Department of Magic and Machinery

by yuh

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Narcotics, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Science Fiction, Profanity
Length: 7158

A disgruntled Earth pony deals with the stress of his job and Canterlot's populace

Blitz keeps a steady pace, the papers on his desk never see a day pass before they are sent out, no design leaves his office at the Department of Magic and Machinery unimproved, he's never late, knowledgeable in his field, doesn't mind long hours, in fact, most of his coworkers don't have a problem with him, except one teeny tiny eency weency thing...

There's a Earth Pony sitting at his desk

It's him

Published 2019-11-21 00:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2019-11-21 00:10:02 UTC

1 Stamps and Salads and Schematics

"Magnitude is off... and acceleration due to... it's a negative force..." a voice spoke quietly to nobody in particular. "And... and what else... positive moment is counterclockwise... so total moment..." a quill began scratching the concerns and criticisms of its owner onto the blueprint, it's scratchy corrections stood out amidst a sea of blue and crossed over several lines carefully inscribed on it.

"Yeah?" another voice beckoned the its predecessor when it fell silent. It's owner rested her hoof on the handle of a food cart, patiently observing the beige stallion masked by a mop of light brown hair.

"Wait, is this whole... the hole print takes clockwise moment to be positive... unorthodox.." The quill tip poked and prodded a spot on the paper, bouncing in place as his owner wrestled with himself. He cursed internally for not initially fixing the diagram on a seperate sheet of paper instead of trying to solve the system of equations with the free body diagram of the blueprint. Whatever drop out decided to waste his time with this blueprint couldn't bother to stay consistent in their chosen force directions .

"Uh-huh," The second voice and it's owner commented, watching the stallion as he meticulously scribble next to, above, and on top of the hoof writing of the blueprint's previous owner. "Soooo... if you fix that magnitude and make it not unorthodox, then what will you get from the lunch tray?"

"Little Rock!" the stallion jerked upright almost throwing his quill, "don't startle me like that!"

"Develope a certain phobia of lunch carts?" She asked with a wry smile and a hint of smugness in her voice. A small horn lit up from underneath her light blue mane curls as she levitated up today's options. "OOOooooOOOoooh, watch out, they'll drip all over your work!"

"Cut that out," he protested sternly as he held a hoof up, taking her threat a little more seriously than she meant it to come across. His faced rushed to a more relaxed position as the smell of food wafted through the office, "-Caesar salad on the menu?" he rapidly inquired.

The plate in question floated forward in Little Rocks telekinetic grasp as the other choices were gently set back on the cart.

"Yes, but I'm supposed to bring this *particular* Caesar salad to a one 'Flux Blitz,'" she said with a faux Canterlot noble type sound. "Do you know where I can find him?" She asked as her smiled worked its way across her face as she pretended to eye the pony in front of her suspiciously.

Flux sat up, only slightly, his entire body deadpan as he raised a hoof and pulled his mane back where it belonged, revealing a face that matched his body language.

"Oh, Flux! Theeeeere you are! I was so worried, there was this weird disheveled colt in your chair just a moment ago."

"Yeah, I think he left to go strangle some trust fund philly," He glanced back down at the blueprints in front of him and felt a headache that he didn't even know he was having worsen. "It's like they are trying to kill me, every year they get dumber and dumber. Half the designs that find their way to my desk now feel more like a half finished system of equations. Pretty soon they'll just be drawing pictures and leave me to sort out whether or not such a design is feasible."

"Isn't that your job?" The Caesar salad slid back on its plate as the confused mare holding it asked him.

"No, my job is to decide what's practical and implementable, what actually merits funding from the crown. Not to serve as some sort of... equation spell checker!"

"But... you can't cast spells."

If Flux's face could get anymore unimpressed, it would have.

"I know. I meant spell as in to spell a word." He said almost lifelessly.

"How does a pony spell an equation?" Little Rock asked almost dreading the answer.

"Well, not like this! I can tell you that much!" Flux declared as his grabbed an all too familiar stamp.

"Uh oh." The Caesar salad was held back, its metaphorical eyes shielded from the worst thing that could happened in the Department of Magic and Machinery.

Flux almost slammed the stamp down into the center of the blueprint, fine splatters of ink squirting out of its sides as it slapped the paper with a wet plop as he frowned. He yanked his stamp up and almost took the blueprint with it, taking a moment to shake off the wasted paper as he returned his stamp to it's ink tray.

