itself until it rested on her body like a necklace. Rarity took a deep breath and began walking alongside Discord. This would be the easy part.

The trek took them uphill. There was plenty to look at along the way and all of it was gorgeous. Birds. Grass. Willows. Outdoorsy type things. Rarity wished she had packed a camera. She caught sight of a beautiful lodge overlooking a pond from the hill they were ascending and wondered what brand of luxury mattresses the owner had trusted to place in the available rooms.

Discord kept a pace that didn’t make her sweat. That would come later. Each time they reached a fork in the road, Discord led her up the path to higher ground. Some ponies could tell time based on the position of the sun, but Rarity wasn’t one of them. Her legs eventually started hurting, but she powered through it. She was in her prime. The pain was nothing. She had endured worse. Poor reviews stung more than achy joints.

A building near an entrance to a cave came into view. Rarity instinctively knew they had reached their destination. If gems could not be found in caves, she would have nothing nice to say about them. Some sort of twist had to be in store for her. Discord always worked an angle. She kept her guard up.

Discord headed into the building. To get through the front door, he had to shrink himself a few hoofs. He held it open for Rarity.

“Thank you,” Rarity said as she entered a rest area.

A dozen ponies were mingling at the oak tables provided in the lounge. Some were eating food they had pulled from the available vending machines. There was a large yellow banner that had “The Great Cave Adventure!” written across it in red ink taped to the back wall. Beneath the banner was a long table containing several trays stacked with papers. Rarity suspected they might find a map among the documents.

“Alright, who’s in charge here?” Discord asked.

A stallion stopped chatting with the two mares he had been sitting with and trotted over to them. He wore an orange vest bearing the name of the park.

“Hello, I’m Grotto. May I help you?” the stallion asked.

“That depends. Are you the manager?” Discord asked.

“You might have to go to the entrance of the park if you’re looking for one of those,” Grotto replied. “There’s an admin building about---”

“I’ll make do with you,” Discord said. “How many customers do you have inside the cave right now?”

“I had a caver check in a few hours ago. Ten other regular visitors decided they didn’t want to take our guided tour and went in on their own. Why?”

“Because I was hoping to have the entire cave to myself and my hot date.”

Rarity almost passed out. “Oh, no, no, no. Not even as a joke.”

“Stop it, dear. You’re embarrassing me,” Discord said. He returned his attention to the stallion. “What’s it going to take to get you to make sure nobody else goes in that cave while me and my fillyfriend are in it?”

Grotto grimaced, unable to give an immediate answer to such a sudden, demanding request. “Uhh. . .”

“You got this job because you knew somebody, didn’t you?” Discord asked.

“Discord, please!” Rarity interjected. “Have some manners. How long are we going to be in that cave?”

“That’s going to depend entirely on you. If I had to guess, I’d say this will take about three hours.”

“Then I shall rent the whole cave for our use for that amount of time.” Rarity turned to Grotto and gave him a smile. “About how much will that be?”

“Don’t worry, I’ve got it.” Discord snapped his eagle talons. A gold ingot appeared suspended in front of Grotto’s face. It landed on the ground with a thud.

“Wait just a moment, that’s illegal!” Rarity snapped. “You can’t make gold magically. It’s counterfeit.”

“Believe me, honey bunches of oats, I know,” Discord said. “Everything that bar is made of has been drawn from resources in the immediate area.”

“This place has gold?” Grotto asked.

“And other beauties that would blow your mind,” Discord replied.

“Wow. I might need to let the park manager know about that. You don’t need this much to rent the cave, though. We do rent it out for private tours, but those must be scheduled in advance. It’s only forty bits for that.”

“What a deal.” Discord snapped the toes of his lion paw. The bar shrunk in size and a pouch full of bits appeared next to it.

Grotto rummaged through the pouch. “This looks like the right number of bits, but what’s the ingot for?”

Discord rubbed at his eyes. “What an imbecile. It’s yours. Use it to pay for college. Keep everyone else out of the cave while we are in it.”

Grotto nodded. “Okay, I suppose I can do that. Business has been slow today. Everyone in here has already been through the cave. It looks like you packed a canteen, which is good. Would you like a map?”

Discord turned around and headed for the exit. “No need. I’ve been through it before. Even the portions that aren’t mapped.”

Rarity perked up. “I’ll take a map, Grotto.”

“Good idea.” Grotto pointed to the table beneath the banner. “They are in the purple tray.”

She grabbed a map, stuffed it into her saddlebag, gave Grotto one last smile, and hurried to catch up with Discord. He had grown back to his original size. Something inside of her saddlebag began moving around a few steps short of the cave entrance. A crane fashioned from the map broke free and flew away.

“We’re not going to need that,” Discord said. “Where we’re headed isn’t on it.”

“It wouldn’t hurt to have,” Rarity said, watching the crane ascend into the sky. It flew in front of the sun, which caused her to stop looking at it.

“It will just clog up your inventory, Rarity. Trust me.”

“I don’t mean to speak out of turn, but those of us who aren’t mares tend to overestimate their confidence in their sense of direction. That’s considered common knowledge, at least among ponies.”

A squeaking noise accompanied Discord’s sharp turn. He had something that looked like a stamp in his talons. “Open your mouth.”

Rarity’s neck reared back in sudden disgust. “Excuse me?”

The second she finished her sentence before having a chance to close her mouth, Discord’s eagle claw shot out and placed the stamp on her tongue. Whatever it was, it began dissolving immediately and tasted a lot like a watermelon. Rarity spat at the ground to no avail.

“Discord, you’ve got some nerve!” Rarity shouted. “When was the last time you washed your claws?”

Her chest felt fuzzy, as did all her limbs. A flash of blinding white light appeared in front of her. Everything Discord knew about the cave became evident to her faster than her mind could process it. Tunnels. Stalactites. Stalagmites. Limestone. A sign advising ponies not to even think of cave diving next to an underground lake. Yet more limestone. Sections leading away from the main path blocked by a barrier spell set permanently in place by a unicorn who could wield magic at the master level. Gold ore. Down, down, down. Celevite could never be found near the surface. Someone had once dug deep enough to find it.

“Happy now, sugar plum?” Discord asked.

Rarity couldn’t get the taste of watermelon out of her mouth. “What happened to the ponies who were the first to find what we’re after?”

“Something that isn’t going to happen to you.”

A sudden gust of wind accompanied their entrance to the cave. This wasn’t going to be a regular gem-hunt. An endless number of unpleasantries presented themselves to her imagination. Bats liked caves. Cockroaches loved caves. And centipedes. One had crawled up her leg during her very first gem hunt. Someone had to have been down in there with her because she started hearing rumors that the cave was haunted. It must have had something to do with the scream she had produced.

Occupants marked as highly dangerous and easily irritable in the Bestiary of Unpleasant Creatures also had a notorious affinity for subterranean dwellings. Rarity caught herself. The section of the cave opened to the public would have no such terrors lurking in the shadows. They wouldn’t be spending a lot of time in that area, though. Discord had promised to keep her safe. She had to trust him. Perhaps even look on the brighter side. If anything, she was experiencing the most interesting part of her day.

Discord stretched his eagle claw towards the ceiling and cast an illumination spell, causing a bright bulb of pure white light to leap from his talons. He had weaved tracking into the spell, since it responded by moving in the direction their eyes were facing. The intensity of the light lessened whenever it happened upon bats or if it was looked at directly. Discord had some skill. Rarity couldn’t deny that.

Their trot through the cave wasn’t dull. The interior was completely natural. Some of it seemed sculpted. It was a refreshing departure from the cramped tunnels she was familiar with in the mines and smaller caves she trudged through in search of gems. There was room to breathe and plenty to look at. Rarity considered it a pleasant experience that would soon come crashing down all around her.

They reached a junction. Another one appeared almost immediately. Discord knew where he was going. Rarity didn’t even think of questioning him until they encountered a dead end. This was the first break Discord had given her. She had been able to drink water from her canteen when needed easily enough, but there hadn’t been much of a chance to keep up her appearance.

She pulled out her mirror and gazed into it while Discord leaned against the wall. “Are you going to turn this space into an elevator?” Her cosmetics were still holding up. That’s why they cost a pastern and a gaskin.

“Why would I want to do that?” Discord asked. “This is your first challenge.”

Rarity scoffed as she stuffed her mirror back into her saddlebag, accidently banging the glass against the buckle. “Do you expect me to teleport to the other side? I think that may violate the terms of the agreement we came to the other day.”

“You’re not very observant, are you? Have a closer look at your surroundings.”

“You won’t simply tell me?”

He grinned. Something about the expression gave off the aura of the old Discord. Rarity responded with the look she reserved for stallions who were about to suggest they split the bill. It had no effect.

“No. I want to see the look on your face when you figure it out,” Discord said.

Rarity guarded her emotions. If he knew he was creeping her out, he would become even more unreasonable. In front of Rarity stood a wall made of limestone. Hardly out of the ordinary, especially in a cave famous for it. There was a crack along the bottom of the wall just wide enough to squeeze through. A white coat often came in handy. It prevented anyone from being able to tell if she was going pale.

The effort to keep a deadpanned expression caused her lips to quiver. “You can’t be serious.”

A large blue glow stick slid out from the crack and smacked against her hoofs. The muffled grunts of a random stallion escaped from the small opening. Two hoofs protected by rubber boots came out first, followed quickly by a head sporting a safety helmet with a dirty lamp.

The stallion knocked his head against the wall, startled by his audience. He recovered quickly and began laughing. “Hey, there!”

Rarity could have sworn a comical popping noise followed his exit. He stood up, causing her to blush. She had thought stallions couldn’t come built much bigger than Big Mac. Proof of how wrong she was towered over her. How he had managed to fit inside an opening as tiny as the one before her was nothing short of a small miracle. He turned around and pulled something tied to his hind leg. A backpack came out of the hole.

All the gunk in his hair had hidden the color of his mane and coat. A single piece of his jumpsuit not covered in filth revealed that it would be yellow after he put it through the wash a few times. He stunk of exertion mixed with the earth, much like Applejack did during the summer after a day of hard work.

“Greetings, weary caver,” Discord said. “Who might you be?”

“Tight Squeeze,” the stallion started laughing. “Just kidding. I’m Dandy Primrose. You’re the cretin that almost conquered Equestria a few years back, right?”

A tiny piece of Rarity’s tongue escaped from her mouth as she bit down on it with her teeth to keep herself from snickering.

Discord chuckled. “My good stallion, I had your capital city and its suburb under control within minutes. I could have had all the land across this continent switched from soil to strawberry jelly with one simple snap if the Elements hadn’t managed to get their groove back. The only reason I held back was to pace myself. Who wants to spoil all the fun immediately?”

Dandy wasn’t impressed. “Uh-huh. What’s someone like you doing with a mare like that?”

“This is one of my besties. Don’t you recognize her?” Discord asked.

Dandy narrowed his eyes. “Hold on. She looks familiar. Don’t tell me. Fluttershy? No, that’s the wrong one. Princess Twilight Sparkle? No, she has wings. Show me your cutie mark.”

Rarity stood so that he could see it. He leaned in so close his muzzle almost touched her hip.

“Can I get five consonants and a vowel?” Dandy asked.

Rarity guffawed. She and her friends were supposed to be in the same category of common knowledge as the color of the sky. Rarity needed to remain polite. This was a blessing. How long had it been since she hadn’t been recognized? “I’m Rarity, the Element of Generosity.”

The confused expression on his face let her know he still didn’t know who she was. “Oh, yeah!” Dandy said, but his heart wasn’t in it. “What brings you two to the entrance of the Wriggler?”

“Curiosity,” Discord replied. “You look like you’ve done this sort of thing before. What can you tell us about this feature of the cave?”

Dandy put on his backpack like a saddle. “I don’t know. You’re not planning to go in there, are you? Neither of you are dressed for it. You’ll get cut up pretty bad if you go in there naked.”

Discord clapped his claw and paw together. Rarity noticed she now wore a disgusting jungle green jumpsuit with pink rubber boots covering her hoofs. A yellow safety helmet with a lamp attached to it had found its way around her head. Discord had her saddlebag slung over one shoulder.

“That’s more like it,” Dandy said, nodding in approval at Rarity’s gear. “A pony your size should have no problems in there. Your bud looks like a noodle. He’ll slip through easier than you will. There’s nothing too dangerous on this course. It’s beginner friendly. Kind of. There’s a drop, but you’ll see it coming. That’s about it, I guess. Anything else I can help you with?”

Rarity thought about how much fun was ahead of her and sighed to get the anxiety out of her chest. “I’d say that about covers it. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Enjoy the formations. I know you’ve seen plenty of those already, but you’re about to see some that you only get to see if you’re serious about exploring caves.” Dandy picked up his glow stick using his mouth and exited the chamber.

Rarity watched him leave. There was a brief commotion as Dandy enthusiastically greeted the other ponies coming back from the end of the tour. He had startled them. Laughter followed. They began heading towards the entrance together. She wished she could go with them. Discord wouldn’t have to restrain himself for much longer.

“Let me get you your own light,” Discord said.

He opened his lion paw. A second sphere of light floated above it. He gave the sphere a puff. The ball flew over and bonded to Rarity. It was to be her companion and would function far better than a flashlight. Discord reached behind Rarity’s ear and pulled out a silver whistle on a gold chain. He draped it over her neck.

“If you get stuck, give this a toot and I’ll bring the lube,” Discord said.

“I don’t see how I’ll be able to do that with my lungs sandwiched between two slabs of limestone,” Rarity said.

“I have faith in you, Rarity. I’ll go on ahead. Take your time. I made sure to bring plenty of crossword puzzles and word searches.”

Instead of vanishing, Discord slid through the crack with a startling burst of speed. The noise his body made as it scratched against the innards of the cave lessened, leaving Rarity in silence. She switched on her headlamp for additional light and got down on her belly. This was for Spike. He deserved it. The discomfort would not last forever and the outcome easily outweighed the effort. Watching Spike tear through the wrapping paper and pop open the fancy box she planned to put the gem in would be worth every bit of the agony she needed to endure.

“I am lucky to be able to do this,” Rarity whispered to herself. “I will try to enjoy myself. If this was easy, it wouldn’t be anywhere near as special.” She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “Alright. That’s enough stalling. On with the show.”

Rarity crawled into the guts of the cave. Discord’s musk mixed with Dandy’s, creating a distinct male odor. She wiggled over to the left, avoiding where the guys had been. The ball of light tracked her movement, lingering near her left shoulder and clearly illuminating the path in front of her.

She gave up on holding back any sounds of exertion trying to escape from her mouth. It was unladylike, but so was squirming through the bowels of the earth. Her workouts had nothing on caving, but that was her fault. Twilight insisted on a regular routine of cardio since her closest friends needed to run for their lives every now and then. Despite encouragement, Rarity didn’t bother with anything else.

Rarity went to great lengths to avoid sweating, of which she maintained there were two types. The first was acceptable. Getting nervous at a competition or powering through a dress caused sweat she could tolerate. Farm work and wiggling furiously through tight tunnels caused the other kind she disdained. Her hatred of sweat was precisely the reason she figured the entity who controlled fate saw it fit to encourage her participation in the most grueling activities imaginable. One after the other.

The loss of the captivating sensation produced by being in a confined space alerted her to the chamber she had just entered, which led downward. Rarity stopped crawling forward, stood up, and gave her mane a flick. Tiny rocks flew into the air accompanied by a centipede one hoof in length. It bounced off the cave wall and went back into the crevice she had just crawled out of. She didn’t even realize she had been giving it a ride. That complicated matters. Rarity figured she needed a bath followed by a shower with a trip to the spa added in for good measure before she could feel fabulous again. A centipede on her body merited another bath after the shower. Then she could go to the spa.

Rarity made her way to the bottom of the chamber, being sure to watch for the drop Dandy mentioned. Discord was nowhere to be seen. She hadn’t expected to be let off so easily at the first checkpoint. More furious squirming remained to be done and if didn’t pick up the pace, she would be down in the dark for longer than Discord had estimated.

A crack in the wall served as her next obstacle. To slip into it, she had to stand on her hind legs and tip hoof her way ever so delicately to the exit on the other side. She popped her neck, took a moment to enjoy her freedom, and hurried into the entrance.

Dandy had to be a contortionist. Either that, or she was doing something wrong. Figuring out who to place the blame on robbed her of the concentration it took to inch slowly forward. Her ears flickered at the introduction of an unexpected sound. Running water. A stream was somewhere nearby. Sweat finally managed to drip down into her eyes. She cried out and tried to bring a hoof around to wipe her eyes clear, but there wasn’t enough room to allow for it. With a cry of exasperation, Rarity continued strafing along the line in front of her with her eyes shut tight and her upper lip curled into a snarl. The gem might double as Spike’s Hearth’s Warming Eve gift.

Something grabbed her rump. Rarity jerked bolt upright in alarm, slamming the back of her helmet into the wall behind her so hard that it slipped forward over her eyes. Now she didn’t have to pretend to be blind. Panting in exertion, Rarity used her magic to move the helmet back into place. She wiggled, trying to break free. Nothing. Rarity wiggled again, this time with renewed vigor.

Stupid. Hips.

“Oh, yes!” Rarity cried out. “Yes, indeed. Oh, how very fine and dandy. Speaking of Dandy, I owe you a debt of gratitude, wherever you are. This truly is an easy cave for a mare of my size. Ahh, but I had this coming, didn’t I? Taking the word of a stallion who can’t recognize someone whose cutie mark is plastered on every piece of merchandise our royally appointed legacy manager can imagine.”

Rarity breathed in for four seconds, held the air in her lungs for seven, and exhaled for eight. She repeated the procedure. It wasn’t like she was going anywhere.

“And don’t even get me started on Ocean Rain,” Rarity muttered.

Four. Seven. Eight. It worked. She could feel herself calming down. It was time to swallow her pride and call for help. Rarity used her aura to place the whistle between her lips and blew into it with all her might. It produced the same noise a fog horn did. At first, nothing happened. Before she could blow the whistle again, she heard something coming. Claws scratched against stone. When Discord appeared, he came weaving through the cavern like a snake. He curled his body all around Rarity and placed his face next to hers.

“Show off,” Rarity said.

“As if you have any right to say that. Anyway, I’m quite impressed. I’m not sure how you managed this.”

“It’s my first time. Were you expecting perfection?”

“From you, yes. Anyway, we can’t have some other pony getting snagged like this. That won’t do at all. Hold still.”

The narrow corridor became much wider through some means she had no way of observing. Rarity still had to remain on her hind legs, but she was no longer stuck.

“Better?” Discord asked.

Rarity didn’t answer and continued towards the exit. What Discord had just done got her thinking. He might have modified the cave to be especially challenging for her. Discord wouldn’t admit to it if asked, so Rarity didn’t bother wasting her time.

“You’re welcome,” Discord said. “You’ve got a little bit longer to go.”

Rarity spit sweat out of her mouth. “Don’t wait up.”

“It gets a little interesting once you get past this part. There’s some soda straws and helicities up ahead.”

“Because those weren’t already a part of the regular tour.”

Discord chuckled and shot passed her, kicking up a few pebbles that bounced against her jumpsuit as he left. Rarity squeezed through the exit and entered a room with a ceiling decorated entirely with soda straws. She hadn’t expected there to be so many. Water had to be directly overhead. This hidden cluster of formations was supposed to be her reward, but she could barely appreciate it.

The drop Dandy had mentioned finally arrived. Though virtually impossible to miss, a sign with an arrow pointing to it had still been erected for the less observant. Rarity peered over the drop. The stream she had heard was at the bottom. To get down to it, she would need to take the ladder bolted to the rock. Since the fall looked rather nasty, Rarity proceeded down the ladder with care.

Once she reached the bottom of the ladder, she noticed the stream led into another cramped tunnel. She checked the rest of the chamber to make sure there were no other exits. Some frogs were relaxing near the water. She made sure not to step on them and waded into the stream. The water was chilly, but bearable. As she proceeded further into the tunnel, she found herself standing on her hind legs again and using the wall for support. The water soon came up past her belly. Thankfully, none of it leaked into her boots. Discord had dressed her well.

Her life was made complete when a rat emerged from the shadows and ran across her fetlock. Rarity cried out and lost her balance, tumbling into the water.

She recovered quickly and got back into the same position she had just been in, her mane thoroughly drenched. “Of course!” Rarity swatted the water. “What’s next? Am I going to have to run from a boulder? No, that’s not humiliating enough. Drop something on my head! A wash pan would do just fine!”

Rarity checked for more rats before returning to her cave adventure. What was to be dropped on her head turned out to be the ceiling. The water soon came up to her neck. She met a few crayfishes who weren’t bothered by her intrusion, likely used to curious ponies by now. One waved at her. Rarity flashed it a big smile and continued forward.

The end of the tunnel opened into an underground lake. She scrambled onto land. Even though the route was safe, she feared what might be lurking out there. In the dark. Underwater. Her father had once told her a story he had heard from one of his fishing friends on Nightmare Night about how a catfish had swallowed the friend he had been fishing with. The stallion, a unicorn, had escaped using teleportation.

Though the soda straws had been somewhat underwhelming, the view of the underground lake was a bit more aligned with her tastes. Rarity took a short break, shaking her whole body like a dog to get the water off. A fire would have been nice. There was a spell that unicorns used to warm their bodies, but she had never bothered learning it. Perhaps it was time to take Twilight up on the offer she had made to teach her better magic.

Much to her relief, she didn’t need to venture out into the lake to find the way forward. There was a tunnel leading down tucked away in a corner. An arrow drawn on the wall with red paint pointed at it. A fast learner, Rarity had no problems pulling herself forward on her belly through the narrow space.

She emerged into a small cavern. One of the unicorns working for the park had teleported a crate into the center of the room. Aside from that, another tunnel with a low ceiling awaited her appraisal. She chose to inspect the open container first. Pinback buttons were inside the crate. She fetched one with her aura. Black letters were against a white background. They proudly proclaimed that the bearer of the button was a wriggler. She had to be nearing the end of the course.

After putting the button in a pocket, she noticed all of them suddenly featured Discord’s face.

Every button spoke at once in Discord’s voice. “Having fun yet?”

“You have no idea,” Rarity replied.

Discord erupted from the bottom of the crate, sending buttons flying everywhere. “It’s time for us to take a little detour.”

He crawled out of the crate and walked to the wall that faced away from the tunnel Rarity had expected to take. Discord reached down with his lion paw, grabbed a metal handle that could not have been there before, and pulled the wall up into itself like a garage door. A new passageway was revealed.

“I found something in here that you might be interested in. I figured I’d show it to you since it happens to be along the way.”

The rock wall slammed shut behind them with a tremendous crash. Rarity knocked her head against something, which caused her to stagger back. Discord stopped short of bumping into what had collided with her. There was nothing in front of them but the rest of the tunnel.

“We’ve reached the barrier,” Discord said. “How thorough. They really wanted to make sure nobody ever peered behind the curtain.”

“Why? Is this place actually dangerous?” Rarity asked.

“My dear, where in the world is one truly safe?”

“Good point.”

A blue, translucent wall materialized in front of them. Discord put his lion paw to his chin as a plethora of intertwined arcane symbols formed on the barrier. It was all part of the puzzle to get through the magical wall. Beyond that, Rarity knew nothing.

“Goodness!” Discord exclaimed. “They really should have used something a bit stronger.”

“You weren’t in mind when this was put into place,” Rarity said.

“True.”

Using his eagle claw, he poked the barrier in a specific spot, leaving behind a white orb. He touched three more spots, forming the shape of a square. Once finished, he stepped back. The orbs connected themselves and an opening appeared in the barrier.

“Easy enough,” Discord said as he stepped through the opening, gesturing for Rarity to follow.

Chapter 3

The barrier sealed itself automatically once they were on the other side.

“What we’re looking for is around here somewhere,” Discord said. He stopped moving. “As a matter of fact, there it is now. To your left, Rarity.”

She gazed into a large hole covered in white webbing. Her heart started beating so hard her molars shook. Rarity looked down at the ground and discovered she stood a mere inch away from more webbing.

“Shall we see if anyone is home?” Discord stepped on the web.

Rarity had no time to ask if she had a choice. A noise like dry leaves scratching across each other in an autumn breeze came from the hole. Then the cave tarantula appeared. In addition to being grey and very hairy, it sported fangs that were nearly the size of her body. Thankfully, it wasn’t after her. The tarantula came within half a second of striking Discord when he paralyzed it with his magic, leaving it completely at his mercy. He flicked the fang poised to bite him and his opponent turned into a chicken. The chicken managed two steps in its new body before it laid an egg and fell over, shaking violently.

“Stay out here and keep Many Legs company while I check to see how clean her burrow is before we start harvesting her silk,” Discord said. “By the way, you’re welcome. What a good friend you are, Discord.”

Rarity looked away from the spasming chicken and at Discord as he headed into the burrow. “Yes, this is awfully generous of you. I could actually make good use out of that silk, so long as it’s clean.”

“How clean are we talking here?” Discord asked.

“What do you think? Would you want to wear a cardigan made from something one of your own kind had met their end in?”

“So long as you’ll give me a good discount for it.”

The sound of a vacuum hose having difficulty sucking something up came from the deep burrow.

Discord emerged with a metal rod slung across one shoulder. At the end of the rod was a giant wad of spider silk. “I didn’t find anything distressing in that hole. The webbing is fresh. She must have just started, which explains why this area isn’t covered in it. If my math is correct, which it always is, this should be enough spider silk to make two dresses with. Use it wisely.”

The silk presented her with a unique opportunity for Rain’s dress. Rarity had only worked with it once before, having bought it a spindle at a time until she’d gathered enough material available to pop out a scarf, which she had kept for herself. It was still one of her favorites. Sporting an entire wedding dress made from spider silk would be extravagant. Unheard of. Heads would turn. Photos would be taken. Rain and all her friends would become regulars at her shop.

“I’ll put this where it won’t get lost.” Discord dropped the saddlebag he had been carrying, opened it, and stuffed the rod into it.

“Are you going to restore this hen to her original form?” Rarity asked.

Discord chuckled. “This presents us with an interesting moral dilemma, doesn’t it? Turning that hen back into a spider would be the right thing to do. We feel that way, but whatever it catches in the future certainly won’t.”

Rarity used her aura to help the hen stand on its feet. Once she released her hold on the hen, it fell over again.

“Do you know how many ponies go missing every year in national parks?” Discord asked. “While some of these disappearances can indeed be attributed to supernatural hijinks, most of them are due to more practical reasons. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge. How about I give it to Fluttershy and tell her it’s a rescued animal?”

“Will it adapt to its new body?” Rarity asked.

“Certainly. She won’t just stop eating food. She isn’t sick.”

“Are you expecting me to make this decision?”

“I am. No answer is right. They each have their own consequences. Choose wisely.”

Rarity sighed. “Give Many Legs and her egg to Fluttershy, then.”

“Her name is Doodle. I’ll carry her in my own bag.”

A portal appeared above Doodle without warning. A purple vine covered in thorns snatched Doodle and the egg from the ground and pulled them inside wherever it was Discord kept most of his stuff. He started walking down the tunnel. Rarity followed him.

“The original tunnel leading down into the spot rife with celevite suffered a cave-in about ten years ago,” Discord said. “To get there quickly, we need to be at the precise spot we will reach by the time I’ve finished this sentence.”

A slope leading down into the darkness appeared in front of Rarity. She was sliding down it and gaining speed before she had enough time to realize what had just happened. Discord had gotten rid of her caving gear as well. The slide stretched on farther than she could see. Discord was handling the cave as if it were clay and had been thoughtful enough to suppress the noise generated by his work. All Rarity could hear was her hoofs sliding down the smooth limestone floor and the wind blowing through her ears, which was preferable to the deafening noise earthquakes made.

“Rarity, stalactite! Lean right!” Discord shouted.

A stalagmitemuch taller and wider than her was coming up fast. Rarity bit down on her tongue and leaned to the right. She was covered in Discord’s magic, which helped her maintain balance and made her feel even dirtier. The stalagmite sailed passed her with a whoosh that tore through her mane. Had she not dodged the obstacle that Discord clearly could have taken away, she would have been going home in a mayonnaise jar. Rarity caught herself before she slid into the wall and looked over at Discord, who was on a snowboard and dressed appropriately for the activity.

“Are you trying to get me killed?” Rarity demanded.

Discord laughed at her. She would remember this day when her frown lines were out in full force.

“Here comes the loop,” Discord said. “Bend your knees.”

Refusing to follow his instructions and demanding to be let off the wild ride would get her nowhere. Betraying his expectations could also result in a horrific injury, so Rarity did some bending as the narrow loop came into view. Discord slid in next to her, knelt, and wrapped his lion paw around her body. She knew screaming would tickle him pink, so she kept her mouth shut.

By some miracle, nothing bad happened and they cleared the loop.

“Do you know how many ponies are seriously injured each year because they were goofing around with magic?” Rarity demanded.

“But I’m not a pony,” Discord replied.

“That is beside the point!”

“Here comes the jump!”

An unavoidable ramp was ahead of them. She searched for something to grab and could only come up with Discord’s body. It would have to do.

The impending calamity triggered the memory of something Twilight had said to her. I know you’re busy, Rarity, but I think it’s something you should consider looking into. You’re capable of more than just basic magic. I’d be happy to mentor you myself, if it’d make you feel more comfortable.

Rarity didn’t see anything ahead of them when they hit the ramp. She wrapped herself around Discord and clung to him for dear life, popping his back. His musk was overpowering. She held her breath and turned her head to the side so her face wasn’t buried in his fur. Discord fell straight down. The pit they had dove into was deep enough to help them achieve terminal velocity.

Then they weren’t in a pit. They were in a classy elevator. “Candelabrum” by Songbird Serenade was playing through a hidden speaker. Rarity spotted two mirrors on either side, a poster advertising Kittens signed by Mazurka Waltz and another poster promoting the Blue Stallion Troupe. The sound of the gong drew her attention to the numeric display above the doors. Hoopla Hoopla was engraved beneath it.

Rarity used her magic to open an emergency access panel beneath the floor buttons. A phone was inside. “Your attention to detail is commendable.”

“I take pride in my work,” Discord said.

B3 was their currently selected floor and they were coming up on it fast.

Rarity looked at the poster of Kittens. It was from a few months ago. “When did you stay at Hoopla Hoopla?”

“I went while you fillies were thwarting Glim Glam’s social experiment.”

“What’s your game? Roulette?”

“That’s a good one, but I enjoy being asked to leave blackjack tables a lot more. What about you?”

She smiled. “Point me in the direction of the baccarat table, please.”

A pleasant chime ended their conversation. The elevator door slid open, revealing nothing but darkness.

Discord used his eagle talon to pry out a button from the selection panel. “Need a light?”

The button morphed into a ball of fire that Discord flicked into the cavern beyond the door. It found its way to the ceiling and illuminated an entire chamber rich with celevite.

Rarity stepped out of the elevator and gaped at the display in awe. She had expected to see the gemstone, but not in such a vast quantity. “How marvelous!”

Celevite was almost the same color as Twilight’s coat. It could easily be confused for several other gemstones. Just to be sure, Rarity scooped a stray pebble into her hoof and cast an identification spell on it. Doubt evaporated. Certainty flooded in. Trusting Discord would have saved some energy.

The unnatural obstacle course Discord had created would lead determined miners lacking arachnophobia directly to the chamber Rarity now stood in. She turned around and looked at the ceiling, searching for the elevator shaft Discord had constructed. There wasn’t one. The cave had rebuilt itself. Nothing Discord had done had been permanent. In some odd way, it was comforting.

A pick-ax was embedded into the floor in front of her. Rarity grabbed it with her aura. The orange saddlebag from earlier fell to the ground next to her with the Wriggler button pinned to it. She turned around to find Discord resting in an egg chair that hung suspended from the ceiling by a chain made of the material they were after.

“Start digging,” Discord said. “You’ll want at least two pounds of ore. I’ll let you know when you’ve gathered that much.”

Rarity gave him a grin. Using her magic, she scanned everything within her range looking for something that didn’t take long to find. She approached the wall containing the flaw she uncovered. The spot was up higher than she could reach. She levitated her pick-ax to the weak point and gave it a light tap. The whole wall came crumbling down beside her. She spotted two large chunks of celevite that weighed more than the amount Discord had suggested. Rarity held her head high and looked at Discord expectantly.

Discord held a bag of popcorn kernels in his lion paw. He swallowed some of them. “Color me surprised. You can’t teleport, but you can do that.” The kernels popped inside his stomach. “Did you find that spell difficult to learn?”

“No. I wanted to be in and out of mines as fast as I could. All this darkness isn’t good for your skin.”

The two chunks of celevite fit into the bottomless bag, causing a strange reaction to occur. All the items hovered above the void, but they were much smaller. About the size of stamps. She needed to see if she understood how it functioned. Rarity reached into the bag, intending to grab the mirror. It came out. She happened to catch her reflection and noticed she resembled a mare at the end of a horror-themed play. Rarity put the mirror back and grabbed the rod with the spider silk attached to it. She pulled it out halfway before she concluded she knew how to get items out of the bag.

Rarity put her saddlebag on. “Well? Is that two pounds or do I need more?”

“You have what we came here for.” Discord stepped out of his chair. “Shall we go home?”

Rarity scoffed. “Do you really have to ask?”

Pebbles vibrated on the cave floor as Discord gathered his power. Rarity took a step closer to him to lessen the energy required to use the spell. He offered her his lion paw. Her face scrunched up so hard that her upper lip blocked her nostrils.

