FOE vs cosmic gardener

by jimerjam

Rating: teen
Tags: Violence, Princess Celestia, Human, Twilight Sparkle, Anthro, Princess Luna, Drama, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Cadance, Alternate Universe, Original Character, Comedy, Non-consensual
Length: 1064

dannin meets a creature that he could not control, even if let him, after all what can a plant do to the hoe?

caribou have been disappearing, and by that danin means that all of his senior advisors just disappeared. then a strange anomaly appeared in the throne room and gave him and the princesses a choice.

Published 2019-11-12 17:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-11-12 17:40:01 UTC

chapter 1

King Danin sat on the throne with a scowl on his face, his pet sun slut was at his feet. She was trying to get her afternoon meal, but danin was having none of it; after all, his top advisors and family friends had gon up and disappeared without a second trace. Everyone had expected him to be next. Frankly, so did he. So when a sudden ball of power appeared in the middle of the throne room, the guards where around it like flies to a corpse. a hairless bipedal ape stepped forward, wearing denim cargo jeans and a work shirt. it was clearly male. Danin smiled, he was sure that this deity was proud of what he did to the former kingdom of equestria. He was not expecting the creature's actual response.

"Now that is just nasty!" the creature exclaimed.

The creature then walked forward, ignoring the spears, that shattered upon contacting him.

"Hello, my name is (INFINITY) but you can call me gardener, or creater for that matter"

before Danin could express his outrage Gardener continued.
"You know, Once my mother planted a garden, she put all manners of flowers in it. But unlike other people, she let this garden grow wild; sure she kept out all the invasives but the garden always remained pristine. But now she is dead, and I must clean up after her, now that her place is mine." He gestured around him. "When a garden becomes so poised by ivy and weeds and everything is on the brink of death, You have two options: A, you can remove everything slowly and tedious or B: you can take the rototiller and start over; nothing survives." He stared at sun slut, and suddenly she was WEARING something! Not only that, but the unconquered one and 'twilight was there as well, all of them STANDING UP, and WEARING CLOTHES!!

"SIT DOWN AT YOUR FEET CUNTS" Danin ordered.

Gardener chuckled, "I have removed your influence over all of them, they are no longer your pets, they can do nothing to you and you can do nothing to them."

Celestia looked at everyone, "But where is cadence?" she asked.

Gardener waved his hand in dismissal, "I always wondered why she planted he in the first place, she is morning glory, almost as bad as ivy but with beautiful flowers, trust me she is gonna require constant pruning to prevent her from founding the equestria trainers society," he shivered "that would be almost as bad as this little infestation"

Celestia was smart, she knew who (INFINITY) was, she remembered the creator, she knew that this was not necessary, that (INFINITY) could, and would remove the caribou without anyone even noticing, after all, can a weed truly fight back against the hoe? Even SHE could not even DREAM of getting rid of him, Although she could glimpse the world he was seeing, in that world, Celestia was a wild cherry tree, once beautiful, but now sickly, recently removed, but not yet pulled ivy lay at her base, ready at a moments notice to be finished off.

"But, who am I?" asked Twilight.

Gardener smiled, "You are fall Crocus, mother's favorite. Only blooming once a year and spending the rest underground. Just like them you have more potential than just shut in introvert pony hiding in her library, no offence."

Twilight giggled, "it is good for someone to give me some respect around here"

Gardener put a hand on his face. "not the point Twilight, as I was saying I am giving you all a choice, either choose the rototiller or the hoe."

Luna looked around to find everyone thinking, and wondered why no one was asking the more important question, "what are the full terms of this arrangement"

Gardener smiled, "Ah, Luna, always asking the most important questions, (you being a evergreen I am not surprised) well, For option A: the hoe, that will remove all carboe from existence, but the wounds from this brief period of bondage will sadly remain, and you will be responsible for undoing all the damage caused by them. For option B: the rototiller; let's just call that the master reset, no one will remember anything, the only ones that come close will be all three of the alicorns, (it can be very hard to rototill a tree you know) However, nothing will be the same, as I cannot plant everything exactly how it was; either way nothing will be the same"

Danin was becoming increasingly agitated, he knew that no matter what, he was going to be removed, this, as expected, did not sit well for him.

"NOW LISTEN HERE YOU WEAK MALE-" danin started-

-only to have him disappear from the fabric of reality, there was no pop, or blink, he was just gone.

"Glad to have that piece of shit out of the way" Gardener said, "does he not know it is a bad idea to antagonize a god?" He said, tapping his head as if it where common sense (witch it really is).

"I have waited long enough, make your choice now" gardener said, his voice taking on a impatient tone

Celestia was tired, so very tired of all of the caribou, no matter her decision, the caribou would be gone. The only remaining variable is how her little ponies came out of it; either they would be left in a more sex focused society that had heatheir gender norms, or no one would remember anything the alicorns would be the only ones who would remember anything. Celestia knew that some would resist the transition, and many (like herself) knew that being uptight helped no one, and that a more sex focused equestria would be a paradise for future generations.

"Are you thinking the same as me Sister?" Asked Luna,

"I for certain am" said Twilight, a sultry look on her face.

All together they spoke, with conviction and purpose.

"We choose the hoe"

"Good choice" (INFINITY) said.

And then it was done, the caribou's influence was removed, and Equestria was left to heal, But like (INFINITY) had said, nothing would be the same, orgies where common and males and females where once again equal everyone enjoyed a better equestria.

Everyone except (INFINITY) who was wondering why all friendly beehive made its home in the crook of Celestia the cherry tree.