It was a motion he was all too familiar with, so much so that he had it down to a science. Usually, one kept their ink trays shut so they would not dry out. In Flux office the ink trays were used so frequently that there was no such risk. He placed his denied stamp back into its home. Flux slouched back into his chair as he ground, pressing his hoofs into eyes.

"It's a wonder I don't go through more ink" he commented as he looked down at his desk defeated by the bastard basement born blueprint.

Little Rook stood unmoved from her initial position, hesitantly breaking the silence "yeah... you should be going through more food."

"Ah," he sat upright, "yes, thank you very much." He reached out to take his sa-

The dish fell to the ground spilling the salad all over the floor of his office as Flux's face returned to its usual unimpressed assembly.

Little Rocks eyes shot open as panic came over her, "Oh Celestia, Flux I'm sorry, I didn't mean t-"

"It's fine."

"I'm so sorry, I can get another one from the co-"

"It's fine" Flux repeated lifelessly as stood pushing his chair under his desk and loosening his tie in preparation to walk to the cafeteria. He turned from the ink splatter on the blueprint to the salad splatter on the floor, then back and forth for several seconds as if looking for a resemblance.

Little Rock looked from the floor to Blitz sheepishly, "It was an accident, I thought you to-"

"Thought I what?" he asked as he headed for the door of his office.

"I thought you..." she trailed off as she realized what she was about to say. "... wanted to.... go eat at the cafeteria!" she said, her smile returning.

"Good save" Flux dryly commented as he walked out of his office.

Flux walked down the hall of the Department of Magic and Machinery as he made his way towards the lobby. Several incoming schematics sat stacked in bins on tables lining the hallway. Each bin marked the fate of each document. "Incoming", "Further Evaluation", "Theoretically correct."

Flux winced at that last bin. Any schematic that found its way into that pile was often *technically* correct in theory or application, but always had an infestation of math problems ranging from statics to physics and from physics to magical theory. He could go through the entire "Incoming" bin in the time it took him to do *one* "Theoretically correct" blueprint correction.

To be fair, Flux never found incoming schematic to be very challenging. Most went into the outgoing bin just as quickly as they hit his desk, neatly organized to two piles; approved or denied. In his office, there was no theoretically correct. He either worked it out then and there to save work for the next pony down the line or he denied it. It was a very simple system, and despite the accusation that he skimmed the documents, stamping approved or denied at his leisure, none of them every came back to him again.

Those that made it through the first round of scrutiny were reincarnated as incoming blueprints and needed one last approval before being sent higher up to seek a budget. Quite often, spellcrafters and engineers hated in when you wrote and their blueprints. Flux was *technically* supposed to do revisions on a seperate sheet of paper, but he'd often imagine the look on an engineers face when his blueprint came back with "Denied, -needs improvement."

Several doors along the office marked rooms identical to his, each one with its one table of schematics and blueprints waiting impatiently to be inspected, each one with it's own inspector double and triple checking the designs proposed, some going so far as to build small scale prototypes and replicas during their evaluation. The department workers took their job very seriously, as they themselves may come to use any design they approved if they managed to integrate themselves into the Crown's budget for public services.

Using an elevator that worked off of magnetic acceleration? Sure, no problem as long as you make sure the cross product on the blueprint is correct. A ponyless carriage? Better make sure brakes on that sucker actually work. What about an automated passport stamper? Cool, as long as it doesn't sling ink all over the place because the designer doesn't know shit about fluid mechanics. Flux recalled all of these incidents, not personally however, they occured before the department opened. In fact, such mishaps are the reason Crown funds created a budget for such a department. In fact, everytime the department began to suffer a budget cut, somepony somewhere would botch some schematic, it would slip through the system, somepony got hurt, and, like clockwork, the department's budget would return.

"Hey carriage puller!" A white coated unicorn mare with a light yellow mane called through his open office door.

Flux lazily rolled head over to face the pony.

"The sign on the building says MAGIC and machinery!" The unicorn called with a smug grin.

"I'll be sure to keep that in mind" he commented as he continued to walk out of the build. "Oh, Blinding Light" he called back, stopping in the middle of the hallway.

"What? Did you get lost already!?" The unicorn said with a half laugh.

