Fallout Equestria: Chasing Paradise

Chapter 1: Up and At ‘Em

How would you feel if you knew you were constantly being watched? Always under someone’s gaze, judging you, questioning if you have the willpower to wake up again today? I often ask myself these kinds of questions in the morning. Maybe it’s my conscious or maybe it’s just some terrible form of paranoia that keeps me on these topics. Despite this thought, the travel from my cot to the little bookstore just a ways off from the center plaza of the stable was not a long one. However, given that this place is so small, saying something was a short trot away applied to just about everywhere. I keep along the left wall and mind my own, other ponies passing me talking and going about their day. The buzz of others voices along with the constant hum of the generators is a sound one may find annoying at first but is something you easily become used to.

I will admit that social interaction was never my strong suit, which may be why I work in the back of a bookstore that rarely anypony visits, but the life I live is nothing to complain about. I finally reach my destination and use my magic to push the door open. “Good mornin’ Frost, how’re you this fine morning?” The stallion who put the question out was none other than Blizzard Storm, my father. His blue coat and accompanying light blue mane were very similar to mine, which lead people to say I got all of his traits rather than my mother, although nopony really knew or knows my mother.

“Good morning to you too dad. I’m hanging in there, just like I always am.” I move around him and the little counter at the back of the store and up to the door leading into the backroom. “Going to get to work bright and early as usual today.” I turn to send that message to my father before slipping into the backroom. The little room with a single light in the back of the bookstore was my abode, my oasis of knowledge and freedom, with where I could truly be myself. Lined along the walls were stacks of books, all organized and neatly put away, which I took quite the pride in. Positioned right in the center of the room was a soft bedding that I had brought in myself to sit down at when I read, which I do most of the day.

I slowly make my way around the room, following the lines of book shelves looking up and down at all of the books. Many different genres and stories lay within these little walls. Stories of dragons of old, the princesses and their plight, the technological wonders of the world we put together before our untimely demise, amongst fantasies and romances and even a few mysteries. I slip a book about unicorn magic off the shelf and take it, along with a few other books from a writer working in the stable named Copper Script. I never came to meet this mare or stallion however, and I assumed the reason was due to a ghost writing name, rather than that of their actual name. I sat myself down on my little cushion and opened to the first few pages and began to read, trying to make little sparks and other small magical effects that the books were trying to teach. Most were small party tricks and nothing particularly useful but they interested me all the same. I had nothing much for magic despite a small telekinesis and the ability to turn a small amount of water into ice, which was a skill my parents passed down to me, and their parents to them and so forth.

A few hours passed by, with nothing to be heard but the turning of pages and some small sparks of magic in various shapes and sizes. Eventually there was a bell and the sound of the front door opening. “Good Morning! Anything I could interest you in, or help you with?” My father was much better than working with people than I was, hence my position in the back in comparison to his in the front. A quieter response was heard shortly after and that was that. There was little more sound other than the pony in the front finding something he or she wanted, purchasing it, and then leaving. This monotony was commonplace and I never minded it.

Our work days were short in the stable. More often than not ponies would mull about and talk amongst themselves rather than work, and currency was rarely passed around as we had no real need for it. The books in the store were all free, ponies just want the sentiment of purchasing something it’d seem. A few ponies brought some bits along with them when they came to the stable and a small little economy has since been formed where the whole of the bits exist in this small closed loop system. Personally I saw no real use for the bits, but the little gold coins may have a worth in electronics rather than currency, but that was something I had no say in, and the world where it would have mattered is long gone.

Stories do spread about the outside. We all know what happened, although what became of the world outside is often debated and contested. Some say the world was leveled flat and nothing remained but a massive nuclear desert, some say it was all a hoax to trap us in here, others claim that there’s nothing at all, and leaving the stable would simply be falling forever into the void. Now, some of these stories have more merit than others, but the truth is still often contested regardless. We can all share one sentiment however, nopony wants to step outside these walls, and I am no different. My little hole in the wall is the only world I need and nothing will keep me from it.

After a few hours of working, if it could be considered as such, I picked up the books I was reading and placed them back where they belonged. I made my way from the little book closest to the front, where father was counting the bits in the register and tapping his hoof on the counter beside it. “I’m gonna take lunch, cya in a half hour.” I waved a hoof at him and he looked up at me and smiled, letting me know it was okay.

