Harmony and Heavy Metal

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

APPLEJACK!!!!!!!

The two screams rang out at the same time, reverberating around for a long moment before they died in infancy. Applejack hung there, violently attached to Eddies scrotum. Eddie had landed right next to her, scaring her to the moon. In the sudden rush of adrenalin, she had reverted to instinct and thought to attack Eddie, since he was to close for a buck, she resorted to a hard chomp to the closest thing that she could latch her jaw on. The five, Shining, and Celestia looked on as Eddie tried desperately to pull the mare of his manhood, screaming the whole time. Applejack, still on an adrenalin rush did not let go for reasons of survival that her brain still tried to process.

"Applejack! Let go of him, he is the one Celestia summoned!" Twilight yelled as she tried to pull Applejack off of Eddie with magic.

Fluttershy hid behind her mane, trying to separate herself from the situation as much as possible. The only thing Rarity could contemplate was the shades of black Eddie was wearing and why he would embarrass himself like that. Rainbow could not help but howl with laughter at the sight of the insane situation. And Pinkie Pie, for the usual reason of none whatsoever started yelling in unison with the metal head that stood next to her.

"WHY THE FUCK IS SHE LATCHED TO MY BALLS!!" Eddie yelled as he clasped his fists together, thinking of just bashing Applejack's skull in to finally end the pain.

"WAIT! She's only scared! Please don't hurt her!" Fluttershy yelled at Eddie, trying to save her friend anymore unnecessary pain.

Applejack then opened her eyes, finally realizing where she was and what just happened. It was not till now that she felt all the force trying desperately to pull her from whatever she had bit down on. She then heard some of her friends yelling at her to 'let go' of whatever she had chomped on.

"What am I biting anyway?" Applejack asked, her words were stifled by the thing in her mouth.

Eddies eyes felt like they would pop from his head from the weird combination of pleasure and agonizing pain that he suddenly felt combine. "WHY THE FUCK IS SHE TALKING INTO MY BALLS!!"

Applejack looked up to see the pained look the biped creature that she was latched too. She finally let go, making Eddie sigh in relief as he fell on his ass, still holding his balls in pain "What was that for?!" Eddie yelled at Applejack in anger.

"You dun scared the apple sauce out of me! I'm sorry if I hurt you, but a simple walk toward us would have been better than to pounce out of nowhere like that!" Applejack retorted, trying not to sound angry but to no avail.

"Alright, so you get scared easy, no need to fucking bite me!"

"Well... fine! I'm sorry I bit yall, now can you stop whining?"

"My legs feel fucking numb, it might be awhile before I could do that." Eddie said as he got up "Well... never mind."

Applejack looked at him, her cheeks now red from worry "What did I bit anyway?".

Eddie looked at her, trying to not wince anymore than he already had "My man-hood."

Applejack looked at him in confusion "Your what?"

Eddie looked at her with a face that said 'is she serious' while Celestia tried to translate it from their terminology to Eddies. Celestia's face suddenly contorted to a look of unease as she started to approach Applejack. Applejack looked at her princess with even more worry as she came to her slowly with her head lowered and blushed cheeks. Celestia slowly craned her head towards Applejack's ear, slowly whispering 'He meant his stallion-hood Applejack'.

Celestia nearly giggled as Applejack's face contorted to a look of regret and disgust, not only did she only know this creature for less that a minute, she had already hurt him in the worst way possible for a stallion... well, a man in this case.

"Now hopefully this is settled, welcome back my little ponies." Celestia said, trying to forget the event that just transpired,

All the mares in the group then all gave bows to Celestia, as they bowed, they could not help but notice the creature that stood next to Celestia. He stood there idly without a care for what was going on, he only smiled at the six, waiting for some sort of introduction.

First impressions were to say the least, very unusual. "Well, now that this shit is out of the way. The names Eddie, Eddie Riggs."

All six looked on at Eddie, he was a tall, long haired man that wore a large amount of denim and black fabric that was adorned with the occasional nickle stud or spike. He seemed to be unusually happy, even for the very depressing attire that he wore. Eddie held out his hand in an attempt to get a better response, but after a brief moment of self-scolding for remembering that they had hoofs and not hands, he quickly closed his palm and balled it into a fist, his hairy knuckles had the faint smell of blood that lingered around them.