Holding his paw would be the safe thing to do. Rarity gave him her hoof. “Don’t get any funny ideas. I’m only doing this to increase the odds of a successful cast.”

Discord gave her a wink. “Sure thing, sugar booger.”

If she ignored his insincere advances, he might quit the moment they stopped making her skin crawl, which wouldn’t be for quite some time.

Rarity flicked her tattered mane back in an admirably desperate attempt to display pride. “You know, you really should show this side of yourself to Fluttershy more often. I’m sure she’d find it positively refreshing.”

Discord leaned in and gave her a smile that showed all his teeth. “I’m getting there.”

A rumbling noise filled the cave as the power needed to make the jump back to Ponyville reached its peak. The hair on Rarity’s coat stood on end. Discord snapped the talons of his eagle claw together. As usual, a bright flash accompanied the beginning of the spell, which finished in an instant. They didn’t pop out on the other side at their intended destination. Instead, Rarity saw only a road of silver energy in a space where nothing else existed. Enough light radiated from the narrow road to allow them to see each other.

Rarity tore her hoof away from Discord. “What happened?”

Discord looked troubled. “I think it’s obvious. The spell failed. Like I said before, it’s been a while since I’ve had to use this much power. I’m out of shape. Peace has made me weak. I’ll check to see how bad everything is.”

A pentagram appeared in front of him. There was a way to read the symbols in the circle. Unicorns learned how to do so in elementary school. She had many memories of school, but few of them highlighted what she had learned.

Discord pointed to a symbol in the pentagram. “There’s the problem. Insufficient energy. That doesn’t seem right, does it?”

“It could be. Maybe if you hadn’t turned that cave into an amusement park we wouldn’t be in this predicament.”

“Come, now. This could have easily been much worse. The road we’re on is connected to our destination. We’ll just have to get there the old-fashioned way.”

“By walking? Are you serious? How long will that take?”

“Longer than you think. Don’t panic, though. Time works differently here. A day in here is only an hour in the real world.” Discord walked down the silver road.

Rarity followed him, but kept her distance. “This is preposterous. How could someone like you fail a spell?”

Discord turned around to face her, causing her to stop in her tracks. “Even I am not immune to the consequences of goofing around with magic. If anything, you should be happy. After all, you were right. I’d suggest you pipe down and chew on that for a while since we have a long walk ahead of us.”

“There’s nothing you can do to make this any easier?”

“Not a single thing. Magic won’t work in here. Don’t try to prove me wrong. The consequences could be dire.”

Rarity refused to accept what was happening. She scrambled for an explanation. “Wait a minute. Teleportation does not fail like this. I distinctly remember Twilight saying all sense of time stops for the caster if they make a mistake.”

Discord spoke without looking at her. “Yes, that’s one thing that might happen if the spell fails. Spells can fail in several ways. Some are more common than others. Also, I wasn’t using that weak formula you ponies use. I have my own way of performing teleportation and this happens to be how it fails.”

He had to be lying. There was no way he’d admit to a mistake so readily. She decided to call his bluff. If she didn’t, she would wind up walking all the way back to Ponyville. Rarity summoned her magic since Discord was bound by his oath to save her if any dire consequences were to occur. She used her aura to grab a small chunk of celevite out of her saddle bag and tossed it at Discord’s back with all the force she could muster. Discord spun around and caught it with a catcher’s mitt that suddenly appeared over his lion paw. Smoke spewed out of the folds of the glove.

Discord’s grin spread across his face slowly. “You know, Rarity, I think we complement each other better than most creatures would imagine. Don’t you agree?”

“You have ten seconds to get me out of here before I start screaming.”

Two ear plugs materialized above Discord’s head and inserted themselves into his ears. “Purr for me.”

She was about to tear the plugs out of his ears with her aura when the sound of a horn honking off to her right caught her attention. She looked and saw nothing. When she returned her gaze to the path ahead, a door had appeared ahead of Discord. He opened it for her, stepping off the narrow road and hovering over nothing. Rarity could see Applejack’s hat on the other side. For whatever reason, Rarity was looking down on her. From above.

“Does this dress make my rump look big?” some mare asked.

“If you’re worried about that, you might want to try a different outfit,” Applejack replied.

Smooth.

“Applejack, it’s Rarity. I need you to move out of the way. I’m coming through.”

Applejack looked up and gasped. “Rarity, is that you? What has Discord done to you?”

Rarity expected to land on her face the moment she walked through the door, but Discord adjusted it at the last second so that her head popped out of the floor. Rarity pulled herself up onto the floor of her shop. Her only customer came out of the changing room. It was Misty Aqua, a loyal patron from out of town who had been working very hard on getting her coltfriend to propose to her. Misty did a double take upon seeing Rarity.

“Do you like that dress, Misty?” Rarity asked.

Misty extended an arm and admired the sleeve covering it. “I do. This one is a whole lot better. What do you think, Applejack?”

“I’d say you have a lot less to be concerned about in that one if your rump bothers you that much.”

Misty had an infectious smile. Rarity levitated an elegant red box with a white bow out from behind the cash register counter and dropped it in front of Misty.

“You can have it for free,” Rarity said.

Misty’s eyes lit up. “Wow, how generous of you!”

Applejack stifled a laugh. Rarity ignored it and stuck a sign to the front window declaring the store was closed for the remainder of the day.

“Think nothing of it. I’d like to politely ask you to leave, if you don’t mind. I’ve got some urgent matters to attend to.”

Misty flipped the box into the air with a hoof. It landed on her head and remained perfectly balanced. “No problem! Thanks a million, Rarity.”

Applejack leaned in. “That bad, huh?”

The front door opened, nearly hitting Misty in the face. Discord stepped in and forced Misty out with a telekinetic push.

Misty could not help but exclaim in glee while in the grip of Discord’s magic. “Whee!”

Discord had the swab of spider silk slung over one shoulder. He lowered it over Applejack’s hat and pulled it off her head. Applejack clicked her tongue, reared up, and snatched her hat from the silk.

Applejack dusted off her hat. “What is that gunk?”

“Spider silk,” Rarity replied.

“No kiddin’?”

Discord lowered the spider silk over Applejack’s mouth to keep her quiet. “Are we still on for tomorrow then, Rarity?”

Spike deserved the gem they would make. When all of this was over, she could look back on it and laugh. Perhaps fate would no longer pick on her after she finished surviving the obstacle courses Discord had in store for her. She would retire from adventuring and spend the rest of her days making dresses and eating chocolate. Maybe she would get a set of wings, too.

Rarity wanted nothing more than to call the whole thing off, but she couldn’t. There were only two more ingredients left to gather. Spike would be so happy. She had to keep going.

“I don’t suppose you would be willing to tell me what I can expect, would you?”

“More fun than you could possibly imagine. What else?”

Applejack started bucking wildly to break free from the spider silk.

“I’ll go to bed an hour early,” Rarity said.

“A wise choice.”

Discord allowed Applejack to break free from the bundle of spider silk. She rolled backwards into one of the dressing rooms. Applejack appeared a moment later, dressed in an outfit Rarity had designed specifically for racquetball.

Applejack tore off her headband and threw it on the ground. “Sometimes I wish you would go evil again just so I could take you down a notch.”

“Please. Only in your dreams, Applejack. I’ll let Luna know,” Discord said.

Applejack’s face started turning red. She even snorted.

“What?” Discord asked. “I was offering to do you a favor. You wouldn’t be able to defeat me by yourself. It took all six of you to take me down last time, remember?”

Rarity needed to defuse the situation. She’d had enough excitement for the day. “You’ll have to excuse him, Applejack. He’s in a bit of a mood today. Why don’t you join me on a trip to the spa? It will be my treat. I really need to get my mane and coat cleansed. A massage wouldn’t hurt either.”

“You’re not going to play with your silk?” Discord asked.

“I’ll have plenty of time to do that later.”

A plastic jug appeared over the spider silk to keep it from sticking to something. Discord set it down on the floor. “Don’t spend too much money at the spa, Rarity.”

“And just what exactly is that supposed to mean?”

“Hmm. I wonder? Remember, ten in the morning. Same time, same place.”

Discord turned to show them his side. He turned again, but vanished from the room.

“Ahh, yes,” Rarity said. “The old 2D trick. That’s not played out in the least, is it, Applejack?”

“You know how you can get seasick on a boat and airsick on an airship? I think you can get random sick by bein’ around him too much.”

“I agree completely.”

Now that Applejack had mentioned it, they could say the same thing about Pinkie Pie. Though Discord and Pinkie Pie couldn’t define restraint to save their lives, Pinkie’s randomness had the notable advantage of always being in good taste.

“I guess you got the celevite?” Applejack asked, to which she received a nod from Rarity. “I’d like to see it.”

Rarity levitated a large chunk of the rock in front of Applejack, who didn’t look impressed.

“You sure that ain’t just charoite?”

“Beyond a shadow of a doubt.”

“I guess I was expectin’ somethin’ a lot fancier. You had better lock that up in your safe. Dragons can’t smell that stuff, can they?”

“They can, but I doubt he would know what it is. I’ll just have to tell him I’m too busy and I don’t need any help if he stops by to keep him out of the store. Anyway, are you ready to get pampered?”

“I think I’ll have more fun watchin’ them fix you up. You look like a steer that fell into a ditch while tryin’ to outrun a thunderstorm.”

Rarity’s smile couldn’t have been tighter. “Oh, Applejack. You always know just what to say.”

Chapter 4

Rarity involuntarily placed her hoof on the edge of her bed and pulled. The sensation that followed resembled breaking out of a bundle of heavy blankets. She landed on her horn, but didn’t feel any pain from the collision. All at once, she was completely alert. She had just entered a lucid dream.

For some reason, she was in Twilight’s bed. Enough light was present to make out her surroundings, but it didn’t have a source. To confirm she wasn’t awake, Rarity raided Twilight’s bedside bookshelf. Three novels collapsed out of place as she pulled out her prize. The book hit the floor with a resounding thud. She opened it to a random page and looked at the words. They kept changing as she watched them. Definitely a dream.

“Rarity. . .why would you do this to me?”

The voice belonged to Spike. He sounded significantly distressed. She felt overwhelmed by the urge to discover what was wrong. Her subconscious could be trying to warn her about something. Dreams that began in darkness typically didn’t end well in her experience. If it got too scary, she could escape into reality simply by jerking her head to the right.

Rarity entered the hallway and found it in the same state of illumination the bedroom had been in. Spike’s groans drifted through the Castle of Friendship. She knew they were coming from the kitchen. Rarity made her way to the stairwell without any spooks. They were coming, though.

The head and upper body of a pony emerged from the wall and tried to grab her. She was ready for it and darted out of the way, nearly waking up from the shock of the encounter. The pony almost looked like Clay Mud, but several of his features were drawn from other ponies she had met in the past. Still, the feeling the presence of the mass exhumed was that of Clay Mud, so dream logic dictated it was in fact him.

“The dress!” the thing hissed. “Where is the dress for my precious granddaughter? I will ruin you! You will lose everything you have worked so hard for! You’ll have to move back in with your parents and bake doughnuts at four in the morning with Pinkie Pie for the rest of your life!”

She recognized most of its diatribe, which had come from a client who had once argued with her over how she had stitched the bonnet they commissioned. Rarity held out a hoof and thought of a specific object. She felt weight of the item in her hoof before what she intended to conjure finally appeared. Rarity held a large, pink sock. She stuffed it in the mouth of the wall creature and walked past it, flicking her tail in its face as she continued towards the kitchen.

The dancing light an oil lamp produced was visible through the doorway leading into her goal. A lengthy groan of pain accompanied her entrance into the kitchen. She found Spike on the floor with his back up against the island. A pool of dark, sparkling fluid that reminded her of Luna’s mane had formed around him. She traced the pool to the waterfall leaking down the side of the island. A large piece of charcoal in the shape of a heart sat on top of it. The swirling galaxy that should have been inside of it had spilled out of the bite Spike had taken, leaving behind a milky mess.

Spike gripped his belly in his claws. It had become enlarged to an exaggerated degree from the amount of gas in his stomach. He looked up at her. His eyes were blue instead of green, a glaring error so obvious she would have become lucid the moment she noticed it if she hadn’t been already.

It took a great deal of effort for Spike to speak. “Rarity. Does this have moonstone in it?”

She nodded.

Spike’s head fell in disappointment. “I knew it. I can’t have moonstone. It wrecks my gut.”

He convulsed, slamming the back of his head against the island. Spike’s eyes went wide and his head twisted in her direction. He held up a claw, urging her to back away as his cheeks began to expand from whatever had filled up in his mouth. Spike let out a belch that shattered all the windows in the castle. A giant ball of orange flame engulfed the entire kitchen.

Rarity dove to safety. None of the flames had stuck. At least, that was her initial impression. Then she smelled something that reminded her of the first time she had used a curling iron. Rarity needed to put out the fire. Opal uttered a battle cry fit for a bloody massacre. Rarity stopped trying to kick off the blanket covering her and quit swatting at the imaginary fire incinerating her mane. This marked the second time she had been ejected into reality struggling to protect herself from her pillows.

She sat up in bed and felt her mane fall against her back in a tussled bundle. Rarity looked for Opal and came across her sleep mask first. It had almost managed to make it to the other side of the room. Opal stood close to the door leading into the bedroom, prone to attack with the hair on her back all the way up. The look on Opal’s face could cause a star to collapse in on itself.

“Oh, Opal, I’m so sorry,” Rarity said. “I had the most dreadful dream. It’s safe for you to come back to bed.” She gave the spot next to her a pat.

Opal responded with a hiss Rarity would never forget and ran into the hallway, abandoning the comfort of the cat bed in search of some other spot to spend the remainder of the evening. Alone beneath her blanket, Rarity reached for the alarm on her bedside table. The bell inside the device chimed weakly as she lifted it off its face and sat it upright. Half-past six. Thirty minutes of sleep were all that remained. Rarity couldn’t imagine getting back to sleep in time. The nightmare had left its mark. She needed to get up and walk if off before her day officially began.

Her mind drifted to her nightmare as her coffee brewed and she prepared breakfast. She had yet to ask Spike what gave him indigestion since there hadn’t been an appropriate moment to do so. It wouldn’t have done her any good. Spike had never tried any of the ingredients in the snack she would be baking. What of allergies? Her dream had failed to account for them. Discord would know more. She would be sure to ask him.

After finishing breakfast, she entered the lobby of her store. The pole holding the wad of spider silk was knocked over. Opal. At least the protective cover hadn’t been torn off. Rarity grabbed the pole with her aura and headed for the room reserved for the wedding dress. She removed the silk from the end of the pole using magic and placed the lump inside a large wooden bucket. It was almost time to begin creating.

Rarity had learned long ago that putting on her makeup helped coax her muse out of hiding. It was one of her best kept secrets. Revealing it to anyone else would cause her to lose it. Eyes were of the upmost importance. They locked the stallion, or client, in. Beauty might fade, but the eyes were portals into the soul and could always be used to a mare’s advantage. She sat in front of her station located inside the bathroom attached to her bedroom and retrieved a bottle of eyeliner with the help of her magic.

Her alarm shrieked to life, begging to be shut off. Rarity flinched. The pencil in her eyelid ran into her caruncle, got scared, and dashed off the side of her cheek. A trail that reminded her of a crow’s leg had been left on her face. Rarity capped her eyeliner and set it down on the table gently as her alarm continued throwing a tantrum.

A smile spread across her face.

It was going to be one of those days.

~ ~ ~

The bad omen she believed she had received didn’t interfere with her first real session with Rain’s wedding dress, which went surprisingly well. She blazed through it without stopping to second guess herself once. If she happened to be lucky enough to have two more sessions of ceaseless creativity, the dress would be finished ahead of schedule. It was a gorgeous dress, even at such an early stage in its development. Her audience would want to know how she had managed to make something so beautiful. Rarity made sure to keep notes. Many of them contained optional puns, which would help make her the center of attention at any party where the water was fifty bits a glass.

The bell at her front door chimed. She glanced up at the clock. Thirty minutes remained until Discord would arrive. Time had gone by unnoticed, especially since the morning had been slow, which had given her plenty of extra time to work on the wedding dress. Rarity didn’t bother to find a stopping point. She dropped everything and exited the room, being sure to lock the door on her way out.

Rarity found Applejack inspecting the new arrangement of her items for sale in the lobby. What had gone unnoticed yesterday might now have a chance to shine.

Applejack stepped away from the hoodies to stand in front of Rarity. “Mornin’. How’s business?”

“There hasn’t been any. I’ve been working on my commission since I opened.”

“That and any leftover silk you have should cover this slump.”

“I’m not worried about it. Besides, winter is nearly here and I’ll have an exclusive new line out.”

Applejack stepped behind the counter. “Are you ready for your day with Discord?”

“As I’ll ever be. I can’t imagine what he has in mind for today.”

“Probably some other kinda test. Yesterday, in the cave? That was physical. Today might be mental. Or somethin’.”

“I hope you’re right. If you are, then that means I’ve gotten the sweaty part out of the way.”

Applejack chuckled. “You’ll be sweatin’ up a storm when you cut those gemstones.”

“Yes, but I’m expecting that, so by the time it happens, I’ll be ready. That reminds me. I haven’t written Karat yet. I had better go do that now before I forget.”

Applejack checked to make sure the documents Rarity had mentioned yesterday were still in the same place. “Who’s Karat?”

“An old colleague of mine. He’s a master jeweler who runs a shop in Trottingham. I took an internship at his shop shortly after finishing my schooling. It was part of a year I spent learning from the best. I cut gems with him for a little while.”

“Ain’t he the stallion you’re supposed to go to if you want an engagement ring? Charges a small fortune?”

Rarity chuckled. “No mare has ever refused a proposal from any stallion who purchased a ring at his shop, so I’d say what he charges is worth every bit.”

“You got one of his catalogues?”

“I do. I’ll have to find it, though. I’ll be sure to have it ready for you tomorrow.”

“Thanks.” Applejack waved her off. “Go write that letter before trouble gets here. I’ll hold down the fort.”

Rarity’s office was in a room next to the lobby. Filing cabinets, notebooks, two large whiteboards, boxes, and a stack of ledgers that had grown taller than her kept her cocobolo desk and chair from getting lonely. She selected an envelope and a piece of stationary from the many she had available.

There was an art to writing letters. A warm note from an old friend didn’t need to be scrawled on an ivory white sheet of paper and folded up until it fit in the same kind of envelope she used to send out her bills. The fountain pen and type of ink used also helped convey more meaning than a typewriter could ever hope to produce.

Since the letter needed to get to Karat in the next two days, she retrieved two priority express stamps from a drawer in her desk. They bore the cutie mark of Rainbow Dash. She warmed up her most elegant cursive on a scrap piece of paper, addressed the envelope to Karat’s shop in Trottingham, and moved on to the letter.

Karat,

I know this is rather sudden, but I am in need of your resources for half a day.

I’m making a special gem for a friend of mine. It’s for his birthday, which is less than a week away.

Discord, otherwise known as the Lord of Chaos, will be in my company when I arrive. I realize that may seem alarming, but he will behave so long as I am there to supervise him. Contrary to popular belief, he can be tolerable, but only once you get to know him.

We will be using the station you have set aside for unicorns.

I intend to arrive shortly after ten in the morning two days from the date this letter is posted.

I have enclosed an express stamp you may use to send me your reply as soon as possible.

We might have some time to chat over coffee if you aren’t too busy once I have finished creating the gem.

Fashionably yours,

Rarity

She gave the letter a touch of perfume from a bottle containing a combination of eucalyptus and spearmint that was purported to relieve stress. Rarity smelled bananas. She sprayed her hoof. Eucalyptus and spearmint. Rarity bent over the paper on her desk and inhaled. Bananas. Furthermore, something strange had happened to her letter.

Karat!

Alas, I was a fool. If I had known leaving you would have caused me to gain thirty pounds by eating the most expensive chocolate I could afford, we’d be married by now.

Do you have any idea know how many poems I’ve written about you? My friends and family assure me they are all equally lovely, but the compilation I self-published has sold less than ten copies. Would you be willing to accept one for free and tell me what you think? I’d love to give it to you in person. I’ll be sure to autograph it.

Please take me back. It wasn’t you. It was all me and I can no longer bear the curse of my ignorance. Our children shall not make the mistakes I have made.

Always yours,

Rarity

The letter crammed itself into the envelope, which began folding into itself until Rarity could no longer see it. A quick glance at the clock revealed that it was five passed ten.

“Discord, you’re late,” Rarity said.

Her desk rattled. The drawer containing her stamps slid open. Each one had a picture of Discord sticking his tongue out at her. A lion paw came down hard on her shoulder, almost causing her to jump through the ceiling.

Discord chuckled at her reaction. “Gotcha.”

He dropped the stamped envelope on the desk in front of her. It no longer smelled like fruit. Rarity checked the letter to confirm it hadn’t been altered.

“Karat and I never dated,” Rarity said.

Discord extended his eagle claw in front of her snout. “Here’s how much I care.” He snapped his talons. Before withdrawing his claw, he made sure to boop her.

Rarity rubbed her snout. “Incorrigible as ever, I see. Let’s talk in the parlor.”

“I think I liked your bedroom better.”

She cocked an eyebrow. “As you wish.”

Rarity grabbed the letter with her aura and left her office.

Applejack had been smiling to herself over a pleasant thought until she spotted Discord. Her eyes narrowed. “Discord.”

Discord tipped an imaginary hat to her. “A-J.”

Rarity dropped the envelope on the counter and slid it over to Applejack with the use of her magic. “Please make sure to send this out in the mail for me while I’m away.”

Without taking her glare off Discord, Applejack grabbed the envelope and put it underneath the counter.

Rarity took the lead and headed upstairs. “What are we after today, Discord?”

“Lunatoite.”

“How exotic. I believe lunatoite is even less common than celevite.”

“Are you attempting to make a point?”

She stopped at the top of the stairs. “I had an awful dream last night that has me worried. Spike has never had any of these snacks before. What if it’s too much for his stomach?”

Discord paused to consider her question. “Did Luna send you this dream?”

“No. It ended poorly.”

“Then we’ll deal with it if it happens. Unless you want to quit.”

“I certainly do not want to quit. I just would rather not go through all this trouble for nothing.”

Discord scoffed. “Come now, Rarity. Isn’t it the thought that counts?”

“Impressive, that almost came across as genuine. I can tell you’re more worried about not being able to torture me than you are with Spike’s digestion.”

“If it will make you feel any better, we’ll take a chip out of it and ask him to eat that piece first. Providing he doesn’t lapse into a coma, he can have the rest.”

“I like that idea. I’ll be sure to remember it.”

She entered her bedroom, accompanied by Discord, who leapt into her bed. Now she would have to wash it.

Discord made himself comfortable even though his feet hung over the end of her mattress. “I don’t want to spoil too much of the surprise, but there’s something we need to discuss before we get going. You may want to sit down.”

The chair she used in her bathroom while applying makeup came hopping towards her. Rarity heard someone breathing heavily and realized it was the chair.

“P-p-please. . .sit on me,” the chair begged.

Rarity smiled. “I’m fine, thank you.”

Her chair whimpered and seemed to be on the verge of crying. She would need to buy a new one since she wouldn’t be able to look at it the same way ever again. Rarity found herself forced into the chair by Discord’s magic.

Beneath her rump, the chair sighed in relief. “My purpose. It’s complete.”

“Stop allowing my furniture to talk,” Rarity said.

“Are you sure you don’t want to hear what your bed has to say?” Discord asked.

Rarity managed to keep herself from blushing. “Absolutely.”

“Have it your way. As I was saying. There’s a merchant in a certain town we will be visiting today who is selling lunatoite. He doesn’t say where he gets it. I’m sure you can sympathize with that.”

“I don’t see any problems with that. So long as it’s pure.”

“It would seem he’s a reputable character. Those aren’t my words. It’s the gossip I heard while I was in the pub.”

Because the best information usually came from stallions getting silly off cider. Rarity wasn’t certain. “Well, if he’s as trustworthy as they say, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind me giving his merchandise a closer look before I agreed to purchase it.”

“Indeed. We’ll be needing three pounds. If you would like to do this honestly, it’s going to cost an exorbitant amount. Are you ready to hear the price?”

Her heart started beating a little faster. She gulped and nodded. A loud crash came from the hallway. Rarity turned her head and watched as her safe knocked down the wall to the right of her doorframe. It bounded over to her much like her chair had, tearing up the carpet and damaging the wood flooring underneath it. As it drew near, she could hear it wheezing.

The safe stood in front of Rarity. It cleared its throat as if it wanted to say something. That was the wrong move. It launched into a full-blown coughing fit. Its door opened and closed as it attempted to dislodge something from its nonexistent trachea. The gold bars on the shelves inside the safe fell out, which invigorated it, encouraging it to cough even harder. An entire shelf shot out of the safe and slammed onto the floor. The safe sighed in relief and fell over on its side, door open.

Two hundred and fifty thousand bits. At one point in time, it had seemed like an astronomical number to Rarity. In half a year, she would make all of it back.

None of her silver was in the pile of gold. She would still have some money left over after buying the lunatoite. That didn’t make the matter any easier to accept. Rarity knew she would start shaking the moment the transaction began. It always happened to her when she spent a lot of money at once. Knowing she would still be financially secure wouldn’t prevent it.

“Would you consider this a steal?” Rarity asked.

“Yes. He is practically robbing you,” Discord replied. “However, we don’t have much of a choice. I’d like to cut the scene where both of us run to the credit union because it would be dreadfully boring, so have a look at this.”

Discord snapped his eagle talons together. A document appeared suspended in the air in front of Rarity. It was a promissory note for the amount on the floor. Her signature and the signature of the pony who ran the union were on the note along with the current date. Though completely forged, it appeared entirely legal.

“Will you accept the charges?” Discord asked.

Two hundred and fifty thousand bits. For that, she could open a new store in some locations. She could rent a private island for a month. She could buy another wad of spider silk as big as the one she already had.

Her right foreleg trembled. “That is a lot of money.”

Discord smiled. “Yes, but at the end of the day, it’s only paper.”

He could make this a lot easier for her. Discord knew where gold was hidden. He probably even knew where they could get lunatoite themselves. But that wasn’t a part of his test. Her generosity was. Rarity couldn’t ask him for help with paying for the lunatoite. Suddenly her experience in the cave didn’t seem so bad.

“Fine. I can afford it.”

It was the most expensive gift she had ever purchased. The home remodel she had given to her parents for their wedding anniversary two years ago had been the former champion. It was a good thing that asking how much money was spent on a present was considered rude. Rarity didn’t think she could say the price aloud without feeling faint.

Her room returned to normal without warning. Rarity double checked to make sure her carpet was undamaged. The bedroom wall lacked a gaping hole. If Discord missed a detail, she feared he might not be willing to correct it without the exchange of a favor if asked later.

“I’ve taken the liberty of adding the gold from your private stash to the vault at the credit union,” Discord said. “The deposit will reflect on your account.”

Rarity headed for her bedroom door. “Are you certain that’s all you took from my safe? I’d like to look and make sure every document that’s supposed to be in there actually is before we head out.”

“You worry too much.”

The branches of a bush barged in the moment Rarity opened her door. “What in the. . .”

Rarity stepped out into what should have been her hallway. She made her way through the bushes and found herself about half a mile from a trail. Ponies pulling carts and carrying backpacks stuffed full of goods were traveling to and from the city she would soon enter. A train sounded its horn from somewhere nearby.

Discord had to have teleported them during their conversation. Rarity couldn’t determine at what point the spell had been cast. It had to have been done when she had blinked, but she hadn’t felt anything. It was unheard of. Discord had put a new spin on the spell. And it hadn’t backfired. Rarity felt goosebumps forming underneath her coat. The power and intelligence required to have done such a thing was extraordinary. If she hadn’t seen it for herself, she wouldn’t have believed it.

She leapt back into the bushes in search of Discord, who was probably still in her bed. They went on longer than she remembered. Rarity emerged from the other end. An open field greeted her. The walls of her bedroom were nowhere to be found. Some rabbits stopped frolicking long enough to wave at her. The bushes rustled behind Rarity.

“There’s one other thing I forgot to tell you,” Discord said.

Rarity couldn’t see him at all.

“The last time I was here, I was banned from the town for crashing the local economy. Among other things. I’m going to come with you just to make sure everything goes smoothly, but I have to put on a bit of a disguise first.”

Leaves and branches rustled as a form moved through them. Discord took his time, eager to heighten the suspense.

Twilight Sparkle appeared.

Rarity felt all the color drain from her face.

Twilight smiled, but something was wrong. That kind of smug expression would never cross her face. In an instant, the look of superiority vanished and Twilight’s inviting aura returned.

“Hey, Rarity,” Twilight said. Nothing was wrong with her voice. “I’m so glad we get to go on another adventure together. It’s been too long.”

The smug grin came back in a flash. It wasn’t Twilight. It was Discord. Posing as Twilight. TwiCord. A repulsive trick fit for a Changeling.

“Oh, no, no, no!” Rarity said. “Absolutely not! Forget it!”

TwiCord tilted her head. “Rarity, what’s wrong? Are you feeling alright?”

Rarity’s glare could have leveled an entire city. “Change back this instant!”

TwiCord laughed, dropping her act. “Sorry, Rarity. That’s not happening. I’ll be in this form for the duration of our time together.”

“Discord, have you no shame at all? You have crossed the line. I will not allow you to sully Twilight’s reputation. There are millions of ponies you can choose from.” Rarity held up a hoof. “And before you do anything, don’t even think about picking Celestia, Luna, or Cadance.”

TwiCord inspected her hoof absently. “Who wants to be those three? They’re politicians. For being a princess, Twilight enjoys some unique privileges.”

“I don’t care. Why don’t you turn into Fluttershy instead?”

“Don’t be cruel, Rarity. Fluttershy would be mortified if she heard I did that. Twilight can take a joke like this.”

“That’s nonsense! You don’t want to change into her because you’re afraid you’ll do something stupid and that is the same reason I don’t want you to be Twilight Sparkle. Pick someone else! Here, I’ll pick for you. Be Cheerilee.”

“Sometimes I think Cheerilee doesn’t want to be Cheerilee. I said it once and I will say it again. I am staying in this form. If you would like to test how well I can act like Twilight before we continue, go right ahead. We have plenty of time.”

Rarity had to think of something clever. It was tempting to make the scenario involve Fluttershy or Discord going back to his old tricks again, but those were a bit drab. They weren’t challenging enough. It hit her. There was one way to determine just how well he could emulate Twilight or anyone else. If he passed, she didn’t have anything to worry about.

“Darling, I’ve just met the most handsome stallion. He seemed more interested in meeting you than entertaining me. In fact, he’d like you to come see him right away. You’ll find him at Sparkle Library.”

TwiCord blushed. “Oh, goodness. Right now? Hold on, let me check my schedule.” An agenda overflowing with bookmark tabs appeared in front of TwiCord’s face. “I’m really sorry, but I’ve got way too much to do today and tomorrow I have to give a demonstration over enchanting gems at Celestia’s School of Magic. In fact, it doesn’t look like I’ll be free until late next week. How long is he in town for? Do you know?”

There were so many ways Discord could have chosen to react. It was his chance to embarrass and humiliate Twilight by acting out of character. He hadn’t taken the bait.

Rarity started walking towards the trail. “Come along, Discord.”

“Discord? Who are you talking to, Rarity?” TwiCord asked. “And what about that handsome stallion you mentioned? Could you get his mailing address for me?”

Rarity had no choice but to play along, but she would be certain not to give TwiCord the pleasure of being addressed as Twilight. “Yes, I’ll be sure to do that for you. We should focus on what we came here for, though. The stallion can wait. Weren’t you going to take the lead?”

“Sure, I could do that.”

“Where exactly are we?”

“Neighpal, the port town on the coast along the southern border of Equestria. It’s famous for a wide range of goods you won’t find anywhere else, wild nights, musical theater, and great food.”

Rarity rolled her eyes. Everybody had good food. Only an idiot would say otherwise. Nobody would travel halfway across the country and spend all their vacation in a city where not a single cook couldn’t make pancakes without burning them.

“It almost sounds like you’ve been here before,” Rarity said.

“No, I just read the pamphlet from front to back five times last night.”

Some of the travelers along the road leading to the city stopped to gawk at them as they passed. An alicorn was always a remarkable sight. TwiCord kept her pace brisk in an attempt to avoid having a line of ponies form in front of her waiting for a chance to shake her hoof.

Four guards were stationed at the main entrance into the city. They were in full armor and each wore a saddlebag containing a sleep disc in case they needed to incapacitate someone non-violently. They stood outside a shipping container that had been converted into an office, conversing with each other. A nearby sign featured a portrait of Discord blowing a raspberry with a set of instructions that described him as being only moderately dangerous unless angered and explicitly forbidden from entering the city.

Upon catching a glimpse of TwiCord, the guards ceased doing nothing, formed a neat line, and saluted her. Only Rarity noticed her smile was off. Too much snark.

“At ease, stallions,” TwiCord said. “I see Discord isn’t allowed around here anymore. What did he do?”

One soldier stomped a hoof and stood up straighter. “Ma’am! I shall repeat his crimes in chronological order. Discord made watermelons unmarketable by generating over five thousand of them and refused to dispose of the watermelons he had made. He then evaded arrest, devalued gold by generating too much of it, refused to remove the gold he had generated, magically assaulted eighteen Equestrian soldiers, froze the harbor, and incited a brawl at the Brass Horseshoe.”

