Chapters Author's Note
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Monday Morning
The sun rose as it did everyday, the birds chirping happily as their voices filled the air. It was a peaceful morning and meant to be uneventful, though opening the door to my house made a frown appear.
A faint snoring joined the sounds of waking up, making my lips turn down in a frown. Well I guess Twilight fell asleep in my bushes again. Slowly I walked over to my garden hose, turning the knob to the coldest flow I could manage and as much pressure as the extra-dimensional pipes could produce. Soon I began my rounds of walking to each and every bush, peeking inside each one before finally only two remained.
My antics had gathered a crowd by now, a good distance away a mare was selling popcorn as a stallion was taking last minute bets. I waved for the pool to close as I stepped up the the left most bush, peeling it back slowly a sight scorched my eyes with its fury. I gagged and let the leaves fall back down as I soon glared at the offending shrubbery. It contained Lyra, a pony most well known to the town as 'Humans did it' conspiracy theorist. Since I had arrived more ponies didn't call her crazy, but still asked me if humans caused things like a missing shoe.
I held up the hose, moments away from blasting the bush before shaking my head. 'No I blasted Lyra last week after I found her first. Twilight deserves it.' So with many a groan of lost bits I stalked over and peeled back the branches. Curled up with a pair of night vision goggles in her hooves was Twilight. There was her fields journal which was settled a bit to the side, my foot scooted it away from the blast zone before I took aim.
The crowd waited with bated breath before I pulled the trigger and sent a stream of cold water right against her wings and fur. She awoke with a start before rolling in her back and kicking her legs like she was running. Her wings flapping and smacking against the dirt as her instincts kicked in. A chorus of laughter and a few whoops echoed in the air before I walked and started sliding Twilight towards the other bush and soon had the pair of ponies being pushed by a stream of water. I smirked as several ponies gawked as their sudden win was whisked away but one colt stood proudly as he had won the pot.
The two mares laid in a heap of hooves and wet hair. I snorted at the pair before walking back to shut off my hose. The mood already soured by this all I walked back into my house and slammed the door.
I stood in my front hallway and blinked as a pony stood at the door to my living room. "Who are you?" I asked it. It looked like a pony but was all black with compound green eyes. Dragonfly like wings buzzed on its back as it looked towards me.
"Oh it's me Carrot Top." It responded with a voice like a foghorn.
I blinked before opening my door to peek out and see the mare in question selling carrot products to the mob of betters and spectators. So with a frown I turned back towards the thing in my house, grabbing a flip flop from the floor. "Oi you aint senorita Top, seniõr. Yousa an impostor!" I stalked forward and held the flip flop before its nose. "Now are you gay or European?"
The changeling was startled as it looked at the footwear being waggled before it. Both eyes seeming to cross before it fell back onto its flanks. "Umm gay?" It seemed nervous, uncertain at its own response.
"Oh, why didn't you say so!" I yelled out happily, grabbing the thing by a hoof and dragging it to a door. Now if people say Equestria is bright, this door and the world beyond got it beat for days. It was neon rainbow with glitter and sparkles. It made me shiver at the sheer amount of it all. Slowly I opened the door before hoisting the changeling up by horn and tail before tossing it in and locking the door. "Hope they like it there."
With that bow accomplished I started down the hallway when a door opened up. A tall olive skin man stood there before frowning. "Were they not European today?"
"No Ricardo they weren't. Now please take your speedo and get back in your door."
"Well aren't you rude. Ricardo out!" He clapped his fingers before music began to play and the hall was filled with disco lights. His bulge swinging with his hips before he twerked back into his world.
I groaned out before locking the door again as a knock came from my door. It prompted me to sigh and slowly head back and open it. "Yes?"
A wet and angry Lyra and Twilight stood before me, both mares seeming to charge their horns. I frowned before reaching out to flick the tip of each as I sent their spells flying off into Ponyville.
Lyra's bolt hit Applejack's cart before freezing it and the mare running it into a solid block of ice. The mare inside seeming cross as she glared out from her icy confines.
The spell from Twilight was a bit different, it hit the side of a building. Barely missing Mayor Mare who was on her morning jog. The wall seemed to melt into a pool of goo before two eyestalks rose up from its mass. Quickly and quietly it slipped down an alleyway to escape experimentation or extermination.
So I stood before two mares who seemed like I'd kicked them in the family jewels. "This happens every Monday. Give it a rest! I mean seriously I've told you both I'm not interested in testing or experimentation. Now begone thot and nerd!" With that I slammed my door and began my morning as a resident of a multidimensional doored house.
