Unmasked

by Thunderscourge

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Other, Romance, Trixie, Slice of Life, Crossover
Length: 11332

Trixie is lonely, Cobra Commander is lonely. Romance ensues due to a dating website

The Great and Powerful Trixie is lonely on Hearts and Hooves day. The supreme ruler of Cobra, Cobra Commander himself, is jealous of all the ponies with special someponies around. With Destro and Baroness trying to make him happy, what could possibly happen? Trixie X Cobra Commander of course. Bits of Derpy Hooves, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie. Characters are all ponies, with the GI Joe characters all in ponified bodies.

Based on the comic of Naterrang on Deviantart
http://naterrang.deviantart.com/art/The-Perfect-Stallion-316204172

as well as the critique mini-story by Kobrakin
http://kobrakin.deviantart.com/critique/657990269/

Published 2012-08-16 20:14:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-16 20:14:01 UTC

Unmasking

A blue colored mare with a mane of a very light shade of blue hair trotted along the dirt path from the Apple farm to Ponyville, alone as she went. Her purple and star studded cape with a gem brooch rested on her back and her wizard's hat of the same kind sat atop her head, a head that was drooped slightly towards the ground in sadness.

The blue pony scowled as she walked slowly on her way back to the town she had been residing at the past few days with a single goal in mind, "All the Great and Powerful Trixie wanted was to get some cider…if a certain pink pony had not bought all the cider Trixie might have actually gotten a drink," Trixie gave a exasperated sigh before she thought back to the events of the past couple days. Her scowl deepened as she continued to think about it all, "You would think that a mare can only take so much of the stuff, and then not only drink it but gloat over how great it was…"

Lifting her head up, the magic show pony snarled, "And it doesn't help that those idiotic salesmen didn't make a better deal with the Apples. Then Trixie could have as much cider as she wished!"

Trixie tilted her head back arrogantly, as if she was looking down her nose at something and rolled her eyes, "And the way they were driven off? Uuugh, this friendship nonsense is getting to Trixie's head. What need does Trixie have of friends when Trixie am so amazing herself?"

Having reached the town again the mare was given sight of many other ponies walking around…almost exclusively in groups of two or greater. She harrumphed and closed her eyes, not wishing to see the town or the ponies who lived there. Unfortunately for her, loud yelling made her open her eyes in confusion.

"Cutie Mark Crusader spri-!"

The rest was cut off from Trixie's hearing as a pony nearby her dropped their groceries and caught her attention. A tan mare who she believed was named mister Cake or something of the like moved to help his wife, who had been the one to drop her groceries. On mister Cake's back were two young ponies, babies in face, and the sight made Trixie groan, "Trixie is not lonely. Trixie does not need companionship nor family."

Mister Cake picked up the bags and handed them to his wife, "Here you go dear."

Missus Cake smiled back at her husband and at their two children, "Thank you honey. Pinkie Pie is going to be ecstatic with all the new supplies and ingredients we got."

Mister Cake nodded back to her, "That's right, but I think we should wait until she is off the cider to give her cooking ingredients."

As the couple chuckled happily, the blue pony observing them crossed her hooves angrily, "Trixie does not-"

Trixie was cut off when a pink pony who literally jumped with every 'step' bumped into her unknowingly and knocked her over. With the pink pony were five other, less jumpy mares who all were conversing. An orange one of them was now speaking in reference to the help the other five had given in competing against Flim and Flam, "That was awfully nice of ya'll."

A light blue Pegasus who hovered above the others responded, "No problem AJ! Working together as a team let us drive those jerks off."

A light purple pony that the Great and Powerful Trixie knew all too well was the next to speak, Trixie listening in as she remained on the ground, "I am just sad that Flim and Flam didn't think about making a better deal with you. I mean, you might have been able to make a lot more bits with a lot less effort with their machine."

Now the orange one responded back, smiling sheepishly at her friends, "Well, maybe, but I would rather work hard and earn mah bits that way, you know?"

The purple one who Trixie detested so greatly shrugged, "Whatever way you want to do it is fine I suppose. We'll always be here to support you."

"What is it with this town and it's stupid relationships? The great and powerful Trixie needs none of that!" Trixie pounded her hoof into the ground angrily as the friends continued to walk on past her range of hearing.

Looking down at the ground the stage magician felt her hat droop down and slip down on her head so that it covered her wet eyes, "Trixie is not alone. Trixie is fine."

Equestria had faced many evils in the centuries and centuries ponies had lived there. Be it the chaotic Discord who sowed anarchy, the remorseless Windigos who nearly ended the existence of Equestria with their cold, or the ever present threat of monsters like manticores or even occasional incidents with dragons all tested the citizens and people who lived across the nation. Time and time again, the ponies were able to triumph over their enemies.

Now, all of these threats were occasional menaces. The god of chaos Discord was sealed away once again by the elements of harmony, the Windigos had left and had not been seen in ages except in stories meant to scare fillies, and while some fearsome creatures still existed in Equestria they often resided away from settlements and away from where the common pony would be. As a result of the lack of national threats of any kind, there was a distinct lack of military or armed forces. Whenever a problem arose it was often something resident ponies could solve, and if it wasn't then the princess Celestia herself would step in and stop the incident. Now with her sister, Luna, at Celestia's side the citizens of Equestria felt even more secure. Why would they need anything more than the Royal Guard, who were often just for show except their powerful captain Shining Armor, if nothing was a threat against them?

Well, they were correct in thinking they were in no imminent danger. Not for lack of effort though.

Disillusioned with how things were in the nation and even the world at large, a group of angry ponies had banded together to take over the nation and end the rule of the princess duo. This organization, named Cobra, had resources and members spanning across Equestria and held great power under its hooves. The downtrodden, the poor, and the rebellious all served willingly. And those who didn't serve willingly had no say in the matter, be it blackmail or other means of coercion. Cobra had money pouring into it from money scams targeting Equestria's rich and snobby, but the majority of its funding came from outside help. Other nations around the world such as the Gryphon kingdom all saw Cobra as a way of bringing down Equestria, the resulting nation being one that was more favorable to them due to the funding they gave the usurpers during their campaign against Celestia.

What they all didn't know was that the leader of the organization, titled Cobra Commander with no publicly known identity, might be smart at building machines and in technical things…but otherwise was an immature stallion who was like a colt who wanted everything to go his way all the time. He would waste a giant amount of resources to build a laser big and powerful enough to carve his face (or rather identity concealing helmet) on a mountain, only to then learn that he had been firing at a Dragon's lair. While the dragon was home. One smelted laser later, the Commander would go on to make a weather controlling device stationed at his main base, the Terrordrome. Because Cobra Commander had ticked off his prime assistant and second in command, Destro, with his gigantic hubris the device malfunctioned for "no reason" when it came time to dominate Equestria's very climate.

