Chapters Think carefully about what happened back then. Come on, brain! Time to get to work. How did she open the door? Try to recall what she used. There has to be something I'm missing here. You memorized all those details in anatomy books. You can recall some steps to open up a door. An untouchable door, but a door nonetheless.
I tried my best to recall the events that took place before she left. This might sound crazy, but in my living room, there is a door that doesn't lead anywhere. This door wasn't always there. It was a recent addition, something my last guest left behind four days ago when she suddenly wandered through it and disappeared. She went back home. I'm glad she made it back, don't get me wrong.
But.
She, she left something behind. And based on what she said to me, it is something important. A pendant shaped like a moon, and with a small sapphire attached to it. The chain seemed to be made out of silver too.
"This was a gift from my sister. We made one for each other. It was a promise that we would always have each other's back. That we would always be together."
Those words reverberated in my mind as I held the pendant in my hands. That small piece of metal represented a bond between two sisters. Family is something you don't mess around with. Losing this pendant could make them fall apart, or maybe even fight for a long time.
That's why I had to remember. That is why I had to open that door. That's why I.
(Four days ago)
"Chalk?" I asked with a glass of water in my hand. "Why do you need chalk?"
"I need to draw a magic circle. I have enough power to make the trip back," She replied while making a piece of toast float up to her mouth. "I also need two candles," I nearly choked when I heard that.
"Please, don't say that you need the blood of a cow or something like that," My response caused her to choke on the toast. I ended up having to rub her back while she tried to contain her laughter.
"I'm not going to summon a demon. You can relax. The circle will have some of my kind's writing on it and no shapes. The wax from the candles will make the door appear," She explained after regaining her composure.
"Thank god! I was afraid you're were gonna ask for the blood of a virgin too. I'm pretty attached to my blood, you know?" I replied making her snort again. It was hard to believe, but I was speaking to a hor-pony. I was talking to a magical pony with wings and a horn. She had a white coat and a pink mane that were too silky and soft to be real.
Her name was Celestia. Her title was Princess Celestia, daughter of the Sun. She was the elder sister of Princess Luna, daughter of the Moon. Their mother was called Queen Faust, Ruler of the Ancient Scriptures. According to Celestia, Faust was the first pony to ascend to the status of Alicorn, which also happens to be Celestia's species.
After that sad excuse for breakfast, I went to the store and got myself a box of candles and chalk. Celestia forgot to mention color or any specification for that matter, so I ended up with two boxes for each. When I got back, I found Celestia placing a few pages side by side within a closed space.
"What are those?" I asked while placing the boxes near her. She let out an eep before turning to me with a glare. "My car makes plenty of noise. It's not my fault that you ignore what's happening around you when you're making magic."
Pouting at my remark, Celestia looked at the boxes before turning back to me. "Why are there two?"
"You forgot to mention if they had to be a specific color. Therefore, I picked one of the regular and one of the colored ones for each," I replied while petting her head. "Can't afford to make mistakes now, can we?"
Blushing at the gesture, Celestia looked away while pulling the white chalk to her. "This will do fine. And are you sure?"
"Yep. I have things to take care of here. The people here need to get their pay, and I need to be here to see how the animals and other things are being handled," I replied with a half-smile. The offer she spoke of was the opportunity to go back with her to Equos, her world.
This is going to be weird to explain, but after I spent some time sheltering her. Something happened between us. Not that kind of weird, I was not about to do it with a pony. It's like, how should I put it? We were trying to figure out a way to get closer. And when Celestia started with the talk of getting back home, she offered me to go back. Needless to say that, both of us were still confused as to how to deal with this situation.
In the end, we decided it would be best for us to go our separate ways.
"I'll get started," Celestia said with a sad voice. I swear I saw her hold back some tears while I kept a poker face with a waterfall coming out of my eyes. Yep, I am a crybaby.
While Celestia prepared her way back, I rushed to my room and got a package that I had requested about a month ago. It ended up being a bit more expensive than I thought, but it was beautiful. A golden necklace with a purple gem attached to it, my last gift to her before she went away. Running back to the living room, I found Celestia standing with a box of matches floating by her side.
"Everything is set," She said with her eyes turning red. I pulled out my phone and then handed her the necklace. "W-what is this?" She asked while dropping the matchbox.
"I wanted to give you something before you went away," I said while placing the necklace on her. "There, a perfect fit. Do you mind if we take a picture before you go? Of you, the circle and us?"
(Back to present)
Facepalming at my stupidity, I ran to my phone to check the photo gallery.
How did I forget about this? HOW?! For the love of, FINE! THIS IS F-I-N-E! I mused as the memory of the same night Celestia left came to me. Oh, yeah. I cried so hard I went unconscious. SUE ME FOR CRYING!
It was easy enough to find the pictures, drawing them on the other hand, that was going to be a doozy. In my stupidity, I took several pictures instead of trying to capture the entire circle. Meaning I had no idea where the letters were supposed to start. I am no magician, nothing close to it. But even a poor ignorant soul like me knows that magic can be finicky. And I'm not a big fan of having my body turned into jam, or ending up with my face on my feet, or some other hideous magical mishap.
Strangely enough, I am very attached to my life. Save for a few occasions, where it seems that my recklessness is equal to the idiocy level of fighting a dinosaur with just my fists.
Switching to the last picture of the gallery, I saw a familiar scene. It was a picture of both me and Celestia smiling on my couch. The necklace looked good on her. It was kinda hard to make it look like the one in the show. But she was really happy about it. The thought of her crying for any reason made me clench the pendant hard. I ran towards the box of chalk, re-did the entire circle, then looking at the pictures on my phone, and made the writings as best as I could.
Ok. I'm doing something stupid. And I am going to regret this eventually. However, I will at least get some supplies before lighting the candles. A backpack, a sleeping bag, food, a compass, a flint, and maybe a carving knife should do the trick. Can't risk carrying too much on me.
After concluding that, I went to my room and packed the things I believed would aid in my survival. I placed the pendant around my neck before heading back to the living room. I could see the door more clearly now. Reaching for the candle box, I picked up two candles before getting myself a matchbox. Placing the candles at the base of the door frame, I lit up the candles.
The wax from the candle suddenly moved on its own as it filled the frame. Watching with the same level of awe as the first time I saw it, I waited for the ritual's end. Taking about half an hour, the door was complete. I took a deep breath before touching the handle. The metal felt real.
That's it, I am going to make a jump to another world to deliver a small pendant. I have to be the most insane person on earth.
Twisting the knob, I pushed the door open before rushing inside. Or, that's how it should have been. Instead of walking out the door like Celestia, I stepped into air and fell.
And fell.
And continued falling for about an hour or so. Being blinded by the lights, I shut my eyes as my body violently shook through the air. I believe it's clear that I was screaming like a baby. I will not deny it. I was in total panic mode as I tried to make sense of my situation. But, of course, I was not going to have things go my way. Before I could make sense of my bearing, I slammed the ground hard with my face.
Opening my eyes, I saw a familiar sight. An old ruin, surrounded by forest as far as the eye could see.
Author's Note
OK!
Let's make this thing work. I have no idea as to what I am doing. Nor do I plan to know what I'm doing. I'm as lost as it gets. How about you get lost with me?
The friendliest place in Equestria
The climb down the ravine was smoother than I had thought. That is until the rope decided to snap because of friction against the ravine's edge causing me to fall, right when I was about to reach the ground. The impact wasn't severe, nor was the surface harmful. It was another sore landing for me to deal with, nothing more.
Once I was back on my feet, I looked around for the stone path that led back up the ravine. However, before getting to it, I recalled something about a tree that should be in that ravine. Looking for a cave, I stumbled upon an opening that was filled with black vines covered in green thorns. Climbing on top of a crystal tree, the thorns seemed to be pulsating. However, they were having a hard time progressing to cover the tree.
I think these are supposed to be evil. I could cut them. Correction, I SHOULD cut them. I reasoned while pulling out the dagger. These aren't supposed to be here. It's time to die.
Surprisingly enough, the thorns in contact with the tree seemed to be withering. When the dagger touched them, they almost turned into ash. It was a rather disturbing sight to be perfectly honest. It looked like I had tossed a bucket of Time Fall over each of the vines.
If I look at the sky and see an inverted rainbow, I swear that I am sinking this dagger on my temple. I thought while removing the final vine. Once they were gone, I sheathed the blade and headed out the cave. However, as I approached the entrance, I felt a strange breeze rush past me. Looking over my shoulder, I saw the figure of a white anthropomorphic pony with a dark shade of orange for its mane. The image waved at me with a smile on its face before disappearing into a cloud of sparkles.