"The next time you take the magnitude of a force with 3 parallel components, be sure to square *all* three of them before taking the root of the sum" he responded.

"O-oh yeah!?" the mare called with embarrassment at the reminder of a recent *miscalculation* she had made while
attempting to fix a blueprint. "Well the next time you need to evaluate a spell schematic, just send it to my office!"

Flux kept walking towards the lobby, the schematics and blueprints ruffling softly as he walked by.

As he passed under the last archway of the hallway, the building opened up into the lobby. The wide open room felt several degrees cooler despite the sunlight pouring in from the front windows. His hooves clicked against the tile as he looked up toward the ceiling, several schematics and a few blueprints flying throughout the air, each being colored with a telepathic field, each being sent to the respective destination in the Department.

Flux turned to face the front desk. It was far too long to be considered a desk, it was more off a bar with a few walls forming separate mock cubicles for each occupant. Photos, sticky notes, and reminders decorated the walls of each cubicle, it felt claustrophobic. Flux was silently grateful that his office was a little more specious.

The marble countertop of the frontdesk was almost as long as the lobby. Several unicorn secretaries sat typing away at their desks, cataloging where schematics and blueprints were coming from and where they were going, each of their horns aglow as they moved papers to and fro throughout the air.

If one were so inclined, they could look upwards and match the glow of a schematic to the glow of the horn of the unicorn secretary handling it.

The secretaries sat seemingly bored at their desks. Aside from the occasional yawn or stretch, they were almost motionless as they worked to pile up as much paper for the ponies in the department, the most experienced of which simultaneously catalogued what they were sending and where they were sending it as they worked. Sometimes, when Flux felt like he was amongst the fastest of the departments workers, he'd step into the lobby for a moment.

He continued to stare at the papers flying ceiling high until he felt like he might be getting motion sickness. Quickly remembering his destination, he turned towards the lobby entrance. When he reached the front, he sat down, the cold marble of the floor chiling his flank, and faced the room with a deadpan expression.

*ahem*

A secretary's horn lit up the door switch, completing the logic circuit, and the glass door opened outward.

"Thanks."

Flux definitely remembers the urge to stamp "DENIED" on that design, but the schematic was drawn far too well for him to justify it, and was able to tell if the user was walking into or out of the building based on the approach vector of the users magic, and would open the door in the corresponding direction. If he had known it would be implemented in his own department, he would have burned the blueprint the moment it touched his desk.

He failed to see the practicality in such a design, especially since pushing the door open would actually damage the engine on the frame of the door. "What's next around here?" he thought to himself, "magic activated stairs?"

Flux made his way onto the sidewalk that connected all of the department buildings. There was the Department of Agriculture, one of the first departments established. It sat next to the old Department of War building. The Department of war served little purpose aside from acting as a retirement home for veterans from some conflict from Celestia knows how long ago. Occasionally, some guards in training would enter the building to hear some glory pep talk babble something or other.

Of course, he dare not call it a retirement home to their faces.

The Department of War building sat next to the Department of Treasury, and Flux tried to think of it as little as he could. On the outside it might appear normal, in fact, it appeared identical to the other buildings, as they were all built on the same floor plan, but everyone knew better. Flux looked up at the front door of the building, several unicorns, all with white coats and black suits entered and exited the building at the same rate like clockwork. Their manes all cut mid length and died black, eliminating any ability to distinguish one from the other aside from the occasional glow of the horn or the name tags they all donned. Eyes forward, same gaunt, same lack of expression, same mane style. It was enough to send a shiver down his spine.

He quickly averted his gaze. The last thing he wanted was one of them to approach him and start asking him if he had filed his taxes for this fiscal period.

The department buildings sat in a row in front undoubtedly the most important building in the courtyard; the cafetiera. At this time of day, it was also the busiest building in the courtyard. Rumor has it, back when Equestria was still at odds with Minotaurs, they had planned to target the cafeteria specifically. Turns out, they'd watched canterlot from afar via telescope, and concluded that the cafeteria must be some sort of secret meeting room due to it's high traffic. Or so those old coots at the department of war say. Flux had to quit getting caught by them when leaving the building lest he get talked to death one day.

The doors of the cafeteria are so well used that they were removed entirely, opening up the cafeteria and allowing the crowd to enter much more quickly. Flux funneled himself though the opening, momentarily blending in with other department members as he entered the doorway and found himself on the other side.