Due to the masterful diplomatic skills of Destro the funders of Cobra never learned of these mishaps. They did not know of the vast incompetence of Cobra Commander and they did not know that their money was being squandered at every turn. The citizens of Equestria never had to see any real marching army or threat because Cobra would often bungle its own operation before it could do anything. The times it didn't get in its own way? Well, Celestia had a solution to that.

While Equestria might not have a firm military force to use in time of need, Celestia and Luna had decided that they could put something together for this failure of a criminal organization. The GI Joes were the result of this notion that a reaction force to Cobra was needed. Celestia thought that a mockery of a criminal group did not warrant her best stallions and mares in duty however, so she decided to assign 'special' or decidedly less good members to the new group. She was able to make this group the ideal heroes for her people, letting them dress is tacky, custom uniforms and allowing extreme personalities into the group. Her royal subjects all would believe that Cobra was a threat due to this GI force forming, or rather those who hadn't witnessed Cobra's blunders, but would remain happy with their princesses for protecting them from this evil. The GI Joes did not know that they were really just laughingstocks, and Cobra didn't realize their foes were really as pathetic as them. A battle between fools it was.

So, what was Cobra Commander up to at the moment? The criminal mastermind was currently standing on his back legs at one of the many entrances to a town called Ponyville, his arms crossed as his featureless silver and blue helmet shone in Celestia's sunbeams and his blue uniform contrasted harshly with the area around him.

His second in command Destro had no idea what the hay this had to do with their schemes either.

"Why Ponyville, Commander?"

In his high pitched and screechy voice Cobra Commander responded to his assistant melodramatically, placing his hooves on his hips, "If we can corrupt and dominate the city where Equestria's heroes live, then we will have scored a powerful blow against the nation!"

Destro, less used to balancing on his back legs as his leader since he didn't give the many longwinded speeches the man did, stood on all fours as his own silver mask, with facial features unlike Cobra Commander's, shone in the sunlight, "I see," turning to face the town, Destro sighed before he pointed out his issue with this idea, "Wouldn't it make more sense to conquer some of the smaller cities and areas such as the newly established Apple family town in the desert, use the resources gained in those ventures, occupy larger cities and reap those profits, and then try to capture the town where the ponies who defeated Nightmare Moon and Discord live?"

Cobra Commander wagged a hoof at his second-in-command as he leant back in surprise, "What? No! That would take too long!"

Destro frowned and shook his head, "It would not take all that long actually, only a couple months should get the plan really rolling-"

The leader of Cobra groaned, "A couple months?" He threw his hoof down angrily to emphasize his point, "No! We are going with my plan."

"But sir, we will spend more time here getting nothing accomplished if-" Destro was cut off for the first time that day in what he was sure to be one of many instances of just that.

"Silence!" Cobra Commander screeched, "Begin preparations for our operations at once!"

Destro bowed his head and shook it sadly, "Yes Commander."

As Destro turned away from his leader and left, the fully blue clad, childish yet genius pony left behind put a hoof on his helmet's chin area and spoke to himself, "Now, I think I will go and look around this town myself. No-one here likely knows of me so I won't have to change outfits"

It was not ten steps into the town that a high pitched yelling could be heard that caught Cobra Commander's attention, "Cutie Mark Crusader sprinters!"

The rebel leader turned his head towards the commotion, "Cutie Mark what now-?" as soon as he turned three small figures crashed into the stallion and knocked him off his hooves, crashing to the ground as the three figures bounced off of him in different directions and landed on their own rear ends. Wagging a hoof angrily, Cobra Commander yelled, "Hey, watch where you're going!"

A pale yellow filly with a red mane, a big bow, and gigantic eyes got up and looked sadly at the blue clad pony, "Ahm sorry sir. We were just trying to get our cutie marks."

Cobra Commander turned his head away from the eyes of cuteness indignantly, "Just make sure you don't do it again. I really don't feel like having Filly stew again this month."

The three Cutie Mark Crusaders jumped onto their mini-hooves and hightailed it out of there at the mention of filly stew, "Eeeek!"

"At least somepony knows to fear Cobra Commander!" Said Cobra Commander yelled after them as he shook a hoof at their retreating forms.

Breaking away from her friends as they passed by the rebel leader who was situated on his bum, a white mare with dark purple hair spoke to Cobra Commander, "Oh my, where did you get that ridiculous outfit?" She made a face as she examined the blue dress shirt underneath a blue dress jacket and blue pants of the same color, "Who would even make something that gaudy?"

Cobra Commander pointed his hoof at Rarity angrily, "It's not gaudy!"

Rarity lifted her head up arrogantly, "I am sorry sir, but that much blue is just an affront to nature itself," looking back down at the dirt covered stallion, Rarity asked, "Would you care to come with me and have something done about it? I am not skilled enough to save that outfit of yours, but maybe I could find you something that-"

The rebel shook his helmet vigorously, "No! The outfit stays! Cobra Commander has an amazing fashion sense and you are a fool to say otherwise!"

Rarity rose an eyebrow, unsure if the stallion was sane with that proclamation about his attire, and responded, "Well, I guess that's too bad. I was really hoping I could help you out, but I guess that's really just too bad."

Jumping out of the bush she used to hide from the scary newcomer, Sweetie Belle called out to her sister, "Hey Rarity!"

The mare turned to face her younger sibling and smiled, now ignoring the obnoxiously blue clad stallion, "Why there you are Sweetie Belle. I was looking all over for you. Our parents will be coming to visit later today and we need to tidy things up."

Sweetie Belle nodded to her sister happily before prancing towards where Rarity's boutique and home was located, "Okay!"

Rarity dashed after her and stood in her path to the boutique, "Sweetie Belle, I needed to find you to tell you to stay away from my shop. You see," the mare placed a hoof on her chin as she thought about how to be diplomatic while telling her sister that she was destruction incarnate, "What is the best way to put this…"

The Cutie Mark Crusader looked down at the ground and replied with great sadness, "I ruin everything…"

Rarity nodded and put her hoof on her sister's shoulder, "Yes, that. Would you mind doing something away from my shop for the rest of the day please?"

Sweetie Belle lit up and nodded happily, "Sure thing Rarity!" she looked over to the bush she had hidden in and yelled, "Come on girls! Let's go try to find our cutie marks!"

While the Cutie Mark Crusaders all departed and Rarity went on her way there was still one pony left on the ground. Cobra Commander brushed off some of the dirt that had ended up on his uniform and mumbled to himself as he became alone, "Pfft, family. Who needs them?"

The sinister leader of Cobra stood up and brushed off the last dirt on his torso. Once he was upright the pony looked around the town before him and one thing he found to be in common with all the faces he saw. They were all smiling and happy and joyful. No downtrodden people like in Manehatten, people he could convert to his cause, corrupt, or otherwise use. No, everypony was happy.

