“This is so… so… stupid.” Judgment complained, sitting on the back of an abandoned wagon we found in the rear of the library, trying to avoid touching the spark breeder battery.

“I don’t disagree.” Melody said, checking her riot shotgun.

“Yeah, I’m not a fan either, but its probably our best bet.” I said, back in my armor, crudely repaired.

“Wait, if all of us don’t like it, why are we doing it?” Judgment asked.

“Because I probably have a few days before infection sets in and I’m bedridden, we’re running low on food and water since the library was eaten clean by whoever hid there from the bombs, and I don’t think any of us are smart enough to figure out how to make it past all the Specters and back out. And we don’t know how effective whatever the alchemy did is at keeping Specters away from you.” I said. “We’re hitting the deadline quickly.”

Judgment nodded slowly, and screwed her face up in forced resolve.

Melody used her magic to flick a switch and open up the delivery entrance, letting light onto the weapons cache the Brotherhood of Steel had abandoned there. Few laser rifles, a few mines, plasma pistol, and a fucking balefire egg launcher, with a half dozen eggs.

None of us had felt comfortable enough with energy weapons to replace our main arsenal, and I really really didn’t feel comfortable with the mildly radioactive balefire egg launcher. Didn’t feel like knocking down buildings. I idly wondered what somepony would think about the eggs just being left out, rather than packed away in their protective foam.

Well, no time like the present. I thought, and started hauling the wagon forward, along the route Melody was double checking against the map, towards Equestrian Steel. Thankfully, it was heading generally towards the Stable-Tech building, even if the library had taken us in the wrong direction. Guess being in the middle of a bunch of steel mills meant that negotiations for the Stables was easier.

The streets were... dirty. Everywhere else, the streets had been cleaned, cleared of rubble that could be used as cover. Here, the streets were littered with rusted wagon wrecks, concrete barriers, piles of skeletons. All left alone except by rain.

Occasionally, I could spot the occasional streak of smeared red, where somepony had been dragged through their own blood.

“Keep a lookout.” I said nervously, and probably unnecessarily. Judgment was on edge, trying to take everything in at once, aided by a pack of Mint-als, Melody was trying to do close range, and I was supposed to be the secret weapon. Though, not sure if the Specters were sapient, so keeping something secret wasn’t necessarily necessary. But still better to be paranoid.

I kept pulling the wagon, trying to get a feel for the strange half step I needed to do to keep my balance on three legs. The tourniquet seemed to be holding, and Judgement had rigged the battle saddle to work properly, but it was still taking a lot of attention to not trip and fall.

"You ok, Red?" Judgement asked from the wagon.

I took a deep breath, and tried to blink the dirt out of my eyes. "Yeah." OK, you can still move, you're still functional. Keep going. Deal with this later.

It was harder than I expected, pushing through the rubble. Stuff kept getting caught in the spokes. Still, as long as it wasn't from the other wagons, it wasn't too hard to force. Though the snap of breaking bone echoed ominously throughout the urban canyon.

It was strangely hushed, aside from that. The sound of gunfire had died down from after we had pushed the Colts out.

I kept walking, and a familiar smell wafted by. I wanted to panic, to run away, just like I had all those times getting to the library. I looked back, and Judgement and Melody were looking around frantically.

Swallowing, I controlled myself, and focused on keeping moving. After two kilometers of walking past the Specters and being fine, we were hoping that we wouldn't be bothered now.

...still one had nearly killed me before, and I'd barely been able to do anything back. And it had only stopped after I'd bled everywhere. I shook my head, took another deep breath, and kept moving.

The smell of rotting mint was going from a hint to a presence, definitely there and getting stronger.

A few minutes later, Judgment hissed “Ok on the right. It's… flickering? In my E.F.S. It can’t get a solid lock.”

“Ok, ignore it as long as it doesn’t attack.” I replied, trying to figure out how to go faster than my slow three-legged walk.

“It’s gone.” Judgment said a few seconds later. “Vanished back up the street. This might be working.”

“Melody, you have the Jet ready?” I asked, taking a left. She muttered something that sounded like an affirmative. The journey continued. Rotting mint thickening into a presence, then Judgment would find one of them on her EFS. It would linger for a few seconds then vanish. Once we made it to the steel mill, we’d have to split up.

