The Ultimate Weapon

by LitMatchStick

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rarity, Starlight Glimmer, Trixie, Random, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 1936

Starlight decides the day shouldn't start off so normally.

Starlight gets so preoccupied with whether or not she could, that she didn't stop to think if she should.

Published 2019-11-19 03:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-11-19 03:00:01 UTC

"I have A R M E D the tentacle"

"Thanks again for helping me make these PB&J sandwiches, Rarity. I'm sure Starlight and... her friend will appreciate it."

"Oh Twilight, the thanks are all mine," the unicorn said, "Especially after you three helped me take care of those cursed clothes. Who would've known they'd be so enthralled by Trixie's antics?" The alicorn's eye twitched.

They continued down the winding halls of the castle until they reached a particularly large set of double doors. Levitating the tray of sandwiches off her back, Twilight proceeded to knock.

"Starlight, we made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches," the alicorn said. She didn't hear a response, so she tried knocking again. "Hey girls, there's food." Again, nothing.

Twilight placed an ear against the door. "You guys in there?"

Rarity looked over her friend's shoulder and asked, "What do you hear?"

"A weird, pulsing, buzzing noise and... an occasional whack."

The unicorn stepped back and looked up at the ceiling while holding her chin, all the while muttering the word 'buzzing'. Her eyes widened, and a light blush spread across her face. "M-maybe we should offer these later?"

Twilight stared back at her friend with a raised eyebrow. "But then the bread will get all soggy. They're probably so concentrated on their work that they can't hear me."

"Concentrated is one way of putting it— Twilight, no!"

Much to her friend's dismay, the alicorn began putting her weight on the doors, slowly pushing them apart. "Hey girls, we made sandwiches for you—"

Rarity rushed forward so she could try to pull the clueless mare back, but ended up tripping on her own embarrassment, and hooves. Together, they fell through the door, with the unicorn rolling past her friend. She only stopped when a pale blue aura surrounded her and lifted her up.

"Whoa there, Rarity," Starlight said, levitating the unicorn over to her. "Don't want another pony getting wounded."

The floating mare shook her head and sheepishly smiled at the two ladies before her. "Why, good morning Starlight, Trixie. So, it would seem that you two are not in the middle of... eh... something important."

"The Great and Powerful Trixie's inaction should not be confused for idleness," Trixie said, watching the mare being set down beside her. "We are very much in the middle of something and it is very important." Rarity scanned them from horn to hoof, but couldn't find the slightest thing to tell her what they were doing.

Seeing the look on her face, the blue aura returned, this time, solely on her chin. Starlight then manually turned her head towards the source of the buzzing.

"You know, you could've just told me where to— Sweet Celestia what is that thing!?"

Twilight approached from her side, carrying the miraculously unscathed PB&J sandwiches. "Is something wrong Rarity?" she said, gently rubbing a bruise on the side of her forehead, "You seemed really upset that I was just checking in."

Just as her friend did to her, Rarity made Twilight look the same way. "W-what are you doing? Is everything al— Whaaat is that thing?"

"That..." Starlight said, adding a pause for dramatic effect, "...is a knife-wielding tentacle."

Across the room, surrounded by a wasteland of shredded paper and black soot, atop a lowly wooden stool, was a small wooden box. The box was marked with cyan swirls on its surface and a single pink tentacle attached on top. There was one tiny dagger in its grip and was madly flailing about, threatening those who dare approach with the promise of a thousand cuts.

The two newcomers stared at the raging appendage for several seconds before they both gave the other two unicorns a 'what even' look.

"So, remember when I said I needed Trixie's help with making something?" Starlight said. "Yeah, it was this thing."

"Trixie considers it a success," the magician added. Her friend hummed in agreement. The looks they were getting said otherwise.

"But... why though?" Twilight asked. "And why is there soot everywhere?"

"I wanted to see if we could make it, and then we tried to turn it off." There was another moment of pause to process that statement.

Twilight set the tray of sandwiches down on another table, sitting on her haunches and holding her head with her hooves. "Okay, okay, just... okay," Twilight said, eyes closed. When she opened them again, the two partners in crime were happily munching away on some PB&J. "Both of you are going to clean this up..."

"That’s understandable," Starlight said through a mouth full of food.

"...and you are both going to pay for all the damaged and destroyed books lying around that... thing." Her once student nearly choked, pounding her chest as she struggled to handle both her punishment and the sandwich.

After magicking a glass of milk and chugging it down, the pink unicorn panted a few breaths, wiping her mouth with the side of her foreleg. "What!? I don't have that kind of money," she exclaimed before burping. "Sweet Celestia, excuse me."

"Neither does Trixie! I may be a talented magician, but Trixie doesn't exactly have a lot of bits lying around," Trixie added.

"Figure it out later. Right now, I want that weapon turned off and dismantled." The two unicorns briefly glanced at each other and snickered.

"Yeah, no, good luck with that." Starlight levitated her sandwich close to her mouth, another bite imminent. "We tried, and almost blew up part of the castle."