The Commander rubbed his helmet confusedly, "Why is everyone in this town so…happy? What the hay? It's unnatural. This place needs a good Cobra takeover-owww!"

Cobra Commander had been knocked over now by a falling box, the kind used to ship items in the mail, and he fell over again. Above him was a hovering grey mare with light yellow hair, "Ooops! My bad! You okay mister?"

The leader of Cobra shook his head to snap out of his dizzy state, "Yes…I'm fine," the mare landed next to him and he inspected them, something catching his eye about her appearance, "What's wrong with you?"

The mare with eyes going in two different directions tried looking at Cobra Commander, only succeeding with one as she asked in her boyish voice seriously, "What's wrong with me?"

Cobra Commander pointed a hoof at her face, "Your eyes, why are they like that?"

Derpy tilted her head, completely confused, "Like what?"

Realizing the low level of intelligence he was dealing with, Cobra Commander shook his head and waved a hoof at her, "Forget it."

The grey mare instantly lost the serious look and smiled, "Want a muffin?"

Completely caught off guard, Cobra Commander leant away from the mare, "What kind of question is that, 'do I want a muffin'?"

Derpy shook her head and laughed, "No, I said 'want a muffin', not 'do I want a muffin' silly," putting a hoof on her chin, Derpy thought she had found the reason for his 'error', "Oh, I get it! You can't hear with that bucket on your head. I'll get it off!"

While Derpy moved to take Cobra Commander's infamous helmet off the criminal backpedaled away from her, "Stay back you androgynous sounding mare! I'm warning you!"

Derpy frowned, her eyes still going two different ways, "But I'm trying to help you."

Cobra Commander held his arms out to block her from getting any closer, "Stop helping and go away!"

Taking off with her wings, Derpy agreed, "Okay! Pinkie Pie has my new muffins anyways."

Grey mare flying by him and knocking him down onto his stomach, Cobra Commander groaned, "…this town is insane…" lifting his hoof into the air the stallion declared weakly, "Cobra…retreat…"

It was the special time of year when ponies get together to celebrate their special somepony. Yes, it was Hearts and Hooves day and love was in the air. Nose nuzzling, sweet embraces, gift giving, it all could be found. Yes, love was in the air…

For most ponies that was.

The town of Ponyville was a bustling place because of the holiday. Mares, stallions, fillies and colts alike were all out and about with their special someponies. In one particular place some ponies were gathering, the center of them being a pink pony with a loudspeaker.

The party obsessed pony known as Pinkie Pie spoke into her voice amplifier to all the people in the nearby area with her high pitched voice, "Hearts and Hooves day party for all of you couples out there! If you don't got a special somepony, come anyways! I'm sure you'll find someone there!"

A light blue colored pony with a light yellow mane turned to face their special somepony, "Hear that Caramel?"

The light orange colt with a brown mane turned to face his mare friend, "I sure did!" Looking at his mare friend's disguise caused Caramel to chuckle, "You going to get out of that costume anytime soon?"

The not normally light blue mare shook her head, "Not yet. Got to make sure the coast is clear," the mare looked around for her family as she responded to him.

Caramel grinned brightly at her and nuzzled his nose against hers, "I can't wait to see your beautiful mane and face."

The now blushing face of the mare heated up a little and a little bit of the blue paint dripped away to reveal blue's complementary color, "Awww, thanks a lot sug-"

In the same plaza as Caramel and his mare friend was the beleaguered Cobra Commander and his assistant Destro. Destro was wishing to be elsewhere than there doing 'reconnaissance', or rather his Commander watching other couples jealously. The silver masked Commander of Cobra ought to get out more in Destro's expert opinion. And lighten up. That would help a lot in the long run of things.

In his loud and shrieky voice, Cobra Commander yelled and drew the attention of some ponies, "What nonsense is this!? It's cavity inducing sweet! Make it go away!"

The world did not heed Cobra Commander however and continued doing what it was doing, "Ah got this for you sweetums."

The leader of Cobra groaned as he heard the response, "And I got this for you honeybunch!"

Cobra Commander grabbed the sides of his helmet, his ears protruding from it and under black skintight uniform laying back in sadness, "The romance! Make it stop!" He smashed a hoof into a nearby table before pointing it at the sickeningly sweet couples in the area, "See? This is why I need to be in charge of things! When I, Cobra Commander, rule Equestria I will ban all public displays of emotion!"

"Commander-" Destro began but was cut off by the arrival of three fillies popping up right next to him and the Commander.

An orange filly with light purple hair pointed at the Commander who had threatened to eat her and her friends in their last encounter, "This one's too masky. Not enough face," she whispered to the lighter colored grey mare next to her, "And he's mean."

The pale yellow one with a red bow in the group pointed a hoof at Destro now, "And this one's got ah mask on his face too."

Sweetie Belle nodded to her friends Apple Bloom and Scootaloo, "Keep searching girls! We'll find someone for miss Cheerilee!"

Cobra Commander groaned in frustration, his head sinking sadly, "Those three again…this town is completely mental. How does anyone here function?"

Destro ignored his leader's question and tried to finish what he was saying before, "Sir, if I may, I do have something to do today-"

"Fine, whatever!" Cobra Commander snapped. His head drooped even more and he added in a much later tone, "Just leave me alone…"

Destro could have sworn he had heard a sniffle somewhere in that. It was not like the Commander to be emotional, but Destro supposed that even the leader of Cobra had feelings like any other pony. Even if they were messed up and distorted, they were there. Caringly Destro placed a hoof on his leader's shoulder, "Commander?"

Something clicked in the mind of Cobra Commander. In a cross voice the high pitched man spoke back to Destro, ignoring the kindness trying to be showed to him, "Wait a minute. You're not going on a date with my sister, are you?"

The second-in-command opened his mouth and tried to find words that wouldn't lead to him being killed, "Well sir, I-"

Cobra Commander pawed at the dirt beneath him angrily, "You are!" the Commander let out a large sigh of exasperation and calmed down, easing back into his sadness, "Great, now I won't even have the only two people I know around. Instead they are going to be off going smoochie smoochie while I sit alone in my Terrordrome while everyone else on base is having fun with their special somepony."

Destro removed his hoof from his commander's body, "Well Commander, you could always find someone to spend the day with. I am sure that someone on the base would gladly-"

A scoff was the response, "The Terrordrome? That would be a terrible idea! One should not mix personal life with work, no they should not!" the pony known as Cobra Commander glared harshly from beneath his featureless helmet at his subordinate and he spoke in a sarcastic tone of voice, "You know that, don't you?"

Knowing that his commander was referring to the relationship between he and Baroness, Destro quickly tried to change the subject, "Well then why don't you search around the town?"

