The Loneliness of a Goddess
The cyan pony with the rainbow mane was a ball of energy. Her cloud home on the edge of Ponyville was more disheveled than usual on this fine spring day. Rainbow Dash has never been much for spending a lot of time cleaning up after herself. As the administrator and leader of the Wonderbolts, she made enough bits to hire somepony to clean up after her. Though with her rank, she actually rated a steward who could do that job for her just as easily. She flits from one room to another, not initially noticing that she’d dropped her uniform onto the floor. She flashed back towards her bedroom, getting her to stop and hover in place. “Well, how did that end up there?” She reached down and picked up her uniform blouse, noting the two stars on each shoulder. That actually gets her to stop and smile. She’d worked so hard and so long to get to this point. She’d not only become a Wonderbolt. But is now leading the elite flying team for the EUP corps. She flitted over to her closet and hung up her uniform, taking a moment to smooth out the creases in the shiny fabric from being crumpled on the floor. Before closing the door, though, she ascended a bit to check the upper shelf of the closet.
“I don’t keep books here. Where could it be?” She mumbled to herself softly.
Rainbow Dash huffed heavily. Hours of searching her enormous house hasn’t produced the fruit she desired. She stopped, floating in place. Visions of a funeral, a mustard yellow pegasus pony, with shades of gray in her mane flashed through her mind. That got her to shake her head, no, it’s impossible for AK Yearling to be dead, that mare looked ancient, well over a hundred years old. It couldn’t have been that long since AK had signed her book for her, could it? That’s completely impossible. She tapped the side of her head hard. “Come on Rainbow, keep in the present.”
“Come on, where is it!?” She had been at this bookcase at least five times in her search. She hovered twenty meters above the first floor in her entry foyer at the book case that had her most cherished books. She didn’t want to damage them, so she floated left to right slowly as she inspected the spine of each one, her mouth moving silently as she read the titles. With a growl, she flashed down to the floor and headed into her bedroom for the tenth time. She’s got a good collection of books, but the collection was scattered all over the house. For the hundredth time she resolves to catalogue every book and build a library in her bedroom, it would just take a few hours of cloud shaping, then she’d have to find and pay for a unicorn to seal the book cases, since a book’s number one enemy is moisture, and without magical sealing, a cloud house is nothing but moisture. But as always, the resolution faded from her mind as other thoughts push their way to the forefront.
A wash of memories came. Sizzling breakfasts, miserable sicknesses, boring train rides, the head of a mate holding her close as something pulsed behind her eyes.
When the flood left, it was dark.
Eventually the frantic searching with no results finally tired out the pegasus, who looked over at the city on the mountain. She smiled as she fluttered towards the ground. She went off towards the train station in Ponyville. There was one pony that she knew that could help her. She heads off to the train station in the city of Ponyville. Her small pegasus style golden shoes ring on the concrete of the finely paved streets. Her only stop before entering the large maglev train is the ticket counter, where she purchases her ticket for the hourly fast train to Canterlot.
After the train ride, Rainbow Dash was uncharacteristically grounded as she moved through the city. Instead of flying through the air as she usually did, she’s walking. That is something she usually only did with her friends. Being a pegasus of exceptional strength, she usually preferred to be in the air. The Royal Castle was her destination. A place she had visited more times than she could begin to count. One of her best friends in the entire world lived there. The pony responsible for the day and night, the pony responsible for spreading friendship all throughout the world. She crossed slowly over one of the numerous bridges joining the various levels of the city on the mountain known as Canterlot, she glanced down at the placid water. She remembered when that lake was a house. She shook her head, memories fading as she continued on her walk.
“Good afternoon, Rainbow Dash.” The voice broke her from her reflection for a moment.
“Oh, hey there,” she said absentmindedly to the royal guard. The guard lit her horn to open the massive door for the pegasus. Dash nodded thanks as she walked through the door. Oddly, she finds herself having trouble remembering the guard’s name. She shook her head before moving further into the castle.
The marble of the castle was pristine, cleaned and polished meticulously by the staff of the expansive palace. She remembered the years of rebuilding after Tirek, Cozy Glow and Chrysalis had very nearly destroyed the entire castle, and a good portion of the city itself. The specifics of the repairs escape her memory, though. She shrugged her wings, she had never had the best of memory, she was a pony who preferred to live in the moment. She sighed and moved through the castle, greeting the staff as she headed towards the inner sanctum, where her friend spends the bulk of her time.
“Oh, Rainbow!” The familiar voice of Twilight Sparkle greeted her as the rainbow maned pegasus made it into the throne room. Rainbow smiled as the much larger alicorn grabbed her and picked her up to hug her tightly. “I wasn’t expecting you today! But I’m always glad to see you.” Rainbow hugged her friend back and for a long moment, the world was just fine. Two great friends enjoying their reunion after being apart too long.
