Coltcuddler

by HorseStories

Rating: mature
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Death, Sad, Original Character, Suicide / Self Harm, Tragedy, Profanity, Violence, Narcotics
Length: 6789

A colt on the run discovers a different side of life.

My name is Dream Chaser. I'm a pegasus. I live in Canterlot with my dad and brother. I'm a senior Colt Guide. I'm... I'm a coltcuddler.

Nopony else knows. I'm too scared to tell my dad. I don't have a mom, or any friends. I guess I should probably just get used to that.

So I wanted to write it down in this diary. Just to tell someone, just to have it out there. I'm not sick, or unhappy, like they make us look. I don't need to be cured. I'm me.

This isn't a happy story. You have been warned.

This story is set in the same universe as Just a Phase, which is recommended reading. However, the plot can be understood independently of it.

Published 2020-01-17 02:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2020-01-17 02:10:02 UTC

Hemostasis

Dream Chaser couldn't move. His legs were screaming at him to run, his hooves screaming at him to fight back, but he just couldn't.

Before him, his father paced back and forth, occasionally stopping to buck against the wall, or smash one of the framed comic books he had on his walls. Dream Chaser had seen his father get angry before, but never anything like this. His hair was frazzled, his mouth was drooling, and his eyes seemed to glow red. At his feet laid the torn remnants of his diary.

'So is this it, son?' His father eyed him up, abruptly stopping his pacing. Dream Chaser back up further as his father approached, finding his back pushed up against the wall. 'Hm? Is this you? A Celestia-damned queer for a son? You make me fuckin' sick.'

Dream Chaser looked down at his hooves. 'I'm sorry, dad. I just-'

'SHUT UP!' His father snarled and pushed Dream Chaser back into the wall. His voice was no longer quietly dangerous, but loud and unhinged, cracking every few words. 'I ought to knock some sense into you. I should have done it years ago.'

A few moments passed in silence. Then, a third, much quieter voice cut into it. 'Daddy?'

A small colt poked his head through the doorframe, his eyes wide and terrified. Dream Chaser's father turned around, his face softening as he did so. 'Everything's fine, Whisper. Go back to your room.'

'Daddy, why are you shouting?'

'I said go back to your room.'. There was a quiet danger in his voice, one Whisper new well. In a second, he had vanished, and the two of them were alone once more.

'Get out of my house.'

Dream Chaser's eyes widened. 'D-dad, please-'

'Don't make me throw you out on your flank, boy.'

Tears began to well in the corner of Dream Chaser's eyes. 'Where am I supposed to go?'

For the most fleeting of moments, a twinge of pain seemed to cross his father's face, before it hardened once more. 'I don't know. I don't care. I will not have you under this roof. I will not allow you to corrupt your brother with your sickness, you hear me?'

Dream Chaser said nothing. His father gave a sigh. 'I tried my best with you. Your mother - she'd be ashamed of you. Of me. I want you out by midnight, or so help me Celestia, I will throw you out myself. Pack and go.'

As the door slammed, Dream Chaser was sure he could make out an audible sob.

Dream Chaser wasn't sure if his father would make good on his promise, but he wasn't willing to find out. Filling his old leather saddlebags with what little he valued - a small sack of bits, a small watch his uncle had given him, and his Colt Guide map of Equestria - he slipped downstairs.

His father was standing in the kitchen. He watched Dream Chaser come down the stairs, a weary look on his face. He opened his mouth for a split second, then closed it, turning away silently. Dream Chaser felt the tears return. Never before had he felt so lost. 'Daddy, please don't-'

His father turned around, eyes burning with genuine hatred and anger. When Dream Chaser didn't move, he seized a nearby mug and flung it at him.

The mug flew over Dream Chaser's head and shattered against the wall. A small shard flew off and sliced deep into his forehead, leaving a long cut from which blood freely poured into his eyes. Dream Chaser stumbled, falling to one knee in shock. His father gave a bullish roar, and charged across the room. seizing his son in a vice-like grip.

Dream Chaser could barely resist as he was bodily dragged through the hallway, his wings being repeatedly bent out of shape by the rough handling his father gave him. He heard the sound of the front door being wrenched open, before the breath was knocked out of him by the feeling of a hoof striking him in the stomach with enough force to send his tumbling out of the front door.

He landed to excruciating pain and the sickening sound of his wings breaking in multiple places. As he stumbled to his hooves, blinded by blood and pain, he heard the sound of a door slamming.

