I'm Begging of You, Please Don't Take My Man
The sun beat down on the vast beach of Silver Shoals, the preferred retirement destination for those who enjoyed a year-round warmer clime. The waves lapped lazily at the sand, the surf free for the moment from visiting grand-foals and water aerobics classes. A number of large umbrellas dotted the shore for those who wished to relax, to read, or to simply rest in the blessed silence that they had earned across their years of service.
Of course, some had more years of service than others.
Many more.
Celestia, former princess of Equestria and the de-facto goddess of the sun, finished filling both glasses with lemonade and offered one to her visitor. She sighed in contentment as she leaned back on her canvas chair, her own frosty beverage held aloft in her magic.
“I see that retirement is treating you well.” Fluttershy sipped her lemonade and settled more comfortably into her own chair.
“It’s divine, Fluttershy. But it took some getting used to.” She looked over at the yellow pegasus with a wry grin. “It was weeks before my internal alarm clock stopped waking me at dawn.”
“Luna’s been writing me every now and then. She mentioned something about… postal work, I think?”
Celestia chuckled and took another gulp. “My postage obsessed little sister has declared herself the unofficial mail mare of Silver Shoals. She even somehow managed to get her hooves on a uniform. She takes great pleasure in collecting everypony’s mail as soon as it arrives at the front desk and gets it to everypony it’s supposed to get to.” She shrugged. “I don’t get it, but it’s her hobby and she enjoys it.”
“Maybe she’s bored.”
“That’s a possibility.”
“What about you?”
“What about me?”
“Well, are you… bored?” Fluttershy brought the glass to her lips, her next words almost swallowed by the sugary water. “Thinking about coming back anytime soon, maybe?”
“I hadn’t planned on it.” Celestia sat up and eyed the pegasus carefully. “Why?”
“No reason.”
Celestia raised an eyebrow. “Just like you came all the way out here to pay me a visit? No reason?”
Fluttershy nodded as she drank her lemonade, not trusting herself to say the right thing at the moment.
“Fluttershy.” The alicorn’s voice was as warm and caring as it ever was, especially when she was concerned about her little ponies. They perhaps weren’t her little ponies anymore, but that didn’t mean she had to stop caring for them. Did a mother ever stop caring for her children, even after they had grown, departed, and started families of their own? “Please tell me what’s bothering you? I’m your friend, aren’t I?”
Fluttershy finally lowered the glass to the small table and eyed Celestia evenly. “Are you my friend?” She asked, her voice tinged with suspicion.
Fluttershy’s response was so strange, so out of character for the normally demure mare, that Celestia was taken aback. “I’m confused. Have I done something to offend you?”
Realizing that she might have gone too far already, Fluttershy instantly retreated, her face vanishing with practiced ease into the curtain of pink that was her mane. “No, it’s not that. It’s just…”
“Just what?”
Fluttershy sighed. “It’s about… it’s about Discord.”
A small grin tugged at Celestia’s lips at the sound of the name. “Ah. And what has that old trickster done to raise your hackles so?”
“He… he called your name.”
“I don’t see what….”
“In his sleep.” Fluttershy pushed her face forward and looked straight into Celestia’s eyes. “He called your name in his sleep.”
“Oh. Oh.” Celestia blushed as the implication became clear. “Forgive me. I had heard from Luna that you two were an item, but I had no idea that you were already co-habitating.” She cleared her throat and made to refill her glass. “If you’re concerned about what mischief he’s up to while sleeping that surely involves pranking and tormenting me, surely my sister can aid you.”
“That’s not all.”
“No. I didn’t think so.” Celestia sighed and lowered the pitcher. “You wouldn’t have come all this way if it were just that.”
“He says your name…” Fluttershy’s voice caught. This was the whole reason she had come. This was why she’d ridden two days in a train. This was why she’d entrusted the care of her animals to Apple Bloom for a few days. This was why she had lied to Discord about an emergency outbreak of swamp flu in the south. “He says your name… and he says it like he says mine.”
Celestia sat up and looked at the Bearer of Kindness. “As your friend, I’d ask you to be plain with me. Why exactly are you here?”