Finally, that long moment ended and Twilight held her friend up. The look on Dash’s face caused Twilight to pause. “What is going on? You don’t look like your usual happy self.”
Rainbow shook her head. “I was looking for a book. My original Daring Do and the Quest for the Sapphire Stone. You know the one that AK Yearling signed for me? I’ve searched all through my library at home, and at the Friendship Castle in Ponyville. I’ve even searched through the library at the School of Friendship. I’m scared Twilight. It’s not anywhere. I can remember holding it in my hooves. And now…” She trailed off, confusion plain on her face. She looked up at the taller mare. “Maybe something is wrong with me? I can’t find a simple book. Yet I remember the last time I read it as clearly as I am looking at you right now.” She looked down. “My memory is so odd. I was looking for Scootaloo the other day, but when I asked around. Nopony knows that name. I remember her as a filly, and as the beautiful young mare she grew into. But now I can barely recall her face!”
That gets her gathered up and hugged tightly again. “Oh, Rainbow. It’s normal after so long. Ponies memories fade over time. Even those that were important to them will fade without the constant reminder of their friends.” The calm words are belied, though, by the troubled look on Twilight’s face. “Do you want my help to find the book? Perhaps it’s in the royal library here in Canterlot? You know, the librarian at the Castle of Friendship does shift books from time to time to keep the selection fresh. We have an excellent curator here in Canterlot, they might be able to find the volume you are looking for.”
Rainbow shakes her head. “It’s not just any volume of the book. It’s the first edition, signed by Daring Do herself. I remember it in my cloud house. I have hundreds of books at home. You remember, I had her sign my entire collection. I can find only two volumes of my collection, and touching them scared me. They are so fragile, it’s almost as though they are hundreds of years old.”
“Several thousand, Rainbow.”
Rainbow stopped for a long moment, trying to process the words. She shakes her head. “No, that’s impossible. It can’t have been more than thirty years or so since I got those books signed. Remember, I had you put a keeping spell on them, so they would last.”
Twilight nods. “I know, Rainbow. The keeping spell has preserved them fairly well, but with how often you tend to read them, they are worn by the movement and flexing of the pages. I can have new copies printed up for you, we keep the originals digitally preserved. It will only take a few moments to produce brand new volumes for you to read.”
A sharp crack of a hoof hitting the marble floor startled Twilight, she looked back at her friend. Rainbow was breathing heavily, her wings spread wide. “Something is going on here, Twilight. What is it?”
Twilight started at her. “Come with me, and we will find the answers you seek.” She moves for the doors, looking back. “You trust me, right?”
Rainbow flinched. “Of course I trust you, Twilight.” She takes a moment to fold her wings at her sides. “Lead the way.”
Twilight offered a happy smile and walked off, the cyan pegasus walked sedately behind her. Together, they moved through the castle, Twilight’s horn lighting to open doors, and allowing them to pass through wards. They got to a wide winding staircase heading downward. Before they descended, Twilight groaned softly as she focused her magic on the stairs, and what seemed to be open air parted like a shield was being forced apart. She gestured for Rainbow to hurry through before following herself. As she let her horn quiet, the glowing lines of the shield slammed together and became invisible with a loud crump. Twilight sighed softly. “That was the strongest of the wards. Easy sailing the rest of the way.” She chuckled. “Until we get to the bottom, that is.”
“There seems to be pretty tight security here, Twilight.”
“It’s here for a purpose, Rainbow. Trust me.”
“Of course, Twilight. Lead the way.”
Twilight looked at the staircase descending rapidly down. “You know, if we walked this, it would take hours.” She unfolds her wings. “We can simply glide down.”
That got a grin from the rainbow maned pegasus.
Together, they took to the air, at first not really going for real speed, they simply glide down the spiral, laughing with the exhilaration of flight. After a few dozen turns, Rainbow crowded up past Twilight, leading the way and getting the larger alicorn to push herself to speed up in the narrow space. She watched her friend streak before her, at first happy to be spending time with her. Then she remembers where they are going and by the time Rainbow backwinged in a large chamber before a door emblazoned with the Princess of Friendship’s cutie mark. Twilight is somber, she flapped her wings a couple of times to cool her body before folding her large wings at her sides. She offered an encouraging smile to her friend before she inserted her horn into a receptacle built into the door. She grunted as she poured magic into the locking mechanism, charging it to open the door. She pulled her horn out as the door started to move, sliding into the wall silently. She gestured for Rainbow to precede her and she followed her friend inside, the door closing slowly behind them.
Rainbow looked around. “It looks like your lab back in the Golden Oak library.” She ran a hoof along a table.
“Well, I do have a lot of the same equipment here.”