I groaned as I walked into the kitchen, looking around as I noticed an aura around a few floating utensils as they were washing, drying, and putting themselves away. It brought a small smile to my face as I peaked under the table, noticing a certain pony eating a stack of pancakes as she looked up. She had rolled a whole pancake up into a roll, dipped it into a small tub of syrup before eating it.
"Good Morning Trixie. Enjoying some breakfast without me as usual?" I smirked as mt hands reached in to grab her plate and take it away before going back to grab her by the barrel. She was scrambling on the wooden floor with her hooves but found no purchase. "Now none of that, I've told you since I found you there the first time. Eat at the table not under it." I set her in one of the chairs before walking to my fridge and grabbing some orange juice and milk.
"Trixie will have you know she did not start the day doing anything. She sleep walked to make breakfast." Trixie gave before happily going back to enjoying her breakfast as she nibbled at her current roll. I rolled my eyes before setting two glasses of orange juice on the table before snagging a pancake myself before nibbling it myself.
"Well then what are your plans for today? I already hosed down Twilight and Lyra so my day is free. Wanna go somewhere else or just hang around Ponyville for a while?" I sat down across from her as I kept grabbing and enjoying the pancakes.
"Trixie would prefer not to get lost in another realm she does not know. So she wishes to go into Ponyville for lunch and maybe perform there for them." She smirked as she shot off a spark, it weaved through the air before popping into the center of my pancake and exploding out as I bit down on it.
"Gaaaah!!" I fell backwards, groaning as I felt the floor meet the back of my head before looking at my newly minted magical flapping pancake. It hovered in the air for a moment before flying back and landing upon the stack Trixie had.
"That shall teach you to take Trixie's hard cooked food. Now what shall we do today for fun friend?" She smirked as I stood and brushed myself off, picking up the chair to set it by the table. My brows furrowed as I thought for a way to pay the cheeky mare back for that before an evil idea formed in my head.
"Same thing we do every Monday Trixie, take of the world!" I had kept a straight face as I saw the gears turning and shortly come to a screeching halt as Trixie stared at my with wide eyes before flapping her jaw as the gears tried starting to form a coherent response. After a full minute of silence it was broken as I started laughing as she seemed to creak for a moment before falling over on her side. My laughter doubled as I saw this, making me almost miss the knock at my door.
I stumbled through the house as I tried to recover, having left a pancake with a hole in the middle atop Trixie's horn as a warning for next time. My door was glowing softly as the color selector beside it was flashing. It had four main colors, blue, green, red, and black. The blue light flickered as I grabbed the knob and turned to it. Then I grabbed the door handle and opened it up, peaking out as an Amazon driver was standing there with a package for me.
"Oh sweet, I didn't expect you so early." I grabbed the package before signing for it.
"Amazon Expedition service!" He laughed before jogging back to his truck to continue with his day.
I closed the door before turning around and starting down the hall before a knock came from the door again. This time the green light flickering. I groaned aloud before switching the colors and opening the door to reveal a group of ponies who didn't look too pleased.
Standing before me were 'The Elements of Harmony'. Their necklaces on and glowing as they had glares directed towards me. I noticed the streets were clear and several golden armor pieces lay scattered on my lawn as if ripped from their uses in long strips. I eyed the elements before grabbing a carrot from a bowl I kept on my front stand, nibbling the end before leaning on my door frame. "So what's up docs?"
The group of mares just glared at me before Princess Twilight stepped forward. "Richard, you and your evil influence shall be stopped today. For too long have you tormented the ponies of this town and shown contempt for their woes. They have started unlawfully gambling every Monday before your house, allowing colts and fillies to join in. None of the residents have reported you as being their friend, so with a heavy heart as the princess of friendship. I condemn you to a year in stone to contemplate your crimes."
I stood there, nibbling the carrot before raising a brow as I leaned out and eyed Fluttershy, hiding behind the rest of them like always. My eyes looked right into the one of hers I could see before I saw the doubt within it before leaning back as I stepped out of my house. "Okay Twilight, let me list your crimes then."
"I have done no crimes. I have only looked for answers." She rebutted almost immediately.
"Oh well let me tell you, in my world trying break into someone's house when they sleep is a crime. When someone finds you on their property without permission it's a crime. Now please get off my lawn." I looked at them before I saw a flash of yellow and pink from behind them as Fluttershy booked it towards her cottage. My visage loomed over the rest before I crossed my arms and raised a brow.
They group looked to each other and nodded before they started to focus, not even caring what I said before they seemed to glow and rise up into the air before suddenly slamming back down on the ground with a collective groan. I smirked before walking over and flicking Twilight's horn again. "Stop the stupid." I turned and headed back inside before closing the door and grabbing my package before heading back into the kitchen. Trixie had finished the stack of pancakes and was somewhere in the house. I wasn't looking forward to telling her Ponyville was off the menu today.