Eventually, we reached the steel mill in question. The doors were locked, and they were properly installed for once. Damnit. There was a large rolling door nearby, would be more than big enough for all of us and the wagon.

"Any idea how we can get through here?" Melody asked, looking at the featureless metal sheeting.

"Chainsaw?" I offered. She shook her head.

"Could we levitate it up? Could Red lift it?" Judgement asked.

I grimaced. It was hard enough standing up on three legs. Wasn't sure if I could actually grip the metal and push. Still no use in not trying. Getting onto my haunches, I tried to worm my way underneath...

"Red!" Melody said. "I smell mint."

"Alright, working." I replied, my hoof fumbling at the crack.

"Goddesses, what the fuck is that thing?!" Melody screamed, firing behind us. Uncontrolled panic fire. Not going to hit anything, but might keep something away. Judgement wheeled around, and started firing too. Controlled, good. "Get the door open! Use your fucking chainsaw!"

Ears ringing, it took me a few seconds to realize realize what she meant, but I got it soon enough.

“Steel sheet metal, meet tungsten carbide.” I said, revving the chainsaw. A few swings later, and a fuck ton of sparks, I'd cut a triangle into the grate. Judgement and Melody hopped out and darted through, while I started pulling the wagon along as quickly as I could.

"Contact!" One of them shouted, as I ducked my head through. More panic fire.

"Take a fucking Steady if you can't stay calm!" I shouted at Melody, though I didn't immediately see her. I looked around wildly.

Melody and Judgment were in the corner of the room, Judgment firing with Mint-al improved accuracy, while Melody moving with that crispness of a Jet induced high, still huffing from a Steady dispenser. Both were blasting at a Specter as it tried to dart in and kill them.
It paused, hiding behind cover, as Melody and Judgment reloaded in turn. 30 meters from me, full view. Time to try it out. I aimed my flamethrower and triggered it, shooting a good three second spurt.

I couldn’t see through the spray but Judgment yelled “Specter down!” I stopped spraying.

What remained of the Specter was thrashing on the ground, it's lean form becoming distorted as tumors grew inside its body. Thank the goddesses that guess was right.

so I kept pulling the wagon towards a ramp heading down into the maintenance spaces. Melody and Judgment ran together, heading up a flight of stairs towards a series of gantries, towards the overmare’s booth. Thank you architecture plans.

Planning to get to the mill hadn’t exactly been smooth, we were really hoping that the Specters would just ignore us thanks to whatever mutation made me taste bad, but I definitely felt more comfortable about actions inside. Melody and Judgment would get to the controls. I would sabotage the fast-breeder battery and get it ready to switch in the generator below. They turn off the mill, I switch them, then they restart. Radiation levels tick upwards until the breeder battery dies, which should be in a couple centuries. Still not sure if one factory is enough for the entire city, but should be enough to be able to get us to the Stable-Tech building.

So, wait until the Specters leave, or die, or whatever, go to the building, grab the AI, and get the hell out. Should be easy.

I kept moving, bringing the wagon with me into the maze of pipes underneath the mill. At the center was the powerplant for the entire building. I wasn’t really sure of a good maze solving algorithm, so I stuck with trying to go up and right in about even amounts.

Dead end. Loop. Dead end. I hate mazes. I thought, trying to drag a wagon through what was clearly designed for much smaller pony traffic. Which gave me an idea.

I dropped down and tried to get a clear view through the pipes.

Jackpot. At normal pony height, little signs pointing through the maze. Obviously designed to make it easier for maintenance ponies to get to what they needed. Left, right, left, left, right. I followed the signs, and rapidly headed towards the center.

Going around two pillars, the actual forges sticking through to above, I ended up at a complex looking mass of wires and terminals, with a large battery in the middle. Looks like it. I pulled on a few knots within mouth range, quick releases we rigged up since I couldn’t undo the buckles on my own.

I tugged out “The Simple Sabotage Field Manual” and flipped it to the bookmarked page. Ok… this shouldn’t be too hard.

A few minutes of fumbling later, I was wishing for telekinesis or hands. Or even another leg. Still not as if- Ok, the mill turned off, so I was the one slowing stuff down now. And I started smelling a lot of mint.