Flux surveyed the tables in the center of the cafeteria, numerous food vendors and restaurants, not unlike the food court of a mall, sat all around the dining area. The search for an open table was cut short by a orange hoof waving in the air.

"Over here, I saved you a spot Flux!" the hoofs owner called out."

Flux waded through the incoming crowd, making sure to give Department of Treasury Ponies a wide berth, as he made is way to the vacant spot.

"Now isn't this a sight? Flux out of the office? Don't tell me he has to eat like everypony else?" The stallion seated at the table said, his greasy locks of dark orange hair hung down in clumps over his face, trying, and failing, to obscure the large smile he wore from ear to ear of his square face.

"You're one to talk Carrot Cake," Flux said as he seated himself, "if you get any thinner you'll break in half."

Carrot cake stroked the stubble on his face with mock consideration, "What kind of chef eats when their are still orders to be fulfilled?"

Flux looked down Carrot Cake's tray, the wrapper for a daisy and daffodil sandwich sat next to half eaten hay fries.

"I take it that kind of chef is you?" Flux answered.

"Bingo," Carrot levitated another hay fry into his mouth and made short work of it. "So, how's the office work treating you?"

Flux sat in silence, staring at the table top.

"... they still haven't installed any regular doors" he mumbled as his expression grew more irritated.

"Your kidding!" Carrot Cake half yelled as a piece of hay fry jumped from his mouth onto the table. "How many times have you written the department about it."

"Too many times. More than once is too many really." He said as he stared at no spot in particular on the table top. "The Department of Treasury keeps writing back saying 'they can't justify replacing a door just for the use of one department worker.'"

"Yeeeeah, that's a load of shit," Carrot Cake said as he shoveled more hay fries into his face. "Did you know that they ALSO justify the spending the Department of War requests for the busts displayed in the front lobby?"

"Yeah, but those are for patriotism or whatever."

"If by patriotism you mean ego." Unbeknownst to Carrot Cake, he was out of hay fries. Upon trying to levitate another, he picked up his fry boat and took a bite of it, and immediately spat the piece he bit off onto the tray.

Flux moved his gaze from the spot on the table to the bit of fry boat his friend has spat out.

"Oh come on!" Carrot Cake exclaimed dropping the fry boat, "That ALWAYS cheers you up!"

"Excuse me, is there a problem here?" A third voice, that of a mare's, broke the conversation.

Both of the table's occupants turned to face a member of the Department of Treasury who stood by the table, holding her tray with today's special, Daisy and Daffodil sandwiches, in her horn's telepathic grasp. She wore a slight frown, which only differed slightly from the usual frown most Department of Treasury members wore.

"O-oh no, we were just... uhh, leaving!" Flux blurted out as he began to get out of his seat.

The Department of Treasury member raised her hoof and then pointed it to her name tag. A motion that caused Flux to pause in the middle of standing up.

"Slick Bitt" the name tag read.

Flux's expression of shock morphed back to his usual expression of deadpannery. "When are you going to quit pulling that one Slick?"

"Well when are you going to quit falling for it?" Slick retorted as she pulled over a chair from another table with her magic and seated herself at table. She began unwrapping her sandwich. "So what did I miss?"

The two original occupants of table sat in silence.

"Ah, they turned down your request for a manual push pull style door did they Flux?" She answered to herself as she took her first bite into her sandwich.

"You know, you're perception scares me sometimes Slick." Carrot Cake said as he wadded the trash on his tray into a ball.

"No, I just proofread some of the outgoing letters for the Department, happened to see that one."

"It's like they are trying to drive me to quit." Flux said as he looked up to meet her gaze.

"Nah, I don't think it's that bad, I just think they view you as a liability." Slick answered.

Flux's gaze returned to the table. Slick was not exempted from brutal honesty Department of Treasury members develop during their work.

Carrot Cake shot Slick a quick glare as he turned back to Flux. "Don't worry about it, I'm sure they are just... having a challenging time allocating assets from the Crown into all of the n-"

"Actually we have rebuilt the surplus we once had before that whole 'Princess Cadence' wedding disaster" Slick nonchalantly interrupted in between bites of her sandwich, earning a glare from Carrot Cake.

"What?" she asked.

"It's alright, it's true, I guess I am just a financial detriment." Flux said as he laid his head on the table.

