In Memory of Me

by Toriandthehorse

Rating: teen
Tags: Dark, Sad, Other, Romance, Rarity, Death, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 3677

For Rarity, the past is life. The future is death. She's not... gone. But... she's also not... there.

Rarity has had a nice life. She met her friends, she met her special somedragon, she's achieved all her dreams business-wise, and she's been a trendsetter for who-knows-how-long.
When it's time to go... there's only one way for her to go out.
Go out in style.

Special Thanks to Ninjadeadbeard, for proofreading, editing, and for being a great friend.

Published 2019-11-12 01:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-11-12 01:40:01 UTC

Time To Go

The letters came late at night. The sun had set long ago, moon rising high to take its place. Most ponies had already lifted into the Dreamlands, welcomed and comforted by dreams of silence. It was a beautiful night, decked with thousands of millions of shimmering little stars.

In fact, it might very well have been one of the best nights Ponyville had ever seen. Had it not been for the hastily scribbled emergency message that a frantic dragon blew out the window of his beloved’s home.

The letter appeared, not mere seconds later, right in front of Princess Twilight Sparkle’s nose. The mare had already taken the heavy golden shoes and crown off, and was about to fold into her large featherbed, weary limbs all too ready to retire. Thoughts and reflections of the day ran through her mind, teasing a smile as she remembered the filly festival. Her eyes drifted shut as she arranged the sheets around her large alicorn body, eagerly awaiting relieving sleep.

It all changed aft waft of smoke cleared the way for the letter. Her eyes popped open as soon as the shift of air announced an intruder. She scanned the page quickly, eyes lethargic at first, then widening to awake as she went on. Her pink aura of magic fired up immediately after finishing, and then, with a pop, she teleported herself out of the room, panic making her move fast.

At the Carousel Boutique, there was none of the still peace reflecting across the night sky. The lights were on and blindingly bright, heavy chatter rang out from all around, and nopony was asleep.

Seven mares and one dragon were crowded into one room in particular. There was Pinkie Pie, who’s mane still sprang up into curls whenever she was happy, even years after leaving her ‘young’ phase. Fluttershy stood beside her, eyes the same gentle blue they were even as a filly. Rainbow Dash stood strong right next to Fluttershy, her blue coat still vibrant as ever. Applejack stood a ways apart, her old hat faithfully in an orange-tanned hoof. Twilight, Princess of Friendship, towered over her friends, bare of any title-announcing regalia. They were all crowded around a bed, a bed in the upper room of the Boutique. On the bed lay a white mare. The mare had purple locks, not nearly as styled as during her younger years. The mare had three blue gems decorating her flank, proudly worn for so long. The mare was Rarity. Beside her, closer than any of the mares, was a purple dragon. This was Spike. He had grown quite a bit since coming to Ponyville, those years ago. He could easily stand beside the bed, and keep his eyes trained on the mare he loved. As he was.

In the rooms downstairs, even more ponies had gathered. There was Cheese Sandwich, ready to support his Pinkie whenever she needed it. Wonderbolt Soarin stood in the corner, staring at the wall absentmindedly. In the opposite corner, there was even Equestria’s only draconequus, staring in the direction his Fluttershy had gone last.

Clearly, Rarity was going downhill. Spike had sent the emergency message – the message that had been predefined as a last resort, back when Rarity had first been diagnosed. She could barely open her eyes enough to look at the ones she loved, and her chest was rising even more faintly with each passing moment. Her mane was stained with sweat, but she didn’t even comment.

“I-I guess th-this is i-it then?” Pinkie Pie whispered. She stared at Rarity, mane deflating even more. Rarity stirred, eyes twitching open with a slight, remorseful smile.

“I’m afraid so, darling.” She rasped. Her voice couldn’t even be identified as hers anymore – it had been replaced by… a horrid sound. One that couldn’t possible belong to such a once-glamorous mare. Spike flinched, reaching out to grip her hoof tight. His eyes stayed dry, but he was falling apart.

“Do… do you have anything- is there anything you need?” Twilight stumbled over the words. She felt a bit like she couldn’t get enough air, couldn’t find the words to form a sentence to her dying friend.

“I have everything I need.” Rarity murmured, giving Spike a soft smile.

“Well… is there-” Twilight began, only to be cut off by Rarity’s hoarse whisper.