“Yikes!” TwiCord said. “How long is he banned for?”

“Permanently,” the soldier replied.

“That seems a little harsh.”

“Not really,” the soldier said. “Princess Celestia signed the decree herself. It’s going to be hard for all of us to forget what happens during an economic meltdown. All the gold had to be declared useless. Celestia sent it away along with the watermelons. She said she cast a spell to get the odor out of the air and while I don’t doubt that she did, it still smells like watermelons in the harbor market.”

“How long ago was this?” Rarity asked.

“Last week,” the soldier replied. He returned his attention to TwiCord. “Ma’am, if I may, I don’t think Princess Celestia’s punishment is harsh enough. I think Discord should be stripped of magic until it is determined he is mentally capable of using it again. It’s what they would do to anyone else who caused that amount of trouble.”

TwiCord pondered the suggestion. “You’re not wrong. I think I know why she let him keep his magic. As I’m sure you’re aware, the princesses are in the business of giving out second chances. Sometimes maybe even three or four. There’s a limit, though. I can promise you of that. If Discord were to come back here knowing he was banned, I think Celestia might punish him by limiting some of his power. I don’t think that would stop him, though. In fact, I think he would come back anyway just to see if he could.”

It was like watching a train come off its tracks and slam into a mountain. The gall. The sheer audacity. Rarity could hardly believe what she was hearing.

The soldier looked worried. “We’ll make sure he doesn’t, ma’am.”

“Good. There should be a unicorn somewhere in your unit who is able to use magic at an intermediate level. Have them replace one of you. Discord will most certainly be wearing a disguise if he comes back here. It might even be of someone famous, like me. Have that unicorn do a scan on anyone acting suspiciously. Use the spell designed to sniff out Changelings.”

He saluted her. “Ma’am! Excellent idea. I’ll do that right this instant.” The soldier turned to a pegasus pony. “Squall, go find Abra Cadabra and have her replace your post.”

“Whatever,” Squall said.

“I’d better get going,” TwiCord said. “It was nice chatting with you, soldier. Keep up the good work.”

“Thank you. I’m glad I got the chance to meet you in person.”

TwiCord gave him a final smile before continuing into the town with Rarity.

Rarity drew in close so only TwiCord could hear her. “You are absolutely unbelievable.”

TwiCord chuckled. “I disagree. Those soldiers found me quite believable.”

Rarity couldn’t argue with that. The soldiers could be forgiven for being so thoroughly fooled. She decided not to pursue the matter. Nobody had gotten hurt and Twilight’s name was still in good standing.

The streets of Neighpal were packed. Ponies of all types were going about their daily business in the presence of creatures from all the other races. A constant dull roar emitted from all their activity. The hustle and bustle reminded Rarity of Manehattan, but that’s where the similarities ended. All the “modern” aesthetic was missing. Aristocrats wouldn’t stand for unpaved roads or the lack of spotless carriages.

They passed through the section of town containing many of the buildings run by the city and moved into a spot offering refreshment and lodging. Doors to restaurants were kept open, filling the street with tantalizing odors. A faint hint of watermelon was underneath them. Music drifted from taverns. This early in the day, many of the notes were on key.

A fountain had been placed in an open area with plenty of public benches. Several kinds of trees from different parts of the world were on display for the citizens and visitors to admire. The ocean-themed banner of the city made with several shades of blue flew proudly on a pole near the fountain. Rarity spotted two reptiles locked in a conversation with each other as they watched a colt toss a single bit into the fountain. Both had red spots on their backs. One was built better than the other.

“Look, Rarity!” TwiCord said. “Salamanders! Fluttershy, Applejack, and I sure ran into plenty of those while we were taking that bug home.”

Subtle levels of passive aggressiveness were noticeable in her tone. Rarity pretended not to have heard her. Their gazes caught the attention of the Salamanders, who were startled to see TwiCord. An important detail from Twilight’s book leapt from the depths of Rarity’s memory to catch her attention. The chief and his son were the only Salamanders with red spots on their backs. They both put a hand to their chest and bowed to TwiCord out of respect for what she had done for them. TwiCord returned the bow in her own manner and kept walking to avoid having to converse with them, which came as a relief to Rarity.

A junction with a signpost was nearby and TwiCord took the path that led to the shopping district. The owner of the shop they were seeking didn’t operate in the harbor market but had likely started out there. He had his own building among the other masons. The roaring she had heard earlier was louder in this area as ponies and other creatures rushed to and from shops.

TwiCord slowed her pace until she was walking alongside Rarity. “You know, I was wondering. You sure are going through a lot of trouble. Just how much do you like Spike?”

Rarity tried to give her a look that would make her back off but failed. She and the actual Twilight had already had this discussion a long time ago. At the very least, it would be interesting to see how well TwiCord could mirror it.

“Well, if you must know, I think of him as a good friend.”

“Aww. Just a friend?”

That hadn’t been a part of the original chat. “Yes. I know he is infatuated with me. As his first crush, it would be a disservice to him if I didn’t reciprocate in some manner. I don’t want him to grow up being afraid to talk to girls because one he really liked while he was young didn’t want anything to do with him.”

“That’s so nice of you. He’s getting older, though. One of these days, he might meet another dragon. How do you think that will go?”

“My experience with dragons is limited, but I hear most of them are brutes. He hasn’t been raised to be competitive. As sad as it is to say, that won’t do him any favors. However, he has proven to be quite courageous when under pressure and if there’s one thing his mentor taught him well, it’s how to be clever, which sometimes can make all the difference in the world. Someone like that is good to have around.”

TwiCord wasn’t convinced. “I don’t know. I think he might need a little extra help.”

“I’d be glad to help him. After meeting the dragon in question, that is. I wouldn’t want him to chase after someone who is just going to use him.”

“Yeah, it would kind of stink if he got involved with someone who took advantage of him, wouldn’t it?”

Another quip. Rarity endured it. For a second. She had something she could fire back at TwiCord. “Well, you’re not wrong. If there’s one thing he needs to improve now before this fabled special someone arrives, it’s how he handles power. He tends to let it go to his head. No matter. I’m sure he’ll grow out of it, unlike a certain friend of ours who shall remain nameless.”

Rarity forced herself to laugh. TwiCord joined in, only her laughter sounded much more natural.

“You shouldn’t talk about yourself that way, Rarity,” TwiCord said. She stopped walking. “Hey, what do you know? Here we are.”

Sandwiched between a clock maker and a barber was a building that could be easily missed. It featured a basement for storage and a second-floor doubling as an apartment like all the other shops on the block. The display window had been kept clean. Rarity could still smell alcohol, indicating it had just been tended to. A variety of items were on display, highlighting everything from a cider mug to a glass sphere cut from obsidian. Each had been thoroughly cleaned and placed on stands with care. A red curtain prevented anyone from seeing inside the shop.

Rarity read the sign above the door. Talbot’s Curios.

“This is a pawn shop,” Rarity said.

“No, it’s more of a general store,” TwiCord said.

“How certain are you of the owner’s reputation?”

The front door opened. A diamond dog with a white coat and golden eyes stood in the entrance with his paw still clutching the doorknob. He wore a red jacket with two black stripes coming down from both shoulders and a purple collar with a gold heart attached to it.

The diamond dog took a quick look at their cutie marks before speaking. “Hello, ponies. I am Talbot and I have many things for magical princess ponies and fancy, prancy gem ponies. Come inside, come inside!”

Talbot went in ahead of them, gesturing wildly for his customers to follow. Rarity knew his type. If he ever had to close his shop, Talbot would wind up selling wagons. His jacket, which looked like it had been commissioned, had to be the most expensive thing he owned aside from his emporium.

“He seems nice,” TwiCord said. “After you, Rarity.”

Chapter 5

Rarity stepped into Talbot’s shop. The noise from outside disappeared the moment the door was closed. Floorboards creaked beneath her. Instead of being covered in dust and smelling like the basement of a library under attack by mold, Rarity was met with a clean store and a pleasant aroma coming from candles that had been placed in each corner. She needed to know what scent was burning and passed a shelf full of candles on her way to the pot in the nearest corner.

Talbot appeared, cutting her off and scooping the candle burning in the unlabeled jar ahead of her. “Fancy pony with luscious mane like?” Talbot inhaled deeply. “Mother’s recipe. Quiet Time. Many in stock. Also available as soap and shampoo. Twenty bits for candle normally, but fifteen for friend of princess pony.”

Bottles clinked together at a different location in the shop. Talbot smiled at Rarity and set the candle down before hurrying away. She followed him, passing a shelf full of toys, another stuffed with blankets, and one full of various tiny statues meant to be placed in gardens. They both found TwiCord with a glass bottle containing a thick, yellow gel gripped in her aura.

“Ahh, princess pony has found Talbot’s herbal recipes. Refreshing and invigorating. Good for whatever may ail you. That bottle is topical analgesic. No matter where you rub it, it always feels better.”

TwiCord set the bottle down. “You’re a jack of all trades, aren’t you?”

“Master of none,” Talbot replied. “Talbot interested in many things. Always making things or collecting things. It is living.”

TwiCord moved towards the counter at the front of Talbot’s shop. He followed eagerly. Rarity noted the aisle that contained candles as she returned to TwiCord’s side. Since she would soon be dropping enough money to make most ponies pass out, she felt she could treat herself to something. Nothing had a price on it. Talbot bargained. He was likely very good at it. Rarity kept her curiosity in check for now.

Talbot’s counter was of the variety found inside a sandwich shop. Five types of hard candy were available, including something that looked a lot like coal. There were three shelves behind the counter, but only one in use, which displayed various spices to be used in pipes. A door leading to Talbot’s private apartment and the basement could also be seen from the counter.

Talbot seemed to sense a good deal about to come his way and relaxed a little in his position of power behind the register. “What interests you, ponies? Why have you come to Talbot’s shop?”

“We’re here to buy lunatoite,” Twilight said. “We heard you have it.”

Rarity’s heart started beating faster. A metallic smell entered her nose. It was time to spend big money.

Talbot chuckled. “But Talbot has already offered princesses his lunatoite. They refused his price.”

TwiCord chuckled with him. “Did you know that if a national emergency was declared, the princesses would be within their rights to seize your lunatoite without paying you to protect Equestria?”

Talbot squinted and scratched at his head. “Uhh. . .no. Talbot did not know that.” He realized something and straightened up. “As if national emergency would ever be declared in Equestria. You and other Elements of Harmony do fine jobs. Talbot grateful for your service, by the way. That truth.”

“Thank you for the compliment. You’re right about all that. However. . .” TwiCord trailed off, causing Talbot to fidget a little. “It would be within my power to issue a decree calling for the forfeit of all lunatoite in order to manufacture better armor and weapons for our military. All I’d have to do is convince two of the other princesses to side with me to gain the right I needed to put it up to a vote. Just so you know, one of them happens to be my sister-in-law. Oh, and Luna always agrees to anything in favor of a stronger military. Swaying public opinion wouldn’t be all that hard. Problems in Equestria have been on the rise as of late.”

She was crushing him. He would be forced to give her a better deal. Rarity didn’t bother stepping in. TwiCord was only bargaining. There was a slight edge to it, but TwiCord hadn’t gone past what Rarity would expect from the real Twilight.

“When, not if, I pass this decree, I won’t just be coming for what you have in stock,” TwiCord said. “I will also make you tell me where you found it. If you want to do things the hard way, that’s your choice. Here’s the easy way. I would like to make you a generous offer for a small amount of your lunatoite right now and I want to encourage you to accept it.”

Talbot nodded eagerly, happy to get out from under the pressure. “Fine, fine. Talbot accept gracefully and with pleasure. What can Talbot do for Princess Sparkle?”

“I will need three pounds of lunatoite. You will get seventy-five thousand bits for it.”

Rarity’s ears flickered. That wasn’t the amount they had agreed on earlier.

Talbot slammed his paws on the counter and leaned forward. “Seventy-five?!” Talbot almost had his face in TwiCord’s. “That almost no more than what diamond would go for in same amount!”

TwiCord raised an eyebrow at him. “And?”

Talbot backed away and folded his arms across his chest. “Be reasonable. Ninety-five thousand.”

“Eighty and not one bit more, Talbot. Take it or leave it.”

Talbot growled and winced in pain. As much as she preferred paying less, Rarity’s heart went out to him. Neither of them knew what effort had gone into finding the lunatoite.

“I can offer you something more, Talbot.” Rarity flicked her mane back with a hoof. “In case you don’t already know who I am, allow me to introduce myself. I’m Rarity, the Element of Generosity and the proprietor of Carousel Boutique. Fashion is my trade, but I think I might have some room on my floor for your lovely candles. My customers would be sure to visit your shop after sampling them.”

Talbot drummed his claws on the counter. “This is what Talbot get for not taking princess Luna’s offer. Live and learn. Fine. It is deal.”

The promissory note from earlier materialized in TwiCord’s aura. She laid it down in front of Talbot. “I will have you write the amount we agreed on in the provided space.”

Talbot tapped the document with a claw. “This check blank! How you get president of bank to sign it?”

“Do you see the part where I cosigned? That’s how,” Twilight replied.

Talbot hesitated. “Could you pay in bits?”

TwiCord used her aura to yank the promissory note into the air. Talbot cried out and grasped for it eagerly as it slipped out of his reach. TwiCord wasn’t going to let him have it.

Talbot opened his cash register, took out the drawer, and retrieved a fountain pen with a bottle of black ink. “Never mind. Talbot also accept checks.”

Released from TwiCord’s aura, the note drifted down to the counter. In less than a minute, five simple digits were on the note. It really was only paper. TwiCord seized the fountain pen with her aura and drew a line after the last digit.

Talbot placed the check beneath the drawer inside his register. “Lunatoite is not on floor. Too expensive. Is in basement. Please allow Talbot a few minutes to get it.”

He left the room through the door behind the counter and closed it behind him.

“Thank you for talking him into giving us a better deal,” Rarity said.

“No problem. That’s what friends are for,” TwiCord said.

Rarity wandered over to the candles and picked up one called Be Sweet. There were four of them. The enhanced aroma of honey and beeswax smelled better than Quiet Time. She hurried to see if he had it in a shampoo and procured the last bottle in stock. Rarity double checked to see if the scents matched. They smelled much better than her trusted brand, Mane Attraction. With any luck, they would be as good to her hair.

TwiCord appeared, eating coal candy from a paper bag. She offered it to Rarity. “Want some?”

Rarity pulled a black chunk of hard candy from the bag with her aura and popped it in her mouth. The intensity of the cinnamon was a little too much for her. Her cheeks caved in and she had to stop herself from drooling. TwiCord snickered.

They were drawn back to the counter by the sound of a door opening and closing.

Talbot placed a burlap sack on the counter. “Here is. Bag of candy for princess is on house.”

“We will need to make sure this is authentic since we are spending quite a bit of money,” TwiCord said. “I hope you don’t mind.”

“Go ahead. Appraisal already done by another unicorn. Talbot never cheat his customers.”

TwiCord set her candy down and emptied the contents of the sack onto the counter. Two chunks of lunatoite fell out. It resembled gold, only the color was lighter. She motioned for Rarity to have a look.

Rarity wrapped her aura around the lunatoite. Never having checked it before, a new composition entered her understanding. Obtaining familiarity with the substance was instantaneous. She could check for the typical signs of a duplication. A portion no larger than a single grain of sand did not match with what she knew was real lunatoite.

It was fake.

Before saying anything, she repeated the procedure on the other chunk and obtained the same result.

Explaining what she had discovered would be awkward, but Rarity had to do it. “Talbot, are you sure you grabbed the right item? This is a copy. It’s a good one, but it isn’t a hundred percent lunatoite.”

Talbot sneered. “What? That not possible.”

TwiCord held out a hoof. “I’m sorry, but I’m going to be needing that note we just gave you.”

“Talbot not liar,” Talbot said, agitated. “Already verified. Real thing. You must have made mistake. We go talk to appraiser. Now. Follow.”

Talbot marched to the door and opened it. His stride didn’t hide his anger. Rarity bit her bottom lip. Perhaps she had indeed cast the spell wrong. It was too late now. TwiCord took the lead and she followed her. The stairs leading down into the basement had been made wide to make moving objects through them more convenient. Talbot’s basement wasn’t finished, but cement had been added to serve as a floor. Electricity was present, providing illumination to all of Talbot’s tools. Rarity spotted a setup geared towards chemistry that Twilight would be jealous of, an alchemist’s station, and a large workbench.

The sound of two creatures giggling up ahead was unexpected. It came from behind a set of privacy curtains at the back of the basement.

“Stop laughing at me!” the voice of a mare demanded.

Her plea made the two creatures cackle even harder. Something about the tone in their voices was off. Talbot froze in place, confused. The malicious chortles had gotten to him as well. TwiCord put a hoof to her lips, motioned for Talbot to say put, and beckoned Rarity to join her as she crept towards the scene unfolding behind the curtains.

“The mages in this realm are so strange,” said a stallion with a voice on the edge of a growl.

“Let’s make sure we have this straight,” a cultured voice said. “You conjured us to assist you in obtaining the means to become an alicorn and you are offering us a tea party in exchange for our services?”

There was a pause.

The mare continued, “This is from master brewer Jasmine Leaf. It’s from her personal collection and---”

Roaring laughter kept the mare from finishing.

“Oh, my sides!” the deeper voice said. “You deserve to be punished for wasting my time, but this is the best laugh I’ve had in recent memory, so I’ll let you off with a warning. If you want even the tiniest hint, your offering must be more substantial, especially since your request involves shapeshifting.”

Rarity and TwiCord took opposite sides of the opening through the curtains without being noticed. TwiCord cautiously peered into the drama occurring behind the curtains. Rarity gulped and followed her example. She saw a bed, cabinet, bookcase and three stacks of books. A fancy wooden table was in the center of the room with three occupants seated at it.

The only recognizable species was the unicorn mare, who had a powder blue mane and a pumpkin orange coat. Her cutie mark displayed a set of grey runes enveloped in a white mist. A thing with an ape shaped face from which several pony legs tipped with hoofs managed to remain balanced on a throne as it sipped tea through a straw from a cup made of sterling silver. Rarity noticed a peculiar sigil had been carved in front of it. Joining it was an owl with unusually long chicken legs. It wore an ornate crown at the top of its head. A different sigil was in front of it.

Rarity went over their conversation. They were conjured and presented with gifts to persuade them to perform some sort of favor for the mare. It hit her. They were demons, which also explained the malicious aura they exuded upon being looked at. Rarity wasn’t too familiar with their kind, but she knew they were not to be bothered. Calling them out of whatever plane of existence they inhabited was highly illegal and came with a slew of severe punishments, which a princess could administer on the spot.

The royal owl continued, “While I can’t speak for my compatriot, I’ll tell you what you’ll need if you’ll give me your soul.”

“I’m not going to do that!” the mare shrieked. “Please. Have mercy. All of this was very expensive. I worked very hard to buy all this because I know both of you deserved the best I could get. Look, I have heard that one of the ingredients for the potion is the wings of a pegasus pony. Is that true?”

“Do you want the answer bad enough to give me your soul?”

“Forget it.” She turned to the other demon. “How about you? What do you want from me?”

“I’ll take the head of your father or the still-beating heart of your brother and a lot more of this Hearth’s Warming Mint. It’s delicious!”

The mare slumped across the table in defeat. “What have I done?”

Rarity heard TwiCord hiss to get her attention. With her head, TwiCord motioned beyond the curtains. It was time to crash the party. Rarity nodded. They both slipped through the curtains simultaneously, drawing a surprised shriek from the mare and friendly waves from the demons.

TwiCord ignored the demons and focused on the mare. “Hi! I’m Princess Twilight Sparkle and you are under arrest. Big time. Talbot, give me her name because I’m not fighting for it.”

“Marigold Wisp,” Talbot said. “Princess, Talbot swear he didn’t know she was up to this or he would have turned her in. She say she study old magic. How could Talbot have known she meant this?”

“This is getting lame,” the demon with the mangled face of an ape said to the royal owl. “Let’s blow this joint.”

“Agreed. Sorry, Marigold. Next time you want to call one of us, follow the instructions to the letter. Don’t just make assumptions. Thanks for the tea and the new furniture.”

Marigold squinted. “The what, now?”

The table, everything on it, and its matching chairs vanished in an eruption of white flame that left no damage behind. Marigold fell on her rear after her seat disappeared and yelped in pain. When she processed that the demons had robbed her, she began crying. Rarity wasn’t sure if she should feel sorry for her. In any case, Marigold should have known better.

“Alright, Marigold,” TwiCord said. “You might have not had much success with those two, but I am willing to cut you a reasonable deal. I know you have lunatoite. You would not have been able to make such a good copy of it without having some of it on hoof. If you give me all of it right now, you will only go without magic for a month.”

Marigold gestured to the cabinet near her bed. “My saddlebags are in there. The lunatoite is in the right pocket.”

TwiCord grinned. “Good. Fetch them for me and put them on the floor. Please don’t try anything funny.”

Still weeping, Marigold limped over to the cabinet. Rarity braced herself. Unicorns never took well to losing their magic. Marigold would fight. Anything could happen. Novices couldn’t summon demons. Marigold was at least an intermediate well on her way to becoming a master.

The cabinet door opened with a squeak. Marigold took out a boring, worn pair of saddlebags that didn’t match her coat. A hole in the bottom left pocket had been sealed using staples. She set the bags down as instructed and waited for TwiCord to say something. The saddlebags settled into themselves as if they were empty.

TwiCord whistled tonelessly. “Impressive. You’ve increased the carrying capacity of your bag by installing a void into it. If you went that far, I bet you also put a hex on the pockets, didn’t you?”

“Princess, I would never---”

“Do you think I was born yesterday? Remove the enchantment or spend the next year without magic. Take your pick.”

Marigold’s horn lit up. A silver aura surrounded the bags for a few seconds before vanishing. Rarity struggled to make sense of TwiCord’s request. If the bag hadn’t been booby trapped before, Marigold might have taken the opportunity she had just been given to set one up.

“Twi---” Rarity caught herself. “Princess, you can’t possibly trust her.”

“I know what I’m doing,” TwiCord approached the bag. “Do I reach inside the left pocket? Maybe the right one? Both at the same time?”

“The right pocket, princess,” Marigold replied.

TwiCord sighed. “I hope you’re a fast runner, Marigold.”

Following Marigold’s instructions, TwiCord placed her hoof on the right pocket and was about to search inside of it when she quickly switched to the other pocket. A blinding explosion erupted from the pocket. Sulfur and smoke filled the air as a deafening barrage of fireworks filled the room. Rarity got down on her belly and put her front hoofs over her head. Her ears were ringing, but she could still hear magic being flung across the room. A chill that burned her skin soared an inch above her back. She curled up, trying to expose as little of her body as possible. Someone collided into something. TwiCord let out a yell.

The fight ended as quickly as it had started. Rarity got off the dusty floor just in time to see Marigold making her way up the stairs at the other end of the room. She had her saddlebags with her. Talbot was a few hoofs to the right of where Rarity had last seen him, encased in a giant block of ice. Under normal circumstances, the expression on his face would have been priceless. TwiCord was nowhere to be seen. Instead, Rarity spotted a giant ball of purple fluff.

“Drat!” TwiCord said, her voice muffled underneath all her hair. “She put a hex on her cabinet and had me bump into it to activate it. She’s clever. I think I like her. Let’s make her the seventh member of our entourage.”

“We’ll have to catch her before we can do that,” Rarity said.

A pair of scissors appeared and ventured into the ball of fluff. “It’s going to take me a few minutes to break this hex. She could be gone by then. Hurry after her, Rarity!”

“And just what do you expect me to do?” Rarity asked. “She’s good with magic. How much of a chance do you think I stand against her?”

Hair began flying everywhere. “She doesn’t have the guts to do anything drastic. The guards should be able to help you. Get going!”

Rarity clicked her tongue and took off for the stairs, noticing that Talbot’s eyes followed her as she left. They could free him later. She took the steps two at a time and sailed through the door into the shop. Rarity burst through the front door, darting into the busy street. Chatting with TwiCord hadn’t been a wise decision. Marigold was gone.

Finding her wouldn’t be impossible. She couldn’t have gotten far. If all else failed, TwiCord wouldn’t have any problems locating the rock she was hiding under, but Rarity didn’t want to rely on her unless she had to. She could fix this problem by thinking like a crook to figure out where Marigold had gone.

Immediately skipping town didn’t seem likely. Marigold would be too exposed out in the open. She would have to expect to be reported to the guards. Eventually, a team of them would be searching for her. Laying low in a tavern wasn’t an option. Unless she acquired a disguise of some sort.

If Rarity were the one practicing forbidden magic, she would bet everything on hiding in the docks. Paying for safe passage on a ship under a bogus name wouldn’t work when the guards had the town on alert unless she could put the captain under a spell. That was too difficult. It would be easier to hide in a container. Cheaters always loved it easier.

Unfortunately, Rarity thought of another possibility. She remembered hearing a train earlier. Marigold could also make her escape by sneaking aboard one of them. It would probably be better than going through the market to get to the docks. Less ponies would see her. Jumping a train was the better option. Rarity didn’t have the faintest idea where to go to get to the station, but she didn’t need to worry about it.

“I need a guard!” Rarity shouted. “Can someone please get me a guard? I’ve been robbed!”

Every pony stopped what they were doing and turned their attention to her. In a society where many of the inhabitants ran their own businesses or knew someone who did, theft was not looked upon favorably.

A pegasus mare in full armor bearing the crest of the town landed in front of Rarity, kicking up dust when she landed. “Swift Vengeance, at your service, Lady Rarity. How may I help?”

“Oh, thank you, Swift. I fear I’ve been had by Marigold Wisp.”

“Never heard of her. Mane, coat, mark?”

“Powder blue, pumpkin, and a set of letters that I believe are Old Ponish.”

Swift grinned. “This shouldn’t be too hard. Would you like to wait at the station?”

“No, I am going to look for her as well. The way I see it, she is in one of two places. The docks or the train station. If you find her, be careful. She’s good with magic and she is acquainted with spells she shouldn’t have access to.”

“Sounds like this will be fun. I’ll get the whole town on alert in a jiffy. Where do you plan on looking?”

Rarity bit her bottom lip. It was a difficult decision. “The train station.”

“Okay. Is this your first time in Neighpal?”

“Yes, but I would assume the station and the harbor are in the same general area.”

“And you would be correct. I saw you and Princess Sparkle at the fountain a little while ago. There’s a big signpost there. You can’t miss it. You’ll be able to make your way to the station from there. If you need help, just ask anyone. Be careful, okay?”

“Likewise, Swift.”

Swift leapt into the air and Rarity galloped back to the fountain. She had no problems making it to the signpost Swift had mentioned. The path she intended to take was opposite the shopping district. So far, so good.

“I can’t believe you sold more ‘n half our zucchini for seaweed!” said a mare who sounded an awful lot like Applejack.

Rarity turned and saw an earth mare and stallion locked in a conversation. The stallion was pulling a cart full of barrels.

“You hush now, Scarlet,” the stallion said. “Once you taste how well it goes with rice, cream cheese ‘n cucumbers, you will hardly want to eat anythin’ else ever again.”

Rarity smirked. The working class was so quaint. She turned and took a single step towards the train station when a chill went down her spine. It couldn’t be. There was no way. She turned around and looked at the back of the cart. The stallion hit a small bump in the road, causing everything in the cart to wiggle. For a split second, Rarity caught sight of a powder blue mane sticking out of a barrel. Whoever was in the barrel shuffled around until their mane was hidden from view.

Rarity didn’t have the faintest idea of what she should do. She wasn’t capable of fighting Marigold. Tailing the cart would be the best option. A guard would eventually see her. If she flailed hard enough, they would know something was wrong. She wished for Swift to appear and glanced at the sky, hoping to catch her.

“Psst!”

Someone was trying to catch her attention. Rarity didn’t dare let her eyes off the cart.

A voice spoke to her in a hurried whisper. “Rarity, it’s me! Twilight! I’m in your saddlebag! Keep trotting. I see you found Marigold. Good work.”

A few ponies who were close enough to hear the whispers coming from her saddlebag stopped what they were doing and stared at her as she kept a reasonable distance from the cart.

“In order to stop her from using magic, you’ll need to get a nullifier around her horn,” TwiCord said, still whispering. “I’ve placed one in your bag. It’s a black ring with a garnet stone. That mare is going to flip out the moment she knows you have one, so try to catch her by surprise.”

Rarity clenched her teeth. “Why can’t you?”

“Because I know you can do this! You just have to believe in yourself!”

There was no sense in arguing any further. She couldn’t expect TwiCord to do most of the work, especially if it wasn’t dangerous. It seemed so easy. Marigold’s head was right beneath the lid of the barrel. If Rarity was quick, she could place the nullifier around Marigold’s horn before Marigold had a chance to retaliate. She was due for some good luck.

Rarity became aware of another problem before she could make her move. The farmers might recognize her. Acting contrary to their expectations would help stall for time. Achieving the desired results required something Rarity was not sure she could give.

Marigold had heard her voice.

Rarity needed to speak like a commoner.

It was for Spike.

Rarity twisted the muscles in her throat, eliminating the dignity of her regular voice. She got ahead of the pair and stood in their way to force them to stop.

“Hello, there!” Rarity said, thoroughly aware of how utterly bizarre she sounded. “You two have great cutie marks!”

The stallion and mare looked at one another and then at Rarity.

“Thanks?” the stallion ventured.

Rarity pointed at the cart. “Did you buy seaweed?”

“Sure did,” the stallion replied.

“Every last bit the merchant had,” the mare added.

Rarity made her way to the back of the cart. “Are you certain? It might just be regular moss. I am an alchemist. Let me make sure. It will only be a minute.”

“Say, do we know you?” the mare asked.

Her heart picked up its pace as a fresh burst of adrenaline prepared Rarity for anything. She climbed into the back of cart. “I don’t think so. I just moved here last week.”

The barrel full of seaweed was right in front of her. Every beat of her heart produced a tiny hiccup in the back of her throat. Rarity took the garnet ring out of her saddlebag and popped the lid off the barrel. Seaweed greeted her. Her aura sorted through it in search of a horn. A feeling of nausea overtook her. She might have chosen the wrong container.

She heard Swift Vengance calling out to her from the sky. “Rarity, what are you doing?”

“Yeah, you’re Rarity!” the mare exclaimed. “You ain’t no alchemist. What’s goin’ on here?”

An explosion knocked Rarity off the cart. She fell onto the pavement and rolled twice before coming to a stop. Pain didn’t follow. Neither did disorientation. Rarity spotted her saddlebag amongst the scattered seaweed and pieces of wood. A purple horn peeked out of the flap. It withdrew the moment she saw it.

“She’s making a run for it!” Swift shouted.

Chapter 6

Rarity got on her hoofs, grabbed her saddlebag with her aura, and put it back on. A quick spell tweaked to locate garnet helped her find the ring amongst the debris. She couldn’t see Marigold, but Swift hadn’t gone anywhere and was waiting to be noticed. Once Rarity looked at her, Swift pointed in the direction Marigold had gone and took off in pursuit. Rarity galloped down the street, silently thanking the ponies who had noticed a scene was playing out and had gotten out of the way.

It didn’t take long for Rarity to catch up with Marigold, who had gotten slowed down by traffic. The scent of the sea and watermelons became more pronounced as she entered the harbor market. Stalls selling goods of all sorts were along the path leading to the docks. Merchants competed for the attention of customers by attempting to outdo the competition with colored banners and extravagant signs. A shadow covered the ground as an airship sailed through the sky. Strolling down the market without a care in the world was preferable to gazing intently at the rump of a unicorn foolish enough to consort with demons.

Swift flew in low directly above them. Her belly almost touched the top of Marigold’s head. Rarity was close enough to watch Swift attempt to drop a garnet ring over Marigold’s horn. Marigold cast a barrier spell. The ring bounced off it and fell behind her. She bucked it with her hind leg. The ring sailed through the air directly towards Rarity, who turned her head just in time for the ring to collide with her cheek instead of her horn.

Rarity noticed a vendor up ahead attempting to sell a variety of surf boards out of season at half-price. She sent her magic forward, seizing a board with a psychedelic tie-dye design. The board moved out of the shop on its side, much to the surprise of the owner and her patrons. Marigold jumped over the board at the last second. Rarity thought of a sentence with a series of words seldom uttered in Equestria and leapt over her own failed trap.

Swift dove from the sky, attempting to catch Marigold in a vicious tackle. Marigold teleported out of the way, letting Swift slam into the dirt with all her armor still on. Rarity came to an abrupt stop right in front of Swift’s mangled form.

TwiCord popped out of Rarity’s saddlebag and stood beside Marigold. “Keep going, Rarity. I’ll take care of this soldier and catch up with you in a minute.” She bowed her head to get a better look at Swift. “Now, on a scale of one to ten with ten being the worst pain imaginable---”

“Eight!” Swift screamed.

Rarity resumed her chase just as eight pegasus ponies appeared in the sky above her.

“Citizens, clear the streets!” said the voice of a stallion pegasus pony, amplified with the aid of a megaphone. “Do not attempt to apprehend the mare we are after! She is dangerous!”

Marigold had gotten way ahead of Rarity. Three pegasus stallions landed directly in front of Marigold and charged with their armor pointed forward. Marigold’s reflexes were too quick. She teleported again, evading them. The stallions recovered just as quickly and took to the air once again.