I set the package down before grabbing a small knife, cutting ti open quickly before looking down at the newest pieces of my collection. I pulled out my latest coffee mugs, one of Venom with his maw open wide, teeth every which direction and one of Joker, a green hahaha leading off to the side. Both of them stood proudly along with the rest of my cups, making a smile cross my face before I headed towards the bathroom to get ready for my day. I knew just where to take Trixie, it wasn't Ponyville but it would still be impressive.
I took a deep breath before looking at the door before me. It was one with a dial but this one was different then most. It moved through time instead of through dimensions. This dial had three sections to it instead of the four for the front. Each one had a different symbol on it. The first was of a pacifier, color light blue with sparkles around it. Next to that was a Wand and Moon set against a brown background. Finally there is a black triangle with a skull and crossbones on it. I eyed the final one, so tempted to open it but always resisting the urge to. The door was on the middle one, making me smile some before giving a rapt tap on the door. "Trixie, you ready yet?" I knew my voice was carried through the wood, to the current setting.
"Almost, but you can open the door." The reply was quick to come before I did so, looking into the small wagon from the doorway. It was filled with clutter of all sorts. I saw several spell books littering the floor as her various cloaks and hats were set about different hooks and racks. Fast Food wrappers littered the spots here and there, all from various places and locations. Trixie was standing there, adjusting her smallest hat in the mirror as her cape billowed behind her in the wind from a fan.
"Heh we going to perform today or just a walk through the town?" I teased, standing there as I leaned on the frame and crossed my arms.
"Trixie enjoys presenting herself for a potential audience. You never know where the next performance will occur, for the world is a stage. The need and urge to perform fills one at any time and the key to success is to..." She takes a moment before stomping her hoof as a set of magical sparks shot off behind her. Her horn not even glowing at all. "BE PREPARED!" Her voice rang out in the small little wagon house before echoing off the walls in some sort of distancing volume before dying out.
I stood there with a smile on my face before stepping away from the door before bumping her with a hip to her shoulder. "Nice Trixie, now tell me. How did you do that all without your horn glowing like a lamp."
A smug grin crossed her lips before she snorted before walking towards the door. "Trixie shall never reveal her secrets like any good performer. Now tell me, where in Ponyville shall we be going?"
I frowned a bit before walking out behind her and closing the door, watching as the selector fade away. The wand and moon in the place of a peephole looked the same as Trixie's cutie mark. "Well about that, the Elements tried to zap me again. So I decided we should go somewhere else for today."
A frown touched her lips before glaring back towards me as she swung her nose up in a pouty stance. "Hmm well then where are we going?" Her tone sounding annoyed and a bit hoity.
I winced a little as I knew that face and voice, I was metaphorically in the dog house. If I didn't make her happy she wouldn't visit me for at least a week. She was one of my few friends from Equestria, and it kinda was cute when she got like this but it hurt me. Slowly I walked down the hall before standing before a door holding a symbol with long points reaching up from the base. I placed my hand on the knob before swinging it open as a gust of wind rushed through and filled my house with the smells of a city followed through.
I stepped out onto a balcony, looking down across the golden city before us. Spires of metal rising up into the heavens as various small ships flew between them. Walkways filled with people of all shapes, sizes, and races filled the city. A heavy thumping filled the air as smoke billowed out from stacks atop a few massive ships high above. Their hulls slowly rising up towards the sky as they began moving away from their moors. Grinding filled the air from below as walkers of all shapes and sizes moved through the streets, lowering or stepping over walkways and carriages. All the colors a muted bronze or gold, reflecting the sun of mid morning sun high above.
Trixie looked out from the doorway, her eyes wide as before stepping forward as if she was in a dream. One of her steps might disturb it and make her wake up. It made me smile before stepping on the edge of the balcony. Her eyes twinkling with a love of it all before reaching the balcony as she was looking at the machines and ships all over. Then the races all around them made her smile as she was overjoyed about all of this.
I looked towards her as the door closed before the magic from the house took over my form. I groaned softly as the bones popped in my shoulders before two giant copper and brass wings sprouted. I had traveled to many different worlds and well, I kept my door open for a reason when I went out. My body changed to be something fitting for the world more. The new wings had a leather stretched across rings to keep it taught when open. I stretched them a little as the feeling of having them was odd but natural, just part of the magic of my house. I looked towards the balcony and Trixie peering out over the spires before walking up as my clothes shifted to a bit more fitting for the city. "Welcome madam to the City of Spires Mardane."
She looked up at me with bright eagerness before gasping at the sight of the wings and my hands grabbed by the barrel before lifting her up. My wings opened wide before I stepped onto the rail and fell forward. Trixie grabbed onto me tightly and started screaming as her wails filled the air as we started to fall. I flapped my wings once before we started to move through the Spires. I was gonna impress her no matter what.