“There is a letter.” She started, squeezing her eyes shut against the light. “You’ll find it in my Inspiration Room. By my desk.” She paused, taking a big inhale, then another. Spike watched, slowly drawing circles on her normally-polished white hooves with the tip of his claw. “There is a false bottom in the top right drawer. Spike knows where it is. You built it.” She turned slightly to Spike, pushing her hoof up into his claw. He managed a wavering smile, a smile thick with tears held back. “There is a letter for each of you.” Her voice trailed off, not by choice.

“Are you alright?” Rainbow Dash spoke up.

“Yes, dear. I’m fine.” Rarity gasped. Her body tightened with heavy tremors, crinkling the bed’s linens all the more. The room hesitated, going still and thick with fear. Not even Rainbow Dash, the pony known for her inability to stand still, moved a muscle.

“R-Rarity?” Spike was visibly trembling. Twilight stepped forward, laying a hoof on his scales, but he flinched away, crawling closer to the mare he loved.

“Spike…” She mumbled, fighting for the next inhale. It was a losing battle, everypony could see. The exhales were coming much faster than the inhales. She spoke again, in a rushed, lethargic tone. “Don’t say… goodbye… this is not… goodbye…” Rarity faltered, her grip on Spike going weak. Applejack came closer, pressing up against Rainbow’s other side. “I’m… sorry…” Another tremor rippled through her body, flowing smoothly from her legs, to her stomach, to every single part of her. She tightened with the spasm, riding out a wave she couldn’t handle anymore.

“Rarity!” Fluttershy cried. Her eyes were wide open, seemingly unable to look away from her dying friend. The mare didn’t answer until the wave had subsided.

“Thank… you…” She whispered, blinking her eyes open. She shifted so she was facing the ponies she called best friends. Her eyes were dim; flooded with illness and death. A smile, gentle, spread across her muzzle. She drifted her eyes from Applejack, to Fluttershy, to Rainbow Dash, to Twilight, to Pinkie, and then to Spike. She locked gazes with the dragon, for just a small moment. Then, her eyes fell shut. The tremors shook her body, violently, but she just couldn’t resist anymore. “Thank you all.” She whispered, so quietly.

And then, Rarity went still. The tremors let up. Her chest went still; not even her stomach showing any sign of fight. Her eyes shut for good. Only the soft smile remained, and even that was fading quickly.

Rarity was gone.

The room was cloaked in silence. A shocked sort of silence – the silence that comes after losing one of the greatest friends a pony could ever ask for.

Dearest Princess Twilight Sparkle,

If you are reading this, it means I have given my last words, and departed into whatever will come next. I apologize for whatever you must be feeling right now… I don’t want you to hurt because of me.

You’ve grown so much. It may very well not be my place to say this, but I truly have watched you grow into the Ruler of Equestria. And what a worthy ruler you are.

In the future, I know it’ll be hard. You fear everypony you love dying, and I’m afraid my death will only cement that. I… wish I could say something, something that would help you see all will be well… but I’m not sure what I can say, if I can say anything at all. Everything will be alright, darling. Everything will be alright.

You deserve your wings. You deserve your crown. You deserve the throne. You have worked so hard, to get to where you are today. You deserve every bit of it. And yes, there will be hardships, and there will be deaths. But, Twilight, everything will be alright. Again, everything will be alright. Even after the last of us is gone, we’ll never truly be gone. You’ll still have each and every one of us right there by you, “through thick and thin.” Please don’t ever forget that.

For whatever is in your future, I wish you the best of luck. I will be watching, watching over you. I’m so sorry for anything I have done, and for what I’m surely doing to you right now. I don’t mean to cause more hurt than I have to.

Keep going, my dear Twilight. All will be well.

Yours sincerely,

Rarity

(P.S. Please… take care of Spike. I don’t want to know what he’s going to do. Just… help him, Twilight. Please.)

Dearest Pinkie Pie,

If you’re reading this, it means my party has ended. And I know that makes you sad. If it helps, to make you happy again, it was an incredible party. Especially since you, and Rainbow, and Fluttershy, Twilight, and Applejack, were the ones throwing it. I know it always helps when your parties are a success – please know, this one was.

Speaking of your parties… continue with them, alright? They are truly what you’re meant to do, and you are so very good at it. I have, not in all my years, ever seen as many ponies smile as they do during one of the legendary Pinkie Pie’s parties. It is a wonder to see a dreary day brighten, all because of a friend called you.

