Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Hooves

by alexmagnet

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy, Trixie, Random, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 22418

Illegal cage matches, ass-kicking, and time-travel abound when Trixie returns to Ponyville.

Illegal cage matches, ass-kicking, and time-travel abound when Trixie returns to Ponyville to challenge Twilight to a bare-knuckle boxing match. Why has Trixie come back? What does she want? Whose ass will be kicked? And what's up with the time-travel bit? The answers to these, and less interesting questions, can be found in, Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Hooves.

Published 2012-08-17 02:04:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-26 23:11:54 UTC

Bare-Knuckle Boxing?

Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Hooves

Chapter 1: Bare-Knuckle Boxing? Bare-Knuckle Boxing? Bare-Knuckle Boxing?

“Bare-knuckle… boxing?”

“Yep.”

Twilight stared at Spike, her eyebrows raised in disbelief. Now, Twilight had heard of great many things, she was the town librarian after all. Everything she needed to know was in a book somewhere, waiting to be read. She had seen several books on the different disciplines of martial arts, but in all of those she never once heard mention of bare-knuckle boxing. Twilight was left in a position she rarely found herself in.

“Okay,” she said, still trying to understand this whole ordeal. “Glossing over the fact that ponies don’t have knuckles—”

“Dragons do,” Spike said, looking at his claws as he flexed them.

“Shut up.”

After silencing Spike, Twilight began pacing back and forth. The sound of her hooves filled the library. Her eyebrows furrowed, Twilight was lost deep in thought. “Why would Trixie come back to Ponyville just to challenge me to a bare-knuckle boxing match?” she wondered. Twilight shook her head. What was Trixie thinking? “It just doesn’t make sense.”

“The fact that she came back?” Spike asked.

“No, of course not, I knew she would come back.” Twilight dismissed Spike’s silly question with a wave of her hoof. “Remember what she said when she left?” Putting her hoof down, Twilight straightened herself. Her voice became haughty and arrogant, her posture reeking of self-satisfaction, she said, “You may have defeated the Ursa Major. But, you will never have the show-stopping ability of the Great and Powerful Trixie!” Dropping the facade, Twilight went back to her usual levels of arrogance and self-satisfaction.

“I don’t know,” Spike said skeptically. “I didn’t hear anything in there about her coming back.”

“Well, it was there, trust me,” Twilight said, her voice a little bit Trixie-like. “I’ve got a mare’s intuition about these things.”

“Whatever,” Spike said, rolling his eyes. Twilight seemed to always have ‘a mare’s intuition’ about something.

“Oh, shut up. Anyways, I meant that it doesn’t make sense that Trixie would challenge me to a bare-knuckle boxing match.” Twilight looked down at her hooves, lifting one of them up to inspect it. “I mean, ponies don’t even have knuckles!” she said as she showed Spike her knuckle-less hooves.

“I think she was varsity or something,” Spike said.

“What?” Twilight’s eyes narrowed as she placed her hoof down.

“Yeah, I heard that she used to box in high-school. Apparently she was pretty good too,” Spike said matter-of-factly. “Or maybe it was college?” he added as an afterthought, tapping his chin.

“Right.” Twilight responded slowly, her eyes narrowing further. Spike had not likely heard that from a reliable source, but that was not what Twilight was worried about. “Well, whether or not that’s true, since I guess it doesn’t matter. That still doesn’t answer why she’s challenging me specifically,” she complained. She resumed her pacing, staring at the ground as she walked, mumbling and speaking to herself. Spike watched her pace back and forth, worrying she might bore a hole right through the wooden floor.Thinking out loud, Twilight remarked, “I suppose I did accidentally upstage her pretty hard with that whole ‘Ursa Major’ thing... but would anypony really be so petty? No, that can’t be right. There has to be something else,” Twilight reasoned.

“Twilight maybe—” Spike tried to interject, but Twilight cut him off with a warning glare.

“Shush, Spike, I’m thinking.”

“But—” Spike raised his hand, hoping to get Twilight’s attention as she paced back and forth.

“Not now, Spike.” Twilight waved away Spike, too focused on her thinking. “Maybe Trixie just wants to talk? Would she really—”

“I don’t think—” Spike raised his hand again, determined to be heard.

“Seriously, Spike, shut up.”

Twilight silenced Spike with a hoof, her face lighting up suddenly as the beginnings of a plan formed in her mind. “I know!” she said, clapping her hooves together. “I’ll just go talk to Trixie. I’m sure she can be reasonable,” she said, her voice filled with hope and an excited look on her face, as Spike cringed at her. He did not share Twilight’s optimism. “We’ll get this whole thing sorted and find out what she’s really after,” she continued. Finally making up her mind, Twilight opened the library’s door and stepped outside. Sensing that Spike was not following her, she turned around and looked back at him. “Spike, are you coming or what?”

“Right behind you,” Spike replied as he hurried to catch up with Twilight.

With a heart full of determination, at least Twilight’s anyway, and a mind full of questions the pair headed out. However, after three steps, Twilight realized they had no idea where they were going.

“Spike,” she asked, cocking her head to the side.“You don’t happen to know where Trixie is, do you?”

“Well,” Spike began, “uhhh, no. I guess I don’t.” He scratched the back of his scaly head, smiling apologetically.

“Number one assistant nothing,” Twilight mumbled, “useless.” She shook her head. “I suppose we’ll just have to ask around and see if anypony knows anything.” Sighing, Twilight ordered Spike to follow her. As they took their fourth and fifth steps a copper pony crossed their path. Twilight’s ears perked up at the sound of his approach, as she excitedly turned to Spike, a huge grin on her face. “Maybe he knows something,” she whispered eagerly. Before Spike could even tell her how unlikely that was, she had already approached the unlucky pony with a barrage of questions.

“Have you seen Trixie around?”

“Who?” Startled, the earth pony turned to face his questioner.

“You know,” began Twilight, “unicorn mare, blue coat, white mane, purple hat and cape with some stars and crap on them, she was a bit of a show-off, kinda arrogant?”

“You mean Lulamoon?” he suggested.

“Who?” Twilight asked, confused. “No, Trixie,” she said. “She was just here like a few months ago. She had a pretty sweet stage setup, some fireworks, pretty decent pyrotechnics, and even some kinda crazy sky-lasers.”

“Nope, not ringing any bells,” he said as he shook his head.

“She inadvertently caused an Ursa Major to destroy a large part of the town and I had to rescue everyone,” Twilight offered.

“Can’t say I recall that,” he replied.

“She was the villain from the episode ‘Boast Busters.’”

“Sorry.”

“Ugh, never mind.” Frustrated, Twilight dismissed the pony and walked back to Spike. “He didn’t know anything."

“Yeah,” said Spike sarcastically, “I got that.”

“Oh, shut up.”

Having asked Trixie’s whereabouts to the first pony she saw and getting nowhere, Twilight had more or less given up. She resigned herself to failure, retreating to Sugar Cube Corner. At least there she would could just eat away her failure with delicious baked goods. Cake always made failure taste better.

Downtrodden and defeated, Twilight walked off silently. Spike, not knowing what else to do, followed her.

Eventually they reached the sweet smelling salvation they sought. Twilight’s nose had picked up the scent of pastries. Before her eyes was Sugar Cube Corner, the promised land! Walking inside the bakery, they were greeted by a perfectly pleasant pink pony.

“Hi, Twilight! Hi, Spike!” Pinkie Pie said enthusiastically, waving at both of them.

“Hey, Pinkie,” Twilight mumbled back.

“What’s up, Twilight?” Pinkie asked. “You sound kinda down.”

“I’ve been looking all over town for Trixie,” Twilight said exasperated. “I must have asked a hundred ponies if they’d seen her.”

“Tch, yeah right,” Spike scoffed.

Twilight waved her hooves around erratically. “But no one has!”

“She’s in my basement,” Pinkie said, completely nonplussed.

“I—What?”

“Yeah,” Pinkie said as she bounced up and down, smiling widely. “She said something about bare-knuckle boxing and beating you up, or something. Which I thought was weird since ponies don’t even have knuckles, whatever those are. What is a knuckle anyways? I’ve been wondering. And why don’t ponies have them? I bet they’re fun!”

“Pinkie…”

“Oh, sorry,” Pinkie giggled. “Anyways, I told Trixie she could use my basement. I’m pretty sure she’s down there now,” she said. Twilight’s mouth hung open in disbelief. Pinkie just stood there, that stupid grin plastered across her face as she bounced in place.

She knew that trying to talk sense into Pinkie Pie was like trying to explain astrophysical anomalies to a foal. But sometimes, the things Pinkie said were so outrageous that Twilight couldn’t help but say something. This was one of those times.

“Pinkie… you realize how bizarre that is, right?”

Pinkie snorted, laughing as she replied, “Oh, Twilight, you’re so silly!”

“Hehhh,” Twilight sighed. “Sweet Goddess of the Sun, I don’t care anymore. Let’s just move on,” she said, careful not to lose her patience. “You said that Trixie is in your basement, right?” Pinkie nodded. “So, let’s go then,” Twilight said, indicating the front door of the shop.

Pinkie whirled around to face the door behind her and opened it up. “It’s down here,” she said looking at Twilight over her shoulder.

“I thought you said she was in your basement,” said Twilight, bewildered.

“She is. This is my basement. I rent it from the Cakes,” Pinkie explained.

“Fine, whatever, not gonna ask,” Twilight said. “Just take me to Trixie.”

“I sometimes have poker or blackjack tournaments down here.”

“Not. Gonna. Ask.”

“I once had a dog—”

“Why don’t we stop there,” Twilight interrupted, placing her hoof over Pinkie’s mouth. The last thing she needed was to hear about Pinkie Pie’s illegal activities and become accidental accessories to them. Her only concern right now was to find out what in the wide, wide, world of Equestria Trixie wanted. “Let’s just go downstairs, shall we?” she said pointing at the staircase leading into the basement. Pinkie giggled and then bounced away, down into the abyss of the basement.

“Come on, Spike,” said Twilight, summoning him over. “Let’s go talk some sense into that ridiculous mare.”

“I don’t think that’s possible,” said Spike doubtfully.

“Not Pinkie, Spike. Trixie.”

“Oh, right…”

Twilight shook her head, holding her holding her face in her hooves. Taking a deep breath, she plunged into the inky blackness of Pinkie Pie’s surprisingly gloomy basement.

She found herself entering a dark, dank, dimly lit, windowless, moist, slightly warm, not entirely uncomfortable, and actually kind of homey, despite being gloomy, basement. In the corner, sitting under a solitary, naked light bulb, was Trixie. She sat alone at a table, her hat pulled down over her eyes, masking her steely blue gaze. Pinkie was waiting just beside her. She held out a hoof and pointed at the mare. “There she is,” she said excitedly. Twilight cautiously walked over to the table, eyeing Trixie, waiting for her to make a move. She sat there, patiently waiting for Twilight to approach.

Stepping a little closer Twilight calmly said, “Trixie? It’s Twilight. I want to talk to you.” Still, she didn’t move. “Maybe she didn’t hear me,” she whispered. Speaking a little louder Twilight said, “It’s Twilight, Trixie. I came to talk to you.” Trixie remained seated, not even lifting her hat to look at Twilight. Now slightly annoyed, Twilight took another step forward and examined her a little more closely. The only movement Trixie exhibited was the rising and falling of her chest associated with her breathing. Twilight approached her cautiously and used her magic to lift Trixie’s hat.

“She’s sleeping!” Twilight cried out as she lifted the hat off Trixie’s head and dropped it on the ground. Trixie’s eyes were closed, a peaceful look upon her face. Breathing in deeply, Twilight shouted as loud as she could into Trixie’s ear.

“Trixie!”

Trixie tumbled backwards, falling out of her chair. “W-Who dares disturb the Great and Powerful Trixie?” she yelled, still fumbling to stand up. Noticing Twilight standing over her with a smirk on her face, Trixie immediately stood up and dusted herself off, picking her hat up off the ground. “Trixie was not sleeping, if that’s what you’re thinking,” she said indignantly. “She was merely resting her eyes,” she said shiftily, “...among other things.”

“Oh I’m sure,” said Twilight sarcastically.

“You dare question the veracity of Trixie’s words?” She stood up straight and glared at Twilight, placing her hat firmly back upon her head. It was somewhat lopsided however, as the tip was tilted to one side.

“No, just the strength of your eyelids,” retorted Twilight.

“Hmph, Trixie does not care for your tone,” Trixie said as she adjusted her hat.

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Look, Trixie, I just came here to talk to you,” she said.

“Trixie assumes you mean about the challenge she issued you,” Trixie responded.

“Yes. Why?”

“Well, Trixie used to be on the boxing team in college and she was the regional champion for three years in a row,” she said haughtily. “Trixie knew that she would never win a magic duel. You were, after all, trained by the Goddess of the Sun herself. How can Trixie compare to that?” she asked as she began pacing back and forth. “Boxing was Trixie’s only hope,” she said, confidently. “And so, to make it interesting, she decided to make it bare-knuckle boxing.” She emphasized ‘bare-knuckle’ by standing on her hind legs and giving a quick one-two punch.

“Uhuh,” Twilight remarked . “That wasn’t really what I meant,” she said. “But, I guess that does mean that Spike was right about you boxing after all.”

“Told you,” Spike smirked.

“Shut up. Anyways, I meant, why did you challenge me at all? And also, ponies don’t even have knuckles. Why call it bare-knuckle boxing?” Twilight asked, curious.

“Trixie did not invent the term. She is merely using it,” Trixie noted.

“Fair enough,” Twilight admitted.

“And she challenged you because you upstaged her at her own show,” she continued.

“Technically, that was after the show,” Twilight pointed out.

“Trixie believes you are missing the point.”

“I guess she is that petty,” Twilight said under her breath to Spike.

“Trixie heard that!” snapped Trixie.

Twilight, waving away Trixie’s accusation, attempted to reason with her. “Trixie, I suggest that we come to an agreement. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry I made you look bad,” she said as she bowed her head. “Not that it was hard to do,” she snickered.

Chuckling at Twilight’s suggestion, Trixie offered one of her own, “Trixie suggests that you go buck yourself and in addition, she does not need your false sympathy.” Trixie angrily stomped on the ground. “The only agreement we’ll come to is you,” she pointed at Twilight, “fighting me,” she pointed at herself, “in a one-on-one cage match, right here in this basement. No rules, no refs, and no backing out. Once we enter the cage, the only way out is, as the winner, or as an unconscious pile of pony.” Spit flew from her mouth as she angrily spat out her retort.

