I Think My Calendar's Broken
Twilight Sparkle woke up, feeling refreshed and ready to start her day off right. Until she realized that she was on the ceiling, at least.
"What the-?!" Before Twilight could even finish her sentence, gravity suddenly took effect and she fell onto her bed, bouncing off her mattress and into a wall. "Ow!"
Twilight simply shrugged that off and flew down the hallways of her palace, landing just outside of the kitchen. When she opened the door, half of everything was on fire. The salt and pepper shakers had grown wings and were now harassing Owlowiscious with a barrage of spices. As Twilight slowly backed out from the lost cause of a kitchen she now had, she saw Spike running away, kitchen utensils gripped firmly in his claws.
"What is going on?!" Twilight shouted.
"You're asking me?!" Spike backed out of the kitchen, fending off a stack of haycakes bouncing towards him threateningly with the frying pan and spatula he held in his claws. Twilight blasted the stack into syrupy chunks of breakfast that flew around the castle. Spike caught one of the miniature breakfasts in his mouth and began to chew. "Whew! Thanks Twilight!"
"Spike, what day is it today?" Twilight asked.
"Hold on, let me check the calendar." Spike ran across the hallway to the calendar, barely managing to deflect an attack by a swarm of pillows flying around the castle like bats. "It's March 32nd, why?" he said.
Twilight looked out the window at a herd of pigs flying by. "That would certainly explain a lot of things." Suddenly, they both heard a knock at the front door. "Coming!" Twilight teleported in front of the door and held it open, coming face to face with Rainbow Dash, who had a concerned look on her face.
"Um, Twilight, do you know what the heck is going on?! I haven't seen Pinkie Pie all day today, and just now, these clouds started attacking us." As Rainbow Dash spoke, Twilight saw multiple pegasi behind her screaming as they struggled in vain against a ravenous horde of fluffy clouds.
"Well that's certainly what I'd like to find out. And I think I know who may be responsible for this." Twilight spread her wings and took off, leaving Spike and Rainbow Dash to fend for themselves against the armies of clouds and breakfast foods.
Twilight pounded on Discord's door violently. Discord opened the door, looking to each side. "Hello?" He then turned his glance downwards to find a furious purple alicorn glowering up at him. "Why, if it isn't Twilight Sparkle! How have you been?"
"Care to explain this?" Twilight shoved her calendar in front of Discord's face.
"Well, let's take a look, shall we?" Discord took her calendar and donned a pair of bifocals as he began to look through it. "Ah, here's your problem! It says today is the 32nd of March, but there's only 31 days in March! Ha! Classic!"
Twilight flew up to meet his eye level, now brimming with anger. "What did you do?!" she growled.
"Me?" Discord pointed to himself in indignation. "I didn't do anything! Not even I can change the amount of days in a month. Although I've got to hand it to the pony who did. That's good stuff!"
"If you didn't do this, then who did?" Twilight said.
"The answer to that may lie in a little magic artifact." Discord snapped his fingers, and a massive calendar as tall as Twilight and almost as long appeared, floating in front of him while glowing with power. "Behold, the One True Calendar! It's the thing that tells months what they are, and the year how many days it has. It has some serious temporal power."
"The One True Calendar?" Twilight said, as if doubting its existence.
"Oh, admit it, you've seen weirder artifacts," Discord said. "It's kept in the royal vault at Canterlot, so if somepony's messing with it, I'd suggest checking there first."
"Wow, thank you!" Twilight said.
"You're very welcome! Ta-ta!" Discord closed his door as Twilight flew back into the roaring, swirling void that was his home dimension, trying to find where she had left her portal.
Twilight climbed down the musty old staircase into Celestia's Vault of Treasures, the part of her castle where she kept all of the magical artifacts she found in order to keep them out of the wrong people's hooves. After she reached the bottom of the staircase, Twilight saw a multitude of bizarre items on display, labelled with such names as the Matrix of Leadership and the Stapler of Infinite Dimensions. As she delved deeper into the dungeon, the lights on the torches along the wall began to grow dimmer, and eventually, she saw a faint silhouette of a pony hunched over something in the darkness.
"Aha! You're not getting away with this-" As Twilight shone a light into the vault with her horn, she saw the last pony she expected to see in a guarded collection of magical artifacts. "Pinkie Pie?!"
"Oh, hey there Twilight! Have you heard of this calendar I've got here? It's amazing!" Pinkie turned back to the colossal calendar she held.
"Pinkie, that's a dangerous artifact!" Twilight snatched the calendar away from Pinkie's hooves. "What were you even doing with this anyway?"
"Well, I noticed April 1st coming up soon, and I was not prepared for it. So-" Suddenly, the world began to shake violently, and numerous portals opened up in the ground. Twilight tried to keep herself and Pinkie afloat amidst the ever-shrinking amount of ground, but eventually they both fell into the yawning chasm the portals had collectively made..
Twilight and Pinkie awoke on a floating island in the middle of nowhere. The sky was pitch black with glowing clouds of blue here and there.
"Where are we?!" Twilight frantically looked for a way out of this nightmarish landscape, but found nothing. Suddenly, the world began to shake again, and storm clouds brimming with lightning rose from the void, coalescing into the form of a giant pony, who towered over Twilight and Pinkie, speaking with a booming voice.
"I am Chronos! Patron of time and space! Who disturbs the stability of-" Suddenly, the swirling storm clouds dissipated, leaving behind a bespectacled brown earth pony in their place. "Aw man, my special effects budget ran out! Anyways, who's been messing with my calendar?!" he said.
"It's yours?!" Pinkie said.
"Uhh, yeah! I've been looking for that for hundreds of years! Could I have it back please?!" Chronos said.
Pinkie hastily discarded the calendar with a sheepish grin on her face as Twilight glared daggers at her. "Oops! Sorry!"
"Just give me that." The calendar floated to Chronos' side silently, without even a magical aura. Chronos narrowed his eyes and sighed in disappointment. "Really? You added more days to the end of March?!"
"I-I didn't think it would be that big of a deal, Mr. Chronos sir," Pinkie explained.
"I could understand that logic if it was just one day. But you just kept adding days!" Chronos shouted. "Now March goes on until the 51st! Every month has the precise amount of days it has for a good reason!"
"But what about leap years?" Twilight asked.
"We don't talk about leap years!" Chronos snapped. "Just get out of here! Go eat teacups or whatever you mortal ponies do for leisure these days." Suddenly, Twilight and Pinkie found themselves back in the vault, sans the One True Calendar.
"Pinkie..." Twilight growled.
Pinkie laughed nervously. "Should I run? I feel like I should run..."
Author's Note
I'm sorry about this, but the idea of months having more days than they should just popped into my head, and I had to write a story about it. I swear my next one will be better. 