Frantically wiping the blood out of his eyes, Dream Chaser spun around. His street was deserted, as usual. He attempted to close his wings, stopping immediately at the sharp pain that ensued. He needed to see a doctor. How was he going to explain this? Maybe he could lie and say he got beat up. St Belle's treated loads of homeless ponies. He probably wouldn't even register on their radar.

Wiping more blood out of his eyes, he took the first agonizing step towards St Belle's Hospital.

Dream Chaser hated walking around Central Canterlot at night. You could barely walk down the road without someone trying to sell you drugs, or porn, or stick you up. This time, coated as he was in blood and filth, he found ponies gave him a wide berth - which suited him just fine.

The guard had been increased recently. The Summer Sun Celebration was coming up, so they had been dispatched to clean up the city for the inevitable flood of tourists. This usually meant beating any unsavoury characters into a coma. As Dream Chaser watched, two stallions clad in armour seized a unkempt looking pony and dragged him into an alleyway.

Did Celestria know about things like this? She had been so kind when he had met her for his Senior Colt Guide award ceremony. Dream Chaser chastised himself. Of course Celestia knew. She was as big a fucking hypocrite as the rest of them.

Dream Chaser had been so caught up in his own thoughts, he didn't see the guard in front of him until it was too late, and walked straight into him. Backing up, the guard turned around and advanced on him.

'Why don't you watch where you're fucking going?'

'I-I didn't see... I'm sorry.'

The guard eyed him up. 'Shit. What happened to you?'

'I was in a... uh, an accident. Chariot collision. I was just going to St Belle's.'

The guard smirked at the feeble attempt at a lie. 'Oh, really. Well, you match the description of somepony we're looking for. I'm going to have to search you.'

Dream Chaser blinked. 'Uh... okay?'

Dropping his saddlebags on the ground, he stepped back to allow the guard to examine his saddlebags. The guard seized the bag and turned it upside down, shaking it violently and allowing his worldly possessions to fall out. Throwing the bag to one side, he seized the bag of bits triumphantly and stuffed it into his breastplate. 'You're free to go.'

Dream Chaser's jaw dropped. 'Are you fucking serious?'

The guard advanced on him, not stopping until his face was mere inches away. 'Yeah. What the fuck are you gonna do about it?'

Shaking with anger, Dream Chaser looked away. The guard gave a sadistic grin. 'That's right. Now move along before you get hurt. More.'

Turning, the guard noticed Dream Chaser's watch lying on the floor. 'Oh, hello.' He stooped to scoop it up off the floor, weighing it up in his hoof. 'I'll take this as an apology for your bullshit.'

Dream Chaser felt his blood boil at the sight of his uncle's watch in somepony else's hooves. 'Give that back.'

The guard turned around. 'Don't make that mistake, boy.'

Dream Chaser lurched forwards. If he could just grab the watch and run, he'd count it as a victory. Before he even reached the guard, a bolt of light flashed towards him, knocking him to the side effortlessly. Slamming into a nearby wall, Dream Chaser's vision flashed white and he felt the strength drain out of him. Somewhere nearby, he could hear several stallions laughing harshly.

He braced himself for a barrage of kicks, but nothing came. As his vision slowly returned, he found himself mercifully alone. Scrabbling to his hooves for the second time that night, he spat out a mouthful of blood and frantically looked around. A few ponies were giving him odd stares, but for the most part, they ignored him. His belongings were nowhere to be found.

Inflammation

St Belle's was relatively quiet when he arrived. The staff mercifully asked few questions, and treated his wounds to the best of their ability. His wings were washed and bandaged, and his forehead was sutured.

Day had already broken when he found himself back outside, the street around him glowing in the light of the new sun. Leaning against a nearby apple cart, he pondered his next move. The shock of being made homeless either wasn't as bad as he'd anticipated, or it hadn't hit him yet.

He could, of course, go back home. Maybe... try to get his father to see reason? They were family, after all. No matter what, you were always meant to have family.

Then again, he had never seen anypony as angry as his father had been last night. As his hoof traced the stitches in his forehead, Dream Chaser knew he couldn't go home. At least, not tonight.

A shelter? Canterlot had built a series of homeless shelters across the entire city, and an unaccompanied underage colt was almost certain to get a place. On the other hand, he'd have to explain why he was homeless in the first place. He'd never been a good liar.

As engrossed as he was in thought, Dream Chaser didn't notice the figure behind him approaching until he felt a hoof land on his shoulder. Startled, he jumped back and twisted around, noticing as he did so that the hoof didn't feel like a hoof at all.

'What the-'

In front of him stood a shaggy-looking griffon, his charcoal black feathers ruffled and dulled, boring into him with his bright orange eyes. Dream Chaser had never been so close to a griffon before, and couldn't help but be amazed.