Pinkie for some reason quickly wrapped herself around Eddies extended arm, her tail wagging as she asked several incoherent questions that seemed to just make the metal head want to scratch her behind the ear, which Eddie promptly did. Pinkie's tongue started to bob out of her mouth in joy. Eddie got a slight smile at the sight of the over joyed mare.

The rest looked on with a worried yet relived expressions, how he acted with Pinkie reassured the rest that he at least would not start to randomly get mad at even the most random of antics. Rainbow Dash was quick to return the bro-fist-hoof combo. She felt his beefy yet somehow muscular fingers lightly vibrate from Pinkies random shakes.

"Hello mister Riggs, my name is Twilight Sparkle." Twilight said as she also placed her hoof on Eddies knuckles "This is Applejack."

"Howdy." Applejack said as she tipped her hat.

"This here is Rarity."

"Charmed." Rarity said as she raised her head.

"This is Rainbow Dash."

"Hey, fastest flyer in Equestria here." Rainbow said as she placed a hoof on her chest.

"The one on your arm is Pinkie Pie." Twilight said as she chuckled as Pinkie jumped from his arm and placed her hoof on his knuckles.

"And finally, the one behind Rainbow Dash is Fluttershy." Twilight said as she walked over to the two mares "Come on Fluttershy, he won't bite." Twilight said trying to coax Fluttershy to come from behind Rainbow. She only gave a hollow shaking of her head. She looked up at the biped, shaking in her hoofs. Twilight slowly pushed Fluttershy by her back toward Eddie, who still held out his fist in an attempt to greet them to his best of abilities.

She slowly looked up at him in a near violent vibration that followed meeting his eyes, she could not help but run all the violent scenarios in her head, just like whenever she was meet with a new type of creature that wasn't small and fluffy. As fast as lightning, she placed her hoof on Eddies knuckles and brought it back down as to not invoke a response from Eddie.

To Fluttershy's surprise, the only thing Eddie did was scratch his forehead in confusion "What the hell touched my fist?".

Fluttershy squeaked and ran back behind Rainbow in a moments notice. Eddie looked on in confusion, he had never meet anything that would shy away so quickly 'That explains the name I guess.' Eddie thought with a shrug.

"Don't mind her, she well warm up to yall eventually." Applejack said as she turned to Eddie.

"Yeah, shes really shy around new ponies... or whatever you are." Rainbow said as she flew up, revealing the trembling Fluttershy, her face buried in her hoofs.

Eddie looked at her for a second, and thought to himself 'If this place gets me diabetes, Ophelia will kill me.' Eddie then gave a heavy sigh and walked over to the trembling mess. He slowly crouched next to her and stared to run his hand through her mane, careful not to startle her.

Fluttershy's eyes shot open, the sudden contact for some reason comforted her, the warm soft skin slowly caressing her. But what happened next made her reconsider the violent thoughts she had on Eddie. Both of Eddies hands shot out at Fluttershy, tickling her happily as she willingly giggled away at the sudden sensation.

The rest looked on with relieved confusion, not only was Fluttershy seeming to enjoy herself, they did not think Eddie would do that. Eddie turned to the rest and looked at there grinning yet confused faces, he got up from the giggling mare "What? This always makes Ophs feel better after some crazy shit. I just thought it was like that for all women."

"What sort of name is Ophs?" Rainbow asked with a hoof on her forehead.

"Its a nick name for my girlfriend Ophelia." Eddie said with a grin.

"Oh, a mare friend?" Rarity said now curious 'How could he have gotten a mare friend wearing that?' is all she could think for the next few seconds.

"Well now my little ponies, now that you have all gotten acquainted, lets get down to business." Celestia said as she motioned the group to sit at the table.

"Shining! How good it is to see you." Twilight said as she ran up to Shining and gave him a hug.

"Hey Twiliy, good to see you, how have you been." Shining said as he returned the hug.