“I need to know.” Fluttershy sat up straighter. “Were you and he… did you ever…?”
“My past romantic life is my business and my business alone.” Celestia tried to feel as commanding as she once had been, but the lack of regal paraphernalia ruined the illusion, even for her. “I fail to see what concern of yours it is whether I and the Draconequss were ever, ah, involved.”
Fluttershy did not wilt, did not let her gaze break from Celestia’s. “I… I just need to know…”
“But why, Fluttershy? What does it matter?” Celestia shook her head in disbelief. “Did you really come all this way just to ask me if Discord and I ever dated? What possible benefit could that knowledge have for you?”
Fluttershy’s front began to falter. Her lip trembled. “I… I found a grey hair in my mane.”
Celestia blinked. “I don’t understand…”
“No, you wouldn’t, would you? You don’t get grey hairs or wrinkles or stretch marks. You’re eternally youthful, eternally beautiful. Why would he want me when he could have you?”
“Fluttershy…”
But the door had been opened, and there was no shutting it now. “I lie there beside him, in the bed that I invited him into, in the home that I’ve offered to share with him, in a place where he can f-feel my warmth and smell my m-m-mane and hear m-m-me breathe…” It was coming in stuttering gasps now, the first vestiges of tears appearing in the corner of her eyes. “I hold his body close and I’m so h-happy, so very happy in ways I’d n-never even dreamed of, and then rolls over in his sleep and… and… and he says your name!” She pointed an accusatory hoof. “He does that and suddenly the love and happiness I’ve felt comes crashing down and it all becomes a lie. I feel dirty, because it makes me think that i-if he says your name like that, then he feels for you like he feels for me. And you were here FIRST!” She finally broke, burying her face in her forelegs. “And you… you’ll be here after.” She started sobbing then, deep and chest-wracking.
Celestia took in the outburst with a neutral expression on her face. She waited until the heaving shoulders of the pegasus had slowed to a normal cadence before carefully reaching out with her magic and refilling Fluttershy’s glass. “Drink. Please.”
Slowly, Fluttershy obeyed her former monarch, as much from habit as anything else. She drained the drink in several large swallows before shrinking back onto the chair. “I’m…”
“The answer to your question is yes. Discord and I have a history.”
Fluttershy’s shoulders slumped that much lower. “If that’s the case, then it’s clear he still has feelings for you.”
Celestia cocked her head. “Is Discord… is he your first lover, Fluttershy?”
Years ago, the deeply personal question would’ve made Fluttershy squeak and hide in embarrassment. Now, she just shook her head. “No. There’s been… several. But none like him.”
“And do you still have some kind of feeling for at least one of your past partners?”
“I… I guess so.”
“Then why is it so troubling to you that Discord would still harbor some affection for me? Are you so concerned that he would up and leave you behind to come soaring back into my arms?”
“I guess I’m scared that… that he would do that. If you asked him to, I mean.”
Celestia sighed and shook her head. “I simply don’t understand this…”
“How could I ever compete with you?” Fluttershy demanded. “You’re you! You’re tall and beautiful and funny…”
Celestia allowed herself a small smile. “I’m also an excellent chess player.”
“You’re immortal.” Fluttershy finished, grimacing at the very taste of the word.
“Ah, so we’ve come to the heart of the matter.” Celestia stood and looked out at the beach. “You believe that given the choice between the two of us, Discord would choose me because I can be by his side forever. Is that right?”
Fluttershy nodded slowly.
Celestia looked back at her former subject with as much care and understanding as she could manage. “Oh, but Fluttershy, don’t you understand? The very thing you fear would drive him away from you is what ensures he will be yours until your dying day.”
Fluttershy looked at the alicorn and raised an eyebrow. “I don’t understand.”
Celestia spread her majestic wings. “Would you fly with me?”
Fluttershy hesitated… but nodded at last. She spread her own wings, so small compared to Celestia’s, and joined the alicorn as they rose above the sandy beach and rolling waves. They flew a while together, letting the winds carry them this way and that. Before too long, the pegasus followed the alicorn’s lead and settled on a particularly fluffy cloud.