That's normal. This is FINE. I'm sure I did not just see a ghost come out of a tree. I'm not going to run like a baby. I am not running for my life. This is a strategic withdraw towards the woods. I AM NOT PANICKING BECAUSE I JUST SAW A GHOST!
"GHOST!" I quietly screamed while stumbling up the ravine's exit.
FUCKING SUE ME, OK?! I can deal with magical unicorns and crazy monsters, THAT ARE ALIVE. However, ghosts? THE UNDEAD?! That is a big no-no. And I repeat, FUCK GHOSTS! If I see a cloudy puff of smoke floating with an umbilical cord attached to the sky I am throwing myself over the ravine and ending my life before causing a void-out. SHIT. That only covers one type of ghost. I could still turn into a revenant. Or even a wraith. FUCK! NO GHOSTS.
This is the NO GHOST ZONE. I repeat! This is-
"Princess, a noble has requested an audience by the flower arch," A guard said while saluting me with a stoic expression. "He requested that you attend at your earliest convenience."
Letting out an exasperated sigh, I got up on her hooves before stretching up my arms and back. Thanks to the current state of affairs; and the fact that my student had been allocated to a new town. The court had been relatively quiet.
Perhaps I should have had Twilight stay a little longer. Her company was more enjoyable than these nuisances. I can already see the scene. Violins playing in the back, a carefully tailored suit, the best flowers in Equestria arranged in a bouquet, a box containing the best gem they could afford, and then we come to the catch-phrases.
"I always loved you."
Or, they could go with: "You are the very definition of beauty."
If they are so bold they might go for: "My love burns for you with the intensity of a thousand suns!"
But in the end, it always comes to: "Will you marry me?"
And then I'll respond with: "No. I'm sorry. But I cannot marry a pony I do not love."
They will turn bitter, they will ask for a chance to prove their love. Then they'll start yelling love oaths as I walk away before they start talking behind my back about how they almost had me. And then out comes the next one. Then the cycle repeats.
Not noticing how long I had been musing about the scene's layout, I found myself at the flower arch with another random noble. I couldn't care less about their name or title, all that mattered was dismissing him and then returning to my work. I didn't have time to mess around with a spoiled rich pony. The same mane, the same mannerisms, how did I attract exact copies in different color pallets? Did Equestria build a factory to mass-produce the same type of stallion?
The answer was no. I had made sure of that. After seeing all those events back then, I had to make sure we had the best possible outcomes for every scenario. So, I might have tipped the scales in the male/female ratio over the years. I might have also caused some changes across the world. But it was all for the best. I think.
"My Princess, you are beauty incarnate," The noble started while I rolled my eyes at the predictable scene. Out came the violins and a cello. The sound coming from the later was particularly familiar. The performer had to be Octavia Melody. "I traveled far and wide to collect these beautiful flowers. And by venturing into the deepest caves, I found this," He continued without realizing I wasn't paying attention. "The grand pink diamond. Unmatched by any other gem in this world. Now, would you be so kind, as to marry this humble stallion?"
Putting on a smile painted in gold, I tried my best to look apologetic. "I'm so sorry, my little pony. But I cannot take you up on your offer. Marriage is a bond formed between two beings that love each other deeply. I cannot taint such a bond with an empty link."
And thus, another scene of stammering began. "B-but my princess! I-I went above and b-beyond to acquire such t-treasures! S-surely y-you can see my dedication?" Waving good-bye with a forced smile on my face, I walked away. "P-please wait! D-do you have another?!"
Freezing up in place, my head went blank for a second. Did he just? Calm down. No one knows about him. You already did your part, he is dead. There is nothing more I can do. I went to see him. He is gone. I can't-. Feeling the tears form in my eyes, I sprung my wings before taking off towards my tower. I needed to seclude myself for a few minutes. The Bringer of Harmony can't be crying without reason. However, within the safety of my tower, the one place where there are no eyes on me, I'm not the goddess they see every day. There, I am a pony. There, I can be myself.
After making a fast jog for about ten minutes, I decided that I could stop. The forest was dense, and ghosts along with other undead tend to be attached to specific areas. Or that's what movies and Monsterpedias tend to tell me. Then again, that was my useless encyclopedia on myths and folklore speaking. Looking at my surroundings, I realized that I forgot to see in what direction I had run towards. In other words, I could very well be lost.
Let's see here. The map shows a river running over here, southwest of the castle. From there it's a straight walk south to reach the town. If this map has any kind of accuracy that is. I can assume I was running straight west when I left the castle, and try to go southwest from here. Or, I can climb on a tree and see if I spot a clearing.
Putting my bag on the ground and the compass in my pocket, I looked around for a tree that seemed climbable for me. There was one that had a rock underneath it. Using it as a stepping stone, I managed to grab a branch before making my way towards the top. Up there on the highest stable branch, I could barely make out what seemed to be a clearing. Checking the compass's needle, I verified the area's direction before climbing down the tree.
After gathering my things, I headed northeast from my current position. It was a walk of about thirty to forty minutes to reach the area. Which turned out to be a swamp. According to the map, that area was to the north of the castle ruins. Meaning that from where I was, I could walk west and find the river. Then it was just a matter of going straight southeast. Picking up the pace, I walked by the swamp's borders to avoid any creatures that could be hiding in the murky waters.
Ok! Now that I found the river, Ponyville here I come!
I had no idea how far away I was from the town. My legs begged me to stop and rest after that insane hike I've been doing since I got out of the ravine. However, if I did that, I would become a target for any creature lurking within the vicinity. And like I said before, I'm a bit attached to my life.
Legs, like, lead. Can't drag, anymore. Gonna, drop here. I whined while dragging my feet through the grass. No way in hell I was stopping until I was by the edge of town. It didn't matter that the sun was down. I was about to take a short rest when the sound of music caught my attention. Feeling a rush of adrenaline, I ran towards the sound.
HOLY CRAP THAT'S A PYRE. I screamed in my mind as a group of anthropomorphic ponies danced around a huge pyre. It was built like the torches from Lord of The Rings, the ones that signaled the call for help from Gondor. But instead of the feeling of dread and urgency, the air around them seemed like a celebration.
"Tonight we celebrate the defeat of Nightmare Moon!" A female-looking pony shouted from a small stage. If memory serves, that was the mayor of the town. "We shall stay awake to witness the sunrise brought to us by PRINCESS CELESTIA! Remember, my dear citizens, in three years, Princess Celestia shall perform this wondrous feat in our little town!"
Watching the crowd roar, I scanned for the train station. From my hiding spot, I couldn't see it.
Ok. Metal Gear time. Sneak around the town. Stay away from the fire and you'll be fine. It's not like things are different. Like, Zecora isn't in the middle of that party dancing with the other ponies. And that isn't the protagonist over there. No, she is in Canterlot. She comes to this town when Nightmare returns. Which is when Celestia is celebrating this thing here.
Trying my best to ignore the obvious differences from what I recalled from the show, I snuck through the back alleys until I reached a fairly empty bridge. I could cross the stream from underneath it without a cinch if need be. Which, much to my luck, wasn't the case. Looking from underneath the bridge, I spotted the tracks and the train about sixty to sixty-five feet from where I was.
Ok, there is no cover from here to there. I wish I had a cardboard box. Or a barrel.
Peeking from under the bridge, I saw that the ponies on top of it had left towards the central square. That had to be my chance. Running as low as I could, I crossed the space and reached the station. Covering my mouth to reduce sound, I waited for my breathing to return to normal.
Almost there. All I need to do is sneak into the cargo and wait for the train to take off. WAIT! I have to see the itinerary. If this train isn't heading to Canterlot I'm screwed.
Quietly climbing over the station's base. I managed to catch a glimpse of the train's itinerary. Once sunrise was done, the NEXT train would leave for Canterlot. Smiling and praising myself for being such a smart lad, I found an open broom closet and waited for the train to leave.
Pushing as hard as I could, I tried to force Celestia out of the couch. Back in Equos, they don't have such comfy beds that can accommodate an alicorn, as well as my couch could. In other words, she was being a bratty child, again.
"Two days! I've been trying to be nice to you for two fucking days! Why are you such a pain in the ass?!" I inquired while putting my back into pushing her off the couch.
"You should be more respectful towards my title!" She whined while tossing all of her weight on me.
"I am trying! But all you do is sit and complain about everything!" I shot back as my arms began to hurt. "It doesn't matter what I do, all you do is complain! I am stuck with a job that was dumped on me. And then I'm trying to be nice to a complete bitch who wants me to respect her when she can't even respect the fact that she is in MY HOUSE!" I screamed as I fell on the ground with her on top of me. That's when I heard a cracking sound.