Twilight shrugged her shoulders. “I’m not going to fight you, Trixie,” she said.

Trixie shrugged her shoulders right back. “Then Trixie assumes that this means you forfeit the match, and the prize.” Twilight was about to say that she didn’t care about the prize when Trixie continued, “The prize, by the way, is your home, or library, or tree, or whatever you call it.”

“It’s a tree house that doubles as library,” said Spike, answering Trixie’s rhetorical question.

“What!? I won’t agree to this!” Twilight said furiously. “And, Spike, shut up.”

“But, you already have,” Trixie replied smugly.

“I did no such thing!”

“Just ask your little pet dragon,” Trixie said, pointing at Spike.

Twilight rotated to face her little pet dragon, her eyes wide and her nostrils flared. “Spike,” she said slowly. “What is she talking about?”

“Heh heh,” Spike chuckled nervously. “Well, you remember that paper I had you sign awhile back to authorize payment for the mortgage?” he said, shuffling his feet.

“Which I thought was odd since we don’t pay mortgage,” Twilight replied, eyeing him suspiciously.

“Yeah, funny thing about that. It turns out that was actually you signing away the deed to the library,” he said. “And technically our home too,” he added.

“You’re kidding.”

“I’m a baby dragon, a baby,” Spike said as he jabbed his chest. “I couldn’t read that whole thing,” he explained. “It was full of all these legal words and stuff like, ‘relinquish’, and ‘real estate’, and ‘I, Twilight Sparkle, do hereby’.” He threw up his hands in frustration.

“Dammit, Spike,” yelled Twilight. “Why didn’t you read it more carefully?”

“Why didn’t you?” he said, pointing at Twilight.

“I assumed you did!” she cried, pointing back at Spike.

“That was stupid.”

“Gah!” Twilight slammed a hoof down on the table, causing it to rattle. Trixie, who had watched the scene unfold with a conceited grin on her face, was now laughing arrogantly.

“Can Trixie assume that this means you will agree to our match?” she asked in possibly the most condescending manner possible.

“Ugh, yes. I suppose I don’t have a choice now, do I?” Twilight admitted as she scowled angrily at Spike. The baby dragon shrugged his shoulders. “Not my fault,” he mouthed. Twilight exhaled, irritated, and said, “So, when is this stupid fight anyways?”

“Tomorrow night, at midnight,” Trixie answered.

“Paging Dr. Cliché,” Spike said, speaking out of the side of his mouth.

Trixie glowered at Spike and then stood on her hind legs. Cocking her right hoof back, she punched Spike square in the gut, dropping him to the ground.

“You deserved that,” said Twilight, as Spike rolled around on the ground, dry heaving.

“Midnight,” Trixie repeated, dropping back to all fours. “Be there or be... homeless. Since that’s what you’ll be once Trixie defeats you.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll be there,” said Twilight. “And don’t worry,” she continued, “I’ll be bringing my A-game.”

“'A' as in—"

“Yes. Awesome,” Twilight said matter-of-factly.

“For your sake, Trixie hopes you do,” she said, eyeing Twilight’s less than impressive musculature.

Twilight bent down and nudged Spike. “Come on, Spike,” she said. “Let’s get out of here.”

Still reeling from the gut crushing right hook he received, Spike continued to roll around clutching his stomach. Sighing, Twilight picked him up with her magic and placed him on her back. “Baby,” she grumbled. As she was leaving the basement a thought occurred to Twilight. “Whatever happened to Pinkie Pie?” she wondered. She scanned the room for her, but she was nowhere to be found.

“Perhaps she left after guiding you two down here,” Trixie chimed in.

“I guess so,” Twilight admitted. “Weird though, I didn’t even hear her leave.”

“Trixie guesses that one is stealthier than she appears.”

“Apparently,” Twilight agreed.

“Midnight,” Trixie said again, pointing at Twilight suddenly. “Don’t forget.”

“Yeah, I know,” Twilight sighed. “Be there or be homeless. I remember.”

Twilight, deciding that Pinkie had most likely, as Trixie said, left a while ago, trotted up the stairs, out of the shop, and back to her home/library. Once there she shrugged Spike off her back. He fell like a sack of flour to the ground. She began heading up stairs to her bedroom, ignoring Spike’s moaning. On the way up she called back down to him, “Better get some rest, Spike. We’ve got a big day ahead of us tomorrow.”

“Dr. Cliché,” Spike coughed as he lay on the ground, staring up at the ceiling. “Dr. Cliché?”

Get Ready to Rumble!

Chapter 2: Get Ready to Rumble

Beep, beep, beep. Beep, beep, beep. Beep, beep, beep.

Click.

Twilight's hoof slid off the alarm weakly as she struggled to wake up. She yawned and stretched her limbs before rolling out of bed and landing on the floor. Twilight shook her head, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. After another yawn she headed downstairs.

She sluggishly made her way to the kitchen, still yawning occasionally as she went. Squinty-eyed and half-asleep she opened the cupboards searching for the one thing she needed most right now.

“Ah, there it is,” she mumbled. Using her magic Twilight lifted the can of coffee beans off the shelf and set them on the counter. Popping open the lid she poured a few beans into the grinder. As it whirred away Twilight found herself wondering, “Where's Spike?” He was usually already up by now making breakfast or something, as per Twilight's orders.

The grinder slowed to halt, announcing its completion with a short beep, after which Twilight levitated the ground beans into the filter, and turned the coffee machine on. She stared absentmindedly at the pot, watching it slowly fill with rich black coffee. As she did her mind wandered to the previous night, and to Trixie.

“Trixie!” Twilight cried out as she suddenly snapped out of her trance, her eyes growing wide. Thoughts raced through her mind as she recalled everything that had happened. The cage match, the deed to her house, Pinkie's basement. Everything rushed back. “Crap.”

Twilight rushed out of the kitchen shouting, “Spike! Spike, where are you?” She was galloping through the main room when she tripped over something, flipping over. Twilight grunted as she hit the ground. “What the?” She turned her head to see what had caused her to fall. Lying on the ground moaning, was Spike. “Spike?” Twilight stared at him, confusion in her eyes. “Why are lying on the floor?” she asked as she disentangled herself from him.

Spike groaned as he rolled over, pushing himself to his feet. “Oh, my chest,” he whimpered. “Did you just trip over me?”

Disregarding Spike's accusation, Twilight stared seriously at Spike. “Spike, what happened yesterday?”

“You mean before or after Trixie cold-cocked me?” he said as he massaged his bruised stomach.

“So, that actually happened,” Twilight said, her voice dropping. “I hoped it was just a dream.”

“No such luck,” Spike said, lightly poking his chest. “I've got the bruise to prove it.”

“Damn.”

Twilight fell back on her haunches; the weight of the situation finally hit her full force. What had she gotten herself into?

“What have I gotten myself into?” she asked. Spike opened his mouth but after a second he closed it again, at a loss for words. Twilight looked at Spike, her gaze burning into his eyes. She stood up, her eyes blazing. “This is your fault,” she said, jabbing at Spike. “If you hadn't made me sign that stupid paper then I wouldn't have to fight Trixie!” she yelled, stepping closer to Spike as he backed away. “I can't beat her!” Twilight exclaimed. “She was varsity!”

Spike inched backwards, keeping his eyes on Twilight in case she decided to make a move and attack him. “Twilight,” he reasoned, “this isn't my fault. The only reason she came back was because of you. I didn't make her come back.” He tried to calm her down and force her to think rationally. “Do you honestly believe that if you hadn't signed that paper that she wouldn't have come up with some other ridiculous plan to force you to fight her?” he asked calmly, still backing away.

“I—I,” Twilight's eyes flickered back to normal briefly, she faltered in her advance. “I don't know,” she finally admitted. Twilight shook her head, her anger fading away. “I'm sorry, Spike. I know it's not your fault, I just don't know what to do,” she said, hanging her head.

Spike cautiously approached Twilight, taking care to keep his eyes fixated on her. He stood next to her and reached up, patting her on the head. “It's okay Twilight,” he said quietly. “I know you didn't mean it. You're just upset because Trixie is going to kick your ass,” he said comfortingly.

Twilight sniffled, raising her head to look at him. “Oh, shut up.”

BEEEEEEEEEP.

Twilight's ears perked up at the piercing sound. “That must be my coffee,” she said, leaving Spike standing alone as she went back to the kitchen. Spike stood there, unsure of what to say or do. From the main hall he could hear the sounds of Twilight pouring herself a cup of coffee. He heard the clinking of the ceramic on the counter top, the cascading of coffee into a cup, and finally, the chunk of the coffee pot being placed back into the machine. He waited. A few seconds later, Twilight walked out of the kitchen levitating a mug of coffee in front of her, stirring it as she went. Spike waited for her to say something but she just stood there with a vague smile on her face, her eyes staring into the coffee.

“Soooooo,” Spike said slowly.

“Hmm?” Twilight replied, not looking up.

“Anyways—”

“Oh right,” Twilight said as she blinked several times. “What were we talking about again?” she asked, looking at Spike.

Spike sighed, “Trixie, remember? The fight you guys have tonight?”

“Yes, about that. I've been thinking,” she said.

“You've been thinking?” Spike replied, arching his eyebrows.

“While making this coffee,” she said, lifting her mug a little higher and shaking it slightly. She took a sip of the coffee, a satisfied grin taking over her face.

“And?”

“And I thought that the best way to prepare would be to read a book on boxing.”

“But, I thought we didn't have any books about that?”

Twilight smiled and shook her head. “It's a library, Spike. I haven't read every book here... just most of them.” Careful not to lose control of her magic and spill her coffee, Twilight cantered over to a bookshelf slightly hidden beneath the stairs. Spike followed her movements with his eyes, his brow furrowed. “I keep all the books I haven't read yet back here,” she explained, her voice distant.

“How do you know you have a book on boxing back there?” Spike asked.

“I don't,” Twilight replied. “That's why I need you to shut up and help me.”

“Coming,” said Spike reluctantly. He strode over to where Twilight was currently disemboweling a bookshelf. Books flew everywhere as she glanced at different covers and, not finding anything useful, tossed them aside.

“No. Nope. Not this one. Maybe—no. Ooh what about this—damn.”

Spike watched as a flurry of pages flew past his face, nearly hitting him as they went. Twilight was furiously pulling books off the shelf and tossing them aside, or letting them fall haphazardly. Spike tried to get a little closer so he could help but a close call with Pride and Prejudice and Ponies caused him to re-strategize. Twilight looked like she was handling things pretty well anyways.

“Ah ha!” Twilight cried out suddenly, holding a book aloft. “I found one. It was next to Causality: What Is It? And Why Should I Care? and right behind Foreshadowing: A Beginner's Guide." She turned around triumphantly, holding above her head The Egghead's Guide to Boxing: Bare-Knuckle or Otherwise like it was the Holy Grail.

She laid the book on the ground face-up. She and Spike huddled over it, ready to see what knowledge lay inside. Twilight took another sip of her coffee and licked her lips. “Okay,” she said, “Let's see what this book can teach us.”

___

A pile of books tumbled to the floor, bending the pages and kicking up dust. Twilight rubbed her head and let out an exasperated sigh. “Come on, Twilight,” said Spike. “Let's try again.” He started gathering the books while Twilight gathered herself. Standing on her hind legs and magically levitating the books in a stack to her head, she balanced them and herself. The books stood precariously on her head, ready to fall at the slightest movement.

Twilight bit her lip, furrowing her brow in concentration. She teetered back and forth momentarily then righted herself. She grinned, this was easy. “Whoa!” Thud, thud, thud.

Twilight, and the stack of books, fell in a pile on the floor. “Dammit!” she shouted as she lay on the ground. Gritting her teeth, she complained, “Why is this so hard?” She angrily swatted at The Maltese Pony, sending it spinning across the floor.

The book slid right into Spike's feet. He bent down and picked it up, looking at the cover. “The book said that most important part of boxing was being able to stand on your hind legs.” He looked at Twilight pleadingly. “I've seen you do it before,” he said as he carried the book over to Twilight and helped her up. “It's not that hard. Look at me,” he said, pointing at himself. “I do it all the time.”

“It's not the same,” Twilight complained. “I can't stand like that for very long.” She sighed, “Let's just try again.” Standing up on her hind legs, Twilight balanced the books on her head, preparing herself for the trial.

“You love books, Twilight,” Spike said. “This should come naturally to you.”

Twilight raised an eyebrow, looking incredulously at Spike. “That doesn't even make sense,” she muttered.

She shook her head at Spike, causing the books to become dislodged and sending them to the floor. “Gah! Shut up, Spike! You made me drop the books again,” she said as she waved her hooves around angrily.

“Why don't we just come back to this part later?” suggested Spike. He grabbed The Egghead's Guide to Boxing and flipped to the next chapter. Twilight sat with her arms crossed, stewing in her anger. “Chapter 2: The Anatomy of a Punch,” Spike read. He turned the book so Twilight could see. “You could do this,” he said, pointing at a picture of a pony practicing on a punching bag.

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Fine, whatever.”

___

One trip to the gym and several hours later, Twilight and Spiked were walking home, sore, tired, and twenty bits poorer.

“Well that sucked,” Spike declared. “We spent twenty bits and over an hour just signing up for that stupid gym.”

“Yeah,” agreed Twilight. “And when we finally got inside they didn't even have any punching bags,” she said, angrily kicking at the ground. “Let's just go home.”

Spike opened The Egghead's Guide to Boxing again and thumbed to the next chapter. “Why don't we try Chapter 3: T—”

“No!” shouted Twilight, snatching the book from Spike. “This book is useless!” she exclaimed as she tossed the book into a nearby trash can. “We've been training all day,” she said. “It's probably almost time for us to meet Trixie anyways.”

Spike pointed at the clock in the center of town. “It's not even close,” he said. “It's only 10:47... in the morning.”

“That probably explains why it's light outside still,” Twilight said, looking up at the sky. “Screw this. I'm going home,” she announced.

“To practice some more?” asked Spike.

Twilight laughed, “I don't think a couple more hours of training are going to help me any. I'm going to read a book, or take a nap,” she said. “Maybe both? Either way, I'm done with this. I'll fight Trixie tonight and I'll win no matter what.”

“Bu—”

“Just because she's been doing this for much longer than me does not mean that Trixie will beat me. I'll just magically enhance my hooves to beat her,” she smirked. “That ought to show her.”

