Trixie's Commentary

by Universal Librarian

Rating: mature
Tags: Porn, Trixie, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Sex, Profanity, Random
Length: 2866

Trixie reads through Twilight's secret smut library.

Having found Princess Twilight's trove of hoof-written smutfics, Trixie decides to read through as many of them as she can stomach, to see just how good or bad they are.

And how cruel she should make her inevitable revenge.

Published 2019-11-18 12:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-11-27 07:10:00 UTC

Tales of Trixie Vol 1: How to F**k a Fraud

Author's Note

Here we are! The long-awaited (not really) sequel to Trixie's Infiltration!

May put any particular kinks or warnings in the A/N of each chapter, unless people would rather be surprised?

Either way, enjoy!

Tales of Trixie Vol 1: How to F**k a Fraud

The door to Twilight’s study was slammed open as Trixie stomped back inside. She had reconsidered her plan to hide a cheese-filled party cannon in Twilight’s bed, though only because it wouldn’t have taken long for the princess to discover the culprit. Instead, Trixie had opted for a more creative variety of revenge, the details of which she would figure out over the next few nights before the Princess Summit concluded.

The problem of what to do with the cannon loaded with cheese had been easily resolved by stuffing it into Starlight’s bed instead.

With that out of the way, Trixie had decided to give Twilight’s porn another read to see if it got any worse. Or, at least, to make another attempt to read it. If she was honest with herself, there was every chance that Trixie was going to lose her temper and start replacing party cannons with fireworks and assorted high explosives.

Stomping back up to the desk, Trixie saw that the first volume of the Tales of Trixie was still sat where she’d left it. Parking herself behind the desk, she took a deep breath to calm herself, and opened it up once again.

The basement echoes as I, Twilight Sparkle, mighty unicorn wizard, stride purposefully down the stairs, levitating a large box in my magic. I have dismissed Spike for the night, allowing him to read his comics upstairs in peace, for neither his skills nor his tender age are suitable for what is about to occur.

As I reach the bottom of the stairs, I glare imperiously at the terrible fraudster who is manacled to the wall. The evil unicorn raises her head. Her defiant expression would be intimidating if her ridiculous hat didn’t flap around so much. “How dare you incarcerate the Great and Powerful Trrrixie!” she cries, putting an obscenely overstated trill on the r in her name.

“… I forgot about that bit. Bitch.”

I slowly arch my eyebrow, my expression turning contemptuous as I imitate the snobby Canterlot nobles I saw so often before I came to Ponyville, “I see that the previous lesson in humility I gave you still hasn’t quite taken yet. No matter, I’ll just have to give you some more rigorous instruction this time around.”

I concentrate for a moment, and there comes a flash of magic as Trixie is teleported into the middle of the room, her restraints coming with her and securing themselves to the floor. She tries to raise herself up, but the manacles keep her forelegs held securely down, keeping her head against the floor while her backside sticks up in the air. She glares indignantly up at me, “The Great and Powerful Triximph!”

“You talk too much.” The evil little cheat is silenced as I snap her mouth shut using my magic. The crack of another teleportation spell fills the air, then Trixie’s eyes bulge as she sees what I am holding in my aura. It’s big, it’s thick, it’s purple, and it has some very interesting bumps and nubs all over its shaft. I can’t help but smirk at my captive’s expression, “Yes, it is quite unique, isn’t it. I enchanted it myself. Y’know, because I’m actually good at real magic.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m still going to get you back for that one.”

Trixie’s lip quivered, both at the words I threw at her and the terrible realization of what exactly was about to happen down in this basement.

“Oh, that’s right, you’re about to get exactly what you deserve,” I tell her as I casually stroll around her. Her whole body starts to tremble as I move out of her line of sight. Positioning myself directly behind her, I slowly and deliberately don the strap-on. There’s a loud snap as I pull the belt tight, causing my captive to flinch quite satisfyingly.

Trixie flinches again as I lay a hoof on her rump, “There, there, I’m not a complete monster. I’ll give you a way to get out of this at any time, if you’d like. Does that sound fair?”

“Hmph, the Great and Powerful Trixie doesn’t need your pity!” Trixie snapped. “Do your worst, Sparkle!”

Oh? A spark of defiance? It seems this mare isn’t entirely a bag of hot air. Good. “Alright, have it your way.” Trixie’s trembling increases exponentially as I rear up and mount her, settling a hoof on her shoulder and placing the other on her rump to hold my weight.

Trixie paused and took a deep breath to pre-emptively calm herself, remembering full well the atrocity that was about to be committed against her catchphrase. Once she was suitably prepared; in other words, as soon as she was fairly certain that she could get through the next part without setting fire to something, Trixie read on.

Once I’ve got the strap-on nicely lined up, I use my magic to activate the auto-lubrication and lean forward to whisper in her ear, “If you do decide you can’t handle your punishment, here’s what you have to say. Twilight is better than me. Twilight is stronger than me. The Great and Powerful-”

“Skank.”