"What was that?" Celestia inquired while her eyes widened at the sight.
Yep, you guessed it. Lading flawlessly with my arm in a bad position, Celestia's added weight twisted it in a way it shouldn't and now it was broken. Grunting at the sharp pain, I tried to get up, however, Celestia seemed to be in shock thanks to my wriggly arm that was lying limply on the floor.
"This is FUCKING amazing!" I said while gritting my teeth. "I LOVE how my arm can reach spots it couldn't before. Isn't that such a handy UPGRADE?!" The venom in my voice must have woken Celestia up, cause she was terrified.
"I-I, I, I," Celestia stuttered while getting up hastily and backing away from me. "I-I didn't. I didn't mean to. I, I'm. H-how should I? I didn't expect you to. W-what am I?" She kept rambling as her eyes darted around as if she was looking for something. "T-there are no healers. I-I. I'm n-not a. I-I can't. T-there are no m-medics. I-I'm on my own."
GREAT! Now I broke her. Isn't this a wonderful evening?!
Forcing myself to stand up, I grabbed hold of my arm and walked towards the front door. After that, I ended up in the hospital where they put my bones back in place before immobilizing it. It would seem that my right arm would be out of commission for about a month. Fucking A.
When I got back home, I found Celestia curled up in the corner. Sobbing and whimpering, Celestia's eyes kept darting from the couch to my landing spot. She appeared to be in shock still. Thankfully, I was slightly tingly because of the anesthetic they gave me due to the lack of local anesthetic at the time. So, I was more cool-headed than when I left.
"Hey, Sunny butt," I said without much care, I was way over my head. Another fun fact, I act like a drunkard when I'm under the effects of certain anesthetics. "What are you doing?"
"Y-you, I-I. I broke your arm," She whimpered while trying to hide her face underneath her hooves.
"Yep. It's broken alright," I said while looking at the casket. "Unfortunately, I have some bad news," Never underestimate the boundaries I might cross when pseudo-drunk my friends. "I am going to die with this arm!"
Watching carefully for her reaction, I saw Celestia's mane turn white as she removed her hooves from her face. An expression of horror and fear had taken over the usually bratty and bitchy expression. Her eyes were red with how much she had cried. The streams coming down her face turned into waterfalls as her sobbing got out of control and she threw her forelegs around me.
"I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you that bad! And now, you're going to die!" She whimpered while holding me tight. "I'm a horrible pony! I'm not a princess! I am a selfish greedy brat that doesn't respect any of her peers. I cheat on the tests my teacher gives us by looking at Luna's answers! I am the worst pony ever!"
Have you ever heard about the phrase, Karma is a bitch? Well, I can guarantee you that it is a hundred percent accurate. When she was in that state, she began to hug me so tightly that I was having a hard time breathing. Tapping on her shoulder, I kept trying to gesture her to let go of me for me to not die of asphyxiation. She eventually let go as I drew a deep breath and felt my consciousness return.
"When I said that," I said in between gasps. "I meant that I am going to keep living with this arm attached to me until I die," I explained while trying to get my breathing under control. Celestia was not happy about my joke. It was clear as day in her face. Expecting some kind of kick or jab, I closed my eyes and waited for the impact.
"YOU JERK!" She screamed while pulling me into another bear hug. "I WAS WORRIED! I PANICKED! I!"
I passed out.
"ALL ABOARD!"
The sound of screams and an engine starting made me wake up. Peeking through the keyhole, I saw the train leaving the station. That meant that I could jump the next train when it arrived. Except that, I wasn't looking at the previously parked train. No, that was my target. I realized it when I glanced at the station's clock.
FUCK! Cursing my stupidity, I picked a towel that was left in the broom closet and ran towards the train while using it as cover. Thankfully, the rush of ponies coming in and out of the train allowed me to get closer to the cargo car. I tossed the towel on the guy putting the cargo in the train causing him to fall on top of the pieces of baggage and giving me the window to get in without being noticed.
I do not know what kind of lucky star is watching over me. But I am glad to have it.
I'm leaving the friendliest place in Equestria. And heading towards the greatest castle in Equestria. Why am I like this? I am heading towards the capital that had a HUGE FUCKING FORCE FIELD AROUND IT. How in heaven's name am I supposed to get past that?! I might get crushed into the walls of the train before I even have a chance to jump off!
Author's Note
Place your bets! Let's see what happens next!
Thanks for reading, let me know what you thought about it!
Have you ever looked back on a plan you made and realized how stupid it was? And got even more surprised as you realized that it had worked? Let me tell you this: it is not a pleasant feeling. You feel a rush of cold sweat running down your spine as you realize how much trouble you could have gotten into if things hadn't gone your way. It is a terrifying moment in which you lose all confidence in what you did so far.
What was I thinking?! I was nearly caught several times in a matter of hours! If they had caught me, I would have turned into a lab rat! I am a demented idiot! I scolded myself while hiding behind the packages to be delivered to Canterlot. I might be a bit problematic when dealing with these situations, but I can be bright enough to realize when I'm doing something really stupid. This usually happens after said stupid event.
Needless to say, I was panicking as new ideas began to pop in my head. I could be in a trap. They could be allowing me to stay in this place to apprehend me when I arrived at the station. There is no guarantee that the guards aren't waiting for me outside of this cart right now! My God! I am so fucking stupid!
After that little breakdown, I began to process information once again. I was in a world with anthropomorphic ponies. The Celestia I met was a regular pony. I AM IN THE WRONG WORLD! FUUUUUUUUUUUU-?! NO! Calm down. I can't panic now! What I need, what I need is! Sleep! Calm my thoughts. And rest. Yeah, that's right. Just drift away.
Washing in the shower, I was relaxing under the warm water when the door opened up. I panicked for a couple of seconds, I will admit to that. Peeking out of the curtain, I saw Celestia casually trotting towards the toilet. She looked at me and tilted her head.
"Oh, that's where you went," Celestia said while using her magic to open up the curtains. You can guess my reaction to that, I closed the curtains shut while letting out a WHAT THE HELL.
"WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!" I asked while glaring at her silhouette.
"Sorry, I didn't know you humans washed while standing up," Celestia said with an oddly calm voice. "And, was that thing in between-"
"I'm going to stop you right there!" I interrupted while my voice cracked. "Those were my privates and I will not have you comparing it to the privates of a horse! And why the hell was that the first thing you looked at?!"
"E-er, I, I, no reason!" She replied with her voice cracking. About two months had passed since Celestia appeared and the little accident with my arm had happened. Since that day, she had been slightly more tolerable. There were plenty of antiques for me to get annoyed at though. "I, I came here to use the toilet."
Something clicked in the back of my mind when she said that. "Wait, how have you been, erm, relieving yourself? You have-NEVER MIND I CAN SEE YOUR SHADOW SITTING IN THE TOILET! Where did you learn that?!" I inquired while turning away from the shadow of a pony sitting on my toilet.
"I saw the moving picture with something called a dinosaur. A man was sitting on these toilets. And there were other moving pictures showing these for comedy. So, I connected the dots," She replied nonchalantly while I shrunk in the shower.
"Ok, that makes sense," I replied while having my back turned to her. "But how have you been cleaning yourself? The toilet paper isn't sized for-?!"
Cutting me midsentence, the sound of the curtains opening made me run to the corner of the shower. I had my back turned to her. Now, it made sense. There was less hot water now and then in the showers. Celestia was probably using the showers to clean herself whenever she used the toilet. Crouching in the corner, I kept my back turned to Celestia. Strangely enough, there weren't any metallic sounds when she entered the shower. Meaning that Celestia probably ditched the horseshoes before entering there with me.
That was when I felt something on my shoulder. It was soft and warm.
"Sorry to intrude," Celestia spoke in an apologetic tone. Something she barely did. "But, I don't like being dirty for too long after using the toilet. I'll be done in a second."
"Is that your hoof on my shoulder?" I asked while staring into the corner.
"Yes. Yes, it is." Celestia replied with a calm voice. "Do you need any help with your cleaning?"
Feeling the flush of blood running towards my face, I tried to bury my face in the corner. "No. I can handle this myself. I'll wait for you to finish, then I'll handle the rest of the shower." I replied while trying to not run out of the bathroom in my birthday suit.
"I, I see," Celestia replied with a hint of disappointment. And that was a bit concerning for me, especially since she mostly spoke to me to ask about shows and other devices around the house. "In that case, would you mind if I asked for a favor."
Oh, no.
"You see, I try to keep my magic usage into limited numbers a day."
Please, don't.
"I need to conserve energy. And using telekinesis for baths requires continuous use for areas I can't reach with a sponge or brush."
I don't like where this is going!