Slick opened her mouth to respond, but a quick glare from Carrot Cake brought her to take a bite out of her sandwich instead. The trio sat in silence for several seconds as Carrot Cake looked around the lunchroom for something to change the topic to.

"You knoooow, the line at subneigh is getting pretty short." He said with a sly smile, his eyes growing wide in excitement from behind his greasy dark orange mane.

"No," Flux said from the table top.

"Come oooon, it's been a while since you've had your, 'usual,' you know." Carrot said doubling down on his enthusiasm.

Flux picked his head off of the table and looked from Carrot to Slick when he noticed Slick's expression had gone from the usual Department of Treasury frown to a slight smile of anticipation.

"Please." She said in her monotoned Department voice.

"No," Flux said with a little less determination as he himself began to smile.

"Don't make me use my feminine wiles on you." Slick said dryly as she finished off her sandwich prompting laughter from Carrot Cake.

"Oh yeah, think I'm going celibate for a solid month after hearing that from you." Carrot said as he tossed his trash into a recycling bin (recycle or I'll kill you) and magicked his tray onto the stack that was building by the trash can. Slick turned and shot him an exaggerated wink, but because it was hidden behind her black department shades, he either didn't see it or ignored it.

Flux rolled his eyes as pretended to mull it over for a moment. "Why can't either of you do it?" he asked with faux innocence.

"Oh no," Carrot Cake said, "You aren't baiting me into saying anything rac-"

"Because you one of if not the only Earth Pony in all of the Departments if not in all of upper Canterlot." Slick said as if it wasn't the most obvious thing in Equestria.

"Damn straight," Flux said as he rose from the table causing both Carrot Cake and Slick to watch him with anticipation as he made his way to subneigh.

Flux surveyed the ingredients that lie behind the glass display of Subneigh as he fell into line behind a royal guard in training, marked by his 'Royal Guard Academy" shirt. A Department of Treasury Stallion agent fell into line behind Flux.

"So what will it be today?" The beige unicorn behind the counter asked the Department of Treasury agent.

"The usual." the guard in training answered hungrily.

The subneigh worker began to expertly craft the the sandwich, the ingredients all rising from their resting places and assembling mid air on garlic and cheddar baked bread. The condiments evenly spread themselves right before the Daisies and Dandelions landed atop of them, the sandwich folded in half as the sandwich deli paper wrapped itself around it.

"Yes!" the soon to be guard exclaimed as he took his sandwich and left his bits at the register.

"Hello, welcome to subneigh, what can I get you?" the beige unicorn asked in her customer service voice as she turned to face Flux.

"The usual." Flux said as he tried to fight back his urge to give his best shit eating grin.

"Oh I'm... sorry, I don't believe I know what your usual is, but I can make it if you tell me." She said as she gave her best customer service smile.

Flux did his best to hold his unimpressed expression, one he had learned from his time in the Department of Magic and Machinery. "Alright," he said trying not to smile. I would like flatbread."

"Six or Footlong?" She asked.

Flux's lips turned slightly upward. Oh yeah, he was going to make this mare quit her job today.

"Footlong please." He said almost sadistically.

"Alright, what kind of cheese?"

"Cheddar"

"Alright, and what kind of-"

"Oh, and swiss" Flux said cutting her off.

"Okay, but I am going to have to charge for double cheese, is that alright?"

"Naturally, oh, and add some provolone after the swiss." Flux was only getting started.

"O-okay" the beige unicorn said with a hint of confusion as she began piling cheese on the flatbread footlong. "What kind of veggies would you like?" she asked as she moved away from the cheese.

"Cucumbers" Flux said.

"Okay." Cucumbers made their way to the sandwich. "and what else?"

"Cucumbers." Flux was really had to fight the urge to laugh or at least smile as she saw the confusion on the Subneigh worker's face.

"So... double cucumbers?" She asked.

"No, just a little more, I'll tell you when to stop." Flux's deadpan response came.

"Oh, o-okay say when." the mare said as she began adding cucumbers.

"Oh darn, I forgot I wanted that toasted" Flux said with faux remembrance, "Can we start over?"

The unicorn mare stood like a deer in headlights for a moment before she snapped back into her customer service mode. "Sure, I remembered your order." She said with a hint of venom in her voice as she began compiling the ingredients.