Trotting along to the stable cafeteria to get myself something to eat I come across a few fillies running along and cracking jokes with one another. The ponies of the stable seem lively all the time, and with nothing better to do but play games and eat, I’m not surprised. The hay chips are as bland as I remember them to be however, washed down with recycled water and the slightest taste of iron. “Engineering really needs to get those pipes cleaned.” I mutter, eating because I need it not because I want it. You get quite tired of something after you eat it for several years straight.

“I don’t think it’s fully their fault.” Another mare muttered as she sat down beside me with her own plate of chips. The smaller cream colored unicorn could come off as a filly with her height, which is often offputting when you don’t know who it is, but this mare I knew well. Her name was Vellum and she was often a customer at our little bookstore. Albeit she never had the bits to buy anything so I picked out a book for her to read and let her borrow them. Her dark copper hair rolled in front of her eye and she absentmindedly brushed it aside with her magic. I noticed the slight darkening of a spot on her face that was previously covered up that wasn’t just a brown spot that her coat had in it.

“I wouldn’t know anypony else it would be, maybe your sister would know?” I glanced down a little at the little pony roughly my age, trying not to pay much mind to the bruise and gave her a smile. I let her have half of my hay chips, I never was fond of them. I put my hoof up to her face and gently brushed the bruise, not being able to completely forget about it. She moved her face back some but didn’t try to run from me. “You should take better care of yourself.” I knew about her home life because of the little chats we had, her sister also came into the bookstore with Vellum sometimes, but I tried not to make it super obvious when I spoke to her. She didn't need her only friend talking about the things she didn’t like also.

“You know it’s not my fault.” She brushed my hoof away with hers and gave a pouty face. She turned and started eating her food, leaving my question about her sister and parents unanswered. I took her silence as her needing a moment to think so I went back to my food myself. After finishing up I got up and dropped my tray off at the little cafeteria front where the food was served and whatnot and then sat back down beside Vellum. “You should stop by later. I just got in two new books from Copper Script, I know you like her work.”

Her ears perked up at the name Copper Script and she stopped eating to ask “Did you read them? Did you like them a lot?” She spoke quickly and with interest, her eyes waiting eagerly for my response.

“Yeah, I read them. They were lovely, especially the one about the little filly who escaped from the stable and her parents and made a little paradise for herself. It kinda makes me think about a certain other pony I know, what without the crazy gunfights and loss and the crazy wasteland full of evil things and stuff.” I kept talking about the stories I had read and Vellum sat silently and listened, a smile on her face, happy to hear the stories recanted. “I should read them sometime, yeah, I’ll come over later.” She gave me a smile and I gave one back. It was almost time to get back to work so I let her know I had some things to go organize and clean up and that I would see her later. “Yeah, cya later. I’m looking forward to those books.” I gave her a wave and made my way back to work, not thinking too much on her bruise still, but happy that I made her smile for at least a little while.

A white mare with black and red hair was standing in the corner of the bookstore looking at books when I came back in. I would normally just scoot past and let whoever was in the front do their own thing but this was yet another mare I happened to know. “Good morning Kilo. Are you looking for your sister mayhaps?” I made my way up to her and she turned to look at me. She was a lot more happy go lucky than her sister and was quite the mare in engineering. “Lift anything too heavy today?” I followed up as I stopped beside her to see what she was looking at.

“Never too heavy.” She responded as she continued absentmindedly shuffling through the books. I picked up one of the books beside the one she was looking down at and noticed the author. Copper Script makes another appearance.

“Saw your sister in the cafeteria, was talking about these books actually.” I spoke into the book, brushing through the pages even though I had read them already.

“Yeah, she does seem to like them quite a lot. She always remembers all the little details when we talk about it. Almost like she watched the author write it.” She was also talking into the book, but actually reading the words.

An idea came to my head while we read. “Hey, you should take these to her. She wanted to come in but I suppose it would make it easier if you took them to her, yeah?” She looked over at me and I her.

“Yeah, that does sound like a good idea.” She closed the book in her magic and I passed her the one I was holding.

I made my way up to the counter and stood beside my father. “You can take lunch, I’ll cover the front.” He nodded and went off to lunch himself. Kilo placed the books down on the counter. “Give me a second. I have another one I want to give her.” I slipped into the back and picked up a smaller book about two sisters stopping an angry dragon from destroying their home and placed it on top of the other two books. “Don’t worry about paying for these. They’re for Vellum and she’ll love them.” I pushed the books over to Kilo.

“Thanks Frosty, I appreciate it.” She picked the books up in her magic and trotted off.