Rainbow frowned. “But you didn’t have nearly as much magical security there as you do here. Why?”
Twilight smiled. “Ever the smart one, aren’t you?” She walked through the enormous lab. “The security measures are here for a specific purpose. Not for the basic research, much of which I can do back up in the castle. That is where I’ve got the portal to that other Equestria, where the ponies are changed into those crazy two legged bodies. This place is very special, for myself and my friends.”
It seemed as though a cloud passed in front of Rainbow’s mind. Twilight watched her friend closely as she tried to process the new information. Surely it hasn’t been that long? She searched back in her memories. Oh yeah, it had been quite a while since the last time. For some reason, Rainbow’s inquisitive nature had brought her down to this place with Twilight quite a few times over the years. She sighed softly as she moved through the capacious lab. “I’ve established this place for one specific purpose. And the security is as tight as I can make it. Only I can access this room.” She smiled wanly. “Only I would really have reason to.” She almost whispered.
“If this is so important, then why did you bring me down here, Twilight?”
Princess Twilight Sparkle led her friend towards the back end of the lab. She finally pointed to a set of jars sitting on a table. Then she pointed to several sets of equipment, all covered in clear plastic tarps, to keep the equipment safe before it needed to be used again. But Rainbow seemed to find herself being drawn towards the jars. One of them in particular, almost sings to her ears. All of them are glowing faintly, but that one glows the strongest in her vision. As she got close she could see what was emblazoned on the lid of the jar. She looked at the symbol for a long time, her ears flicking back and forth as she processed what her eyes were telling her, her tail flicking, as though trying to swat non-existent flies around her. She turned back, looking at the identical symbol proudly on her flank. Finally, she turned and looked at her friend. “Why is my cutie mark on this, Twilight? Why does it…” She narrowed her eyes, trying to find the words.
“Call to you?” Twilight asked gently.
Rainbow nodded. “Yeah, it’s almost as though a part of me is in there, trying to talk to me. Why is that, Twilight?”
“Because that is a part of you, Rainbow Dash. That holds your soul, safe from anything that could harm it.”
That got the reaction Twilight had seen several times before. Rainbow stared at the jar in shock, then she backed up, shaking her head hard. “Wait a moment. My soul? How? Why?”
Twilight moved closer, putting a wing over the pegasus, giving her a physical grounding for her world being turned inside out. She had explained this many times, but what is once more in the grand scheme of things, right?
Out loud she said, “Do you remember the fight with Tirek, Cozy Glow, and Chrysalis?”
Rainbow thinks for a moment, before nodding. “That was a really close call, wasn’t it?”
Twilight nodded. “Four years, eight moons, and sixteen days after that, we had a celebration for the final rebuilding of Canterlot after the devastation those three caused. Do you remember that?”
Rainbow nodded again. “Oh, yeah, I remember that, it was a wild party.” She smiled fondly. “Applejack brought barrels of her families’ cider, as well as quite a few casks of the distilled variety.” That got a goofy grin. “We had such a party, I remember sleeping in the castle that night, I was too wasted to head home.”
Twilight nodded, a single tear running down her cheek, unnoticed by the pegasus as Rainbow continues. “I had to work the next day. I had formation practice with the Wonderbolts. I…” She stopped, her ears falling and her tail clamping to her rear. “I crashed that next day, I got tangled up with Surprise during a high speed maneuver.” She looked up at Twilight. “I remember hitting pretty hard.”
“Yes, you did, Rainbow.”
She shook her head. “I don’t remember much, but then it was weeks later, my body felt better, but everything was fuzzy. Like, my memories were scrambled.”
“Yeah, some memory fuzzing is a side effect of the procedure.”
Rainbow Dash narrows her eyes. “Something happened, didn’t it?”
Twilight nodded. “Rainbow, you died in that training accident. It was pure bad luck, your collision with Surprise broke your wing, and nopony was able to catch up before you hit the ground at half the speed of sound. Your skull was cracked, you had six shattered vertebrae, both of your forelegs were smashed. You were clinically dead for seven minutes. The medic at the base got a stasis spell around your brain before I was summoned. I bolstered the spell and it took a lot of careful work to bring you back.”
Rainbow looked at the jar. “Twilight, I’m a pegasus, I know what that kind of crash does. You don’t survive it. You don’t come back from that.” She frowned, looking up at Twilight. “How did I come back from it?”
“I couldn’t let you die!” Twilight snapped. “You are one of my best friends, you taught me to fly, you taught me to love flying. You embodied your element, Loyalty! I couldn’t let you die.” She stopped, reaching out a wing and touching the jar gently. That action caused what felt like electricity to run down the spine of the pegasus. “The stasis spell essentially stopped time within that bubble. It allowed me to learn what I needed to. It allowed me to construct what I needed to, to find some and develop other spells for the transference.”
