The Robbery of the Canterlot Mint

Twilight, Moon Dancer, and an entourage of ponies all ran into a certain section of Canterlot. This was known as “The Teal Quarter,” because every roof on every home was coated in a certain pristine turquoise paint. It had been an architectural choice by the first designer that ever built there, and the next builders were so impressed by it that they all decided to make every home just like that. If you moved there or built there, you had to sign an agreement stating that you would never try to paint over your house’s roof or make it a different color. Some ponies had complained to Twilight about it, and she said she would hear them out in court, but she had been incredibly busy. Seeing the blue roofs made her blush in embarrassment, and she made a mental note to help the complainers as soon as possible.

But for now, the group had more important things to worry about. “Alright, everypony, listen up!” Twilight said, “we’re looking for Fuchsia Gallop, and we believe her to be accompanied by an accomplice. These ponies are considered magically armed and dangerous. Even though they are inexperienced when it comes to incognito spells and the like, they could still be lethal if they shoot you in the right manner. Remember, safety is our number one priority! Now, then, you’ve all been split up into teams. Teams One, Two, and Three will search the east side of the quarter, and Four, Five, and Six will search the west. Let’s move, ponies!”

The six teams quickly divided and went to search their assigned area. Team One consisted of Applejack and Rarity, Team Two was Pinkie and Fluttershy, and Team Three had Rainbow Dash and Starlight Glimmer. These six ponies made their way from home to home, knocking on doors and asking about Fuchsia. Their search seemed deader than the driest of bones until they pounded on the next to last door. “Open in the name of Her Royal Highness, Princess Celestia!” Starlight shouted authoritatively.

Suddenly, the door swung open and there stood a middle aged mare. Her coat was a rather dull shade of blue and her mane was bright orange. The contrast between the two stunned and confused everypony. She seemed to take notice, for her tired red eyes suddenly darted back and forth between them. She yawned a bit. “So sorry I took so long to get here,” she said kindly, “but I mistook your first knocks for the trees hitting my home. Anyway, what can I do for you?”

“Ma’am,” Applejack said, “we’re here representin’ the princesses and the very law itself. Have y’all ever heard of somepony named Fuchsia Gallop?”

“Fuchsia?!” The pony replied, “you mean the kind and sweet pony that lives here? Of course I’ve heard of her! She brought me cookies the other day after learning that I broke my hoof.”

She pointed downward and everypony saw the cast on her right hind leg. They immediately felt sorry for rushing the injured pony, and silently agreed to be gentler about their interrogation. “I’m so sorry to see that you’re hurt,” Starlight said compassionately, “my name’s Starlight Glimmer, and I’m a personal friend of Her Majesty, Princess Twilight. If there’s anything I or the princess can do to help, you just name it.”

“Why thank you kindly, Ms. Glimmer,” the pony replied as she smiled, “but I’m doing alright. It was a simple misstep on the stairs that led to this predicament. But the doc says I’m healing just as well as can be expected. I don’t think I’ll need any other help. But, thanks just the same…”

…Meanwhile, in another home in The Teal Quarter, a fight was raging. Three ponies were screaming so loud that the glass in every window in the home was close to shattering. Their voices overlapped as they cursed and insulted each other. Their small plan for revenge on Celestia and Twilight had been foiled by one of their own, and now their alliance was imploding from within.

“YOU PIECE OF HORSE SHIT!” The first pony, a mare named Pearl Hoof, cried out, “HOW COULD YOU?! YOU WENT IN WITH YOUR WEDDING RING ON?! YOU BITCH!”

“I DIDN’T MEAN FOR IT TO FALL OFF,” the second pony, Fuchsia Gallop, defended herself, “BUT YOU! LEAVING MAGIC RESIDUE FOR ALL THE WORLD TO FIND! I DON’T THINK I’M THE ONLY DUMBASS IN THIS GROUP!”

“WILL THE TWO OF YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP?!” The third pony, a stallion and the leader of the ruffians, screamed, “I need this time to think of a backup plan! We have all the money we need, but what we don’t have is a chained Celestia! We can’t absolve the royal government and rule Equestria with iron hooves without a chained Celestia! UGH! Fuchsia, how could you have left your wedding ring there?!”

Fuchsia, a very pretty pony with blue eyes and a dark purple coat, snorted at him. “Oh, shut up, you pathetic waste of space. I did what I had to, and that was disguise myself as Celestia and help break into the vault. I accomplished my mission! Did you…....Common Law?!”

“Of course I did! I blasted that moronic ruler in court!” The crooked attorney said, “she should’ve been on her way to The Pony Penitentiary to live out the rest of her days, or worse! UGH! But that piece of garbage, Twilight, just had to admit your wedding ring, Fuchsia Gallop!”

Fuchsia gritted her teeth as she prepared to get physical. She bunched her muscles together and gave Common Law a horrific look. She screamed and charged…

…Twilight and her team sat with very bored looks on their faces. They had run into Magnifying Glass, a pony obsessed with mysteries and everything to do with them. He was generally a kind, friendly soul, but he was in the middle of talking their ears off about his latest novel. He was telling them the tale of “Grass Roots and the Movement of Madness,” and his descriptions were very…er…descriptive.

“Look, Magnifying Glass,” Twilight said, “I hate to interrupt, but we need to ask you something.”

“Of course, my dear Princess!” The writer/private investigator said, “anything you want to know, I’m willing to give.”

“Do you know a Fuchsia Gallop?”

Suddenly, Magnifying’s face turned pale. His voice dropped from its high pitched excitement and became low with nervousness and fright. His eyes shrank to the size of the average gnat, and his teeth chattered. His knees knocked and his mane seemed to stand on end. “F…f…f…Fuchsia…Gallop?”

“Yes, sir,” Twilight said politely, but with concern.

He suddenly rose from his chair and trotted to the window. He seemed to stare at a certain house just a few streets over. “Yes, I know her. I also know what she does when nopony else is looking.”

“And…what’s that?”

“She’s a thief and a hoarder, Princess Twilight,” Magnifying said, “I once saw her steal the last blanket off of a shivering pony. I’ve also seen her steal cookies from foals and food from older ponies. She’s also something of a con artist, Your Majesty. She’s run an illegitimate business here in the quarter for many years and taken advantage of many a pony. She’s a greedy, awful pony who uses her smile and pretty looks to bind ponies in the aesthetic without knowing what the substance truly is.”

“Why haven’t you reported these things?” Moon Dancer asked from her spot next to Twilight.

“I was going to, but then word got around to her that I was and she threatened to kill me. I just…I was scared for my life!”

He bent down and began weeping. Twilight got up and placed a compassionate hoof on his shoulder, assuring him that he was going to be alright. She needed him to keep a straight face and a straight mind if they were ever going to find Fuchsia and her accomplice. “Listen,” she said, “you never need to be afraid to tell somepony if something’s wrong. But tell me, were you looking at her home?”

He nodded, and Twilight smiled at him. “Thank you,” she said, “you just cracked this case for us. All of Equestria shall honor you for your honesty and integrity.” She hugged him and turned to the rest of the princesses and police ponies who were with her. “Alright, everypony! Let’s go lock up the bad ponies!”