“-Twilight is the most amazing.” Trixie hisses as I press against her entrance with the strap-on. “Incredible.” The hiss becomes a moan as the shaft pushes into her. “Fantastic unicorn I know.” Her breath hitches as our hips connect, the full length of the toy buried deep inside her. “Well? Are you going to give in?”

Trixie glares over her shoulder at me. I can’t help my own grin as I see the blush blazing across her muzzle. “Never!” she spits.

Her determination stokes a fire in my core. “Have it your way.” I give her ear a quick nip and pull back slowly, dipping my hips so each and every bump of the shaft pings against her hood as I draw it out of her, then I raise myself back up and drive it back into her in one smooth motion. Trixie grits her teeth, but I can still hear the amorous moans she’s desperately trying to stifle as I repeat the process.

I swiftly settle myself into a rhythm, angling the strap-on and dragging it out slowly before straightening up and thrusting it home, Trixie’s rump bouncing and her breath hitching every time our hips collide. It’s not long before, to my immense delight, my captive’s stoicism starts to crumble, the hapless mare clenching her thighs as I pull out then pushing back to meet each thrust.

“…okay, I’ll admit, that is kinda hot.”

The sensation of the little deviant giving in to her own pleasure flips a switch in my mind. Unable to resist, I lean forward to whisper in her ear, “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were enjoying this.”

“Nnnff, you wish,” Trixie retorts, though her vain attempt at defying me is undermined by the passionate moan she elicits as I thrust with a little more force.

“Oh, it’s nothing to be ashamed of,” I assure her mockingly. “After all, you are being mounted by, what was it you said? The most magical unicorn in Equestria?” I feel Trixie start to shudder as I throw her own words back at her, and for a moment I fear I might have pushed her a little too far, but the reason for her shaking quickly becomes clear as her whole body tenses and she lets out a drawn-out cry of ecstasy.

I feel a rush of excited glee as Trixie slowly comes down from her climax, her muscles relaxing and her whole body slumping. It’s probably only the fact that the strap-on is still buried inside her that’s preventing her from collapsing to the ground.

“Th-there, you’ve had your f-fun,” Trixie huffs between deep breaths, her muzzle blazing a bright and vibrant red. “Now let me go.”

I arch an eyebrow slowly and use my magic to pull a loose strand of hair away from her sweat-stained forehead. “We’re not done yet.” I send a burst of magic into the strap-on, and both of us twitch in unison as it starts to vibrate; the shaft for her and a small button on the underside for me. Trixie’s eyes widen as I lean forward once more, my own breathing quickening from the pulse the little button is beating on my clitoris. “No, Trixie. My fun is only… just… beginning.”

Trixie practically jumped out of her skin as she heard a door slam somewhere in the castle. She looked around wildly for a second, before her brain finally clicked into gear and she realized that it was simply the sound of Spike leaving for Sweet Apple Acres again.

Taking several heaving breaths to try and calm her thundering heart, Trixie glared down at the book as it if were personally responsible for her alarm, then slammed it shut and used her magic to place it back in the hidden bookshelf.

“Hm, not bad, Twilight. Trixie would say that it’s a passable attempt, I suppose.”

Trixie sat in silence for a few moments, then huffed angrily and trotted over to the door, locked every single bolt and chain on there, then hurried back to the desk, shrugging her cloak off to stop it from getting dirty while at the same time using her magic to snatch the book back again.

“Fine! I’ll keep reading! But this does not mean I’m letting you get away with writing porn about me, Princess!”

Opening the book back up, Trixie bit her lip as she used her magic to turn the pages, her fore-hoof suddenly finding itself busy elsewhere.

Tales of Trixie Volume 2: Waking A Dragon

Author's Note

Welcome to our second volume of: the Tales of Trixie!

This chapter is more of a comedy piece involving one small mare and one massive cock.

A more detailed version of a similar scenario may come up in a later chapter...

Tales of Trixie Volume 2: Waking A Dragon

Trixie let out a sigh as she closed the first volume. It had started out terrible and offensive but, loathe as she was to admit it, the sexy times themselves had actually been more than a little stimulating.

Still, she wasn’t about to let Twilight off the hook just yet.

Picking the book up in her magic, Trixie tottered over to the hidden bookcase and slotted the volume back where it belonged before pulling out the second in the series. “Waking a Dragon? That sounds… ominous. I swear, if I get incinerated or impaled on a cock that’s twenty times my size in this book, I’m burning this whole fucking castle to the ground.”

Resuming her place at the desk, Trixie opened up the book and took a deep breath, mentally preparing herself for the depravity ahead.

The mountain towers high above us as I, Twilight Sparkle, lead my captive to her newest punishment.

“You enjoy introducing yourself in writing don’t you, Twilight Sparkle?

… not that Trixie can really say anything.”