'You look lost, kid.' Dream Chaser felt his hackles rise as he slowly backed away. The griffon noticed, and gave him a smile, unexpectedly warm and welcoming. 'Don't take it the wrong way, but that's not a good look to have.'

He stuck out a claw. 'Gregor.' Dream Chaser stared at him, and the griffon raised an eyebrow. 'You're meant to shake it.'

Hesitantly, Dream Chaser reached forward and shook the griffon's claw. It was hard and scaled, and he could feel Gregor's razor-sharp claws dig into his skin. 'So, what's your story?'

Dream Chaser was silent. Gregor raised an eyebrow. 'Look, If I was going to rob you, I wouldn't have introduced myself first.'

That was fair enough, Dream Chaser supposed. And he wasn't exactly in a position to be choosy about friends. Besides, what else did he have to lose?

'I... sort of... fell out with my dad.' Dream Chaser wasn't sure where he was going with this story. 'I'm just... kind of at a loss. Don't know where to go.'

'Oh, really?' Gregor gave a low whistle. 'That sucks. You got anywhere to stay overnight? There's not a lot of room left in the East Shelter.' He looked Dream Chaser over once more, like an antiquer appraising a new find. 'Listen, me and a few friends have a pretty nice setup going for us in the south.'

Dream Chaser looked up. 'Really?'

'Yeah. Bunch of old flats, falling apart. Nobody gives two shits about them, or us. If you like, you can stay with us. At least till your old man calms down.'

Gregor sounded sincere, but Dream Chaser still had his suspicions. 'Why are you helping me? We don't know each other. We're not even the same species.'

Gregor waved his claw dismissively. 'That doesn't matter. I know where you're at. I know what it's like. It sucks. Please, do yourself a solid and accept help when you're offered it.'

Dream Chaser swallowed. 'Sure.'

Gregor didn't bother knocking, simply kicking the door in with an almighty kick. 'Listen up!'

Two other griffons and a Earth stallion were sat inside the room. They barely looked up from what they were doing.

'This kid's staying with us for a bit. Name's Dream Chaser. Play nice.' Gregor pushed Dream Chaser into the room with his wing. 'They're not so bad, kid, but don't be stupid. All right?' With that, he turned back to the rest of them. 'All right, daddy's gonna go and get some groceries. Anything you boys want?'

One of the griffons, green-feathered with a seemingly perpetual twitch, shot his hand up into the air. 'I n-n-need more thyroxine. Pl-please, Greg! For old t-t-t-time's sake?'

Gregor spat on the floor, apparently disgusted. 'For Celestia's sake, Grubs. Fine. I hope this batch fucking kills you. Any other requests?' Silence. 'Good.'

With that, he strode out, slamming the door behind him. Cautiously, Dream Chaser approached the trio. As he got closer, he could clearly see they were in a bad shape. Grubs could barely sit still, and his arms were covered in obvious needle marks. His hind legs were equally marked, covered in scars and chunks of missing flesh. Had he done that to himself?

'Hey.' The Earth stallion gave him a warm smile, and gestured to an empty pillow on the floor. He looked remarkably normal, except...

'Noticed, did you?' He smiled sadly, gazing down at his blank flank. 'Guess we got that in common. Late bloomers.'

The other griffon looked up from tending to what appeared to be fresh marks on Grub's hind. 'Nice to meet you.' Though raspy and coarse, the voice was unmistakable female. That was fortunate, because nothing else about her would have been telling.

He hadn't noticed from a distance, but she had been... plucked. Her body was missing the usual sheen of bright feathers griffons were so well known for, instead covered in hideous pockmarks and scars. She too possesessed the same tremor Grubs did, though it was less pronounced. Most grotesquely of all, her right eye had been ripped out. Ripped. Most of the flesh around her eye socket was destroyed. His surprise must have shown, because her eye suddenly narrowed. 'Take a picture, why don't you?'

Dream Chaser immediately looked to the floor. 'I'm sorry.'

She sighed. 'Don't worry about it. There's a reason I stay indoors. I'm Gretel. That big, stupid-looking motherfucker over there is Oak.' She turned back to Grubs, who had begun to mew, either from pain or withdrawal. 'Shhh, relax, baby. Gregor's gonna get it. He always does.'

Dream Chaser felt something tap him on the back. Turning around, he saw Oak with his hoof outstretched, holding a bottle of spirit. 'Want some?'

Dream Chaser's eyes darted back to Grubs. 'No thanks.'

