Roseluck's Cookies

by Roseluck

Rating: everyone
Tags: Octavia, Comedy, Pinkie Pie, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Roseluck, Other, Princess Luna
Length: 2020

Roseluck can't cook.

Roseluck tries to bake cookies.

Too bad she can't bake.

Published 2012-08-16 18:44:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-16 18:44:01 UTC

Borborygmus

Roseluck was startled by a sudden rumbling sound. She hopped off her bed and searched outside her window for signs of thunder, only to be greeted with the sight of the moon and dozens of dazzling stars. Not a cloud in sight. Roseluck heard the sound again. She smacked her hoof hard on her forehead to find the sound was borborygmus coming from her stomach.

She sat down and wondered what she had eaten today. Roseluck walked into her kitchen, the cleanest room in her house, and sat down to think. She hadn't left the house, therefore, she didn't eat. Usually, Roseluck would go to Lily's and eat if she were in the mood for something wholesome. Sometimes she'd go to Daisy's house for something sweet. She hadn't gone anywhere, however, therefore she ate nothing.

Roseluck cannot cook to save her life. She was a slave to the mare who sold pre-made dishes at the delicatessen, and spent all her remaining grocery money at sugar cube corner for a pie that would last her a few days. She'd buy vegetables that she wouldn't mind eating un-steamed and plenty of fruits. She'd then save the seeds and plant them for her own.

Roseluck hadn't watered those seeds in a while, though. She'd been through a lot, and hadn’t been at her house in a while. This could probably be why she hadn't gone anywhere today. She sat on her couch and stared at the ceiling for an hour, then she cleaned her room and took a long bath. She took a nap that lasted about two hours and listened to the radio, which lead up to now; her realization that she forgot to eat.

It was way too late to ask her friends for food. The only ponies that were probably up at this time were the Lunarfoals, ponies that have been born in the nighttime that Luna favored. They were insomniacs. There were only a hoof-full of Lunarfoals in Equestria, and most of them lived in Ponyville. Roseluck knew them all well, so she decided to bug one of them.

Roseluck walked outside and was met with fireflies floating by her plants. A few flew with Roseluck to accompany her on her walk.

Roseluck trotted towards Sugar Cube corner, cautiously opening the door so that she didn’t wake the cake twins. She saw Pinkie raiding her own fridge, holding assorted snacks and sweet delicacies in the crook of her foreleg.

“Um…It’s not what it looks like?”

Roseluck eyeballed Pinkie’s loot.
“Hey…” Roseluck croaked shyly, “you wanna share some of that with ole’ Rosy?”

“Oh, this?” Pinkie asked, gesturing to the score. “This isn’t for me. This is for the cake twins. When they wake up late at night, I feed them sweets so they’ll get drowsy and fall asleep.

“Oh. Well, do you have anything to eat? I haven’t fed myself since I got home.”

“Oh, I know how you feel! Sadly, we don’t have anything readily available today. Hey! While I feed the twins, why don’t you help yourself to our ingredients and bake some cookies?”

“Oh…um I dunno, I can’t really-”

“You should go invite the other Lunarfoals too! We can have a lunar cookie party!”

“Sure. I’ll invite them.” Roseluck felt comfort in the fact that the others will probably know how to bake cookies. She walked back outside and headed for Octavia’s house.

You could always tell who house was Octavia’s by the abundance of awakened mockingbirds humming the sound of a cello. It was as if Octavia got on her roof or climbed a tree and started to play the large instrument.

Roseluck knocked on the door.

“Who could that be?” Octavia called out in a friendly tone, knowing it could only be one of the Lunarfoals awake at this hour.

“Roseluck.” Roseluck called back.

The door opened and Octavia ushered her in.

Octavia’s fireplace was lit and the television was running. This was Octavia’s pastime at this hour, rather than playing the cello. Ever since she moved from Canterlot to Ponyville, she decided her neighbors wouldn’t want to hear her play it all night.

“What brings you here, Miss Rose?” Octavia asked.

“If you’d like to come to the Sugar cube corner for cookies, you’re welcome. It’s a friendly get together.”

“Sounds delightful. Who’s baking? Pinkie?”

“I hope so.”

“Okay then. I’ll be there in a few.”

“Okay. Goodnight, then.”

And Roseluck was off into the night, heading for the hospital to see Nurse Red Heart.

The hospital lights were on, which was no surprise, so Roseluck simply walked in. When she made her way to the counter, she saw Nurse Red Heart and Aloe playing Jenga.

“Hello there, Rose!” Nurse Red Heart waved.

“Hey Rose…” Aloe spoke softly as she tried to take a Jenga block from the middle of the unstable tower. “…luck!” She yipped as she successfully retrieved the block.

“I was wondering if you wanted to accompany me at sugar cube corner for some cookies.” Roseluck asked.

“That sounds nice. Sounds nice, Red Heart?” Aloe asked.

“Yes… I love me some cookies. Pinkie’s baking them, right?”

“…yes…” Roseluck said uneasily. “See you there.”

“Wait.” Aloe said, knocking down the tower. “Let us come with you.”

“Why did you!?” Red Heart growled then slowly began to giggle.

So the three mares all walked to Sugar cube corner. They saw Octavia along the way and chatted along the way over there. One of the topics of conversation was how delicious Pinkie’s cookies were going to be. Roseluck didn’t enter that conversation.

When they arrived at sugar cube corner, tables in the customers section were set. A mirror was placed by the window to catch moonlight and point it onto a glossy ceiling, making the room dimly lit.

“Hello there, girls!” Pinkie whispered excitedly to the other Lunarfoals. They all exchanged hugs and greetings and news about their day.

“So Pinkie,” Octavia finally asked, “where are your marvelous cookies?”