“Transference? What are you talking about?” Rainbow looked at the jar, then at her friend. “You are saying you…” Her eyes widen. “You put my mind into that jar?”
That got a smile. “No, I put your soul into that jar, the part of you that is immortal, that will stay so long as it has a place to. I had to make a safe place for your soul. Your mind, your thoughts, much of what actually makes you…you, were actually put into a holding. That lasted long enough for me to construct…well, the new you.”
Rainbow’s eyes widen. “Construct…me? But I can eat, I have a pulse, I can’t be…” She frowns, her eyes narrowing. “I can’t be…” She looks up at Twilight. “What the hell am I?”
“You are Rainbow Dash, the pegasus, and my friend.” She reaches out a hoof.
Only to get it batted away. “So I’m some sort of…meat puppet? A fake pony?”
“Oh no, the technical term would be a golem. A magically animated body made of non-living matter. But in reality, you are pony perfection. Your body is constructed of the best composites, your muscles look and act like natural muscles, only magically enhanced. You couldn’t be injured by the same type of crash now if you tried. All of your organs are similarly made. You still have to eat, much of the same biological processes happen exactly the same as in your old body, except with far greater efficiency.” She smiled. “You don’t age, your brain is the greatest creation I’ve ever worked on. Your mind, your consciousness, what makes you…you, was the hardest thing to imprint on this new body of yours.” She shrugged her wings. “In fact, as I’ve upgraded you over the centuries, that part has become easier even though the mechanism is many times more complex. The transference is easier since I’ve learned how to do the process easier.” She gestures at the other jars. “What I learned with you allowed me to make the process simpler for the rest.”
“The rest?”
“Rainbow, look at the cutie marks. Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Applejack, they are here.”
Rainbow backed away. “No, no, no, I had dinner with Applejack just a few days ago. She can’t be. I can’t be. This is some kind of trick!”
Twilight sighed. “It’s no trick, Rainbow Dash.”
The pegasus shakes her head hard enough for her ears to flop. “But Fluttershy’s cutie mark isn’t here. Yet, I was helping her at her animal sanctuary just a month ago.”
That gets a sardonic smile from Twilight. “Discord informed me that if I tried to preserve his Fluttershy in the same way as the rest of my friends, he would hunt me down and do terrible things to me. That his chaos magic would make my existence an absolute living hell for all eternity. Besides, Discord is keeping her alive via his own magic. For as long as Discord exists, Fluttershy will as well.” She looks wistful. “She’s happy with a creature that truly loves her as much as I love my friends. And I get to see her all the time too, especially every moon at our friendship council.”
“Do the others know? That they are stuck in these jars?”
That got a short laugh from Twilight. “Pinkie doesn’t care. She’s able to go through life, running Sugar Cube corner and enjoying bringing laughter and friendship to everycreature she meets. Rarity is running her fashion empire, and spending a lot of time with Spike. I doubt she thinks about the process that allows her to live this long. And Applejack does know. And she’s been able to be the matriarch of the Apple Family for all this time. Helping new generations of Apples make their way in the world.” She cocks her head to the side. “Most ponies, and even some of our friends, believe that your connection to me, through the Elements of Harmony, have granted you the same immortality that an alicorn like me possesses.” She looked infinitely sad for a long moment. “But that is not the case. The elements were destroyed, and while the base magic that created them still exists. The Elements themselves are gone. And that means your connection through them to me also is gone.” She gestured at the row of jars. “This is why you still live, Rainbow Dash.”
Rainbow took a step closer to the line of jars. “How did you do it? How long did it take?”
“Six years, Rainbow. I had to research, learn, and develop all of this, in just six years.” She sighs. “Remember in fighting Tirek, I was blasted through a mountain. It hurt, it damaged me, but it did not kill me. Celestia explained what it means to be an alicorn. But she told me soon after I gained my wings that my connection to my friends through the Elements would allow them…you…the same life I gained when I earned these wings.” She looked down. “But you crashing and dying proved that she was wrong. I was terrified of losing you, of losing any of my friends. And your crash just showed me I had to do something.”
“You could have let me die. It was my time. Every pegasus knows that a bad crash can end us. We accept that, especially the speedsters. Live fast, love fast, leave a hole in the ground. That’s how it is for us.” She turned away and grumbled. “I wanted to leave the biggest hole.”
Twilight whirled around back towards her friend and slammed a hoof into the crystal floor. “Not good enough, damn it! You are my friend. I would give anything for you. I need you. I need all of you! What makes you think I can accept immortality if it means leaving my friends behind. To watch you grow old and die like I watched Rarity before I brought her here? To watch a friend’s body waste away because of a manticore sting got her right in the spine and paralyze her before I restored her like I did with Applejack? I couldn’t do that to myself, I couldn’t let it happen to you!” She turned away and sat down, her ears drooping.