I let out a satisfied groan as I sat down. My shoulders and back ached from all the effort I put in. Trixie had screamed for only the first couple of seconds before calming down. Then she had enjoyed herself beyond belief. The residents had looked up as we soared past and smiled or waved. It was a regular occurrence when someone with wings took their friend for a flight.
So now I sat at a fountain bench, looking across the crowded place as Trixie was setting up a small impromptu show for the populace. Kids loved the firework display, parents enjoyed the compelling stories. It was all around a good time as I saw her in her natural element. I'd seen what happened in Ponyville, it actually sickened me that people would ridicule someone for how they acted on stage. Though that wasn't the first time I had met Trixie.
I stood in Equestria for a bit before closing my door as I went back inside. It had been an odd morning, a unicorn had tried to break through my door. The good news was that she didn't even scratch my door or the paint of my house. Bad news was that my lawn was ruined, the grass was either frozen, burnt to a crisp, or sogged with water to the point it was a swamp. There was even a poor baby dragon looking battered and beaten by my door.
I opened my door that morning and he was the first thing I noticed. So like a responsible adult I kidnapped him, by carrying him inside. I found a small room just off the kitchen. So I set him up in a nice warm blanket and a ham sandwich sitting on the end table.
Slowly I walked back to my front door to see a large coalition of rainbow energy before it shot towards me. I simply closed my door and heard the solid smack against it. I held up my hand and counted down the fingers before opening the door to see not a scratch on it. I smirked before looking towards the six ponies. They weren't the politest ones around but they were apparently national heroes. So they got off on being rude to newcomers.
This was the week after I had first stepped into their world. Ponies seemed nice enough when there wasn't any sign of a threat. I did seem a threat but the elements were out of town at the time for one reason or another so the populace just sorta looked at me and offered a guard as sacrifice for sparing their lives. I had found it unnecessary and that I'd rather be friends. The mayor who had dressed in black robes and held a book labeled. '101 Ways to Appease Strange Monsters!' I raised an eye at the title but she and the whole town waved it off as they dealt with some kind of disaster every Tuesday since they were founded. So the town had co-authored the book.
Fluttershy was the only one still there and had found me to just be like all her animal friends. She even brought me a plate of raw fish. When I declined and said I needed it cooked to eat it she happily went off as the citizens started dispersing. That was also the first time I dealt with Lyra....
Back to the initial flashback, the elements had returned and convinced the town and Fluttershy I was some sort of dimensional monster after I had taken Spike in. It was odd that they thought treating a kid for injuries for being used as a battering ram made ME the monster.
After the smoke cleared they all gasped at seeing me standing there with the door open. "So you guys gonna explain why you tried to destroy my house?"
They just looked at each other before forming a huddle outside my fence. It was rather rude of them as I walked towards my garden hose. If they wanted to play hardball I'd happily join in. So with a quick twist the water filled the hose before I walked towards the group. Fluttershy seemed to shy away from the group as they were talking about setting me in the royal dungeons for study and disturbing the peace.
"Disturbing the peace? Yeah no, bad stupid ponies." They all turned towards me right as I pulled the trigger. Water shot out and soaked them immediately as they slipped and got pushed away towards the other side of the road. All of them making noises of distress before I ended the stream with a huff. "That's for shooting at me and ignoring me. Now behave or else I'll take drastic measures."
I walked back and shut off the hose before heading back inside as I slammed the door. It had rubbed me the wrong way to see them react as if I was the bad guy for fixing their mistake. I walked through the hallway and randomly punched a door. It swung open quickly as a few yelps sounded from within. I peered through the frame to see a group of foals all huddled together a few feet away from me. I eyed a few before a small teal filly looked up with wonder in her eyes. "Do it again! Do it again!"
I raised a brow before closing the door. I waited to the count of five before opening it again. "Boo!"
Several colts and fillies screamed as they ran towards the school a few hundred feet away. The small filly from before stood there with stars in her eyes. Literally somehow her pupils had turned into stars. It kinda freaked me out before I reached a hand to boop her. "Stop that."
She blinked as her nose scrunched up before she gave an adorable sneeze. "Stop what?" She looked up at me and tilted her head in that adorable way all kids with questions do.
I clutched at my chest before groaning as I slumped against the door. Slowly sliding down it before ending up at her level. "Being too cute." I flopped down on my back halfway out the door.
I closed my eyes as I gave a dramatic and epic death scene. As my tongue flopped to the side all I could manage to say was, "Bleh." I laid there twitching slightly to make a convincing body.