Three of the pegasus stallions hurled their sleep discs at her. Rarity watched the circular weapons sail towards Marigold. Even if a sleep disc struck a barrier, it would still knock out the caster. The discs also locked on to their targets, which made them almost impossible to dodge. Marigold glanced behind her. Three innocent bystanders were dragged into the fray against their will by Marigold’s aura and promptly put to sleep. After having struck something, the discs returned to the soldiers that had thrown them.

“Don’t use the discs!” one of the soldiers said. “This unicorn ain’t no slouch!”

“Marigold!” Rarity called. “You are only making this harder on yourself!”

Rarity’s charisma wasn’t high enough to persuade Marigold to stop. It didn’t matter. She was going to run out of steam soon. The soldiers in the sky were waiting for it. Marigold turned a corner. Rarity found herself running down a street between an area of lush vegetation. Trees had been planted along both sides of the path to provide ambiance for those using it. A single building was at the end of the road. It had a design so modern it could only be taken seriously as a theater.

Marigold showed no sign of surrendering. She intended to hide inside the theater. The pegasus soldiers would surround the building. Earth ponies would arrive alongside unicorns. Marigold’s ill-fated escape would end painfully for her if Rarity couldn’t convince her to go along willingly and save some of her dignity.

A quick look at the marquee revealed that the theater was showing a production of Sapphire and Blaze, an opera about two lovers from opposite clans set before ponies had stopped fighting with each other. Rarity had never seen it since she felt it sounded too much like Amber and Shade, which was a play she had read in high school about two lovers from opposing families that took place right after ponies had stopped fighting with each other. A winning formula was never retired early.

Three staff members of the theater were chatting with each other behind the lavish front desk when Marigold came bursting through the front door with Rarity right behind her. They called after them in vain. Marigold went into the theater. Music filled the air from an orchestra pit as a pegasus mare dressed in a white gown walked down the middle of a stage built to resemble the balcony of an ancient castle. A spotlight followed her.

Her beautiful song drifted down from the stage.

Oh, my hero, so far away now.

Will I ever see your smile?

Not if Marigold had anything to do with it. Confused attention centered on Rarity as she joined Marigold up on the stage. The music wobbled as the musicians became aware that the play had been compromised and the actress Rarity pinned as playing Sapphire had her mouth open, but no words were coming out. Marigold stopped in the middle of the stage and surrounded herself with a barrier. Rarity collided with it and was flung back a few hoofs.

“Enough!” Marigold shouted. “I’m through playing around.”

Rarity struggled to catch her breath. “The deal you were given earlier still stands. Surrender now and the princess will be lenient.”

“I had to go through a haunted mine to get what little lunatoite I have and I’m not giving it up for any price,” Marigold said. “Why couldn’t you have just taken the copy? It was practically flawless!”

“Say you have two swords,” Rarity said. “One is made with real lunatoite and the other is not.”

“I know how this example ends. The fake one breaks easier than the real one. But you know what? That fake sword still performs better than one made of any other material. Why is the original so important?”

“Because I am not in the habit of tricking my clients with fabricated materials.”

Marigold laughed at her. “You’re an idiot. It wouldn’t have mattered. They trust you. Even if they didn’t, you know how good my copy was. All of this could have been avoided.”

“I think you’re missing the point.”

The orchestra pit started playing a brooding tune to accompany the action of the stage. As they always said, the show must go on. The musicians were doing a fine job of carrying it.

“Unicorn spies!” Sapphire said. “I must go to my father.” She passed Rarity and went backstage.

“You’re just stalling for time until the guards are out in full force,” Marigold said. “They won’t be a problem. And neither will you, for that matter.” A sinister, black aura enveloped her. “I’m going to make you regret this. I wish you had your cheap necklace with you. That would make this fair.”

The glow surrounding Marigold emitted a malicious energy that seemed intent on tearing her apart. Goosebumps lined Rarity’s skin. She already had a plan. The oldest trick in the book. Down in the orchestra pit, the band changed its tune to accompany the impending battle. Rarity moved to the left, which got Marigold to move to the right. There was one chance to end her hissy fit, but it required another inch before it could be implemented. Rarity bit her quivering bottom lip, feigning helplessness. Marigold seemed none the wiser and continued circling her like prey.

Rarity sent her magic out towards the spotlight, which hadn’t moved since the interruption. Marigold reared back, ready to throw her dreadful spell at Rarity. The spotlight focused its beam right in her eyes. Marigold cried out in pain. A black bolt of energy shot out of her horn and headed for the ceiling. Rarity couldn’t see what it struck, but ash rained on the stage.

Marigold buried her eyes in a forearm, leaving her vulnerable. Her horn protruded from the top of her limb. It was now or never. Rarity took the ring from her saddlebag and sent it towards its target with the aid of telekinesis. A click emitted from the ring once it settled over Marigold’s horn. It was a perfect fit.

The reaction losing magic produced seldom changed. Marigold gasped, screamed at the top of her lungs, and tried desperately to get the ring off with a hoof. A victorious melody led by trumpets erupted from the orchestra. The audience cheered. It seemed like the right moment to take a bow. Since Rarity wasn’t sure when she would have another opportunity like this, she did so. A few roses found their way on stage, landing in front of her.

Five pegasus soldiers and three unicorn soldiers joined Rarity on stage. Sapphire and a pegasus pony dressed as a king also appeared accompanied by two soldiers dressed in armor from a different era.

“Father, the spy has been subdued by the. . .by the other spy,” Sapphire said, reaching for a proper narrative through desperate improvisation. “Tell us, fair mare with the elegant purple mane and pure white coat. Have you done this for our benefit?”

They started nodding. Rarity could take a hint. She gave them an elegant pose, drawing a holler of approval from one member of the audience. “I certainly have.”

Sapphire squealed. “Wonderful! You see, father? Not all unicorns are bad. You should allow me to marry Blaze instead of Quark.”

“Let’s not get carried away, Sapphire. How about we let the guards take care of the rest of this and you finish that lovely song you were trying to sing before you were so rudely interrupted?”

“Great idea, dad!”

The actors playing guards led everyone backstage, which prompted a final round of applause from the crowd. Marigold refused to move and had to be carried in the combined aura of the unicorn soldiers. Once they were behind the curtain, Marigold broke free of the aura and collapsed to the floor. A unicorn soldier retrieved her saddlebags and put them on while she tried with all her might to remove the ring. The guards let her have a tantrum in front of the bewildered cast and crew of the play as the song from earlier began playing.

“Would you stop that?” Rarity asked, concerned for Marigold’s image. “You look like a fish out of water when you flop around on the floor like that.”

“Mind your own business, wench!” Marigold said.

With her face turning a worrying shade of purple, Marigold picked up a crowbar and tried hooking the chisel to the ring, prompting the soldiers to restrain her before she broke her own horn. A sudden influx of light made Rarity wince. Sapphire’s father had opened the backstage door for them. Marigold refused to cooperate and needed to be shoved outside.

TwiCord was there to greet everyone, signing a few autographs for the soldiers with her. The group with Rarity forced Marigold to stand in front of TwiCord, whose smug smile had returned. Too much of Discord was leaking through his disguise. Luckily, he didn’t need to pose as Twilight for much longer. Rarity heard a sudden sound that perplexed her until she realized it came from Marigold grinding her teeth as she waited for Twicord to say something.

Ignoring Marigold, TwiCord addressed the soldier carrying her booby-trapped saddlebags. “I’ll need to have a look at those.”

With safety in mind, TwiCord levitated the saddlebags a considerable distance away from the group. She kept it in the air and spun it around so that the contents would fall to the gravel road. The left pocket opened without much fanfare, but the right one set off some sort of explosion that covered the ground beneath the bags in poison ivy. It occurred to Rarity that TwiCord could have done this in the first place, saving them a lot of trouble. She had wanted Marigold to run and intended for Rarity to chase after her. There wasn’t a thing Rarity could do about it.

Successfully disarmed, TwiCord could now conjure what had been tucked away inside the voids the bags carried. Lunatoite spilled out of the right pocket. Rarity knew enchanted bags could hold quite a bit more than their traditional counterpart, but what she saw still struck her as comical. There was enough to make a few suits of armor.

Or a unique brooch for a wedding dress.

TwiCord turned to the guard closest to her, who wore the rank of captain. “Okay, all of that stuff is ours since we paid for it. Here are her bags. Be careful with them. There might be additional traps.” TwiCord faced Marigold and stomped her front hoof on the ground a few times. “Using my authority as a princess, I will now determine what measures should be taken to correct Marigold Wisp’s behavior.”

“I want a lawyer!” Marigold roared. “I have a right to a fair trial! This is a kangaroo court!”

Rarity couldn’t imagine how Marigold was still standing. If she ever got that angry, she would have passed out ten minutes ago. Most of the wrinkles Marigold would have on her face later in life were being made as her adrenal glands continued to pump out pure rage.

TwiCord wasn’t impressed. “Alright, how about this, then? Take a moment and consider what you are guilty of. Do you want a regular judge to determine what should happen to you, or are you more comfortable taking your chances with me?”

It was horrifying. And ironic. But mostly horrifying. Discord, banned in the city. Passing judgment. Granted, Marigold’s crimes were far more heinous than his. Rarity imagined Discord would need to steal Twilight’s mail for the next few days if gossip about the incident didn’t get to her first.

Marigold sneered. “Forget what I just said.”

“A wise choice. You were willingly selling counterfeit goods. That’s not so bad. Your real mistake was begging demons to make your life easier. I have a few questions for you. It would be a good idea for you to answer truthfully. How did you learn to summon demons?”

The smile Marigold gave was appropriate for the question she had been asked. “You can put together what you need to do using three common encyclopedias and a number of reference books. Would you like me to name them for you so you can get started on the reissued editions?”

“That won’t be necessary. You’re not capable of giving them what they require in exchange for personal favors. There will be some pony who is, but I’ll worry about that when it happens. Here’s my next question. Why do you want to become an alicorn? Be specific, I’m grading your answer.”

“Everyone should have access to that spell!” Marigold shouted. “Members of the guard should be able to earn it. Instead, you just have to be in good with the princesses. That’s utter nonsense! I’m a graduate of Celestia’s school of magic. I achieved the rank of intermediate before I got bored, joined the guard as a mage to see what the world is really like, and watched the unit I was in get trounced by the kraken we were attempting to get rid of during my first assignment. For the trauma I endured, I was granted an early discharge. I later found out that Luna came down and dealt with the monster herself. Alone. It sure would have been nice if it had occurred to someone up in the chain of command that you should definitely send an alicorn to deal with a kraken!”

TwiCord rolled her eyes. “Let’s say I make you an alicorn right now. What would you do?”

Marigold’s anger temporarily abated as she entertained the fantasy. “I’d get back into the guard and clear my ruined name.”

“That’s nice. You know, I happened to read the report about the kraken while all the other princesses and myself were deciding who should get sent out. It’s so funny. One of the survivors mentioned a unicorn mare who left the battle early after the attempt to negotiate with the beast failed. There were two mares in that unit and only one of them was a unicorn. That couldn’t have been you, right?”

Rarity caught TwiCord’s slip. Discord had evidently been a part of that conversation. She didn’t have time to dwell on it. The trial went silent. Rarity heard the ocean in the background and the wind blowing across her ears. Nothing else.

Regret smothered Marigold’s anger. “I did the best I could. If I had more power, I wouldn’t be so weak.”

“I’d be more inclined to have sympathy for you if I didn’t know Princess Luna used many of the spells at the immediate disposal of unicorns bearing your rank to subdue the kraken. I guess she just knew how to use them better than you did.”

The criticism directed towards her only served to darken Marigold’s mood. “I did read that report. It’s nonsense. She’s lying. We should never have been sent out to deal with that thing in the first place.”

TwiCord couldn’t have cared less. “Your villainy earns a D plus, Marigold, and that’s only because I’m being generous. Here is your sentence. Magic will not be given back to Marigold Wisp until four months have passed. During that time, she must receive counseling and produce a heartfelt five-thousand-word essay on why Luna did not lie about her encounter with the kraken. This essay is to be addressed to me and written well enough to receive a passing grade.”

A few of the guards groaned.

One of them spoke up. “Princess, with all due respect, what if she starts a cult, or something?”

Another was encouraged by the first. “Yeah, what if she shares her knowledge with the type of character capable of making deals with demons?”

TwiCord addressed both of her dissenters. “That would be fantastic. It would make life a little more interesting, wouldn’t it?”

Some guards squinted. A few heads reared back, lips curling upwards in disgust. Rarity cleared her throat and shook her head. A correction was needed.

TwiCord rushed to redact her brazen comments. “Excuse me, I misspoke. Without the direct aid of magic, it will be a lot more difficult for Marigold to conjure demons. I’m sure she will realize the error of her ways by the time she can use magic again. If she doesn’t, perhaps she will after an entire year without it.”

All the guards nodded in agreement. Twilight’s image had been partially restored.

TwiCord touched the guard who held Marigold’s saddlebags on the shoulder. “I’ll head down to the station and help with processing Marigold once I’ve finished gathering my lunatoite.”

Salutes were given and the guards led Marigold away from the theater. She seemed like the type to opt for revenge. Rarity had to wonder how Twilight would react to learning that she had gained a new foe through Discord’s impersonation of her. A look of genuine surprise followed by a sigh and a slight shake of the head. The same reaction most would give to a foal who had been caught drawing on a wall. Rarity filed the worry away and focused on the silver lining of the cloud hanging over her head. Her quest was nearly complete. One final ingredient remained.

Bagging the lunatoite presented no challenge. Rarity made sure to verify the authenticity of each stone her aura touched. She arranged the pieces she intended to bag into a small pile. A quick spell revealed that she took more than she paid for. Rarity discarded a larger sample for a smaller one. The amount weighed just slightly over three pounds. Her conscience allowed her to accept it. There were plenty of leftovers. She’d be stealing if she took any more. Rarity turned to find TwiCord looking right at her, which she found unnerving.

“Give the rest back to Marigold,” Rarity said. “It belongs to her. Do be sure to thaw Talbot out before you head down to the jail. You’ll need his testimony. Grab two dozen of his candles for me so I can sell them like I promised I would once all this is over with. Are we going to use every bit of the lunatoite I purchased, or will there still be some left for me to work with?”

“How much were you hoping to keep?” TwiCord asked.

“Enough to fashion an accessory for a wedding dress.”

TwiCord considered the recipe. “Yeah, that will be fine. It will cut down how sweet our nugget will taste, but that might be for the best. I’ll send you home now, if you would like.”

“Yes, that would be kind of you.”

“You can expect Discord to arrive at the usual time. What was the last ingredient again? Enchanted moonstone. He saved the best for last, didn’t he?” TwiCord confirmed they were alone before continuing. “Don’t move.”

Before Rarity could protest, she became acutely aware that she had just been transformed into a golf ball with a tiny horn protruding from the top of her form. An even tinier orange saddlebag was secured to her horn. She landed perfectly on a tee. Rarity attempted to speak, but found that she had been robbed of her ability to do so.

TwiCord stood up on her hind legs. A pelican landed next to her, carrying an iron golf club with a large head. TwiCord accepted the gift and placed the head of the club on what Rarity understood to be her rump.

Giggling, TwiCord prepared to swing. “This won’t hurt one bit, I promise.”

True to her word, the impact produced no pain. Rarity could do nothing but sit back and enjoy the ride. The world became a blur as she traveled through it at a speed that would make Dash jealous. She nearly collided with several birds and pegasus ponies along her ascent to the apex of the arc she was following. Squawks, screams, and harsh language filtered through the sound of the wind rushing through her ears. Or whatever passed for her ears.

She reached the top of the arc at what she assumed was the halfway point to Ponyville, flying over an airship transporting supplies. The bewildered crew on deck stopped working to watch her glide forward for a few seconds until she fell over their starboard side.

A storm system failed to slow her descent. She passed right through a lightning bolt without acquiring an injury. The terrain beneath her started to become familiar. By her estimation, a mere minute remained until she would be home. As much as she hated to admit it, she found the roller coaster she was on preferable to teleportation. It was much less disorienting since the destination was physically observable.

The Castle of Friendship became visible. Rarity braced for impact. Knowing Discord, she expected something extravagant. She was heading right for Carousel Boutique. Rarity tried to move herself to the left, but her effort accomplished nothing. She crashed through the window behind the front desk, knocking Applejack’s hat off in the process. Rarity bounced off the floor, grazed the muzzle of a customer who was just browsing, ricocheted off two walls, and landed inside of an empty waste bucket. She spun around the bottom ring a dozen times before coming to a complete stop.

“What in tarnation is goin’ on?” Applejack asked. “Holy moly, is that you, Rarity?”

At some point in time she had morphed out of her golf ball form and was lying on her back with the waste bucket over her head. Her saddlebag was wrapped around her face, making it a little difficult to breath. Rarity pulled the bucket off her head with the help of her aura and yanked the saddlebag hugging her face with her hoofs. Her mane and tail were an absolute mess. She placed the blame on the bolt of electricity she had passed through.

The front door opened and slammed against the wall. Rainbow Dash had arrived. “Applejack, did you see how fast that meteorite was going? Where did it land? I wanna see it!”

“There ain’t no space rock, Dash,” Applejack said. She turned her attention to Rarity. “How bad was it?”

Elegance was required. The fun was over for the day. There was no need to be stressed. Discord would take care of the hard part when it came time to break the news to Twilight.

Rarity got back on her hoofs. “I’m not quite sure yet. I think I’ll lean towards worse than yesterday, but not in a way either of us could have predicted. I got off easy. I did a lot of running and I had to outwit a maniac who summoned two demons in hopes of learning what spell transforms the caster into an alicorn. There might be some diplomatic repercussions to Discord’s actions, but nobody is going to lose their throne over them.”

Dash chimed in. “You went on an adventure? With Discord? And there were demons? That’s rich. What for?”

There was no harm in telling her. “Spike’s birthday present.”

“Whoa!” Dash nodded in approval. “Looks like I’m going to get shown up at his party, then. It must be something really cool.”

“Yes, I hope he enjoys it.” Otherwise, Rarity would be devastated. “How were things at the shop, Applejack?”

“There was a rush on socks earlier,” Applejack replied. “Everyone who bought a pair said that their old pair had worn out. That’s kind of a waste of money, if you ask me. Unless there’s a hole big enough to shove your whole hoof through, they ain’t worn out.”

“Some ponies can’t stand having to constantly pull their socks up, dear.”

Dash thumped her chest. “I’m one of them.”

Rarity equipped her saddlebag. “Applejack, give me a chance to make myself presentable. Once I’m done, you can go home early.”

Applejack smirked. “Gee, that might take until this afternoon. I guess I won’t be goin’ home early after all.”

Dash pointed at the new hole the side of the building had. “What are you going to do about the window?”

The final word in Dash’s sentence triggered a spell. Broken fragments of glass floated back to the hole in the wall and joined to rebuild the window. Rarity gave it a tap to test its strength and nodded to herself.

“Window!” Dash said again, hoping for something more. Nothing happened.

“I’ll make this quick, Applejack,” Rarity said as she headed for the stairs.

“Wait,” Dash said. “So, what was that thing that flew in here?”

“You can’t figure it out?” Applejack asked. “That was Rarity. Discord turned her into something and threw her here from wherever they were at.”

Rarity could still hear Dash laughing when she entered her bedroom. While her trip had been humiliating, it was also something she could easily pretend didn’t happen if it ever popped up in a conversation later down the line since there weren’t many witnesses. Bigger problems required her immediate attention. Getting away from Discord and returning home meant trading one project for the one she had made a career of. She would design the brooch and take it easy for the rest of the day since she had a feeling tomorrow would be as intense as the last scary story in an anthology. Nothing could prepare her for it. She could only focus on keeping her stress low and reacting appropriately to the beating she was sure to receive. A warm cup of tea and a novel would help get the clock moving.

Chapter 7

Rarity had outdone herself again. The wedding dress was nearly finished. She still needed to triple-check the measurements and give the whole gown another thorough examination just to see if she could find something to improve. It was a good way to spend the morning until the time came to go running around with Discord for what she prayed would be their final adventure together.

She wanted to see how stunning Ocean Rain would look in the wedding dress. Struggling unicorn fashionistas with a penchant for magic had been quick to put together a spell that manipulated their mannequins into resembling well known models before their work ever went down the runway. In addition to being banned at live events, it was rumored to bring about bad luck, but the risk was acceptable. Rarity had taken plenty of risks lately. She saw no reason to stop now.

The spell required all of Rarity’s concentration. She worried it might fail until an explosion featuring the colors of her aura emitted from the mannequin, which took on the appearance of Ocean Rain. Her facial expression was off. Instead of looking like she was about to get married, she wore a face that suggested she had finally grown tired of Mazurka’s morning breath. A quick tweak turned the frown upside down and erased the furrowed brow.

It was a pity Rain would only be able to wear the dress once. Plenty of photographs would need to be taken. Spider silk. How had it been done, they would ask. Rarity couldn’t imagine not crediting Discord. Her audience would surely cringe upon learning of their partnership since his image still needed polishing. She didn’t care. Discord could use the publicity.

Her optimistic fantasies needed to wait. Rarity retrieved a lunatoite brooch from her work table. The brooch was still glowing, having only recently been shaped. Such items were usually more valuable if made by hoof. If magic was in use, the intricacy of the design needed to reflect the additional help. The brooch featured an elegant combination of the cutie marks the couple possessed. Rarity fastened it to the chest of the dress. It didn’t steal any attention away from the gown, but its presence rendered the outfit incomplete. Something was missing, but only when the brooch was on.

A peculiar noise came from outside. Rarity checked the clock. If it was Discord, he was very early, having arrived right after Applejack. She didn’t dare draw back her blinds out of fear of Rain’s wedding dress getting exposed to a hidden photographer. Rarity left the room, making sure to lock it on her way out.

Applejack had abandoned her post at the front counter and gone outside, leaving the front door wide open. She spotted Rarity as she came to join her and pointed at a strange, green contraption descending from the sky. It was a tube that managed to stay suspended in the air with the help of four propellers jutting from its back and one fastened to its tail. Two sets of wheels were on the front and back of the aircraft. A continuous onslaught of wind accompanied its impending landing. Rarity had to keep her mane out of her face while Applejack held her hat down against her head. An odd, metallic odor filled the area. It hadn’t gone unnoticed by the townsfolk, who began to gather around and spectate.

Applejack shouted over the noise of the behemoth. “I think our friend is here.”

“Let’s hope it’s just Pinkie Pie,” Rarity said.

The rotor craft landed and a door on its side slid open. Five copies of Discord stepped out, each dressed in a strange, green uniform and carrying an equally bizarre metal object. Discord himself stepped out last. His doppelgangers immediately saluted him. They then scrambled back into the rotor craft, shutting the door behind them.

As the propellers stopped spinning, Discord stretched his arms out, awaiting applause. None was given. “Tough crowd.”

“You’re here rather early,” Rarity said.

Discord produced a worn notebook and waved it in front of Rarity’s muzzle. “Today’s excursion involves a little prep work. I didn’t want any homework, so I chose to put it off until the last minute. It will be time for us to go once I have this figured out. Speaking of which, I don’t suppose you would know what phase the moon is in, would you?”

Twilight emerged from the crowd and gave an answer before Rarity could recommend a calendar. “Waxing gibbous.”

Spike was with her. Rarity gulped. A good portion of the surprise would be ruined if either of them figured out what was really going on.

Discord flipped to a specific page in his notebook and leaned down to talk to Rarity. “I’ll be waiting for you in your bedroom.” He teleported away.

Rarity thought she could sneak off without having to exchange pleasantries with Spike and Twilight, but they were both heading right for her. Refusing to acknowledge them would be in bad form. If ever there were a time to cut and run like a heathen, it was now. Rarity couldn’t do that to herself.

Twilight was as sparkly as ever. “Hey, Rarity. Is Discord bothering you?”

Rarity chuckled nervously. “No, not at all.”

Spike narrowed his eyes. “You sure? We can chase him off, if you want.”

Perish the thought. “I’m fine, really.”

Applejack came to the rescue. “Discord ain’t causin’ any trouble. Any real trouble, that is. He’s just here to help Rarity gather some materials she couldn’t otherwise grab herself.”

Rarity jumped in before Applejack could go any further. “I’m making a dress.” Who knew?

Spike bought the whole charade. “If you needed help, you could have asked me.”

“Thank you, but as it turns out, the fabric I needed had a few risks involved in its acquisition and I would never ask you to do anything dangerous for me.”

He wasn’t convinced. “What were you after?”

“Now, Spike, you know I can’t tell you that. You shouldn’t say anything you don’t want everyone to hear. I can’t break client confidentiality for anyone, not even my own parents or Sweetie Belle. When it’s finished, I’m sure you’ll be able to read all about it in Chic.”

“Ahh. I hope there will be plenty of pictures.”

“It’ll get a full spread, I assure you.”

Spike looked away from her and poked two of his claws together. “Does this mean you’ll be late to my party?”

“No, I’ll be right on time. It looks like I’m going to finish this project early.”

Twilight put a hoof on Spike’s shoulder. “We had better get going.” She winked at Rarity, having seen through the ruse.

Spike removed Twilight’s hoof. “Wait a minute. I had one last thing I wanted to say.” He blushed. Profusely. “I know Pinkie Pie has at least five filing cabinets full of great gift ideas for me, but. . .it would be enough just for you to show up to the party, Rarity.”

Rarity nodded in approval. “How mature of you. I want to get you something, though. That’s my choice.”

“I’ll be sure to treasure it forever.”

“I’m sure you will. Don’t let me keep you from your errands any longer.”

“See you later, Rarity.”

They waved at each other. Spike left, leaving Twilight behind. As soon as Spike was out of earshot, Twilight opened her mouth.

Rarity was faster. “It’s not a book.”

Twilight sighed in relief. “Oh, thank goodness. That would have been super awkward. Can I get a hint? Pinkie Pie won’t say anything unless two ponies are buying the exact same gift.”

“A hint? Very well. It’s edible.”

Twilight’s face lit up in surprise. “Is it the fire ruby?”

Rarity could hear herself start to sweat. “That was my original idea, but I’ve misplaced it. I’ve had some extra help finding a suitable replacement.”

“I take it you’re referring to Discord?” Twilight asked.

“You’re as sharp as ever, Twilight.”

“I see. I think you’re going to make Spike very happy, Rarity.”

“Most likely. I just want you to know I’m not doing this to show any of you up. He has earned what I’m giving him.”

Twilight scoffed. “It wouldn’t be very generous of you if you intended to show us up.”

“That’s a good point, but all of us have occasionally acted outside the expectations thrusted upon us by our respective Elements. I want everyone to know that this is not one of those times.”

“Yikes. I can’t wait to see this. Whatever it is. Good luck.”

“Thanks, I’ll need it. We’re getting the final ingredient today and Discord was particularly excited about it yesterday. That doesn’t bode well.”

“Whatever happens, I’m sure you’ll do just fine.”

“I’ll give it my best effort. Take care, Twilight.”

Rarity took one last look at the aircraft parked in her yard before heading back into her shop with Applejack.

Applejack closed the door for Rarity. “I don’t mean to be a worry wart, but I’ve got a funny feeling about today. My gut hasn’t set right since last night. Discord’s grand entrance didn’t help. Maybe all of us should go with you two this time.”

“He’d refuse,” Rarity said. “After all, this whole thing is our little game.”

Applejack sighed. “Have him cut his nonsense, then. Don’t go if he won’t. If he has a problem with that, have him come talk to me. Today ain’t gonna be easy, even if he says otherwise. His fast, wild, and free lifestyle is bound to catch up with him at some point and none of us need to be around when it does.”

“You make a decent point, Applejack. I thought the same thing while I was in the Yellow Rock cave. I’ll be sure to emphasize the need for caution today.”

“Good. My gut has never steered me wrong. The less goofin’ around he does while you’re lookin’ for the moonstone, the better.”

Rarity nodded in agreement and went upstairs, hoping to shake off Applejack’s warning after listening to Discord’s briefing. The sound of chalk scratching against a blackboard gave her an idea of what to expect as she opened the door to her bedroom. All her furniture had been hastily crammed into a corner to make room for three chalkboards covered in several forms of math. Discord was working on a fourth board, occasionally pausing to consult his worn notebook. He didn’t bother acknowledging Rarity.

The most detailed map of the known world had been nailed to her wall with no regard to where the studs rested. Vicious cracks sprawled out from the nails holding up the map.

Discord scribbled more numbers on the chalkboard in front of him. “Today’s adventure will take us to a location beyond time and space. The entrance moves depending on the phase of the moon and several other factors.”

“What sort of place does such a thing?”

Discord stopped writing on the chalkboard and turned to face Rarity. His demeanor was uncharacteristic. For once in his life, Discord couldn’t be more serious. “The abandoned dimension once inhabited by many of my kin.”

Rarity hadn’t expected such a reply. At all. “You’ve left me at a loss for words.” She needed to be extra careful not to offend him. Being the last of his kind had gotten depressing at least once. “How long has it been since you were last there?”

He went back to figuring out the formula he was working on. “Shortly after I was the last one left. I don’t remember how long ago that was. Ponies were still fighting with each other.”

“Are you okay with going back? We could go tomorrow or some other day if you’re not prepared.”

“It’s fine. I’ve known we would need to pay a visit to my old stomping grounds since I pitched my idea to you. To be completely honest, we probably should have gone there on the first day. It would have been the easiest of the three ingredients to fetch and you would have been put off by the sudden increase in difficulty the next day. I just didn’t feel like going back there until I absolutely had to.”

Rarity hesitated. “I have a few questions. If they sound insensitive, please understand that I mean no offense.”

“Fire away.”

“Were all of your kin drawn to chaos magic?”

“Of course. Chaos defines us. We get to see it in action every time we look at a mirror. Few were as good with it as I was. I suppose you could think of me as a grand master if I were a unicorn.”

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but given what you have said, I can only be led to imagine a city filled with all sorts of traps. I think it would be a good idea to get some extra hoofs together before we set out on our journey.”

Discord barked a laugh. “We’ll be fine. When have I failed to protect you over the course of the past few days?”

“I’m just worried that you might have forgotten something.”

“What, like you? Fat chance. It’s all here in this notebook.” Discord slapped it with his lion paw.

“Then what must be done to obtain the enchantable moonstone?” Rarity asked.

“It’s hidden inside a communal vault.”

“And we’ll just stroll right in and grab it? That sounds way too easy.”

“It will be. For us. Anyone else probably wouldn’t make it out in one piece.”

Rarity had to keep trying to shake his confidence. “I have a feeling something is going to go horribly wrong.”

“That’s not unusual as it’s always a possibility.”

“Exactly, so maybe we should bring along some extra help.”

Discord waved her suggestion off. “How many ways must I say it until it sinks in? If I had the slightest suspicion you wouldn’t make it out of their alive, I would have gone by myself.”

“Very well. Just so you know, I would hate to have to say I told you so.”

“As would I.”

Rarity decided to drop the subject. She wasn’t getting anywhere. “How much longer is it going to take you to solve that problem?”

“Not long.” Discord wrote a set of coordinates on the only remaining space of the board he was working on. “In fact, there it is.”

The piece of chalk in his eagle claw turned into a dart that he threw at the map of the world. It marked a spot in the middle of the South Luna Ocean. Specifically, The Equinox Pit. It was the deepest part of the ocean. Even sea ponies needed magic to be able to venture into it as their bodies could not withstand the pressure at such depths. Those who managed to return from a trip to the pit spoke of aquatic monsters not worth bothering, even for the sake of science.

“Is the entrance to this dimension always this accessible?” Rarity asked.

“We don’t let in just anyone, sweetie. You need an invitation. Anyway, this isn’t the time for jokes. We have thirty minutes to find it before it moves again. The solution to that hemorrhage inducing formula narrows the location down to a ten-mile radius.”

“Covering that much ground would take more than thirty minutes,” Rarity said.

“If you had been kind enough to let me finish, I would have told you about the item I have created that will help us find the door. It’s in the helicopter, which is the thing outside with the spinning blades.”

“I hope the seats are comfortable.”

Discord took hold of Rarity’s bed with telekinesis and threw it out her bedroom window. She watched the helicopter appear beyond the new hole in her wall and ascend into the sky. A rope ladder appeared, inviting them to have a climb.

“What was that for?” Rarity asked, having to shout over the noise of the helicopter.

Discord leapt out the hole and grabbed hold of the ladder. “I’m shaving a few precious seconds off our time.”

“In the most dramatic way possible.”

“Look who’s talking.”

He had her there. Before joining him, she grabbed her orange saddlebag and put it on. A quick check revealed no nasty surprises. Seeing no other way onto the helicopter, Rarity went into a gallop and leapt out the hole, catching the rope ladder in her front hoofs. Discord’s weight was still on it, which kept it from swinging. Whoever piloted the helicopter continued gaining altitude as Rarity climbed the ladder. Past Discord’s butt, she could see an open door. A clone of Discord dressed in the same outfit from earlier stood by to help if needed. He wore a headset over a helmet that had the word ‘Maverick’ emblazoned across the front.

Rarity spotted a pegasus mare with an unmistakable mane heading right for them.

Dash came to a stop a few hoofs in front of Rarity. “Whoa, what is this thing?”

“I think Discord called it a helicopter,” Rarity replied.

“Neat! It’s like a metal airship. Smells awful, though.”

Rarity reached the open door and had to pull her mane from her face. “Sorry, darling, can’t talk right now. I’m getting ready to spend the rest of my day at Discord’s mercy.”

“Hah! Good luck!”