Rainbow took a step forward and put a hoof on the larger mare’s withers. “You would make new friends, Twilight. Celestia didn’t have a secret lab where she keeps her friend’s souls to keep them alive. She’s probably had to say goodbye to thousands of friends, and hundreds of faithful students over the thousands of years she’s been alive.”
Twilight whirled back to face Rainbow. “If I had saved every pony that meant something to me over the centuries, the entire mountain would be hollow, and filled with racks of souls. I’ve said the final goodbye to thousands over my time ruling Equestria. But this, I only did it for the absolute closest of friends, you, Pinkie, Rarity, and Applejack, and a few others.”
“What about your brother? Why is he not here?”
“Don’t you think I wanted to save my own brother? His wife, and his daughter are both alicorns. They are immortal as well.” She screams. She breathes heavily for a long moment. When she continues, her voice is tightly controlled. “When Shining Armor was quite old, nearly a hundred-fifty years old, I approached him. If he had said no, I would have done it anyway. I’ve gotten really good at editing the memories of these wondrous bodies of yours. But Cadance stopped me.” Her voice lowered to a growl. “She said it was unnatural, that his life, his legacy would live on in her, and their daughters, and their sons. She said that is how ponies gain immortality, not through the dark magic that I used.”
“Well, that’s how it usually happens.” She stopped, her eyes shrinking to pinpricks. “Scootaloo, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle?”
Twilight sighed. “They are long gone, Rainbow. Applejack asked me not to perform the procedure for her sister. She had a long, happy life. All of them did. They found love, they had foals, and their lives passed into history. Their foals did the same, and life continued. Remember, back then the population of Ponyville was what? Fifteen hundred ponies or so? You know how many ponies live in Ponyville now?”
Rainbow narrowed her eyes. “I don’t know, I haven’t really paid attention. Between our friendship council, running the Wonderbolts, and everything else, I wouldn’t know, Twilight.”
Twilight sighed. “The population of Ponyville is now over half a million ponies, Rainbow. Can you tell me how long you’ve run the Wonderbolts?”
Rainbow searched around in her memories. “I don’t know, why don’t I know? The Wonderbolts are the most important part of my life with the exception of our friends.”
“That is one side effect, though I think it’s time for an upgrade for you, Rainbow. You have nearly four thousand years of memories, it stands to reason that recalling all of them is difficult for you.”
“FOUR THOUSAND YEARS!!!!!”
Twilight’s ears flinched back at the volume. She nodded. “Yes, Rainbow. We have seen hundreds of generations of ponies grow, live, and die.” She offered a tremulous smile. “And with some work, you can keep going and train new generations of fliers, you can find new speedsters, you can continue doing what you’ve been born to do.”
“What I died doing, you mean.” Rainbow said bitterly.
“Pardon?”
Rainbow worked to control her breathing. She flapped her wings a couple of times, trying to regain her senses. She looked up at the Princess of Friendship. “Twilight, I am dead. I died in that accident.”
“No, you are here now, I saved you!”
Twilights words were cut off by the sharp crack of a hoof hitting the crystal floor. “No, my body died, I died, while you managed to preserve part of me.” Twilight opens her mouth to speak, only to be shut off by a hard look from Rainbow. “For years, I guess centuries, I haven’t really paid attention to the passing of time, I’ve done my duties as leader of the Wonderbolts. I’ve gone on friendship quests with you and the others. We’ve defeated those who would harm Equestria time after time together. I’ve felt the magic of friendship, I’ve felt the power we possess together.” Tears are falling fast from her eyes. “But that wasn’t me, it wasn’t Applejack or Rarity, or Pinkie Pie. It’s a machine, animated by magic. I’m not really here. I’m there.” She pointed at the jars. “Safe in a jar, and I can feel a connection to it. When you touched it, I felt it.”
“Well of course…”
“I’m not done!” Rainbow shouted. She breathed heavily for a long moment. “I’m not the Rainbow Dash you knew. She’s dead. I’m a…copy. I have some of her memories. Hell, I don’t even know what’s going on in my skull if I am having trouble believing four thousand years have passed!”
Twilight reached out, touching Rainbow’s cheek gently. “That’s where you are wrong, Dashie. Your soul, what makes you the pony you are, is here, but it’s in control of that body. That body could be destroyed, and I’d have to build you a new body, but the magic that animates you doesn’t come from me directly.” She turned. “Follow me.”
Rainbow sighed before following Twilight to another part of the lab. Twilight sits on her haunches, wrapping her tail around her rear. “You see these?” She pointed to a set of several devices gleaming on stands on a large work table.