“RED!” Judgment, I think, shouted. I took a deep breath, trying not to fumble or fuck up. Gunshots weren’t helping me stay calm. Fuck, they’re being attacked. I thought, than banished it. Me freaking out wouldn’t help anything.

Pop this off, break off this connector, pull out this gem, and should be done. I finished disabling the filter, thankful for the practice on the Brotherhood of Steel’s weapon cache. Somepony would be really happy when they found that cache of field overcharged battery packs. Unlatching the old battery, it popped out, and I shoved the new one in, locking it into place.

“IT’S IN!” I shouted, and turned tail, abandoning the wagon in the maze. Less than a minute later, several I got back upstairs and gagged on the smell of rotting mint. Whatever it was, the mill shutting down, the gunfire, or the smell of ponies, a near army of Specters had shown up. Looked like Judgment was keeping them at bay, they seemed to be wary of well aimed automatic fire, but that wouldn’t last forever.

If you took styrofoam, and put it into alcohol or gasoline, the styrofoam would dissolve, making the fuel into a jelly. If you took something and put it near a radioactive source for long enough, elements inside that material would eventually become radioactive. If you took styrofoam that had been holding radioactive balefire eggs for 50 or so years and used that to jellify alcohol, what did you get? A flamethrower fuel that burns hotter, shoots further, and is radioactive.

Fuck you Specters!

I started shooting, spraying radioactive flames across the entirety of the entrance, reaching a good 65 meters, most of the way to the other wall. Didn’t want to let the Specters just tear their way through. One full tank down, and there was a solid wall of flame that was probably making Judgment’s Pip-Buck tick.

It certainly wasn’t agreeing with my lungs.

Coughing, I walked towards the flames, trying to pop in a new tank. I heard something from the control room, but couldn’t make it out. Still, the growing roar of air being forced through the forges meant that the system was back online and drawing from the damaged spark breeder cell. Probably. Fuck, I wish I had a radio or something.

Beyond the flames, the Specters were darting to and fro, probing the radioactive fire. I let off a few short blasts, keeping them back and recovering a few parts that were starting to burn down. Alcohol, good for incineration, not good for area denial, burns far too quickly. Seeing the wall sputter and die, I started spraying at specific Specters, just covering wherever they were near. Not very smart, are they? I thought as I trapped one against a wall. Then it started climbing, its claws easily sinking through the concrete. Fuck…

I looked up, and saw a number of broken windows, fallen masonry, and a sagging roof.

Not sure how to deal with that. The flamer wouldn’t shoot that far, and hitting them with a bolt action rifle wasn’t going to be easy. Unpredictable targets and a slow rate of fire wasn’t ideal. And it wasn’t as if I had that much ammo. Only…. fifteen shots. Great. Fan-fucking-tastic.

The plan was for Melody and Judgment to finish restarting the mill and remove the filters, just in case they hadn’t deteriorated entirely, then all three of us would retreat until the radiation level was high enough that we would be safe. But we’d sort of counted on a clear place to hide out. They’d need to find it and get me. In the meantime, I had a horde of Specters to deal with.

The fire had burnt down enough that I could see through the smoke. A few Specters were darting around, but mist had vanished. I kept flicking between the metal cargo door and the damaged roof.

Please don’t just tear through. I thought, as nervous leg twitches kept flicking my battle saddle between flamer and rifle, roughly in time with my darting eye.

“TARGET!” I shouted, a Specter appeared in one of the windows. Flicked to the rifle, took a breath and shot. It roared and disappeared back through the window. Didn’t see blood, and I was hoping that a .50 caliber round would tear them in two, but, well, take what you’ll get. At least it made them retreat. I automatically worked the action.

Something made me turn around, and I saw a Specter practically flying towards the Overmare’s room. I shot again, and it froze, lips curling back from the too pony face, fangs practically glowing from the flames. Don’t move. I thought, flicking over to flamer. It bunched up, preparing to launch itself at me, when I got the flamer online. It leaped, and met a spray of radioactive flame going in the other direction. Screaming, it started beating at itself, seeming to dissolve where the jellied alcohol stuck. I belatedly realized that I should have moved to the side and tried to jump. Partial success, rather than hitting me full on, the Specter crashed into me like a freight train, and sent me spinning.

