Battle Royale!
By Lucen Aurora
A full moon rose serenely over tranquil woodlands that stretched out up to the base of the mountain range far, far in the distance. A small pony hamlet could be seen from the top of a hill that harshly illuminated two figures, it's denizens fast asleep, only a few magical lanters flickering to disturb its tranquility. The peace was not to last.
A haughty looking unicorn mare with light blue fur and a dark blue mane raised an eyebrow. Her star covered and pointed wizards hat was cocked defiantly on her head and only partilly hid her ears. Her star covered cape, held together with a gemmed broach fluttered mockingly in the gentle summer breeze.
"You refer to yourself as we? The Great & Powerfull Trixie thinks that's dumb."
"WE ARE THE PRINCESS OF THE NIGHT AND WE DEMAND THAT YOU DECEASE YOUR INANE PRATTLING AT ONCE!" the night princess bellowed, shattering the nights calm, her guazy, starry mane billowing behind her, the moonlight glinting off her crown and chestplate.
"The Great & Powerfull Trixie does not take orders from anypony," Trixie declared with a scowl.
"INSOLENT FOAL! YOU KNOW NOT WHAT THOU HATH PROVOKED. WE SHALL TEACH YOU THE MANNERS YOUR MATRIARCH FAILED TO!" the night princess bellowed with enough force to nearly blow The Great & Powerfull Trixie's hat off.
The Great & Powerfull Trixie threw her head back and uttered a wiley laugh followed by a derisive snort, "You would dare to challenge The Great & Powerfull Trixie?"
"WE WILL DARE WHATEVER WE PLEASE UNDER THE LIGHT OF THE MOON, FOR THE NIGHT IS OURS AND OUR STRENGTH IS THE STRENGTH OF THE MOONLIGHT ETERNAL! " raged the night princess as she pawed the ground and glared at the insolent pony before her.
The Great & Powerfull Trixie rolled her eyes at the princess and spoke, "This is Trixie rolling her eyes. She thinks that if you where anywhere near as great as you say, you would never have been banished to the moon by your sister. Not that she thinks much of your sister either."
The Great & Powerful Trixie defiantly flipped her hair at the night princess.
"THAT THOU HATH INSULTED US IS INEXCUSABLE. THAT THOU WOULD INSULT OUR SISTER IS DOUBLY SO!"
The Great & Powerfull Trixie yawned and stretched out her rear legs one at a time, then looked up at the enraged princess with half lidded eyes.
"Clearly you have no idea whom you are speaking too. Trixie has defeated the Ursa Major in single combat. Trixie has tamed dragons and made them do tricks for her amusement. Trixie has parted the very seas to driver herself to other continents; the mighty creatures of the deep have bowed to her from their salty abodes. To tame a fake godess such as yourself?" Trixie smirked, "She will show you why she is so Great & Powerfull!"
"HAVE AT YOU KNAVE!" the moon princess snarled as she charged forward
"You want the Great & Powerful Trixie? Come get her!" the unicorn laughed and charged at the enraged goddess.
The two ponies hurtled at each other, Luna in a full and frothing rage and Trixie with a wild and wily laugh. The two ponies met and crashed, bodies entangled as they wrestled on the soft grass, rubbing, sweaty, hot, bodies. Their eyes met and in that moment Trixie let out a cry of triumpth as all of Lunas rage drained away. The two kissed, each tounge seeking the others...Twilight sparkle trailed off to a mummble, glassy eyed and staring off into the distance. Fluttershy and Rarity stared opened mouthed at the scholar. Applejack groaned and Rainbow Dash snickered.
"And that's why, and that's why, Luna and Trixie can never meet..." Twilight Sparkle whispered, trailing off into more mummbling that sounded suspiciously erotic even if her friends couldn't make out what she was actually saying.
"Well, that's certainly, a different, er, story," Rarity replied, smiling wanly at the lavender unicorn before looking away from the tea table and at some other part of her boutique.
"Yeah, but how about some details, Twi, it was just getting good!" coaxed a grinning Rainbow Dash.
"Dashiel! Please, not during Tea. Really dear, did you leave the sense Celestia gave you at home today?" Rarity admonished.
"Hey, it's not my fault! She's the one telling dirty stories during your tea time!" Rainbow Dash protested.
"If you want to hear the rest of it, I know where Twilight keeps it writ..."
Spike couldn't finish his sentence because a lavender magical field stuffed his tail in his mouth and clamped it down.
"Twilight Sparkle!" cried Rarirty.
Twilight was still staring off into the distance, glassy eyed and mumbling.
"It's jes like Granny Smith said. It's always the quiet ones," muttered Applejack over Rainbows fit of giggles at spikes prediciment. She looked over at Fluttershy who meeped quietly and hid behind her long pink mane.
Snick. Swoosh. Slam. Snick.
"TWILIGHT SPARKLE!" cired Rarity again as she rushed over to where Twilight had shoved her number one assistant into a unused footlocker.
Rainbow Dash erupted into a fit of roaring laughter, rolling on the ground in tears and nearly knocking over the tea table as Rarity futily tried to use her own magic to pry the glassy eyed unicorns magical deathgrip off the footlocker.
Meanwhile, At Canterlot Castle...
A viewscreen shows a white unicorn pleading with a lavender one for a split second more before going to a black screen with the headshot of a pink party pony. Under the head in neat gothic letters it reads, "Pinkie Cam, Ponyville Region, Camera #864,756". The screen goes dark a few seconds later, its surface a mirror that reflects an engraged pony with a light blue coat, a dark blue mane and a cutiemark of a stylized moon and a star wand.
"Outragous! Scandalous! Short!" shouted the blue unicorn.
"The Great & ALL POWERFULL Trixie would NOT roll her eyes at anypony! Only foals roll their eyes, " she raged.
On a nearby bed the princess lazily rolled onto her side and spread her wings invitingly.
"Where is the drama, the suspense, the showponyship! Trixie is insulted to be even included in such a story!" the unicorn shrieked, stomping her front hooves on the stone floor in frustation.
"We thought it was an intersting story. We recall it was Trixies idea to spy on her foe." the princess replied with a smirk.
Trixie rolled her eyes at the princess, "And Trixie thought the princess had grown out of the annoying royal "we". Clearly she was wrong. Though she grudgingly admits that she does indeed think that the princess is dumb for using such an outdated manner of speaking."
The princess knickered softly at the unicorns frustration.
"Come to bed. We wish to have sexytimes with our consort," the princess said a she sent a magical force along Trixies belly, up her underside and through her plot, flipping Trixies tail up in the air.
Trixie shrieked in surprise at the sensation and yeeked softly as the princess lifed her gently up and floated her over to the bed.
"The Great & Powerfull Trixie is perfectly capable of getting into bed herself," the unicorn indignantly but halfheartedly protested as she slid between the princesses wings and into her waiting hooves.
"We think thou dost protest too much," the princess cooed in and nibled on Trixies ear.
Trixie pouted slightly, but only slightly as she was soon returning the princesses warm embrace.
Oh yes, tonights sexytimes are going to be the best yet, Celestia decided.