Well at least to me it was, the filly just giggled before poking me in the ribs. I didn't wince but it tickled so much that I had to resist the urge to laugh. "Mister you okay?" I heard the giggle in her voice and held still for a few more seconds. The next jab was a bit less forceful as she echoed herself. "Mister wake up." There was that joyful tone again.
With a groan I slowly started to sit up, tongue hanging out as I looked towards her. "Braaaiins!" I snatched her before applying tickles to her sides before setting her down after a small fit of giggles and she almost kicked me in the jewels.
Both of us were out of breath and smiling like a pair of fools before a cough alerted us to about a dozen guards standing near us. None of them seemed hostile and most had a grin as they eyed me up. The commander seemed to eye me up before noticing the hallway. He raised an eyebrow before leaning to the side and then back.
"Um sir, could you please stop using a dimensional door?"
I looked at the door before stepping out and looking behind it. It seemed like the back of any door. "Neat." I looked back into the hallway before closing the door. There was a click before it faded away. "Wonder what it'll do to me."
The guards looked at me a bit confused as the filly giggled and pranced around me. I touched my ears and looked at my hands but shrugged before looking at the guards. “Sooo there an issue or no?”
The captain shook his head before sitting on his haunches. “Well according to the laws, no there isn’t but you are an unknown species that appeared through a magical door. Sooo we will kinda have to ask you to come with us.”
The filly frowned as she looked between me and the guards. “Nu, you can’t take him. He’s silly and my friend.” She stood with her legs spread apart and in a fighting stance between us.
I looked down at the filly before looking at the guards and shrugged. “She is the boss here not me. I am just the wayward traveler. Though I don’t know how to get home....” Everyone blinked as the door reappeared suddenly and swung open. I looked at the guards and shrugged before closing it again. “Well that answers that. So do I have to go with you?”
“Well no but it would put a lot of citizens at ease if you did.” The captain responded as I just noticed the massive crowd gathered a ways off. It was a bit shocking to see they were more curious than anything. The buildings hinted at a more modern and industrialized area then Ponyville.
“What year is it?” I asked while looking at the various races, I noticed a few gryphons and minotaurs. A thestral or two with bedhead stalked in the shadows of a few alleys as I eyed the shadows.
“It is currently A.N. 973. Why do you ask?” The guard had a bit of a confused expression as I began walking with him.
“No reason, just forgot was all.” I responded but my mind was racing because the last thing I knew was that it was L.R. 1. “Let me say goodbye and I’ll go with you.”
The guard nodded before waving a hoof as he walked off. I knelt down to the filly smiling as I ruffled her hair. “Well this was fun and I promise to be back sometime soon. The name is Richard.”
“That’s a silly name mister. I’m Trixie!” She smiled and held up a hoof, which I bumped happily before standing up.
“I’ll see ya later.” I left with the guards and answered a lot of their questions before returning home that day.
Over the next few weeks I had made quite a name for myself in Manehattan. I had made friends with a lot of people and knew it was my kind of place because they didn’t judge me. My friendship with Trixie has grown over time and I had happily shown her and a few of the others my home and a few of the safe worlds.
“RICHARD!” I jumped as I looked towards the mare yelling in my ear before groaning.
“What Trixie?”
“Trixie is ready to return home. This place has made up for the false promise earlier today. Now take us back.” She seemed right prissy as her nose waved in the air. Though I rolled my eyes before taking us home, losing the wings as the door shut behind us.
I set Trixie in her bed before heading back through the door. It closed silently behind me as the selector reappeared. Though with how much time I spent in her past. It was almost to the point where Trixie appeared in Ponyville.
I had grown to love that place and those ponies, even going as far to date a few. It was fun while it lasted but biology didn't do me any favors in that regard. So with a bit of a heavier step I walked towards the kitchen, looking around before just making some instant chicken flavored ramen. It wasn't the best meal but it was something.
The smell of food brought out the floating from of Spike, his eyes still closed as he slept. I sighed and pushed the bowl across the table before tossing another in the microwave.
The little dragon seemed to grab the bowl and a girl before floating back into his room, the door closing behind him. I sighed as my impromptu son was weird. It had started as a sort of treatment for being used to beat at my door. I didn't think much as he had hid himself away for fear of being eaten. Eventually he did come and find me after he raided my fridge and ate all my lunch meat. That'd turned into a grounding and a good snap of my hand against my own hand. Never before would I think to see a dragon cry for someone hitting their own hand to scold themselves.
After that he sorta just lived in my house and I let him go out as long as he was back by sundown. He never went back to his own timeline or place though, said he was done being a sidekick and forgotten. I eventually talked him into going back for a bit. He got a job at the library after I sued Twilight for abusive child labor. That case was actually kinda quick even with the counter lawsuit of property damage 'I' caused. It was the Elements who trashed my lawn and made me have to fix it via proxy timed payments. It was fun to see the reaction of ponies who I just paid to fix my lawn mere moments ago. Then suddenly they appear at my front door years later.