"So, could you be so kind as to help me clean when I take a bath?"
That was the last straw. Letting out a loud 'nope' followed by an 'I'm out!', I ran out of the bathroom slipped on the floor because there was soap on my feet for some reason (probably due to Celestia washing herself and the soap running down her body and the floor). After that, I blacked out.
The blaring sound of a train whistle caused me to wake up. I have never been on a steam train before, but as far as movies and series taught me, those signified a crossing point or the arrival at a destination. Picking myself up, I rushed to the cart's door before opening up a small window to see which case was it.
I've arrived. Those are the walls of the castle.
However, as I peeked through the small gap I realized that I was screwed. Standing ready at the station's platform, seven armed soldiers had their weapons pointed at my cart.
I did an oopsie! A BIG FUCKIN OOPSIE! HELP! HELP! HELP!
Amidst the panic, I removed the dagger from my belt before holding the sheathed weapon, ready to toss it on the floor as a means of declaring my intention to surrender. Running, fighting, evading them, none of these options were viable at that point. I was screwed and there was no one to bail me out of it. Grabbing hold of the cart's door handle, I grunted while pushing the door open.
"HOLD IT!" The soldiers outside shouted, I felt inclined to respond with OBJECTION! Or, TAKE THAT! But, I digress. Stepping out of the cart, I dropped the dagger before kicking it towards them.
"I surrender! Please, don't hurt me!" I shouted while getting down on my knees. "I mean no harm! I want a way to get back home!"
Rushing to my side, the soldiers stripped me of my bag and my phone. I didn't protest, but I found it odd when they didn't touch the pendant around my neck. I felt like Geralt during the prison segment in the second Witcher game. And that was bad, Geralt was tortured and beaten up by the guards until his opportunity to escape came by. He had allies to give him the key and a means of escaping, I lacked that trait. Not to mention he could use magic and received training as a monster hunter! I'm a recently graduated doctor without any combat experience whatsoever! At best, I know how to ride a horse because of the farm! Which, by the way, I bet is slang here for sex in this world! I needed help! I needed a familiar face! I needed!
Air.
Panicking as I was, I began to hyperventilate violently while the guards, which were all mares, placed handcuffs on me! Do you know what happens if you can't get hyperventilation under control? You pass out! But, guess what? They didn't allow me to pass out as one of the guards slapped me on the face hard. I bet the intention was to snap me out of the panic. But, that was what knocked me out. Yeah, as it turns out, horses are heavy hitters.
I wonder how things are going down in Ponyville. Knowing Twilight, she should be with some kind of report almost ready to send through Spike. And it should arrive around four or five o'clock. I wish she acted more like a pony and less like a clock. In any case, coming up next should be the guards' reports on the situation of the Crystal Empire.
Everything seems to be in order. The papers don't say anything about a new threat. Oh, Blueblood found a special pony? That's good. That straightening up when he came to me was well deserved and effective. Let's see, the residents of the crystal empire seem to be satisfied and the accounting is on the mark. Well, it would seem he was indeed a competent leader. Charisma with discipline can make for a good combination, just like he said.
"Wake up!" That was all that I heard after a tsunami of cold water splashed over my face and body.
"GAH! WHAT!? WHO!?" I screamed while trying to back away from the voice.
After rubbing my eyes to clear out the water, I tried to look at the voice. I was surprised to see a somewhat familiar face. Save for the well-kept mane, the long eyelashes, gender-bent captain of the guard. Or at least, the one that should be the captain of the guard. Donning armor similar to the guards that caught me back in the station, Shining Armor stood there with a bucket in her/his hands (I was not sure, for all I knew he/she could be dressed up like a girl or something).
"I'm Lieutenant Gleaming Shield. I am in charge of this small section of the guard. We received a report of a stowaway boarding the train in Ponyville. The ponies weren't sure on how to describe the stowaway due to them wearing a cloak. Am I correct to assume you're the one they referred to?"
At least they aren't locking me up in a lab right off the bat. Ok. Calm down and think.
"I am the one that boarded the train. I was stranded in the forest near that town I boarded the train about two days ago," I explained while getting up. That's when I noticed that they had put me in a prison outfit, something familiar to what you would see back in my world. What the hell? How did they make these? The only prison I ever heard of in this show was Tartarus.
Shaking my head sideways, I focused on finishing my explanation. "I made my way out of the ruins I woke up in, sneaked around town once I noticed no one looked like me, overheard about a powerful being living in a place called Canterlot, and then boarded the train hoping to find this being and get back home."
Frowning at my explanation, Sh-Gleaming Shield crossed hi-her arms. "So, where is your home?"
"Probably not in this world," I answered bluntly. Saying 'somewhere far away' felt off, they could start listing names for me to pick, then I would be in trouble.
"You're saying you are an alien," She replied tilting her head. "Fine, tell me what you are."
Now that's a question I can be specific about.
"I am human, male, twenty-four years old, and my name is Caleb Porter," I replied with a serious face.
"Human?" Gleaming asked while leaning forward. "Those died before Faust ascended. They died of cold due to the Windigoes before Equestria was founded."
The horse spirits from that Christmas thing? Wait, there were humans here?!
"Based on the corpses found and the remnants of towns, they were classified as a primitive species. And gone extinct before they could thrive. At least, that's what the historians documented. You're saying you are a member of an extinct species. Are you sure you want to do that?" Gleaming asked with a menacing tone. "Before you answer that, what happened to your hooves?"
She must mean my feet. I guess she never-.
"WHAT THE FUCK?!" I screamed while falling on my behind. My feet had turned from beige to cream-colored. My toenails were black as if they had gone necrotic. Reaching for my feet, I realized that the skin on my feet was covered in cream-colored fur. Adding to that, my movements were stiff and my toes were rigid as if they weren't meant to move. "I did not look like this when I got here! This was not here! I need to go back home ASAP! I DON'T WANT TO TURN INTO A RANDOM CREATURE!"
"Understood. You were not aware of that detail," Gleaming Shield said while rolling her eyes. "I believe this is all you can offer for us. We shall send this information for the researches and the Princess."
Researchers? That is a wagon of bad news. No-no-no! Save the situation!
"If you have to notify someone, notify the princess!" I screamed while rushing toward the bars. "I'm a creature from a different world! I didn't plan on disappearing! If I remain missing for too long, others will come! I don't know about you, but I rather avoid conflict since humans back in my world tend to be a bit jumpy. Please, they called Princess Celestia powerful. She might be able to send me home!" I pleaded while shaking the bars.
"Is that a threat?" The mare replied with a cold glare.
BIG OOPSIE! ABORT!
"NO! This not a threat! I'm speaking based on my world's history! On multiple occasions, my kind murdered its kin for the sake of not understanding each other. They killed each other because they were afraid. Females burned at stakes because they knew about healing. Different cultures clashed resulting in war," I reasoned desperately. "Please, I don't want that!" I begged while pressing my head against the bars.
"Dramatic male, got it," Gleaming mocked. "I'll see you in about two days. We should have an answer on what to do with you by then."
I am fucked. I am fucked. I fucked up and now I'm fucked. Lab rat until the end of my days it is. I mused while falling on my behind. Stretching my legs, I got to stare at my feet for a couple of seconds. It doesn't hurt. There is no stench. And there is no sign of spreading. The nails seem harder than they should be. My toes also seem compressed. Almost as if they are devolving into my feet. This is certainly strange and concerning. What did I do to deserve-wait! The pendant where-oh? It's here. Why didn't they get it? Nevermind, it is safe and that's what matters right now.
At that point, I reached a degree of desperation that cannot be quantified. Falling on my back, I stared at the ceiling. I spent at least twenty minutes looking at the rocks on the ceiling. Analyzing their shape, searching for patterns, making figures out of the shadows they cast, and counting them was all I managed to come up with.
Two days of waiting. What am I supposed to do until then? God damn it. I'm not good at the waiting game! I. NEED. TO. DO. SOMETHING.
"Can somebody save me? " I muttered while mimicking the opening to an old show a relative used to watch. Slowly closing my eyes, I felt drowsiness take over again.
I've been sleeping a lot since I got here. I. Wonder. Why?
"You're saying that these moving pictures tell a story with a character with the same name as me?" Celestia asked while looking at the logo for My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. The show had been completed for about two or three years now. It made quite the success, and there were sequels and some other things made out of it.
"Yep. I can't say I ever watched it. But I did see some comics and other random things on the internet about it. Regarding you, there were a lot of pictures of cakes," I replied while lazily lying on the couch. "Handling the horses drains me. Riding them is fun, but the other chores to keep them healthy are a drag," I said thoughtlessly.