Cobra Commander shook his head furiously, "No! I have had enough with this town and it's blasted residents," standing on his back hooves, the Commander crossed his front ones crossly while he spoke in denial, "Besides, I don't need a special somepony. Nopony! Besides, who could be fit to be with a man such as myself?"

"A loonie," Destro whispered.

Cobra Commander leered at his second-in-command again, "What was that Destro?"

Destro spoke in a completely calm voice, as if he had not just insulted his leader, and decided he had had enough of Ponyville for the time being, "Nothing sir. Now, I have to meet Baroness, so I will be going now."

As Destro turned to depart his leader shook a hoof at him furiously, "Deserter!"

Sitting in her new home, Trixie leant on one hoof as she looked at her computer screen through her glasses with a bored expression on her face. She was completely alone in her room, a room that held a large picture of her lounging on a chair, completely full of herself. For an added amount of hubris, she signed the picture "The Great and Powerful". Trixie did not acknowledge the fact or even entertain the idea that the reason she was alone was how much of she thought of herself in comparison to others.

Trixie clicked on her mouse with her hoof that was not supporting her face, clicking on the shortcut icon that would open her email. Meanwhile she spoke to herself in an attempt to deceive herself, "Trixie does not want somepony to be with. This frivolous holiday is not making her long for somepony to love her."

Her purple eyes scanned the screen as the new window opened up, "New emails, new emails…no new emails," Trixie's head sunk a little, "Not even a message from mother nagging me to see ponies."

In a sad need for attention, even the automatically and mass produced kind, Trixie opened up a certain folder of mail that she did have new messages in, "Spam box…no, Trixie does not want a discount at some cake shop. No, Trixie is not interested in the online sale of last seasons' dresses," Trixie took a sip from her pinecone flavored drink and put it down as her eyes came across something, "Find your Special Somepony. A site made for lonely colts and mares who have not found someone to be with."

Trixie snorted and shut her eyes, "Trixie could find a colt any day she wishes at any time she wishes. Trixie could probably find one better than this site ever could provide."

…

Trixie opened an eye to look at the screen, "Let's see how good this site really is so Trixie can laugh at it," the show pony felt a need to mask her loneliness despite no-one else being in the room or even the house.

As she navigated through the site and sign up process something caught Trixie's eye. There was a fee to sign up on the site, but the isolated mare shrugged, "Fine, it's not like Trixie isn't rolling in cash."

Paying the necessary amount of bits, Trixie continued on. As she signed up a message popped up that she read aloud, "In order to ensure the best possible match, please complete the following personality test."

Trixie shifted her gaze down at her pinecone drink and she resumed her head on hoof position, feeling pathetic that she was actually doing this and feeling more pathetic that if she wanted to meet anyone she would have to do this, "I suppose that makes sense. Only the best are worthy of dating the great and powerful Trixie after all!"

Having given up on hanging out in Ponyville, Cobra Commander took a seat in his spacious room at his Terrordrome located in the Everfree Forest. On the wall behind him was a large picture showing none other than the Commander himself sprawled out on a couch, the words "The Supreme One" signed on the gigantic picture of the narcissistic man.

Setting down the food he had just had delivered to him so that he could eat in peace and with no-one witnessing the tragedy that was his face, Cobra Commander used a hoof to click on his computer's mouse. The computer exited sleep mode and showed his email on the screen. The normally barren wasteland known as Cobra Commander's email box had something that caught the stallion's eye however, "One new email? I wonder who it is from."

Clicking on the email revealed the sender and the message it contained. The email was of a decent size and was from none other than the Baroness, "Ooh, sister sent this. It must be important," Cobra Commander looked at the words in the email and read them aloud to himself, a way to make things more lively in the quiet room, "'Dear brother, since you blocked Destro's email account for absolutely no reason, I am sending this in his place. Go to this link and fill in the information you need to. It costs a small amount of money, but it's worth it if you won't be as lonely. Maybe if you can find the right mare you'll learn to be more humble and less selfish, traits that would help you lead Cobra better. Love, your sister."

The Commander slammed a hoof down on the desk, "Who does she think she is talking to? I am Cobra Commander, supreme ruler of the best rebel organization Equestria has ever seen! I do not need somepony to help me learn how to be a better pony, to make me feel all gushy! I don't!" something after the main message now caught the earth pony's eye, "What's this?"

He read the addition to the message aloud like he had the rest, "'P.S. Destro isn't as bad as you think.' What? Of course he is! He is a vile man who is one of the worst subordinates I have ever had!" He continued reading the message from Baroness, "'He is pretty good at his job and really helps out Cobra. Maybe you should be a little easier on him. You might even get along.' Shows how much she knows! How could I possibly get along with somepony who is stealing my sister from me? I have half a mind to have him dropped in my snake pit for this offense."

As if he had been offended the helmeted man turned away from the screen and gave a harrumph, "I don't need that site to find somepony…not at all. I could pick up any of the mares in the rec room if I wanted. I just won't. It would look bad if people thought I used my rank to date subordinates," his covered ears drooped back a little, "But I can't suffer through that town again…"

…

"Fine, I'll do this stupid dating service. And when it shows that everymare is willing to go out with me I will be able to laugh at the pathetic search engine of hearts!" The pony laugh maniacally for a moment before he settled down and began opening the site, "Nopony who uses a site as pathetic as this deserves a leader as brilliant as myself."

One part of the signup process did not please Cobra Commander, "Money? You need money now? Ugh, I guess sister did mention that…" he paid the necessary bits from his unnecessarily large bank account and continued, "There, you happy? Stupid money grubbing website. Bet it doesn't even work right. I expect a refund of some sort when this fails."

As he continued the sign up process, Cobra Commander read the instructions aloud, ""In order to ensure the best possible match, please complete the following personality test."

He just had to fill out some simple questions and then he could laugh at it all.

Just some simple questions. Then laughter and having a good time at the website's expense.

Right?

The Great and Powerful Trixie grabbed her glasses off her face and smashed them into the desk her computer was on with one hoof as she read her results, her pinecone drink falling off the table due to her slam, "WHAT!? Delusional!? Megalomaniacal!? Blames others for own failings!? ONLY ONE MATCH!?"

Trixie screamed, "WHO THE HAY IS NAMED COBRA COMMANDER!?"

Cobra Commander slammed his hoof down on his desk and knocked off his food while crushing his cup, "WHAT THE HAY!? ONLY ONE MATCH!?"

The leader of Cobra yelled as loud as he could, "Destro! Where are you!? This is all your fault! And GI Joe! It's their fault too!"

Destro, having been about to knock before entering the room, opened the door and asked, "What is my fault Commander?"

Cobra Commander pointed a hoof at the other pony, "This stupid site you tried sending me says I only have one match! One match! Do you know how humiliating that is?!"