Celestia settled into the water vapor before turning her attention back to Fluttershy. “The affair between Discord and me was brief and tumultuous. There was a time before he attempted to conquer Equestria, when he was a simple visitor from another plane of reality. He called himself friend to my sister and me, though he didn’t understand the meaning of the word. I was drawn to his chaotic nature, his wildness.” She smiled wistfully as her mind was cast back to those days across the ocean of time. “He was the polar opposite of everything I was used to; rigid order, tight schedules, and other things like that. I don’t know what it was about me that he liked so much, however.” She smirked. “Perhaps it was my posterior. Tell me, is Discord still, shall we say, fond of the flank?”
Fluttershy couldn’t even muster a giggle at the joke.
Celestia cleared her throat before continuing. “We shared a bed for only two seasons.”
“And it ended because he tried to destroy you?”
Celestia snorted. “Hardly. We’d long split apart by the time the cotton candy clouds had arrived.”
This seemed to genuinely surprise Fluttershy. “But why?”
“Because we were bored with one another. His jokes and pranks failed to entertain me as they once did. Likewise, I imagine he was getting frustrated by my lack of enthusiasm with all things chaotic. We had a burning passion, Fluttershy, but passion’s flames become tempered with time. When that happens, the spark either goes out completely, or settles into a comfortable, warming heat.”
“If that’s the case, then why would he still have feelings for you?”
“Oh, we loved one another, you can be sure about that. And I’m sure there’s some small part of him that still feels that love we once had. It’s like a sweet memory or a half-remembered dream. I’m telling you, you have nothing to fear in regards to the Lord of Chaos spiriting down to Silver Shoals for a weekend rendezvous with me.” When Fluttershy’s expression remained unchanged, Celestia tried a different approach. “Look down. Tell me what you see.”
Fluttershy peered over the edge of the cloud and observed the sand far below. “It’s the beach.”
“And the waves?”
“What about them?”
“When the waves come crashing in, they break away a little bit more of the beach and carry it away…”
Fluttershy very nearly rolled her eyes. “The waves carry away the sand, but they bring in more. That’s why the beach will always be there.”
“Ah, but it won’t.” Celestia looked down herself at the ground far below. “The ocean is winning this fight. It always carries away more than it takes. It may take thousands of years, but this beach will eventually be gone. That’s why we must enjoy it while it’s here for us to enjoy.” She looked over at Fluttershy and winked. “Understand now?”
Fluttershy settled back on her haunches and looked into the blue sky. “You’re saying that the reason he loves me so much… is because he can’t love me forever?”
“Oh, but he can love you forever, dear Fluttershy. You’ll occupy a space in his heart, mind, and soul just as much as I do. Perhaps even more-so. But he can only be with you, share that love with you, for a very short time. And if he’s anything like me, then he’ll cherish every single moment. In the grand scheme of things, your time together may seem like the single tick of a clock. But for Discord?” She smiled and nuzzled the smaller pony. “The time you spend together will last for ages in his heart.”
Fluttershy smiled back. “I think… I think I understand now.”
“I’m glad. And I’m so happy that you and Discord found one another. I wish you many wonderful years together.”
“Thank you.” Fluttershy stood and stretched her wings. “I should probably head home.”
“So soon?” Celestia made no move to follow, but snuggled deeper into the cloud. “Won’t you at least stay for dinner? And tonight’s bingo night as well. I know Luna would welcome a… younger competitor. Dusty Pages takes her to school every single time.”
Flluttershy shook her head. “Thank you for the offer, but no. I really need to get home. There’s somepony wonderful waiting for me, and I’ve wasted enough time away from him as it is.”
“That’s the spirit.” Celestia and watched as Fluttershy lifted off of the cloud, gave a little wave, and glided off in the direction of the train station. She sighed as she settled into her cloudy couch for a well-deserved afternoon nap. As the sun she was no longer responsible for beamed down upon her with its comforting warmth, as the lapping waves below filled her ears with their soothing song, she drifted off to sleep. She slept…
…and she dreamed…
…and when his name slipped past her lips, the ocean air claimed it and carried it away, like a child holding tightly to some secret treasure.