“Twilight, I think that's chea—”

“Oh, shut up. What do you know?” She made an about-face and began walking back to the library. Calling back to Spike she said, “Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go finish Michael Moorhoove's Behold the Pony.”

Spike watched her walk away in silence. “This won't end well.”

____

Seven-hundred and seventy-eight minutes later Twilight and Spike found themselves, once again, standing outside Sugar Cube Corner. Twilight stood completely still, she didn't know what to say. Spike stood next to her, looking into the window of the empty pastry shop. He stepped up to the window and peered inside. Squinting, he could see a faint light coming from the staircase leading to the basement.

“It's a good thing we came fifteen minutes early,” he said as he scanned the bakery. Twilight broke her thousand mile stare and watched Spike as he turned back around. “I'm pretty sure she's already down there,” he said pointing a finger over his shoulder.

“She lives here, idiot,” Twilight sighed. “Remember?”

“Oh... yeah,” Spike said, scratching his head.

“Let's just go inside.” Twilight motioned to the door, as Spike opened it for her.

As they stepped inside they could begin to hear the faint sounds of ponies cheering and what sounded like a microphone. “What the—”

Twilight was interrupted by Pinkie Pie bouncing in front of her.

“Hi, Twilight!” she exclaimed. Twilight jumped back, startled.

“Don't do that, Pinkie!”

Pinkie giggled in response. She grabbed Twilight by the hoof and began pulling her towards the basement steps, Spike following behind them. “Come one,” she said as she dragged Twilight. “Trixie is waiting downstairs.” Twilight allowed herself to be led into the dim basement. As they approached the end of the staircase she could hear the cheering growing louder, and a voice she knew she recognized coming from a microphone. Two voices she recognized actually, no, three.

Spike, who was walking behind Twilight and Pinkie, recognized the voices as well and he hurried to catch up with Twilight. “Twilight, I think that's—”

“Yeah, I'm pretty sure it is.”

Pinkie bounced down the stairs, waving for Twilight and Spike to follow her. As they descended into the basement for the second, and hopefully last, time Twilight swallowed the lump in her throat. Spike patted her side saying, “Good luck.” Taking a deep breath, Twilight plunged into the dimly lit room running headlong into another pony.

He grunted as Twilight plowed into him, nearly knocking him over. “You again? Watch where you're walking,” he warned, pushing her away. Twilight, helped by Spike, stood up, shaking the stars out of her vision. She looked around the room. There were ponies everywhere: all of them were looking at the center of the room where a steel cage had been erected. Its chain link walls now contained two ponies: One of them was Trixie, the other she didn't recognize. He was three times her size, with a brown coat and a black mane. Even from there she could tell he was bulging with muscles.

He and Trixie danced around each other, shuffling their feet as needed to adjust to the other pony's position. The large pony took a swing at Trixie, but she anticipated it and ducked the blow. Weaving forward, she launched out a quick jab with her left hoof and caused the stallion to recoil. Shaking his head and snorting, he lunged at Trixie swinging his hooves wildly. Trixie smirked, as she side-stepped and caused the massive pony to crash into the cage wall, dazing him. She let him regain his footing, watching with that arrogant smile of hers.

Rage filled the mammoth pony's eyes as he took another swing at Trixie, then another, then another. She just ducked and weaved through everything he threw at her, all the while smirking and snickering. She was just toying with him. She was running him along like a dog on a leash. She was completely in control.

The bulky earth pony was wearing himself out. His swings were becoming weaker and weaker, and his aim was getting worse. Trixie wasn't even dodging anymore, she stood just out of reach of his hooves and let him beat himself. Finally, she saw the perfect opening. Ducking her way through one particularly erratic swing, she swooped in and delivered a devastating corkscrew punch directly into his rib cage. He stumbled backwards, coughing up blood. Trixie smiled.

She took another step forward. Cocking her right hoof back and down she launched it directly into the huge pony's jaw, lifting him into the air. When he hit the ground he was out cold, knocked unconscious by the sheer force of Trixie's uppercut. Twilight's jaw dropped.

“Oh, and Handsome Henry goes down!” shouted a voice.

“Ah'm sure he'll be feeling that in the morning!” joked a second.

“And Trixie remains undefeated!” yelled a third.

As Twilight attempted to pick up the remains of her confidence, and her jaw, Spike jumped back. Out of nowhere Pinkie was standing next to them again. “Pinkie! What did I tell you literally two minutes ago?” scolded Twilight.

Pinkie just giggled, as usual, and said, “How do you like my decorating?”

“It's uhh, impressive,” said Twilight, dumbfounded.

Pinkie chuckled and led Twilight away from the crowd pulling her towards the announcer's booth, in this case a cardboard box with the word 'Announcer(s)' written on it. Standing behind the box, a microphone placed in front of them, were three ponies.

“Scootaloo? Sweetie Belle? Apple... Blossom?”

“Bloom.”

“Whatever. What are you girls doing here?”

The three of them looked at each other and in unison shouted, “Cutie Mark Crusaders: Emcees!”

Twilight cleared her throat and said, “So let me get this straight, you girls are trying to get your cutie marks... in illegal cage match hosting?”

They nodded.

Shaking her head, Twilight asked them, “You said Trixie remained undefeated right?”

“Yeah!” replied Scootaloo. “She's won every match.”

“Uhuh,” continued Sweetie Belle. “She's really really good!”

“How many matches is that, exactly?” asked Twilight.

“Thirty-six,” answered Apple Bloom.

“Thirty-six!” Twilight shouted.

“That's right, Sparkle. And you will be thirty-seven,” declared Trixie from behind Twilight. She sauntered past, flicking her tail in Twilight's face as she went. Smirking, Trixie began unwrapping the bandages on her hooves. She bit the loose end and pulled, letting the wrappings undo themselves. She finished one hoof and then moved to the other, as she did Twilight noticed that bandages were flecked with blood and they were heavily frayed, evidence of her previous bouts. After she spit them on the ground Trixie looked up at Twilight, an arrogant smug on her face.

“Trixie, I thought this was just going to be a one-on-one fight between me and you,” Twilight muttered. “What are all these other ponies doing here?” she asked, waving her hoof across the sea of ponies filling Pinkie's basement.

“Clearly you do not know Trixie very well,” Trixie retorted. “Are you so ignorant as to believe that she would pass up the opportunity to humiliate you in front of a crowd, just like you did to her?” She turned her head to look at the three fillies sitting behind the cardboard box. “You there, pegasus, fetch Trixie's hat and cape for her, and fetch some more bandages while you're at it,” she snapped.

Scootaloo pointed at herself, “Me?” Trixie nodded. She began frantically searching around for Trixie's effects. She lifted the box, hoping they would be hidden underneath. Trixie rolled her eyes.

“Trixie's belongings are in the back,” she said, indicating the direction Scootaloo needed to go. Turning back to face Twilight, Trixie muttered under her breath, “Fools.” Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom looked eagerly at Trixie.

“Do you need me to do anything?” asked Sweetie Belle anxiously.

“What about me?” interjected Apple Bloom. “Ah'm real good at fetching stuff.”

Trixie dismissed them with a wave of her hoof. “Go help your little friend,” she said. “The sooner she gets back the sooner we can start.” They took off running, eager to please such a great and powerful pony. “By the way, dragon,” Trixie said suddenly, turning to Spike. “I never thanked you for your help. If you hadn't gotten that detestable mare's signature this plan never would have worked,” she cackled.

Twilight looked down at Spike, the fire from before rekindled. “I knew this was your fault,” she hissed.

“Why, Trixie believes that she is in your debt,” Trixie continued. “In fact, Trixie is so grateful that she would like to make you an offer.”

Spike arched his eyebrows. “You want to make me an offer?”

Trixie nodded. “When Trixie bests Twilight Sparkle in the cage and she takes her home away you will be without a home as well, correct?” Spike just stared wide-eyed and open-mouthed at Trixie. “Trixie will allow you to stay at the library if you promise to become her slave and serve her as loyally as you serve your current master,” she continued.

Spike tried to say something but no words came out. He looked to Twilight for help but she just ignored him. “I don't know, Trixie,” Spike finally replied. “I mean, Twilight and I—”

“Miss Trixie!” called three little voices, interrupting Spike.

“We found your hat and cape!” said Apple Bloom excitedly, indicating herself and Sweetie Belle.

“Oh oh, and I found new bandages!” Scootaloo added, jumping up and down equally excited.

“Excellent work,” Trixie said looking at them fondly. “Now be gone,” she demanded, her fondness disappearing in an instant. “Trixie must prepare.” Snatching her belongings from them and grabbing the bandages in her mouth, she trotted away.

“Let's go, Twilight,” Spike suggested. “You need to prepare too.”

Twilight breathed a heavy sigh and began walking away, towards the cage, and her certain defeat.

“Wait!” cried Scootaloo. “I forgot to give you these,” she said as she pulled out another roll of bandages. Twilight looked down at the bandages Scootaloo was offering to her, she smiled.

“Thanks,” she said softly. Twilight bent down and took the wrappings in her mouth. Nodding her thanks, she turned away and followed Spike towards the steel monster erected in center of the basement.

As Twilight worked her way through the crowd she could hear Pinkie Pie's voice shouting above all the rest. “Taking all bets!” she yelled. “The next match is Trixie, who has remained undefeated all night, versus Twilight Sparkle!” Ponies were clamoring for her attention, waving their bits in the air, calling out the bets they wanted to make. Pinkie stood on a pile of boxes overlooking the crowd. She had a pile of bits behind her from all the previous bets and she had begun making a new pile on a table placed in front of her. Next to her stood a chalkboard with odds written on it. She was pointing at it while speaking to the crowd, “I've got a thousand to one in favor of Trixie. You make a bet of one bit on Twilight Sparkle you get one thousand bits back,” she explained. “If she wins.”

Twilight pushed past the crowd and approached Pinkie's table. “Pinkie, what the hell? You're taking bets on our match?”

Pinkie jumped down from the pile of boxes and smiled at Twilight. “Of course, silly. How else am I supposed to pay my rent?”

Twilight started to reply with exactly how Pinkie could pay her rent when she was interrupted by a microphone.

“Would Twilight Sparkle please enter the cage? The match is about to begin.”

“Oh, crap,” Twilight grumbled. She grabbed Spike and forced her way back through the betting crowd and towards the cage. As she got nearer she could see Trixie had already entered. She had seated herself in a corner and she was busy wrapping her hooves in fresh bandages. As Twilight teleported herself into the ring Trixie looked up from her wrapping.

“Trixie wants fresh bandages for this fight. That way only your blood will be on them,” she said menacingly. Twilight gulped. She looked back at Spike who was standing with his claws gripped on the cage walls and staring at Twilight.

“Spike, I'm beginning to think I should've trained more,” she said nervously.

“You think?” Spike pulled out a roll of bandages, “Here, you dropped these,” he said. Twilight reached out and grabbed them, cradling them in her hooves. She grabbed the loose end and magically adhered it to her right hoof. Then, she began rolling the wrappings around her hoof, making sure to cover everything. Once she was satisfied she bit off the bandage and tucked it into a fold. She did the same with her left hoof. Meanwhile Trixie, who was now wearing her hat and cape again, had begun pacing back and forth, waiting for Twilight to finish.

Once Twilight was done wrapping her hooves she handed the roll back to Spike, then she stepped into the center of the cage and waited for Trixie to meet her. Trixie stepped forward, swishing her cape as she went. She stood up on her hind legs and removed her hat, tossing it to the side. She then unfastened her cape and tossed it aside as well.

“Did you put your clothes back on, just so you could dramatically take them off?” chuckled Twilight.

“Trixie doubts that you will be laughing once our match starts,” Trixie replied haughtily.

Twilight stood up on her hind legs as well, wobbly though she was. She struggled to keep her balance. Twilight's horn began to glow a reddish-purple as she started to channel magic into her hooves.

Seeing this Trixie exclaimed, “There is no magic allowed! You must fight using only the strength of your body, not your mind.”

Twilight broke her spell and replied, “But, you never said—”

“Did Trixie not mention it? She is sure that she did. If you use magic in any way, then you forfeit the match,” Trixie explained.

“Damn,” Twilight mumbled.

“I told you,” Spike whispered.

“Oh, shut up.”

Suddenly, the sound of several ponies arguing filled the room. From the microphone Twilight could hear the three fillies fighting.

“I wanted to say it!”

“No, I did!”

“Ah'm gonna say it!”

Everyone looked over to the announcer's table where the three fillies were wrestling for control of the microphone. Twilight and Trixie watched in silence, mouths hanging open. Finally, Scootaloo came out victorious and she held the microphone above her head as she floated slightly off the ground, just out of reach.

Taking a deep breath, she yelled into the microphone, “Let's get ready to rrrrrrrrrrrrrruuuuummmmbbbbllllleeeeee!”

Ding ding!

The sound of a bell ringing announced the start of the fight. Twilight was caught off guard as Trixie took a swing at her. Somehow she was able to dodge in time, just barely avoiding being knocked out in the first seconds. As Twilight jumped back, Trixie did as well. They eyed each other, circling around, looking for an opening. As they danced around each other Twilight noticed for the first time just how muscular Trixie was. She may not have been as noticeably buff as the large earth pony from before, but she was certainly fit to say the least. Twilight guessed that a life on the road had allowed her to become quite lean while still remaining incredibly strong.

Trixie's muscles were taut as she swayed back and forth, her hooves held in front of her face. She was a coiled spring, waiting to be released. Twilight, on the other hand, was more like a slinky. She knew she was in trouble. Twilight reasoned that the only chance she would have would be to take out Trixie quickly, try and catch her off guard by being very aggressive. She was sure that Trixie's stamina far out matched her own, so if this fight dragged on for too long then she was screwed.

Twilight lunged forward, swinging her right hoof from underneath her. Trixie, not expecting Twilight to be so aggressive, was only just able to dodge the blow. However, the swing had left Twilight wide open and Trixie took advantage of it. She launched a quick right hook into Twilight's ribs, causing her to stumble backwards. Trixie did not want the match to end too quickly, so she did not hit with her full strength. Though it was enough to cause Twilight to crash into the cage wall and cough up some blood.

“Oh! And a nice right hook from Trixie!” announced Scootaloo.

“She really took advantage of that opening,” added Apple Bloom.