Oak laughed, a deep, booming laugh that filled the room. 'Trust me, you'll change your tune when it gets dark. The cold bites deep in here. Only way to keep it out is this, or whatever Gregor comes back with.'

For a few minutes, they sat in silence, punctured only by the occasion whine from Grubs, or the clinking of Oak's bottle.

'Hey, kid.'

Gretel snapped her talons together, causing Dream Chaser to snap out of his stupor. 'Pass me that bag, would you?'

She jerked her claw in the direction of a beat-up old green bag, with an unmistakable white cross on it, a faded "FIRST AID" emblazoned underneath it. Jumping to his hooves, Dream Chaser grasped the bag in his mouth and hurried over to her.

Gretel snatched it out of his jaw and pulled it open. She rummaged around for a few seconds, before grunting in frustration and dumping the entire contents onto the floor. An assorted collection of needles, pills, cotton buds, bottles and plasters fell out.

Gretel sifted through the pile and pulled out a role of thick tape. 'I need your help with something.'

'Me?' Dream Chaser froze. He had done some first aid with the colt guides, but...

'Don't look so petrified. I just need you to hold him down while I tape his beak. He's gonna start biting himself if I don't. Can you do that for me?'

'I-I don't-' Dream Chaser looked down at Grubs. He was weak, sure, but easily weighed three times what he did, and those claws looked sharp.

'Oh, for - just fucking do it! I'm not letting him hurt himself more because you decided to wuss out.' Gretel snapped, tearing off a strip of tape in her beak. 'Come on!'

Dream Chaser approached Grubs cautiously, resting his hooves on his chest. He could feel Grub's hulking muscles underneath his hooves. 'Good.'

Gretel gripped Grubs by the forehead, and began to wrap the tape around his beak. Sweat began to pour off Dream Chaser's forehead as he felt Grubs stir. He was going to die, he was going to be blinded, why had he-

'Done.' Gretel stood up.

Dream Chaser hopped off Grub's chest, wiping what felt like a gallon of sweat of his brow. 'Good job, kid.'

Gretel gave him a smile, and her face was suddenly transformed. Dream Chaser could see she was relieved. 'No... no problem.' He wasn't sure what else to say. 'You have to do stuff like that a lot?'

Gretel's smile slipped slightly. 'Yeah. He gets like this a lot. It's a shame you're not here when he's more... sober. I'll make sure he knows you helped me out, though. He's really a great guy.' She slapped a claw on Dream Chaser's back. 'Anyway. Thanks for that. Not many stallions would volunteer to restrain a griffon, let alone a colt. You got some balls.' She sneered at Oak. 'Unlike some of us.'

Oak took another swig from the bottle. 'Why don't you tell the kid how you lost your eye? He might think twice about helping that animal if-'

'You shut your fucking mouth!' Dream Chaser had no ideas griffons could flush red. 'How about I tell him-'

Oak looked up from his bottle, and the burning look in his face was sufficient to silence Gretel immediately. She opened her beak, then closed it again, and turned around to tend to more of Grub's injuries.

Dream Chaser returned to his seat. Oak offered him the bottle once more. He shook his head, and Oak merely shrugged.

'So...' He was feeling a little more confident now. 'What do you... do?'

'Survive.' Oak drained the last of his bottle, before chucking it over his shoulder. 'Gregor keeps us hooked up, as long as we pay up. Lets us stay rent free, so long as we buy regularly. So, you might want to reconsider your objections to that stuff.'

'Buy? You guys have jobs?'

Oak snorted. 'Does Grubs look like he's in any position to work? I got some money. Gretel works, don't you, sweetie?'

Gretel looked up from Grubs and shot him a nasty look. 'Go fuck yourself.'

Oak continued. 'This isn't permanent. I just want to kill a few weeks, do whatever the fuck I want, then move on. I'm not gonna end up like those two fu-'

The sound of the door being kicked in again interrupted Oak's monologue. Gregor burst in, chucking a black plastic bag onto the floor. He looked furious. 'Fuck!'

'What's wrong?' Oak sounded bored.

'The fucking guard! They - Fuck!.' Gregor slammed the door again with such force Dream Chaser could swear he heard the walls shake. 'No more freebies, Grubs! You hear me?!'

Grubs ignored him, pushing past Gretel to get his claws on the bag. He tore it open and began scrabbling at the tablets that fell out. Gretel picked herself up, and went over to help him.

Gregor sneered at the pair of them, and sat down on a nearby sofa opposite Dream Chaser. Producing another bag, he rummaged around inside and pulled out three bottles of a clear spirit. 'Here, kid. On the house.'

