Slide Me Some of That

by WriteWolf

Rating: teen
Tags: Smolder, Profanity, Random, Gallus, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy
Length: 1401

Some crap I wrote when I was bored and hungry at work.

Spike has been seeing carnivorous creatures at Twilight's School of Friendship bring in their own lunches. It's making him want to get his own claws on meat, but with meat being so rare in Equestria he's having a very hard time.

Published 2019-11-14 00:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-11-14 00:50:01 UTC

Just a Little Bit

“Gallus, slide me some of that.”

“What!? No, I only brought enough for myself.”

“I’ll hook you up with some gems.”

“I’m not a dragon I don’t eat that crap.”

“Damn!”

***

“Smolder, slide me some of that.”

“No way.”

“I’ll hook you up with some gems.”

“I have enough gems I don’t need any more.”

“Please, just this once.”

“NO! Why don’t you just go to the Dragon Lands and get some yourself?”

“Twilight doesn’t want me going all the way out there when she has work for me.”

“That's too bad; you're not getting any of my food.”

***

I just want some actual meat for once. Ever since I’ve been helping out around Twilight’s school more I’ve been seeing all kinds of creatures bring in meat. I thought I didn’t need or want any of that but when they open up them lunch boxes and the savory aroma of cooked meat bless my nostrils it reminds me that I am indeed a carnivore; I need that. I’ve been subjected to eating gems, chewing on tree bark, snacking on flowers, and having fake ass burgers for dinner. I’m a dragon and got me out here munching on dandelions; that is unhealthy. Then I gotta sit here and watch everybody else come through with barbecue, steaks, chicken, pork, all that.

To make matters worse now that I’ve awakened my dormant, carnivorous appetite, I can’t look at Applejack’s pigs the same. I wish one of them pigs would get lost again. I’m snatching him up and having roasted swine for the next three days. But naw I’m sitting here in the lunchroom with a bowl of gems like this supposed to do something. Then they gone have the nerve to ask me why I’m cranky. Y’all tried to give me salad for breakfast that’s why I’m mad. The closest thing I have to meat is chicken eggs. Telling me that meat got outlawed in Equestria; then why you trying to raise a dragon here then? They had to know that at some point the crap they been feeding me wasn’t going to do it anymore. Imma gone head and eat this for today though, not like I have a choice, but one of these days I’m getting my claws on some real food.

***

“Spike!”

“What’s up Gallus!”

“I got you.”

He sits right next to me and opens up his lunchbox. I can’t believe it, he came through in the clutch. Look at this thick ass roasted steak; steam still coming off it with the juices dripping. Got my mouth watering and my tastebuds jumping and I ain’t even try none yet.

“Thank you so much, I owe you one for real. Call me anytime you need me.”

“It’s just yesterday’s homework.” He gives me a few pieces of paper I didn’t even bother to read. “Besides you’re doing me a favor. I told Professor Fluttershy that I had it all done but I left it in the dorm. I was going to give it to her later but she had to leave to take care of her animals. She told me I could give it to you.”

“Wait what!?”

“Oh she didn’t tell you? I assumed she did since she told me to hand it to you. I spotted you in the lunchroom and figured I’d give it to you now so I wouldn’t have to track you down later.” He puts one of his talons on my shoulders and gives me a smile. “I appreciate it.”

“Hold up, I thought you were talking about the steak.”

He looks down at his steak then laughs. “Hell no, you're not getting none of this.”

You ever just die on the inside? Like something happen or you come to a sudden realization and it just crushes everything in you to the point where you don’t even know how to feel anymore? I don’t know what emotions I’m having right now and that’s assuming I having any at all, I’m just empty right now. I stare at him with my mouth open in absolute disbelief.

“Spike, you’re not getting any of my food. I have a hard enough time getting enough for me since I’ve been in pony land. I don’t know what you're going do, but that’s not my problem.”

“Come on Gallus don’t do me like this I’m struggling. I got contacts, anything you need I can get it for you. I just want a taste, just give me like, half of that.”

“HALF!?”

“Alright, half of that then.”

“Did you just ask for me a quarter of my steak? Look Spike I already told you, I got enough for me and that’s it.”

Dejected, I just get up and walk away still with his homework in my hands.

I should throw this in the garbage. It’ll probably end up in there anyways after she grades it. Stupid ass griffon, I just KNOW his ass failing. I can’t be mad at him though. He just trying to get his work done. I’ll turn in his homework like I’m supposed to. He still gone fail, but I’ll at least help him out with this. I’ll unlock the door and drop it on her desk for when she gets back and I’ll eat my “food” outside.

***

Sitting outside and enjoying the fresh air helps me unwind and bring clarity to mind. To put it bluntly, I’ve been losing it the past couple of days. Yeah I do want some meat now that I’ve been introduced to it but it’s really not that serious. I just need to chill out and relax. One thing for sure though, when I finish with all of Twilight errands and chores I’m taking a trip to the Dragon Lands. It’ll give me a chance to drop by Ember and see how she’s doing and I might even ask Smolder if she wants to come wi--

“Hey Spike!”

“Oh, hi Smolder.”

“Ha, gems again? Loser!”

Bitch, ain’t nobody ask you. She would sit down right next to me too. I swear on everything this-- oh dear Celestia. RIBS! I was cool until she showed up with this. She know what I’m going through too, that’s messed up. “You're sharing right?”

“You wish.”

“Yes I do wish, now slide that over.”

She picks up a rib and slowly puts in her mouth the long way. She has the entire rib in her mouth and has her claws on the edge of the bone. She clenches down on it with her teeth and starts removing the bone sucking and peeling all the meat off. I am so very conflicted. I’m feeling ways I’ve never felt before and I don’t know what to make of it. Only thing I know is that I want me some of that in more ways than one. “You foul!”

She ignores my comment. She drops the bone right in front of me and picks up another. Tired of her games I reach for a rib. She quickly grabs them and moves them around her body out of my reach. “Why are you like this?”

She sticks out her tongue teasing me. Fed up with this crap I blow small fireball at her face to distract her and maneuver around to grab a rib. I barely have one in my fingers when I feel her grab the back of my neck and pulls me away from them. She tosses me a short distance before I regain my aerial balance and fly back towards her. I shoot another fireball at her and she shoots one to match it. They collide and explode leaving behind enough smoke to cover me. I go into the smoke and before I can even see her clearly, her foot crashes into my chest hard enough to knock the wind out of me. I land on the ground coughing and wheezing trying to replenish my lungs with air.

Smolder stands over me laughing nearly to the point of tears. “I told you, you’re not getting any of my food. Go ask Twilight for some more gems and tree bark, or whatever they feed you.” With that she grabs her lunchbox and flies off somewhere still laughing.

I slam my fist into the ground upset, hungry, and humiliated. This will not be the end of this I swear.