Little did I know that I had just used a dirty slang from Celestia's world in that phrase. And I was about to deal with the fallout. Feeling the weight of something landing on my stomach, I looked down and saw Celestia with cheeks red as tomatoes. There was a distinct expression of disgust and shame plastered on her face.
"Y-you did what to the horses?" Celestia asked with her voice going all over the place.
"I rode them," I replied without much concern. "I placed a saddle, reigns, and then rode them," I elaborated while scratching my brain at the growing reaction the princess gave me.
"Y-You FIEND!" She yelled while getting close to my face. Fuming with every breath, Celestia had a half-grin combined with gritting teeth. "How dare you make those poor creatures so powerless while you defile them?!! Forcing them to submit to you while using devices to hinder their rebuttal! Y-you are despicable!"
Defile? What the fuck is going on?
"What is wrong with me riding them? It's only for a couple of hours. It makes for some good exercise. And they need it," I replied with blessed ignorance. The look on Celestia's face worsened as horror and awe took over her expression.
"H-hours? Y-you, ride them, for hours? What kind of monster are you?!" She asked while practically pushing her face against mine. "You torture them for hours?! What kind of monster have I been sharing a roof with?"
"Now you're being rude again," I replied while pushing her away. "I don't torture them. They all seem very pleased when I'm done with them thank you very much," I shot back with confidence. I was pretty good at handling the horses since I practically grew with them. So, riding one wasn't an unfamiliar subject for me.
"Do not brag about the sexual exploits you achieved, you lust-driven domination-obsessed enemy of mares!" I will admit, the sexual bit went over my head as I dealt with the insults.
"Enemy of mares?! I ride stallions and mares alike! I handle both very well and they are not mistreated while in my hands!" I shot back with pride. "And all of them are safely returned to the stables where they are neatly tied up to rest. Do not take me for a handler that leaves them in the cold!"
"T-t-tied up? You restrain them?!" Celestia shot back as her grin/gritting teeth worsened. "You are a sexual deviant that needs to be stopped! Leave those poor creatures be! Direct your frustrations and desires into another!"
At that point, something clicked in my head. Sexual deviant, what is she talking about? Wait. No. NO-NO-NO-NO! CANCEL! RETURN TIME! HELP! I MADE A BIG OOF! HEEEEEELP!
That was when I realized the signs Celestia had shown. Increased irritability, the unusual approach of the opposite gender, moving tail, and some other details. This includes the difference in the way she was looking at me, the tone she was using to speak, something making my shoes go wet, and some other things that I rather not mention. Holy shit, she is in heat and I am the only one interacting with her now. NOPE! Change her name to Molestia because she is looking at me like a predator!
Feeling the cold sweat run down my back, I slowly moved my hands to reach Celestia's sides. I then shoved her to the side before running to my room like a madman.
"I WILL NOT BE MOLESTED BY A PONY!!!!!" I let out this brave battle-cry while rushing to my room and then bracing the door.
I hid in my room for three hours before things calmed down.
Suddenly opening my eyes, I felt something unusual. I looked down and realized that the memory I had just recalled had some, effects on me. I guess that if I turn into some random creature I-NO! Wake me up! Wake me up inside! I am not a monster! I don't feel it deep within! It is not beneath the skin! I am a person! I'm only human! Wake up! Get up! Go do something!
After getting on my feet, I started to run around in circles. There weren't many things inside the cell aside from the toilet, a bed, and a sink. Meaning I had nothing to do while waiting there. Sleeping wasn't an option in the middle of the day. I would end up without being able to sleep at night. There weren't any objects left behind in the cell. All I had was the pendant and my clothes.
Sitting on my bed, I decided to mess around with the pendant. Is this a locket? Or just a pendant? I can't see a locking mechanism. Well, even if it had one, I doubt someone without magic or that knew the way to open it would be able to open it. Although, everything else is silver, could it be? Nah. That would be kinda stupid. It's way too obvious to be that. Unless that was the intention.
Letting out a sigh, I held the pendant with my right hand while my left index finger pushed the small sapphire. There was a small click sound before the pendant opening. Small light rays came from the pendant's surface, creating an image of two alicorns chasing each other with the night and day beneath them. It reminded me of the ying-yang representation from back home. A winding sound began to occur before the image started to rotate slowly.
"Sun and moon, Day and night, All a part of the cycle of light.
Peace and joy, Laughter in the voice of the kind, Honest mistakes, Generous aid, The world has found Harmony in two sisters at a young age.
Loyal and kind, Honest and bright, The moon bathed the pony peacefully in light.
The laughter that brought joy, The generosity that warmed the heart, The sun showered the world in delight.
Five together, A sixth was found, The magic they brought would save lives, For no greater power could ever be found.
So, rest easy now, Mother is here, Remember the ones you care and live here, The world that needs you is right here, Never forget who you are, For the light you two bring will shine ever so bright."
Huh, this sounds more like a prophecy than a lullaby. I guess one of the two took the message to heart. Celestia did say it was Luna that made the pendant. I guess she wanted to make sure both of them had a reminder of the message in the song? I mused while staring at the image in the pendant before it disappeared. I better tell Tia about this when we meet again. If we meet again. God damn it. What am I supposed to do for the next two days?
"Chow time," A familiar voice called out while a bowl of salad was pushed into my cell. "Were you singing just now?"
"Nope," I replied while reaching for the bowl. "If I were singing, you would have come to shut me up or to ask if I was dying."
"Is that so?" Gleaming replied while leaning on the bars. "Then the pendant did that. Is it important?"
Answer yes, but don't tell to whom. Don't give them a reason to suspect you more than they do.
"Yes. It is," I replied bluntly before shoving salad into my mouth. The leaves were weird and it tasted sour. The carrots felt old. And the tomatoes felt mushy. Prison food. NOICE.
"Huh, you ate it all. I guess I'm not that bad then," Gleaming muttered as I placed the bowl near the bars. "How did it taste?"
"Like prison food," I replied while sitting back on my bed. "At least what I think prison food tastes like," I corrected while leaning back towards the wall.
"At least I made something edible," Gleaming grumbled while lifting the bowl. "Take that Princess, I know more than training drills." She said with a bit more confidence.
"So it seems," A third voice called out in the room. "Considering he didn't rush to the toilet. You made outstanding progress," That was a voice I was somewhat familiar with. The third princess to be introduced to the show.
Cadance? Well, she was Twilight's caretaker so, I guess it makes sense for her to be around.
"So, is this the one captured by the station?" Princess Cadance asked while coming into the room. "The dramatic one?"
"That's the one," Gleaming replied with a frown. "Your thoughts?"
Stepping closer to the cell, Cadance revealed her size. She was at least one head taller than Gleaming, who was a few inches taller than me. Holy shit. Cadance was shorter than Celestia in the show. How tall is this world's Celestia? Her eyes were locked on my face for a few seconds before she averted the gaze towards the pendant.
"How important is that pendant to you?" She asked while keeping her eyes on the pendant I proceeded to put back on with haste. "Very important. What would you do if I took it from you?" Reflexively placing my hand over the accessory, I turned away from her. "Interesting. That thing you hold so dear, it has a familiar feeling to it. Something that hasn't faded yet."
Looking over my shoulder, I caught a glimpse of Cadance whispering something to Gleaming before leaving. I stared at them for a few seconds, watching Gleaming raise an eyebrow at me with a look of confusion. Whatever it was that Cadance told her, it didn't seem like good news.
And it's just my first day. Hooray! I am lucky! Two more to go!
"I should bash my head against a wall and get myself into a hospital. That should give me a chance to escape. And give me head trauma," I mumbled before a faint memory came to me of hound barking inside a hospital at some point in the show. "You know what? I'll just stare at the ceiling," I grumbled while assuming my position.
My great escapade into Equestria and then back home fell into pieces because I am a jackass. I guess it is fair. FUCK YOU KARMA!
Sitting by the table, I drank a glass of grape juice while waiting for dinner to be served. If things went as they were supposed to, Cadance would arrive just before the dishes came out. It took a few moments, but Cadance came in from the main hall. The suit of armor I had prepared for her donned and polished to perfection.
I bet she put it on just to meet me. Why does she act like that in front of me? Can't she be her usual self around me?
"Good Evening, Celestia," Cadance said while taking her place on the opposite side of the table. "As usual, I have my report on my activities."
"I assume everything went well," I said while placing down the glass.
"Dinner is served," My chef, Gustav, said as our maids entered the room with the dishes.
"You shouldn't expect anything less from me," Cadance replied while waiting for the food to be placed on the table. "I won seven out of seven sparring matches before heading out to my post with Lieutenant Gleaming Shield. Then, I aided in the interrogation of a strange creature that was captured at the train station," The last bit of information about a strange creature made me raise an eyebrow.