“Get those damn pipes fixed!” I yelled at her out the door. She waved her hoof in dismissal.

A few other ponies came in and wandered around, some picking up books or returning them but none of them all to social. This little library was one of the few quiet places in the stable. What with the larger plaza further towards the center of the stable and ponies always finding something to do you’d be hard pressed to find a place quieter than this. Although the apple orchard might be a close second. Sitting behind the counter and reading a few books on random odds and sods passed the time enough for father to return from his lunch break. He took my place at the front and I slipped back into the back, found a book, and sat back down. This routine was normal for me and at this point it would be weird to not do this everyday.

Work ended for myself a few hours later, although what time I get off mostly depended on when father said I should, which was usually midday. Making my way back to my room, which was on the other side of the stable, I bumped into some of the ponies working in engineering. They had coveralls on, which were stained with oil and other brown or black debris that I didn’t care to inquire about. Kilo was mixed in the crowd and I gave her a wave. There was a small group of ponies working in engineering that I was friendly with, mostly Kilo and her family, who also worked there. They had a form of game night in the engineering department on weekend nights where they would play games and gamble with what bits did get shuffled around in the stable and I often attended, as one of the few social functions I was fond of. Supposedly I was hard to read and had quite the poker face, which made me quite the gambler, although I never wanted any money, just something to do with my weekends.

Vellum and some other ponies working in the janitorial sector were also passing by, using their hooves or magic to shuffle around brooms and mops, swabbing the floors and keeping our stable nice and pretty, or at least as nice and pretty as you could make steel walls and accompanying flooring. Upon reaching my bedroom I set my bag, which I had filled with books, down beside my desk and took off the small apron I wear for work. Laying down on my own bed was always the best part of the end of the day. You could almost consider me lethargic with how much I slept during the days and nights. I unfortunately only had a short few hours to sleep before I had to get up. Engineering was playing cards for game night tonight and I wasn’t going to miss it for the world. I was going to use the money to buy new Copper Script books for the store which would make my dad happy.

~|oooOOOooo|~

Sounds of fighting woke me from my sleep. My father was yelling something about how she wasn’t going to grow up alone and that this wasn’t what they had planned. I slipped out of my bed and pushed the door open just a crack with my magic and looked into the small room in the stable. “I have to go and you’re going to have to deal with it!” My mother yelled in my father’s face. “You should have taken better care of me and not that other mare!” My father repulsed at the statement, clearly hurt. “Yeah! You didn’t think I didn’t know!? It’s a small stable, and word gets around quick!” She kicked out and hit him in the front left leg and he dropped, sitting forward at an angle.

“What other mare! I don’t understand what you’re talking about!” He yelled back, a tear rolling down his cheek. He got up and raised his hoof trying to reach out to her but glanced over at the bedroom door and saw me standing in the doorway, tears rolling down my face.

“How could you do this to our little filly, our little Frost, she doesn’t deserve this!” He said as he dropped his hoof and walked over to me and got down to my height. “Please go to bed darling, we’ll figure this out okay. Don’t cry okay, it’s going to be okay.” He slowly closed the door and I slipped back into the dark of my room, tears still rolling down my cheeks. I slowly slipped my sheets back and layed myself back down. Crying to myself I eventually fell asleep.

~|oooOOOooo|~

My eyes opened, wet with tears. There was a spot on my pillow from where I was crying and I looked into it for some time, replaying the memory in my head over and over. “Where’d you go, Mom?” I spoke quietly into my pillow. I looked over to my side to see the clock, still an hour before I needed to be anywhere. I looked back down at the pillow, my brain telling my body not to go anywhere. I feel into and out of sleep for the next half an hour before another pony knocked on my door. I didn’t open it, or even move from my spot in bed. Magic slowly slipped open the door and an older mare came in and sat beside my bed.

I looked over to her, tears still in my eyes, to see Cali, Kilo’s mother, sitting down. “Are you alright darling? I heard you crying from the other room, is something the matter?” She paused for a moment. “That dream again?” She asked into my teary eyes. I did nothing but slightly nod my head, consequently sinking it further into the pillow. She put her hoof on my side, comforting me with a slow side to side motion. Kilo’s mom became something of a surrogate mother to me, taking care of me often times when my father couldn’t because of where our birthings were and simply because he often didn’t know how to help me, especially when it came to my mother. “It’ll be alright, it’s just a bad dream okay.” She continued that slight rub, which had always been comforting. “You should cheer up. Come on down and play some cards with us tonight, you can come a little early with me, okay?”

