"Alright Rainbow Dash, truth or dare?"
Dash looked at Twilight, the purple unicorn had invited all of her friends for what she called "The biggest most adequate slumber party in Equestrian history". Of course Pinkie being an expert on parties was quick to let Twi know that the actual biggest slumber party in history was the great sleep of 1692, but she also told Twilight that she was very close and was only off by a few hundred ponies at the most.Pinkie had offered to invite the other three hundred ponies she knew outside of her circle of friends, but Twilight respectfully declined. The party had begun about two hours ago and had begun with a classic makeover, naturally Dash had refused to partake in the makeover, but she went full force in the pillow fight, until Fluttershy got mad at least. After facing Fluttershy's horrendous wraith, they began a game of truth or dare.
It had started out rather juvenile, with questions like "Which stallions or mares do you have a crush on?", and little dares like"stand on your head and drink a glass of water". Being the headstrong gogetter she was, Rainbow Dash had picked dare every single time and never backed down from any of them, but now dash was getting tired and wanted to take a break from the many challenging and at times disgusting dares launched at her by her best friends.
I'll pick truth this time. She thought to herself.Besides it's not as though an egghead like Twilight could come up with anything juicy.
"Truth."
Twilight thought for a bit before looking to Rainbow Dash.
"What is your deepest darkest secret?"
Fuck! Rainbow thought to herself rather explicitly.
Rainbow's face flushed and she looked around the room, anywhere but directly at her friends. The other Elemnts of Harmony immediately noticed Dash's reaction and began to get antsy. Surely if this secret could make the second most loudmouth pony in Ponyville lose the will to even look anypony in the eye then surely it must be a real juicy one.
"Uhhh can I switch to dare?"
Okay that sealed it. No way were her friends going to let her out of this one.
"No way, we all did our truths and dares and now it's your turn," said Applejack in a stern voice.
"Ummm...maybe we could let her switch...if...that's okay."
"Fine," said Twilight, "Rainbow Dash I dare you to tell us your deepest darkest secret."
Celestia Dammit! Why is she so fucking smart? Dash looked at her friends, and sighed.
"Fine, if you really want to know that badly... I'm not toilet trained."
The room went silent. Rainbow's friends looked at her, and then at each other, and they all burst out laughing, well except for Fluttershy who was simply smiling, and twitching as though she was trying to hold back a few giggles.
The chorus of laughter lasted for about ten minutes, until one pony saw the look on Rainbow's face. It was a sad ashamed look, Dash was definitely serious. The laughter slowly died down as one by one, all of the ponies came to the realization that Rainbow Dash wasn't kidding.
"Oh my gosh, Dashie you aren't kidding are you?"
"No."
"But why weren't you toilet trained? Didn't your parents teach you?"
"They tried, but before they could finish training me, a rabid cthulu that shoots grizzly bears that are also on fire and also the grizzly bears are made of lightning, attacked Cloudsdale. My parents were killed by a swarm of bees while that was happening."
The five non-cyan ponies huddled around Dash and hugged her.
"Now that my secret is out I've gotta ask. Since I definitely need to learn how to make boom boom like a big girl at some point, could you guys potty train me?"
Dash's friends exchanged nervous glances.
"Well gosh Dash I really would love to help but I can't really remember how my parents taught me, and I don't have a copy of Everypony Poops in my library."
"I'm awful sorry Rainbow, but I can't remember a lick of my training either."
"I can't even remember to turn the stove off."
"..I don't remeber either...."
"I completely remember every aspect of my training but I'll be too busy talking about you behind your back to be of any use."
Rainbow Dash threw Rarity out of the treehouse and into a mud puddle.
"Well I know who might remember their training," Twilight said hesitantly.
"Who?"
"The Cutie Mark Crusaders."
_ _ _____________________________________ _
It was late in the afternoon and Applebloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle were in the midst of their latest attempt at gaining their cutie marks dubbed "Cutie Mark Crusaders paint dry watchers" needless to say it was a bust. They were about to go try jet skiing when they saw the elements of harmony walkinng towards them, though a certain cyan element of loyalty was looking less confident then usual.
"Hi girls,"Twilight said,"we have a bit of a favor to ask you."
"What?" asked Applebloom.
"Could you potty train Rainbow Dash?"
The Cutie mark Crusaders stared at each other.
"Are you serious?"
"Unfortunately yes."
"Wait a minute,"Scootaloo shouted,"You mean to tell me that my idol, the pony I look up to, isn't even potty trained?"
"Well....yeah"
"UNACCEPTABLE, I can't believe it. What kind of pony are you? You will never get into the wonderbolts if you can't simply hold it in until a feces receptacle is within your vicinity!"
"Oh wow is that all I have to do? Thanks Scoots I owe you one. Maybe I'll teach you how to fly tomorrow."
And with the conflict resolved the Mane 6 cantered off into the sunset while whistling showtunes.
Scootaloo stared at her friends without saying a word.Then she yelled angrily.
"Fucking ass!"
To this day Rainbow Dash has never wet the bed or urinated in public ever again. She went on to join the wonderbolts and dedicated her entire career to Scootaloo.
The end. /)^3^(\