Oh, perhaps the changelings infiltrate this early on? I mused while picking up the fruit salad in front of me. I ate a piece of it before Cadance continued her report.
"The creature called itself a human. And based on what I heard, it kept insisting on heading back home," Choking on my food, I ended up coughing out a piece of apple before taking a sip of water. "Are you unwell, Celestia?" Cadance asked with concern.
Human? There was never any mentions to humans in the show. No, it has to be a changeling. Better confirm this.
"I-I'm sorry," I said while trying to recompose myself. "You said human? Are you sure about that?"
"Yes, I am sure of it," Cadance said with confidence. "They were very adamant about the urgency of their return. They even threatened Gleaming with how his kind would wage war if they found their way into here."
Changelings are very aggressive about their tactics until Thorax came into play. I guess I was right on the money. I just need a description to seal the deal.
"That is a very bold move," I said with a bit more confidence. "What did they look like?"
"Well, their skin was beige for starters. They had barely any fur on their body. They had dark brown hair just like their eyes. There was some fur of the same color growing on their chin."
That sounds familiar. I mused while taking another bite on the food.
"They were very dramatic. And it was a bit uncanny how they matched some of the descriptions the historians made of humans. Save for one bit," I perked my ears at that remark. "Their hooves. They didn't look like hooves. It had short stubby fingers. But they were different from the rest of the body as well. They had black bits on the end of their fingers and there was some cream-colored fur growing on it. It felt off."
Ah, a defective changeling. That is a stroke of good luck. However, that description does sound a bit like a human. That sort of information shouldn't be anywhere near the badlands. I think I should investigate this myself. Tomorrow morning I have a meeting with the griffons. Knowing their kind, it will take an entire day. I need to go on the day after.
"Cadance, would you be so kind as to inform Gleaming Shield that no one is to approach the prisoner?" I requested it while using a napkin. "I believe I should have a word with them. And that conversation will probably happen after tomorrow."
Seeing their plan fall apart before it even begins. I wonder how their queen will take it.
The morning came, not without its bumps during the night. The sudden mention of humans and the idea of the changelings somehow having access to our historians' records worried me. Not to mention the sudden nostalgia and bittersweet memories that those topics brought to light. But I had to work and make sure things went according to plan. After getting up, I put on my best dress and gave a few orders to prepare for the griffon's visit.
The meeting would be held in the conference room near the south wing of the castle. I wanted to get that meeting over with and sign the treaty as fast as possible. I couldn't risk the changeling pulling a charm on Gleaming Shield. Especially by taking into account what happens during her wedding with Cadance. If I could avoid the damage they caused to the castle, I could avoid unnecessary and exorbitant expenses, and that was a win in my record.
The lack of information on those creatures was disconcerting at the very least. I asked my guards during previous confrontations to capture a changeling, however, as soon as we managed to get a hold of them, they proceeded to fall dead. Almost as if they could die on command. In any case, the changeling matters would need to wait until I had my conversation with Talon.
Entering the conference room, a voice greeted me. "Very typical of ponies. Appearing at their leisure, back in the griffon kingdom, punctuality is a virtue shared by all."
"As well as greed and sinful pride," I retorted while taking my place in front of the King. "Now, as I recall, this conference was supposed to be held in twenty minutes. You're the one being rude and appearing before the appointed time," I continued while gesturing the maid to bring the food. "Therefore, I request that you refrain from making such impertinent comments."
"As sharp as ever, I see," Talon replied while taking the cup of tea. Seeing his hand quietly move his golden spoon, I chuckled.
"Still trying to steal from my castle?" I inquired, making him push the spoon back into its place. "Please, let us start this meeting before you do anything reckless."
"As if you pose a threat to me," He said pridefully puffing his chest and making sure I saw his build. "You and your precious ponies should be more mindful when speaking to-" Interrupting Talon's speech, the doors for the room opened. Seven guards walked in while escorting a golden goblet that depicted a griffon's talon with rubies etched on to it.
"I believe this belongs to you," I commented while taking a sip of tea. "I simply love this chamomile."
"H-how did you?" He asked before a fire lit up in his eyes along with a sinister grin. Getting up in a sudden movement, Talon slammed his hand on the table before moving closer to me. "So, you're the one that-?!"
Stopping him on his tracks, I held two forks dangerously close to his eyes while pointing a sharp knife at his throat. "This is a peace meeting, do refrain from resorting to violence. And before you even try to accuse me. I legally sent a search party to your lands, paid for the guides and materials, and retrieved this artifact. Once it was safely in my possession, I had it repaired and restored to its former glory. According to the law until it is returned to its land by an official messenger any artifacts within foreign borders belong to rulers of that nation. Attacking me or any citizen of Equestria in an attempt to retrieve this goblet is a declaration of war, therefore, please, be mindful of your next actions. Or perhaps, do you wish to face me?"
Talon replied with a negative nod before returning to his seat.
Releasing my magic, I dropped both forks before standing to eye level with Talon. "I believe my advisor can handle things from here. I have other business to attend to. Please, enjoy your visit," I said while using a napkin to clean any traces of the tea. I headed to the door and before exiting I heard Talon speak once more.
"You should be a Griffon Queen. It's more adequate to that fierce attitude of yours," He said in a strange tone.
"Have a good day, Your Highness," I replied while leaving the room.
"You're telling me that in this story, the villain that led twelve henchmen with insane powers AND an army of mindless soldiers, got beaten by three teens, a dog, a duck, and a rat?" Gleaming asked while sitting in front of my cell.
"With swords shaped like keys, yes," I replied while grinning at her reaction. "The showdown was epic. A huge white room with just the hero and his best friend against the main villain and his body doubles. Energy beams being fired left and right as the two teens deflected all of them at an insane speed. Then the villain almost killed the hero, but the friend pushed the hero away and receiving the attack. The hero took his friend's sword and dual-wielding them laid waste to the villain. And then-?!"
Bursting the door open loudly, Cadance rushed into the room and started to tidy up her mane and adjust her armor before rushing to do the same with Gleaming's equipment.
"Cadance, what gives?" Gleaming asked while watching Cadance use her magic to clean up the table by organizing the files and making it look as professional as possible.
"Princess Celestia finished her meeting with the Griffons before I expected! I have to clean everything up before she gets here!" She explained while handling the organization of the files and their positioning on the table as if she had OCD.
Huh, is she afraid of Celestia in this world? I mused while watching Cadance stress over the rest of the table's contents with a ruler. Nope. That looks like she is trying to impress her.
"Good morning, my niece, Gleaming Shield," A voice said from the door, causing both of them to stand at attention and salute it. "So where is this-?!"
Watching in confusion, I tilted my head at this world's Princess Celestia. Holy, she is a GIANT. What did I walk into?! It's ok! Don't piss her off and you'll be fine.
Pushing my forehead against the ground, I waited for Celestia to speak or permit me to do so. However, all I heard was the sound of sobbing and something falling to the ground.
"Princess?!" I heard Gleaming ask while the sound of hooves took over the room.
"What did you do?!" I heard Cadance ask as I was suddenly pulled towards the bars. "Tell me!"
"I didn't do anything!" I said while trying to figure out what was going on. My eyes moved over to Celestia and Gleaming, and as soon as they did, I felt a crushing pain in my chest. It was a familiar pain, the same pain I felt when I thought of the Celestia I met crying. Flipping a switch on the back of my head, I made a dangerous leap in logic. "No way," I muttered while staring at Celestia. "Is that you, Tia?"
Widening her eyes, Celestia got up and rushed the cell's door removing it from its frame. Cadance let me go while backing up from the cell. I fell to the ground with a heavy thud before Celestia crawled closer to me dirtying her cyan dress. Her eyes scanned every inch of my face as a smile formed on her face. Then she looked down and saw the pendant that came out when Cadance pulled me against the bars. Her eyes filled up with tears as a wide smile took over her face.
"Y-you're here," She said in between sobs. "Caleb, y-you're here," She continued while hesitantly trying to reach my face with her hand.
Oh, NO! She, she looks like. And I liked her when she looked like. OH, GOD! I thought it would be weird being here if everyone was naked, but this?! OH, NO! SHE IS HOT! I thought while mindlessly nodding positively.
"Surprise! I came! Hehe," I said in an awkward tone while forcing a smile.
"B-but, I went back. You died the year I left! I saw your tombstone!" Celestia said while sitting on the floor.
"I, well, recreated your portal?" I replied sheepishly while scratching the back of my neck. "Using the pictures I took," I explained while looking at her more attentively. "Hey, you died your mane! And made it wave, without wind. You also look, tired."