She would need it. Once she was safely inside the cabin, Maverick gathered the rope ladder and closed the door behind her. He gave her a smile and joined another clone at the front of the aircraft who had been watching everyone board the aircraft. ‘Phoenix’ was written across his helmet. Maverick took his seat on the left and began operating an array of controls that Rarity couldn’t begin to comprehend. Part of her felt Discord had no idea what all of them did, either. The helicopter had to be running on his magic.

As the craft was built to accommodate Discord’s natural height, it was a large space for a pony to be in. Discord sat on a bench in the back of the helicopter. He gave the spot next to him a pat. Rarity humored him. She spotted a collage of photographs featuring him and Fluttershy taped to the wall on his right. For some inexplicable reason, the Twilicane was mounted above the door opposite the one they had entered.

Before she could ask how long their ride would be, the helicopter started shaking.

Maverick put a paw to his headset. “Uhh, this is your captain speaking. We, uhh, are going to experience some, uhh, turbulence. Buckle up.”

Rarity couldn’t do it fast enough. After strapping herself down, she looked out the helicopter window. The sky was still outside. Everything went black in an instant. A horrible noise came from directly above them. It sounded just like her blender right before it had died. She put her hoofs to her ears. The illuminated control panel was all she could see. Something started crawling in her lap.

“Switching on the interior cabin light,” Phoenix said.

Adequate lighting was restored to the interior of the helicopter. Two rattlesnakes were tied together in a knot around her stomach. Scoffing, she undid the knot and shoved them off her body. Upon striking the floor, they turned into stuffed animals. Rarity looked out the window again. She couldn’t see anything. It was impossible to determine where they were. The terrible grinding noise lessened. A scraping sound replaced it as something sharp rubbed against the aircraft.

Rarity realized what was happening. “Are we coming up through the ocean floor?”

Discord grinned and nodded.

“Why?”

“Why not?”

Rarity figured she had him. “But Discord, aren’t we wasting time? Would it not have made more sense to just teleport directly outside our destination?”

“What a dreadfully dull idea. We have more than enough time to take the scenic route.”

They broke free from the sand, ridding them of the noise traveling through it produced. Rarity heard the rotors spinning overhead, but nothing else. Though Rarity was not an expert on the matter, she had a hunch the helicopter couldn’t function in the ocean without Discord’s help. The pressure outside alone would have crumpled them up into a mess the size of a marble.

Phoenix flicked a switch. “Searchlight on.”

Rarity moved towards the front of the helicopter to get a glimpse of their surroundings. A white, scaly wall with a furrow running through it filled the entirety of the windshield. It opened, revealing an orange pit with a slanted, black iris that focused on them. She realized they were looking at the eye of a gigantic creature. The eye narrowed. A guttural growl that reverberated throughout the helicopter confirmed it had done so in offense.

The part of her brain that processed threats sputtered, desensitized from being around Discord. Was this truly a threat? Two rattlesnakes had just been in her lap. The beast in front of them could easily be another part of the show.

A telekinetic force yanked her backwards and placed her on the bench at the back of the helicopter. At some point in the middle of her trip, she had been dressed to go scuba diving, complete with a wetsuit. Nope. It was a threat. Rarity spat the regulator out of her mouth as a lap bar and an over-the-shoulder restraint pinned her to the bench. While she waited, Discord leaned over the pilot’s seat to speak with his clones as the gigantic beast in front of them began moving.

“Boss, that’s definitely a leviathan,” Maverick said. “We should teleport him out of this area unless you really want me to fly through his intestines.”

“While that does sound amusing, it would probably be more trouble than it would be worth,” Discord said.

A giant maw full of teeth opened in front of them.

“You know, I could swear we know this fellow,” Phoenix said.

Discord reached for the control panel. “I had a feeling I had seen him somewhere before.” He flipped a switch on the panel and tore the headset off Maverick so he could have access to the microphone attached to it. “Levi! Stop! It’s me! Discord!”

They stopped advancing towards the throat of the leviathan. A hesitant groan emitted from the red cave. Rarity’s restraints released, allowing her to waddle up to the front of the helicopter in her scuba diving gear and get a better look at what was going on. The single eye of the leviathan focused on them again.

“Golly! Is that really you, Discord?” asked an odd voice belonging to an individual with limited refinements. “Well, I’ll be. It is! Shoot, I thought you was a humpback whale, or somethin’. Did yer door spawn somewhere ‘round here again?”

“Why else would I be down here, Levi?” Discord asked.

“Yeah. Hey, is that one a them little ponies you got in there? Good thing I didn’t eat you. Them ponies give me a bad reaction.”

“Levi, I’d love to stay and chat, but I’ve got twenty-five minutes to find the door before it hops off to who knows where.”

“You want some help lookin’ for it?”

Discord slapped his own face with his lion paw and let the microphone slide into the center of his eagle claw. “We’ll be down here all day at this rate.” He brought the mic back up to his mouth. “No, Levi, that won’t be necessary. I’ve got something that will help me find it.”

“Aww.”

Discord gave the headset back to Maverick and moved over to the Twilicane. He took it down from its mount and twisted the bottom. A click emitted from the cane before it shot from his lion paw and collided with the windshield. The eyes of the Twilicane flashed red.

Phoenix spoke into his microphone. “Levi, can we come in? Looks like where we’re going is somewhere inside your lair this time.”

“Sure. I gotta warn you, though. It’s a bit of a mess in here. I don’t get ‘round to cleanin’ much on the count of I don’t get very many visitors. Mostly just you and that other feller. You know, the one with the octopus face?”

“Don’t answer. You’ll just encourage him,” Discord said.

Rarity almost urged Discord to be nice, but stopped when she considered Levi’s carnivorous diet. The helicopter flew over Levi’s head into the cave he had claimed as his home. They quickly uncovered his favorite hobby. Tucked away in corners near the ceiling were ships that had been lost at sea. Airships that had crashed into the ocean were also among the remains.

The spotlight passed over a cruise liner Rarity recognized. “Is that the Gigantic?”

“That’s what it says on the side,” Maverick offered.

Rarity could hardly believe it. “They’re still looking for the remains of this ship. It’s almost been a hundred years since it sank. There’s supposed to be a crate of red diamonds in the luggage area. Can you believe that? Red diamonds!”

Discord laughed at her. “You’ve got a saddlebag full of celevite and lunatoite. We’re on our way to pick up enchantable moonstone. How can you possibly gush over red diamonds at a time like this?”

Rarity flicked her hair back. “Diamonds are a mare’s best friend.”

Discord gagged himself. Boys just didn’t understand.

“If you ever feel like getting me anything, you know where to look,” Rarity said.

“If, and that’s a big if, I wanted to do that, I’d be obligated to hang out with Levi for at least an hour. I’m not sure you’re worth that effort.” Discord shook his head. “But I’ll still think about it.”

The Twilicane turned to the right, grinding against the glass and prompting Maverick to follow where it was pointing. They faced a crack too narrow to fly their helicopter through.

“I’m going to land,” Maverick said. “You two will have to continue on hoof.”

Rarity felt the wetsuit she was wearing disappear.

Discord pulled the Twilicane from the windshield, which took a good yank. “I don’t feel like going for a swim. I’ll weigh us down so we can walk.”

The helicopter settled next to Levi’s enormous body, kicking up a cloud of sand. Discord slid the door open. Contrary to Rarity’s expectations, water didn’t rush in. She took a few deep breaths to be certain she could as Discord stepped outside into complete darkness. Light sprang from the eyes of the Twilicane, providing an ample amount of illumination. It pulled Discord forward like an excited dog on a leash. He struggled to keep his grip on it.

Rarity ventured outside of the helicopter. Her movement was not hindered by the water she traveled through. There was no protective bubble around them. Discord had chosen to make their magical enhancements invisible. Rarity glanced behind her shoulder to see what had become of the helicopter and the clones, only to see nothing at all. She moved closer to Discord.

Discord lost his balance. That was all the Twilicane needed. It took off straight ahead towards their goal, taking their light with them. The darkness swallowed them up. Discord acted quickly, producing a torch that somehow managed to burn underwater. They had far less light, but they could still tell where they were going.

“There it is,” Discord said, pointing at a yellow light in the distance.

He took off running. Rarity galloped to keep up with him. The walls closed around them as they ventured deeper into the crack. Rarity looked up. Though there was little light, she could see the ceiling coming down on them. Under any other circumstances, a dead end would be coming up fast. Instead, they met with something else entirely.

The back of the passage ended with a smooth, horizontal wall. A regular front door made of wood featuring a peep hole and an unremarkable knocker was perfectly affixed to the stone around it, as if somebody did indeed have a home on the other side. The lock beneath the bronze handle required a skeleton key to bypass. There was a doorbell to its right. The light Discord had spotted came from a porch light above the door. A burgundy welcome mat was in front of the door with a pot of blue flowers to keep it company.

The Twilicane had stuck itself to the door. Discord pulled it free with a tug that made his shoulder pop, switched it off, and stuffed it in Rarity’s saddlebag. Discord rubbed his claw and paw together as he examined the features of the door. He grabbed the knocker and tapped it against the wood. No answer. He rang the doorbell. An unfamiliar tune played faintly from somewhere beyond the door. Discord knelt and grabbed the mat. He was about to flip it over when he took another look at the plant.

Discord nodded at it. “Quick, what are those?”

“Hydrangeas,” Rarity replied.

He got up and moved the plant to the side, uncovering a bronze skeleton key. Discord slid it inside the lock and turned it to the right instead of the left. A bolt unlatched. He twisted the door knob and opened the door.

Discord held it open for Rarity and bowed. “Mares first.”

“A perfect gentleman,” she muttered.

Chapter 8

Before stepping into the unknown, Rarity took in what she could from where she stood. A statue of a Draconequus carved out of jade looked right at her. It stood atop a regular stone block that had an opening near the middle with a ceramic tray designed to catch whatever popped out of the hole. The right arm of the creature ended in a cat paw pointing down while the left arm concluded with a monkey fist held high above the head of a bear. Rarity was reminded of a prize machine. Another statue carved from bronze and one made with marble kept the jade statue company. Though the parts of their bodies varied greatly, all of them had their left arms in the air and made some sort of gesture out of whatever their right arm ended in.

Rarity poked her head through the doorway. A fair amount of effort had gone into making the room as white as possible. Drywall, carpet, and paint hadn’t tickled the creative flair of whoever had designed the room. The floor was made of white jelly beans that smelled like vanilla. Whipped cream served as walls. Clouds occupied the ceiling.

She entered the room, squishing candy underneath her hoofs. There were five other statues made from different materials that hadn’t been visible from the doorway.

“This is another puzzle, isn’t it?” Rarity asked.

Discord closed the door behind them and nodded. “They called this the waiting room. It was made in case some creature managed to find the door and the key. There’s one chance to solve this puzzle. Those who can’t are booted from the room. The door then spawns somewhere else.”

“I take it this place never had any problems with peddlers trying to sell vacuums or magazine subscriptions.”

“And you would be correct.”

“Interesting. Does the type of plant placed outside have something to do with where the key is hidden?” Rarity asked. She received a nod. “I thought so. How does one get past this room?”

“There are eight statues. Each of them represents a phase of the moon. As Twilight said, it’s currently in the waxing gibbous phase. That’s the fourth one. The fourth statue will give us the tool we’ll use to move around in here. Which is the fourth statue? That’s a secret.”

Rarity stopped to admire a statue carved out of titanium. “What gave your peers the idea to base so much of the means to enter this kingdom on the moon?”

“It was done out of respect. The moon has an influence on several types of magic.”

“Really? I’ve never heard of that before.”

“That doesn’t make it any less true.”

“I’m sure Twilight would love to hear what you have to say about this.”

Discord smirked. “She has plenty of time to figure it out on her own.”

Of all the statues in the room, Discord stopped in front of one made from alexandrite. He levitated until he was able to grab the octopus tentacle the left arm ended in and pulled it like a slot machine. An object tumbled around inside the stone block the statue stood on until it dispensed into the tray underneath the opening. Discord picked up a recognizable cube and nodded to himself.

“That’s a Brain Twister,” Rarity said. “It’s the seven-by-seven edition.”

“I’m shocked you recognize it.” Discord tossed the cube at Rarity, who caught it in her aura.

Regular Brain Twisters came with their cubes colored and weren’t made of silver. A single cube fashioned from gold was in the mix. The few cubes that were not blank had symbols on them from an alphabet Rarity didn’t recognize.

Rarity gave the cube back to Discord. "I used to be obsessed with these things when I was a filly. I even competed at a local tournament.”

“Did you win?”

“Almost. Second place. I didn’t have this one, though. I had the regular one. The four-by-four. I knew they were an old toy, but I’m surprised to see them here.”

“You shouldn’t be. We invented them. Some twit decided to omit that particular bit of history from your encyclopedias and gave the credit to Starswirl.”

Rarity’s mouth dropped open. “That’s terrible. You should talk to Twilight about it.”

Discord fiddled with the cube. “I don’t think I’m at the point where her colleagues would accept my word as a reliable source. Besides, it’s far from the most egregious error you can find in your history books.” Having reached a solution, he held the cube in front of him. “There we are. This will put us in the dimension where the vault resides if we take the north exit.”

“Isn’t there some place you would like to see again before we go there?” Rarity asked.

“Nope.”

The curt reply startled her. “What about your own dimension? You had one here, didn’t you?”

Discord walked towards the north wall, which now featured a regular door. “It doesn’t matter. There’s no need to stick around here any longer than we have to.”

Rarity caught up with her traveling companion. “I’m sorry. I thought maybe you would be nostalgic.”

“I’m not. And there’s no need to apologize.” Discord opened the door and held it for Rarity.

A relatively tame room awaited them. The marble aesthetic brought to mind banks that only managed clients who accepted their invitations. She had been in one once, but ultimately decided to keep her money local. Ancient coins made of various precious metals were scattered haphazardly across the floor. Sometimes the coins were in stacks. A collection of banknotes flittered about, propelled by an unseen force. Piles of diamonds, none of them red, could be found exactly ten inches apart from one end of the room to the other.

Their steps echoed as they pressed onward. One pile of loot stood out from the rest. Three stands made to hold coats had been used to hang crowns instead. Two were knocked over. A laced crown constructed from white gold and inlaid with blue sapphires was lying upside down on top of a golden fleece. The crown stood out from the others for a simple reason. It was the missing piece of Ocean’s wedding dress.

“Rarity, you’re drooling,” Discord said.

She wiped her mouth to see if he was telling the truth, which wasn’t the case. “Would you be upset if I asked you to let me have that crown?”

“That old thing? It’s yours. There isn’t a curse on it, so go ahead and put it in your bag.”

Rarity levitated the crown in front of her and checked its dimensions. Miraculously, Ocean would be able to wear it. Despite having been in the room for at least a century, it hadn’t gotten dirty. She placed it inside her saddlebag.

“Is that for your own collection or part of an ensemble for a client?” Discord asked.

“The latter.”

Discord grinned. “Are you sure that’s a good idea? I would think most of your clientele would be too prissy to wear something plundered from a hall of discarded trinkets inside of a dimension beyond time and space. What are you going to tell them if they ask where you got the crown?”

“If they must know, I’ll say it was chosen from a collection of treasure retrieved from the remains of a lost civilization.”

“What a spin. With lingual gymnastics like that, you could be a politician.”

They reached the middle of the chamber. Rarity felt something watching her. Off to the right and nearly hidden in an alcove was a giant, bipedal stone golem. She had limited knowledge of such beings, but could tell the lack of fire where its eyes should have been meant it was sleeping. Any number of hidden triggers could jar it awake. The silent golem sat on a chair pressing a cotton rag to an enormous hammer it held in its other hand. Another golem was to Rarity’s left. It was on its hands and knees so it could have a better look at what was on the ground the second it sprang back to life.

Anxiety wasn’t far behind her. “Are those sentries still active?” A banknote that had strayed from the pack slammed against her face while trying to rejoin its group. She pulled it off and let the spell take it back to where it belonged.

“I disabled the traps in this specific dimension the last time I was here in case I ever needed to take anything out of the vault,” Discord replied. “Don’t let that worry you. What’s in there stays in there. The only other creature smart enough to get this far would have to be one of my peers.”

“Come to think of it, what would a regular Draconequus need with a communal vault, anyway?”

“They kept relics and artifacts in there that they didn’t want to share.”

A watercolor painting of a regular door with the dimensions of a real door had been placed where a door should have been. She wasn’t surprised. An actual vault door wouldn’t have been any fun. The painting lacked effort and whoever had hung it hadn’t gone farther than a flea market to find the frame, which somehow outdid what it had been forced to display.

Discord held out his lion paw. “Stand back.”

He drew a circle on the door with his eagle talon. A red arcane symbol appeared on the painting. Looking at it made Rarity feel dizzy, but Discord wasn’t fazed. A kitchen timer dinged. Discord extended his open lion paw and a torrent of ice erupted from a point of focus a few inches in front of it. The painting took the beating like a champ, but the wall surrounding it began to frost over. Rarity could feel the chill from where she stood. The symbol changed. Blazing fire replaced the ice, sending steam into the air and water to the floor. Just when Rarity believed Discord was only dealing with elements, white chocolate splattered onto the painting. A cheerful ding rewarded his performance. The frame fell off the painting and the crudely drawn door opened, revealing the pathway to the vault.

Discord turned to Rarity. “Looks like we got off easy this time, although that sudden demand for the generation of white chocolate almost threw me for a loop. You must be good luck.” A piece of white chocolate still glued to the wall broke off and found its way over to her. “Care for a bite?”

“I think I’ll pass.”

“Suit yourself.” Discord ate the chunk of chocolate. “It’s going to vanish in less than ten minutes, anyway. Once that happens, it will be as if I hadn’t eaten anything at all.”

“That sounds unhealthy.”

“Excess of anything usually is.”

The vault contained a large swimming pool filled to the brim with tapioca pudding. Benches instead of tables with parasols signaled that the pool had been intended to be used in a gym setting for exercise. Light streamed in through the windows. A quick glance outside revealed that they were floating in the middle of outer space. The light came from a distant sun. It was a cozy choice of ambiance that made up for the drab interior.

A set of goggles with a snorkel appeared on Discord’s head. He climbed the high dive and leapt off it. Discord emerged on the far side of the pool with a large white brick that he placed on the concrete floor. Rarity rushed over to him.

“Is this pool made up of safety deposit boxes?” Rarity asked.

“Yes, and each of them has a different lock,” Discord replied.

He cast a spell on the box, causing it to pop open. A collection of moonstones was inside. They were a dark shade of pink and cut in the briolette style.

Rarity recognized them. “Aren’t these the same stones that are set in the frame of the Crystal Mirror?”

“How do you think it gets its power? Moonstone takes well to magic dealing with time, teleportation and inter-dimensional travel. It won’t hold anything else. Take three of them. I’ll leave the rest here. The fewer creatures we have running around who can bend time and open portals to who knows where, the better.”

Using telekinesis, she placed three moonstones into her saddlebag. The final ingredient had been gathered. Now was hardly the time to celebrate. Rarity would allow herself to feel accomplished after the final product was in front of her. Even so, a sense of exhilaration still rushed through her. Spike would love it, so long as it didn’t destroy his stomach.

Discord shut the box and made sure it was closed before diving back into the pudding to put the brick back where he had gotten it. He emerged holding two bowls of pudding with spoons protruding from their sides. “You should really try some of this. It’s made with a secret recipe. The pudding is kept edible and sanitized with an enchantment. My dead skin and hair aren’t anywhere in it. Also, regeneration is automatic.”

“Does it vanish after ten minutes as well?”

Discord kept one bowl levitated and began eating out of the other. “No, this is going straight to my thighs.”

Rarity grabbed the bowl with her aura, sat down on a nearby bench, and had a bite. It was quite delicious, but only when she told herself she hadn’t just watched Discord swim through it. A quick spell cleaned the pudding off Discord and the tracks he had left on the floor. He sat next to Rarity and began enjoying his meal.

They ate in silence. Rarity was hungrier than she thought. She finished first and sat her bowl down on an empty spot to her right. Her attention drifted towards the shallow end of the swimming pool. Hatchlings had probably played in there eons ago. If Discord’s kind hatched. For all she knew, they were birthed like mammals.

Her curiosity had peaked. Discord’s guard was down. Once they left the vault, he would be less likely to answer. If she delayed asking the question any further, she might not get a straight answer out of him.

“What happened to your kind?”

Discord scoffed. “That’s quite the question to ask while I’m eating.”

“I couldn’t help it. I want to know.”

“You’re a smart pony. You could probably put it together.”

“If I had to guess, I’d say they must have gotten trapped in some alternate universe while they were busy playing around with this one.”

“Close enough.” Discord sat his bowl down, half-eaten. “I found some notes in the chamber where the core that powers this place is kept. They had been looking for a way to ascend into a higher plane of existence since the other creatures have never shared our sense of humor and friendship wasn’t in vogue at the time. The note said they figured it out and everyone was leaving. Anyone who wasn’t present was out of luck since the spell was, and I quote, a real doozy that requires more than one participant.”

Rarity perked up. “Having worded it like that, it sounds as if you weren’t the only one who was absent.”

“I think you’re reading too much into it. They knew I would try to come back. Birds of a feather flock together, and all that jazz. That note was left to smite me. This might come as a shock, but I was exiled from this place for being too edgy, which some considered an accomplishment.”

She had to come up with something to lighten the mood. “Youth is a series of embarrassments. You’ve come a long way and you have at least two friends who truly care about you.”

Discord gave no indication that he had picked up on her hint. “Perhaps.”

“Do you think when they said they had ascended into a higher plane of existence, they really meant that they had become chaos itself?”

“The idea had occurred to me. It would make sense. If that indeed is the case, no creature on this planet is ever going to have more than a decade of peace.” Discord stood up and headed for the exit. “Enough reminiscing. We can talk more about my past some other time, preferably in a setting that isn’t anywhere near this depressing. Come on. We can’t use the cube until we leave this room.”

Rarity eyed the entrances to the locker rooms on her way out, wondering if they lead anywhere. The door to the vault closed itself after they passed through it. A different yet equally crude attempt at painting a door was hung inside a new frame. The Brain Twister shot out of her saddlebag, heading right for Discord’s outstretched lion paw. Once it made contact, Rarity heard something sizzle. Discord cried out in pain, clutching his paw with his eagle claw. The Brain Buster landed on the floor a hoof away.

Six magical barriers each featuring a different color immediately appeared over them. Discord moved closer to Rarity and stood ready to attack while Rarity tried to keep up with all the sudden action. The lighting in the room diminished, causing it to take on a more sinister atmosphere.

“Rarity, this isn’t a joke. Something went wrong,” Discord said. “I messed up. Do exactly what I tell you to do and everything will be fine. I promise.”

“How did you mess up?” Rarity asked. “I thought you said you were here before.”

“Yes, I did say something like that, but I didn’t say I tried taking anything out of the vault. In order to get in it, I had to trick the magic on the door and in the room into thinking I was someone who had permission to be here. That might have been very easy to watch, but it certainly wasn’t simple to do.”

Arguing wasn’t going to get them anywhere. “Alright, so how do we get out of here?”

“Simple. Solve the cube. Only now, there’s a catch. You must solve it with the worst migraine you’ve ever had.”

She sighed. “Take a minute if you need one.”

Discord levitated the cube and flinched, his face contorting with pain. “I wouldn’t want to keep you waiting.”

The moment the cube clicked after he had turned one side of it, a large portion of the floor slid open. Fireworks and party streamers erupted from the pit as a platform began raising something out of it. Something with a flat head and two eyes made of blue fire.

“You’ve got to be kidding,” Discord said as a harness appeared around him.

Rarity chuckled nervously. “We should probably start running.”

Before she could move, Discord scooped her up and dropped her into the harness. Her back was up against his. Discord took off with more speed than he looked capable of having. The eyes of the giant golem followed them as they made their way down a thin path next to the pit. A hand came up, hoping to grab them. Discord jumped straight into it and slithered through the fingers as they closed. Rarity didn’t dare scream since doing so might distract him. Safely on the back of the hand, Discord leapt and hit the ground running.

The golem tried to grab them again, sending a wave of air that tussled Rarity’s mane and tail. Even in the low light, she could still make out the cracks and grooves on its fingers as they passed right in front of her. They had thought enough of its design to give it the illusion of fingernails. If Discord had been running half a mile slower, it would have caught them.

Since the platform wasn’t raising fast enough for it, the stone monstrosity climbed out of the pit. It moved with a surprising degree of agility. The rocks that made up its body grinded together audibly while it was in motion. It took one step towards them and abruptly turned around to fetch something from the pit that it had forgotten.

A magical barrier surrounded Discord just as the bank notes from earlier swooped in to attack. They stuck to the barrier, attempting to slice through it with their edges. Though her view was obscured, Rarity could tell they were being followed by the booming footsteps echoing through the hall. The notes caught fire and released themselves from the barrier, burning away into ash and allowing Rarity to view their overly enthusiastic stalker. It now carried a hammer, which was what it had retrieved from the pit.

Discord reached the door they had used to enter the room and opened it while running. Rarity struggled to get a view of their new environment. They stepped into nothing. Discord’s feet were running on an invisible road in a black void. All at once, a room made of cobblestone built itself around them. Columns to hide behind shot up from the ground and rocketed into the ceiling, merging with it. Torches attached to the columns provided light. Discord ducked behind a random column and observed the entrance of the room. Rarity craned her neck and watched the wall above the door explode into debris as the golem charged through it.

The golem took two steps forward before being met with uncertainty and coming to a halt. It dropped the business end of its hammer to the ground, sending chips of broken cobblestone everywhere. The golem leaned on the hammer and stroked its chin as it tried to figure out what to do next.

Discord turned his head, put a talon to his lips, and blew. They needed to remain quiet. “We’re not getting out of here until we deal with that thing. We were lucky to be in the neighborhood of an unused dimension. I can use my magic in here to create whatever I want, but I need to be careful. Once I use magic, the golem will know where I am.”

“Then what are you waiting for? Drop a three-hundred-ton weight on its head.”

“It would survive that. These things are made to be virtually indestructible.”

The golem smashed a column into bits with its hammer.

Rarity started shaking. “What if you stop it from moving? Freeze it or drop it in a vat of glue.”

“It would break free from it before I had a chance to get us out of here.”

Their new friend was getting close.

“Didn’t you disable the other two golems?” Rarity asked.

“Yes, but I don’t remember how. I’m trying, but the time limit we’re under is making it somewhat difficult to concentrate.”

Just as she was about to start yelling at him, it hit her. Puppeteers. “Wait, I’ve read a book about this. Don’t you just disenchant them?”

“If it was that easy, they would be nearly useless.”

“No, there’s a specific spot on their body that is weak against it. Right behind the neck, if I remember right. You have to hit that spot in its exact center or the spell won’t work.”

Discord smiled and shook his head. “Unbelievable. You are absolutely correct. Wait here.”

He took her out of the harness without the aid of magic and jumped into the sky, flying straight for the neck of the golem. Levitation had to be in use since the golem turned to face him. Rarity watched Discord vanish behind the golem’s neck. It swatted the area Discord was in with its hand as if he were a mosquito. The golem used two fingers to pick a familiar figure from its neck. After confirming its catch, it flung Discord into the ground as hard as it could.

Rarity’s mouth dropped open. Her chest started feeling funny.

The golem swung its hammer over its head and brought it down.

“Discord!” Rarity screamed, which gave away her position.

Her adversary turned to face her. The odds of her winning a fight against it alone were slim to none. All she could hope to do was evade it until she figured out how to beat it. Rarity turned around and started galloping, determined to find a new hiding place.

Chapter 10

Business at the shop had been fruitful in Rarity’s absence. Three clients wanted to see her the moment she was available. One desperately needed another makeover, the second patron desired a dress on the floor in a different size, and the final customer hoped she would design banners for a new settlement known as Townsville. All reacted well when Applejack placed them in Rarity’s queue since they knew her services were always in demand. While she could squeeze one of them in, she chose not to. Something could still go wrong with the other two projects she was currently juggling.

Adorning the head of the mannequin wearing Rain’s wedding dress with the crown of white gold gave Rarity the unique and far to brief rush that came with completing a project. Relief mixed with pride to provide a soothing sensation that made her forget the pain of all the effort that had gone into making the dress. It was her best work yet and she saw no need to make any further adjustments. All that remained was the opinion of her client.

When her bedtime arrived, Rarity chose to sleep with the orange saddlebag containing the ingredients required to bake Spike’s snack. Just to be safe. Crumbs fell out and scratched against her sheets. She didn’t care. The confidence she had in her hidden safe had lessened after what Discord had done to it and the bed was due to be washed anyway. Worries about the following day threatened to compromise the quality of her beauty rest, but her fatigue quickly became stronger than her anxiety. While the swirl of doubt could have been a mere prelude to a night of frightful visions, it instead brought about her reoccurring dream where sequins and slap bracelets were all the rage again, which was somewhere two miles south of a nightmare for her.

The morning found her twenty minutes before her alarm would have. At some point during the night, her body had gotten tired of nuzzling the saddlebag and bucked it out of bed. The strap remained fastened to her left hind leg. Rarity undid it with a single kick. The latch had come undone, but nothing was on the floor. She could see the void of the bottomless bag staring back at her.

Rarity also noticed her bedroom door was open wide enough for Opal to enter.

She sat bolt upright in bed. “Opal? Are you in here, darling?”

No response. She got out of bed, grabbed her saddlebag with her aura, and searched through it. Opal appeared from the magical pouch clinging to a chunk of celevite for dear life, screeching at the top of her lungs. The second the gem was lowered to the carpet, she ran underneath Rarity’s bed. Not wanting to get attacked, Rarity took a step back and used her aura to lift the sheets off the ground to get a look at her cat. Opal’s claws were hooked into the carpet, which kept her in place while she quivered violently in silent terror. The look in her eyes suggested she finally understood what curiosity did to cats.

Rarity pitied her, even though Opal was at fault. They were both fortunate Discord had made certain oxygen was available in whatever dimension had been appropriated for storage.

“Opal, after you’ve had a chance to calm down, be sure to come downstairs and have breakfast. I’ll have some of your favorite snacks ready.”

After setting aside a buffet for Opal and finishing a mango pineapple smoothie, she prepared to face the intense heat she would encounter inside Rocky’s shop with Rogue Damsel. Looking as fabulous as ever, she inspected her shop floor to ensure everything was in sellable condition before Applejack arrived. Some items needed to be folded. She rearranged a few more to keep the atmosphere interesting despite the lack of new stock. There was still a bit too much on display, but that would only be for one more day.

The representative from Townsville left three envelopes stuffed full of documents for her to examine when she had the time. Rarity took them from behind her counter and carried them up to the room containing the wedding dress. She set the envelopes down and gave the dress another examination in case her previous assumption had been incorrect. Some of her confidence dissipated. Another set of eyes could be put to use. It was both a blessing and a curse to have the full, unwavering trust of a client. Some day in the future, she would need to deal with another customer that absolutely hated what she had come up with and she still hadn’t developed a strategy she felt comfortable using when the situation finally occurred.

Satisfied that she had done the best job she could, Rarity turned to the crisp envelopes. Everything she needed had been packed inside. Maps, photographs, measurements, and twenty pages detailing why the settlement had been founded were bundled with a sketch of the form desired for the banners. This would be her next big project and there was no harm in getting an unofficial head start.

She became so absorbed in her work that she failed to keep track of the time. Applejack announced her presence by knocking forcefully on the front door. Rarity rushed out of the room, being sure to lock it before heading into the parlor and letting Applejack inside.

Applejack had a saddlebag with her. “Mornin’. Ready for your big day?”

“Not really. I’m a bit worried. Karat hasn’t written me back.”

Applejack waited to see if Rarity had more to add before responding. “Well, maybe he’s just real busy. Hearth’s Warmin’ Eve will be here before too long. Plenty of stallions might be fixin’ to propose.”

Rarity chuckled. “Hopefully. Or perhaps Trottingham is under siege by pirates. Maybe a vampire has subjugated the town, threatening to unleash a horde of undead familiars before help arrives if word happens to get out. A mysterious fog might have rolled in out of nowhere thanks in no small part to cultists practicing forbidden rituals in their basements and everyone living there is being forced to confront their darkest fears as we speak.”

Applejack rolled her eyes. “Goodness gracious. That last bit hasn’t happened in ages. You’re just havin’ a bad week. You’ve been on too many adventures in too little time and it’s got your brain pan all haywire. Can’t say I blame you, but you’re thinkin’ too much. If anything was seriously wrong with Trottingham, we would have already dealt with it.”

“I suppose you’re right.”

“The worst thing that could happen would be for you to get there and it turns out he closed up shop. That ain’t likely, but if he did, there’s a shop in Canterlot that would probably jump at the chance to have you do a job with their tools.”

“Are you referring to Kaleidoscope?” Rarity asked, to which she received a nod. “Oh, no. I couldn’t go there. Igneous Fault doesn’t think very much of me.”

“Why? What happened?”

“We were both at a soiree and she managed to misidentify all the gems another guest was wearing. I jumped in and respectfully pointed out that she had had too much cider so she wouldn’t look like an idiot.”

“And now she pretends you don’t exist, right? What a twit. My point still stands, though. There’s got to be some other shop out there that has the equipment you need to get the job done if Karat ain’t available.” Applejack put her saddlebag on the counter next to the register. “Discord asked me to grab some onyx from the marketplace the other day and bring it with me today, so here it is.”