“Those almost look like…”
“Brains. Yes, they are the same size and shape as a pony’s brain. Every so often I come down here, to work on eventual upgrades for you and the others. Over time, the ponies have evolved. And I’ve included those upgrades into all of you. It has been a lot of effort, but all worth it to keep you girls going. The average pony is seventeen percent taller than that time, cranial capacity is up by nearly twenty percent. Your legs are thinner than they were, with smaller hooves, especially among the pegasi, who also have much larger wings. And your magical capabilities are quite a bit larger than before. If I were to construct a body to be identical of what you were when you crashed, you would be anachronistic. But the way I built you all, you look like modern ponies, yet you have the life experience of several hundred generations.”
“That I can’t remember.”
Twilight nods. “I’m getting to that. My early design slavishly copied your memories from the old to the new. But after a few hundred years, and this happened with all of you, started having troubles. Even a simple memory recall would cause you to essentially pause as you sifted through hundreds of years of memories. I worked to increase the processing abilities, but that could only do so much. So I worked on the file structure, on how your new brains searched through memories. That helped for about a thousand years.”
Rainbow’s eyes are wide. She mouthed a thousand years slowly.
Twilight continues. “Well, even optimizing your memory structure only helped for that time. But it became apparent to me that it wasn’t going to last.” She looks down, a few tears falling. “So I had to make a decision.”
For the longest time, there is silence in the laboratory. Only punctuated by the occasional sniffle from the alicorn. Finally, Rainbow moves up and puts her hoof on her friend’s withers. “I think I know what you did, you edited our memories. You deleted my memories. Didn’t you, Twilight?”
She looked down, tears falling.
“Didn’t you?” Dash said firmly.
Twilight drew into herself a bit.
“DIDN’T YOU?” Dash screams.
“Yes.” Twilight says almost too softly to hear.
“Damn it! What have I lost? What have all of these ponies lost?”
Twilight whirls to face Dash. “It’s not much different than how natural memories work, Rainbow. I’m immortal, but the self-editing parts of my mind edit out memories that I don’t think about, to make room for new. Though with my magic, I can remember a lot more than an average pony can. But I am burdened, with my memories, every single memory of yours, of Applejack’s, or Rarity’s, or Pinkie Pies, or any of the ponies that I’ve preserved like yours, I had to experience them, to feel them to know what to delete, what was unimportant. I’ve had to live all your lives, your loves, your heartbreaks and anguish, to go along with the good times, the happiness, the friendship you’ve experienced. I’ve rooted around in your head more than YOU have!” She stands there, her wings extended and vibrating, breathing heavily. “You don’t remember your herd, I had to pull those memories from you, because you were so heartbroken when Prism died. Your foal, Rainbow, your beautiful foal that was a mere ten years old! You had her only a few months before your crash. You had found love, too. But when you were brought back, you had missed six years of her life, because it took so long for me to fix you! But you were an amazing dam for the years you spent with her. Her death nearly killed you a second time.” The tears are flowing from the alicorn’s eyes now. “I comforted you as you cried, I felt your pain as I removed those memories, easing your pain. I sacrificed so much for you, for ALL of you!”
Rainbow stood there, a hoof lifted, her wings spread in shock. “I had a foal?”
“YES!” Twilight screams. “You found love, I remember your terror when you found out you were pregnant, your joy as that life grew inside you, and your elation at her birth. And a mere four months after her birth, her mother died!” She turned and walked, pacing back and forth. “I had to keep her spirits up, I had to help raise her, while I worked frantically night and day to fix you, and when that failed, to build you a new body, and a brain that could work.” She stopped, her voice getting small. “The magic I had to learn, much of it was forbidden knowledge. I spent months in the restricted sections of the Canterlot Library. And in the end, I had to develop much of the magic to animate that body from nothing. No magic existed to project your soul, you, into that body, so I had to make it. And after years, I was able to pierce the holding, to extract your brain so I could transfer everything on it into the new body. It was days where I was a magical conduit, I experienced everything, every feeling, thought, and emotion as I extracted you from your brain, and put your soul into the receptacle, and your memories and thoughts into control of that new body.” She lit her horn. “I kept that original brain, until this new one it was my finest magical creation.” She turned away. “A few years ago, I finished work on your newest iteration.” Her horn lights, illuminating a set of lights.
Dash stood there, her mouth dropped open. Several glass and metal devices are standing there, full of some sort of liquid. Inside is her, an absolute perfect recreation of Rainbow Dash. Next to her is Pinkie Pie, a glance shows copies of Rarity and Applejack as well. She glances behind the pods, a work area is showing, a black skeleton, showing the wings, one of them has a horn, and two of them are apparently Earth pony shapes. She turned back to look at herself floating silently. She stared at herself for a long time before taking a hesitant step, she touched the thick glass. “A new body? Why?”
