Say What?

by Dreadnought

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Princess Celestia, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy
Length: 2150

Perfect Pinkie Pie party perverted with predicatable pandemonium.

Everypony was there for the party. Nopony wanted to remember it. And yet they can't stop talking about it....

Published 2019-11-26 15:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-11-26 15:00:01 UTC

The Story

Twilight’s Castle was the scene of another fun-filled Pinkie Pie party. Off to the side, Rainbow Dash and Applejack eagerly competed at who was the best pony at bobbing for apples. Naturally, the apple farmer had taken the lead. In the center of the room, Fluttershy, Twilight and Pinkie Pie happily danced about, shaking their tales and pounding their hooves to the rhythm of the music. And at the refreshment table, Spike tried to strike up a conversation with Rarity.

“So, how’s your fashion line coming along?”

“Oh, I do so love winter.” Rarity smiled as she gazed off into the distance at only things she could see.

“Why?” asked the drake, hanging on her every word.

“Oh, darling, just think of it. Coats and cloaks and shawls and hats and boots and scarves. Why, winter is the one time of year when everypony is forced to wear clothes.” Her gaze became like steel. “And I am determined that everypony will look fabulous this winter!”

“Well, if you ever need any –” Burp! His cheeks became crimson at this faux pas in front of his crush. Instantly, a scroll formed in front of him and fell into his awaiting claws. He unrolled it and quickly scanned it.

Seeing – and hearing – the commotion, Twilight trotted over. “What is it Spike?” she asked, worry creeping into her voice.

“You’d better take a look at it,” he said, as she levitated the scroll before her. Quickly reading the letter, she rolled it up. “Come Spike, I must do some quick research and get a letter to the princess as soon as possible.” She hurried out the door with Spike close behind.

Fluttershy came over. “Oh, I hope it wasn’t bad news.”

Rarity thought for a moment. “I don’t think so. But given Twilight’s reaction, I do think it is serious.”

“I know!”

“Eep!” Fluttershy jumped back, startled by Pinkie Pie as usual.

Pinkie Pie continued unfazed, “Let’s do the piñata! That’ll get everypony’s mind off of whatever Twilight is up to.” She rushed to the other side of the room and grabbed the two ponies still bobbing for apples and dragged them into the center of the room.

Suddenly, a yak-shaped piñata lowered from the ceiling. “Fluttershy, you go first,” said Pinkie Pie.

“Me?” Seeing her smiling friend, she relented, “Oh, if you want me to.”

Within moments the pegasus had a blindfold tied around her eyes and was spun around. Wobbling slightly, Pinkie placed a bat in her hoof.

Fluttershy took an uneasy step forward, then another. She lifted the bat, and swung – into empty air. She swung again and missed the piñata.

“You can do it!” cheered Pinkie Pie.

“Yeah sugarcube, y’all can do it!” encouraged Applejack.

Fluttershy wound back, and swung. Just as she was doing so, Rainbow Dash yelled, “Bust that yak wide open!”

“Eep!” cried Fluttershy, bringing her bat to a halt, just lightly tapping the piñata.

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” groaned Rainbow Dash.

“Rainbow, I don’t think you telling her to ‘bust that yak open’ helped,” admonished Rarity.

Pulling back the blindfold, Fluttershy said, “I – I don’t think I can do this.”

“I’ll show you how it’s done!” said Pinkie Pie. She donned the blindfold and grabbed the bat. “Spin me Dash!” she commanded. The pegasus turned her around a couple of times. “More!” Rainbow Dash spun Pinkie some more. “Faster!” Rainbow spun Pinkie around and around. “You can do better than that!”

An devilish grin spread across Rainbow’s face. “Alright. But you asked for it.” She lifted off the ground, and before anypony could stop her, she flew around Pinkie Pie so fast that colors blurred and blended, and a mini tornado formed in the room. Applejack had to put a hoof on her hat to keep it from being sucked in. Rainbow veered off and hovered above. Pinkie Pie trembled and stumbled this way and that. She was so disoriented that she made Berry Punch after a hard night’s drinking look perfectly coordinated.

“Ooh – oh,” said Pinkie, still struggling to keep upright. She took her bat and began swinging, nearly falling in the process.

Rainbow Dash could only snicker at seeing her friend facing the opposite direction from the piñata.

Pinkie Pie kept swinging and staggering about.

“Do yah think we should do somethin’?” asked Applejack.

“I’m sure she will recover her senses in a few moments,” assured Rarity.

“Yeah but she’s bein’ a might dangerous with that – Pinkie! Look out!”