Regardless of a son I have there was a knock coming from a door somewhere in my house. It wasn't the front simply because it wasn't loud or echoing, just a simple timid three knock set. I eyed the pantry door for a moment before it seemed to shiver and change color and shape. It opened on its own before I saw the mark on it. Beyond the threshold stood a nervous looking mare with a two tone purple and red mixed mane and tail. Her mane was wrapped up in a stylish bun with two sticks forming an X through the base of it. A set of glasses rested on her muzzle, taping holding the bridge together as she shyly looked inside before stepping through. Her sweater covered the majority of her body and almost threatened to slip down over her forehooves.
I blinked for a moment before looking towards the clock above the sink. 9:30 AM. Now that was one part of my house that seemed odd and kinda freaky. I could step through a door and then step back at the same time as when I left, or up to any amount of time I spent in the door. The first time it through me for a wild loop because I had been gone for a whole day before checking the calendar. That's why I always keep track of the date in my house.
The mare scuffed her hoof on the floor for a moment before coughing to draw my attention. Her horn glowed softly as she pulled a stack of books from her room and set them on the table. Sitting before me were no less than twenty manga volumes, all different, and all in Japanese. I raised an eyebrow before turning to look fully at the mare. "Yes Moondancer?"
"W-well I finished them all and was hoping you'd take me to get more." She was rubbing one hoof behind the other and looking at me between the gap of her glasses and her face.
I clutched my chest as I could feel the cuteness become weaponized before my very eyes. Slowly I leaned to the side before falling out of my chair with a solid thud. It made Moon squeak and start to rush over, her hooves scuffing the floor before starting to slide. She tried to stop in front of me but just slide past all the way into the hallway wall with a thud. I winced a little and peaked through the doorway at her.
She was upside down with her hooves dangling in the air and her glasses askew. After a moment she called out. "I'm okay..."
I sighed before standing up and walking over to pick her up and set her the right way. I fixed her glasses and smiled before patting her head lightly. "Silly, how many times do I have to tell you. Don't run in my house." Her ears folded back as she looked towards the floor. "Now go grab your clothes and backpack."
Her reaction made my heart seize up as she gave an adorable squee before skipping down the hallway. I held my chest for a moment before taking a deep breath before letting it out. I smiled before heading back into the kitchen, grabbing the books and taking them to the library.
Now some may wonder if the library was normal like some rooms in my house, well you'd assume wrong. The library was through a special door, a stack of books on the front. Opening the rather plain thin wooden door lead into a small foyer. I set the books on a table to the side, knowing they'd be taken and filed away. My eyes were drawn to the glass doors at the other end of the room, I eyed the books through it as one seemed to walk closer towards the door. I never went through the door for a good reason. Harry Potter stood on the other side, his entire body made out of nothing but pages covered in the words from his book. A shiver ran down my spine before I quickly walked back into my home.
Moondancer was waiting for me, standing before her favorite door. She had added a pair of socks and a skirt to her ensemble. It had taken a while to explain that my world wore clothing all the time. Socks were the hardest part to make her wear them, she kept blushing every second. Now though she took it all in stride.
The door before us was made of several bamboo reeds tied together with strands of itself. The symbol was a single red circle in the center. She seemed a bit eager so I turned the handle and ushered her through. We stepped out a doorway a bit away from the main road in Kyoto. I smiled as I walked through first, checking the area before waving her with a hand. Moondancer quickly stepped through before closing the door.
I wanna say she just turned into a normal person, but that'd be a lie. No she always performed a sort of magical girl transformation. Literally she glowed and shifted into a human shape with a dance and glitter... Gods I had been a foot too close the first time and glitter had gone everywhere. I mean EVERYWHERE. It took me a month to stop finding it in my shower. So after her explosion she stood about five foot even, but she didn't have fur, digitigrade legs, a horn, or even a tail. She was just a normal human now.
So without further ado, we went shopping. Quickly finding our favorite store as she began browsing and talking to the clerk in perfect japanese. I didn't understand a word and let them talk as I browsed the English section.
It took her an hour to find the next book in the series she read and pay for them. It was actually quite easier to pay for them then you'd expect. See my money exchanged equivalently to whatever currency of the door I went through and let me tell you a bit is worth a lot of US cha ching. The rate is like one bit to fifty US. After finding that out I had quickly gotten a job in Manehattan and started earning a good bit of bits. I wasn't rich by Equestrian standards but when you can go three weeks in my house then opened the door and find it only be the next day for your job. It's pretty nice. I have gone a few days in a row at my job before taking a month my house time off just to appear like it was the next day of work. My house is funky with time dilation but I enjoy always being when I need to be.