Dream Chaser somehow caught the bottle that was flung his way. He opened his mouth, but was able to catch the sight of Oak shaking his head warningly. Gregor leaned in, a nasty look on his face. 'What? Not good enough for you, your fucking highness?'

Dream Chaser swallowed. 'No. I- Thanks.'

'You're welcome. Drink up.' There was a silent threat to his voice.

Dream Chaser nodded, and raised the bottle to his lips. He took a swig, and felt the liquid burn the insides of his throat, causing him to cough and splutter, nearly dropping the bottle as he did so. Somewhere in the background, he could hear Gregor shrieking with laughter.

'Did you see that shit!? Oh, wow! Kid, you are something else.'

'Real funny, Gregor.' Oak muttered. Gregor's grin vanished.

'Whatever'. Wrenching open his own bottle, he took a deep chug, apparently with ease. 'Next one's twenty bits. Now, are we gonna sit around, or are we gonna get fucking drunk!?'

Proliferation

Dream Chaser couldn't think straight. He stumbled over his words, and could barely stand upright. Gregor, too, was clearly feeling the effects of the spirits, whatever they were. Oak, on the other hand, seemed fine.

His anxiety from before was gone. The alcohol had set in, enjoining him with a wonderful sensation of security and calm. Grubs and Gretel had joined them again, and together they had sat in silence for the past twenty minutes, staring into each others eyes. They looked like lovers, lost in close embrace, but Dream Chaser knew they were high on much more than each other.

Gregor leaned in once more. For a moment, Dream Chaser expected him to vomit, but instead, he spoke, with surprising clarity to his voice. 'All right, kid. Enough fuckin' me around. Why did your dad really give you the hoof? You steal from him?'

Dream Chaser was drunk, but he wasn't recklessly drunk. He quickly shook his head, which seemed to annoy Gregor.

'Come on, you can tell - hic - you can tell me. I swear. You know, when I was your...' He leaned in, shook, and vomited onto the floor. Oak shifted slightly to avoid the puddle. Gregor wiped his mouth, then continued. 'When I was your age? I fu- I fuck - I killed my brother.' He leant backwards, claws raised. 'Used to beat my mom. So I killed him. Ripped his throat out with my own claws. Now? I'm lying low in this crappy city until the heat dies down.'

Dream Chaser's eyes widened. Behind him, Oak chuckled. 'You always say that. Make yourself sound tough. I say you got done for insurance fraud.'

Gregor shrugged. 'Believe what you want. My point is, nothing you say is gonna shock me.'

Dream Chaser hesitated. 'Nothing?'

Gregor shook his head solemnly. 'Nothing.'

Dream Chaser wasn't sure what it was. Maybe it was the booze. The look on Gregor's face. Maybe it was just the right combination of things. But he knew he could confide in them.

'I'm... a coltcuddler. My dad found out. So he threw me out.'

Gregor nodded solemnly. 'Gotta say, I wasn't expecting that. That's... shit.' He sighed. 'I don't know. My species, we, uh, we don't really tolerate stuff like that. But I guess I'm not one to judge. I mean, shit, I'm a fucking drug addict and a criminal.'

Oak followed up. 'He's right. Not much room here for judgement.'

Gregor rubbed his claws together. 'Ah, shit. So fucking awkward.' Reaching for his bottle, he raised it to his beak, only to find it empty. 'Fuck.' Rummaging around the sofa. he quickly produced a small leather bag. Spilling it's contents onto the floor, Dream Chaser saw it contained a series of small, white pills, each stamped with a "R".

Gregor pushed two pills his direction. 'You in?'

Dream Chaser held his bottle up to his muzzle. Like Gregor's, it too was empty. 'Sure'.

Dream Chaser wasn't sure how long he had been out. He could hear birds chirping outside.

Those pills had shown him things. Terrifying things. Beautiful things. He stumbled to his hooves, breathing heavily. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest, harder and faster than ever before. Around him, the others laid unconscious.

A stirring behind him startled him, causing him to spin around on the spot. Gregor had woken up, and was hazily blinking at him. 'You're alive. That's good.'

Dream Chaser decided to disregard that statement. 'I, uh... yeah.'

Gregor grinned at him. 'Powerful shit, isn't it?'

Dream Chaser nodded, the beating in his heart seeming to, impossibly, accelerate. 'Where can I get more?'

Gregor jerked his claw in the direction of Oak's unconscious body. 'He's got a stash. He's not gonna give them away. Might have to work out a deal.' Stretching his wings, Gregor nodded at him. 'I have to run an, uh, "errand". I'll see you in a few.'