Pinkie Pie swung the bat. Wham! “Di-did I h-hit something?” she stuttered.

“Not something, somepony!” cried Rainbow Dash, swooping down.

Pinkie Pie removed her blindfold. On the floor lay Fluttershy, unconsioius. Rainbow Dash delicately cradled Fluttershy’s head in her hooves as the others gathered around. “Oh, I’m so sorry!” she exclaimed. “I didn’t mean to hit her.”

“What should we do?” asked Rarity.

“We need to git her to tha hospital,” responded Applejack.

“Right!” nodded Rainbow Dash. Just as she was lifting the pegasus up onto her back, she heard a moan. “Fluttershy? Fluttershy!” The pegasus slowly opened her eyes. “Fluttershy! You’re okay!”

Fluttershy groaned, “Was ist passiert? Mein Kopf tut wirklich weh.”

The four ponies gaped.

Seeing their reactions, she asked, “Was ist los?”

“Sugarcube, are you okay?” questioned Applejack.

“Ja. Ich meine, ich habe diese schrecklichen Kopfschmerzen, aber es ist in Ordnung. Ich bin mir sicher, dass es irgendwann verschwinden wird”

Rarity glanced at the others before turning to the pegasus, “Fluttershy, can you understand us?”

“Was meinst du? Natürlich kann ich dich verstehen. Warum nicht – ” Her eyes went wide and her hooves covered her mouth.

“It seems that she can understand us,” noted Rarity.

Fluttershy nodded.

“Was - was ist los?” squeeked Fluttershy as she began to slightly hyperventilate.

“Yer speaking funny,” explained Applejack.

“Germane,” corrected Rainbow Dash. The others looked at her. She shrugged, “You meet ponies from all over at Wonderbolts shows.”

“But what are we goanna do ’bout Fluttershy?”

A silence hung over the room for a moment.

Rarity’s face lit up, “I know!”

“You do?” asked Rainbow Dash.

“Of course, darling. I read about it all the time in my romance novels.”

A skeptical Applejack raised an eyebrow. “Yah read ’bout ponies actin’ funny afta getting’ walloped in the head?”

“Wow, I’m going to have to borrow your books,” remarked Pinkie Pie.

Rarity shook her head. “Well no. In the books, it’s amnesia. But it’s basically the same thing,” she said with a dismissing wave of her hoof. “They both involve trauma to the head.”

“What do we have to do?” asked Rainbow Dash.

“It’s simple. All we have to do is hit her in the head again to reverse the effects.”

“What!”
“No!”
“Y’all cain’t be serious!”
“Bitte nicht!”

Rarity levitated a bat in her aura. “I’m sorry Fluttershy, but this is for your own good.”

Rarity swung the bat as hard as she could. It came swooping down on the pegasus whose face was plastered with terror. Letting out a scream, she braced herself for the blow to come. But before it fell, Fluttershy saw a blur of orange push her out of the way and then a wail of pain.

Applejack lay upon the floor.

“Oh my,” gasped Rarity.

“What’s wrong with you!” demanded Rainbow Dash as she shook Applejack to see her friend was okay.

Applejack slowly sat up and groaned, rubbing the lump on her head. She turned to Rarity and shouted, “Je ne peux pas croire que tu aies fait ça!”

The others stared at her slack jawed.

“Applejack...?” asked Rainbow.

“Das gleiche ist dir passiert!” cried Fluttershy.

“Fluttershy, tu sais que je ne comprends pas un mot que tu dis” Seeing the others, she asked, “Que se passe-t-il? Pourquoi tu me regardes comme ça?”

“Applejack, don’t freak out – ”

“Pourquoi devrais-je paniquer?” Her eyes went wide. “Sacrebleu! Moi aussi? Oh non, je parle fantaisie!”

“Does anypony know what she just said?” asked Pinkie.

Rarity shook her head. “I’m afraid not. But I can tell you she’s speaking the language of Prance.”

Rainbow spun and growled at Rarity, “Are you happy! Now we’ve got two friends speaking foreign languages.”

Thinking for a moment, Rarity said, “There’s only one way to fix this.” She levitated the bat.

Pinkie Pie bounced up and down. “Ooh – ooh. Do me next! Do me next!”

Rainbow Dash grabbed the spare bat. Just as Rarity’s was about to hit Applejack – Bam! Rainbow Dash’s bat blocked it.

“En garde!” yelled Applejack.

Rainbow Dash and Rarity exchanged looks. “I understood that.”

Rarity nodded. “As did I.”