Rarity couldn’t believe she had forgotten to pick up onyx, especially after her bedroom had been flooded with it. “My goodness. That completely slipped my mind. How much did you spend? I’ll reimburse you.”

“No need. He gave me some money to buy it for you. Yes, it was real. I asked him where it came from. He said he’s done a few big favors for Celestia and Luna since he turned good. Wouldn’t say what they were, but I reckon they had to be worth somethin’ if he was paid for ‘em.”

Opalescence screeched from the top of the stairs. She took them two at a time, falling over herself to get away from something. Discord appeared, wearing a nightgown that looked exactly like the one Rarity set aside for snowy evenings when the holidays were on their way. The pink sleep cap didn’t resemble anything in her wardrobe and clashed heavily with the gown. He carried one of Rarity’s spare pillows in one arm and had her orange saddlebag slung across his other shoulder.

Discord yawned. "I know you two aren’t in elementary school anymore, but that doesn’t mean you had to abandon the use of an inside voice when you don’t happen to be outside.”

Applejack scoffed. “Should we be passin’ notes instead?”

“Yes. I’m a very light sleeper. Speaking of which, you snore, Rarity, but only when you roll over on your back. I hear they have something to help you with that if you’re above nasal strips.”

Low-tier bait at its finest. Rarity smiled. “My, aren’t we a little grumpy. You didn’t have to show up early if you didn’t want to. I do have some coffee, if you need it.”

Discord grunted. A tankard filled to the brim with a caramel frappe appeared in his lion paw. “Perhaps I may have overreacted. My apologies. Last night was rather long.”

Applejack wasn’t impressed. “They have herbs for that. Maybe even a spell or two.”

Discord slurped from his straw loud enough to convey he had no interest in listening to Applejack. Her freckles started turning red.

Rarity needed to carry the conversation forward. “Did you really sleep here last night?”

“Yes. Where? Your walk-in closet had just enough room on the floor for me to crash inside a sleeping bag. Why? Just in case there really was a thief who happened to be a repeat customer. It’s a pity that there wasn’t. I would have had fun with him. Her. It. How come I picked last night in particular? I don’t know about you, but I’m not too interested in taking on another golem again until this year is out.”

The onyx in Applejack’s saddlebag floated out of it and into the bag Discord wore over his shoulder.

“You’re welcome,” Applejack said.

Discord leered at her. “Shall we include your name on the label?”

“No. This didn’t take any effort.”

“Then why should I thank you?”

Rarity forced herself to laugh elegantly before Applejack bucked Discord’s tankard straight into his face. “Oh, Discord. Your dry wit is only surpassed by your randomness. Demonstrating either on Applejack is completely unnecessary. Be nice. It will do you good.”

“Believe me, there’s enough room in my heart for all of you, but it doesn’t help that she makes it so easy. Shouldn’t a country mare have thicker skin?”

Steam shot out of Applejack’s nostrils. “My skin is plenty thick. You just have a knack for gettin’ under it!”

A mountain bluebird escaped from underneath Applejack’s hat. It chirped as it flew around in circles, looking for a place to land. The bird settled on an ear of a mannequin dressed in an outfit from Rarity’s new winter line. A mountain bluebird in Ponyville was unheard of, but they were common in Trottingham.

Applejack took off her hat, looked inside of it, and dropped it to the floor while uttering a cry of surprise. The hole that sat around her head had become a portal aimed at the morning sky. Her mane had been mistaken for a caterpillar of some exotic variety, summoning the bluebird to investigate.

Discord’s clothing and tankard vanished. “Good, our ride is here.”

“What do you mean?” Rarity asked, staring at the bird.

He whistled in a peculiar manner. The mountain bluebird stood at attention and nodded with a violent jerk of its head. Discord clapped his claw and paw together twice and Rarity’s shop began to seem a lot larger than usual. It took her a second to figure out that she had shrank. Applejack’s footsteps thundered against the floor louder than the golems as she rushed to the front door to avoid any possibility of stepping on them.

The bluebird, which was now the size the golem had been to them, swooped down from its perch and grabbed Rarity with its feet. Discord hitched a ride in the other foot. Rarity hastily pulled her mane free from any snags as they soared through the opening in Applejack’s hat. Chilly air greeted them in the outskirts of Trottingham. A quick view of the rapidly approaching ground revealed it had snowed recently.

Rarity fell into the snow, leaving a small dent behind. Discord was right by her side. As she got up, she watched bluebird rejoin its friends in the sky.

“Did you learn that trick from Fluttershy?” Rarity asked.

Discord chuckled. “Where else?”

They quickly expanded to their normal size, drawing screams of alarm from a traveling caravan accompanied by soldiers for hire. Rarity smiled and waved. It set them at ease. Before she could be recognized, she turned and began walking down the road towards Trottingham, which were clear of snow.

Confined to an island in Northern Equestria, Trottingham was known as a pleasant hamlet aloof to the comings and goings of the rest of the world. Those who needed modern conveniences could always book their vacations elsewhere. If ever there were a place to truly get away from it all, Trottingham was it.

Autumns and winters could get quite cold, which had spurred much of those who chose to settle in the area into quilting. Quilts imported from Trottingham were highly regarded and quite expensive. The beautiful designs often present in them had convinced Rarity to spend two weeks in Trottingham as part of her tour across Equestria.

She had met Karat during that time since his parents owned the best tavern in town. His mastery of jewelry gave Trottingham something else to be known for. Karat didn’t have to go very far to get his supplies. The island had been lucky enough to inherit a large quantity of diamonds during its formation thousands of years ago.

Trottingham also had really great food.

The lower temperature had gotten through Rarity’s coat. “Do you think you could conjure up an ushanka, boots, and a scarf? If so, please make sure they match.”

Discord grunted and snapped his eagle talons together. The outfit she had in mind materialized on her. No gags had been added to it at her expense.

“Aren’t you going to wear something warm?” Rarity asked.

“No need. I’ll be covered in sweat before the hour is over. I also run about five degrees hotter than most creatures. We should take this opportunity to discuss what lies ahead. We’re going to put a low-level enchantment on our gem. Don’t worry, it’s nothing fancy. The gem will taste fine on its own, but we can get it to taste a little better with a simple spell that has been long forgotten. Have you ever noticed that food tastes better when it is made by someone you have a fondness for? Providing they are good at cooking, of course.”

“I have. I would argue that my mother makes the best banana bread in all of Equestria.”

“Precisely. That is the nature of the enchantment we will soon be using. While it’s active, you’ll need to reflect on everything that has led up to this point. There was a point to all the silly challenges you were forced to overcome over the past few days. This is it.”

Rarity stopped in her tracks and gawked. Discord turned to face her.

She shook her head. “And here I thought all of that was purely for your own sick amusement.”

“To be honest, it was a two for one deal.”

“Even that dreadful golem?”

He chuckled and walked ahead of her. “It served its purpose.”

Rarity followed him. “I’m glad all that wasn’t in vain, then. Is that really all you need from me? I was hoping I could be a bit more help, especially when it came to cutting the gem.”

“You can leave that to me. Incidentally, did you have a particular shape in mind?”

“Yes. The heart pattern.”

Discord laughed. “I figured that’s what you would want. I’ve been experimenting with topaz since the night we agreed to do this project together. I slowed down time in my private dimension enough to give myself six months of practice.”

She gasped. “Do you mean to say that you’ve lived half a year in less than a week?”

“It went by very quickly and it was my decision. One of us had to learn how to cook this treat in less than a day using magic in a manner that wouldn’t affect its taste and my initial understanding of the skills necessary to make this dream a reality were more limited than I care to admit.”

“That’s an awful lot of effort for Spike’s birthday present.”

“Well, I didn’t do it for him. I did it for you.” Discord clenched his teeth and let out a sigh. “Oh, dear. What am I saying? You’ve grown on me. Like a cyst that doesn’t get in the way.”

Rarity arched an eyebrow at the sudden change in tone. “I would have put it more eloquently if I had said it myself, but I agree. Is that why your mood was particularly foul this morning? Do you dread the end of our partnership in this endeavor?”

Discord shook with the effort to speak. “Yes. You could never hope to replace Fluttershy, so you’ll have to settle on being my second bestie. I hope our unexpectedly festive dynamic can continue passed today. Happy? Do be sure to tell all your friends, especially Applejack.”

Rarity scoffed, but smiled. “We don’t have to stop being nice to each other after all of this is over with. That’d be preposterous. Are you really that new to the concept of friendship?”

“I am not. I just didn’t know if you felt the same way about me.”

She smirked, held her head high, and walked passed him. “You’re a bit rough around the edges, but you keep things interesting. That’s all anyone ever needs. You should be nicer to Applejack, though.”

“Where’s the fun in that?”

Rarity had to roll her eyes. Up ahead, she spotted a building at the main entrance into the city that she couldn’t recall seeing her first time there. Equestria’s national flag hung low in the absence of wind at the top of a pole beside the guard post. With all the problems happening lately, they were even popping up in smaller settlements. Just in case. Trained soldiers capable of handling a variety of scenarios were expected to aid the town watch in the event of an emergency.

A yelp followed by a great commotion came from the guard post as they entered Trottingham. They stopped just as a unicorn stallion burst out the front door of the post. He wore a light gray cape with a brooch featuring an eclipse. The outfit marked how talented he was with magic. Intermediates were not as good as masters, but their skills could get them through active duty.

“Halt!” the unicorn ordered as he marched over to stand in front of the mismatched pair. “What business do you have in Trottingham, Discord?”

Rarity intervened before the boys could compare the size of their egos. “It’s alright. He’s with me. We’re here to visit Karat. He’s expecting us.”

A pair of glasses with a white frame appeared on the stallion’s face. One lens was tinted red while the other was blue. “You aren’t a clone.” The glasses vanished and he looked carefully at Rarity’s eyes. “You don’t seem to be under his control. Don’t tell me you’re with him voluntarily.”

Rarity backed away a step to get his muzzle out of her face. “I am. We’re working on a project together. There’s no need to be alarmed.”

The stallion rolled his eyes. “Great. He’s still on our side, then? That’s good. I’d hate for him to change his mind. Again. Carry on.”

He had a point, but Rarity wasn’t going to admit it in front of Discord.

Discord rushed forward to defend his honor before the stallion could leave. “Wait. I simply must ask. If I had indeed been up to no good, would you have stopped me?”

Only a tiny smidgen of doubt crossed the stallion’s face. “I would have tried.”

Discord gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Bravery such as yours is an asset to any military.”

The unicorn’s cloak vanished and was replaced with a shirt that had ‘I Stood Up to Discord and All I Got Was This Stupid Shirt’ written across its front. Discord walked away from him laughing loud enough to draw ponies out of their houses.

Rarity could tell the confidence of the mage had been shattered and attempted to boost it. “He’s right, you know. You did nothing wrong.”

The stallion nodded and headed back into the guard post with his head lowered in shame.

Rarity caught up with Discord. “This is just a suggestion, but you could try being more polite to those of us who aren’t lucky enough to be Elements.”

Discord stopped to wave at a group of foals making pegasi in the snow. They all retreated into an igloo they had made. Discord gestured toward the igloo and waited for Rarity to say something.

“These things take time,” Rarity said.

The texture of the igloo changed from snow to a hard, shiny material. It shattered, scattering pieces of different sizes everywhere and revealing a group of foals huddled together in a colorful ball. Being young, it didn’t take them long to realize they were surrounded by candy. Discord waved again. The friendly gesture was rewarded with nervous smiles and limp wiggles of dominant forelegs.

“Happy?” Discord asked.

“It’s a good start.”

“Perhaps if I’m lucky I’ll get the chance to save Equestria with you girls and you won’t have to feel embarrassed about taking me out in public.”

Rarity barked a laugh. “I am not at all embarrassed. I’m just concerned about your image.”

“Would you like me to change into Twilight again?”

“No!”

Discord walked down the streets as if he knew where he was going. “I know what you’re actually worried about. You’re concerned I won’t like Karat. Let me ask you this. If you were to add all his brain cells together, would you get a negative number?”

“Could you please just make an effort to respect him even if you can’t stand him?”

“Anything for you, my dear.”

Their presence didn’t go unnoticed as they made their way further downtown. There was a pace, pose, and expression that silently conveyed she didn’t have time to sign autographs. When she felt the eyes coming off her and traveling to her companion, she noticed him mimicking her. Discord walked with his spine completely straight and had his head hidden in a cloud. It barely concealed his protruded lower lip. Rarity smirked and let him have his fun.

Karat’s workshop was passed the hustle and bustle of the downtown district near the lumber yard and quarry. Though formally known as She Said Yes, no such name was inscribed on the stone building. Instead, a sign made of metal bearing an engraving of a square cut diamond was out in front among the remains of a garden that flourished during warmer months.

Two entrances were available. One was through a red door with a window that had a sign pinned to it with a suction cup inviting potential customers to step inside. A bay area leading directly to the workroom was off to the right. The door had been kept open to let in the cold air. Hammers collided with metal, drowning out a few indistinct conversations. Ever conscious of proper etiquette, Rarity entered through the shop. A bell above the door chimed merrily.

Rose scented candles were placed in the corners of the shop. Pendants, bracelets, earrings, and other assorted jewelry were on display in cases separated by affordability. Items rested on stands placed on blue cloth. Rarity counted four full-length mirrors as she moved to the front counter without Discord, who had become distracted by engagement rings that few mares could resist.

An earth stallion wearing an expensive suit that was far from generic stepped into the room from behind an opening covered with a purple curtain.

“Good afternoon.” The stallion noticed Discord first. Once he spotted Rarity, the uncertainty in his face faded. “Hello, Rarity.”

Rarity stood across the counter from the stallion. “Hello. Who might you be?”

“I’m Karat’s little brother, Peridot. You might not remember me.”

She did. They hadn’t spoken much, but that didn’t matter. Rarity treated him as if they had seen each other yesterday. “Of course I do. You’ve grown, so I didn’t immediately recognize you. My apologies. Has Karat left you in charge of the shop?”

Peridot bristled with pride. “He has. It turns out I’m pretty good at getting customers to leave with something of ours in tow.”

“I imagine that suit must help. If I may ask, who designed it?”

“It’s custom. A designer named Lily Lace made it for me while I was in Manehattan half a year ago.”

“I don’t believe I’ve ever heard of her. I’ll have to remember that name.”

Discord slammed an engagement ring and the necklace it would dangle from on the counter. Both were loaded with enough diamonds to make any mare faint. “How much for these?”

Peridot smiled, sliding back into his role as head of sales. “Is the necklace the correct size?”

“Are you implying I know nothing of the mare I wish to buy this for?”

Peridot wasn’t phased. “Certainly not. I am just checking. Since it doesn’t have to be resized, it’s a hundred thousand bits.”

Rarity grinned. Fluttershy would be too embarrassed to accept the ring, but Discord would make her keep it anyway.

She had to say something. “Discord! If you want to buy something for Fluttershy, that’s your business. However, that is an engagement ring. You do know what those are used for, right?”

“It can’t double as a normal ring?”

“No. It absolutely cannot.”

Discord picked up the ring and began twirling it around his eagle talon. “Then what’s the difference between this trinket and a regular ring?”

Rarity looked around the shop to make sure they were still alone. “It is far more expensive.”

“Is that all?”

“Essentially. Aside from clearly being a ring bought for the purpose of proposing marriage.”

Several gold bars stacked neatly on top of each other appeared next to Peridot.

“Keep the change,” Discord said.

Peridot had to loosen his collar. “Shall I gift wrap that for you, sir?”

“Please. A black box with a pink ribbon would work rather nicely.”

Rarity gave up. It was none of her business. At the very least, she wouldn’t have to be in the room when Discord presented the ring to Fluttershy.

“Incidentally, may I ask how you got that out of its case by yourself?” Peridot asked.

“Like this.” Discord reached through the glass case covering the counter with the aid of magic and plucked out a pocket watch made from titanium.

“That’s a neat trick,” Peridot said.

Discord placed the watch back where it belonged. “I’m a lot of fun at parties.”

Rarity had heard enough. It was time to get back to the task at hoof. “Peridot, did Rocky happen to receive the letter I sent him?”

Peridot nodded. “Oh, that’s right. Yes, he did. We got hit with an early blizzard, so we couldn’t get any mail in or out. He’s expecting you. You can get to the shop through the back room. Step behind the counter and follow me.”

Peridot scooped up Fluttershy’s gift in one hoof and headed into the room beyond the purple curtain with Rarity right behind him. A section of the room was devoted to gift wrapping. Plenty of materials were available to achieve just the right effect. Four large safes were nearby, likely containing extra wares. Rarity spotted the couch where Peridot rested when there were no customers. A copy of Twilight’s book concerning the Salamander culture was on a coffee table next to a notebook and a pencil.

After placing Fluttershy’s engagement ring and necklace on the table near the wrapping supplies, Peridot moved over to a sliding door in the corner of the room where noise from the workshop could be heard more clearly. Heat blasted Rarity right in the face when the way into the workshop was clear. The smell of sweat mixed with melting stone filled the air. Some of the ponies working at their stations looked up to see who had arrived.

Peridot shouted over the noise of labor. “Karat! You’ve got a visitor!”

An earth stallion in the middle of repairing a broken necklace stopped working and took off his protective mask. Karat was as rugged and unkempt as he had been when Rarity had first met him. Stallions rarely changed anything they didn’t have to. She noted the bags under his eyes, which suggested he had taken on more work than needed to make up for the time he didn’t have as much business out of season. Rarity empathized with him, but it beat having to do something out of necessity rather than love.

Karat produced a bright smile despite his fatigue. “Rarity! Been a while, huh? Haven’t seen you since before you were a big shot.” Still smiling, his eyes drifted to Discord. “Ahh, there he is. The single greatest threat to Equestria and the world as we know it. Walking around freely like he owns the place. What a sight.”

Rarity gulped. She looked at Discord, her eyes pleading him to be polite. Discord snapped his eagle talons together. Karat’s bloodshot eyes cleared up and he stood up straighter. His mouth dropped open in surprise as he tried to figure out where all his fatigue had just gone.

Discord ruffled Karat’s mane. “You’re too kind. Could you direct me to the space you have reserved for those of us who prefer magic over iron?”

Karat fixed his mane. “You a firebug, then?”

“I’m afraid I’m not familiar with that term.”

“It’s what we in this business call those who use magic to do our job. They often overestimate themselves just because they can finish the job faster than the rest of us. I only met four firebugs who were good enough to work for me. Been a while since the last one was through here. Spot’s been vacant for nearly a year. How long have you been at it, then? Are you able to put your heart into it? You’ll only be wasting your time if you can’t.”

“I think my work will speak for itself.”

Karat snorted and turned his attention to Rarity. “I’ll be frank. If he churns out a hunk of gravel, I won’t be surprised. I hope you brought enough materials for a second run. I could easily make what you need for a discounted price, but it probably won’t be done in time for the party. Better late than never, though, right?”

Discord scoffed. “What’s with this attitude, Karat? Give me a chance. I’m reformed. Didn’t I just give you eight hours of sleep in a single second?”

Karat narrowed his eyes. “That you did. I needed it. And you’re right. I was a bit blunt. Fine, I’ll change my tune, but that doesn’t mean I don’t get to criticize the quality of what you intend to produce today.”

“How about we make a bet?” Discord asked. “If I make something that blows you away, you have to make a bronze statue in my image and ship it to Neighpal. It will have to look good. I’ll need an engraving, too.”

Karat looked appalled. “That’s quite an ante. What do I get if you lose?”

“I’ll tell you where you can get more of this.” Discord reached into the orange saddlebag slung across his shoulder and pulled out a large piece of lunatoite. He added a flurry of sparkles around it to be even more pretentious.

A few tools hit the floor. Someone cried out. Work stopped as everyone crowded around Karat to lay eyes upon what Discord held.

Karat kept himself composed. “Little good that would do me. The right thing to do would be to report the location to Celestia. Our military needs it more than I do.”

The flap of Discord’s saddlebag drew itself back as a tongue shot out of the pouch, stuck itself to the lunatoite floating in the air, and pulled it into the bag.

“You don’t think she would give you a reasonable share for being a loyal citizen?” Discord asked.

“How much would be considered reasonable?” Karat asked.

“Twenty percent.”

Karat considered the offer. “Fine. It’s a bet.”

“Wonderful. Show me where I can get started.”

Karat turned around. “Walk this way.”

The noise produced by stretching rubber came from Discord’s body as everything but his head morphed into the form of an earth stallion to match Rocky’s stride in order to take his suggestion as literally as possible. Rarity allowed it since he was doing such a good job of pretending to get along with Karat. Their short journey ended at the other end of the building.

White runes that weren’t as worn as the rest of the floor formed a large protective square around the area they would be working in. Rarity only recognized two of them from her time at school, but the function they performed couldn’t be easier to infer. They kept the mage from worrying about damaging their surrounding area.

“I had this done by a grand master,” Karat said. “It’s the best of its kind, as is the equipment.”

The tools Karat mentioned were rudimentary since magic would be doing most of the work. A circular grindstone separated from a spinning mechanism laid on the ground next to a ten-gallon jug filled with water. They had access to a regular furnace. Judging by how clean it was, nobody had used it in a while.

Discord morphed back into his natural form, deliberately failing to censor the sickening noise of all his bones rearranging themselves. He lifted a set of protective goggles from a hook on the wall and tossed them at Rarity. She tried to catch it in her aura, but it ignored her command and automatically affixed itself to her face. Discord created a pair of goggles to protect his eyes since none of what was available would fit on him and tossed the orange saddlebag just outside the barrier.

Rarity noticed the staff of Karat’s shop had gathered around the area. Peridot was even among them. All were wearing goggles to protect their eyes.

Karat approached Rarity. “Mind if we watch? You’re working with lunatoite, so it should be a good show.”

Rarity gestured to Discord. “It’s up to him. Do you mind, Discord?”

Discord shook his head. “Not at all. I’d love to have an audience.”

Karat smirked. “You sure? Last thing a jeweler with a touch of magic needs is all this extra pressure.”

“Karat, I have done all my best work under pressure.”

“Come off it. You and I both know that’s a lie.”

“Is it, though?”

Karat sighed. “I hope you’re at least half as good as you think you are or this is going to be a train wreck.”

Rarity had heard enough. “Rocky, I have a part to play in this as well and your pomposity is making me nervous. Discord hasn’t been doing this for as long as you have, but I trust him. Everything is going to turn out fine.”

Rocky sighed. “Okay, okay. You won’t hear so much as a peep out of us. Carry on. Good luck.”

The saddlebag wiggled. Discord pointed at Rarity and winked. She took the gesture as her cue to begin thinking about Spike. It was best to start from the beginning. A significant portion of onyx floated out of the saddlebag as she recalled how they met when Twilight had first come to Ponyville. She could have never imagined becoming good friends with a dragon back in those days. At the time, it would have seemed equally as unlikely as becoming a renowned icon in the fashion industry. Or an asset to Equestria.

A chunk of celevite joined the onyx. Intense heat filled their cubicle as Discord fused the two gems together. Sweat formed underneath Rarity’s coat. Her arch nemesis had returned. There was never any way to get away from it. Even sewing could get a little intense at times. Rarity caught herself before she ruined the project by letting her mind wander.

Rarity rushed through all her memories of Spike, trying to relive all the best possible moments she had of him. It was tempting to stick with the few she held closest to her heart, but she suspected doing so might have a negative effect on the flavor. Lunatoite floated out of the saddlebag. Whispers were drawn from the crowd. Onyx, lunatoite, and celevite combined into a single, glowing sphere.

Only one more ingredient remained. Rarity shifted all her focus to the determination that had carried her through the challenges she had faced to procure the gems they were melting together. She wanted to give him the best gift she possibly could. Spike deserved it. If she really had to, she would go through it all over again. Even if it meant dealing with something much worse than the golem.

Her concentration broke at the sound of a pig squealing in terror as it was pulled from the saddlebag. Rarity shook her head. Discord placed the pig back into the bag and pulled out the enchantable moonstone. To once again set fire to the emotions in her heart, Rarity remembered what it had taken to crawl through the cave at Yellow Rock park. She blended it with the mood that had powered her to chase after Marigold Wisp. The resolve it had taken to escape from the golem was icing on the cake. It seemed a bit much to use such terms, but they were technically cooking.

A hole opened in the center of the glowing sphere. Placing the moonstone inside of it required great precision. Discord took his time. A protection spell had been cast on the moonstone to keep it from melting as it slowly approached the tunnel it needed to travel through. Discord stopped right before the moonstone entered the hole, muttered something underneath his breath, and corrected a detail Rarity failed to notice. The moonstone vanished from view as the hole it had entered filled itself in.

The temperature around them dropped as Discord cooled the gem. Mixing everything together and creating a basic shape had been simple. Once the gem hardened, it didn’t look nearly as fabulous as it had when Discord had pulled it out of thin air a few days earlier. The flecks of blue mixed in with the onyx reminded Rarity of black opal. No swirling galaxy was present in the center of the gem. Rarity stopped herself. Discord wasn’t finished. Or worried.

Faceting the gem came next. The grindstone levitated into the air and began spinning. Water would be needed to control the heat produced from using it. Discord positioned the jug of water above the grindstone and tipped it over. A hole had been cut into the cap, which allowed only a few drops to escape at a time. It was a bit simple, but he didn’t complain.

Discord positioned the gem to the right of the spinning grindstone, angled it, and began cutting. It was difficult not to be memorized by how quickly he was blazing through the job. His methods were crude, but he did the work with the confidence of an expert.

Before Rarity knew it, the gem had taken on the form she desired. Discord switched to polishing when Rarity closed her eyes to avoid becoming distracted by his performance and resumed her mental celebration of the friendship she held with Spike.

An eagle talon booped her on the muzzle, breaking her concentration. The gem floated in front of her. It had been polished it to a mirror sheen.

“Don’t get too excited, it’s not quite finished,” Discord said. “There’s one last step and it’s only something you can do. With Spike in mind, kiss the center of the gem.”

Rarity blushed. Profusely. “Is there a right way and a wrong way to do this?”

“Nope. Just keep him in your heart and give the gem a smooch. Whenever you’re ready, Rarity.”

Her heart fluttered. The sudden surge of emotions hadn’t been expected. She bit down on her lips to keep them from quivering. Any old kiss would do, but she needed to make it the best one she had ever given. Discord hadn’t said anything, but she knew how she felt would have some effect on whatever happened next.

There was no need for such excitement. They were friends. Not ordinary friends, though. The term might even be too casual. Rarity could trust Spike and he could trust her. If he were ever in a real jam, she would be there for him. He would also offer whatever help he could if she happened to find trouble. Rarity knew many people, but there were only a few she could honestly trust. That meant something.

Her lips touched the gem. It was still warm.

The peck she gave it changed the mood of the entire room.

A muffled pop came from the gem, followed by a flash of light bright enough to blind her. Gasps came from their audience. Something impressive had occurred. It didn’t take long for her vision to clear. The galaxy she had hoped for was in the center of the gem, only it looked far more beautiful than she had expected. It even rotated, which was an effect that hadn’t been present in the one Discord had made.

Discord took off his goggles and levitated the gem in front of himself to get a better look at it. “Color me surprised. It moves. My spell must have been off when I made this on my own. Good thing we did it the hard way, huh?”

Rarity put her goggles away and grabbed the gem from him with her aura so she could continue ogling it. She would need to take plenty of pictures before Spike ate it after finishing his cake and ice cream.

Discord shoved a mirror in front of her muzzle. “Pardon me, Rarity, but do your eyes happen to be turning green?”

He altered her reflection to match his comment. By some odd coincidence, he had picked moss green. Memories of Trixie were enough to bring her out of any trance. She pushed the mirror out of her face and gave the gem to Discord.

“Don’t be silly. Can you really blame me? This is the only gem of its kind in existence right now.”

“That reminds me.”

The gem flew over to Karat and settled above an end table that came sliding into view with a screech and the aroma of burning wood. A nearby window rattled until the glass inside of it separated from its frame. The shape of the glass altered from a square to a circle. It flew over to the gem, magnifying it by an enormous amount for those on the right side of the glass.

Discord pulled a giant party popper out from the fabric of the universe and aimed it at the ceiling. “What do you think, Karat?”

Karat clicked his tongue. “I think I lost a bet.”

Gummy bugs rained down on Karat’s crew. The more courageous of his employees tried them and nodded in approval.

“Wish I could give you some constructive criticism, but I can’t.” Karat pulled a gummy cicada out of his mane. “I thought you were out of your mind when you started combining different gemstones into one. I can’t believe you managed to do that using heat without ruining the whole project.”

Discord scoffed. “How I combined the gems is a little more complicated than that.”

“I believe it. Anyway. Peridot, how much bronze do we have?”

Peridot swallowed a piece of a sugary earwig in his hoof. “Enough to make his statue using normal proportions.”

Trying to save Karat time by getting Discord to retract the bet would only encourage him to uphold his word, so Rarity remained quiet.

“Splendid!” Discord pulled out a photo of himself holding a watermelon above his head with his eagle claw. “I know you’ll do a fine job. Be sure to put me on a good base. If you look on the back, you’ll find what I’d like to have engraved on the plate.”

Karat turned the photo around and read Discord’s message aloud. “The free market never fails.” He blinked. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“They’ll get it.”

“Whatever you say, boss. I won’t be able to work on it for three months, but once I can fit it into my schedule, I don’t think it will take very long to finish.”

“Don’t say that,” Rarity said. “You might jinx yourself.”

“Aye, you’re right. I might get caught up on his lion paw for longer than I’d like. You don’t plan on carrying your present back to Ponyville in that saddlebag, do you? We can make a case for it. Right away, in fact.”

“What colors would you like?” Peridot asked.

Discord interjected before Rarity could think of a reply. “A white box with a light blue bow and a purple insert.”

Rarity groaned. “Shouldn’t you know by now that it’s considered tacky for a pony to use their own colors for anything?”

“I’m aware of that,” Discord replied. “You’ll throw everyone off while saving yourself the trouble of constructing a label. All of them will have a giggle and wonder why you didn’t ask Pinkie Pie for help. Picture the look on their faces when Spike reveals his present to the rest of them. They will all agree you made the right choice by following my advice. There is no other combination of colors that will have the same impact as your own for this particular gift.”

“Shall I ask them to put my mark on either side of the box as well?”

“It would help to drive the point home even further if you did.”

Rarity stretched out her hind leg to highlight her mark for Peridot. “Can you draw this?”

Peridot nodded. “Very easily.”

“Have it done, then. Make sure you don’t confuse the sides for the front and back of the box.”

A cart with a squeaky wheel controlled by Discord arrived in front of Rarity. It held a red pillow. The gem set itself on the pillow and sped off towards the front of the shop.

Discord brought a party horn into existence which he blew in Rarity’s face. “Congratulations. It’s done. Truly, you are the Element of Generosity. Shall we celebrate? I hear this town has great mead.”

It was a bit early in the day to be enjoying mead, but her customers wouldn’t notice if she only had one.

“Will you behave?” Rarity asked.

Discord placed his lion paw on his heart. “I promise to behave.”

Rarity turned to Karat. “Would you like to come with us?”

“Of course. Who wouldn’t want to have a drink with an Element of Harmony?” Karat replied.

“I’ll have your box ready in under an hour so you can get home quickly,” Peridot said.

“You can join us at the tavern, if you’d like,” Rarity said.

“Yes. The more the merrier,” Discord added. “Your minions look like they could use an early dismissal, Karat.”

“So be it,” Karat said. “We’ll wrap things up over here and meet you two at my parents’ tavern in no more than thirty minutes.”

Chapter 11

The box bearing her colors was in the same spot it had been inside of her saddlebag the first three times she had looked to be absolutely sure she had it after Discord stopped showing it off.

Rarity opened the front door of the tavern, stirring up some confetti that was on the floor. “Until next time, boys!”

Karat and his crew raised their mugs to her and cheered. Rarity turned to the front and found herself looking at a mannequin wearing a familiar wedding dress. The warm tavern that smelled like caramel, honey, and popcorn where she had spent almost two hours chatting with Karat while Discord amused everyone with copies of himself playing jazz up on stage was no longer behind her. Her hallway was. Rarity checked her saddlebag again and couldn’t find Spike’s present.

She heard the muffled sound of a metal door slamming nearby. The secret door at the end of the corridor opened.

Discord stepped out from the hidden room, still wearing a hat that allowed him to drink two bottles of mead at once. “Already taken care of.” He turned to wander into her bedroom, slammed into the door, fumbled with the handle, and lurched out of view.

Rarity found him lying in her bed. He hadn’t bothered elongating it to accommodate his body.

Discord extended his lion paw to her, which held an envelope. “Here’s the pictures for your scrapbook.”

She took the envelope in her aura and set it on her bedside table. “Do you want this orange saddlebag back?”

“Nah, keep it.”

“Thanks. I’ll make good use of it.” Rarity set the saddlebag down in her closet.

“You and Karat looked like you were having a great time.”

“Not until we started talking business. I think he might set up a shop here in Ponyville.”

Discord chuckled. “That filly in Canterlot won’t be fond of her new neighbor.”

“I thought you would approve.”

“I do. It stirs up chaos.” He giggled a little too much at his own joke.

“I wouldn’t think of it that way. A little competition never hurt anyone.”

“There’s nothing to compete over. He makes the better jewelry.”

Rarity caught herself smiling. “Maybe. Anyway, I had better get back to work. Before I do, I want to thank you. For everything.”

Discord waved the compliment off. “It was my pleasure, Rarity.”