With that, he took off.

Dream Chaser sat down on the empty couch. He didn't need more. He didn't need more. He didn't need...

'I need...'

Oak was woken by a gentle, yet urgent shaking. Opening his eyes, he was able to make out the shape of the kid from last night. 'What the-'

'Please... just.. one...'

Oak rose to full height, looking down at the colt, wide eyed and hopping from hoof to hoof. 'What do you need?'

'P-pill.'

Oh...

Oak was surprised. He had expected it to take a few attempts before the kid got hooked. Gregor had said otherwise, but anyone with half a brain knew better than to believe anything that flying rat said. Still, true to his word, one pill and the kid's brain was fried.

'Well... I could give you one... But I'd need something in return.'

Dream Chaser nodded. 'Ok. What?'

'Your dad's house. Got anything valuable in it?'

Dream Catcher's face fell. For the most fleeting of moments, he looked conflicted. But then the itch kicked in again. 'Lots. A-a-a lot of bits. Hundreds. Under his bed in a chest. My mom's old diamond necklace. Just.. please.'

Oak held up a hoof. 'Slow down. All right. You tell me where they are, how I can get hold of them. Then I'll give you one. All right?'

Dream Chaser nodded. For the next twenty minutes, he answered every question diligently. Finally, Oak looked up. 'All right, that should be enough.'

Turning to rummage around in his stash, he produced a leather bag, identical to the one Gregor had last night. 'Here. Take two. Don't take any more. Seriously.' He threw the bag at the kid's hooves. 'See you around.'

With that, he was gone. Dream Chaser was once again alone, with only the slumbering bodies of Gretel and Grubs for company.

Scar Tissue

F
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I'm floating

I can't feel anything. It's nice. I don't feel bad. I don't feel happy. I feel nothing.

It's not fair.

It never is.

I didn't want this. I wanted to stay at home. It's my fault.

Don't say that.

But it's true.

There are voices...

It'll be all right.

You're going to die like this. A junkie. A loser. Your dad was right about you. You ruin everything.

Don't pay any attention to him.

But he's right. I did ruin everything. I really am sick.

No you aren't.

Are you going to listen to them? They don't care about you. Nopony does. Not your dad. Not Gregor. NOPONY DOES!

You're strong. YouKILLYOURSELFKILLYOURSELFKILLYOURSELFKILLYOURcan make it through this. I believe in you.

I just want to be happy. I want it to all go away.

You can be happy. You can smile again. You can laugh again

There is no end to your suffering.

Remember. I love you.

'Chase? Fuck, please, please...'

Dream Chaser's eyes flickered. It was bright.

'Come on, Chase, don't die on me. Fuck! Just... please, I know I fucked up. I'm sorry!'

You see? Gregor cares. He wants to save you.

He just doesn't want to have to move your corpse. He'll dump you in the garbThat's. Not. True.age and never think about you again

He does... care. Doesn't he?

Of course.

Fuck no. He killed Grubs and Gretel. They were asleep. They were sleeping! And he let that Griffon Knight murder them in cold blood!

He did...

He isn't perfect. But he can change.

Ponies don't change.

And you can help him.

I... can?

They're lying.

You can change him. He's in pain... so much pain. HeHEWILLMURDERYOUANDEVERYONEYOULOVEcan save you. You can save him.

I can?

You can.

SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP

Do you trust me?

...

I do.

Then go with my blessing, Friend.

Dream Chaser lurched forwards. Gregor fell onto his back, before quickly bounding back. 'Oh, thank fuck!' He lurched forwards, drawing him into a tight embrace.

'Thank you...' He wept. 'Thank... you...'

Dream Chaser didn't hug back. He couldn't. Did I make the right choice?

'Gregor?'

'You really freaked me out. I was worried... I didn't want to lose anyone else today.'

'Gregor...' The sight of the normally tough, resilient griffon sobbing into his coat was more bizarre than it was heartwarming. 'I... I can't do this anymore.'

Gregor released him. Dream Chaser had expected an argument, but Gregor just nodded. 'Yeah. I get that. Just... go. Oh, wait...' He pulled a bag off his belt, and pressed it into Dream Chaser's hooves. 'Here, it's... just take it. You... you'll spend it better than I will.' Gregor looked like he was on the verge of a complete breakdown.

Dream Chaser weighed the bit purse in his hoof. There was a lot of bits in it. 'Thank you. Seriously.'

Gregor waved his claw. 'Don't... don't worry about it.' He breathed out, as if relieved of a great burden. 'I need to get out of this city.'