The metal faced stallion tilted his head in confusion, "And how is it GI Joe's fault?"

"It just is! They ruin everything all the time!" his commander screamed back.

Destro rolled his eyes and trotted over to his leader and his computer, "Have you met the person who it matched you with?"

The childish leader turned his head away indignantly, "No, of course not. I don't have time to know everypony in Equestria."

Destro looked at the computer screen and saw the only result, somepony named Trixie Lulamoon, "Maybe you'll get along with them," Destro put a hoof on the mouse and started using the site, "Here, let me arrange for you to go on a date with them."

His commander screamed at him, but made no physical motion to stop Destro, "What?! Are you crazy? I am not going on a date!"

"Then why did you bother signing up at all?" Destro asked without sparing a glance at his leader, still signing the man up for the date.

"To show that the site is broken," Cobra Commander lied, his hooves crossed again.

Destro chortled, "And you are upset at the fact that you only had one match? I believe you are just lonely Commander and won't admit it to yourself."

His Commander only snorted in response, not having a way of denying his subordinate's claim in any manner that would be a good excuse.

Destro continued to work on setting a date up with this Trixie by using the website, "Here, let me arrange the date for you. You just have to show up."

"I don't want to," despite complaining, Cobra Commander made no effort to stop Destro.

"You'll get a refund from the site if you go on a date and it doesn't work out," Destro replied flatly.

"When is it?"

Trixie had her head down on her hooves, her broken glasses to the side of the desk now, and she just tried not doing anything. She felt lonely, not having fans to adore her in the town she now took residence in due to a certain Ursa incident, and not having anyone else because of her arrogance. The mare felt like sobbing into her hooves, she really did, but she felt that such a thing was beneath her. Crying like some baby? The Great and Powerful Trixie was beyond such a thing…so she thought. Her eyes were watering as she lay on her desk.

A chime from the computer next to her snapped Trixie out of her self pity. Looking up at it, the stage magician found that her email box now had one new message inside of it. Not the spam box, but her normal email. Curious and attention starved, Trixie clicked on the message with one hoof while using the other to support her head.

"New email? Who would want to email me? No-one ever emails Trixie…"

Trixie read the email aloud now, "From Cobra Commander? Really? What kind of name is that? Whatever…time, place…"

Trixie's forlorn countenance quickly changed to one of extreme happiness as she realized what this meant. In a way opposite of her showpony attitude, the mare squealed happily, "Trixie has a date!"

Realizing that this would be her first time ever being on such a venture, the unicorn's head sunk sadly. She honestly didn't know what to do to prepare, "Trixie has a date…"

To make herself feel better about the insecurity she felt the showpony snorted, "This had better be worth it."

The Great and Powerful Trixie had decided to wear her purple cape with stars on it to the date, storing her hat away with magic. She didn't really want to draw everyone's attention with her wizard's hat, but she did not feel proper enough without her cape.

Trixie entered the plaza where she had been told she would be meeting with her date, and it did not take long to find him. Be it grey lips on tan lips or a deep pink-purple pony staring dreamily into the eyes of the red stallion across from her who was doing the same thing, the many ponies gathered all had somepony else with them.

Except one stallion who sat alone at a table, dressed in a full outfit covering his entire body with a black skintight uniform over any showing parts. His face was covered by a blank steel mask with a blue helmet around it. Trixie could instantly tell 'Cobra Commander' was this fellow.

Trixie trotted past another couple on her way to meet this mysterious match of hers. Being the Great and Powerful Trixie, she did not feel bad about listening in on their conversation.

The colt in the pair was looking around behind him, searching for somepony or somponies as it turned out, "Okay, I think they're gone. You can take the disguise off."

The mare nodded to him and undid her yellow mane, letting it resume it's normal state, "Sorry 'bout that-"

Trixie, recognizing who the mare was from when she first came to Ponyville, harrumphed and trotted a little faster past her. Didn't want to bring any bad and old memories into this occasion.

The Great and Powerful Trixie arrived at the table the masked man was at, looking at him with an eyebrow raised, "...Is Trixie to assume you are her date?"

The stallion scoffed, "Bah! Don't remind me. Make no mistake, I'm only here because that idiotic site only provides refunds if you actually go on a date."

Trixie did not know that fact, but played it off like she did. She laughed and sat down, "Ha! The Great and Powerful Trixie is glad to know you did not make the mistake of presuming yourself worthy of her. She is also here for the sole purpose of securing a refund."

Cobra Commander replied in his high pitched voice, "Good! Because there's no way I would even need that idiotic farce of a website to get a date," he lied, "I only tried it on a whim to begin with, and certainly not because I was soul-crushingly lonely. That would be...absurd!"

The mare in the couple looked away slightly, a little embarrassed, "Yes...Trixie agrees! The idea that she would require assistance in finding companionship is...laughable! Yes. Completely laughable."

Not having done this sort of thing ever before in his life, Cobra Commander remained silent. He wasn't sure what to say next. What would a girl want him to say? From the sound of it she was self centered like he was, but that didn't mean she would like it if he acted that way. Furthermore, he felt a little flustered after lying about how absurd it was that he needed the site to find a date. As a result, he was even in less of a position to speak.

Trixie too could not form words, embarrassed and not experienced in this sort of thing as well. She wanted to say something but had no idea where to begin. She didn't even know much about this stallion, but she did like that she could see her reflection in his faceplate.

To get rid of the awkward silence, Cobra Commander decided to talk about something that they both seemed to share in common. Hating the site, "...Also, the fools running it are the most incompetent, mentally deficient degenerates I have ever encountered!

Trixie went back to being smug and haughty in a millisecond now that she had something to be mean to, "YES! Trixie agrees completely! To think they had the nerve of insulting her humble and generous nature is an unforgivable affront!

The hammy nature of this mare was growing on Cobra Commander, "Completely unforgivable! In fact, I'll see to it that the lot of them are thrown into a pit of enraged vipers!"

Trixie was liking the idea this stallion was putting forth, "Yes, and the pit should be surrounded with fire, so it's impossible for them to escape!"

The leader of Cobra laughed, actually enjoying the idea of torturing these people along with his date, "Brilliant! We should also electrify the walls, so they have no chance of climbing out, either!" Cobra Commander replied enthusiastically.

"Naturally! Also, the floor should be freshly waxed, so they constantly slip and fall onto the snakes!" Trixie laughed too, getting into this whole idea.

"GLORIOUS! Also, the snakes should be on fire!" Cobra Commander yelled, drawing the attention of some ponies nearby but their interest quickly faded as they looked back to their special someponies.

Trixie giggled at the bombastic man, "That does not even make sense, but Trixie agrees completely!"

Cobra Commander leant his head on one hoof and smiled brightly beneath his helmet, "...Have I mentioned how much I love that your ostentatious fashion sense and egocentric mannerisms remind me of myself?"