“I always make sure to have a copy ready, for each of you, in case you have a mishap. We’ve had to deal with enough dangerous monsters that think Equestria is easy meat. You’ve given your life to save us all more than once. But every time, I was able to eventually recover your body, transfer the memories to the new body. But this is an evolutionary design. Faster, stronger, and the brain.” She gestures to the golden orb. “Is faster when it comes to processing, it has more memory capabilities, you will truly be again a super pony when I transfer you into this new iteration.” Twilight said very softly.
“Hold up, transfer me? What if I don’t want to?”
Twilight turned to Dash. “For you, it will be easy, you will fall asleep, and then wake up in the new body. I’ll edit out this conversation, firm up the file system of your current memories. It’ll be like this never happened.”
Rainbow backed up, her rump hitting a lab table, her wings spread to the side in fear. “No, I don’t want that.” She looked down at her forelegs. “I don’t want this, Twilight. Let me go, please.”
One of the alicorn’s eyes twitches. “No, that’s not acceptable. I’ve died once, and while the end result was good.” She lifted up a wing. “I worked too hard, I sacrificed too much to simply let you go, Rainbow Dash.”
“Hold on, wait a moment. YOU died?”
Twilight took a few steps away before turning back to Rainbow and sitting down, curling her flowing tail around her rear. “When the elements took me, after I fixed Starswirl’s spell. All that energy, all that power, went into my body. I could feel myself being taken apart atom by atom. As the power surged, I accepted my fate. Then I was between this world and the next, with Princess Celestia coming and joining me.” She looked at Dash for a long moment. “Celestia doesn’t handle transitioning ponies to the next life, that’s Luna’s job. For me, Celestia was happy to see I had done what other ponies hadn’t been able to. Created new magic, a new expression for the energy in our world. That caused the Elements of Harmony to surge, killing me, and sending my soul to that place. I was reformed, I was given wings, pegasus aspects, and I was given the unique aspects of the Earth ponies, to add to my natural unicorn characteristics. I was made anew, into this body you see here.”
“I didn’t consent to this!”
“Neither did I, but it was for the best.”
“Twilight. If you had asked, I would have said no!”
Twilight blinked a few times. “What?”
Dash worked for a long moment, bringing her wings to fold comfortably at her sides. She took a deep breath. “Twilight, I never asked for this. I’ve never been afraid of death. I’ve always enjoyed experiencing life. I’ve always taken great gulps, fly fast. I’ve flown faster than any pegasus ever. I’ve lived life. And it was amazing.” She looked down. “And apparently I’ve lived more than I should.” She looked back up, venom in her glare. “Because you took my death from me.”
“You were unconscious, it’s not as though I could get your consent.”
“Then you needed to accept what happened, Twilight. You needed to accept that I was gone. I’m a simulacra, I’m not the Dash you knew.”
“Yes you are, I preserved everything.”
“But that body, with my soul in it, is long gone, isn’t it?”
“Your soul is right there.” She points.
“Yeah, right there! It’s not in me, it’s not a part of me. It’s some kind of video game, what you see here is not me!!!” She stalks over to the jar. “What makes me me isn’t just the memories, which you decided to edit without my consent. It’s a combination of everything, my thoughts, my consciousness, my soul, my memories, all wrapped up together. You can’t subtract one part, edit another part, and keep me being the pony I was.” She reached up, touching the jar and ignoring the electric feeling all through her body. “I am not me without me inside.”
Twilight steps up next to her. “If your soul was with your body, you could be lost forever.”
“I’m lost now, Twilight. I’m not complete. Feel the energy there. What do you feel?”
Twilight reached out a wing, then she recoils. “Turmoil.”
Rainbow nodded. “A soul separated from where it belongs. I’ve never really understood why I feel the way I do. At times, when nopony is around. When I am alone with my thoughts. I’ve felt chaos inside me. Turmoil, even pain. And until today, I’ve never understood why.” She looks at the jar. “This is why, this is why I can’t sleep well, this is why I search for things that comforted me when I was younger, like my books.”
“I can work on that, help lessen that feeling for you.” She stumbled to a stop at a raised hoof from Rainbow Dash.
“No, Twilight. The only way to fix it would be for my mind and my soul to be truly reunited.”
“It’s natural to have some pain in the process. Celestia knows how much pain I went through to make you. To fix you.”
“No, Twilight. You don’t understand. You are complete. You are a fantastically powerful alicorn with powers that nopony could ever conceive of. I am a machine, a golem, with her soul stuck in a jar! YOU CAN’T FIX ME!”
The strength of the pegasus shouting was enough to have Twilight pin her ears back and sit down heavily. “But, Rainbow, I need to fix you. I need you.”
