If only...

by Lenora Goff

Rating: everyone
Tags: Spike, Comedy, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 2782

After a weird dream, Twilight starts to have some really weird daydreams...

It had been a long, weird, night. Twilight Sparkle had a dream about being turned down by Rainbow Dash. That didn't make any sense, she didn't love her cyan friend.

Did she?

That thought being pushed out of her mind, Twilight starts through her day. It seems as though there's something off about her, though.

Yes... this is a pointless story. I just wrote it while i was tired. I wanted to give it another shot at writing here.

Published 2012-08-16 21:34:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-16 21:34:01 UTC

The story

How had this happened?

Celestia had told her that there was nothing wrong with telling ponies how you felt, that a true friend would be there for you forever. That was how she had thought that it was, and why she hadn’t even hesitated to tell Rainbow Dash how she felt. Twilight had grown close to all of her friends, but there was something about the way that Rainbow Dash was always there for her that made her ask the mare out on a date. It should have gone perfectly, with the answer of yes being nothing more than foregone conclusion. That was, of course, until she actually told the cyan mare how she felt.

Her friend had actually laughed at her, the Element of Loyalty had proven to be the most hurtful of all. It didn’t make any sense to her, everything had seemed perfect. The way that Rainbow had looked at her, the subtle gestures of her wings, she could have sworn that they all pointed to her affections being returned. This was something that had to be avoided, all she had to do was write a note and give it to her past self.

There would be no way she could mess this up! All she had to do was make sure that the feelings were never told, and then she wouldn’t feel any pain. All she had to do was go get the parchment, and the quill, and then...

“Twilight! Wake up! It’s almost noon!”

The lavender mare felt the claws of her assistant shaking her, waking her from one of the most vivid dreams that she had ever had. She didn’t have those feelings for Rainbow Dash, did she? That wouldn’t make any sense at all, they were best friends and nothing more. She couldn’t love her like that any more than she could love Spike as anything more than her best friend. Twilight looked down at Spike for a few moments, as if contemplating the idea of that.

“What?” It was a good question, she hadn’t actually said anything.

Nope, nothing at all. The thought fluttered into the back of her mind, and then she rolled out of bed. “I was just trying to figure out how I had slept so late. I have a lot of stuff to catch up on.” She stretched, looking at Spike. He sure looks confident, and happy. It’s always good to know that I can count on my number one assistant to have a smile on his face.

“Way ahead of you. I re-shelved the books, cleaned up the library, and cooked you some lunch.”

The idea of lunch did sound really good.

“It would have been breakfast,” he continued on without letting her say a single thing. “But you were really sleeping. I don’t know what it was, but you had this look of dread on your face. I almost woke you up when I heard a sniffle, well... I tried to anyway. But you weren’t going to wake up, so I gave up.”

His inquisitive glance continued, as if he was expecting her to give up some sort of secret. There was no way that he was going to tell him about the dream, he might think it was something else. Clearly, she just hadn’t spent enough time with her friend. Her brain was going overboard, that was all that it could be, that was all that she really wanted it to be. Twilight had studies to do, there had never been much room in her life for anything else. And if there was room for somebody else, I don’t think it’d be Rainbow. She’s beautiful and all, but she doesn’t seem like somepony I could spend the rest of my life with.

“Equestria to Twilight. You were supposed to meet Rarity for lunch today.” Shortly after he said that, Twilight could barely make out the next words. She could have sworn she heard ‘lucky you’, the grin on her assistant’s face fading away into a slightly sad expression.

“Oh my gosh, you’re right!” Without another word, she rushed out the door. She had completely forgotten the fact that she was supposed to meet up with Rarity, lunch had almost become a normal meeting between the two. Twilight wasn’t the type that enjoyed the spa much, and her luxury-loving friend had soon come up with a compromise. They could spend time in a manner that they both enjoyed. It was also a good way for the white mare to make sure that her friend didn’t skip out on the meal. After all, the studious unicorn was known to drop a few of the things that everypony else took for granted, like eating and sleeping, if there was something that caught her interests.

-15 minutes later-

Twilight was just on time, ready to meet Rarity at the normal spot.

The sunlight seemed to almost glisten off her hair. It was perfectly maintained, beautiful as the mare that had it. All she had to do was head over to her, tell her that she loved her, and then everything would be perfect. If only Twilight’s legs would move, she could go over there. She saw the beautiful eyes of her future marefriend, Rarity, looking up at her. She could look at those eyes for hours, but right now she had to get up the courage to move.