Now… moving on to the pony called Cheese. He is going to be asking you a very important question, soon. And I won’t be around for it, I can already tell. I won’t tell you to accept his offer, and I won’t tell you to decline it. I don’t have that right, I never had, and I never will. But… think about what would make you happy, okay, darling? You deserve nothing less than pure happiness, happiness not unlike what you bring to each and every creature that comes to your parties, time and time again.

I know times have been… tough… before. I know there have been times when the smiles seemed fake, and everypony seemed to keep wanting more, and more. And I know how hard that must have been. But I will always admire how you didn’t let it stop you. Look at you now! You have friends all over Equestria, and even beyond. Ponies are there to help you, whenever you need it. Please, if times ever go back to that, think about all you’ve accomplished. As much as I miss you, and wait for the day we encounter again… I don’t want to see you even a day early. Go out, and live your life as best you can. If, in the extremely unlikely event, ponies ever turn away, I’ll be right here. So will the others. And you can always talk to us. That won’t ever change.

I’m very sorry I won’t be there for… a special surprise. I’m very sorry I hurt you, whether it was with my death, or times before. And I’m very sorry I won’t get to see your final party, or your final smile. You have helped me grow and make the most of my life – and I have to thank you very much for that.

I’ll definitely miss you, my dear. But we will meet again. And then, we can have another party together. The first of many.

Yours sincerely,

Rarity

Dearest Fluttershy,

If you are reading this, it means I’ll not be available for tea on Wednesdays anymore. If it’s any comfort to you, as it is to me, my life here was marvelous. You, along with Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie made it so.

We weren’t all too close, back in the time surrounding when we met first. It hurts some to say this, now, but I fear it is the truth. I’m not quite sure why, exactly… perhaps it was that I… had a tendency to be controlling, and you were the opposite. And then when Discord proposed… I did not react the way a true friend should. I apologize for my foolish reaction, Fluttershy. I should have seen you loved him, and I should have seen how much he loves you. It wasn’t right of me to react the way I did. It definitely didn’t help our friendship. However, I do feel that changed, as time went on. Don’t you think? We started having tea on Wednesdays, and then went for walks around your sanctuary. They were moments I looked forward to, even if the snakes sometimes gave me a fright.

Now, my dear… I have a hunch. And, please correct me if I’m wrong, but I have a hunch that you are with foal. Discord’s foal, yes? Before you start to stammer, and heavens, perhaps even pass out… I know because, well, a mare just… knows. You could never get enough of the cucumber sandwiches, and there was a certain heaviness to your gait. Oh, and sometimes, I’d see you in your restroom. In the morning. If I am correct, and I have a feeling that I am indeed, congratulations, my dear Fluttershy. Congratulations. You are going to make a wonderful mother, and don’t let anypony take that from you. Stand up for the little foal, because… you know how it is. And tell Discord sooner, rather than later, alright? I can assure you, he’ll understand. He’ll support you. He’ll be loyal to you, and no, he won’t leave you. You have your doubts, I can tell… but he’ll be just as happy as you are. Oh, and you may want to break it to poor Rainbow Dash slowly… she may not take is so well. Heh, heh…

I wish I could be there to watch whoever it turns out to be grow into a lovely mare or stallion. I fear I won’t be able to… my time is coming, and coming fast. But please know… I am proud of the mare you have become. I am proud that you stand up for what’s right, and I am proud that you fought for Discord, even when all of us had doubts. It got you far, and I know it will continue to do so.

I’m sorry for the hurt I’m causing, and have caused. I hope one day, those wounds will be able to heal. I’ll always be with you, even if only in spirit.

Yours sincerely,

Rarity

Dearest Applejack,

If this letter is in your hooves, it means I am no longer in the land of the living. It means that horrible illness has finally claimed me for good. I must admit, however… my life has been wonderful. I know I… may not have acted it, especially in my younger years… but it truly was. You, and Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy, and my Spike played an incredibly large role in that. You all made my life better, each in your own way.

You showed me what honesty was. At times, you were, well, brutally honest, but looking back… I believe I needed to hear it. What do you call it… a reality check, I think. In those moments, perhaps neither was at our best, but we turned out alright in the end, didn’t we?

We did not agree on everything. My stores in Canterlot were too ‘posh’ or ‘pristine.’ Your hooves were always too ‘dirty’ or ‘filthy.’ I legitimately had to force you into a dress, and don’t get me started on how hard it was to get your mane done. And I fear I never helped out on your farm, even when it probably would have done me much good. But in our later years… things went better between us, didn’t they? We learned to accept each other for who we were, and that undoubtedly strengthened our friendship. I would not hesitate for a moment to call you one of my closest friends.