She stopped before leaving her bedroom and looked back at him. “Can I expect to see you at the birthday party?”

“Sure. I’ll stop by with Fluttershy and all of us can go together.”

“That sounds lovely. I am sure they will want to hear all about how we made that gem. It will take both of us to tell the whole story.”

“We should leave out the part where I impersonated Twilight until after the festivities have concluded.”

“Funny. I had the same thing in mind. Enjoy the rest of your day, Discord.”

He rolled over. “Don’t prick your hoof on a needle.”

Rarity closed the bedroom door behind her and headed for the stairs. She almost pranced. It had been a while since she felt so elated. Everything was perfect. Her high spirits were sure to help her ensure every customer who came in left with something they didn’t know they needed.

A mare’s voice drifted up from the parlor. “When is Rarity going to be back? I need to see her now!”

She smiled. Again. It was a good warm up. A lot more of them would be coming.

“There’s no need to get flustered, she’ll be back by this afternoon,” Applejack said with cautious patience.

“What am I supposed to do until then? Why isn’t she here now? What’s so important? She should be here working on my wedding dress.”

Her hoofs came to such an abrupt stop just before she got to her stairs that she scuffed the floor. There was only one wedding dress in her shop currently in production.

“She’s busy makin’ a gem for a friend. It’s goin’ to be his birthday present.”

“That’s ridiculous. She isn’t a jeweler.”

“You’re right, she ain’t. But she’s gettin’ help from another. . .friend of ours.” Applejack had really dug deep to force that word out.

“Are you making this up?”

“You do know who you’re talkin’ to, right?”

If Ocean Rain smelled the mead on her breath, Rarity’s reputation would suffer. Rarity left her customer in Applejack’s care as she headed back for the master bathroom. Discord was nowhere to be found, but an extra bottle of mead placed inside a bucket of ice had appeared so very mysteriously on her bedside table. She burst into her bathroom and grabbed a bottle of unflavored mouth wash from the medicine cabinet. Rarity filled her mouth up with more of it than she should have, tossed the empty container into a waste basket, and gargled with all the enthusiasm she could muster.

After freshening up her breath, she gave herself a good look in the mirror. Ocean Rain wasn’t just any client. She needed to look her very best. She seized as many beauty related products with her aura as the extent of her magical power allowed. Several minor adjustments to her makeup and a few brush strokes made it less evident that she had been socializing with stallions on a workroom floor. And inside a pub. A quick check of her smile revealed a hidden piece of an apple she’d eaten. She yanked it lose with her aura and washed it down the sink.

Though she wanted to gallop, Rarity forced herself to trot as though nothing were amiss. Her current predicament wasn’t unnatural. It was only a case of bad timing. Ocean Rain didn’t need to know that. Rarity had no reason to be overly excited. Her brain doubled over with the effort required to convince her of the façade she was trying to put on and couldn’t quite still the beating of her heart as she headed downstairs.

Applejack saw Rarity first, put down the note she had taken, and reached out to Ocean Rain just as she opened the front door to leave the store. “Ms. Rain, wait! It looks like Rarity just got back!”

Ocean Rain’s expression lit up with excitement as she turned around and spotted Rarity.

Rarity stood just a bit behind and off to the side where she normally would have if she hadn’t waited until the late afternoon to begin enjoying mead. “Ocean Rain, what a surprise! It’s a joy to see you, darling. Please excuse me. I just got back from Trottingham via teleportation.”

“You were that far away?” Rain asked. “Who were you traveling with? Princess Twilight?”

“The self-proclaimed Lord of Chaos, Discord. Without his help, I wouldn’t have been able to finish the gift I’m going to give to a friend of mine.”

Rain smirked, put off by Rarity’s familiarity with a former threat to the kingdom. “Discord? You sure do keep odd company.”

Rarity expected Rain would reply in the manner she had and didn’t consider editing her opinion of Discord for her sake. “Yes, it’s true that he is a bit abrasive, but that’s only because he’s so familiar with expressing himself in that manner. Discord has a heart of gold, I assure you. Anyway, how can I help you this afternoon?”

Rain blushed. “Do you think I’d be able to look at my dress? I would love to see what you’ve done so far. I know I’m early, but I can’t help it!”

Working on commissions often produced such requests. Usually, the client was worried about what they had paid for. Rarity couldn’t blame them. Her prices weren’t exorbitant, but they covered her work.

“What a coincidence. The dress is finished. I’d be delighted to show it to you.”

Rain let out a delighted squeal. “I knew it! This is kind of strange to say so suddenly, but I’ve always kind of had some sort of silly extrasensory perception when it comes to certain things and I was certain you had my dress finished. That’s what brought me here. I should have waited another thirty minutes like I initially planned, but I couldn’t help myself.”

“There’s nothing silly about a talent like that. My job would be much easier if I had it.”

The joyful twinkle in Rain’s eyes dropped quickly enough to send a chill down Rarity’s spine. It couldn’t have been anything Rarity had said since whatever had ruined their conversation had appeared behind her judging by where Rain was looking. Every bit of color drained from her face. Rain screamed almost high enough to shatter glass, leapt up, and somehow managed to attach herself to the ceiling while still being able to look down at Rarity.

Dignity needed to be retained. Rarity acted as if this happened all the time and glanced behind her shoulder. Applejack scratched her head while staring up at Ocean Rain. In front of Applejack, a cellar spider made its way across Rarity’s counter, bobbing enthusiastically as it sought cover. Rarity felt her face scrunch up violently enough to catch Applejack’s attention.

Applejack took off her hat and sat it down gently on top of the arachnid. “Whoops. That little fella must’ve hitched a ride over here on me. Don’t let it bother you none, Ms. Rain. These critters are harmless.”

Rain, still glued to Rarity’s ceiling, made clicking noises with her throat. A bomb had gone off in Rarity’s soul, but she wouldn’t let it show. Rain lived with a remarkably noticeable amount of arachnophobia. Her wedding dress was made from silk. Spider silk. Her debilitating phobia hadn’t been indicated anywhere on the questionnaire she had filled out. Rarity felt her face flush and swayed slightly. This bit of bad luck had to be because she had projected Rain’s image on the mannequin to see how it looked.

“Could you take that bug outside, Applejack?” Rarity asked, deliberately avoiding the use of the word spider.

“Yup, that’s where it belongs.” Applejack moved her hat towards the edge of the table, dropped the arachnid in her hoof, and set it free outside.

A pile of sweatshirts appeared on the floor at Rarity’s command in time to soften Rain’s landing.

Tears formed in Rain’s eyes. She shook as adrenaline continued running through her. “Thank you. I’m sorry. I’ve made a fool out of myself.”

“Nonsense, dear. Everyone is afraid of something. Some ponies can’t cross bridges and others aren’t at their best when they’re more than ten hoofs off the ground.” A part of her wanted to add how she constantly faced the fear of rejection daily, but it didn’t seem appropriate. “Are you hurt?”

Rain got up and stepped away from the pile of clothing. “I’m fine. Again, I’m really sorry I acted like that. When I was a foal, I was bitten by a red back. I had an allergic reaction to the venom and slept my birthday away at a hospital. It was awful.”

“There shouldn’t be any more of them,” Applejack said. “Rarity keeps this place really clean. It was my fault.”

“It’s fine,” Rain said. “I know that they are useful to have around. Some of them, at any rate. My grandmother liked to say that they kept the bad bugs away.”

Applejack smiled. “Sounds like the opinion of someone who never got bit by one.”

That earned her a genuine laugh, which Rarity was grateful for since it helped Rain relax.

“Shall we all have a look at your dress?” Rarity asked.

“Yes, I’d love to. This is sure to be interesting. An emotional low straight up into a high. Hopefully, I won’t pass out.”

“Rarity’s got three couches just for faintin’ on if you do,” Applejack said.

A wink inferred no insult was intended. Rarity expected a bit more sympathy from Applejack since she knew what the dress was made of. She would have to tell Rain and it would do her no good to lie. Rarity would be honest, but only after Rain tried it on. In the past, she had helped a few clients get over their distaste for certain fabrics by using the same method.

Rain would love the dress. Rarity made herself believe it, but couldn’t completely squash the lingering possibility that her method of breaking the news to her client might blow up in her face. They stood outside the door to the room containing the dress. Rarity looked to Applejack for support and received an encouraging nod. Applejack showed no signs of doubt.

The click the door made as it unlocked was louder than it had ever been.

“Without further ado, Ocean,” Rarity said, hiding her fear, “I humbly present to you the first dress you’ll wear in this exciting new chapter of your life.”

Rarity entered the room and quickly drew back a few curtains with her magic to give the room some lighting before Ocean Rain joined her. She prepared for her ears to be blown out. The squeal Rain let loose was at a higher pitch than the one she had used in the foyer. If the town watch didn’t stop by in the next ten minutes to see if everything was alright, Rarity would be appalled. Rain bounced into the room and jumped around the dress. She tried to express her delight, but couldn’t speak coherently.

Even Applejack was taken aback. “Sheesh, I kinda wish that one was mine.”

Rarity leaned in to whisper. “I’ll make you something better when it’s your turn.”

“Don’t bite off more than you can chew.”

Rarity flicked her hair back. “Trust me. I’ve had plenty of time to think about it.”

“I need to try it on!” Rain exclaimed, finally able to speak without babbling. “Help me get into it!”

“Alright, but you’ll have to hold still,” Rarity said.

A full-length mirror slid out of the corner and stopped in front of the dress. Rain tried standing still, but couldn’t keep herself from shaking in excitement. Rarity could easily work around such tremors when it came to zapping outfits unto eager clients. She added the usual flourishes. A bright flash of light to get the customer to close their eyes followed by a few lingering stars in the color of her own aura. Seeing Rain in the dress drove home every decision Rarity had made while crafting it. The image she had projected onto the mannequin couldn’t begin to compare to the real deal.

Applejack whistled. “Ain’t no way your fiancé will get cold hoofs if you come down the aisle lookin’ like that.”

Rain started crying as she admired herself in the mirror. “I can’t believe how nice this is. I knew it was going to be good, but I didn’t think it was going to be anywhere near this great.”

Rarity almost teared up. Doing so wouldn’t look very professional, so she held it in.

Rain put a hoof to her brooch. “I love how this little pin combines our cutie marks. Can I use this design on the invitations?”

“Go right ahead. It’s yours now. You may do with it what you like.”

“What’s it made out of?”

Rarity knew the reply would leave her shocked. “Lunatoite,”

Rain’s jaw dropped. “No kidding?”

“I’m completely serious.”

“This alone might be worth more than what I paid for the dress!”

“There’s no need to get so excited. I acquired the lunatoite through an affordable bargain. Think of it as a gift from me to you.” Rarity added a wink.

“What about this crown?”

“White gold and blue sapphires. It’s the only part of the dress I didn’t make. I happened to come across it while browsing an exclusive collection of exotic antiques and couldn’t imagine considering the ensemble complete without it.”

Rain fiddled with the crown. “It is pretty nifty. I like how it brings out my eyes. What about the dress? What fabric did you use? I don’t think I’ve ever worn anything like this before. It’s a little warm, but that’s alright.”

She just had to ask. Rarity almost swallowed her tongue. “Since this is such a special wedding, I wanted to give you something completely unique. I intended for you to be able to wear something that would awe not only your guests, but the rest of Equestria as well. If I could help it, there wouldn’t be a single mare who would forget what you were wearing at your wedding.”

Rain’s excitement had reached its peak. “Well? What is it? Go on, tell me.”

Rarity put on the most serious look she could muster. “Spider silk.”

Contrary to her expectations, Rain didn’t react by tearing off her dress and diving out the nearest window while screaming. However, all the merriment was sucked out of the room.

Rain’s face contorted into an unrecognizable expression. “What?”

It was the moment of truth for Rarity. “This is the first dress of its kind. Up to this point, only hoofkerchiefs have been made from spider silk.”

“How many golden orb weavers did you have to catch to manage this?” Rain asked.

“Zero. The silk comes from the den of a cave spider.”

The unreadable expression morphed into something more recognizable. Apprehension mixed with a tinge of nervousness. Rain glued herself to the mirror again. She spun to the left and right, checking the dress for anything out of the ordinary. “If I asked you to give me your word that this silk hasn’t been used to catch anything larger than a fly, could you?”

“Without hesitation. The den was freshly spun.”

“That’s a relief.” Rain sighed. “I can’t fault you for your decision to use spider silk since you had no way of knowing how much spiders frighten me. If anyone else had made this, I’d be tempted to accuse them of trying to capitalize on my wedding by deliberately designing something extravagant in order to boost their fame. The Element of Generosity would never do such a thing. You made this to make me stand out and I certainly will. I love it too much to be disappointed with what it’s made of.”

Rarity had dealt with enough disgruntled clients to know Rain wasn’t too terribly upset. It was a shame to see her joy end so prematurely. She needed to be certain she had done all she could do. “I believe I still have enough time to remake the whole gown using a different fabric if wearing something traditional would make you feel more comfortable.”

Rain shook her head. “No, you don’t have to do that. You put a lot of effort into this. Besides, I paid you for one dress. This is that dress.”

“Are you sure? I want your wedding to be one of the best days of your life. Any second thoughts about your dress will take away from the experience.”

Rain looked away from the mirror and locked her gaze on Rarity. “Second thoughts? I have been having those for the past two months. While I was on my way here, I couldn’t stop thinking of how I’m not pretty enough for Waltz.”

Applejack barked a laugh. “Honey, he proposed to you. Don’t forget that.”

“It’s not just that. I’m worried we might grow apart as we get older. I’m worried he might meet someone new and more interesting than I could ever be. All of that stopped when I saw myself in this dress. So long as I’m in this, I can stand up to my fears, which is kind of funny considering what it’s made of. I intend to make this work and having this dress is a good start. I think I’m ready to put it back on the mannequin, though. Do you mind?”

The dress was back on the doll in a flash. Rarity also closed the curtains.

“Will you be able to keep it here for the next few days?” Rain asked.

Rarity gave her a nod. “I’ll have it inside a discreet garment bag by this evening. You may pick it up whenever its convenient for you. I’d suggest spending a little more time in the dress in case you need any alterations. After all, you are going to be in it for at least half a day.”

“I’ll be sure to wear it again before the wedding, but I think you got it right on your first try.”

“Though that does tend to happen, I don’t make a habit of relying on it. If there’s nothing more I can do for you today, shall I see you off?”

Rain nodded and left the room. Applejack followed her. Rarity made sure the door was locked before catching up with them.

“Have you decided where you will have your honeymoon?” Rarity asked.

Rain blushed. “My father owns an island in the Celestial Sea that has six villas he rents out. We’ll be spending a few weeks there in one of them. With any luck, nobody will follow us.”

“Are you referring to Destiny Island?” Rarity asked. “My parents were there last summer for their wedding anniversary. They didn’t want to leave.”

“I’m pretty excited about it. I’ve never actually had the chance to go down there. Something always comes up. Not this time, though.”

The trio reached the front door, which Rarity held open with the aid of her magic.

Rain paused, having one last thing to say. “It was nice getting the chance to meet both of you. I’m glad you haven’t let your success get to your heads.”

Applejack tipped her hat. “Much obliged. I wish you many years of happiness. Just don’t forget, marriage ain’t spelled f-u-n. Like anything else, it’s somethin’ you gotta work at. Both of you, that is.”

Rain smirked and walked out into Ponyville. “I know. My mother has already told me all about it. I’ll save his morning kiss until after he’s brushed his teeth.”

“Please do come again, Rain,” Rarity said.

Rain nodded as she walked away. “You can count on it.”

Rarity closed the door and breathed a sigh of relief with Applejack.

“You’ve got a hard job,” Applejack said.

“True, but it’s something I enjoy. I can’t imagine doing anything else.”

“I thought she’d pass out the second you told her what that dress was made of. I was actually prepared to catch her.”

Rarity had a short laugh at the mental image of Applejack swooping in to save a falling bride.

“How did Spike’s present turn out?”

“Better than expected. I’ve got it locked in my safe right now. Would you like to see it?”

“No, I’ll save that for the party. I don’t want my reaction to be fake. I was only askin’ to make sure Discord was good on his word.”

“It is quite unexpected, isn’t it? I might actually be friends with him now.”

A look of concern crossed Applejack’s face. “Good luck with that. Are you good to mind your store?”

“I am. You’ve done me a great favor, Applejack. I’ll be sure to repay it.”

Applejack opened the door. “Just so long as it don’t involve workin’ a tiller, right?”

A slight trace of worry entered Rarity’s voice. “Well. . .if you absolutely, positively, need someone to work with you in the dirt for a few days, I’ll help. You stepped outside your element to help me. I can step outside my element to help you.”

“I might have to hold you to that, but I won’t put you through the ringer like Discord did. See you later, Rarity.” Applejack closed the door and left, leaving Rarity alone in her shop.

Once she was safely behind the counter, Rarity summoned her nearest fainting couch. Her aura had hardly left the outline of the furniture when she collapsed into it. The relief that came with a significant accomplishment greeted her. It had lessened as she had gotten better at her profession, but she couldn’t deny how much more free time she now had. Her tranquility lasted until she realized Townsville needed banners. Before that, her store needed to look a lot less like she was having a sale.

Rarity hopped off the couch and began rearranging her merchandise with a bit more pep than usual. The bell above her door rang as a mare with a scarf that didn’t match her coat stepped in. Rarity smiled. It was time to make another sale.

Chapter 12

The door to Rarity’s hidden safe opened, revealing the box containing Spike’s present. It had been placed at eye level for easy access. Rarity took the box, popped off the lid, and checked to make sure the gem was there for the millionth time. The spinning galaxy at the center of the gem looked back at her. Satisfied, she placed the lid back on top the box and dropped the container into her bottomless orange saddlebag. She shut the safe and the door to the secret closet on her way to the stairs.

She wanted to be among the first guests to arrive at Spike’s birthday party. Her makeup and mane were perfect. She had been certain to wear some perfume she knew Spike liked. Rarity stuck a sign informing potential clients of her early closure to the window on her front door. All she had left to do was swing by Fluttershy’s house and get her and Discord to join her.

It felt odd to have gone from seeing Discord every day to not even hearing a peep from him. She hadn’t expected him to stop by her shop before the party, but a part of her hoped he might just to say hello under more normal circumstances. Nothing could have been more boring to him.

Once Rarity reached the cottage, she paused for a moment in front of the chicken coop. A few of the chickens that were out and about came to greet her, expecting food for their show of comradery. It took a good minute to find the one she wanted to see. Doodle was beneath the coop. Rarity got the feeling Doodle had been watching her from the second she had wandered into view. Doodle didn’t bother looking away. She appeared to be a healthy chicken and had to have been eating, if merely by necessity alone. Satisfied, Rarity went to Fluttershy’s front door, feeling Doodle’s eyes on her back the entire way.

Fluttershy opened the door to her home before Rarity could knock. “Good afternoon, Rarity. Are you here on your way to the birthday party?”

“I am. I was hoping we could go together. Is Discord with you?”

A look of confusion crossed Fluttershy’s face. “No. Was he supposed to be?”

Rarity nodded.

“He didn’t say anything to me about that at all.”

Rarity scoffed, but resisted the urge to jump to conclusions. “Do you have a way to get a hold of him?”

“Yes. Come inside.”

Three macaws squawked out a greeting as four squirrels scampered up a wood tower to get a better look at Fluttershy’s visitor. A few rats bounded out from beneath the furniture to investigate the commotion. An alpaca poked its head out of the kitchen, snorted, and then went right back to whatever it was doing.

Despite her home doubling as an animal rehabilitation center, Fluttershy had always gone to great lengths to ensure her cottage was clean and presentable. Loose hair and bird feathers couldn’t be found hiding in any corners. Water and food always stayed inside their respective dishes. Most importantly, anyone could leave without feeling like they needed to take a bath immediately after visiting with her. It was an impressive feat to achieve without the aid of magic.

“I know this is going to sound really awkward, but we have to go into my bathroom to call Discord,” Fluttershy said.

“That sounds relatively tame. I had expected something far more impractical.”

“Well. . .you haven’t seen the process yet.”

They stepped into the main bathroom on the ground floor, which managed to fit an impressive amount of bathing stations into a small space. Animals in need of a good bath could have one inside during the chilly months that marked the beginning and end of each year. The only peculiar part of the room were the blackout curtains ready to blot out any light coming in from the window.

Fluttershy opened a cabinet and retrieved a glow stone from a bucket of items. She knocked it against the edge of the bucket, activating the magic inside. Judging by the strength of the light, the glow stone had been freshly charged. She placed the stone in a cradle located on her sink and went over to the curtains Rarity had been curious about. Fluttershy closed them over the window. The glow stone and what little light crept in from underneath the door were their only sources of illumination.

“This might seem like its meant to call something else, but don’t worry,” Fluttershy said. “Discord will be here in less than a minute.” Fluttershy flushed her toilet and stood in front of the sink facing the mirror mounted above it. She started spinning in place. “Discord, Discord, Discord.”

Rarity recognized the ritual as a ridiculous variation of a cheap parlor trick meant to ensnare foals with undesirable members of the supernatural community. Though outlawed, it and several similar games were still in occasional use at unsupervised slumber parties. Rarity moved next to the door and put her hoof on the knob in case there was any interference getting through to Discord. A thudding noise came from the pipes inside the walls of the cottage, making the hair on the back of her neck stand on end. Fluttershy opened the hot water valve on her sink.

Discord’s head erupted from the spout and slithered out until he was looking down on Fluttershy. He wore a pink swimming cap. “You rang, my dear?”

The curtains drew themselves back, letting natural light into the bathroom. Discord spotted Rarity. She instantly gave him the look male members of any species were to receive when they knew they had done something to displease a member of the opposite sex. Discord responded as any self-respecting male would do after recognizing the look by rolling his eyes, which caused Rarity’s frown to deepen. He pulled himself out of the faucet and had to shrink his true height to stand comfortably in the bathroom with the two mares. The shower cap on top of his turned into a fish that leapt into the sink and scampered back into the faucet. Its journey through the pipes elicited the same peculiar noise Discord’s arrival had emitted.

Fluttershy decided to speak first. “Umm, Discord? Was something supposed to happen today?”

“Perhaps.” An agenda emblazoned with the colors and logo of Celestia’s School of Magic appeared and opened itself for Discord’s perusal. “I’m so busy helping protect Equestria from threats these days that I can hardly keep track of everything. I don’t know how you two do it.”

“Then we can exchange notes at the party we’re going to,” Rarity said.

Discord sighed and gave his agenda to his own reflection, which accepted the copy with its lion paw. “Alright. Real talk. Is this entirely necessary, Rarity?”

Rarity sputtered a few times in stunned bewilderment before being able to put words into complete sentences. “I couldn’t have done any of this without you. Spike needs to thank both of us. In person.”

“Relatives send each other presents through the mail all the time,” Discord said. “How is this any different?”

“Fine. What’s the real reason you won’t go? Let me guess. It’s because you’re only familiar with two of the guests, isn’t it?”

“And you think that’s a poor excuse? Besides, Twilight, Cae Cae, K-Dance, and Moonbutt are going to box my ears when they find out what I did in Neighpal and I want to wait until after they’ve cooled down before I must endure whatever pointless reprimand they have in store for me.”

Fluttershy put a hoof to her chin. “Moonbutt?”

“I’ll back you up on what happened in Neighpal,” Rarity said.

“No, you don’t have to cover for me,” Discord said.

“But I’m going to. I will also drag you to this party if I must. You don’t have to stay for the whole thing. You will watch Spike open his presents and have some cake and ice cream. After that, you’re free to leave.”

“I think this will be good for you, Discord,” Fluttershy chimed in.

Discord groaned. “Why are you mares all so extroverted? Can’t you see the beauty in sitting on your couch for an entire afternoon because you have nothing better to do?”

“I seriously hope you’ve never done that,” Rarity said.

He sighed. “What flavor is the cake?”

Fluttershy replied, “It’s an ice cream cake, so it’s mostly vanilla with a little bit of chocolate thrown in for good measure.”

“Ice cream cake with ice cream,” Discord said. “If youth had a taste. Fine! You win. I’ll go to Spike’s silly birthday party.”

Rarity had to present another condition while the moment was still fresh. “No antagonizing Applejack.”

Discord threw his claw and paw into the air. “That was the whole point of going there! We aren’t even at the party and I’m already bored!”

Rarity turned to Fluttershy. “Do you need help with anything before you’re ready to leave?”

“All of the animals have already been fed and Angel knows I’ll be gone for a little while. I’m ready to leave whenever you two are.”

Discord headed for the front door. “Then let’s get this over with.”

It was impossible not to notice Doodle watching them as they left. Rarity did her best to ignore it and caught Discord returning the stare with a satisfied smirk on his face. Aside from waving at acquaintances, their trip to the Castle of Friendship was highlighted by the flash of a camera capturing them on their way to the birthday party. A previously hidden journalist was responsible for suspending their trek in time for so long as the picture featuring it remained intact. It would likely show up in the local newspaper and in the one printed in the Crystal Kingdom. Rarity knew she looked good, so there wasn’t anything to worry about.

Right before they reached the steps leading up to the entrance of the castle, a familiar pegasus pony swooped down from an inconspicuous cloud and landed in front of them.

Dash grinned. “Rarity? I had a feeling you’d be the first guest here. In case you weren’t, I was going to make sure it was me, but since you are, I’ll just fall in line.” Dash moved in beside Fluttershy. “Hey, Discord. You didn’t invite Smooze this time, did you?”

“I didn’t have the chance to,” Discord replied. “It’s not like I would have, though. This particular gala isn’t a public affair.”

“That’s a relief,” Dash said.

Rarity shot Dash a reprimanding look and bared her teeth.

Dash chuckled. “It’s good that you’re here, though. I hadn’t expected you to show up. But here you are! I guess it’s my day to be wrong about things.”

Of everything Dash could have said, she just had to inadvertently pick a combination of words that perfectly set herself up for a sarcastic reply. Rarity held her breath.

There was a familiar glimmer in Discord’s eyes. “If that’s the case, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. It only means the rest of your day is bound to be full of surprises.”

Rarity exhaled in relief.

“Although I wouldn’t recommend operating any heavy machinery until tomorrow morning,” Discord said.

Dash and Fluttershy had a laugh at his lighthearted dig. Rarity shook her head, but smiled. He could still be himself without being too much of a jerk. The party had started off on the right hoof. They ascended the stairs to the front door together in high spirits. Upon reaching the final step, both front doors burst open with a tremendous boom.

Confetti and streamers shot out from the entrance where Pinkie Pie stood on her hind legs with her hoofs up in the air and her head thrown back. “Welcome, friends! Come right on in!”

None of them were fazed by Pinkie’s usual antics. Twilight stood in the foyer and used magic to reload the canons suspended from the ceiling by several ropes. Spike was with her, standing next to a large cart full of gifts in various shapes and sizes. Rarity’s entrance got Spike to step away from the cart of presents he had been ogling.

Spike bounded up to her, eager for attention. “I’m glad you could make it, Rarity.”

Discord cleared his throat, breaking the trance Spike had slipped into.

“I’m happy all of you were able to come here today.” Spike rubbed the back of his neck. “I know everyone has been busier than usual these days since the holidays are on their way. It’s rare to have a few hours to relax. It means a lot that everyone would want to spend them on me, even if it is my birthday.”

“No problem,” Dash said.

“We’re happy to be here,” Fluttershy said.

“Such a lovely little speech,” Discord said in a tone balanced delicately between sarcasm and sincerity. “Twilight is rubbing off on you.”

Twilight smirked. “It’s not just me. He’s had plenty of positive role models to look up to, one of whom has yet to arrive.”

“I’m right here.” Applejack stepped out of the entrance to the dining hall, covered in glitter. “Figured I could avoid a cannon if I came in through the back. Ya’ll are welcome to have a laugh now.”

Pinkie Pie giggled. A quick spell from Twilight removed all the festivities Applejack was covered in.

Applejack’s eyes widened when she noticed a particular guest and then narrowed into a glare. “Howdy, Discord.”

Discord nodded. “A-J.”

Rarity needed to keep the conversation moving forward. “I take it all of you turned in your gifts to Pinkie Pie?” She received plenty of nods. “I happen to have mine with me right now.”

Twilight moved in for a closer look at Rarity’s saddlebags. “Is that a bottomless bag?”

“It is. How could you tell?”

“No bulge.” Twilight put a hoof on it and pressed in to emphasize her point.

Rarity didn’t feel a box pressing up against her, but had full faith that the present was in there. Somewhere.

“Oh, I love these things!” Pinkie Pie said. “Hey, watch this!” Pinkie Pie opened the saddlebag and stuck her head in it. Her head popped out of a cannon suspended from the ceiling. “Whoa! What a trip!”

Everyone laughed. Pinkie Pie pulled her head out through the tunnel. A tendril in her hair had wrapped around the box containing Rarity’s gift.

Dash barked a laugh. “You used your own colors and your cutie mark? Are you sick, or something?”

Rarity replied with confidence, “I’d ask that you hold off judgment until after the gift has been opened.”

“It’s alright,” Spike interjected. “It will be easy to pick it out from the rest of them.”

The pink tendril from Pinkie’s mane extended until it set Rarity’s gift on the cart and retracted into the rest of her mane with enough force to shake out a top hat that had been hidden inside the mass of curls.

Pinkie caught the top hat in her hoof before it fell to the ground. “Now that everyone is here, allow me to explain the super special way we’ll be opening the presents. Inside this hat is a slip of paper containing all our cutie marks. We’ll give the hat a few shakes and then Spike can draw from it.” Pinkie stuck the hat back in her hair.

“Can we go do that now?” Spike asked Twilight, barely able to contain his excitement.

“Sure. You’ve waited long enough. Let’s head into the living room and get started.” Twilight took control of the cart containing Spike’s presents and wheeled it behind her as she left the foyer.

Though Twilight called it the living room, it was essentially another component of the castle library. A throne had been added to the mix of furniture for Spike’s birthday in the main reading area. Two extra tables were in the room. One supported three five-gallon beverage coolers containing all of Spike’s favorite sugary drinks from Sugarcube Corner. Pretzels, cupcakes, rice cakes, and several other snacks were laid out on the other table. The ice cream cake and ice cream had to still be in the freezer.

“Twilight, I’ve been meaning to ask you something,” Discord began as they headed for their seats. “How’s that little upstart doing?”

“Starlight Glimmer?” Twilight asked. “She’ll be moving in next week. I’ve decided to mentor her.”

“Let me know when she’s here. I’m very much interested in meeting the mare that threw you for a loop.”

“Alright. So long as you promise not to tempt her back to the dark side.”

“Perish the thought. I’m perfectly content with my life as it is right now being the lackey Luna has to turn to when she can’t figure out how to defeat a creature from another realm that drains ponies of their magical essence.”

“Are you talking about Tirek?” Dash asked.

Fluttershy chuckled. “No, he’s got his realities mixed up again. He’s talking about the Malum. Oh, I know! Discord, this would be the perfect time to tell them that story.”

“I seem to remember you mentioning it about a month ago,” Twilight said. “I’d like to hear it if you would be willing to tell it, Discord.”

“Only if our beloved whelp is interested,” Discord said.

“Sure!” Spike said. “I’m always up for a good story.”

Discord grinned. “I don’t know if I’d call it a good story. I suppose I’ll leave that up to you.”

“Before we get into that, what happened to those two new guards?” Applejack asked. “What were their names? Biggs and Wedge? Did you give them the day off? Is that why the backdoor was unlocked?”

“They requested a reassignment,” Twilight said. “They didn’t want to spend the rest of their tour guarding a castle.”

“Sounds like they have a taste for action,” Dash said. “Can’t blame them.”

“No, what it sounds like is this castle is without guards to defend it,” Applejack said. “Again.”

“We can talk about that later,” Twilight said. “I promise.”

Spike clambered onto his throne as the rest of the group took their seats around him. The present cart came to a stop beside him. Twilight teleported a trashcan next to his seat to collect the remains of the wrapping paper since he didn’t see the point in saving it. Pinkie shook her head violently until the hat containing their cutie marks dislodged from its hidden compartment and landed squarely in Spike’s lap.

“Go ahead and pick a mark!” Pinkie Pie said.

Spike looked away, closed his eyes, and shook the hat horizontally to keep the slips of paper from falling out. Satisfied that enough of a random chance had been achieved, he reached in without looking and promptly drew a piece of paper with three blue gems scribbled onto it, tearing startled gasps out of everyone but Discord.

Opening his eyes, Spike examined what he had picked. “Wow. That’s nuts.”

It was comedic. The gem would be sure to set the bar high for everything that followed. Rarity felt she should have been chosen last so the ceremony could have concluded with a bang, but the only feelings that truly mattered to the puppeteer engineering her destiny were those that advanced the plot.

Rarity felt the need to downplay the gift and only had a moment to wonder if the decision was truly hers. “I just want to make something clear. This is not a competition. Furthermore, I couldn’t have done this without Discord. Consider it from both of us.”

Spike clapped his hands together. “It’s all good. I can’t wait to see what it is!”

Twilight had no trouble selecting Rarity’s gift from the lot. She switched out the hat for the present. Spike tore into it with the same ferocity Opal went after catnip. The fancy box containing the gift was soon revealed. Spike’s claws had defaced its glossy texture.

The defining moment had finally arrived.

Spike gave the box a shake. “I think I might know what this is.”

Discord snickered, but kept his mouth shut. Spike removed the lid and froze in place. The box almost tumbled out of his grasp, but Twilight had her magic ready to help him keep the box from falling to the floor. His claws shook as he took the gem from its delicate bed. He held it high enough for everyone to get a good look at it.