The only thing that could get her to move was to think of everything that she had overcome. Twilight had overcome Nightmare Moon, she had defeated Discord, she had stopped a rampaging Ursa Minor. Two of those things were with the help of her friends, but at the very least she should be able to talk to Rarity about the fact that she wanted to go out on a real date. This was something between friends, yet she desired something greater.

When she finally got over to her, Twilight cleared her throat. “Rarity, I have something important to tell you.”

“What do you need, darling? Is something wrong?”

That was something that she loved about the mare, always so caring about everypony else. Twilight shook her head, a smile coming to her face. This wasn’t going to be so hard, she knew it. “Actually, nothing’s wrong. I was just wondering if you might want to go out some time.”

“We are out, darling. And I do enjoy the time that we spend together. I know how you don’t enjoy the spa, so this is naturally the next best thing.”

“I don’t mean like this... I mean...”

A look of realization dawned on her face, Rarity obviously understood what was going to be asked. This was when she expected there to be a smile, or maybe an understanding expression, but there was none. The only thing that Twilight saw was a look of revulsion. It was almost as if the idea of being her marefriend was scaring her away. Rarity stood up, backing away a few feet.

“But... but... you’re just an egghead. I can’t be known as somepony who goes out with eggheads. I have a reputation to uphold.” With that, she turned and galloped away...

“Twilight, dear, are you alright?” Rarity was standing in front of her, a concerned look on her face. Something was wrong with her friend, she could see it. The only question, of course, was what Twilight would tell her.

“It’s nothing, Rarity, I just have a lot on my mind.”

The lie wasn’t bought, but with any luck she wouldn’t push it any further.

First Rainbow Dash, now Rarity. I really need to spend more time with my friends, my subconscious is really starting to play tricks on me. Twilight walked the rest of the way to the table, sitting down comfortably and looking at Rarity. Nope, I couldn’t possibly be in love with Rarity, that makes no sense. The only thing that took her attention away from Rarity, or more importantly staring at her creepily, was the waiter that came up to take their order.

“I’ll have a daisy and daffodil sandwich.” Twilight quickly ordered, the same meal as she had been trying to get all that time ago before the Gala.

“And I as well.” Rarity chimed in.

“So, Twilight, what have you been up to lately?”

“Not a lot, just reading. I was trying to figure out the type of magic that would be needed to move the sun.” That likely seemed like a strange subject, but it was one that she had long wanted to know. Twilight knew that she couldn’t move the sun, or the moon either, but she thirsted for the knowledge about why it happened. Part of her felt as though she needed to understand everything about her mentor.

“Are you planning on taking over for Celestia?” A good natured joke, the grin was plastered on her friend’s face.

“No, no, no, no. I was just hoping to understand more about the Princess. Besides, there’s nothing wrong with trying to learn everything about how magic works.”

“I was kidding, Twilight. You do seem like the type that wants to understand everything. I really like that about you.”

She really likes me? Of course she does, Twilight, you’re friends. This means nothing more than that, just like your little daydream means nothing more than that. We’re good friends, just like I’m good friends with Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and Applejack. By then, their sandwiches had been sat down on the table.

It looked delicious.

“So, what do you have planned for today? I know you aren’t one to go to the spa, but you seem stressed out. If you’d like, I could help you find some ways to relax. Celestia knows you seem to love pushing yourself too hard.” It was a really kind gesture, actually, but in the end she had to shake her head.

“Actually, I was going to see if Fluttershy could help me out with Owlysius. Something seems wrong with him, but I can’t figure out what it is. Maybe another time?”

“O-of course.”

The next fifteen minutes, the time it took them to eat, was spent talking about how Rarity’s day had gone. There had been a mishap with some of her fabric, caused by Sweetie Belle and the Crusaders, but that hadn’t been enough to stop her from competing another large order. Twilight almost wanted to bring up how it seemed she was always busy with dressmaking, but knew that it was better to not say something that could be misconstrued as attack.

In the end, they both paid for their meals and left. Twilight had to head over to Fluttershy’s, and Rarity had to gather some gems to make sure that she could deal with any orders that required them.

-At Fluttershy’s-

Light knocks on the door were greeted with the yellow Pegasus. A smile was on her friend’s face.

It was actually one of the most beautiful smiles she had seen for a while. There was something that pulled her in about it, something that made her think that she could be by this mare’s side forever.