“I don’t have any cookies. Rose didn’t make ‘em yet.”

Everypony turned to Roseluck.

“My, my.” Octavia started, gazing at Roseluck in awe, “a botanist, florist, and a baker?”

“N-no you’ve got it all wrong-“

“And since Pinkie recommended her, she must be good.” Red Heart added.

“I can’t cook for sh-“

“Come on Rose! What are you doing here?” Pinkie asked, shoving Roseluck. “Get in the kitchen!”

Roseluck fell on the tile floor of the Kitchen. She tried to escape, but Pinkie shut the door in her face.

“Cookie sheets are in the top shelf, Rose! Good luck!.” Pinkie snickered.

“Phooey.” Roseluck said looking around the kitchen. Wire whisks, rubber scrapers, pans, spatulas, flippers, all these items were foreign to Roseluck due to the fact the Roseluck used her kitchen as a dining room. Roseluck had only used colanders to help water her plants. Turkey basters were also to water flowers, and to take up excess water from the soil after heavy rain.

Roseluck was at a loss. Then she saw Pinkie’s cook book laying on the counter. She flicked the light on and opened it up. Cupcakes and cream puffs were book marked. Sure enough, Roseluck found the recipe for cookies.

Roseluck pulled out a large bowl and felt confident in herself. She read the ingredients to make 50 cookies.

The first ingredients were 7 eggs. So Roseluck went to the fridge and put 7 eggs into the bowl.

The next ingredients were 4 cups of flour.

Roseluck knew not to make the same mistake last time she tried to bake and used actual flowers. Roseluck got a bag of flower and dumped all it’s contents into the bowl.

The next ingredients were two sticks of butter. Roseluck walked outside via the back door and grabbed two sticks. She then went back inside and lathered them in butter. She crushed them up and threw them into the bowl.

Smiling, she checked the next ingredient, which was vanilla extract. Roseluck wondered if that meant the flower, or some strange powder. She checked the cabinet and found a bottle labeled Vanilla Extract. She sniffed it and poured the contents into the bowl.

The next ingredient was Brown sugar. Roseluck felt proud of her intuitiveness and she grabbed a cup and filled it with sugar. She then got brown food coloring and poured it into the sugar. She stirred the contents in the cup and poured them into the bowl.

The final ingredients were salt and baking soda.

Roseluck was foolish, and she grabbed a name brand carbonated drink and threw it in the oven. She set the oven to bake, and while that was going on, Rose poured a box of salt into her concoction.

She could hear a whistling sound, and she assumed the baking soda was finished baking. She plopped on her oven mitts and poured the bubbling hot soda into the bowl.

She stood back to look at her bowl of cookies. She walked over to the cabinet and produced an ice cream scoop. She used it to stir her ingredients together and to scoop balls of dough onto the cookie sheet.

When she had filled two cookie sheets of twenty five cookies, she threw them carelessly into the oven. Roseluck threw off her oven mitts and stared proudly at the oven, happy that she finally was able to cook something. She walked out of the kitchen and took a bow.

“Are they in the oven?” Pinkie asked, holding a large bottle of cider.

“They sure are Pinkie!” Rose said confidently.

Twenty minutes of drinking and laughing and talking and Pinkie reminding the others that two foals were asleep upstairs had past when Roseluck realized her cookies were done.

She entered the kitchen to the inviting smell of a bakery and plopped her oven mitts on. She pulled out the two cookie sheets happy to see her cookies had come out perfectly. She closed the oven with her hips and walked out the party.

“Cookies are done!” Roseluck announced, throwing the cookie trays into the table.

Everypony cheered silently. Pinkie was the first to dig in.

Roseluck monitored Pinkie’s face as she tried the cookie. Pinkies expression serioused up when she took the first bite. Despite the cookies being super soft, Roseluck could hear an occasional crunch with each time Pinkie chewed. Pinkie cringed when she swallowed and stood up on her hind legs.

“Come here.” Pinkie beckoned to Roseluck. They walked into the kitchen to talk alone.

“Why didn’t you just tell me you didn’t know what you were doing?”

“I tried to, but you didn’t let me.”

“Don’t give me that. These cookies are horrible. You’re lucky the others waited until they cooled down.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. I’ll bake a new batch.”

“I used all the flour.”

“…”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. Let’s just feed those cookies to the birds, get some milk and call it a night.”

“Sounds good.”

Pinkie and Roseluck walked in on Nurse Red Heart performing the Heimlich maneuver on Octavia. She ended up spitting out a twig onto the floor.

Pinkie looked over at Roseluck.

“You almost killed somepony.” Pinkie hissed.

“Like you haven’t!” Roseluck grumbled back.

“Dear Luna! What was in those cookies?” Octavia choked out.

“Did somepony summon me?”

Everypony looked towards the door to see the elegant silhouette of Princess Luna.

“Oh! Cookies! You’ve prepared a sweet offering for my summoning.” Luna levitated a cookie over to her mouth and chewed it. She then looked at the mortals before her.

“Who created these…” Luna asked.

Everypony pointed at Roseluck.

“They’re delightful!!” Luna squealed to everypony’s surprise.

“Hubba-wha?” Aloe asked uncomfortably.

“These cookies take me back a millennium.” Luna said. “Delicatus….sapidus.”

“Oh!” Pinkie said, astonished. “Okay.”

“Really?” Roseluck asked.

“Yes. These are so wonderful.” Luna assured, ushering everypony but Roseluck into the kitchen with her wings.

Once all the ponies were in the kitchen, Luna cantered to the sink and spit out the cookies.

“Those cookies tasted like death.” Luna spoke. “Roseluck is forbidden to bake cookies from this day forth. Intelligitur?” (Understood?)

“Certe.” (Yes.) Everypony agreed.