This is so fucken awkawrd!

My ‘tour guide’ hasn’t said a fucken word since we started this tour except for a few word responses made with a deadpan tone.

“Kitchen.”

“Dining space.”

“Royal Gardens.”

“Royal Barracks.”

I looked around to see two half dome-shaped buildings, that reminded me of hangers. Beside them were smaller tent-like buildings where the sounds of shouting and banging were coming from. Every so often a pony covered in soot and grime would exit one building and enter another. Next to those buildings was a three-story tall building painted yellow with the words ‘Enchanter’ engraved over the door.

A little bit further away there were groups of mares sparing with each other in an open grass field, and next to them were dirt circles that had single pony mannequin-looking things. That was the direction that we were heading towards first. Once we were close enough I was able to pick details of the mannequin. It was made out of wood and took on a feminine appearance. There were breaks within the body particularly around the joints. It didn’t have a face per se but it did have indents that created a faux face. A soulless stare greeted me as we approached the area.

“What are those,” I asked Sunset, pointing at the dummy.

“Training dummies,” a soft monotone voice answered. A voice that did not match Sunset’s.

I turned around just in time to a small unicorn walk by me. When I say small I mean small. Most ponies, except for Celestia and Candence who are roughly my height if not an inch or two higher, came up to about my shoulders on average. This unicorn only came up to my chest. Minus the horn. Her form was wrapped up in a tight lithe body covered in dark grey fur. Her mane was that of a strawberry with a creamy center and it was pulled back into a ponytail. A pair of red-framed glasses hung on her tiny nose that brought her sky-blue eyes into focus. She was dressed in a pair of dress pants that flared out around her ankles. The unicorn had on a dark brown apron that had pockets that bulged with crystals of all sorts of shapes, colors, and sizes. Under her apron, she had on a black tank top.

The Unicorn went up to the training dummy’s back and began to tinker with it. There was a hissing sound before the Unicorn pulled out a dull blue crystal and placed it into her pouch. When her hand came out again it had a bright blue crystal. She then placed the crystal into the back of the dummy which hissed again before it jerked.

“That seems pretty advanced technology, which is surprising,” I muttered and I turned to Sunset to ask a few questions when the unicorn spoke up

“Not really,” she said as she walked up to us, “These dummies have been around for a couple of centuries.” The unicorn then adjusted her glasses and looked at me with narrowed eyes. “You must be the 'human’ that the serving staff was gossiping about.”

I let out a nervous chuckle, “Good things I hope,” I said as my fingers intertwined

The unicorn just stared at me, her eyes still narrowed.

“Ah knock eh off, Crystal,” an accented voice to my right, “Ya’ gonna scare tha’ little colt.”

With a frown, I turned to the source of the voice to see…

…leathered covered golden tits.

Muscles flexed as the pony crossed her arms under her breast. With wide eyes, I slowly looked up to see the owner of the knockers in my face. Standing before me was a tall earth pony mare.

She had golden fur that had splotches of soot all over. Her black mane was cut short and had a few strands that rested over her green eyes. She wore a leather apron over what looked like a black shirt, although that could have been soot and some kind of leather breeches. I let out a gulp at the absolute mass of a pony in front of me. She was at least a foot taller than me and was easily the tallest pony I have seen since coming here, and considering I’m about six feet tall myself that saying something. The mare looked down at me with a smile.

“Ya cuter than I thought ya be,” the mare said as her eyelids lowered halfway.

Mommy.

“Now who’s scaring him, Golden Slice,” the unicorn, Crystal, said as she walked up to us. The height contrast showed itself between the two ponies and myself.

Badonkadonks

“Ah just ben’ friendly,” Golden chuckled as she grabbed my shoulders and pulled me into her with my head resting in between her breasts. “Afta’ all Her Highness told us to treat him with ta ut’ most respect.”

Melons

“Yes as an honored guest, not a play colt,” Crystal chided as her arms crossed over her chest. “I’m sure this isn’t what Princess Celestia had in mind.“

Fuck, get your mind out of the fucking gutter.

…funbags.

Goddamn it.

Them titties through…

They're not even that big.

HA! You were looking!

Fuck my life, just raw dog me.

With heat burning my face, I spoke up, “Um, excuse me,” I said, gaining the pony's attention. “I uh…” I was at a loss for what to say. “My name is Sean.”

“Ya, so adorable,” Golden said as she picked me up into a hug. “Ah, think Ah gonna keep ya.” The massive earth pony said as she began to rub her face into mine.

I looked down at Crystal who sighed and turned to Sunset, “Lady Shimmer I apologize for my companion’s behavior. I promise she is harmless.”

That got Golden attention and she stopped “Ah Lady Shimmer,” Golden chuckled as she threw me over her shoulder. “Didn't see ya there.”

“Sure whatever,” Sunset dismissed the apology with a wave of her hand.

Yo, what the fuck! Why am I being treated like a sack of potatoes?

My stomach decided that now was the time to alert everyone that I hadn’t eaten anything substantial.

I heard two distinct giggles after my stomach growled and I knew that Golden was one of them since I felt her body vibrate. The other I can only guess was Crystal considering Sunset has been giving me the cold shoulder and a ‘go fuck yourself’ look.

“Let’s get this littl’ colt some food in him,” Golden said as she began to move.

“I can walk just fine,” I told her as I pushed myself up only to be brought down when Goldne adjusted her grip on me. Her tail came up and caressed my face. With a grumble, I crossed my arms and scowled at the ground.

Suddenly I felt a gentle tap on my ass, “Yo! Watch those fingers!” I yelled at Golden before I felt a squeeze. “That mean doesn’t pinch my ass!”

Author's Note

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

This chapter is a little short and quick, but I promise I'm working on a few big chapters to make up for it.

As you can tell from the title of the story I am working on changing names. Nameing things and people has always been difficult for me so give me your honest thoughts on the title. If you don't like it then maybe offer some alternatives.

Since I've been getting a lot of questions about the Why me and Elfen Human being connecting let me answer that.

No, while there will be some similarities between the two stories and some shared lines, both of these will be their own standalone stories. I might do a cross-over down the line, but that's it. I hope this clears up any confusion.

I'm going to try to update at least once a month. I've gotten to a point where I'm working on this story little by little each day. If I'm not working on chapters I'm working on storylines, editing, book outlines, and brainstorming. Hopefully, life won't get too crazy and prevent my momentum. Keep an eye on my profile page for blog updates.