“Oh, hello Twilight. It’s so nice to see you.”

Those words were more than enough to confirm to Twilight that they were meant for each other. She didn’t have to say anything in return, all she had to do was act. She moved in to kiss her beautiful new marefriend, or at least she thought she was, before she felt the door slam in her face. It really hurt, but the scared look on her friend’s face was something that hurt more.

What had she done?

“Just go away, Twilight. I don’t think I can deal with seeing you right now.”

“Twilight? Oh dear, I hope you’re not hurt.”

A shake of her head, the weird vision faded and was replaced with a concerned Fluttershy. Why was this even happening? Twilight had a lot of good friends, best friends, but that is all she wanted them to be. There was no reason for any of this to be happening. “Nothing at all, Fluttershy. I was actually wondering if you could help me out with a pet-related problem.”

“Is is PeeWee?”

“No, Owlysius hasn’t been doing so well lately.”

“What seems to be different?”

“I really don’t know how else to explain it... but he is starting to sleep through the night and then through most of the next day.”

Fluttershy looked up for a moment, as if she was thinking. “How about you get him to come by my cottage later. It might not be anything big, Twilight, but I’ll never know until I see him myself.” The smile then returned to her face, the knowledge that this was all about her animal-friend made everything make a lot more sense. She didn’t know what she would do if anything happened to Angel.

“Thanks, Fluttershy. I knew I could count on you.”

“It’s no problem at all.”

With that errand out of the way, it was time to head to Sugarcube Corner. Twilight’s recent daydreams were obviously the work of a mind that wanted to sleep more, that was what she had deduced. The only thing that might get her through the day, or at least through most of it, was something sweet. I’ll probably end up going to bed early tonight, and tomorrow I’ll feel great. I’ll be back to normal.

On her way to the bakery, she caught sight of her friend Applejack.

Strong, muscular, legs propelled the earth mare forward. Twilight could see her hair being tossed by the wind. The other two times had been the works of an overtaxed brain, and the dream had just been some sort of message about spending time with Rainbow Dash, but this one was obvious. When Appljeack looked at her, she could see the longing.

Twilight lunged at her, tackling her as she passed. Before she could say anything, though, twin back legs bucked her off.

Another weird daydream, her was obviously studying way too hard.

-Sugarcube Corner-

“Hey Twilight!” Pinkie practically jumped over the counter to greet her, right as she entered the bakery. It was good to have friends like that.

I may not understand her, but... Twilight was interrupted by something that just dawned on her. Out of all the friends that were happy to see her, Pinkie always seemed to be the happiest. There was no way this was a mistake, she knew that this time she was right. Pinkie Pie loved her, and she could definitely see herself loving somebody like that.

Pinkie was just about the greatest friend, and would be the greatest marefriend.

The two of them practically met in the middle, Twilight rushing over to kiss her. This time, it was something that didn’t come with a scared look. This time it was something that was returned, the love that she knew as there was actually there. Strangely enough, Twilight tasted cotton candy as she kissed Pinkie.

Their lips parted.

“Wow, Twilight. That was weird.”

Pinkie Pie had taken a step back, a look of confusion covered her face.

“Wha? Huh?” She snapped back to attention, not realizing anything that had happened. Everything else had been a weird dream, so this had to have been one too.

“Listen, I don’t think it’ll work between us.” Pinkie didn’t make any sense to her, and it showed. Twilight’s expression was one of confusion. “I mean, I have to work all the time... you have to study all the time. And when I’m not working, I’m taking care of the twins or planning a party.” It felt strange being turned down by the perpetually happy pink mare.

Wait, turned down? I have no idea what happened here. Twilight let out a confused chuckle, and took it for Pinkie being Pinkie. The worst case scenario, her body had acted when she had spaced out. All she had to was explain the entire thing to her friend, and she would understand. “Actually, I kind of spaced out there. What happened?”

“You kissed me, duh.”

Yep, it happened. Twilight’s cheeks turned a bright color, and then she cleared her throat. “Maybe I could just get some cupcakes to go. Twelve would make a perfect amount.” Six for me, six for Spike. I’m sure he’ll enjoy them. Her assistant always seemed to love sweets.

“Coming right up!”

Almost as if it had been expected, a batch of them were soon sitting on the counter. As soon as the bits were put on the counter, Twilight left with the cupcakes.

She had to get home, and she had to take a nap.