"Wait, did you make it cheddar swiss provolone or swiss cheddar provolone?" Flux asked with concern.

"What difference does it make?" The beige unicorn asked, dropping her customer service voice.

"Oh, all the difference." Flux answered, "it's a delicacy where I am from."

The Subneigh worker stared at the earth pony in front of her for a few seconds before she assumed it was just an earth pony thing. She tossed the second attempt at taking his order aside, and then added cheddar, swiss, then provolone. "And how long did you want that toasted for?"

"Ten seconds."

"Are you sure you don't want to... toast it any longer." She double checked.

"No."

"Oh- so how long did y-"

"Ten and a HALF seconds" Flux answered.

"Sir, I can't do 10 and a half seconds" She responded.

"Sure you can, a half second is just a second, but only half of it. It's no different than asking for half a footlong really." Flux said as he flexed his inner smart ass.

"Sir, I don't think y-"

"If it's such a big deal to you, then just put in eleven seconds, but stop the timer right before it hits zero." He said holding his head high and his eyes closed. If he watched this mare's expression, he might lose his composure.

The mare scrunched up her nose in anger as she floated the sandwich into the oven and set the timer to eleven seconds. She eyed Flux suspiciously as the timer began counting down, and stopped it about half a second after 10 seconds had passed.

"Alright, what n-"

"Cucumbers," Flux said with a small smile.

Any hint of pleasantry the mare once had drained from her as she began adding cucumbers. "Alright, say when." She said.

Flux watched with little change in expression as she began adding cucumbers. He began to mull over some schematic he saw earlier for heated stools. It was alright, but there were several issues with the design. Power source, proper insulation, we wouldn't want a sweaty pony to get shocked now would we? There was no way such a schematic was ever going to dream about getting funding from the Crown for public implementation, but Flux new most designers sent whatever designs they could in just so they could put their name in the industry.

"Say when" The mare said visibly losing her patience.

"I will," Flux answered as he was pulled from his thoughts. It wasn't until half of the bin had been emptied of its cucumber that he said-

"When."

The mare gave a sigh of relief. "Alright, now what condiments can I get you." She said just wanting it to be over.

"Just vi-neigh-gar." Flux said.

"Okay, you know what, I think your bucking with me," the mare said losing her patients, "I think you're ju-"

Flux began an exaggerated mock sigh as he turned to the Department of Treasury agent next to him. "This is what it means to be an earth pony in upper Canterlot," he said as the subneigh mare's pupils shrunk to pinpricks. "I can't even order a traditional Earth Pony sandwich without being judged for my dietary choices."

The DoT agent turned to the subneigh worker, and although there was no discernible change in his expression, she could feel the judgement.

"I think I shall eat somewhere a little less judgemental, as it will affect my public image to eat here." He stated matter of factly before turning to trot away.

"Nonono, wait!" the subneigh worker cried. "It's just been a long day y'know? I'm the only one on shift, and Canterlot nobility came through earlier, a-"

"That is still no excuse for such behavior." Flux said as he began to turn away.

"Wait, you're order is on the house, both of you!" she pleaded as she began to sweat nervously.

The DoT agent turned to Flux, clearly looking to see his reaction.

"I suppose I could forget about it."

The mare breathed a sigh of relief as she squirted what ended up being half of the bottle of vi-neigh-gar on Flux's sandwich. Flux debated whether or not he should make the mare toast his sandwich for ten and a half seconds again as he moved towards the register to find his wrapped sandwich waiting for him.

The DoT agent behind him must have frequented Subneigh, as his order was already complete and laid next to his. Flux gave a small sadistic smile as he took the DoT agent's sandwich and ducked back into the crowd, making his way back to his table.

Carrot Cake was fighting for air when he returned to take his seat at the table.

"If that didn't get funny every time you did it, I would have reported you by now." Slick stated as Carrot banged a hoof on the table, growing red in the face as he tried not to laugh and draw attention towards themselves.

"A-Are you- are you actually going to eat that thing!?" He managed to say between bits of suppressing laughter.

"Oh, this thing?" Flux answered smugly as he unwrapped the DoT agents sandwich.

"No- No you didn't!" Carrot exclaimed as Flux took a bite of the sandwich.

-and promptly spat it out. "Hey! What gives!?" Flux examined the footlong to find that the only thing on it was dandelions. Just dandelions.