“Where exactly do you think you are taking the Great and Powerful Trixie?”

I look back at Trixie, trailing along behind me. She’s still wearing her usual ridiculous hat and cape, but the thick leather collar she’s wearing, complete with attached leash, is a new addition. I give it a quick yank just to remind her who is in charge here. “I’ll take you wherever, and whenever, I please.”

Trixie blushes, both at the double entendre and the reminder of her previous 'punishment'. Satisfied that she knows her place, I turn back to the mountain. "If you must know, I'm taking you to see a dragon."

"What?!" Trixie tries to pull away from me, panic written clear on her face.

"Yes, a dragon." A powerful tug on the leash brings her back to heel. "This is the dragon that's been causing problems for Ponyville with his snoring. Fluttershy managed to convince him to leave, but first, I offered your services as an apology for Rainbow Dash kicking him in the face."

"My…" Trixie gulps, "...services?"

"Yes!" I say brightly. "You'll be putting your body to use in helping the dragon relieve himself!"

"Bullshit!" Trixie yells and tries to pull away again.

I try dragging her again, but she's pulling too strenuously. If she keeps struggling she's going to end up making us late, so, with an irritated sigh, I use my magic to simply lift her off the floor and levitate her alongside me.

"Hey! Let me go! The Great and Powerful Trixie demands that you put her down!"

Ignoring Trixie's protests is surprisingly easy as I pull her along. All I have to do is hum a little tune while imagining all of the punishment she's going to receive later, and her annoying whining fades to mere background noise.

"…That's a little harsh."

The trip up the mountain is just as strenuous as it was earlier, but at least I don't have my friends arguing the whole way this time around. Soon enough, I'm once again standing outside the dragon's cave.

Trixie attempts to struggle when she sees the cave opening, but it's a pointless endeavor against my magic. "Just give it up, Trixie." Trotting into the cave, I call out to the occupant, "Good afternoon! Are you still in here?"

"I'm here," the dragon replies.

"Good!" I say brightly. "I've brought a little relief for you, as promised."

The floor rumbles and metal clinks as the dragon shifts atop his hoard and looks down at us. He is truly a magnificent specimen; a colossal beast of scale and claw, whose vast muscles ripple with each movement.

"You're kidding, right? If he's that big then how in Tartarus am I supposed to diddle him? His dick is probably bigger than I am!"

The dragon eyes Trixie critically. "This is the one you say I can play with?"

Trixie balks at the sight of the dragon. "You're kidding, right? How in Tartarus is Trixie meant to diddle this guy?! His dick is probably bigger than Trixie!"

Trixie paused and huffed at the book, not sure whether she should be impressed or annoyed that Twilight had apparently gotten her characterisation right.

I roll my eyes and glare back at the annoying mare. "Use your imagination, Trixie. There's more ways to pleasure a creature than just humping them."

"If that's the case, then why don't you do it?!" Trixie hisses.

"Because I'm not the one who needs to make amends." I use my magic to dump her unceremoniously in front of the dragon and take a few steps back to get out of the way. "Here you go, sir. She's all yours."

The dragon hums and looks down at Trixie, examining her with a critical eye. "Hmmm. She's not my usual type, but she'll get the job done." He shifts himself around until he's leaning backwards, displaying his pride to the two of us.

"Pfft, his pride?!"

His penis is indeed bigger than Trixie, much bigger; a quivering tower of bright pink flesh twice her length and almost half again her width.

"...urge to burn the castle down, rising."

Trixie shrinks back at the sight of it, and even I feel slightly intimidated by the sheer mass of it. "I… how am I supposed to do this? It's way too big!"

The dragon smirks at her. "Yeah, I'm huge."

My annoying little slave is still wavering, so I give her a nudge with my magic. "Go on, use your imagination."

Trixie throws me a scorching glare. "You use your imagination. Even if Trixie uses her entire body it won't be enough to get something that big off!"

Her insolent whining gives me an idea. I ignite my horn and grab the annoying twit in my magic once again, then use it to press her bodily against the dragon's member.

"...what?"

With Trixie too stunned to protest, I use my magic to rub her body up and down the length of-

Trixie blinked dumbly as she stared down at the book. She reread the line a few different times, then closed the book and opened it again, making sure that she was reading it correctly.

"I use my magic to rub her b-" Trixie snapped the book closed then ripped it back open. "I use my magic to rub her body up and down the- what the fuck, Sparkle?!"

Trixie huffed and slammed the book shut. "For fuck's sake, if that's your fetish, at least write it well! Some oil or lube on there would make it much more… uh… hm… crap…" Trixie blushed furiously and slapped a hoof to her face. "Damn it, Twilight, stop opening weird doors in my mind." Glancing over to make sure that the door was still locked, she opened the book back up and flicked through until she found her spot. "I use my magic to-"

Tales of Trixie Volume 3: Truth or Dare

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