Trixie blushed lightly as she looked into the featureless silver helmet on his face, "No, you did not, but has Trixie mentioned how much she loves that she is able to admire her reflection in your faceplate while speaking to you?"

Cobra's leader looked into Trixie's purple eyes, actually finding that he enjoyed her presence, "I was just about to say the same thing about those captivating eyes of yours. They remind me of a cobra poised for the kill."

"That is the loveliest compliment Trixie has ever received," Trixie said with a large blush. She had received compliments from crowds before, but that was a result of her lying and showing off to them. She was just having fun right now, not trying to impress anyone.

"...Would you like to see my Terrordrome? I just had my Weather Dominator upgraded," Cobra Commander asked nervously.

Trixie undid her spell that was storing her hat in hammerspace and put it on, ready to leave right then and there with the helmeted man, "You had Trixie at "Dominator."

After many hours of devious plotting and scheming in Cobra Commander's Terrordrome to exact vengeance on the dating site creators, the mischevious duo departed due to Trixie having to get up early the next day to travel to another town and do her magic acts. This left the evil leader of Cobra by himself in his command center though…and suddenly the evil genius had an idea.

Cobra Commander clicked a button on his desk that opened a private channel to a certain second-in-command's room, "Destro, put Trixie on the 'Do Not Kill' list!"

Destro responded over the channel, since he could send his voice over it only after his leader had first contacted him, "I was not aware we had such a list."

"We don't. So start one," Cobra Commander replied. The evil rebel leader decided to continue, "And put her name on it! Oh, right, put my name on it too."

Destro nodded as he began to open up a word document on his computer, "I shall be sure to add my name, as well."

"Actually..." Cobra Commander thought for a moment about how much he valued Destro, then came up with a solution to him not being on the same list as he and Trixie, "Why don't you just put yourself on the 'Maybe Don't Kill' list."

"...My loathing for you has never been greater then at this exact moment," Destro responded with contempt.

"Now, now, Destro, that's not the kind of attitude for someone aiming for the 'Do Not Kill' list," Cobra Commander scolded like he was talking to a child.

"...I despise my job."

Cobra Commander ignored that last response, "While you're at it, add Baroness to the 'Do Not Kill' list too! Thanks a lot Destro, you're such a great help."

Destro shook his head and sighed. He had no idea how he managed to stay sane under this man.

Hearts and Hooves day had passed, but that did not mean Trixie did not wish to have a special somepony anymore. No, in fact she enjoyed the company of this 'Cobra Commander' quite much. After she returned from a long day of entertaining ponies in a town that did not hate her, the mare took it upon herself to email Cobra Commander and arrange for another get together. His response was swift, as if he had been waiting for an email, and they decided that the next day would be a day for more plotting.

After the two met in the same plaza that had seen one another the other day and finished scheming, a question came across Trixie's mind that she just had to ask, "So, what is it that you do anyways? You had that big base and all those ponies working for you, but what's it all for?"

Cobra Commander grinned smugly under his helmet as he thought about his organization, "Using money that I took from lesser minds through pyramid schemes, I began a rebel movement against Equestria and the world itself!" the rebel leader took an apple on their table into one hoof, "With many groups also funding us significantly in the hope that we one day topple the nation, we will be able to use our vast resources to one day conquer the nation and then the world!" As he said this he smashed the apple with his extra hoof.

Trixie smiled and lidded her eyes a little, "Ooooh, high ambitions. Trixie likes that in a guy."

Pleased with her approval, Cobra Commander pumped a hoof into the air, "Without ambitions one will get nowhere in life! When I was but a colt I realized that having a physical goddess who is out of touch with the world and the people in it should not be leading them, but rather someone who is intelligent and conscious should be in charge! My organization, Cobra, will change that from an idea to reality one day!"

The magician of the two chuckled, glad to see that she was not the only melodramatic pony around, "So, Trixie takes it that you'll need people smart enough to get things done supporting you before and during your reign as supreme overlord?"

"Why yes, yes I will. And my current members don't really fit the bill," quietly, he added, "Especially that dolt Destro…"

The Great and Powerful Trixie fluttered her eyes at her helmet wearing companion, "Can Trixie help out in any way? Conquering Equestria sounds like a task that is worthwhile to someone as great and powerful as me."

Cobra Commander nodded, "Why of course my dear Trixie! We may be a military group but we do not discriminate against females in any way. In fact one of my top officers, Baroness, is obviously female!"

The title of this mare he mentioned caused Trixie to furrow her brow apprehensively, "Baroness?" The name sounded like a dominatrix to Trixie, and given her high rank…

Being the moronic genius he was, Cobra Commander did not catch the way Trixie was not happy at learning of someone with a name like Baroness was among his top officers, "One of my longtime supporters. She is loyal to the cause because of-"

Trixie crossed her hooves in an annoyed fashion, "Tell Trixie that this Baroness is not some sort of past lover."

Cobra Commander blanched and shuddered, "What?! No, of course not! She's my sister for Celestia's sake! Ewww, ahhh, now I need to get some brain bleach!" he let out another shudder before continuing, "No, she's got this odd relationship with Destro, my second in command, for some reason," pausing briefly, Cobra Commander felt a question pop up in the back of his mind, "And when did we say we were mutually exclusive?"

Trixie looked down at the table in an embarrassed fashion, "We didn't."

"…"

"Do you want to be exclusive?" Cobra Commander offered, not actually disliking the notion.

Trixie grinned, "Trixie likes this idea," now it was the magician's turn to ask a question, "So what shall Trixie call you? What is your real name?"

He blinked in a confused manner, not that she could see that with his helmet on, "Cobra Commander."

His marefriend shook her head, "No, Trixie meant your name, not your title."

"I…" he started but quickly stopped. He thought that something like this would come up, but he was honestly hoping it would be later in their meetings. He swallowed his breath nervously as he continued, "don't usually give that info out."

Trixie gave him a smug, devilish grin, "Well why doesn't Trixie just ask this sister of yours? Trixie bets that she could get her fellow mare to divulge your identity-"

'Cobra Commander' held his hooves up in surrender, "Fine, fine!" He sighed deeply and bowed his head as he mubled, "My name is Rex Cobra-la Lewis. Happy now?"

Trixie Lulamoon smiled at him and put a hoof on his shoulder from across their small table, "Trixie is pleased, yes, Rex. Long name you have, Rex. And Lewis? Never heard of a name like that before."

Rex lowered his head sadly, not liking that he had to divulge information about himself, "My family is from another nation originally, with a different way of naming people," he put his hoofs together and begged, "Please don't call me that around the others though! My full name is kind of embarrassing…"

She gave him a reassuring smile and spoke in a tone of the same nature, "Fine, CC. When it's just us however Trixie intends to call you it as much as Trixie wants."