“Yep, that’s a broken bone.” I said to myself, one of my rear legs wasn’t responding, and I really didn’t want to look. Ok, if do this, I can spin. If I kick like that, I can change, and I can still shoot. Mobility kill doesn’t mean out of the fight.

I nodded to myself, and rotated to face the door. Oh, that’s where it clawed through. I thought idly, looking at a hunk of concrete torn out of the wall. I sprayed a burst at it, hoping the lingering radioactivity would dissuade any other Specters from that specific direction.

Wait… I realized that I hadn’t made sure that Specter was dead. I hurriedly spun in place and saw the Specter, eyes narrowed and angry. It was slowly rising, its flesh cratered by the fire. It looked off balance and wrong, so I finished the job. Ash piles only can look off balance, not wrong. My brain shoved the image of too small ash piles to the forefront of my brain, and I gagged. Would have vomited if there was more in my stomach. Yeah, shouldn’t joke about that.

Leaving the burning corpse behind me, trying to ignore the smoke and persistent cough, I turned to the door, just in time to see a Specter pause by the guttering flames. It darted across just in time to get a full blast in the face. This one started screaming in pain and batting at itself. I held down the trigger until it stopped moving.

Running out of fuel quickly. I thought, changing to another canister, pressing the canister between my leg and my body, twisting uncomfortably to make it work. Really regretting that initial flame blast. Need more fuel.

And it continued.

It wasn’t so much that I was keeping the Specters back, I just made it so that going inside wasn’t something they were willing to do. Bursts of fire drove them back, except for the few stupid enough to hang around. Rifle fire kept them off the roof. Still, I was exchanging ammo for seconds. The flamer ran dry. The rifle followed shortly after. All the while, the radiation level kept ticking up. Definitely enough to make the Specters feel off, but they weren’t dissolving like the ones I hit with the radioactive napalm.

Tugging with my teeth against the the straps, I dropped the battle saddle on the ground. Only weapon that still worked was the chainsaw, which I hooked onto my armor.

Alright, maybe a hundred meters. You can do this. You've dealt with worse. I reassured myself, looking at the distance, littered with scrap metal, broken glass, and other debris.

No use putting it off. I gritted my teeth, and lifted myself with my forelimb, scrabbling with my rear limb to make it slightly easier. I heaved, and landed, suppressing a scream. Leg and burnt flesh. Not a good combination. And I'd moved maybe 20 centimeters.

Fuck this. Heave, scrabble, land.

I shouldn't be here. Heave, scrabble, land. Jagged scrap metal tore through my bandages, and I started bleeding on the floor.

Fuck me with Celestia's forehooves. Heave, scrabble, land.

I Heave, scrabble, land. Glass crunched underneath me, and I could feel the pressure against my ribs. I refused to look at it.

SHOULDN'T Heave, scrabble, land. Slid out on a pile of spent brass Judgement left behind. The glass shards shattered again. I could hear whistling, and breathing started getting harder.

BE Heave, scrabble, land.

HERE Heave, scrabble, land.

Panting, I looked at the stairs, blinking tears of pain and frustration out of my eyes.

Fuck it. I'm already dead. My body just refuses to admit it. I gritted my teeth and pushed. Heave, scrabble, land. Heave, scrabble, land. Heave, scrabble, land. FUCK

I snarled and planted one leg up, heaving myself into a nearly standing position, leaning against the banister, looking up at the three flights of stairs.

"I HATE STAIRS!" I screamed into the uncaring air. Alright, front leg. Rear leg. lean. Just keep doing it. Can't be worse than that.

I dragged myself up into the catwalks, placing myself between the outside and the other two, chainsaw at the ready. Like that would make a fucking difference.

I waited, seemed like Specters were gathering around the door. Several darted trough as a group, making a beeline towards the stairs. They shied away from the foundries, guess the radiation was high enough there, and flowed up the gantries towards me. As they climbed through the cloud of radioactive smoke filling the upper half of the room, their jerkiness changed. Rather than being intimidating and a byproduct of speed and control, it seemed like something was hurting them.