So after grabbing a quick lunch with Moondancer we went back to my house. She returned the clothes back to her cubby before happily going back into her room through my pantry. I smiled and waved to her before sitting down and thinking of what to do next.
I had tempted the fate of Murphy. I wasn't sure which one was worse because my front door echoed with a massive knock before repeating a few seconds later.
I checked the clock and saw it was 6:00 PM and wondered who needed me at this hour. So I wandered to the front door, noticing that red and green were flashing. I turned to the green first, opening the door to reveal Trixie standing there, she was covered head to hoof in a mixture of pie and toilet paper. I raised a brow before stepping out of the way as she ran inside crying.
I didn’t even bother looking outside as I slammed the door. I switched to the black color quickly before opening the door. Standing before me was a large red skinned man, his body mostly covered by a rather from fitting black suit. Beyond him I spied a rather voluptuousness purple woman in a white dress to match. Behind her stood a twig of a man, his arms seeming slightly longer than his legs. He was adorned in a rainbow striped zoot suit. Finally a rather large rotund man rounded out the group in a simple suspended and vest combo, the color was a bright neon green with dark yellow jacket. It took me a moment to recognize them before smiling.
“Oh hello gentleman, and lady. I’m sorry to say this but I have to postpone tonight's game. A matter has come up requiring my immediate attention.” I told them as I performed a slight bow, having forgotten that tonight was game night. Though the four seemed a bit upset, the red man most so as he growled deeply. His teeth seeming to grow and elongate as his maw became filled with jagged fangs. Horns grew from his forehead and curled backwards before bursting aflame.
“Well what is so important that you abandon us then Richard?” He asked, leering over me as he grew in height.
Before I could respond the wails of a mare filled the hallway, I knew just where they were coming from. She’d gotten the freezer open and was in the ice cream again... I simply sighed before looking towards the man. “Well Khorne I have a surrogate daughter to comfort and those who pied and toilet papered her to scold. Now if you will excuse me, I again apologize Tzeentch, Slaanesh, Nurgle, and Khorne. We shall pick up the tale of your adventures next week.” I didn’t even give them time to respond before I closed the door. I turned the knob to green before walking towards the kitchen. There’d be retribution for this.
I quickly grabbed a towel from the bathroom before walking into the kitchen. The damage was extensive, she somehow managed to go through two tubs of chocolate and one of vanilla. Her muzzle was currently halfway into a vat of strawberry when I arrived. A hand gripped my heart as I walked over and started wiping off her fur and took the tub away. The whine and eyes she gave me broke my heart as I set it aside to instead scratch behind her ears.
"Trixie why did you come through my Ponyville door?" I wiped a bit of crust and banana cream from atop her horn.
"T-T-T... I couldn't go through my doooor!" She started whining and wailing as tears seemed to spring out of her eyes and jump up into the air before arching down to land on my floor. Pony physics were weird and always managed to surprise me.
"Sssh Trixie, it will be ok." I pulled the mare into a hug as her tears seemed to arch over me as to not soak my shirt. I ran a hand along her mane as she slowly calmed down. Her wailing turning into sobbing, then finally toning it all the way down to sniffles and normal tears.
I leaned back and wiped her eyes before smiling as I rubbed my chin. "What say you and I go see Moondancer. She forgot her stack of new books again. I'm sure she'd love to see you again."
Trixie leaned into me as she wrapped her hooves around my arm and hid her head away. I remember how she'd do the same thing as a filly when she was bullied. So this situation wasn't the first time I'd comforted her.
"So do you wanna go see Moony?" I asked again with a gentle nudge of my arm.
The only response was a little nod of her head and a soft whine. "Uh huh." It was like something was knocking at my heart's door, it answered only for it to get shot for letting something like this happen.
"Do you want me to carry you or can you walk?" I could guess the answer but I didn't want to be rude or weird. She sat on her haunches and looked up at me with giant pouty eyes before holding her hooves in the air.
I smiled before scooping her up in my arms, holding her haunches and rested a hand on her back. It seemed I going to burp her like one would a baby. The position wasn't a new one to me, let alone with Trixie. Many a pony had gotten drunk off the salt in the food I served. I always found it funny. Though they weighed a lot less than what you'd think so I never got tired of it.
Softly I walked down the hall before arriving at a door with a soft glow. A bag of books resting beside it before it lifted up in a light teal glow. I grabbed the handle before twisting it.