Dream Chaser nodded. 'I get it. Where... where will you go?'

Gregor shrugged. 'Back to the Kingdom? Maybe. I don't know. I'll wander for a bit. I just...' He rubbed his face. 'I can't have any more blood on my claws.' He glanced at him. 'You?'

Dream Chaser nodded. 'I got an idea.'

There was only one light on in the house, in the kitchen. The entrance showed clear signs of having been kicked in. Dream Chaser took a deep breath, and knocked on the door.

'Coming!'

The stallion inside sounded grumpy. The door was wrenched open, spilling light into the street. 'Do you know what time it - Fuck!'

Dream Chaser held his father's gaze. 'Hey dad.'

His father's face twisted into a visage of rage. 'I told you never to come back.'

Dream Chaser shook his head. 'I know. I'm not here for that.'

He reached inside his saddlebags. Pulling out this purse Gregor had given him, he threw it to the floor, where it landed with a loud thud. 'Here.'

His father's eyes narrowed. 'What?'

'That's 6,983 bits. It's yours. I don't want it.' Dream Chaser gave the bag a push towards his father. 'I owe you that much.'

Silence. Eventually, his father spoke. 'I don't rent out to que-'

'It's not rent.''. Dream Chaser snarled. 'It's free. I wouldn't want to stay here if you paid me.'

'What?!'

'You heard me. You know what a dad does? He loves his son.' Dream Chaser had to keep his voice under tight control, to stop himself from shouting. 'A dad loves his son. No. Matter. What. So, as far as I'm concerned, you're not my dad. You're just some fucking bully. I never want to fucking see you again.'

He couldn't stop his voice from shaking at that last part. Turning around, he ran.

He ran until he couldn't run anymore. Eventually, he stopped. He didn't know where he was. He didn't care. He was injured, starving, dehydrated, lost. He was in pain, more than ever, and more than anything.

He had never been more alive.

Maturation

It had been exactly two weeks, three days since Dream Chaser had left home.

Dream Chaser hadn't been keeping count, of course. He hadn't been able to. But when he awoke to the sound of raucous festivities outside, he knew exactly what day it was. The Summer Sun Celebration. He used to count the days until the celebration. That was before he found more important things in life.

He slowly picked himself up, and staggered over to an open window. Outside, he could see the festival procession flooding through the streets. Burning floats passed by, Celestia's likeness illuminated in flames.

Dream Chaser closed the window, and stumbled back to the group. Grubs was awake, and was methodically cleaning a large wound in his thigh. 'Hey, Chase. What's going on out there? Riot?'

'Summer Sun celebration.' Dream Chaser sat down, bored. 'Everypony out in force to worship the dictator.'

Grubs chuckled. 'Figures. Gregor was looking pretty pleased this morning. He's probably busy snatching coin bags right now.' He cursed, pulling out a few of his feathers.

Dream Chaser stared at the gash. 'That looks seriously fucked up, Grubs. I can take you to a hospital.'

'No hospital.' Grubs grunted, pulling out more feathers, further exposing the extent of the damage. 'I'll be fine. I've done worse. Still, maybe I'll get lucky and this one will kill me.'

Dream Chaser hated it when Grubs spoke like that, but he knew challenging him would only upset him. Instead, he stood up and began to wander around. There was nothing in particular he was looking for. It was too early to get high, and too loud outside to sleep. He just wanted to keep his mind occupied.

'Chase?'

Dream Chaser didn't turn around, merely kept staring into space. 'Yeah?'

'You going out today?'

Dream Chaser considered this. 'Yeah, probably.'

'Do me a favour and grab something... I don't know, nice.' Grubs slid a small bag of bits towards him. 'I want to apologize to Gretel for last night. You know, wine, or chocolate, or... stuff like that.' Dream Chaser picked up the bag and weighed it in his hoof.

'Sure.' Privately he doubted a bottle of wine would make up for slashing her across the face in a drunken stupor. On the other hoof, Gretel was pretty much willing to put up with anything Grubs dealt out, so maybe he was being pessimistic.

The next two hours were fairly routine. Most houses were empty for the Summer Sun celebration, so gaining access undetected was easy. In the end, Dream Chaser made a little over a hundred bits, and a few trinkets which would be (he hoped) worth almost as much. That should last him another week.

At first, he had disgusted himself. A thief and a drug addict. But those feelings faded quickly. He either did this, or he starved. He could handle going hungry. But that wasn't the only kind of starvation he felt.