Good, I’ve been coughing up blood here for the last five minutes, something else ought to suffer. Spots of bright red covered the wall and my muzzle. Lungs really didn’t like radioactivity.

Still, they kept coming, and I revved my chainsaw to meet the first one. It raised its claws to swipe, and I tried to catch it on the chainsaw’s body. Which worked. What didn’t work was that they cut right through the casing, breaching the industrial strength spark battery, which exploded.

I landed against a guard rail, and heard something crack. Ears ringing, head musty, I couldn't focus. My ears and nose felt wet, and I tried to figure out what was still working.

These combat chemicals are good stuff, I thought, as I lay in a crumpled heap. Can’t even feel my leg anymore.

I looked behind me, every vertebrae aching like it had been pounded with a ball-peen hammer.

Oh… that’s not good.

My back was twisted around the rail. Serious spinal injury. And the blast caved in my chestplate. I couldn't cough, only gasp. The blast had shredded other parts of my armor.

Oh, that’s what a spleen looks like.

I tried moving my legs.

Nope.

My foreleg.

Ok, that’s broken too.

The radiation seemed to be really ramping up. My eye made out the Specter shambling and falling apart as it tried to flee. I tried to blink the blood out of my eye, but it was running faster than I could fix. I gave up and kept my eye closed.

My face feels mushy.

I thought after a few minutes of waiting to see what would kill me first, radiation, blood loss, or shock. The shock seemed less likely as time went on, and it looked like the super restoration potion had regenerated my clotting factors, so, death by radiation. Great. This seemed more likely when my face fell off. Guess it was already weakened by being torn half off to the bone, and the radiation weakened the rest of the connective tissues. Just slid off, held on by a couple tendons in my neck.

Now I couldn't keep my eyes closed.

I buried my face in my foreleg, trying to ignore the spreading mushy feeling. Trying to fall asleep. Trying to let it end.
It felt pretty peaceful, except for the gasping. And the dripping blood. And the roar of the mill.

I’ve been meaning to learn inner peace anyway I thought, before falling into a shock.

An eternity later, I heard something, couldn’t make out what, even the mill was muffled. A telekinetic field surrounded me and lifted me off the ground, causing most of my remaining exposed skin to slide to the ground with a wet thump. I couldn’t see where they were taking me. Eye stopped working properly.

Eventually, I came to a stop on something more forgiving than a metal gantry. I felt more than heard an argument, Well, I felt the screaming, the back and forth, then several pinpricks into my neck.

Lines of fire radiated from those pinpricks, filling my entire body with an unholy, cold rage. I snorted, flinging clotted blood everywhere, and smelt food in front of my face. Lots of food. Suddenly, I was starving, I needed to gorge myself until I burst. I started eating. I didn’t stop.

***

An eon later, I became aware of a breeze. It felt nice, going over my entire coat, soothing.

Wait, a breeze? I jerked up from where I was laying and looked around wildly. Open ground, all around. GET TO COVER!

My brain felt like it was packed with cotton, it was hard to process. Wait, my coat?

“Red!” somepony hugged me hard, I blinked trying to refocus my eyes. Wait…

“Judgment? Why am…. What hap… The fuck?” I stammered out trying to process too much. Wagon, Melody, Judgment, two someponys in power armor, missing my battle saddle, heading towards a line of mountains. I was… fuck. “MELODY!” I shouted.

“Red… try to calm down.”

“Melody, there is one thing I’ve been telling you not to do since we met. I should be dead. Something doesn’t add up.”

“Well, erm… I sort of told Judgment that, and she said that… well, she decided that since this quest was helping her, and you weren’t in a position to say no… well…”

I fell back onto the pile of supplies and muttered “I don’t even get to choose my own death...” Melody and Judgment exchanged a glance, both confused and worried. “Alright, thanks for saving me. I guess. If we’re not in Fillydalphia, I’m guessing Stable-Tech was good?”

“Yeah, that’s how we met these two, actually.”

“Paladin Celery Salt, at your service.” The pony pulling the wagon said, “That’s Paladin Pot Shot.” She nodded at the pony to our flank, apparently acting as a guard.

“Why are they helping us?”