Celestia looked at the touching scene with a smile, but knew she had to break it up for more serious business "Now then, let us get to work. I hope you all have meet Eddie with a warm regard." Celestia said as she turned to Eddie who was idly sipping away at his beer "He will be our chief commander for our war with the changelings. And, you all will have the privilege of visiting his home worlds as he prepares his army."

"Yeah, any questions before we go, I don't want any fainting or dying on me." Eddie said as he threw the empty beer bottle over his shoulder.

"I have some questions Mister Riggs." Twilight said as she pulled out a large scroll from her mane.

Eddie looked at the paper, a sudden feeling of dread at the size of it. He could admit that his patience was short, and for a list that size, he knew that he was in for a ride.

Twilight asked each question, feeling Eddies waning patience get more and more angered as time went on, she started to feel hesitant as to most of the questions. Most of the responses consisted of 'I tried not to get my head cut off' or 'You will find out when we get there' and the one she dreaded the most 'And then he exploded in a bloody fire pile'. The rest stared on at the questions Twilight asked, most of them were completely trivial, but the ones that worried them the most were the questions revolving around war. Twilight had expected them to be violent, but never this bad.

"So there I was, driving Deuce around in circles, trying to rip its tongues as it tried to eat me. The breath smelled like what I think was a horrible combination of shit and that crap that sticks to the sides of Deuce when I drive through the swamp. Anyway, so I ran over this things tongues, it just sort of gave up. So then I went over to Ophelia back at the gate, and right fucking there, I was about to get lucky. But the fucking thing had to come back and ruin it for me, so to get back at it by dropping the gate on its neck, nearly decapitating the thing. But somehow the fucker was still going for me, so I slashed it a couple times with my axe until it sort of died." Eddie then took in a breath after the long explanation to a question he could not even remember "So does that answer your question, whatever it was?".

Twilight looked at Eddie, her jaw nearly slapping the table "What does that have to do with what sort of government you have?!"

Eddie shrugged "We have none, next."

Twilight looked back at her scroll, looking to were she had left off "I don't have any more questions, how long have we been here?"

"Four hours to be exact, those were some interesting responses you gave Mister Riggs." Celestia said as she gave a worried smile with her brow raised.

"I try, now that I answered everything on her list, why don't you all tell me about yourselves." Eddie said as he thought up some of his own questions.

"What would you like to know?" Rarity asked, trying not to sound disgusted by the last four hours of unnecessary information.

Eddie tried to think of some sort of question on the spot, but could not think of much "Well... what do you think your time in the Land of Heavy Metal will be like."

All six of the mares thought for a second, before coming up with their responses.

"AWESOME!"

"Dreadful"

*eep*

"Alright I guess."

"Super duper Fun!"

"Hopefully very informative."

Eddie looked at them, they all looked hesitant to the thought of going 'Was it something I said?'.

"Well, I guess that we could wrap this up now, I will have some guards show you to your respective rooms for the night. And I hope you all have brought some of your belongings with you, you will remain with Mister Riggs for three days and nights and we can't any under prepared ponies going with him."

All six mares then gave a bow as they said "Right!" in unison as they left the room.

Now only Shining, Celestia, and Eddie remained "Do you think that they will survive your land Edward?"

"Yeah, from what you told me, I can think that they could kick some ass when they need to." Eddie said in a reassuring tone.

"You better hope that Twiliy doesn't get hurt, or you will be sorry." Shining said with worry for his sister.

"No problem, my road crew and I know how to take care of things like this. No big deal." Eddie said, followed by a yawn. "Well, I guess we could call it a night, I got to sleep sometime."

"Right then, we could all use some rest after today's events." Celestia said with a yawn of her own "Luna should be raising the moon soon either way, so it would be best if we retired to our rooms." Celestia said as she rose from the small chair that she sat on.

"Yeah, i'm gonna go talk to Twilight about something before I go to bed. See you two in the morning." Shining replied as he got up from his chair.

The room suddenly went silent as the three departed to their rooms for the night. And to their unruly ignorance, the only soul that stayed in the room was the one thing that they dreaded be in the castle. The disguised changeling quickly flew up and out through the closest window to tell his queen of the most recent news revolving around the royal affairs of the castle. Little did he know that this piece of information would cause the worst turn of events for Equestria.

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