"Are you going to eat that?" Slick inquired.

"Buckin Department of Treasury agents," Flux mumbled as he slid the sandwich over to Slick.

"What's the matter, don't like 'traditional' unicorn dishes?" Slick said as she unwrapped the sandwich.

"That food must be high in nutritional value if you grew a sense of humor that fast," Flux said as he looked towards a wall mounted clock, checking the time.

"Yeah, it's the dandelions," she responded in between bites of the sandwich. When Flux stood from the table, she stopped herself from taking another bite. "Heading back so soon?"

"Yeah," Flux started, "department work has a tendency to pile up, and if it doesn't get down, the big pony upstairs will take any opportunity to fry my flank."

"You're preaching to the choir here!" Carrot said as he kicked his hoofs on top of the table.

"As if Carrot," Slick pushed his hooves off of the table, slightly disgusted as she was still in the middle of her sandwich. "What's the worst that can happen? Dishes start piling up?" She took another bite into her sandwich as if to punctuate her point.

"Yeah yeah yeah, Canterlot nobles are easy to cook for," he kicked his hooves onto the table again. "Besides, it's not like I can just throw the cake batter across my desk and leave it for tomorrow."

"I'll leave you two to work through this riveting debate." Flux said as he began walking to the cafeteria exit.

"Don't be a stranger!" Carrot called with a small wave as Flux made his way back into the courtyard.

Once out the door and through the crowd, Flux lingered a moment, allowing a small breeze to trace his face and push his mane back. The courtyard as laid out so everything was as open as possible. "The open layout helps ponies feel less crowded and more free," he recalled hearing from a Canterlot architect. "Glass building fronts help give the departments a transparent look," the words echoed as he found his way to the Department of Magic and Machinery stairs.

He looked up at the glass front of the building, the blueprints flying through the air catching his eye from time to time. "Department of Magic and Machinery" was chiseled into a sign at the height of the front of the building, in case any pony should forget where they were. The department buildings were near identical on the outside after all. Flux made his way up the stairs and to the front doors, where he was fortunate enough to catch a pony coming outside. He hastened his pace to catch the open door.

"Oh, let me get that for you," the pony leaving the building called, causing Flux to turn to his usual walking speed.

"Thanks," he walked through the door, only to stop himself midway. That pony was wearing a black suit. No, that can't be right. He pulled out of the doorway and turned to the pony holding the door for him. "Y- you aren't a- how did y-"

"Ohhoho, no, I'm not with your department, I'm from the DoS." The mare stated matter of factly. Flux started back at the mare, a blank expression on his face. "The... Department of Security," the mare clarified, "Sorry, I know the TLAs throw ponies off. Flux continued to stare at the mare. "Ha! See what I did there?" She continued, "TLA- three letter acronym."

Flux tried to bring himself to speak, but couldn't.

"It's rude to stare y'know, I mean, it's also rude to linger in the doorway, so I guess those two cancel each other out, unless standing in this doorway isn't such a big deal since there are several of them, but if is is the case that two rude actions cancel out, then you might want it to be such a big deal. I mean, I guess you could block two doorways at once and make it a slightly bigger deal if your goal is to cancel the two out, but otherwise, I think it would be better to stop staring, but I mean, I guess I can't blame you since I am not from your department and all, so I guess that makes me the rude one for interrupting your us-"

A sudden beep on her watch cut her nonstop stream of dialogue short as she quickly checked the time, "Ah buck, I gotta run, see ya around." She quickly ran down the stairs and in the direction of the Department of Defense, leaving Flux to linger in the doorway and watch her shrinking silhouette as she ran off.

"That was not a unicorn," Flux said to himself.

He should have asked for her name, when did she come into the building, did she open the door herself? If so, how? He asked himself as he trotted up to one of the secretaries, a young unicorn stallion named Ticker Tape.

Ticker Tape stood at his workspace, horn aglow through his short curly brown mane, only slightly darker than his brown coat, as he punched in several incoming and outgoing quantities of received, approved, and denied schematics and blueprints, but momentarily paused when he saw Flux approaching his desk. He silently prayed that this wasn't going to be about the magic actuated doors in the lobby again. "Hello Flux, what can I assist you with?" he stated dryly as he adjusted his glasses.