Rainbow and Rarity’s bats clashed again. Bam! And again. Bam!

Rarity, having taken some fencing lessons from her high-society friends in Canterlot, assumed the proper posture the art demanded.

Rainbow Dash, having taken no lessons and not caring at all about the art of the sport, merely hovered in air and wildly swung as hard as she could.

Bam!

Bam!

“Bitte hör auf euch beide!”

Bam!

“Arrête avant un autre poney – ”

Wham!

Rainbow Dash and Rarity paused as Pinkie Pie stumbled for a moment.

“You just made things worse,” said Rarity tersely.

“Me! I mean, sure that was my bat, but I’m trying to stop you!” yelled Rainbow Dash.

Pinkie Pie shook her head. “Manaʻo wau inā hiki iaʻu ke kamaʻilio pū kekahi? E kali! eia au!”

“Est-ce que tout poney sait ce qu'elle vient de dire?”

“Does any pony know what she just said?” asked Rainbow.

“C’est ce que je viens de demander!” huffed Applejack.

Donning a flowery shirt, Pinkie Pie giggled, “Pono wau e hoʻāʻo ma waho. Manaʻo wau he mea like kaʻu mau ʻōlelo. Hmm .... Chimicherry a i ʻole cherrychanga? Chimicherry a i ʻole cherrychanga? Chimicherry a i ʻole cherrychanga? Pono nā huaʻōlelo ʻo ia. Pehea ka ' paiihao '? A i ʻole 'hale'? A i ʻole 'ka poʻi'? A i ʻole 'lua pele'? A i ...”

Rarity sighed and levitated the bat. “Another pony I have to treat.” She swung the bat.

Rainbow dove in and brought her bat to block Rarity’s swing. She was a second too slow.

Wham!

Rainbow slid across the floor and into the refreshment table, sending deserts flying everywhere, which Pinkie miraculously managed to catch midair in her wide mouth. The punch bowl wasn’t so lucky, spilling it’s contents onto Rainbow Dash. She snapped back into consciousness. Turning to her friend, she shouted, “Rarity! Anata wa sonotame ni shiharau tsumoridesu. Ā tawagoto. Watashi mo! Kono Ni~Tsu wa motto waruku narudarou ka?”

Rarity didn’t seem to pay attention to Rainbow Dash’s words. Maybe it was the bang to her head, but it didn’t seem as Dash’s lips synched up with the words.

Rainbow picked up the bat and gazed towards Rarity. Applejack fell in beside her friend. Both marched toward the unicorn, fire buring in their eyes and anger ready to explode. Behind them, Fluttershy looked on in horror as Pinkie Pie continued spouting words in her new tongue.

Rarity backed away from her two furious friends. She stuttered, “Now, now, there’s no need to be angry. I – I was only trying to help. I swear I meant you n-no harm. I’m sure we can work – ”

Unbeknownst to the unicorn, she had backed into a pillar. Fortunately, the pillar didn’t fall over. Unfortunately, the flower-filled vase on top wasn’t so lucky. Wham! Rarity lay sprawled across the floor, dirt in her main and broken pieces of ceramic strewn about.

“Mā, sore wa kantandeshita”

“Oui.”

Rarity rubbed her head. “'oy' yIchev. SoH vaj cha' –. loS! nuq vIjatlhlaH?”

“Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose,” chuckled Applejack.

Rarity narrowed her eyes. “veS qej!’

Five minutes later, Twilight stepped into the room. “No need to worry, the princess – ” She stopped as she saw her friends fighting and yelling strange words. She rushed forward. “Everypony, please – ” Her hoof stepped onto the punch spill and she slipped backwards, striking her head upon the marble floor.

“Right this way, Princess,” said Spike.

Princess Celestia stepped into the room and gasped at the sight. Six bruised and battered ponies sat before her, looking ashamed and guilty. “Whatever happened?”

“Oh, wir hatten gerade einen kleinen Streit. Na ja, vielleicht nicht klein...”
“Ceci est une princesse de conte foiré...”
“Chimicherry a i ʻole cherrychanga? Chimicherry a i ʻole cherrychanga?...”
“Mā, soko ni watashi wa, Rarity o tomeyou to shite ita...”
“neH tring QaH 'Ip, jIH...”
“Aranel. Ni am sorrime tye had ana túl...”

Author's Note

Maybe not the story you were expecting of me. But, I haven't written a full story since May, and I wanted to write something short and fun to get back in the habit. Hope you enjoyed this little bit of chaos! Discord would be oh so proud!

Dreadnought