Oak had been a good teacher before he'd been busted. But Gregor had been one of the best. And he had been a natural. Dream Chaser could walk into a room and immediately spot the best - and most likely - places where valuables could be hidden. He was quiet. He could fit in places where Gregor couldn't. And, of course, he didn't stand out as much as the others.

In the end, he got Gretel a bottle of wine, as well as some antiseptic for Grubs. Normally, he wouldn't have bothered, but on the odd chance he did die, he didn't want to have to be the one who moved him.

The store clerk was cute, even if Dream Chaser was pretty sure he was disgusted by him. He was definitely starting to look like a drug addict. A few weeks without showering didn't help.

Gretel had returned by the time he got back. Her reaction to the gift was as over-the-top as Dream Chaser had expected, all tears and gratitude. Still, if she felt loved, Dream Chaser supposed that was all that mattered.

He couldn't wait anymore. Collapsing on the ruined couch, he rummaged around in the bottom of his saddlebag, pulling out a bag of pills. Placing two on the edge of his tonuge, he closed his eyes and felt himself float away.

The effect was much weaker now. He had considered increasing the dose, but he had been warned against it by Grubs. He no longer lost consciousness, but time slowed, his senses heighted, and new colours and sounds danced in front of him. But best of all was the peace.

He didn't need to think about what he'd done. He didn't worry about his family. He didn't worry about his future. There was just bliss.

For the next few hours, he sat there. Time alternately s l o w e d and spedup, as he watched the room go by. He slipped in and out of consciousness. He lost and regained control of his body.

Finally, he felt himself surfacing. He blinked slowly, focusing on the huddled couple in front of him. They had clearly gone under together. Besides them laid an empty bottle of wine.

It was dark outside, but the streets were still illuminated. The revellers outside continued their party, flaming decorations marching down the street like a river of living fire.

Where was Gregor? He should be back by now. Maybe he-

A sharp knocking at the door caught his attention. Gregor didn't knock. Ever. Dream Chaser hesitated, then called out into the darkness. 'Who's there?'

'Me. Open the door.' Gregor's voice sounded out.

He's not alone.

'Anyone with you?'

A moment of silence. Then - 'Yes. A... friend.'

Dream Chaser relaxed. Trotting over to the door, he wrenched it open, to be greeted by a griffon he'd never seen before.

He was certain of it. He could never have forgotten a griffon like this. He must be three times his size, with jet-black feathers and searing amber eyes. Gregor pushed past him. 'Let's get this over with.'

The griffon strode into the room. There was a regality to his step. He nodded towards Gretel and Grubs, a look of disgust focused upon the slumbering pair. 'Be that them?'

Gregor shut the door, an unusual deference to his voice. 'Yes, they be. Just do it already.'

The griffon growled. 'You disgrace our kind. For a griffon to shelter a traitor... I would kill you where you stood if not for our agreement.'

With that, he strode over to the pair. It barely took him two steps to cross the room. He waited for a second, as if contemplating them. Dream Chaser watched, silently. What the-

It happened in an instant. The griffon seized Grubs by his neck, and, with one swift movement, tore his head off his shoulders. Blood flew across the room, and a spray struck Dream Chaser, who found himself rooted to the spot.

Gretel opened her eyes. 'Wh-'

That was as far as she got. The griffon's claw came down on her throat, and the room was filled with the sickening sound of her neck breaking. Then, there was silence.

The griffon stood up. There was a look of immense disgust on his face, as if he had just crushed a cockroach. 'Be it done.' He turned back to Gregor. 'Consider yourself pardoned. Hail the King.'

He strode out, not giving Dream Chaser a single glance. The two of them were left alone.

Gregor closed the door behind him. A look of shame was on his face, yet marred with conviction. 'I'm sorry you had to see that.'

Dream Chaser felt tears well up in his eyes. 'W-why?'

Gregor grimaced. 'Grubs was a - a runaway. A deserter. Used to be a lot more, guys who abandoned their post in the last civil war. The Knights have been hunting them down for a long time. I knew that... that if I turned one in, they'd give me a pardon. So...'

He gestured to the pile of corpses in the middle of the room. 'There you go.'

Dream Chaser fell on his flank. 'But... Gretel?' He whispered softly.

'Ever heard of fraternization?' He shook his head. 'You wouldn't get it. You're just a pony. Back in the Kingdom, this is how they do things.' He gave a chuckle. 'Besides, I knew it wouldn't be long before one of them turned me in. Consider this a pre-emptive measure.'

Dream Chaser felt his head spin. This was... wrong. Grubs... Gretel...

'I need... I need a pill.'

Gregor nodded. 'Sure, Chase. I owe you that much.'