The sigh he let out was one of relief this time, "Deal," the man who was formerly known as Rex tilted his head questioningly, "What about you Trixie? I haven't heard very much about you?"

Trixie shrugged, "I don't have the most special past. Normal upbringing and all for an Equestrian, but when I was younger somepony was mean to me for absolutely no reason. They treated me like a nopony and I was just a small filly…I wanted to make sure that nopony would treat me like that again! I studied magic and became good at doing tricks, and other ponies loved it when I showed them what I could do. That's what got me into doing shows, really. Ponies from all around my hometown would come to see me do things…I learned after awhile that if you're good at something, never do it for free."

Cobra Commander nodded, "Very true, very true. I enjoy the riches my job brings me quite a lot. They help me in my science projects."

Trixie rose an eyebrow, "Science projects?"

Rex smiled beneath his helmet, "Why yes, science projects. I have quite the interest in science and it is one of the things I am able to do best. My favorite project is my-"

Cobra Commander was on his way to his third date with Trixie Lulamoon when something with an amazing fragrance was caught by his nose. Sniffing around, Rex found that the smell was coming from the pink pony standing a few feet from him who was chowing down on free samples of cupcakes.

Pointing a hoof at the pink pony, Rex yelled, "Cobra Commander demands you share!"

Pinkie Pie smiled at him and held out a cupcake, "Alrighty Cobra Pony! You must be new to Ponyville and I always like meeting new people!"

The leader of Cobra grunted as he took the cupcake she offered, "Cobra Commander is my name. Remember it!"

Pinkie Pie nodded to him happily, "Sure thing Cobra Pony!"

"Cobra Commander!" He yelled, irked by her error.

"Cobra Pony!" She giggled and laughed at the way he was getting frustrated.

"It's Cobra Commander you dolt!"

Pinkie Pie continued to laugh, "I'm not a colt, Cobra Pony!" As he growled in anger the mare giggled again, "I like this game!"

"Cobra COMMANDER!" He yelled.

In the same manner that she fooled many others, Pinkie Pie yelled back to him what he had just said, "Cobra COMMANDER!"

Now having swapped positions in the argument, Cobra Commander was arguing for the side opposite of what he wanted, "Cobra Pony!"

Pinkie gave him a stern look as she yelled back, "Cobra Commander, and that's final!"

"No! The name is Cobra Pony and you had best remember that!" Rex yelled furiously, not catching his error.

Having succeeded in beating him verbally, the mare laughed, "Okie dokie Loki!" Pinkie Pie looked up at the sky and rubbed her chin with one hoof, "Hey, I wonder how Loki's doing? Last time I saw him his brother was dragging him along while he wore a muzzle. On second thought I don't think they were playing dress up…"

Cobra Commander put a hoof on his forehead, or rather on the place where his helmet covered his forehead and groaned, "Oh for Celestia's sake, what are you on!?"

Pinkie Pie grinned brightly, "I'm on the ground silly!" In her own special manner, Pinkie Pie went right back into talking about her Loki story, "And I remember the time before I last well! You see-"

Cobra Commander tried shooing the mare away with one hoof, "Please stop, Cobra Commander doesn't care for your inane prattle, simpleton."

She did not seem to notice his attempt to get rid of her at all, "-Loki was scheming a prank on Thor with Tulio, but Miguel was off partying with Thor-"

"I'm leaving now," he stated calmly before turning and doing just that. He had to go meet Trixie.

Cobra Commander had made it but ten feet by the time he heard someone yell, "Watch out!"

Having learned the chaotic nature of the town days prior, Cobra Commander jumped out of the way as fast as he could. The next instant a small orange filly pegasus that he recognized smashed into the ground in a painful manner right in the spot he had been. A light blue mare Pegasus hovered on over to help the orange filly up. After making sure the smaller one was okay, the blue mare turned to face Cobra Commander, "Sorry about that. Scootaloo here is just learning how to fly."

Cobra Commander snorted and continued on his path, "I don't care, I just have to get going. I don't want to be late for my date with Trixie."

Rainbow Dash, the light blue mare, pointed a hoof at Rex and laughed as she hovered over the recovering Scootaloo, "Haha, Trixie? As in Trixie Lulamoon kind of Trixie?"

Rex rose an eyebrow, or rather the area where an eyebrow should be, as he continued walking on, "Yes, that is her."

"What, is it your first date or something?" Rainbow Dash snorted in laughter.

Cobra Commander shook his head, "Third in fact."

Rainbow Dash gaped at the leader of Cobra, "Third!? How did that happen?" She flew past Scootaloo so that she was in front of Rex. After she matched his pace she pointed a hoof at his mask, "Are you blind or something under that mask? Any colt with half a brain would hide after meeting her!"

Rex shook his head, "Not I, miss Skittles. I find miss Lulamoon's presence quite lovely. Her extreme pretentiousness, her odd speech pattern and her hammy ways all are quite endearing as they remind me of myself."

Rainbow Dash frowned and crossed her arms, "Look bud, I think you should probably stay away from that crazy-" something behind Cobra Commander caught the attention of Rainbow Dash and she stopped talking to the stallion. He was confused by her gaping look at whatever was behind him, but the way she quickly put her hooves on her head and began saying, "Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!" quickly confused him more.

The stallion just watched as Rainbow Dash continued to say that same phrase over and over, but he had to admit it was a bit cute how she was acting goofy. But he didn't really like cute. No, that was for the good guys to like, "Cobra Commander demands you stop this insanely cute gibberish!"

Rainbow Dash shook out of her stupor and flew past the Cobra leader, "Yeah, yeah. Whatever. I'm going to go see Soarin'!"

Scootaloo ran after Rainbow Dash as the latter rushed to see the celebrity, who was picking up some pies from the Sugarcube corner where Pinkie Pie was stationed. Seeing the two depart made Cobra Commander groan in exasperation, "What is with the pony's in this town?"

Cobra Commander continued on through the town and came across the place where he and Trixie had agreed to meet. When the masked man was able to see her blue body and her white and light blue hair he picked up his pace. When he reached her he announced his arrival, "I am here finally-"

"Trixie!" A loud and exuberant voice called out. Right next to Trixie. Both Trixie and Cobra Commander turned to see Pinkie Pie, who had a party hat on for some reason.

Rex groaned and facehoofed, "No! Not you again! How did you even get here!?"

Pinkie Pie turned to look at Cobra Commander and laughed, "Hi Cobra Pony! Long time no see!"

Trixie rose an eyebrow as Cobra Commander began to reach unprecedented levels of exasperation. The exasperated pony groaned again at Pinkie Pie, "Auuuughh, I told you not to call me that!"

Now Pinkie Pie rose an eyebrow, legitimately confused despite having been the one to trick him earlier, "But you also told me to call you it. You're very confusing mister Snake."