It emerged into a library, well one would think it was one if not for sweaters, socks, and various books scattered across the floor and desk. A smile crossed my lips as I noticed Moondancer fast asleep. I set Trixie on the bed as she tried to hide her giggles as I stood over Moondancer.
I took a deep breath before letting it out in a liud bellow. "Moondancer Lancell!"
She jumped up to the ceiling, somehow clinging onto it upside down with her hooves as she screamed from the shout. Trixie and I busted out in loud peals of laughter. It took Moondancer a moment before she glared at the two off us. She quickly launched herself from the cieling with a mighty warcry at me. "Aaaaagh!"
I sidestepped her easily, but winced as I heard the squeak then thud of her first hitting another pony. Then smacking a wall behind said pony with her pasaanger. Slowly I turned around to see a pile of hooves, hair, and fabric as the pair were now conjured twins by sweater.
I snorted with laughter as they sat up, each one glaring at the other before turning their gaze on me. I let put a manly warcry as blast from their horns started firing towards me. In no way, shape, or form did I let out a girlish scream as I rushed out the door. No, I took it all like a man with grunts and caual walking. Seriously it was the manly version.
The two began giggling soon afterwards as I left them tp theor devices. It warmed my heart knowing the two got along so well. After I left the Moondancer'a home behind I walked towards a random door. It swing open easily as I thought of what to do next.
I walked right into my kitchen, looking around for a moment before deciding to grab a bottle of pop from the fridge. The crack of its seal breaking filled the empty room as I realized how to get back at those ponyville jerks. It brought an evil smile to my lips as I set thw bottle on the counter.
I easily walked to my front door before taking a deep breath then letting it go. I eyed the door before slowly switching the dial. After a moment of trepidation I pulled it inwards before stepping through, like always I left the dopr hanging wide open.
The scene before me was the aame as when I'd closed it on them before. A mob of poniea holding pies and torches stood outaide my snall fence, not a single smile or happy look among them. Althpugh the oddest bit was Lyra was hogtied and propped against my fence with an inhibutor ring.
"So anyone wanna explain why I found you pieing a mare on my lawn?" I stood with my arms crossed, waiting for a stupid answer.
They didn't disappoint as the queen of brain power gerself stepped forward. "Yes, she claimed she was your daughter. Which due to your appearance in Ponyville no less then a month after my arrival. By default makes her a liar, she also claimed that she knew you since being a filly, and the fact you aren't a horrible pony. Of course thpse all being lies the town deduced she was under some sort of mind control so we proceeded to use anti changling cream pies. Although it seems your powers are strong then even a changlings."
My brain had a bit of a 404.exe moment before rebooting as I started laughing and gawffing like a hyena. Who I had several of them as friends across the seas. Nice dogs, just stereotyped horribly. I heled my stomach as I almost fell to the grpund, using the doorframe to keep myself upright. The mob seemed a bit confused as they saw me laughing. Even Twilight seemd to loss some of her bravado as she watched me.
Finally I calmed down, still wheezing a bit as I stood up and wiped the tear from my eye. "Oh now that was funny. I can see why ponies are great comedians." I stepped forward as I stood above the mob, looking down at them before slowly hardening my eyes into a glare. "To counter your points. My house travels through time so I actually did know Trixie since she was little, and even dated her mom for a bit. Heck I even tried making a herd with a few mares but we all agreed after the kids they had grew up we'd try again. Just need to go find em and start it. So those are the first two lies you covered. Also I'm not a pony so I can't be a good or horrible pony. So you claiming I am a horrible pony is just being speciest."
The crowd seemed a little mulled by this news but Princess of Friendship Sparkle wasn't having it. She slammed a hoof down as the other pointed towards me. "Ah ha! I knew you were evil. Time travel is illegal and banned in Equstria! This just proves my theory of you being a monster all along right!" She started to do her little dance whenever she got something right. That kind of riled me up with how smug she was acting.
I raised up my hand, pressing my thumb to the middle finger before letting it slide off with a loud snap. There was a crack of thunder as my door slammed shut. Now I'd shut my door to see what I was before and it scared me the first time. I even got letters from Celestia and Luna offering their undying surrender if I so chose to turn evil. Chrysalis even had appeared groveling before me to spare her. I needed to shoo her away with a broom before she left.
Now most would think, 'He's an overpowered god or something.' They'd be wrong for I jow stood only three feet tall, bushy white beard had grown on my face, while a red hat with white fur trim appeared on my head.
The crowd watched in horror are I strode forward, eyes licked on Twilight before easily grabbing her by the tail. She found herself sitting down with me standing before her. "Twilight Sparkle. You've done it now, you now face not a gnelf, not a gnoblin, but a gah gnome!" Color seemed to fade from her as she turned white as a sheet at the sight of me in my jeans, suspenders, and a flannel shirt.