"That mare that just left-"

"Ah, the DoS mare, yes, she said something about delivering a schematic to one of our fellow employees, I didn't get a look at it as she was rather ahem insistent that she hoof deliver it," he said with mild irritation.

"Ah, did you happen to get her name by chance?"

"The DoS mare? The DoS mare with light grey coat, dark blue hair that faded to white tips, talks at about 500 gross words a minute," Ticker Tape pulled his glasses further down his nose. "No, haven't seen her at all," he added with extra venum to let Flux know that they were, in fact, not friends.

Flux's enthusiasm that had been building during what he had hoped was Ticker Tape affirmative answer vanished from his face. When he had first joined the department, fresh out of Canterlot's education system, he had hoped he could find a bit of common ground with him. He was the only secretary with coat and mane colors that were, well, not in with Canterlot's fashion sense. Momentarily defeated, he began to walk back towards his office.

He walked out of the front lobby and back towards his office. Maybe the DoS mare would come back through, and he could strike up a conversation, maybe she'll happen to drop her name. He paused in front of Blinding Light's office, maybe she had talked to her.

Blinding Light looked up from the schematic on her desk almost the very moment he stopped by the doorway. "What? Came to see how your job is really done?" she said with a shit eating grin.

Flux kept walking to his office.

He paused at his door and surveyed the hallway. The incoming designs were beginning to dwindle down and the outgoing were piling up. His share of the work all but finished, with only a few more schematics atop his desk. He opened the office door and found that the Caesar salad was no longer decorating the floor of his office. As he made his way to his desk, he noticed a small plate with a cover sitting over it resting next to his paperwork. In front of plate sat a small index card.

Flux,

I am sorry about the salad, I managed to get another one from the kitchen.

My bad,

-Little Rock

Flux pulled the lid off of the plate to reveal that there was indeed a Caesar salad under it. He trotted over to his chair and sat down, ready to close out the work of today while enjoying his lunch. As he pulled a schematic from the pile over to his work area, he noticed a small envelope slip out from the stack.

"Looks like somepony got the mail mixed with the incoming work," he thought to himself as he planned to casually mention the slip up to Ticker Tape in hope that it would embarrass him.

No, that's a dumb idea, there are like, ten department secretaries, so it probably wasn't him.

Flux turned the letter over and paused. Written on the front of the envelope where two words.

Flux Blitz

Flux stared at the envelope, almost uncertain, giving the envelope a chance to change its mind as he thought of who would have written him a letter. His taxes were paid, he hadn't messed up any blueprints recently. "It's probably just some Canterlot prick upset that I denied his design," he thought to himself as he began to tear open the envelope. The first thing he saw, was blue.

"No, that can't be right, it's illegal to send in blueprints without registering them at the front desk," he thought to himself as his pulse quickened. "I knew I shouldn't have opened it," he muttered to himself.

Well, might as well open it up all the way now, if he was in trouble, he was in trouble. He tore open the envelope and pulled open the Blueprint. His eyes quickened back and forth as he scanned all of the details, quickly trying to decipher the purpose of the design without reading it's title. He began to pick out several errors, several components of the design were oriented wrong, maximizing the work, and therefore the magic, that an operator would have to use in order to make it function.

Actually, now that Flux was looking at it, he didn't think it had a function. It was just a device that seemed completely designed to waste magic. What kinda joke is this?

He laid the blueprint down and studied and restudied it. With such meticulous attention to detail, there was no way this blueprint could be a cheap joke. In the past, his coworkers had left schematics for magic powered blenders and other such impracticalities on his desk as a joke, but this was different.

Defeated and unable to tell the purpose of such a device, his eyes hesitantly wandered towards the title, and widened in shock when they got there.

Anti magic barrier the blueprint read.

"What!? no way, who would ever n-"

His eyes shot over to red lettering on the blueprint. CONFIDENTIAL it read. Bouncing back and forth between the notice and the title did little to ease his concern. A letter with no sender's address with an unregistered blueprint containing a design that is potentially harmful to its user- who would design such a-

Flux's eyes almost shrunk to pinpricks as his sweat ran could. His day was about to get interesting.

Author: Moonlight Blurr -DoS

Author's Note

me write

if say good, thank you

but if say bad, please tell me what i do bad, also thank you

thanks,
-thank you

(if mistake be found, say paragraph # or quote it blease thanks)