I must ask… You know something about this illness, do you not? I always wondered why you could never bear to come to the hospital with us, could never stand to look over the test results. One day, I guess it clicked. Your parents died of this, didn’t they? I must apologize… I shouldn’t have said the things I did, when you refused. I should have been more considerate, and thought it through before forming such a rash opinion. And… for what it’s worth, I am so sorry about your parents. They would be so proud if they could see you where you are now.

One day, I am sure you’ll have foals of your own. Grandfoals. Perhaps even great-grandfoals. And I’m sure you’ll tell them the stories behind every cider, every jam, and every one of those apple trees you so love. Tell them. Tell them everything you can. Because if they can be half the mare their mother, their grandmother, their great-grandmother was… Equestria will be guaranteed to be in safe hooves.

I’m sorry I won’t be there to see who you end up betrothed to. I’m sorry I’ll never see the last tree you buck, and I’m sorry I’ll never get another chance to help you raise your barn.

And I’m sorry if I hurt you – both while I was still alive, and with my death. Thank you for all you’ve taught me.

Yours sincerely,

Rarity

Dearest Rainbow Dash,

If you are reading this, it means I have finally completed my show. As unfortunate as that is, surely, I have led a lovely life. I met Spike, and you, and Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy, and Twilight Sparkle, and Applejack, and not to mention… all the others that have influenced my life and made it better.

I know we didn’t agree on everything, all the time. I always thought your mane was too disheveled, and your attitude was too much like a stallion. And I know you didn’t agree with dresses, or what I did for a living. And I admit, sometimes I held that against you. But… as you matured, you… truly did grow up. You met Soarin. You let your mane grow out, even though you were uncertain. I even got you into a dress, for Fluttershy and Discord’s wedding. And I’m sorry I can’t be there for when you and Soarin have your own wedding. I’m sorry I won’t be able to hold your first foal, or your second. I’m sorry I won’t be there to see your last flying competition, or your final sonic rainboom. I promise I’ll be there in spirit, always cheering you on, alright?

Please promise me something as well. Promise you’ll make the most of life, no matter what it throws at you. Promise you’ll take the others by the hoof and stay strong for them – or maybe, just cry with them, after I’m gone. Don’t turn away from them when they need help, and don’t turn away from them when you need help. It is alright to ask and accept help. I know that’s always been hard for you, but you’ve gotten better. I admire that about you, do you know? Despite being so selfishly arrogant, you still better yourself, even when nopony expects it. And your loyalty knows no bounds.

Keep that up, my dear. It will be repaid one day.

I’m sorry if I caused you pain, both with my death and otherwise. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me.

Yours sincerely,

Rarity

My dearest Spike…

I… don’t know what I should say… I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Spike. I caused you so much hurt, over the years. And my death surely doesn’t help. I’m sorry, Spike. I’m so sorry. You shouldn’t have to suffer because of the illness that caused this, and you shouldn’t have to suffer because of my death. I shouldn’t have ignored you, back when you first came to Ponyville. I shouldn’t have brushed you off, time, and time, and time again. It was wrong of me, and it hurts to think about now.

Oh… I must pull myself together for this, because I fear nopony else will say it to you.

You do not get to do anything stupid, because of this. I know you, and I know what you do for ponies you love. I miss you, Spike, but you are still needed in Equestria. You have to keep fighting. You cannot break now. You have to push through, no matter how much it hurts. If you can’t do it for yourself, do it for me.

The years in which I was with you were the best I’ve ever had. You kept me quiet, you kept me kind, and you kept me… well, me. You gave me so much, and I shall forever treasure it. You gave me your heart, and I shall forever treasure it. You were the first creature that ever got me, and understood me, and loved me… for me. You were the best friend I’ve ever had, and you always, always, always will be.

I’ll be here. Always, for eternity, for forever. I’ll be waiting for you – that is, I’ll be waiting for when your natural time comes. Then we can be together again, and this time, nothing and nopony can tear us apart. If you ever need to talk, I am right here. I promise I’ll listen, and answer the best I can.

I’m sorry, Spike, really. Thank you so much. I love you, forever. I miss you.

Until we meet again,

Rarity

Author's Note

"We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will. ~Chuck Palahnuik