The leader of Cobra shook his hooves at the pink mare, "It's Cobra Commander for Celestia's sake! C-O-B-R-A, C-O-M-M-A-"

Trixie placed a hoof on his shoulder to calm him down as she cut him off, "Dearest, Trixie believes that if the simple minded fool does not understand a simple request, spelling things out for her will not make it any easier for her."

Rex nodded back to Trixie, "I agree completely," he turned to face Pinkie Pie, "Please go away pink one."

The exuberant mare grinned and began to leave in her hopping manner, "Sure thing! I wouldn't want to interrupt anyone and their special some ponies, especially not when I can be throwing a party!"

Both Trixie and Cobra Commander were a little confused as to how Pinkie knew they were special some ponies since neither did anything overly romantic in public, but both shrugged it off. Neither had seen what exactly was on the Foal Free Press that day. The Great and Powerful Trixie's Secrets Revealed indeed.

The duo left their meeting spot to go and do something horses loved to do, rolling around in the grass like there is no tomorrow. Given the location of the Terrordrome, Trixie and Cobra Commander decided that they would roll around right outside of it. What better place to have fun with grass than a forest?

Trixie laughed as they tumbled about, not having had this much just plain and simple fun since she was a foal. Since she was a foal…

The magician stopped rolling for a moment and Rex bumped into her, "Trixie has decided that if she has foals, they will not end up like the airheads in Ponyville, like that Pink one and especially not that one with screwed up eyes. Or as bad as the foals Trixie keeps running into. Not only are they immature, there are some like that Rich family foal that is mean to everypony."

Rex nodded and laughed, "That is perfectly fine with me. I would never tolerate any child of mine acting that horridly."

Trixie narrowed her eyes at her coltfriend, "Woah, woah. A couple things. Why do you assume that your children will be my children? And also, aren't you a bit of a bad pony yourself?"

Cobra Commander rubbed his chin with a hoof, "You raise a good point…maybe I should be nicer to Destro since he does so much for Cobra…" he chuckled before continuing, "Nah! He's still dating my sister. And also, I apologize for how that came out. I merely meant that any children I have will be raised to treat others with the respect they deserve."

Trixie nodded, "Good, because Trixie did not want one to assume anything about her children, should she even ever have them."

"…"

"Trixie thinks it would be punny to name a daughter Ann A. Conda."

Rex chuckled and hugged Trixie, "I love the way you think."

The two resumed their fun rolling around for some more time, not growing tired of just relaxing and having fun. When it came to the point where they did stop though they ended up on their sides and facing each other. The two looked at each other happily, Trixie's eyes looking where she believed his to be while his looked into hers. After a moment of silence Trixie put a hoof on his helmet, "Trixie wishes to see your face."

Rex sighed sadly, "Why do you think I always wear this helmet? I don't want anyone seeing my face."

"But Trixie is curious," Trixie complained. Something that confused her was her next thing to ask about, "How do you see through the mask anyways?"

Cobra Commander chuckled a little, but was really not amused because of her previous request, "Trade secret my dear. You have your tricks, I have mine."

The magician sighed and shook her head as her horn began to glow, "Fine, Trixie will do this the hard way."

Rex rose what would be an eyebrow on a normal pony as the horn glowed, but then he saw what she was using the magic on. His helmet itself, "What? No!" He put his hoofs on top of the helmet to try and resist her attempt to remove it, "My mask!"

Trixie frowned as she continued trying to removed the object, "Stop struggling. I'm not going to judge you for what you look like."

As she managed to get the helmet off, Trixie noticed that she now had to remove a black facemask. She now focused on this as she dropped the helmet onto the ground. Rex continued to struggle as she removed the mask now, "Please, stop this! I am not fit for seeing!"

As Trixie removed the mask she gasped lightly, "Oh my…"

Rex stopped struggling and closed his eyes sadly, trying to fight tears, "You think I'm hideous, don't you?"

Trixie wrapped her hooves around him as she looked at his face. His horribly scarred, pale face that looked like it was in constant pain. Trixie whispered to him, "What happened to you, you poor thing?"

He pushed one of her hooves off of him, tears now going down his face, "Cobra Commander does not want your pity!"

Trixie put her hoof back where it had been and gave him a sympathetic look, "Does Rex?"

He tried turning his head away from her nervously, his eyes still closed and tearful, "No…"

Trixie leant her head on his chest, "What happened to you?"

He opened his eyes but kept them looking down and not into her eyes, "Before I was a villain, I served under Equestria's military…there was an incident of friendly fire that left me marred like this. I am in constant pain, but my mask feeds me some painkillers. It is why I have that high pitched voice most the time as well…"

Trixie gently stroked his back, "Why didn't you get it healed? I could try to do that for you if you want-"

Rex grunted as he remembered the past, "I wear it as a remembrance of what happened to me. The stupidity of my commanding officer led to my almost death and the deaths of many others. Incompetence like that is why things must change in Equestria!"

Trixie's horn activated again and the discarded helmet of Cobra Commander floated over to the stallion gently, "Here."

Rex blinked at the helmet for a moment before he took it into his hooves. Trixie guiltily looked at his chest as she continued, "I won't make you take your mask off if you don't want to now," she looked up at him and smiled, "Besides, Trixie can see her reflection quite nicely in it."

He put his mask back on, but not before the two kissed lip to lip.

(End)

A/N: Okay, for those who are curious

You can find the links to the original comic and the critique that inspired this in the long description of this.

Rex Lewis was the name of Cobra Commander in the recent (well, relatively) GI Joe film "The Rise of Cobra". In it he is the brother of the character Baroness, which is where that came from.

I spent a day looking for someone to pair with Trixie…I searched and searched and nothing struck me as a good fit. I gave up searching and started looking at other deviations. I found "The Perfect Stallion" and was having trouble keeping myself from bursting out loud. Then I read Kobrakin's continuation of it in his critique and I was a shipper. One week later, and here we are!

For those who did not know, horses roll around in grass. They actually do it. Pinkie Pie does in one episode. The creators really do pay attention to detail.

For those who look kind of hard, they can see a couple of my favorite pairings hidden in here. You could just check the groups I am a member of, but where is the fun in that? Since this is a pairing fic, I did not want to completely indulge in all my pairings as that would take away from the two I am trying to ship here. After all, a lot of different people ship a lot of different things and I would not want to upset anyone over a shipping I like that isn't even the focus of this story.

Still, you can find my shipping if you look. Hard. But if you have to look hard for it and you try to then you are going out of your own way to read into something, so I can't be fully blamed!

Because I like improving my writing, feedback and constructful criticism are very welcome! No flaming please though, especially not over the crossover nature of the comic nor the pairing. Shipping wars are so ugly.

I hope you all enjoyed and will leave me that feedback though!