“Well, they came to investigate the sudden rise in radiation. After we gave them the recon team’s research, they called for reinforcements and helped us clear Stable-Tech. Sounds like the Brotherhood of Steel is making big moves into Fillydalphia.” Melody replied.

Judgment piped in, “DJ Pon3 has been talking all about us on the radio. We’re heroes for getting rid of the Colts and saving Equestria from the Specters. Sounds like a few other groups are doing the same with other steel mills, so the Specters will only be able to live in the subways. Shouldn't be hard to clear those! Just spray rad goop down there or something. ”

“Huh, sounds like I missed a lot.”

“You were… distracted. Not surprising, considering how many injections you needed to heal up.” Melody said. “I used up everything I had in my medical kit, and most of what I hid in the wagon.”

“Please don’t talk about that. How long was I out?”

“About four days. And out isn’t right. You were very energetic.” Judgment giggled.

I reflexively grimaced and felt my stomach turn. I didn’t want to think about the implications.

***

The rest of the trip was pretty boring. Judgment was trying out version 2.0 of S.T.A.T.S. Melody and Celery Salt chatted about the 3rd Experimental. I guessed that Celery Salt had training as an intelligence officer. She asked me a few questions, but I stopped being a reliable source after talking about the type of punishment that alchemy enhanced ponies could stomach.

I mostly hung around with Pot Shot, getting used to actually having a functional body. Bi-ocular vision was particularly strange. Quiet was nice.

We didn't talk about so many things.

We didn't talk about how many ponies I killed.

We didn't talk about how how many ponies I burnt alive.

We didn't talk about how I beat the shit out of somepony because I could.

We didn't talk about how I killed someone on suspicion for being a cannibal.

We didn't talk about how I left a band of raiders alive.

We didn't talk about how I lost control again. How I used the 3rd brain damaging drugs again. How I should have died there.

We didn't talk.
It was great.

We just walked. And walked. And walked. And tried not to think.

***

The night before we reached the Pass, an eyebot snuck up on me while I was relieving myself.

For once, it wasn’t playing patriotic music, but hung around until I finished.

“Excuse me, but you’re Red Tree, right?” A metallic voice asked, coming from the bot.

“What do you want?” I was getting pretty good at not thinking. The eyebot barely penetrated the fog I built.

It paused, thoughtful for a few seconds, “Aren’t you surprised that somepony can talk through one of these?”

I shrugged. “One bug every hundred lines. One exploit every 100 bugs. Not as if they’re getting patched anymore.”

“Oh, that’s fair. Well, I’m Watcher.” The awkward silence lengthened until the robotic voice coughed and continued. “I’m trying to find ponies that are trying to save the wasteland. And, well I heard about you three on the radio, and I was hoping that -”

“No.”

“Excuse me?”

“No. Whatever you were going to say. No. I’m never working with those two again, I’m not a good pony. The rest of the world can burn for all I care. You putting faith in us is putting faith in a foal-killer, a slaver, and a brainwashed kid. If we never meet again, it would still be too soon.”

“That’s a little harsh. You helped save Equestria from the Specters.”

“If I turn into an alicorn, I’ll accept that I saved Equestria. Right now, I’m just a mutated pony not willing to take the easy way out.”

“I see… well, I hope you reconsider. You three could do great things in the Wasteland.”

I shook my head. We were done. The eyebot beeped, then started playing music again. It eventually wandered off.

***

That morning, the Brotherhood of Steel paladins left, and I took over the wagon.

***

A day later, the door code worked, and Judgment got back inside her Stable.

***

A day after that, Melody walked through the Lobster’s Pot’s front doors, certain that she had a good enough excuse to be welcomed with open arms.

***

One more day, and I ended up back at the farm. My dad was out there, aiming the .308 at my head.

I swallowed. “Hey Dad.”

“Red? What happen-, how did-”

“We should be clearing the southern field today, right?”

“Erm… well, we don’t have the ponypower, I mean, erm…. Yes.”

“Alright. Mind unpacking the wagon?” I pulled the quick releases and headed off into the fields. The yoke was in the barn, a little small, but I knew I could make it work.

And that’s exactly what I did. Not the easy way out.

Author's Note

Thank you for reading my first published longform story!

I hope you enjoyed it, and I would sincerely appreciate any feedback on how I did.