As Twilight sat against the chain-link wall, breathing heavily, Spike reached through the chains and wiped Twilight's brow. “I should've warned you,” he said, “she's got a mean right hook.” Spike rubbed his bruised stomach. “Now get back out there!” Spike cried as he pushed Twilight back into the middle. She staggered forward, putting her hooves back up. Trixie was waiting patiently, her eyes gleamed with excitement.

Trixie stepped forward and Twilight followed suit. They danced around each other, neither willing to commit to anything. Trixie made a weak jab and Twilight jumped back, causing it to miss. She retaliated with her own jab which Trixie parried, knocking it away with her hoof.

“It seems like the two them just don't want to commit,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Somepony hit somepony!” shouted Scootaloo.

Twilight, distracted by the announcing, didn't see Trixie's uppercut coming until the last moment. She had just enough time to move her head to the side and cause Trixie to miss. At that moment Twilight noticed an opening. After Trixie had missed she had left her right side completely open to attack. Twilight used this opportunity and shot her left hoof out, delivering a quick cross punch to Trixe's ribs.

“Twilight managed to land a hit!” cried Apple Bloom.

Trixie wavered, but did not fall back or stumble. She tossed her mane back, out of her eyes, and she spit on the ground, a little blood was left on her lips. “Is that the best Celestia's student can offer?” she mocked. Trixie wiped her mouth, looking at the blood left on her bandages. “You actually made Trixe bleed, impressive. But, you will never defeat The Great and Powerful Trixie!” she exclaimed as she lurched forward taking wild swings at Twilight.

Twilight didn't know what to do; she held her hooves up, defending herself as best she could from the blows. Trixie kept the attack coming, punching Twilight over and over again, ignoring her own defense. Trixie finally cocked her right hoof back, ready to take one big swing. As she did Twilight's eyes lit up. Trixie was so focused on winding up her punch she didn’t notice that her chest was left completely unguarded. Twilight knew this might be her only chance, so she took it. She put all of her strength into one punch aimed squarely at Trixie’s undefended midsection.

As the punch flew at Trixie she smirked, dodging it easily. Twilight was confused, she looked around for Trixie, but she had seemingly disappeared. Then suddenly, Trixie came in from Twilight's left side, jabbing her in ribs. Twilight took the full brunt of the attack and she coughed, spitting up more blood. Trixie stepped closer, not even bothering to hold up her hooves anymore. She looked Twilight in the eye and smiled, taking another jab at her stomach.

Twilight slammed into the cage wall. She could barely stand, the only thing holding her up was the wall. She coughed up more blood, Trixie sneered. “Yes, that's right,” she said contemptuously. “You played right into Trixie's hooves.” She laughed maniacally. Twilight, unable to say anything, just stared confusedly at Trixie. “That was just a feint,” she explained, “and you fell for it.” Trixie's smirk grew as she stepped forward. She jabbed again at Twilight's stomach, and then again, and again. Twilight slumped to the ground, still coughing up more blood. Trixie reached down and picked her up with her hooves, holding her up so Twilight could look right in her eyes.

“How does it feel,” she asked, “to be so thoroughly beaten?” Trixie chuckled, holding Twilight's head in her hooves, staring into her eyes.

“I win.”

Trixie cocked her head back then shot forward, delivering a devastating headbutt. The force of it dropped Twilight to the ground. As she fell Twilight saw Trixie's smirking face standing over her laughing, then she hit the ground. Blackness overtook her.

Trixie held her hooves in the air triumphantly. “Trixie is the winner!” yelled all three announcer's at once. Everyone in the room cheered for Trixie as she stood in the center of the cage shaking her up-stretched hooves. Everyone except for Spike.

Twilight lay sprawled out right in front of him. He looked down at her unconscious form silently, grinning just a little.

“You deserved that.”

The End (Pt. I)

Chapter 3: The End (Pt. I)

Twilight groaned, blinking her eyes. Light flooded her vision as she slowly regained consciousness. She blinked again, her eyes struggling to stay open. Her vision swam as the world around her came into focus. She could see blurred colors, and she could hear the muted cheering of the crowd. They were chanting something, something she couldn't quite make out. She squeezed her eyes shut and opened them again, trying to clear her vision. As she shook her head her vision, along with her hearing, returned to her.

“Trixie! Trixie! Trixie!”

Twilight tried to move, but she found herself unable to; everything hurt. She could see Trixie just a few feet in front of her, standing with her hooves raised in the air, that arrogant smile spread across her face. Twilight rolled her head to the side only to find Spike standing next to her. He had knelt down and was looking into her eyes.

“What happened?”

Spike shook his head and replied, “You got your ass kicked, that's what.”

Twilight rolled her head back to look at Trixie. She took notice of Twilight's stirring and began to approach her. She dropped back to all fours and leaned down to whisper in Twilight's ear.

“You have twenty-four hours,” she hissed. Twilight glared at her, narrowing her eyes. Trixie smirked and straightened herself, mouthing, “Twenty-four.” Turning her back on Twilight, she walked away, flicking her tail. Twilight's head rolled to the side again, back to Spike. He was watching Trixie walk away, his hands placed on Twilight's right hoof. She tried to move her body again, unsuccessfully. The effort wore her out, she felt herself fading back into darkness. She felt woozy, her eyelids fluttered. Spike looked back down at her, concerned.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

Twilight couldn't find the strength to respond. Her vision was fuzzy, and he her head was lolling from side to side. Spike shook her.

“Twilight?”

Her body went limp and her eyes rolled back in her head. She allowed herself to drift into the dusk. Spike leaned down further, shaking her worriedly. He put his ear to her mouth, listening to make sure she was breathing. As he was huddled over her a smile came across his face. She was snoring. He chuckled and stood up.

The crowd had begun to dissipate now that the match was over. Pinkie Pie sat at her table, counting her bits. Trixie had wandered off into a corner somewhere and the Cutie Mark Crusaders were sitting behind their cardboard box, arguing over something. Spike sighed, Twilight wasn't going to move herself.

He reached his claws under Twilight's side and lifted, grunting as he did. He raised her a few inches then exhaled, dropping her back down.

“When'd you get so heavy?”

He shook his head and scanned the room, surely there was someone here who could help. He opened his mouth to ask Pinkie but then closed it immediately, deciding it was better to not ask for her help. Trixie was out of the question. She had the strength sure, but Spike doubted she would be willing to help. That left one pony, or rather, one group of ponies.

“Hey!” Spike shouted. “ Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom! I need your help.”

They looked up from their argument, all three of them him staring him down. He lifted Twilight's hoof and tilted his head at her limp body. They nodded. As they opened the steel door of the cage Spike started dragging Twilight over to them. He gritted his teeth, straining his muscles to pull her. By the time he had reached the three fillies he was breathing heavily. He exhaled slowly as he lowered her hoof gently.

“We need to get her back to the library,” he said, indicating Twilight. The girls nodded. They spread out around her, each taking a limb. “Alright,” Spike said, “on three.” He inhaled deeply and nodded. They nodded back. “One. Two. Three!” All four of them lifted, exhibiting a number of different groans and grunts. They took one step, their knees buckled and they fell down.

“Jeez, Twilight. When'd you get so heavy,” Apple Bloom complained, wiping her brow.

“What is she? Filled with bricks?” Scootaloo grumbled.

“Crap, actually,” Spike chuckled.

“She's really heavy,” added Sweetie Belle.

The others looked at Sweetie Belle questioningly, their mouths slightly open.

“That's the best you could come up with?” asked Spike, one eyebrow raised slightly higher than the other. He sighed, “Look, Sweetie Belle, we're going to have a serious talk about your comic timing when this is done.” He closed his eyes, shaking his head. “Let's just try again. On three.” They nodded. “One. Two. Three!”

___

“And that's why comic timing is important, okay?” Spike said as he patted Sweetie Belle on the back. They stood in the doorway at the library. Scootaloo and Apple Bloom had already gone home. “Do you understand now?”

Sweetie Belle nodded, “I think so.”

Spike nodded back, “Good. Now go home.” He pushed her outside and shut the door. “I thought she'd never leave,” he sighed, sliding down the door.

They had managed to get Twilight home, somehow, and Spike was fading fast. His head lolled as he drifted off. The door, surprisingly, wasn't too uncomfortable. He snuggled against it, a content look upon his face. He closed his eyes, allowing himself to feel the sweet embrace of sleep.

“Dammit!”

Spike was woken suddenly by the sound of Twilight shouting. He slipped off the door and hit the ground. Spike rubbed his head as he looked up towards Twilight's bedroom. He could hear her thrashing around and the sounds of objects hitting the wall. She was yelling incoherently and stomping angrily. Spike sighed as he looked at the clock hanging on the wall; 8:23, it said. He heaved himself up, dusted himself off, and headed up stairs. As he neared Twilight's bedroom he could make out some of what she was shouting.

“That—that—” thud. Twilight's last word was muffled by the sound of something heavy hitting the door. “She thinks she can't beat me that easily?” Spike cautiously approached the door, lightly resting his claw on the doorknob. He put his ear to the door, listening quitely. “Great and Powerful, huh? Ha! I'll show her true power!” Bang! Spike recoiled as another object rattled against the door, shaking it violently. Swallowing his nerves he reached forward, opening the door slowly.

As he did a book narrowly avoiding knocking him out. He watched in slow-motion as Tachyons and Quantum Field Theory rocketed past him, propelled by reddish-purple magic. He stepped quietly into the bedroom, avoiding the pile of books in the doorway.

Twilight was standing at the back of the room, pouring over a book sitting on the desk. She was surrounded by books, in fact, the entire room was surrounded by books. They lay all over the ground in small, and large, piles. Her bed was a mess, the sheets and pillows carelessly thrown across the room. Spike wondered how he had not heard her before now. She must have been at this for some time.

“Twilight?” Spike said quietly. She did not hear him. Her face was buried in the book she was so intently reading. It was, at least, until she angrily closed the book and tossed it behind her. Spike saw the book tumble through the air, landing messily on a small pile near him. He glanced at the cover, Quantum Entanglement: A Theoretical Approach.

Spike cleared his throat, but Twilight was already busy with another book and either didn't hear him, or was ignoring him. “Twilight,” he spoke a little louder this time. She continued reading, or ignoring him, or both. “Twilight!” he finally shouted.

She turned around, her lips tight and her body tense. She had a bandage wrapped around her skull, and there was a bloodstain on her forehead where Trixie had undoubtedly left a nasty cut.

“Shut up, Spike! I'm trying to read!” she snapped. Twilight turned her attention back to the book she was currently engrossed in. Spike sighed, picking up a relatively small book lying near him. He hefted it in his hands, testing its weight. Satisfied, he cocked his arm back and whipped Death of a Salespony as hard as he could at her. The book flew gracefully across the room smacking Twilight satisfyingly on the back of the head.

She spun around angrily and eyed Spike who was rocking back and forth, whistling some off-key, unrecognizable, tune. She massaged the back of her head, saying, “I'm going to pretend that didn't happen.” As she was turning back around Spike spoke up suddenly.

“Twilight,” he said, splaying his arms out. “What are you doing?”

She took a deep breath before responding, “These books are useless. I thought I could use tachyons,” she said, nodding her head to one side. “But no, apparently they don't work like that,” she added, nodding her head to the other side. She threw up her hooves in frustration. “So much for faster-than-light neutrino anomalies,” she scoffed.

“What are you talking about?”

“I'm talking about time-travel!” she shouted.

“What?”

She sighed, closing her eyes. “I'm going to go back in time and cause Trixie to lose,” she said before opening her eyes again.

“How exactly do you plan on doing that?” Spike inquired.

“Well,” she began, “I thought I could use tachyons. They're faster-than-light particles,” she explained. “But, apparently they can't be used for backwards time-travel,” she sighed. “Tch, stupid astrophysical anomalies.”

Spike gaped at her, lost for words. “Uhh—”

“And then I thought I could use Gödel space-time curves,” she continued. “But again, no. It seems our universe doesn't even have those.” Twilight kicked away a book laying near her hooves angrily. “This sucks.”

Spike used Twilight's pouting as a distraction to allow himself to get closer. As he did he saw that Twilight's mane was frayed, and her coat was dirty. Her eyes were bloodshot and he could see that her stomach was purple, more purple than normal. He tried to comfort her as best he could. “Twilight, we can always find a new home,” he suggested. “We don't have to live here.”

“It's not about that,” Twilight muttered. She hung her head, boring holes into the floor with her stare. “I just can't lose to her,” she mumbled.

Spike stepped a little closer. “What was that?”

Twilight, without looking up, mumbled, “I can't lose, not to her.”

“Sorry?”

“I said, I can't lose!” she shouted fiercely, her head still hung low.

Spike couldn't help but chuckle. “Now who's being petty?”

“Oh, shut up.”

Spike took another couple of steps forward and reached out, patting Twilight on the head. “It's okay,” he said comfortingly. “We'll get through this. There has to be some other way we can convince Trixie to settle for something besides the library.”

“She won't settle. I know, I've got a mare's intuition about these things,” Twilight said. Spike rolled his eyes, careful to not let her see. “There's nothing else I can do, I've thought of everyth— Wait!” Twilight's head shot up, her eyes sparkled with hope. “It's so simple,” she said as she shook her head. “I can't believe I didn't think of it before.”

"Think of what?” asked Spike, confused.

“Wormholes!”

“Come again?”

“Wormholes! They're a kind of 'shortcut' in space-time,” Twilight explained. She searched around, finally grabbing a book off the ground. Tearing one of the pages out she showed it to Spike. “Imagine this page as the space-time continuum,” she said holding the page in front of her. She folded it neatly in half and held it out again. “Now imagine one side of the paper being the past,” she indicated the side facing down, “and one side being the present,” she pointed to the side facing up. Spike nodded to show he was following. Satisfied that Spike was keeping up thus far Twilight, using her magic, cut a perfect hole in the paper so that when unfolded the page would have two holes. “This hole,” she pointed at the hole, “is the wormhole. It allows us to 'step' through the 'folds' in the space-time continuum, moving from one time period to the other, like a doorway; effectively allowing us to travel back in time.”

“But—”

“Well, obviously it's a lot more complicated than that, but you get the basic idea,” Twilight said, waving her hoof nonchalantly. “The real trick is going to be making sure we create a doorway to the right time.” She began pacing back and forth, her forehead creased and her eyes narrowed. “I'll need to run some numbers to figure out where I need to place the wormhole,” she said, thinking out loud.

“Um, has anyone actually ever created one of these 'wormholes'?” Spike asked, making quotation marks with his fingers.

“Not exactly,” Twilight responded, still deep in thought.