Rarity took the opportunity to examine their reactions while they were still fresh. The only creature present who didn’t have tears in their eyes was Discord, but that was to be expected. Instead, he had a rather satisfied smile on his face.

Applejack was the first to regain enough composure to comment. “Land sakes alive! Pass that over here and lemme get a good look at it when you’re done. Please.”

“That’s the prettiest gem I’ve ever seen,” Fluttershy said.

“I’ll have to take a picture and show it to Maud,” Pinkie said. “She’s going to totally flip out.”

“That thing is awesome!” Dash exclaimed. “It’s like having your own slice of the universe in the center of your hoof. Claw, I mean.”

“The. . .” Spike could barely talk as his eyes filled with tears. “The galaxy in the center moves.”

“That it does,” Discord said, eager to bring the sappy moment back to normal. “I can assure you it wouldn’t look anywhere near as amazing if Rarity hadn’t busted her haunches gathering the materials I needed to construct that shiny little rock. Think of it as a testament to the strength of your friendship. It’s easy enough to build if you have the right ingredients, but you won’t be able to get that creamy nugget in the center without a little extra oomph from someone special.”

Twilight levitated an old book from the top shelf of a bookcase, flipped through it, and displayed the page she stopped on. “Spike, that’s a Bonding Stone!” She tapped the page with her hoof to emphasize the illustration on it, which featured a replica with a smaller galaxy. “They are directly responsible for the development of the peaceful relationship between ponies and the majority of dragons that has continued to this day!”

Discord looked at Fluttershy. “She’s like a living, breathing, encyclopedia.”

Fluttershy couldn’t help but giggle.

Twilight shoved her muzzle in the book. “What were the ingredients? Onyx. Makes sense. Wait a second. Celevite?” Her voice raised in pitch. “Lunatoite?” Twilight’s excitement had reached its limit. “Enchantable moonstone?” Twilight cleared her throat to bring her voice back to normal. “Those are some of the rarest gemstones in existence. Where in the world did you find them?”

Rarity smiled as a familiar memory of chasing a mare through the streets of Neighpal played through her mind. “It wasn’t easy.”

“What am I supposed to do with it?” Spike asked, turning it over in his hands. “It’s so beautiful, yet it looks absolutely delicious. Am I supposed to eat it?”

“I had figured you would want to,” Rarity said. “I wouldn’t eat the whole thing at once, if I were you. Exotic food can be a shock to one’s system, believe me. The first time I tried premium hay, I didn’t like it. Now I can’t eat anything else.”

He didn’t respond. Spike shook the gem to see if the galaxy would move in the direction he wanted, but discovered the rotation was out of his control. “No. I can’t eat this. It’s too precious. I think I’ll keep it instead. As a memento.”

“Aww, that’s so sweet,” Pinkie said.

Rarity’s tears began to flow. He truly had grown up. “Are you sure, Spike?”

“Yeah. This is too rare to wolf down in one sitting. I’ll have to get someone to make a case for it.”

Applejack hit her chest. “I’m your mare. Leave it to me, it’ll be ready in five days.”

“I wanna hear how you two made this,” Spike said.

“As would I,” Twilight agreed. A composition notebook with a pen appeared above her, wrapped up in her aura.

“I’m afraid I have to interject,” Discord said. “It just so happens that I have a present for Spike as well.”

A familiar statue of a golem with its foot stuck in a hole appeared on the coffee table in front of everyone.

Spike placed the gem back in the box, jumped off the throne, and admired his new gift. “Wow! This is really cool! How did you know I was into statuettes of uncommon monsters?”

“Call it a hunch,” Discord said.

“Who carved this?” Spike asked. “Nice Smile? It has the attention to detail they usually put in their figurines. It almost looks real.”

“That’s because it is real,” Rarity said.

Spike blinked. “No way.”

Rarity scoffed, but kept a smile on her face. “I wholeheartedly assure you I’m telling the truth since I was there. That brute came after us when we retrieved a single sample of enchantable moonstone from the remains of the kingdom Discord once called home.”

“You were where?” Dash asked.

Spike climbed back onto his throne and held the gem in his claws. “Tell me all about it.”

“It’s a rather long story,” Rarity began, “but it goes something like this.”

Epilogue

Discord appeared on the roof of Carousel Boutique. Even though it was the middle of the night, he hid his form with a spell of invincibility. He arrived just in time to catch Opalescence leaving the building through the cat door in the back for a night out on the prowl.

One of Rarity’s curlers was in her mouth.

Following a cat through the sleeping town of Ponyville was hardly his idea of a good time, but he had something in mind that would make all of it worthwhile. Opal was cautious, but Discord knew it didn’t have anything to do with his presence. Other cats might catch her. Word might spread to Fluttershy, who wouldn’t hesitate to tell Rarity the terrible secret. Then there would be a week with no catnip. Opal’s care was brought on by fear of not being able to live a single day without it.

It took Opal quite some time to finally reach her destination, which was a tree just outside of town. Discord watched from the sky with his back to the moon as Opal began digging a hole behind the tree. It was time to act. Opal wouldn’t learn her lesson if he just appeared out of nowhere and scolded her. Something more traumatizing was needed.

Discord merged himself with the tree. He swayed his branches as if they were caught in the wind, which caught Opal’s attention. Discord emitted a guttural groan that sounded like wood creaking in an old house. He made a nightmarish face appear on the tree and centered its eyeless gaze on Opal.

“Bad kitty,” Discord said.

Opal almost jumped high enough to hit the lowest hanging branch, yowled at the top of her lungs, and tripped over herself twice in her haste to get away from the tree. Once she was halfway back to the boutique, Discord appeared in his native physical form near the hole Opal had made. Having ensured the cat would never steal from Rarity again, he produced a shovel and started digging to see what Opal had plundered. It didn’t take long to uncover a collection of miscellaneous items. A pincushion with a few needles sticking out of it, three compact mirrors, ten lapel pins, and an unused container of lipstick covered the crown jewel of the treasure trove.

The fire ruby.

Discord picked up the fire ruby and polished it to a mirror sheen with a quick spell. He turned it over and found a pin had been stuck to its back, which had enabled Opal to carry it. Discord flicked the pin off and admired his discovery under the moonlight. Rarity didn’t need it back. It would cheapen her adventure with him.

He took a bite out of it and chewed for a moment. There was nothing remarkable about the taste. The chunk he had taken out of it reformed on the ruby.

“I guess there must be less dragon in me than I thought.” Discord dropped the fire ruby into the hole.

The dirt on the ground covered the hole. Some foal could dig it up and have it. His moment of fun was officially over. It was passed time to meet with Luna and discuss the safety of the kingdom. Luna would have another sharp quip to throw at him for his tardiness. He could endure it. Working for Luna on tasks she’d rather have the Night Guard avoid ensured Fluttershy’s safety. And Rarity’s. And Twilight’s, Pinkie Pie’s, and Dash’s. Even Applejack’s. But mostly Fluttershy’s.

Discord touched the ground with his lion paw, cast another spell, and teleported away from the scene. In his absence, hydrangeas sprouted to mark the grave of the fire ruby and didn’t stop until they had made their way around the tree.

Author's Note

Extras.

I figured Rarity would eventually come to her senses and give the fire ruby back to Spike once she got tired of it. That wasn't going to happen in the show. Perhaps they will use that idea in the comics. Anyway, I've been sitting on this story since 2011. It was the third story I had in mind for a series I wanted to do for this show. The Virtuous Sister came out first. The Stink Bug and this story were scheduled to follow it.

Whoops.

Rarity was supposed to consult a tarot deck after she failed to find the fire ruby. This was to set up another story in this series dealing with Sweetie Belle where she dabbles in something she should not have bothered with a week before Nightmare Night. An accurate reading was to be given. Rarity's sixth draw was death, which featured a portrait of Discord. The scene where they hatch their scheme came next.

Marigold Wisp manages to summon Stolas and Buer. She has heard that the wings of a pegasus pony are needed in order to create a potion that will turn her into an alicorn, which is a reference to the 25th issue of the Friends Forever comics by IDW. If you haven't read the comics, you might consider starting with this one.

While writing this, I was looking forward to the fight with the golem. I came up with that bit first and wanted to make a big scene out of the whole ordeal. When it finally came time to begin working on the fight, I realized I was up against the most difficult part of the story. It's easily the second most challenging bit I've had to write up to this point in time.

The first draft of this story was finished before the season nine finale. I borrowed spider silk from Ultima. If only I could have gotten this story out sooner. The comics also beat me to it with a fight like the one with the golem. Before I saw The Big Mac Question, I had written ponies using engagement bracelets instead of rings on necklaces.

Talbot's name is inspired by Larry Talbot. The Wolf Man. As played by Lon Chaney Jr. back in 1941. Talbot is wearing the vest Michael Jackson wears in the music video of Thriller.

Discord mentions the Malum, a creature he helped Luna fight in The Virtuous Sister, which takes place in a different continuum than Bug and Stone.

Further Reading.

Here are some other great stories inside this fandom you might consider checking out.

For I Am a Jelly God by Posh. Yes, I've already recommended this one. It's that good. I read it again just to be sure.

Twillight Sparkle's awesome adventure by Yonasomun. Crack done right.

The Frozen West by Cozy Mark IV. Delightfully chilling.

Completely Safe in the Reference Section by Cold in Gardez. This story is funny. Source: I worked at a library for three years.

Hard Reset by Eakin. If Endless Eight had been anywhere near this entertaining, The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya would still be relevant. So good it didn't need to win best fic of all-time in order to be the best fic of all-time. Next to For I Am a Jelly God, that is.

Chapter 9

The floor gave out from underneath her. She found herself being sucked backwards through an orange, plastic tunnel. Rarity let whatever force had her do as it pleased so long as it took her away from the golem. Her rear reached the end of the tunnel first, producing an undignified pop as it emerged from a hole. She found she could stand on something and proceeded to pull the rest of her body from the hole.

Rarity stood on a sink in front of an open medicine cabinet in an unlit bathroom. Beyond the doorway was a hospital room big enough for two patients. A monkey had been painted on the wall. It observed the patient lying in bed, who had been placed inside a body cast that ended just below their neck.

“Discord, you’re alive!” Rarity exclaimed. Tears started forming in her eyes. “I. . .I thought that maybe. . .”

Seeing him safe made her more aware of how hopeless her situation would have been if he hadn’t survived. She wished she didn’t have anything in her stomach. A tremendous thud came from above them. The lighting in the room flickered and dust fell from the ceiling. The golem was trying to dig them out.

Discord gestured for her to have a seat in the chair next to the bed. “It came closer than I would like to admit. Fortunately, the adrenaline spike gained from being in grave danger allowed me to escape to this room an instant before I would have been smashed like a watermelon on the beach in the middle of the summer. I hope you won’t be needing therapy for the minute you thought you might have been on your own.”

Rarity dried her eyes and took a deep breath. “I’ll only have a few nightmares about it over the next year. How long will we be safe down here?”

“That depends on how enthusiastic the golem is. I’d save five minutes.”

“We’ll have to come up with some way to defeat that thing in four. Were you able to see anything behind its neck while you were up there?”

“Yes. The mark is where you said it would be.”

Another ear popping thud came from above them. It was much closer. Whatever reinforced the room held steady, keeping the ceiling from meeting the floor.

There had to be a better solution than the one that came to Rarity, but she didn’t have time to think of it. “Don’t try to fight the golem all by yourself.” Her lips had gone numb. “Allow me to help. Can you make yourself the same size as the golem?”

“With great ease.”

“Good. Do so and give me a ride on your shoulder. Walk up to the golem and grapple it. Increase the grip my hoofs have so I can climb the golem. While I’m busy, you will need to keep it distracted. I’d recommend bringing out your clones again. Have them keep a close eye on me since I’m certain I wouldn’t survive being thrown into the ground by that giant.”

“You just might. Twilight lived through having a piano dropped on her.”

“This isn’t a competition.”

The next thud destroyed the electrical wiring in the room. An orb of light appeared above Discord, allowing Rarity to see him. His body cast was missing.

“I like your plan, but you’re forgetting one thing. How do you intend to disenchant the golem?”

“Perhaps you could help with that. Can’t you enchant some random object with the power to stop the golem? I could carry it with my aura and use it when I’m near the sigil.”

“What an excellent idea. I have just the right item for the job.”

A knock came from the door leading out of the room. The Twilicane stepped in, wearing a doctor’s coat. It bobbed left to right in an unnerving manner as it approached Discord’s bed, trying to give off the illusion that it could walk. The coat fell off when Discord grabbed the cane.

“First, I’ll remove its current enchantment since this cane isn’t capable of carrying more than one at a time.” Discord popped the ruby from the bottom of the cane and replaced it with a chunk of blood stone cut in the table style. “Now, I’ll give it what we need.” He placed his lion paw on the gem. The red and black flecks on the surface of the bloodstone shifted as magic was added to its composition. Discord twisted the stone to the right, tossed the cane into the air, and caught it with the bottom pointed towards Rarity. “All yours.”

Rarity grabbed the Twilicane with her aura and placed it across her back just as the ceiling caved in from the impact of the golems hammer.

Discord had an overly large umbrella up in time to deflect the debris. “Follow me.”

He threw back his bedsheets, discarded the umbrella, leapt out of the bed, and ran for the door with Rarity right behind him. They stepped out into a hallway that was under construction. Safety pylons, building material, and work lights that had given out were among the details Discord had wasted energy creating for the sake of authenticity.

“There’s a staircase at the end of this hallway,” Discord said. “It will take us back up to the room we were in a few minutes ago. Some of my clones are distracting the golem right now, so it won’t be expecting us.”

“What happens if it squishes one of your copies?” Rarity asked.

“The spell will break and my migraine will get upgraded to a cluster headache.”

“What about my hoofs?” Rarity asked. “Have you enchanted them yet?”

Discord barked a laugh. “Whoops! Wow, that would have been hilarious. Hold on. There. You could climb up a wall of ice without safety gear with those trotting gallopers.”

“They don’t feel any different.”

“Since we’re running for our lives, I felt a flourish would have been too distracting. Very well. Have it your way.” Discord clapped his claw and paw together.

Her hoofs felt warmer than normal. She looked down and found that she now wore grey socks. When she looked up, she was nearing the end of the hallway. Two ponies generated in the corner. A stallion and a mare, dressed as a doctor and a nurse.

The nurse gasped. “Look at that radiant mare with the enchanted hoofs!”

“I wish I had socks like that,” the doctor grumbled.

“You’ve made your point,” Rarity said to Discord.

“I still don’t think it’s clear enough, but it certainly will be momentarily,” Discord asked.

Discord burst through the double doors leading into a stairwell. They were on the bottom floor. There were windows, but they let in no light as an abyss lied beyond them. They climbed the stairs. Additional floors hadn’t been created. A great commotion was coming from directly above them. Discord’s clones were busy. The final set of stairs led up into a rock ceiling. Once they took the first step, stone grated against stone as the slab slid away. Light came down from the room above. The ball of light that had been following them extinguished itself.

Rainbow Dash appeared at the top of the stairs. “Hurry up, Rarity! We can’t hold the golem off forever. Nice socks, by the way.” Dash took flight and vanished from view.

“That’s not really her, is it?” Rarity asked.

“No. I figured a bunch of different clones of myself wearing kooky outfits would only confuse you and since I want you to know who is the real me, I chose a different approach.”

Rarity and Discord entered the room and faced the fray while the slab slid back into place. Duplicates of Twilight and Dash were circling around the face of the golem. It wasn’t fazed by their hijinks until Dash took a dive towards the magical seal behind its neck. The golem swatted, but Dash was already on its other side.

Discord crouched. “Grab my shoulder.”

The second Rarity completed the request, Discord began to grow. Rarity dug in, clinging to his flesh rather than his fur. She managed to orient herself before he started walking towards the golem. Her hoofs stuck to Discord like a magnet, providing her with the only sense of comfort she could salvage from the situation. The clones of her friends broke away from the face of the golem, allowing it to focus on the threat coming for it.

The sudden change in the size of its opponent didn’t have any effect on the golem. It was created to smash, so it would smash, for smashing was all it knew. Rarity’s estimation of its character was confirmed the moment it decided to lead with its hammer. Discord dodged with a deft sidestep worthy of a world-class ballerina. While in movement, he plucked Rarity with his lion paw and stuck her almost right where she needed to be.

Rarity tensed up and waited to see if the golem had noticed what Discord had done. It gave no indication that it had. Its focus was on Discord. She could hardly blame it. He flipped his eyelids in on themselves and blew a raspberry at the golem. Rarity scrambled towards the head of the golem as it charged at Discord and found something she hadn’t been able to spot from the ground. The head was sunken into its armor. There was just enough space for her to fit into the opening. A red glow emitted from the crack, likely coming from an activated sigil.

All she had ever wanted to do was make dresses. Life just wasn’t fair.

She forced herself to scuttle into the crack. A horrendous grating noise filled her ears and sent goosebumps down her body. Every time the golem turned its head, she felt it. If it could snap back for any reason, someone else was going to have to finish Ocean’s wedding dress. She knew she had to be quick, but she hadn’t quite overcome the awkwardness of her magnet hoofs. Rarity shuffled towards the glow to the best of her limited ability. Each successful step made her feel better about her odds.

Rarity positioned herself next to the luminescent magical stamp. It could almost be considered a work of art. Rarity had seen plenty of them, but none were as elaborate as the one she was about to destroy. Three intertwined rings full of symbols managed to power something a million times their size.

She pulled the Twilicane from her back and used its head to strike the sigil in the center of its design. Glass shattered. One of the rings separated itself from the other two and the sigil vanished.

“Rarity, brace yourself!” the clone of Dash shouted.

Dash’s double nabbed her and flew out of the crevice a mere second before the golem began hitting itself in the back of the head trying to shake out what was crawling around behind its head.

“What’s going on?” Rarity asked. “Did that not take care of it?”

“Doesn’t look like it,” Dash replied.

In Puppeteers, Adder disabled a golem with a bolt of magic carrying a powerful disenchantment spell. There were other details, such as the antagonist being talented enough to take manual control of the golem for a second round of smashing, but none of them fit the debacle in front of her. More work was left to be done. Golems weren’t given life for it to be taken away so easily. Two rings remained and they weren’t going to be in locations that were easily accessible.

On the brighter side of the matter, the golem had lost all interest in Discord and was now far more concerned with Rarity. Its fiery blue eyes followed her in the air. Rarity jerked, momentarily uncertain if she still had the Twilicane in her aura. She looked to the right and saw the Twilicane sailing through the air next to them. Dash’s rescue hadn’t broken her concentration. She sighed in relief and tucked it under a foreleg.

Two trails of blue fire shot from the eyes of the golem into the air at its moving targets. Dash and Rarity both screamed, but Dash managed to avoid being burnt to a crisp and slid in between the twin streams of fire. The golem crossed its eyes and the walls of blue fire closed in on them. Dash held Rarity closer to her body and made a break for the head of the golem, intending to fly over its head and get behind the aggressive statue.

Anticipating the intent of the fly in front of it, the golem shut off its flamethrowers and brought the hammer in front of its face. Dash had a millisecond to correct her course. Discord’s copy of her couldn’t have been closer to the original. Dash sailed upward, seeking to get over the hammer. Rarity’s hind leg scraped against the stone hammer, pulling a squeak out of her. She drew her limbs in, but didn’t have to scrunch up for very long. They soared above the hammer at an angle, completely dodging it.

Rarity strained to look behind them and saw Discord moving in. Dash turned around, giving her a better view of the action. The splat the golem had been hoping for hadn’t happened, which left it confused and vulnerable for a few precious seconds. Discord shoved the golem. It was a childish retort, but if he could have punched it without breaking any bones or struck it with an object that dealt damage, he would have. The force of his push got the golem to stumble backwards and fall to the ground. Unfortunately, it managed to keep its grip on its trusty hammer.

The copy of Twilight appeared next to them. “A red sigil featuring two circles has appeared on the wrist of the golem’s left hand.”

Rarity tugged on Dash’s arm. “There’s no time to waste. We need to smash that sigil before the brute can get back on its feet. Hurry, take me down there now!”

Dash swooped in behind the golem with an alarming amount of speed. She dropped Rarity two steps from the wrist, broke away to the right, and sought cover behind a pillar. The surface Rarity stood on moved around much more than the one she had previously scurried across. Her brain told her she was going to fall off, but her hoofs stayed glued to the golem’s body. She crouched down and took a few nimble steps towards the wrist of the golem as it stood back up.

The sigil was nowhere to be found. It had to be on the other side of the hand, across from the golem’s palm. She shimmied to the right, not daring to raise any of her hoofs any higher than necessary. A glowing red mark appeared. As she inched closer to her goal, she noticed the golem had stopped moving its arm. She could feel a set of eyes watching her wiggle furiously across the stone skin.

Against her better judgment, Rarity turned her head and discovered the golem was looking right at her. With a pitiful whimper, she went back to what she had been doing. It took every ounce of her resolve not to panic. Tears and sobs had surpassed her ability to suppress them. Never had she been closer to an untimely demise.

The golem held its arm very still as it rose its hammer into the air. Even the slightest tap would put an end to her. Discord appeared behind the golem and grabbed the arm ending in the hand carrying the improvised fly swatter. He made a great deal of noise as he pinned the arm behind the golem’s back. It was much stronger than him. He wouldn’t be able to restrain it for very long. Rarity took advantage of the opportunity given to her and slammed the Twilicane into the sigil. Glass shattered again and the sigil vanished.

Rarity barely had enough time to blink before Dash came to the rescue. She confirmed she still had a magical grip on the Twilicane before checking to see what was new with the golem. As expected, it still functioned. Ignoring Rarity for the time being, it reached behind its back and grabbed the hand of the arm Discord had pinned in order to gain some control over it. The golem pulled its pinned arm down, raised its right leg above Discord’s dragon foot, and stomped it. Discord yelped and lost his advantage. The golem used its free arm to elbow Discord in the face and broke away from his hold. It swung its hammer at Discord’s skull and knocked off a chunk of his antler before he teleported to safety.

Discord teleported into a corner. He held his lion paw up against his mouth. White light emitted from it. A healing spell. He had been hurt, but the golem still wouldn’t consider him the bigger threat.

Another copy of Rainbow Dash appeared from nothing in front of Rarity. She carried a copy of Rarity, who blew a kiss and winked at the real Rarity. Something was off about Rarity’s twin. The clone had two diamonds on her hip instead of three. It was time to start worrying. Discord didn’t have much magical energy left. Another pair of copies appeared before the golem turned around in search of them. The display caused the monster to freeze. It couldn’t determine who to attack first, which gave everyone a chance to scatter in different directions and find cover.

“The final sigil is on the heel of its right foot!” The clone of Twilight had taken a cue from Luna, using the royal voice to alert the real Rarity without giving away her position.

Instead of finishing what it had started with Discord or taking down the clones one by one, the golem took up a defensive stance. Rarity knew it wouldn’t let them escape from the room. It also wasn’t taking any more chances.

All she and Discord had to do was trick it into stepping on the Twilicane. It wouldn’t make it easy for them. Running around in circles with the Twilicane held high and hoping it would be dumb enough to step on them seemed like an idea that would end poorly. They needed to cheat.

A flash of inspiration struck Rarity. “Hey. Clone of my good friend Rainbow Dash. If I tell you something, will Discord also hear it?”

“Yup. What’s the plan?”

“He and I should go beneath this room so we can get underneath the golem’s foot. Once there, he can create a hole right below its heel and I will send the Twilicane through it directly into the sigil.”

Dash had vanished. Discord was holding her. “That’s brilliant. Let’s finish this.”

They fell as if they had lost the ability to remain levitated. Rarity knew it was for show, but couldn’t stop herself from instinctively balling up seconds before they hit the floor, which drew laughter from Discord. The spot they landed on immediately flipped over to the other side, putting them beneath the room. For a moment, the rules of gravity still applied to them and Rarity was certain she was going to fall into the void. She felt something in her head pulse and could suddenly accept that down was, in fact, up. Her socks also hadn’t vanished, which brought her an additional source of comfort.

Discord led the way and motioned for her to follow. He pointed to the only structure in sight rising from the stone floor. “We’re going over there.”

She spotted broken windows and recognized where they were headed. He hadn’t yet gotten rid of the hospital they had been hiding in. Rarity took off in a gallop.

The golem’s footsteps echoed through the floor. They would be within striking range before they reached the building Discord so desperately wanted to get to. The second she finished processing the danger they would inevitably be in, the ground shook, knocking her off her hoofs and sending her face first into the cobblestone.

Pain clouded her vision, but she could see Discord kneeling with his lion paw touching the ground. The force traveling through the cobblestone should have sent them flying into the air. Their quest would have been over before they hit the ground since the shock wave would have pushed their lungs through their spines. Absorbing the blow was another testament to Discord’s power. But he shouldn’t have had to do it.

“Why is at after us again?” Rarity asked. “What happened to our decoys?”

The look he gave her was one she hadn’t seen since before he had been reformed. “Get to the structure, Rarity!”

His anger spurred her into action. Instead of following her, Discord remained where he was. This hadn’t been part of her plan. He had altered it without consulting with her. Discord’s plan needed to be the best one in the history of everything. If it wasn’t, Rarity would spend about four days falling. Her final thoughts wouldn’t cease to remind her how good a cucumber sandwich and a cup of green tea would taste.

Another blow from the hammer shook the floor around her, but its impact had been focused behind her. She turned to look and couldn’t find Discord. Her eyes returned to the road ahead. He stood near their goal, having teleported to safety once again. Thunderous footsteps rained down from above as the golem moved forward.

When Rarity reached Discord, he pulled her into a teleportation spell. After popping back into reality, Rarity faced the structure again from a different angle.

Discord knelt and held her steady. “Wait. Quietly.”

The golem hesitated for what felt like an eternity until it began coming right for them. As it took a step forward, Discord caused the structure to fall into oblivion, creating a hole. The golem’s foot went right through it. A tremendous commotion filtered through the floor as the golem completely lost its balance and collapsed.

Rarity couldn’t help but laugh. “Yes! Good work, Discord!”

The area around the foot of the golem turned into blue glitter glue, which hardened immediately. Rarity’s next view was from on top of the golem’s heel after Discord finished another teleportation spell. The final sigil spun silently in front of her. Its red glow had diminished and the speed it rotated at had quadrupled. Since the golem could only move its foot a mere smidge, Rarity had no trouble bringing the head of the Twilicane down on the sigil. Once again, the sound of glass shattering accompanied the destruction of the sigil as it broke apart and vanished.

Another teleportation spell from Discord placed them back in the room with the golem. Enough magic remained for it to take a break from attempting to pull its foot free of the trap and glance over at the pair that had defeated it. The fire in its eyes burned out and it finally stopped moving.

Rarity tossed the Twilicane aside. “Adder, eat your heart out.”

The opportunity to say a really cool line after such a harrowing encounter provided her with the satisfaction the demise of the golem had failed to deliver. It didn’t crumble into pieces like it had in the novel, most likely because it could still be salvaged in its current state. She turned to address Discord, who had been reclining in a chair while munching on popcorn throughout the whole affair.

“Rarity, I have to tell you with complete honesty and zero sarcasm that I’m truly impressed. That was quite something.”

“I appreciate it, but I don’t think now is the best time to be relaxing. Hasn’t an alarm been triggered? Something worse than the golem might come after us if we don’t hurry.”

“True, but I think we have enough time to play around for another minute now that it’s possible to cast all forms of magic on the golem.”

A magical explosion engulfed the golem. Once it cleared, the hole was all that remained from the battle. Discord presented a miniature statue of the golem to her. Its hammer lied on the ground next to it after having been discarded to allow use of both its hands to try and free its foot from the hole.

“Would you like this?” Discord asked.

Rarity turned slightly to look away from the statue. “The curios I collect don’t fall into that category.”

“Suit yourself. I’m going to keep it on my living room coffee table. If you ever want to borrow it, just let me know.”

“You might want to add ends to it. The figure won’t sit flat with its foot coming through the bottom.”

Ends grew from the corners of the figure.

“You think of everything,” Discord said.

“Please, you would have realized it yourself the moment you set it down. Now, can we get out of here? Adventure time is over. I need a bath and a comb to help me pick out whatever has gotten tangled up in my mane.”

Discord reached behind his back and produced the orange saddlebag as if he had been carrying it the whole time. He stuffed the Twilicane and the golem statue into it. His face contorted in pain as he retrieved the cube. Whatever alert they triggered hadn’t been called off. They were still in trouble.

The cube shook in Discord’s grasp. He hissed after completing a turn. “I was able to get in a few moves while we were busy. This shouldn’t take long.”

“If you tell me what to do, I’ll help.”

“If you touched this little devil with as hot as it is right now, you would instantly pass out.”

“You can rest for a minute if you have to.”

“If I put this thing down now, I’ll need a whole day until I can pick it up again. Besides. . .” He held the cube in front of him. “It’s finished. Put on your saddlebag.” Discord tossed the cube aside, abandoning it where it fell.

Rarity slipped the saddlebag on with the aid of her aura. “Will you ever be able to come back here if you feel the need to after what we have done?”

He smiled. “You’re so sentimental. I’m not sure. There’s something about this place that has always been good at disposing of delinquents. We had to have thrown it for a loop, but it will know what I’ve done unless I figure out how to trick it. Would it make you feel better if I came back in a few months after I’ve had a chance to recover from all the fun we’ve been through together and see if I could still wander into the dimension my parents created?”

“Yes, that would make me feel rather nice.”

“Your dream is my command. We’ll go out the way we came. And we had better be quick about it.”

Not needing to be told twice, Rarity burst into a full gallop, dodging the debris left behind by the fight. A room made of whipped cream and clouds came into view through the destroyed entrance to the arena. Rarity pushed herself harder as her hoofs touched jelly beans. It would be fitting if something delayed their escape the moment they reached the exit.

Rarity stopped in front of the ordinary door leading into a dimension she was far more familiar with to make sure she didn’t leave Discord behind. He entered the waiting room on a skateboard and had to be feeling better than she thought as he had neglected to put on any protective gear. Rarity opened the door, fully aware that they could be stepping into another dangerous situation.

The porch light cut through the darkness. Thousands of tiny spider eyes weren’t peering up at her. Gardenias were next to the door and the welcome mat was made from a different material. The door had spawned somewhere underground. A tunnel dug through the soil of the earth was ahead of her. Lanterns were set into the walls at fixed intervals, but none of them were in use. Before investigating further, Rarity waited to be sure Discord left first. He did a kick flip before crouching down to clear the door frame, which allowed Rarity to see that the bottom of his skateboard featured her cutie mark. She darted into Equestria, slamming the door behind her. A bolt latched, locking them out.

Discord didn’t bother with the lanterns since light filtered in from further down the trail. He led the way silently in case they were in danger. Rarity followed his example. A peculiar set of smells entered her awareness. Cotton candy, funnel cakes, and popcorn. The burrow was inhabited by a character with a sweet tooth. It didn’t set Rarity at ease. Sweets could be used to lure in victims, just like fairy tales warned.

Rarity followed Discord a short distance until they both came across a green, beaded curtain. The room passed it was full of disco balls, wrapping paper, pinatas, and a giant slide that led up to a trapdoor.

Rarity knew where they were. “Discord, this is Pinkie Pie’s party planning cave.”

A rustling noise drew her attention to an inconspicuous cardboard box sitting next to a table full of wrapped gifts. Pinkie burst out of it.

“Hey, Rarity! Hey, Discord! You two must have slammed that door at the end of the tunnel. Wow, that gave me quite a scare. Nothing has ever come out of there before.”

“We didn’t mean to startle you,” Rarity said.

“How was it?” Pinkie asked.

Rarity tilted her head. “I’m not quite sure what you’re asking.”

Pinkie laughed. “Your time inside that crazy place, silly.”

“Have you been in there before?”

“Yeah!”

Discord chuckled. “Why am I not surprised?”

“Did you find the room with the swimming pool full of tapioca pudding that never runs out no matter how much of it you eat?” Pinkie Pie asked.

“Why, yes. In fact, that was our destination.”

Pinkie’s expression relaxed as she remembered her time in the vault. “When I go to heaven, I hope it has one of those.”

“I’m sure it will, if only for your sake,” Rarity began heading towards the slide. “I’m afraid this is about all the time I can spare today,”

“Nah, I get it. You two look like you really had it rough in there. Rogue Damsel may help hide running for your life, but it doesn’t improve your posture. Just let me ask one more question before you hop on my slide. When will you be able to turn in Spike’s birthday present?”

Rarity laid down at the bottom of the slide, popping her back. “Tomorrow. I’m afraid I---”

“Couldn’t find the Fire Ruby and Discord said he’d help you make something better if you didn’t search for it?”

“There’s no fooling you, is there?”

“Not when the answer is that obvious.”

Rarity got up and began shimmying up the slide. “If you’ll excuse me, I have a bath to take, grunge to pull out of my mane, and a bottle of cider to help drown a certain truth in the pool of my mind.”

“What truth is that?”

She stopped and looked back at Pinkie. “Sooner rather than later, I’ll have to go adventuring again.”

Discord chuckled behind her. “In another life somewhere across this grand expanse of our existence, she’s an actress.”

“Really? What about me?” Pinkie asked.

“You’re always the life of the party.”

“Aww. I’m so glad you’re reformed.”

“Me too.”

Rarity didn’t have to turn around to know they were hugging.