I looked over at her and she gave a reassuring smile. “Okay. I’ll go.” I had planned to go but my event had shifted my will some, but I couldn’t say no to her, so I got up and slowly got ready.

I slowly got back into my stable uniform, which was one of many I had in my closet. I took a long moment to look into the mirror, unsure about whether I really needed to get up and go, but I made a promise so it was only reasonable that I would. “You’ll enjoy yourself, just go.” I murmured to myself and my reflection gave a sheepish smile back at me, just as unsure as I was. I turned from the mirror before I convinced myself to give up and go back to sleep. Kilo’s mother was standing in the door, leaning against it and waiting for me to be ready. I pulled some bits out of my end table drawer and put them in a pocket, walking out the door and following behind Kilo’s mother. It didn’t take long to get to the engineering section where the game was being played. Although, given that this place is so small, saying something was a short trot away applied to just about everywhere. Some new pipes had just been laid I’d noticed, and beside some of them sat a table and some chairs where ponies were playing cards already. A mint green stallion was sitting closest to the door into the space and ushered us over. We both sat down and not much longer another stallion, this one white and also Kilo’s father, came to sit beside us. The table only had a few more open chairs and we had began dealing out hands and talking about the going ons of the stable, mostly engineering sector though.

The rounds went by as the ponies beside me finished filling in and putting in their bets. Slowly the amount of bits being passed around the table was easily enough to buy anything in the stable and the pressure was on. Nopony was particularly concerned however and everypony's faces were alight with smiles and jokes. A zebra mask was passed over to a pony in engineering and what followed was a slew of ponies laughing and teasing. "Crescent Wrench is the Zebra again!" Supposedly it was an Engineering custom for the pony to lose all their bits first to wear the mask. I hadn't been one of those ponies yet and I pondered if it was even possible for a non-engineering pony to receive the mask. After a few rounds of silence and loses on my end I began to pipe up, the bright mood and happy faces brought my mood up also.

“Did anyone hear about Copper Script’s new books? She put out a couple and we just got them in the bookstore. They’re almost sold out already.” I hadn’t much to talk about but the books so I threw it out there and hoped someone would bite.

“Yeah actually, Kilo dropped by and picked up some today right? I saw them at home on her desk today.” Hecta, Kilo’s father, noticed my statement had gone unnoticed and gave me a response.

“She certainly did.” I confirmed his suspicions. “I already read through them and they were really exciting. I was glued to every page.” I started trailing off as I began listening to the other conversations going around the table. I wondered to myself if I’d ever meet this elusive Copper Script.

“Ever get power to Room 15?” The minty stallion who ushered us in who everypony just called Pressure shot a questioning glance at Kilo, who was sitting across the way.

“I’ll get the power workin’ as soon as you get the water running to room 34.” Kilo gave an eye roll and continued to banter with Pressure over the cards. Kilo had a slight but still noticeable bout of blood coming from her snout and I giggled a little seeing it. Must've been an accident in Engineering earlier today. Cali and Hecta were also conversing about the days events amongst the chatter. Cali looked up from her cards and noticed I was looking back and she gave me a smile, having noticed I was enjoying myself. I smiled back and returned to my cards, trying to pull a couple wins for the night.

It didn’t take long for everypony to either run out of bits or have family to tend to so the night wrapped up pretty quickly with Kilo and her family taking most of the winnings which was pretty standard. “Thanks for having me again tonight. I had a lot of fun and it really helped me cheer up.” I gave my thanks to the ponies at the table.

“Don’t be afraid to come back and lose some more bits.” Pressure jested towards me with a laugh.

“I will, thanks.” Kilo and family saw me out of engineering, since I never knew how to get around, and Cali walked me to my room.

“Thanks for coming along with us, I knew it would cheer you up.” Cali took my hoof in hers. “Don’t worry about that dream, alright? It’s all in the past and you have plenty of ponies who care for you, okay?” She looked into my eyes until I gave a response.

“Yeah, thanks. I appreciate everything you do for me, even if I don’t say it all the time.” I gave a little smile and with that Cali left me to my own devices.

I slowly made my way up and out of my stable uniform, putting my things away and preparing for bed. I found myself standing in front of the mirror looking at the light blue skin and white hair I called my own. It never felt like mine but I lived in it every day and that was enough for me. I crawled into my cot and shut my eyes. The sounds of creaking and the humming of engines put me to sleep just like it did every night.