“What makes you think you can then?” Spike wondered.

“Nopony has every tried before.”

Spike raised his eyebrows. “So, you'll be the first?”

“Hopefully,” Twilight mused.

Spike shuddered. “How long is going to take to figure out where—”

“Already done,” Twilight replied happily.

Taken aback Spike responded, “That was fast.”

Twilight smiled, “I just needed to figure how quickly I needed to accelerate one end of the wormhole so that it would reach the point in time we need. It was simple really.”

“So where—”

“Oh, I can do it right here,” Twilight interrupted as she scanned the room. She gazed around, examining every inch of her bedroom. After some time she stopped, pointing at the corner nearest to Spike. “Right there,” she said. “That'll be perfect.” Twilight's horn began to emanate with a magical glow as she started casting her science-y witchcraft.

“Hold on,” Spike exclaimed. “You're gonna do it right now?”

Twilight sighed, her horn dimming. “Yes, idiot. Of course right now.”

“I thought you needed to prepare or something,” Spike remarked.

“Oh right, let me go pack some sandwiches for the trip,” Twilight responded sarcastically. “Just shut up and let me do this.”

Spike shrugged his shoulders, “Alright.”

Her horn glowed with reddish-purple magic as she fired it up again. The whole room took on a purple hue as her aura filled the area. Books that weren't already on the ground soon where as the room began to shake. The whole tree was swaying back and forth causing Spike to tumble around helplessly. By some black magic Twilight was able to stand perfectly still, her face hardened in concentration. She bit her lip, pouring more energy into her spell. She squeezed her eyes shut, concentrating harder, sweat pouring down her brow.

Finally, a tiny hole opened in the corner of the room, barely the size of a pinhead. The hole was not 'in' anything, it just floated there, in the air. A pitch black void was the only thing visible through it. The thing seemed to devour light, leaving only cold, black, emptiness. Twilight focused her magic on the hole, now that it had appeared. The purple tinge permeating the room lifted as she concentrated on the wormhole. She was pouring her energy directly into its opening, causing it to grow larger steadily. A short while later it had reached the size of a watermelon.

Twilight furrowed her brow, concentrating harder. She was drenched in sweat now, her mane and tail were billowing from the pure energy being shot in front of her. She bit her lip harder, causing it to bleed slightly. As the blood trickled down her lip the beam of energy being shot into the wormhole grew, and as it did, so did the wormhole itself. By now it had reached the size of cupboard door and was still growing. A few moments later it was as large as a full-size door. Twilight relaxed her magic, allowing it to slow to complete stop. She was panting heavily, and her eyes were drooping. She wiped her brow and gave the wormhole a satisfied look.

“So that's it, huh?” Spike said, gesturing to the wormhole. Twilight nodded as Spike stepped closer to the cavity, examining it intently. As he gazed into it's vast emptiness he shivered, saying, “Looks kinda... ominous.”

“Don't be such a baby,” said Twilight casually as she approached the wormhole. She peered into its inky blackness, analyzing it with a scientific eye. “Looks safe enough to me,” she declared after some time.

“I'm not so sure about this,” Spike said, scratching his head.

“What's the matter? Never seen a space-time distortion before?” Twilight snickered.

“Well no, not—Whoa! Twilight what are you doing?” Spike cried out as he was lifted magically by Twilight. She pulled him close and dove straight into the wormhole. As they entered Spike felt a tugging sensation throughout his body, like he was being sucked into it. Darkness enveloped him as he tumbled through the portal, all of his senses were muted. He couldn't even see Twilight, though he knew she was still holding on to him.

Seconds later the darkness was replaced by blinding light as they tumbled out of the wormhole. An overwhelming sense of vertigo overtook Spike. He couldn't see anything but he felt wind buffeting his entire body, spinning him around. He blinked, tears forming in his eyes as his vision cleared.

As he tumbled uncontrollably he saw splashes of color; first green, then blue, then violet. His eyes slowly focused, allowing him to see that he was not on the ground, as he had hoped. Rather, he was falling very fast some distance above the ground. Next to him, tumbling equally uncontrollably, was Twilight. She had already acclimated to their predicament as her face has calm and her horn was alight with magic. Spike wasn't so calm, he started screaming, spreading his arms and legs out in an attempt to slow himself down.

“Would you shut up?” yelled Twilight over the howling wind. “I'm trying to concentrate!”

He was about to yell back when he suddenly felt himself slowing down greatly, finally coming to a full stop, though not on the ground. They were still hundreds, probably thousands of feet in the air, but they were no longer falling. Spike, who had covered his face with his hands, removed his claws and looked at Twilight. She was enveloped in reddish-purple magic and, when Spike looked at himself, so was he.

“You can make us fly?” asked Spike.

“In a sense,” Twilight admitted. “It's really more of a levitation spell, than one that actually allows us to fly.”

“That's convenient,” said Spike.

“Not really,” Twilight countered. “I've never actually tried it before,” she said. “I've only ever levitated objects, never ponies, and never so high.”

“What?” Spike cried. “You've never tried that before?”

“Now was a good a time as any,” she said, shrugging shoulders. “Besides, how was I supposed to know we would come out of that portal two miles above the ground.”

Spike stared open-mouthed at Twilight. “What do you mean, ‘how was I supposed to know’? I thought you knew where the wormhole was going to lead?” he said as he waved his arms around exasperatedly.

“I had a pretty good idea. I must have miscalculated somehow,” she reasoned, tapping a hoof to her chin. “Probably just miscarried a zero or something.”

“Unbelievable.”

“Oh, I'm sorry. Did you want to make the wormhole next time?” Twilight retorted, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

“No, I just—”

“Oh, shut up. Let's just try to figure out where we are.”

“And when,” added Spike.Twilight eyed him questioningly. “I figure if you've miscalculated and we ended up in the wrong location, then we probably also ended up in the wrong time,” he explained.

Twilight nodded her head in agreement. “That's probably true. And, if that's the case, we need to figure out how to get back to our own time so I can fix the wormhole and try again.”

“How do you plan on doing that?” Spike said, arching an eyebrow.

“I—I don't know,” Twilight admitted.

“Great,” Spike said, rolling his eyes.

"Would you just shut up?” Twilight snapped. “I'll figure out something, okay?”

“Yeah, you do that,” Spike said, crossing his arms and leaning back. He began scanning the sky, trying to get some kind of idea of where they were. He didn't find any landmarks he recognized, it was just fields and forests as far as the eye could see. Way off in the distance he could make out an odd formation of clouds. Some of them had what appeared to be specks of color on them and they were arranged in peculiar fashion. He strained his eyes, squinting through the bright sunlight to see three small ponies standing on one cloud. He was so far away he couldn't even distinguish one from the other, let alone figure out who they were.

“Do you see that?” Spike asked, pointing towards the ponies. Twilight's brow was furrowed and she was tapping her head, eyes shut; unable, or unwilling, to hear Spike. He floated over and tapped her on the shoulder. She looked up questioningly. He turned her head making her follow his line of sight across the sky to the mysterious ponies. Twilight's brow furrowed further as she too strained her eyes.

“Who is that?” she wondered.

“I can't tell,” Spike replied. “It's too far away to see, I can't—Wait! Look, they're getting closer!” he cried suddenly. The two of them gazed into the distance, pushing their eyes to the limit to see that, indeed, the ponies were getting closer. They could tell that two of them were different shades of brown and the third was sky blue. In fact, the third one nearly blended in with the sky itself if it weren't for the rainbow colored mane and tail. “I think—I think that's Rainbow Dash,” Spike exclaimed, completely bewildered.

“I think you're right,” Twilight said, equally confused. “But, what's she—” Twilight's eyes widened as a tiny light bulb went off in her head. She turned to face Spike, her eyes serious. “This must be the race she was talking about,” Twilight said. Spike shrugged. “You know,” insisted Twilight, “the race where she did her first Sonic Rainboom.”

Understanding crossed his face as Spike looked past Twilight, eyes on the race. “Wait a second,” he said, holding up his claw. “That means that I'm just an egg right now, and you're doing your magic test.”

“Do you know what this means, Spike?”

“No.”

“Oh... well, neither do I. I assumed you did.”

“I've got nothing,” Spike said, shrugging his shoulders.

“Crap,” Twilight muttered, “I really thought we—Hold on.” Twilight stopped suddenly, holding up a hoof. “What if we're supposed to help Rainbow Dash win the race?”

“That seems unlikely.”

“Think about it,” she said, her voice becoming grave. “We showed up at the exact moment when Dash did her first Sonic Rainboom.”

“Not the exact moment.”

“Shut up. Anyways, you think that's some kind of cosmic coincidence?”

“Yes.”

“You don't think there's more to it?”

“No.”

“Well I do. I think—” Twilight cut herself off, putting a hoof over Spike's mouth as she did. “Look,” she said, “Rainbow's falling behind. She's going to lose!” Twilight began looking around frantically. “What'll happen if she loses,” she mumbled. “I'll never pass my magic test and I'll never hatch you,” she said, looking at Spike. “I'll never become Celestia's student and I'll never meet my friends.” Twilight became more and more panicked. She started thumping her head with her free hoof. “Think, Twilight, think. What should I do?”

Spike pushed Twilight's hoof away from his mouth, saying, “What you should do is calm down and think this thr—” His speech was cut short by a short burst of energy being ejected from Twilight's horn. Briefly blinded, Spike shook his head and stared at Twilight.

“What the crap, Twilight!”

“I had to do something!” she exclaimed.

“No you didn't! Now what's going to happen?”

They both watched in silence as the reddish-purple blob of magic soared across the sky towards Rainbow Dash. By now she had fallen behind the other pegasus and she was struggling to catch up. She was already hurtling downwards at an incredible speed by the time Twilight's magic hit her and when it did that speed was increased threefold. Rainbow Dash seemed to slice through the air, the wind whistling past her, causing her mane and tail to whip about forcefully.

A cone of air had started to form around her head as she sped towards the ground. She had passed the other pony, sending him spinning into a cloud as she did. The mach cone narrowed as she was propelled faster and faster downwards. Her body seemed to stretch out as she reached previously unobtainable speeds. Twilight and Spike stared wide-eyed and open-mouthed as Rainbow Dash's speed reached such an intense level that she broke through the sound barrier, letting loose a massive explosion of light. The rainbow of colors silently moved across the sky, passing through them harmlessly. It was both beautiful and terrifying. Spike put his hands over his ears and rolled his body up as tight as he could, waiting for the inevitable,

BOOOOOOOOOOM!

The sky rattled as the sound of the explosion reached them. It sent them tumbling through the air, Twilight's magic interrupted by the force of the blast. As they spun around Spike felt that all-too-familiar sensation of vertigo as he began hurtling towards his certain death. His only comfort was in knowing that at least Twilight would face the same fate as him.

The End (Pt. II)

Chapter 3: The End (Pt. II)

As Spike hurtled towards the ground, spinning all the while, he caught a glimpse of Rainbow Dash rocketing upwards, almost angelically. Her mane and tail seemed to disappear into the rainbow streak she left in her wake. She soared majestically upwards while Spike fell gracelessly downwards. He clapped his hands together, praying that his death might at least be quick.

Moments before hitting the ground he felt the same suction as before, and the same utter darkness consumed him. Before he could process what had happened he was tumbling out of the wormhole and careening into a pile of books in Twilight's bedroom. He fell headlong into a particularly large stack of books that, when hit, fell on him one-by-one comically. As he rolled over, pushing the books off of himself and moaning, something heavy landed on top of him.

Twilight groaned, rolling over. “What did I land on?” she said, rubbing her back.

“Me,” grumbled Spike, coughing as he heaved himself up. “What happened?”

After dusting herself off Twilight proudly responded, “I saved us.”

“How?” Spike wondered as he massaged his stomach.

“I made another wormhole right before we landed.”

“How'd you make it so fast?”

“I don't really know,” Twilight confessed, shrugging her shoulders. “I guess I just did.”

“Good enough for me,” Spike replied. “Anyways, what the heck happened back there?”

Twilight looked over at where the wormhole had been, shaking her head. “I'm not sure,” she answered. “I think I caused the Sonic Rainboom.”

Spike stared at her, saying, “So, you caused the Sonic Rainboom, and, by extension, your own cutie mark to appear?” Twilight nodded slowly. “Dude, that's deep.” Spike ran a claw across his scales, shaking his head. “So, uh, what do we do now?”

Twilight walked towards the corner where the wormhole had been. “I guess we try again,” she said. Stepping closer to the corner she could see a faint crack in the wall. It was only a few inches long and no wider than a piece of paper. As she examined it closer she noticed that it wasn’t actually in the wall, rather, it was in the air, appearing to be part of the wall due to the fact that it was floating.

She cocked her head to the side, trying to peer into the hole. She couldn't make anything out, it was empty as far as she could tell. “Spike, come look at this,” she said, waving him over. Spike waded his way through the sea of books and planted himself next to Twilight. He craned his neck to look into the crack, unable to see anything besides the same bright white light Twilight saw. “What do you think it is?” she asked.

“Why are you asking me?” Spike replied, putting his claw over his chest. “You're the one who made it.”

“How do you know I made it?” Twilight retorted.

“It wasn't here before, right?” Spike questioned, Twilight reluctantly agreed. “So, that must mean that it was created when you made that wormhole.”

“That's actually a pretty good guess,” Twilight admitted.

“Thanks.”

“Oh, shut up.”

Twilight leaned forward, examining the bizarre crack closer, her brow furrowed. “You know what,” she said suddenly, stepping back from the fissure. “Why don't we just not worry about this now. We've still got to go back and stop Trixie from winning. We can figure out what this,” she motioned to the hole, “is later. Right now we've got some pony-ass to kick,” she said enthusiastically, clapping her front hooves together.

Before Spike even had a chance to respond Twilight's horn was already aglow with magic, and a tiny hole had opened in front of him. Within seconds it had grown large enough for them to enter. Twilight released the magic, allowing herself to relax. “You're getting pretty good at that,” Spike observed. He looked at her seriously, his eyebrows raised. “Are you sure you carried all your zeroes properly this time?”

“Just shut up and get in the damn wormhole.”

Spike chuckled and Twilight shook her head. Sobering up, the two of them looked sidelong at each other. They nodded then charged at the wormhole, diving in at the last second. Blackness and suction where the only things they saw and felt, respectively, for a few seconds. Then they fell out of the wormhole, tumbling into a tall pony.