Staring at me with a confused look, Celestia shook her head sideways before speaking. "You recreated my dimensional doorway? Impossible," She said while staring at me. "If you had, you would have appeared four minutes later at Starswirl's lab!"
"I did land on the castle of the two sisters, the ruins, that is," I replied while rubbing the area I landed on.
"Caleb, I last saw you over two thousand years ago!" She replied getting closer to me and accidentally bumping into my leg. "Y-you're real," She said as her eyes watered up again. "I'm not dreaming!" She exclaimed while tackling me on the ground, nearly crushing me in the process.
TWO THOUSAND YEARS!!!!!????? I thought as I felt my body being crushed by a princess that was falling apart in tears. What did I do?
Author's Note
HERE WE GO!!! Stuff happens all the time! Hope you enjoy it. Please let me know what you think!!
"Did you hear?" I asked Silk Thread as we prepared the dining room.
"Did I hear what, Silver Thrill?" She replied while placing the plates on the table.
"Princess Celestia signed a treaty with the griffons! And she did it in a matter of minutes!" I squealed while selecting and polishing the silverware.
"No way! I heard griffons were way too stubborn. I don't think they would even consider that!" She said while I made sure things were just right. "How did she pull that off!?"
"I don't know, but it isn't surprising. Look at all Celestia has accomplished by herself! And this one is more of a gossip, but I hear the griffon King Talon flirted with her, in a way," I replied with a giggle. "But I would give up if I were him."
"Agreed, there isn't a single record of the Princess ever showing any interest in any male, ever! There are some rumors that she might be into mares," Silk said while looking a bit dreamy. "I hope that one is true."
"If it is, I doubt any of us would be her cup of tea," I replied with a sigh. "My bits are on that star student of hers. Speaking of which, is she the extra guest for today? This room is for special guests, isn't it?"
"I don't know. Gold Platter told us to prepare this room. That's all I know," She replied while folding the napkins and placing them on the table. "Oh! Maybe Prince Blueblood is coming by for a visit! That's another dream of a pony," She said while almost drooling at the mere thought of him.
"You want a royal in your life badly, don't you?" I asked while chuckling.
"But, are you sure he won't mind that you lent me these, Tia? I-I mean, Princess Celestia!" A male-sounding voice said from behind the door.
Rushing our duties, Silk and me assumed our positions by the side doors. The room's doors opened, and a strange-looking creature walked in dressed in Prince Blueblood's old attire. A bright blue suit with a long tail and golden threads, a dark blue shirt, and blue pants match the jacket. He looked a bit awkward as he kept checking his clothes.
"Nonsense! He won't mind at all! And please, call me Tia as much as you want!" Princess Celestia said as she accompanied him with a smile I had never seen before. "I will not allow a protocol to get in the way of our conversation!"
"Would you mind telling that to all of your staff? Because they all had their jaws on the floor on our way here. I guess that you circling me isn't something they expected," The stallion said as Celestia leaned over to adjust the bowtie on the creature's neck. "Seriously, I'm fine! I can tie this myself!"
"I know you can! But I want to do it!" She replied with a pout and stomped her hoof like a child. "You did a lot for me. And I have a chance to repay that! I will not let this chance fly by me!"
"You're acting like a child again!" The male replied with conviction. "I thought you moved beyond that!" He SCOLDED.
"Well, let me be a child for once! I've been a Princess twenty-four-seven ever since I came back!" She replied with a scowl.
Looking over to Silk, I gave her a look that meant: "You can see that too, right?" To which she replied with a nod. Bracing myself, I closed my eyes and waited for the sound of that creature getting slapped in its place.
"Pffft," I heard before the sound of laughter exploded in the room. "Good to see you haven't changed a bit!" The male exclaimed while Celestia laughed loudly.
"Oh! But I did change! I'm just the same around you! That's all!" She replied while pulling the creature into a hug. "Now, come! It's time to eat!"
"Good! The last thing I ate was prison food."
WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR PRINCESS?! I screamed while keeping my composure on the outside.
After we laughed a bit, I decided to sit on the opposite side of the table. However, Celestia had other plans.
"What are you doing over there, Caleb?" She asked while using her magic o pull a chair for me by her right side. "This is your seat. Come on!" She said with a cheerful smile.
"Ok," I muttered while moving to my assigned seat. After I sat down, we stood there in silence for a few moments. Staring at me, Celestia kept a huge smile on her face while almost humming a song.
This is getting awkward. Celestia hasn't seen me for at least two thousand years. But to me, it's been, like, five or six days. And it's getting hard to look at her! I mused while staring at my reflection on the plate before me as well as my image on the silverware.
"So," I said with a weak voice. "Shining Armor is Gleaming Shield in this world."
"Not only him, but Big Mac is also Red Galla," Celestia replied with her ears perked up. "I also prevented the Crystal empire from being dragged into the shadows with Sombra," She said pridefully.
"Oh, is that so?" I asked before something clicked in the back of my mind. "YOU DID WHAT?!" I asked while getting up.
"I defeated Sombra and made sure the Crystal Empire didn't get dragged into the void. And placed my nephew, Prince Blueblood on the throne as the overseer," Celestia replied non-chantilly. "What?"
"What? Are you serious?! You saw Back to The Future! And you're telling me you altered EVERYTHING?!" I asked in disbelief.
"Yes, I altered things to bring the best outcome in everything. Except for one outcome," Celestia replied with a confused look on her face. "Why? Is something wrong with that?"
I deadpanned at her response. My legs dropped me on my seat as I try to wrap my head around the mistake I made. WHY DID I LET HER WATCH THE SHOW!? THAT WAS A HUGE MISTAKE!
"Celestia, what else did you change?" I asked while looking at my plate.
"A lot of things, actually," She replied while making a gesture to the maids in the back of the room. "But we can get over those once we finish with dinner. I think we'll need a private room for that."
Glancing over my shoulder, I saw the despaired and confused looks of the maids as they seemed to be in a state of pure shock before the scene I just caused. It seemed that I was the one being rude this time around. Sitting back down, I felt my ears burn up as embarrassment forced me to hang my head low. That was when something caught my nose. A strong scent that made my stomach swirl in agony as I tried to hold the urge to vomit. I don't recall the last time I felt a stench so foul that I wanted to vomit.
"Caleb? Are you ok?" Celestia asked with a concerned voice as I tried not to vomit on the table.
Waving my hand at her, I pointed at my stomach. I pleaded for her to understand the sounds that I was making. Luckily, she seemed to understand quite quickly my predicament. A bucket appeared before me. I picked it up and began to throw up as Celestia got up and started fussing at my condition. I could barely hear her over the sound of my guts spilling into a bucket. Suddenly the smell disappeared, which caused my urge to vomit to decrease.
Feeling nauseated, I tried to raise my head and look at Celestia.
"What did you put on the food, Gustav?!" She yelled while a griffon dressed like a chef almost pissed himself.
"I just prepared the steak as instructed! I swear, Princess!" He replied while trying not to cry.
"Hey, Tia, what did you do?" I asked as I regained my composure.
"I asked the chef to make a steak for you. However, it would seem he messed up something on the recipe," She replied with a scowl.
Wait, I stopped vomiting after the steak was gone? Don't tell me that. Back in the library, I read the Equestrian language. And my feet have been replaced with hooves. Maybe, just maybe.
"Excuse me, Gustav, was it?" I asked. The griffon replied with a nod. "Can you bring me a piece of raw meat? Any meat will do."
"Caleb, what are you on about?" Celestia asked while I got up.
"Trust me on this one, Tia," I replied as Gustav ran to the kitchen and came back as if his life depended on it.
I couldn't smell the meat until I held it close to my nose. As soon as I felt its scent, my body instantly reacted, and I rushed to the bucket and dropped the meat in the process.
"You know," I said after the urge died down. "I've been changing little by little. My stomach might have become meat intolerant. Or rather, my body came to hate meat with a passion."
Soon after we made amends with the chef, we dined some rather tasty salad. I swear that I never ate greens that had such a delightful taste. It wasn't from seasoning, of that I'm sure. It felt like my tongue was perceiving the tastes differently. Even the spiciness of the peppers felt was different. I could eat spicy food, but this time, it felt like my tongue was on fire.
Delivering the plates to the servants, Celestia led me back to a more private room. The cozy setup and color made it feel like a room for special guests. Guests to whom Celestia could be more open. However, the condition of the room made it look like no one used it. Pristine-looking glasses, chairs, curtains, and a clean fireplace reinforced that idea.
I thought that the Princess would have more visits for a room like this. Especially someone as well-beloved as Celestia. I mused while taking a seat on the chair in front of Celestia.