It’s Rainbow’s turn to pace back and forth. “I said, I can’t be fixed. I’m in pieces, and building me a new body isn’t going to change one single thing. No amount of advancement in processing, no amount of extra storage will ever fix what happened to me. I was a pony, now I’m a thing. A monster, with abilities greater than any other pegasus.” At Twilight’s opening her mouth, Rainbow snapped. “You said it yourself, I would be a super pony with this new body. So that means I was a super pony when you designed this one.” She digs into her cheek. “I’m not real, I haven’t bled in any time within my memory. The last time I remember being injured, I woke up after in your lab.” She narrowed her eyes. “In here, right?” She waited for the slow nod before continuing. “I woke up in here, to your smiling face and telling me that it took a lot to heal me.” She had broken the skin, revealing the dark material of her jaw.
“I should be in pain from this.” She yanked, hard, pulling a long strip of fur and skin from down her neck and her chest. “I should be screaming. And I can feel it tearing. But no pain. I don’t feel pleasure how I used to. A great meal, a massage by a lover. A kiss.” She stopped, her eyes widening. “I haven’t had a lover in how long? Why? Because I don’t have the hormones anymore. I don’t have the drive to perpetuate my species. I’ve had both stallions and mares interested in me over the years. And I blew them off! I didn’t care. I was happy with my life, and didn’t want those complications. Because I didn’t have the drive, the desire, to build a family.”
She whirled away, “I was fulfilled, for the most part, by my work, by my friendships with you and the other ponies. But the regular ponies, the ones who live all over Equestria, I’ve ignored them. Because I wasn’t complete. I never understood it until now. Because I didn’t have that longing. That desire to make a family.” She reached up and grabbed another strip of the skin and flesh, another yank showed more of the underlying structure. “I’m nothing but a fake pony. And I demand you end this!”
Twilight sat there, tears flowing. She looked at Rainbow Dash with huge eyes. “Dash…I…”
The pegasus whirled away. “I don’t want to hear it. End this experiment. LET ME DIE!” She stopped, tears flowing down her muzzle. “Please, release me. I died four thousand years ago. What is left is not me. Please, Twilight.”
“I can’t.” Twilight said softly. “I can’t let you go. What will I do without you?” She looked around the lab. “I did all of this, for you, and the others. The effort doesn’t mean much, I am permanent, like Celestia is, like Luna and Cadance and Flurry. But I’m the Princess of Friendship. What is the Princess of Friendship without her friends?”
Rainbow streaked towards Twilight, landing with her forehooves on Twilight’s chest, she put her disfigured face right up in front of Twilight’s tear streaked one. “You make new friends. New ponies are being born all the time. You told me yourself, Ponyville has half a million ponies living in it now! Surely a few ponies there deserve to be friends with the Princess of Friendship. Or the ponies in Canterlot. Or Baltimare! I cannot speak for the others you did this abomination to. But for me, end this.”
For a long time, Twilight sobbed. Rainbow stood there, letting the alicorn cry herself out. When Twilight ran a hoof across her face and blinked a few times. Dash looked at her. “Please!” It came out as almost a whisper.
Twilight stood up, spreading her wings. “I heard what you said. And this is far worse of a reaction than other times I’ve had to explain this to you.” She stopped, breathing heavily. “I will think on ways to fix you. I promise that future iterations will include such drives. I can’t make you fertile, can’t make you able to be a dam again. But I can give you the feelings you desire.”
“No. No! No! Don’t fix me for your enjoyment. Twilight. End this. No more, let my soul rest.”
Twilight shook her head emphatically. “No, I’ve invested too much, I’ve sacrificed too much to simply let you die.” She folded her wings at her sides. “I will make sure to remove this time from your memories. You will simply go to sleep, and you’ll feel better when I wake you up.” Her horn brightens. “I’m so sorry, Rainbow.”
Rainbow flashed forward, a hard hoof impacting on the alicorn’s horn. The magic aura faded out as she tumbled onto her back. Rainbow leapt to the table, gathering up the jar with her cutie mark on it. She lifted it high in the air. “No, since you won’t. I will. You don’t get to call me friend. You betrayed me.”
“NO, PLEASE!”
Rainbow paused for an instant. “I’m sorry Twilight. I still love you. But this must end!” With that, she threw the jar at the crystal floor, the crash of the shattering jar is punctuated by a bright flash of light and energy, enough to blow Twilight and what was Rainbow Dash back. The body collapsed bonelessly as Twilight struggled to get to her.
Twilight stood up, her wings simply hanging limply and dragging on the floor. She leapt towards the body of her friend, gathering her up. Her horn flashes a few times before sparking to life. She enfolds the remains of the jar, miraculously the lid, with the tri-colored lightning bolt descending from a cloud, survived. She gathers it up, hugging both it and the remains of her friend to her chest.
“Oh, Rainbow.” She sobbed. “No!”