He looked over his shoulder disdainfully, eyeing the pile of pony and dragon. “Sorry,” Twilight muttered, quickly gathering herself and Spike up, spiriting him away into a corner of the room. Once they had set down safely Spike looked around the room. He recognized it as Pinkie's basement, and it was the night of the fight. Ponies filled the room, they were cheering for the two combatants currently in the cage. Who those combatants were, Spike couldn't tell, there were far too many ponies in the way to see.

“Yes!” Twilight exclaimed, quietly hoof-pumping. “I was right!”

“Right about what?” Spike asked.

“About miscarrying that zero,” she replied.

Spike looked at her, one eyebrow arched. “Really?”

Twilight stared back at him with a deadpan expression. “Yes, really.” “I'll have you know,” she said, raising her hoof in protest, “That that was some extraordinarily difficult math that I—”

“Oh, and Handsome Henry goes down!” Twilight was cut off by the sound of Scootaloo shouting over the microphone. Twilight's eyes widened as realization hit her.

“Oh, crap.” Twilight was looking around furtively, searching the room. Apparently she didn't find what she was looking for because she turned back to Spike and said, “Ready?” Spike gaped at her, entirely not ready. “Good,” she said. He was about to protest when Twilight's horn flashed, momentarily blinding him. When his vision returned he started. Twilight had disappeared.

“Twilight?” he whispered. “Where are you?”

“I'm right here Spike,” she answered. But he could not see her. It sounded like her voice was coming from right in front of him, mere inches away. And yet, he could see nothing, there was no one in front of him. Figuring that by now Spike was most likely wondering where she was, Twilight headed him off. “I turned us invisible, Spike,” she whispered.

Spike looked down at his claws, at least, where is claws should be since he saw only the cold cement of Pinkie's basement. “How?” he asked quietly. “Also, why?”

Twilight sighed. “With an invisibility spell, idiot, and so we wouldn't be seen of course,” she hissed back.

“That... makes sense.”

“Idiot.”

“How come we have to whisper then?” Spike asked, still whispering.

“It's an invisibility spell. No one can see us, but that doesn't mean they can't hear us,” Twilight explained.

“Oh, well how come you don't do that too?” he asked.

“I don't know how to do that!” Twilight whispered angrily. “Come on,” she said, “enough screwing around. Let's find Trixie and get this over with.”

“What are you planning on doing?”

“Oh,” she said slowly. “I'm going to kill her”

“What!” Spike exclaimed, covering his mouth immediately afterwards.

Twilight chuckled, “I'm just kidding, Spike. I'm just going to make sure she loses, that's all. You get so worked up over everything, jeez.”

Spike calmed his beating heart and took a deep breath. “So what's your plan then?”

“When Trixie and past-me have our fight I'm going to knock her out with a spell right when my past-self hits her,” she said. “I think we should be starting any moment,” she added. As if on cue, the microphone crackled on and through the static Scootaloo's voice announced the start of the match.

“Let's get ready to rrrrrrrrrrrrrruuuuummmmbbbbllllleeeeee!”

“We have to get higher,” Twilight whispered.

Before Spike could respond he felt himself being lifted into the air, suspended by Twilight's magic. He now had a clear view of the cage where Trixie and past-Twilight were currently dancing around one another, their faces hard with determination.

“Ugh, does my ass really look that big?” Twilight muttered.

“Is that the most cliché thing you could think of to say?” Spike quipped. “Or do you want to try again?”

“Would you shut up?”

Spike chortled silently to himself before turning his attention back to the fight where Twilight had just taken a swing at Trixie and received a punishing blow in return. He cringed as she crashed into the cage wall. Watching Twilight get beat up was entertaining, but it hurt at the same time.

“Do I really suck that bad?” Twilight whispered.

“I wouldn't say you did well,” Spike whispered back.

“That was rhetorical.”

“I know.”

Twilight rolled her eyes invisibly, returning her attention to the fight. At that moment Trixie had just attempted to uppercut and her past-self had barely managed to avoid being hit. “Here's my chance,” Twilight whispered excitedly. As past-Twilight hooked her hoof into Trixie's side, floating-Twilight lit up her horn, firing a quick bolt of magic at Trixie. Moments before it hit the bolt dissipated, vanishing into thin air. “What—”

The sucking sensation came back suddenly, interrupting Twilight and pulling them into the void. They tumbled aimlessly through the blackness, caught completely unawares. An instant later they were skidding across the floor of Twilight's bedroom, scattering books everywhere and coming to rest against the far wall.

“—the hell?” Twilight finished. She stood up, no longer invisible, and ran back to the rapidly closing wormhole. By the time she reached it the portal had already shrunk to the size of a coin, closing milliseconds later. “No! No, no, no,” Twilight was frantically feeling the air, trying to find some trace of the wormhole. She waved her hooves around blindly, finding nothing. Meanwhile, Spike had managed to heave himself up and ford through the books to Twilight.

“What happened?” he asked, rubbing his head as Twilight tore at the air fruitlessly.

“I don't know!” she yelled, kicking a nearby pile of books in frustration. “The stupid wormhole just sucked us in and brought us back here!”

“Wait. I thought you did that?” Spike said, confused.

“Why would I do that?” Twilight demanded, “Hmm? What possible reason could I have for bringing us back?”

“I don't know I just—”

“How about you just shut up and let me think?” She shouted angrily. Spike sighed and stepped back, crossing his arms.

Twilight paced back and forth, oblivious to the books she was kicking around as she did. Spike watched her, as he did he noticed that behind her the crack from before had grown much larger. Now it was more like a crevice with an infinitesimal pit. It was nearly large enough for him to fit through now, though the white void beyond was frightening. It stretched out before him ominously. He put his arm in front of Twilight, stopping her pacing. She looked down at him, her eyebrows raised. He pointed behind her and she turned around.

“Holy crap...” she said slowly, her eyes widening. She moved closer to it, peering through the crack. She saw only the same white void that Spike saw. Walking around to the other side her head seemed to disappear behind it. She came back to the other side and looked into it again. “You can't see anything on the other side,” she said. “It's like nothing is there.” Her mouth hung open as she stared into the fissure's great maw, completely awestruck. She reached forward to touch it, her hoof extending slowly towards the bizarre anomaly. Spike's claw shot out, grabbing Twilight's hoof and pulling it back.

“Don't touch it!” he cried. “What are you thinking?” He shook his head. “I don't know what this is,” he said motioning towards the hole, “but it's probably dangerous. I think we should—Wait! I got it!” he shouted. Twilight turned to him eagerly.

“You know what this is?” she said, nodding her head at the crack.

“No, I mean I know why we were brought back to the present,” he answered.

“Oh...”

“I read it in a book,” he explained. “The universe kicked us out because we were trying to change the past.”

“Wait,” Twilight said, shaking her head and raising her hoof. “Then how come we didn't get kicked out when I caused the Sonic Rainboom?” she asked.

“Maybe you were supposed to do that,” Spike suggested.

“I knew it!”

“And anyways, I think that's the most likely explanation,” he continued.

“The universe kicked us out. That's the most likely explanation?” Twilight said sarcastically.

“Yeah, think about it,” he said. “What about causality?”

“Causality? What is that? And why should I care?” Twilight said, furrowing her brow.

“Causality is the relationship between two events where one is the cause and the other is the effect,” he explained. “For example, in our case you losing to Trixie would be the cause and then you creating a wormhole would be the effect. If you change history so that you don't lose then you would be creating a paradox where the thing that makes you change the past in the first place never have happened and so you wouldn’t have made a wormhole to change the past, thus making it impossible for you to have gone back in time to stop the thing that made you make the wormhole from happening.” He finished his sentence breathlessly. Stooping over, he inhaled slowly, catching his breath. Twilight's mouth was slightly open as she watched him, her brow arched.

“How do you know all that?” she asked.

“I read a lot of books,” he answered after calming down.

“I thought you said you couldn't read big words,” she said suspiciously.

Spike held up a finger. “I said I couldn't read legal words,” he clarified. “I didn't say I couldn't read scientific words.”

Twilight exhaled slowly, closing her eyes and pursing her lips. “I'm going to hit you now,” she said. Quick as lighting her hoof shot out, catching the left side of Spike's face. He stumbled backwards, his hand over his eye.

“What the hell, Twilight! You just sucker-punched me!” he shouted.

“I warned you.”

“Still!” He moved his hand away, blinking his eye. It had already swollen quite a bit, making it difficult for him to see. “How does it look?” he asked, his eye twitching.

Ignoring him, Twilight returned to her pacing. “The universe won't allow me to beat Trixie, hm? I don't accept that,” she said, stomping her hooves. “I refuse to believe that I'm powerless to change the past.” Her horn began to glow as she stopped pacing and started focusing her magic.

“Twilight! Stop!” Spike cried. “What are you doing?”

“I'm making another wormhole!” she shouted. “The universe won't push me around!”

“Didn't you listen to anything I said?” Spike pleaded.

“I don't give a damn about causality!” Twilight bellowed, the glow around her horn growing larger as she poured more magic into her spell. “I'll rip apart time and space if I have to!” she cried.

“That's exactly what you're doing!” Spike said as he pointed at the crack which was widening further and further. It now consumed the whole corner of the room, it's lines spreading farther the more magic Twilight forced out. She ignored him, her attention focused entirely on the image of Trixie standing over her smirking.

The look of resolve on Twilight's face would have been admirable were it not for the circumstances. The magic shooting out of her horn filled the room, forcing her head down as it ejected from her body. She pushed up, anger filling her eyes as she splayed her legs and increased the flow of magic. Spike stood behind her, watching as the sheer strength of her magic started forcing the fissure, more a valley now, wider and wider still. He knew that he couldn't say anything that would stop Twilight now, so he sat down silently. At least he would be comfortable for the end of the world.

Twilight's eyes were squeezed shut, she had no idea what kind of havoc she was wreaking. If she did, she probably would not have stopped anyways, she was too singularly focused on Trixie's defeat to stop now. With one final surge of magic the crack split wholly, tearing at the edges. It spread across the room and beyond, virtually ripping the air in two. As the white void stretched out before him, filling his vision, Spike took a deep breath and closed his eyes. A ripping sound filled the air as the fabric of space-time was torn asunder. Twilight's magic stopped of its own accord, finally halting when there was nothing left to pour into.

Spike opened his eyes slowly. The only thing he saw was Twilight standing, or floating, a few feet in front of him. Everything else was white, like a blanket of snow had covered the whole world. Only, it wasn't cold. In fact, it wasn't anything. It was just nothingness, the very definition of empty. There was no up or down, no direction at all. Spike didn't even feel like he was floating, he was just there. Twilight turned around, facing Spike. She looked around, seeing only the same void of nothingness that Spike saw. She opened her mouth slowly.

“Did—did I do this?” She asked as she looked around.

“Yep,” replied Spike.

“Where is everything?”

“Nowhere. There is nothing anymore,” Spike said bitterly. “You literally tore the fabric of space-time apart and virtually destroyed the universe.”

“How come we're still here?”

“Because the universe hates us.”

“I don't understand,” Twilight said, shaking her head.

“Neither do I.”

Twilight fell back on her haunches, as well as she could at least given that there was nothing to fall back on. She stared upwards, or downwards. “This is it, huh?”

“What do you mean?” Spike wondered.

“This is it,” Twilight said, pausing. “The end.”

“Yep.”

“This sucks.”

“Yep.”

The End (Pt. III): The Beginning

The End (Pt. III): The Beginning

“...Wait!” Twilight shouted after a long silence. Spike rolled his head to the side, looking at her. He raised an eyebrow. “This isn't the end,” she said. “It's the beginning!”

“No,” said Spike, “this is definitely the end. Look around,” he said, spreading his arms wide. “There's nothing left. This,” he said as he shook his arms, “is the end of everything.”

Twilight held up her hoof. “Except for us,” she clarified.

“So what?”

“So,” said Twilight slowly, “It means we can start over.”

Spike eyed her questioningly. “You mean like,” he paused for few seconds, “breeding?”

“What? Eww, no!” Twilight cried, sticking out her tongue. “I mean that we can go forward in time until everything starts over.”

“Oh,” Spike said, somewhat disappointed. “Are you sure it works like that?”

“Of course. Time is cyclical, and,” she continued, “I saw it in a TV show once.”

Spike cocked his head to the side. “A TV show?”

Twilight nodded excitedly. “Plus,” she added, “I've got a mar—”

Spike held up his hand, silencing Twilight. “I believe you.” He shook his head. “But still, how you plan on making us travel forward in time?”

Twilight smiled knowingly. “Do you remember,” she said, “back when I was telling you about tachyons?” Spike nodded slowly. “I said that they could only be used for forward time-travel.” Spike's eyes widened as Twilight's smile grew.

“But,” said Spike, “where are we going to find tachyons? It's not like you just carry them—” Spike's sentence was cut short when Twilight produced a small jar, filled with what he presumed to be tachyons. Twilight lifted the jar, displaying it proudly. “Oh come on, you have got to be—really?” He stared at Twilight incredulously. “You just carry those around, do you?” he said, pointing at the jar.

Twilight nodded, still smiling. “These are my emergency tachyons,” she explained as she jiggled the jar. “I always have them with me. You know,” she said, winking, “in case of time-travel emergency.”

Spike closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. Sighing slowly he replied, “Where do you even keep those?”

“I don't think that's important.”

Rolling his eyes, Spike responded, “Well, how are you going to use them?”

Twilight tapped her chin thoughtfully. “I don't know,” she finally admitted. “I guess I can just apply the same type of magic I used for backwards time-travel.” She shrugged her shoulders. “That will probably work.”

“Probably?”

“Did you have another suggestion?” Twilight replied sarcastically.

“I—well—no, not really I guess,” Spike confessed, dropping his arms.

“Good,” Twilight replied cheerily. Taking a deep breath she said, “Okay.” Twilight unscrewed the lid of the jar and poured the contents into the void. They hung in the white space, floating in the nothingness. Spike stared at the tachyons, they were pitch black but surrounded by a light pink and yellow aura. They grouped themselves into a small circle and bobbed up and down slightly.

“I thought they were supposed to be tiny,” Spike pointed out.