"You're very welcome to try it yourself," Trixie said. "The switch is on its back"

Twilight groaned and took a step forward. "Fine. If you guys are so afraid to turn it off..." Her horn lit up and the box was surrounded in her pinkish aura.

Before she could feel around for the switch, the glow of her horn detached itself from her head and flew over to the box. The two auras coalesced into a slightly bigger cloud of magic, where it was then sucked into the cyan swirls, making the markings glow a brighter blue. Once all the magic was drained, the tentacle began flailing around twice as fast.

"Wha—It just absorbed my magic!" Twilight said.

"We don't know why it does that," Starlight said, "What we do know is that it has a limit. Though, I wouldn't recommend finding it out for yourself, because... well..." She gestured to the black soot and the alicorn rolled her eyes.

"What exactly did you guys use to make this thing?"

Holding out her foreleg, Starlight counted off the same hoof as she listed each item. "A red squid vine, a shrunken dagger, that piece of driftwood you had lying around, some springs, the soul of an angry sea urchin—"

"Wait... driftwood?"

"Yeah, there was this freaky, glowing piece of wood on the table, and we needed something to make the box out of. Why? Was it important?"

Twilight facehoofed and released an exasperated sigh. "That's the magic-absorbing arcana wood I asked Zecora for. I was supposed to conduct experiments on it."

"...Oh."

"Well why'd you leave it out?" Trixie asked. "You should've hid it, or at least put your name on it."

Having finished her sandwich long after she got tired of being surprised and was now feeling like she could be spending her time better, Rarity spoke up. "If none of you are able to shut that crude thing down, then I'll do it myself."

She began walking towards the tentacle when she felt a tug of magic holding her back. Turning her head back, she said the familiar blue aura grabbing the tip of her coiling tail.

"Wouldn't get too close if I were you," Starlight said. She held up the bottom of her hooves, revealing the dried and bandaged cuts on them.

"Starlight, darling."

"But—"

"Eh! No! Trying to solve the issue, dear."

The pink unicorn looked at the other unicorns in the room. One slowly shook her head with utmost disapproval while the other casually shrugged. Sighing, the glow of her horn died down, saying, "Alright, I warned you."

"Starlight!"

"I warned her, though!"

"She did warn her."

Stepping forth, right where the soot starts, the unicorn pulled a pincushion from seemingly out of nowhere. She drew a single pin from its depths, and hovered it vertically, in front of her nose. "I came here for some quality downtime with friends, and, by Celestia, I will have it!"

Rarity leaped forward, soaring over the wild widget and landing behind it. As if reacting to the hostile presence, the tentacle stabbed at her, making sure to aim directly for the unicorn's precious locks. Expecting retaliation, she parried the blade with her pin, and made a move to flip the switch off.

Unfortunately, when she blocked the tiny dagger, the clash of stainless steel caused bits of her magic to seep into the box. Where the unicorn's lunge would've surely secured the win, she was, instead, forced to ward off another attack from the tentacle as it was able to recover quicker than expected.

Hopping back a safe distance, Rarity growled as she pulled another pin from her collection. She levitated them in front of her nose again, this time in an X pattern. "Don't think I've given up yet!" she said before lunging back in, "En garde you limp-limbed contraption!"

The back and forth between the unicorn and the tentacle carried on for several more minutes, with no clear victor in sight. It got to the point where Rarity had to wield a total of eight pins just to keep up with her opponent's ever-increasing speed.

Just as the unicorn extended her magic's reach for yet another pin, the tentacle leaped from its stool and whacked the floating arsenal away with the butt of its dagger. She yelped in surprise as all of her weapons fell to the ground, the magic used to hold them having been absorbed. Now pushed back into a corner and tired from the constant clashing, Rarity could only look in terror as the whirling dervish of an appendage hopped closer and closer.

Then, all at once, her expression changed from terror, panic, concern, and finally, confusion, when Spike picked up the box with one claw.

The tentacle made numerous swings at the juvenile dragon, but each time the dagger hit, it merely bounced off in a tiny splash of sparks. Unfazed in the slightest, he wreathed the device in spell fire, and watched his flames dance out of an open window. He then took a bite of the last PB&J, looking very proud of himself.

"Wha— bu— you— Spike!?" Rarity said, "Where did you come from? And how are you not hurt?"

"I wanted to see what everypony was watching in here," he said, pointing a thumb back at the trio. Trixie was sitting upside down on the only couch in the room, while the other two had opted to sit on the floor. The two guilty unicorns waved back. "Also, dragon scales." Spike held out his free claw, and admired it.

Twilight stood up and approached the dragon, not looking happy in the slightest. "Spike, what did you do with the tentacle!?" she said.

"You guys said you wanted to get rid of it, so I got rid of it." He shrugged and took another bite. "Mmm, that's some good PB&J."

"Luna! Luna, help!"

"I hear thine wails, sister! What troubles thou— SWEET SISTER OF MINE, WHATEVER IS THAT THING!?"

"I don't know Luna, but call the guards! Call the elements! Call anypony! HELP!"

Author's Note