“Evidently not,” Twilight mumbled. “Anyway, here goes nothing.” Twilight sucked in her breath as her horn began to emanate a faint purplish light. The light grew stronger and more pronounced the longer she kept the spell going. Beads of sweat began to form on her forehead from the strain, soaking the bandage wrapped around her head. Her magic spilled over the ring of tachyons, exciting them. They began to bounce around occasionally stopping suddenly and reversing direction. As they shot around, everywhere they touched seemed to catch fire. Not literally, but the white nothingness seemed to burn away at their touch, leaving black spots all over the place. As the black spots grew so did their number. Soon they had burned away the entire white void, leaving a black void in its place.

“This doesn't seem much better,” Spike complained. “Everything is just black now. How is this diff—” Spike was interrupted by the birth of a tiny white speck far off in the distance. He stared at it, trying to discern what it was. He glanced at Twilight, but she was still heavily focused on casting her magic. Her face was calm despite the extreme force she was exerting. Spike watched as she emptied all of her magical energy into the tachyons, sending them further and further away. As they bounced away they caused more white specks to appear, eventually they dotted the blackness like snowflakes. They grew in size slowly.

Spike looked on in wonderment as the universe began to build up around him. Each tiny mote of light was a star being formed, and each star had started forming its own system of planets. Soon the sky, since that is what Spike realized the dark void was now, was filled with star systems and planets. He could start to make out the formation of constellations he recognized. Not too far from him he saw Orion begin to take shape as well as the Little and Big Dippers. His jaw dropped slightly as the magnitude of the universe finally hit him. There were millions of specks and, by extension, millions of planets, and they, were just one tiny planet in all the vastness of space.

Speaking of their planet, Spike looked down to see that it had begun to take shape under his feet. The sun was growing every second, filling the sky with its heat. As it did it began to evaporate the seas that covered the planet, leaving behind spits of land all over the place. Twilight's magic, which had destroyed the universe once before, was now bringing it back to life. Spike was awestruck, his jaw dropping further as she breathed everything back into existence.

He turned his attention away from Twilight and back to the planet beneath him that had just seen its first land-based life forms. He watched as they lived and died, and grew, all at an accelerated pace. He gaped at evolution happening right before his eyes, and he saw the first dragons take shape, his ancestors. Ponies too had begun to evolve. It would seem they did not get along though since the dragons were killing thousands of ponies. Luckily Twilight's eyes were clenched shut and she did not see the massacre, so Spike breathed a sigh of relief. He watched as cities and towns rose and fell just as the mountains had risen from the earth before. Far at the top of a mountain he could see Canterlot beginning to take shape. For a brief moment the sun did not rise and it stayed dark. He looked up to the moon and he saw that it was completely barren. He kept his eyes trained on it however, waiting patiently. Soon its surface became pockmarked, seemingly randomly at first and then the marks started to take the shape of a pony's head. Spike watched as the Mare in the Moon was built in mere seconds. They were getting close now.

Ponyville had already begun building up around him by now, but the inhabitants seemed to be blissfully unaware of Twilight and himself. Spike figured that was most likely to due to some of Twilight's black magic. Before long he began to see buildings he knew take shape. In fact, for the past while he had seen a tree that was planted by one of the Ponyvillians grow into the library they lived in now. Many different ponies came into the tree as it was hollowed out and construction began on the library. What took years to build took seconds for Spike to observe. The bedroom they had been in built up around them, all the furniture seemed to appear out of nowhere. Soon the room was exactly as Spike remembered it.

He glanced out the window and saw the Mare in the Moon had recently disappeared and seconds later he saw himself and Twilight in fast-motion eating, sleeping, and generally living in the bedroom. He was about to call out to Twilight and tell her to slow down, but she had already reduced the flow of magic pulled the tachyons back in. Their forward travel slowed down to an almost normal speed as the tachyons began to reform the ring and Twilight's horn started to dim. Finally they stopped altogether, coming to rest comfortably in the same positions they had left in. Twilight gathered her tachyons back in the jar and put them away.

Spike gazed around the room and saw that Twilight was panting heavily. He was impressed by her prowess. He grinned, Twilight really was an amazing mare. She had both destroyed and rebuilt space and time all in one day. He approached Twilight and laid a claw on her shoulder comfortingly.

“That was amazing. Is everything back exactly like it was?” he asked.

Twilight, still wheezing, replied in between breaths. “It... should... be.” She took one deep breath and exhaled slowly through her nose. More calmly she added, “This should be a carbon copy of our time and universe.”

Spike nodded his head, “It looks just like I remember it.” His brow furrowed, “Actually,” he said. “Something does seem a little different. I think we stopped about a month too early,” he said pointing at a calender hanging on the wall.

Twilight smiled, “I know.”

“Why?”

“Because I—” Twilight was prevented from explaining herself by the sudden opening of the library door.

“Oh, what do you know, Spike?”

“I'm just saying that I think your mane would look really cool if it was blue. Like a dark sea blue or something. That would be awesome.”

“Just shut up, you have no idea what you're—”

Twilight and Spike stopped suddenly as they noticed Twilight and Spike were already standing in the room. “What the hell is going on here?” said the Twilight who had just walked in.

“Seriously, how is there two of us?” added new-Spike.

“Somepony care to explain thi—” New-Twilight was cut off by her and new-Spike's sudden disappearance in a flash of light. The Spike that was left glanced over at the remaining Twilight.

“Did you do that?” he said slowly.

She nodded silently.

Spike threw his arms out, “Why?”

“They were getting on my nerves. That, and they were creating a paradox.” Spike spread his arms further. “What?” Twilight said. “We can't have two Twilights and two Spikes running around. They had to go.”

“What did you do with them,” questioned Spike. “You didn't... kill them, did you?”

Twilight laughed. “No no, I just sent them to the moon,” she said. Seeing Spike's look of horror she added, “I'm sure they'll be fine. If I know Twilight then I know she'll figure out a way to survive in the vacuum of space.”

“But won't that mean they'll come back?” he asked.

“Oh, I don't think they'll be a problem,” said Twilight, waving a hoof dismissively. “Anyways, as I was saying before we were interrupted, the reason I stopped us a month ahead of time was so that I could train more. To beat Trixie,” she added upon seeing Spike's arched eyebrows.

“Trixie has been boxing for years, and you think a month will give you enough time to train?” Spike scoffed. “You should've stopped way back,” he said, making a fist and pointing his thumb over his shoulder.

Twilight sighed. “This will have to do. Now come on, we've got a lot of training to do.” She swooped across the room and pulled Spike out the door and into the hallway. They rushed out of the library and across town. Eventually they reached the gym, Twilight's apparent destination. She bucked open the door dramatically and approached the front desk. She dragged Spike behind her before sliding him across the floor and into the reception desk. Placing her front hooves on the wooden desk she opened her mouth to speak.

“Do you have a membership?” asked the mare behind the desk dryly.

Twilight held up a hoof, her mouth still open. “Damn,” she grumbled, placing her hoof back down. Kneeling down to Spike she whispered, “I forgot that this Twilight hasn't got a membership here yet.” She pursed her lips silently. A few seconds later her eyes lit up. “Hold on! This Twilight also hasn't got a membership at that stupid yacht club yet!” she whispered excitedly. “That means I've got plenty of money.” Spike gaped at her. Standing back up Twilight glared at the reception desk mare and said, “No, but I would like one.” She looked down at Spike, winking at him. He looked away, rolling his eyes.

A couple of minutes later Twilight had finished filling out the membership application and payed her twenty bits. She handed the paper to the mare and received a laminated membership card in return. Holding it triumphantly above her head Twilight cried out, “With this I shall defeat Trixie!”

“I think you're being a bit over-dramatic,” Spike said, scratching his head.

“Oh, shut up.”

___

Several hours later Twilight and Spike left the gym. Breathing heavily, Twilight stretched out her back and shook out her limbs, cracking her neck as she exhaled slowly.

“I thought that went very well,” she said after stretching.

“Yeah,” Spike agreed. “They actually had a punching bag and everything.”

Twilight nodded her head. “It's weird that that was the one thing different about this universe.”

“Like some kind of tiny deus ex machina.”

“Oh well,” Twilight said, shrugging her shoulders. “You won't hear me complaining.”

“So,” said Spike, looking up at Twilight. “Are you going to do this everyday?”

Twilight, after taking a deep breath, responded, “Yep. Up until my fight with Trixie at least.”

“It's going to be a long month,” said Spike as he stared into the sky.

“Yep.” She followed Spike's gaze into the sky. After a long pause she finally spoke up. “Well,” she sighed, “we better get back home before it gets dark.” Spike nodded. The two collected themselves and made their way back to the library, and to their beds.

The next morning Spike was woken by the sounds of Twilight making coffee downstairs. He yawned, stretching his arms out wide. Scratching his back he rolled out of bed and made for the kitchen. There he found Twilight pouring herself a cup of coffee.

“There you are,” she said, noticing Spike walk in. “I was wondering when you'd get up.”

Spike yawned again. “What time is it?” he asked groggily.

“6:30,” Twilight replied cheerily. “We have a lot to do, so we need to be up as early as possible.”

Spike rubbed his eyes, yawning yet again. “I thought you were the one training, not me.”

“But, I need your help.” Spike sighed. “Oh, don't be such a baby,” snapped Twilight. “You barely do anything as it is.”

“Why even do this at all?” asked Spike.

“Why?”

“Yeah, why not just send Trixie to the moon or, better yet, just don't sign the paper since you know it's coming? Why bother training at all?”

“I want to prove I can beat her,” Twilight answered. “It's not about the library. This is between me and her.”

“Whatever you say,” Spike said, waving his hand.

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Just shut up.”

Over the next few minutes Twilight finished her cup of coffee. Once she was done she 'convinced' Spike to help her at the gym. They spent all day training, stopping only rarely for breaks and only once to eat. Twilight would spend several hours working on her endurance by running or trotting on the treadmill and another several building her strength with weights. She went everywhere on her hind legs so she could practice balancing on them. She also started adding protein supplements to her morning coffee, and her meals. For the rest of the month everyday was spent training. Twilight shut everything else out of her life. She ignored her friends, her family, and, on more than one occasion, she neglected to feed Spike. But, it was all worth it when the day finally came for her to face Trixie.

Twilight and Spike stood in front of Sugar Cube Corner once again. She was decidedly more muscular this time around though, and he was looking a little more haggard. Without even bothering to knock on the door Twilight flung it open, yelling, “Pinkie!”

A few moments later Pinkie bounced her way across the bakery and stopped in front of Twilight. Giggling, she exclaimed, “Hiya, Twilight! Hey there, Spike!” She waved her hoof excitedly. “You could've just knocked,” she said, looking at the broken hinges on the door.

Twilight was in no mood to deal with Pinkie so she stomped her hooves on the ground angrily. “Pinkie,” she said, “just shut up and take me to Trixie. I know she's staying in your basement,” she snapped. “I also know why she's here,” she added, cutting off Pinkie's intended reply.

Pinkie giggled and started bouncing again. “Okey dokey loki!” She hopped away, leading them into the basement towards their, hopefully, final confrontation with Trixie. Twilight's heart began to beat fast, she felt nervousness overcome her. She knew that she was prepared but still, she couldn't help but feel the same apprehension that she felt the first time she fought Trixie. The memory of her defeat swam back to the forefront of her mind as she slowly descended the steps. As she rounded the corner she saw, sitting under the same naked light bulb, Trixie. She was just as Twilight remembered. Her magician's hat pulled down over her eyes and her cape resting lazily behind her. Not to be fooled this time, Twilight sucked in her chest and strode determinedly over to the sleeping mare. She slammed her hoof down on the table, waking Trixie unceremoniously. She fell backwards, tumbling out of her chair. Twilight waited patiently for Trixie to gather herself.

“Wh—Who dares disturb The Great and Powerful Trixie!” she demanded as she stood up clumsily, her hat perched precariously on her head.

“Save it,” Twilight hissed, holding up her hoof. “I know why you're here,” she said calmly. Trixie opened her mouth to protest, but Twilight cut her off. “And I know that you have the deed to my house. I don't care about that,” she said, putting her hoof down. “I want to fight you.”

“Trixie won't ask how you know all that.”

“Good.”

“But, she will tell you that we won't fight until midnight tomorrow,” she said, smirking. “Trixie wants to gather a crowd, so that you can lose in front of everyone, just like she did.”

Twilight shook her head. “No. We fight tonight,” she said, slamming her hoof down. “Right here, right now.” She emphasized each word with another stomp.

Trixie grinned, saying, “Trixie has to wonder why you are so eager? It is not what she expected.”

“Let's just say I've got a score to settle,” Twilight said, narrowing her eyes.

Trixie stared into Twilight's lavender eyes, drilling holes into them. After a long silence, and a lot of staring, Trixie broke her death glare and said, “Very well then. We shall have our match tonight.” Turning to Pinkie Pie she said, “You, annoying one, fetch Trixie's wrappings, she shall not fight without them.”

As Pinkie started bouncing away Twilight called after her. “And grab some for me as well,” she said, not looking away from Trixie.

For a time they sat waiting, Twilight and Spike whispered back and forth while Trixie slowly removed her hat and cape. She took them off carefully and laid them gently on the table, placing her hat on top of her folded cape. She then stepped back from the table and reared up on her hind legs. With a hard look on face she began to practice punching by repeatedly swinging at the air. She kept on the edges of her hooves as she did, always bobbing slightly. She seemed to be light as a feather as she stood on her hind legs effortlessly. Twilight couldn't help but admire how easy she made it look. She clearly was a master of boxing, her form was perfect and her punches were powerful. With each jab she exhaled, sometimes making several quick jabs in a row. Her mane and tail bounced as she danced around and her muscles rippled with each punch.

Finally, Pinkie returned and deposited several rolls of bandages on the table. “There ya go!” she said cheerfully as Trixie dropped to all fours and Twilight stopped whispering to Spike. Pinkie Pie seemed to be blissfully unaware of the circumstances. That, or she just was unshakably happy. Twilight envied her somewhat, then realized how stupid that was and shook her head. She leaned forward and snatched a roll off the table with her mouth as Trixie did the same. They both started wrapping their hooves. Twilight was quite practiced at it now and she could do it almost as quickly as Trixie. It was cathartic for her, wrapping her hooves. She took a deep breath once she was done, shaking out her shoulders and standing on her hind legs. She made two quick jabs and then looked at Trixie. She was standing on her hind legs as well, cracking her neck and shaking her limbs.

Twilight breathed in sharply then slowly let it out through her nose. Clapping her hooves together she said, “Let's do this.”

Trixie nodded, raising up her hooves in the defensive position. “Let's.”

They moved to the center of the room and tapped hooves before backing away. Trixie spit on the ground and started shuffling her hooves, circling Twilight. Twilight matched her, her hooves raised, and they began their dance. Spike and Pinkie watched from the sidelines as tension filled the air. The two ponies glared at each other as they circled, each refusing to break eye contact. Trixie was the first to make a move. She lunged forward taking a reckless swing at Twilight's left side. Twilight smirked, side-stepping the blow and retaliating with one of her own. It caught Trixie's rib cage, causing her to stumble backwards slightly before regaining her footing. She coughed slighlty, spitting up a small amount of blood. Smirking, Trixie wiped her mouth with her hoof and returned to the fight. She made another quick jab at Twilight's left side, but this time anticipated her dodge and punished with a left hook. The blow caught Twilight right below her liver. She held her hoof over her side as she staggered back. Trixie grinned as Twilight spit up blood, wheezing slightly.

“You must think Trixie is some kind of amateur,” she said haughtily, “to believe that she would fall for the same maneuver twice.” She laughed as Twilight wiped her mouth and shook her head. Twilight lurched towards Trixie as she laughed, releasing a powerful corkscrew punch into her stomach. Trixie was caught off guard and took the full force of the attack. She doubled over, coughing up more blood. Twilight stepped back, keeping on the edges of her hooves and bobbing up and down. She let Trixie regain her composure and her stance before grinning at her contemptuously.

“You must think I'm some kind of amateur to not take advantage of such a clear opening,” she laughed.

Trixie smirked back at Twilight arrogantly. “Not bad,” she admitted. “But you are still no match for Trixie.”

“Is that so?” countered Twilight. “We'll see about that.”

They returned to their positions and renewed their duel. Now, however, Trixie was a little more cautious. She took care not to underestimate Twilight, even if she was just an amateur. As they bounced around they swapped jabs, parrying or dodging each one in turn. After a few minutes or so the match began to take its toll. They were both sweating profusely and their bandages were frayed, along with their manes and tails.

Trixie wiped her brow, clearing the sweat away before saying, “How long have you been boxing, Sparkle?”

Twilight, panting, replied, “About a month now.”

Trixie looked surprised. “Only a month?”

“What can I say?,” Twilight retorted, shrugging. “I'm a fast learner.” She put her hooves in front of her face.

“Trixie admits that is quite impressive. But, you still lack experience.”

As she said that Trixie leapt forward and began her attack again. She swung at Twilight relentlessly, but she was careful not to leave herself open. Each punch was quick and precise, too quick for Twilight to punish. Twilight held up her hooves and defended herself as best she could, turning as she needed to make each hit do as little damage as possible, but it was no use. Eventually, Trixie opened Twilight up and was able to get one quick jab in, causing Twilight to falter in her defense. Trixie took full advantage of this opportunity and began beating on Twilight's now undefended midsection. She jabbed repeatedly into her stomach, following her as Twilight stepped backwards. She held up her hooves to cover her face, hoping at least to protect her upper body. She staggered backwards and eventually tripped, moving her left hoof to catch herself, she left her face undefended. Trixie smirked as she saw this. Her right hoof shot out, hitting Twilight square in the jaw.

She fell backwards, landing hard on the ground. She coughed up more blood, spitting out a tooth. Trixie's smile grew wide as she swooped in to finish the wounded mare off. Twilight lay helpless on the ground while Trixie savagely attacked her face, hitting her over and over again. She sat there, her face becoming more and more bloodied as Trixie swung at her. Twilight's vision began to fade as she looked up at Trixie. She saw her smirking face, that raw power in her eyes, and suddenly a spark of determination lit in her own eyes. She lost to Trixie once, and it wasn't going to happen again. As Trixie launched her right hoof at Twilight's face she parried it with her left hoof, swatting it away and delivering her own right hook. Her hoof planted itself in Trixie's side, causing her to spit up more blood, spraying on Twilight's face. Twilight jumped up with renewed vigor and began battering Trixie's open stomach. She jabbed at her ribs brutally, returning the beating she had just received.

Twilight was now on the offensive. Right, right, right, left, right. Over and over again she hooked and jabbed at Trixie's sides and middle. She stumbled backwards, falling over just as Twilight had done. Twilight saw her chance for revenge and leapt on top her and began assaulting Trixie's face. With every punch Trixie's head turned away and then came back just in time to be hit again. It was quite a sight to see two mare's beating the hell out of each other. Spike whistled slowly and Pinkie bounced up and down with a huge smile across her face.

“This so exciting!” she exclaimed.

Twilight had raised one hoof high into the air to deliver a ruinous haymaker. But, as she did Trixie kicked at her side and caused Twilight to roll over. The two lay on the ground panting, just a few feet from each other. Breathing heavily, Trixie was the first to get up. She stood slowly, her hooves were wobbly and she was still coughing up blood. She wiped her mouth with her now blood-soaked bandages and waited for Twilight to stand. Twilight lay looking up at the ceiling. She tasted iron and she felt another loose tooth. Finally, she rolled over and heaved herself up, returning to her hind legs. Using her tongue she felt around her mouth for anymore missing teeth. Finding none she gathered all the blood in her mouth and spit it on the ground. She wiped her mouth, looking down at her bloodied, frayed, and torn bandages. Looking up she saw Trixie, her hooves held up shakily, standing there, waiting for her. Twilight breathed in slowly, then put her hooves up once more, exhaling as she did.

They both approached the center of the room. Their movements were sluggish, and their punches weak. Neither seemed to be able to land a decent hit. Wheezing Twilight said, “Let's end this.” She lurched forward, hooking her right hoof as hard as she could at Trixie. Hoping that a combination of surprise and fatigue would prevent her from dodging. The punch seemed to fly in slow-motion, rocketing at Trixie's face. Twilight had put all of her power into it, and she had very little power left. Trixie saw the punch coming and she smirked. Despite her tiredness she was still able to dodge the attack and, due to its all-in nature, it left Twilight wide open. Twilight's eyes widened as she saw Trixie's smiling face disappear from view. “No,” she breathed quietly.

A split second later Trixie appeared from underneath Twilight, her right hoof soaring upwards directly into Twilight's jaw. The force of the uppercut lifted Twilight into the air. She felt like she was floating, it was almost peaceful in a way. Then the fall came and she hit the ground, coughing as she did. Trixie stood victoriously over her. She knelt down, whispering into to Twilight's ear she said,

“Was there ever any doubt?”

That was the last thing Twilight heard before blacking out. Trixie stood slowly, peering down at her unconscious form with a smirk on her face. She dusted herself off and began unwrapping her bandages. Spike watched her, his mouth hanging open. Pinkie was next to him, still bouncing obliviously. Trixie finished removing her wrappings and spit them on the ground. She took two steps and then collapsed on the ground, falling asleep before she even it the floor. Spike shook his head slowly.

“Well,” he said after a pause, “I guess that's it then. Twilight lost... again.”

“Again?” asked Pinkie.

Spike shook his head. “I was just thinking out loud.” Pinkie eyed him suspiciously. “It's nothing, really,” he said.

“Okey dokey loki!” Pinkie replied happily. Luckily Pinkie was easily swayed.

Spike breathed in deeply through his nose, and then let it out slowly. “I suppose I better take her home then,” he said, motioning to Twilight.

“Oh! Oh! I'll help!” Pinkie shouted bouncing over to Twilight's unconscious body.

“Yeah, yeah. Alright, you can help.”

“Yay!”

___

After he and Pinkie managed to drag Twilight back to the library, Spike got some much needed rest. For once, he was not woken by any loud noises, or any of Twilight's outbursts. He was able to sleep through the whole night and he woke the next morning feeling fully rested. Stretching and yawning as he rolled out of bed, Spike looked over to see Twilight still sound asleep. The night before must have been pretty rough on her. Her face was cut and bruised in many places and the rest of her body, specifically her ribs, fared little better. He had taken the bandages off her hooves before putting her to bed and now in the morning light he saw that they were bruised badly.

Spike furrowed his brow and tapped his chin. His eyes lit up as an idea came to him. He rushed downstairs and into the kitchen where he began making Twilight's coffee. He also cracked a couple of eggs and began mixing together the ingredients for pancakes. He figured Twilight could use a bit of a pick-me-up when she finally awoke.

As the hummed, stirring away at the batter he heard a knock at the door. Putting down the whisk he licked his fingers and jumped off the stool. Walking over to the door he wondered to himself who could be here at such an early hour. When he opened the door he wondered no more. Standing there, looking just as bad as Twilight, was Trixie. Her mane was dirty and her face stained with blood. She had gauze wrapped all around her head and many tiny cuts and bruises. Though, she still had that same look of confidence, or arrogance, on her face. Her hat and cape were back in their rightful places, and she was smirking, like always.

“Trixie would like to speak with the contemptible mare you call 'Twilight',” she said.

“Is this about the library?” questioned Spike.

Trixie nodded, still smirking. Spike sighed, “Fine, I'll go get her.” Spike hurriedly went upstairs into the bedroom where he found Twilight just waking up.

“Is someone making pancakes?” she asked groggily, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

Ignoring her question Spike grabbed her hoof and pulled her out of bed. “Trixie's here,” he said urgently.

Twilight's eyes shot wide open. “Crap.” She ran over to the mirror and began brushing out her mane. She looked at her face and saw how badly she had been beaten. She felt her face, wincing as she touched the bruises. Turning back to Spike she asked, “How do I look?”

Spike shook his head, narrowing his eyes. “Why do you care?”

“Oh, shut up. Let's just go downstairs.” Twilight flung open the bedroom door and trotted down the stairs. She approached the front door with Spike in tow. Opening it slowly she saw Trixie standing on the other side. Her hat now off and in her left hoof. “Yes,” Twilight said quickly, “can I help you?”

Trixie laughed sarcastically. “Very funny. Trixie presumes you know why she's here?”

Twilight sighed. “Yes, I know.”

“Good, that will save some time.” Trixie reached into her hat and fished out a official looking paper. Showing it to Twilight she said, “Here is the deed you signed. It says that you will relinquish your property to Trixie.”

“Trixie,” Twilight said calmly. “Isn't there any kind of deal we can work out?”

Trixie shook her head, chuckling. “I'm afraid not, Sparkle. You lost the fight and so too shall you lose your home. And this,” she said, shaking the paper, “is the proof.”

Twilight's eyes narrowed as Trixie shook the paper. “Wait a second,” she said suspiciously. “Let me see that.” She made a grab for the paper, but Trixie pulled it away quickly so Twilight was only able to grab half of it. It tore across the middle as Twilight held on to one end while Trixie yanked away the other. Twilight looked down at the half she held in her mouth, spitting it into her hoof. Her eyebrows raised as she read the torn paper.

“Is this for real?” she asked, holding it up. “Did you write this yourself?”

Trixie looked around shiftily, finally confessing, “Alright fine.” She crossed her hooves and tossed the paper aside. “I faked the deed.”

Twilight stared open-mouthed at her. “Why?” she asked, shaking her head. “And also, why are you speaking in first person now?”

“It's tiring to always speak in third person,” she said as she shrugged her shoulders. “And besides, it's really just an act.” Twilight gaped at her. “The reason I forged that deed—”

“Poorly I might add,” interjected Twilight.

Trixie glared at her, Twilight closed her mouth. “Is because,” she paused. “Well, to be honest, I'm homeless.” Twilight was about to say something but she cut her off. “After the whole 'Ursa Major' incident I was left without a carriage, which, I might add, was also my home. It was destroyed by the bear you see,” she explained. “So, after a long time and a lot of thinking I decided to come back to Ponyville. Mostly to get revenge on you,” she said, pointing at Twilight. “But, also to find a home. I figured I could kill two birds with one stone and just win your home from you. I knew that I could never win in a magic duel so I challenged you to the only thing I knew well enough to beat you at, boxing.” Twilight listened silently as Trixie told her story. “I also knew that I would never get you to agree to wager your home. That is why I tricked your dragon into having you sign those papers, which I forged,” she added after a second. “I didn't really think you would put up much of a fight when I came to collect, so I wasn't too worried about you discovering that the documents were fake.”

Twilight glanced down at the paper she held in her hoof. “You thought this,” she held up the forgery, “would fool me? This is like, baby-town nonsense right here. I realized it was a fake as soon as I saw it,” she said tapping the paper.

Trixie held up a hoof. “Ah, but you did sign it,” she chuckled. Twilight opened her mouth about to make a witty comeback and then she closed it again, unable to come up with anything. Spike chortled behind her.

“Oh, shut up, Spike.” Twilight turned back to Trixie. “So, where does this leave us?” she said.

Trixie sat there silently for a long time, staring at the ground. Finally she opened her mouth slowly and asked, “Can I come live with you?”

Twilight nearly fell over from shock. She tilted her head, staring at Trixie with her mouth hanging open. “Seriously?”

Trixie shrugged. “I've got nowhere else to go.”

Twilight stared silently at Trixie, transfixed. She couldn't believe where this situation had ended up. She clenched her eyes shut and tilted her head back. After a long silence she finally opened her eyes and brought her head back down. She sighed slowly. “Sure, I guess so.” Spike stared up at Twilight stupefied. Trixie smiled, standing up straight.

“Excellent!” she said excitedly.

Twilight waved Trixie inside, saying, “Well, come on in then. The guest room is upstairs and to the right.” Spike stood in the doorway, in shock, until Twilight pushed him out of the way. Trixie trotted through the door and upstairs. As she passed by the kitchen she called back to Twilight.

“Is someone making pancakes?” Receiving no answer she continued on her way upstairs.

Twilight and Spike stood in the main hall, Spike shuffling his feet and Twilight thinking to herself.

“Why did you let her stay?” Spike eventually asked.

Twilight looked up to the bedroom where Trixie had just opened the door. She watched her walk inside, shutting the door behind her. Without looking back at Spike she answered, “Because, Spike. She may be arrogant and self-centered, but she is a damn good boxer, and it took a lot of guts for her to ask to stay here.” She looked away from the bedroom door and back down at Spike, blushing slightly. “Also,” she added, “I feel kind of guilty since I'm semi-responsible for her current homelessness.”

Spike arched an eyebrow. “Semi?”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Oh, shut up.” After a short pause she patted Spike on the back. “Come on,” she said, “let's go finish making those pancakes.”

As they walked towards the kitchen Spike glanced up at Twilight. “Does this mean there's going to be a sequel,” he asked.

Twilight, without looking down, nodded. “Yeah, I guess so.”

Spike crossed his arms. “Damn, I hate sequels.”