"So, I guess we should talk?" I said while glancing around the room. "Um, how have things been?"
"Oh, enough with talk like that. I think we have plenty to talk about," Celestia said with a smirk while summoning a tea set with her magic. Pouring the drink into my cup, she added a few cubes of sugar before taking one for herself. "Especially in regards to the door you used to get here and the whole thing happening down there," She said while pointing to my legs.
"Wait, you know what's happening?" I asked while tilting my head.
"I can't be certain," She said before taking a sip of tea she had poured beforehand. "Delightful. Anyway, I have a theory on that. However, since you cast magic in a world with almost no mana, it might fall flat."
"I'm all ears. I have no idea as to what is happening besides the obvious "turning into a pony" part," I replied before taking a sip of the tea.
"Well, for starters, there are a few things I should clarify," Celestia said before making the cup float. "First, my spell was defective. As much as I hate to admit it, I rushed some steps and caused the error to occur."
"That's progress," I said with a smirk as Celestia rolled her eyes at me.
"The spell was supposed to send me to another world and hide my appearance in a form considered mundane in said world. However, as you may recall, I appeared as a regular pony before you, albeit taller and with my other appendages," Celestia said while pouring more tea.
"Why fancy words?" I muttered under my breath as she continued with her classy act.
"And as I mentioned before, you appear to have traveled two thousand years in the future. That means you caused an even greater mess with my defective spell," Celestia said before taking another sip. "As you can surely guess, that door is not a simple spell. It's dimensional magic. However, it also has a touch of time magic as well. That is why the years we spent together were mere minutes here," Celestia explained while crossing her legs.
"Ok. Then, when I jumped into the future, and the whole interdimensional thingie, I messed up some part of the spell?" I asked while putting down the cup half full.
"More than that. A spell that travels through time is too unstable. It can only sustain a pony in another time for about thirty to forty seconds. And it is a spell that jumps to the past. Gates to the future were never stable enough for anyone to use. Some theorized that our mana was too much to create a stable path back and forward in time," Celestia lectured while leaning back on her chair.
"Wait, I remember you mentioning that you had to rest to regain your power in my world," I intervened while leaning forward. "Does that have to do with how much mana there was in there?"
"You are correct, nicely done," Celestia replied like a proud teacher. "The mana levels in your world were low to an extreme. Therefore, I had to reduce my magic consumption before making another jump. I guess that you messing around with the runes caused a tweak in the magic spell, leading you to the future instead. And the low mana led to a bridge stable enough for you to remain here. However, this also could have caused your transformation to happen out of order and at a slower pace."
"Is that a fact or conjunction?" I asked with a tilt of my head. Celestia frowned at me as a response. "Right, unknown magic."
Still, I could have died. How in the world did I get away with that? Am I blessed with luck? Or is it just some bad luck in disguise? I thought while leaning back on my chair. The entire situation was odd. I was glad to be back with Celestia, but the problem I seemed to get myself tangled with was wild, and that's putting it lightly.
In any case, time was passing; and for now, my legs and some of my organs were the only parts of my body that seemed to have changed.
I could barely contain my excitement! Caleb was here, in the flesh! After our little conversation about the changes he was going through (which has me intrigued about how long it will take for him to turn completely), I lead him to a room he could use to spend the night. It was the room closest to my tower.
"You can use this room. It's been vacant for quite some time," I explained while showing Caleb the inside of the room. "It's the closest to my own. If you ever need or want to speak with me, you may come at any time, for anything," I added before turning my back to Caleb.
"Wait," He asked while taking my hand. "I think you should have this back. It's the main reason I came after all," He added while placing my pendant in my right hand.
Staring at the silver accessory, I recalled our first meeting. I was extremely unpleasant back then. Because of that meeting, I changed; I learned about things that could harm our kingdom. But I still failed you, Luna. If I had this back then, would I've been able to save you? I pondered while feeling a tear roll down my face. I've changed many things and faced many battles that ended up in victory. But it seems I'm still a sore loser.
"You'll get her back," Caleb said while closing my hand. "We both know that we can save Luna. And she will be saved. So hold on to this. And show it to her when she is back. Tell her everything you need to tell them. And then, hug her with all you have," He added while letting go of my hand.
That was when I cracked. I couldn't hold it in and did something stupid. Holding the pendant tightly, I leaned closer to Caleb and then kissed him on the cheek. I then proceeded to run as fast as I could towards my room and then jumped on my bed. Hugging my pillows, I started tolling around my bed with my cheeks on fire. What was I thinking?! That was insane! I mean, it's not like back then. I'm not that bold anymore. Argh! I can't do things like that anymore! Is this backlash from the time I spent alone and focusing on my duties?? How do I fix this?!
I then proceeded to experience the weirdest dream I ever had in ages. And Caleb was a central part of it. He and I were back in his home. I was in my regular form. And as for Caleb, he was different from the waist down. He had changed into a pony. But as for the rest, he was the same as always. And then, well, I'll leave it at I had to change my sheets in the morning. I do not dare to write down the events that took place there. And it will remain my little secret.
She kissed me on the cheek. And she ran away in panic. She KISSED my cheek and ran. She is fawning over me, and I am currently being sheltered by her as if I'm here to stay. Shit. I can't leave. I will never pull that mess of a portal again. And I'm already turning into a pony. Or some form of a pony. WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO BE SO BEAUTIFUL!?? I screamed in my head while standing by the door after Celestia left.
I had never considered the idea of living in a castle. Let alone receiving what I could only assume to be VIP treatment based on the reactions and things they gave us. The room behind me looked larger than my room and my living room combined. And those were of considerable size.
What was I supposed to do? Celestia seemed to want me around permanently. I hadn't considered the one-way tripped as a fixed possibility. And, judging by Tia's reaction, the portal thingie could only send me to a time where I am already dead. So, there were two possibilities: one, I come back and have to earn everything that I lost by following legal procedures and live broke for a while; two, I die upon arrival and turn into dust. But, of course, those options were there if I went back. If I stay, I get to live with a princess in a magical land and probably have a decent life here.
Who am I kidding? I can't leech off Tia like that. I will probably try to find some way to help. WHAT CAN I EVEN DO?! She is a fucking deity that controls the sun and moon! She can fly, she can fire beams out of her horn, and she can kill me with a flick of her wrist. Me? I, I snuck into a train. Argh, I'm useless here.
And with those positive thoughts, I went on to sleep. Carried away into a fucked up state in which I kept tossing and turning as I attempted to feel comfortable in a humongous bed. I woke up the following morning in the glorified position of my head hanging from the bedside with my legs tangled on sheets. At least, I thought it was morning. However, the Moon outside my window convinced me otherwise.
Am I THAT restless? I mused while untangling my legs and sitting up. That was when I realized my legs had completely changed into pony legs, and my waist had begun to change as well. Once I was on my hooves, I glanced at the wall clock and came to a realization. I went to sleep at twenty-two o'clock. It's seven o'clock now. Why is it nighttime?
Peeking out the door, I noticed that the staff were running around in a blind panic as they screamed about the end of the world. I think I saw two or three ponies just make dramatic poses before collapsing on the floor with a distressed look on their faces. Talk about selling the act. I mused before returning to my room and putting on some old clothes from Tia's nephew.
And when I was down with that, I realized what was wrong. Wait. TIA IS THE ONE THAT CONTROLS THE SUN AND THE MOON!!!! I screamed while facepalming. Rushing out of my room, I ran to the end of the hallway, where two guards were shaking on their hooves as Shining and Cadance yelled at them.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN CELESTIA SAID ONLY ONE PONY COULD CLIMB UP HER TOWER?!!! I AM HER NIECE!!!!" Cadance screamed at one of the guards that seemed to turn white. And considering he was dark gray, that was a feat.
"T-Those were her o-orders," The guard meekly refuted while trying their best not to cry.
"Then who is the one allowed to climb the tower?!" Gleaming (I apologize, it was a reflex) shouted at the other guard that seemed to be one step away from passing out.
"What is going on?" I blurted before covering my mouth and recoiling.
"H-him," The guard about to pass out muttered while pointing at me.
Gleaming and Cadance looked at each other and then back at me. I felt as if Cadance wanted to gut me at that moment, while Gleaming seemed amused at the concept of me receiving special treatment. Probably because of the contrast between being a prisoner and then a VIP guest in the castle. I can't blame her. When I thought I was about to meet my end, the last thing I thought could happen was the current situation.
Back to the record, I, in response to the new information, looked over my shoulder to see if there was someone else besides me in the guard's line of sight. Nope. I was the only one.
"What spell did you cast on my aunt to bewitch her like that?!" Cadance asked while glaring daggers at me.
"If I could use magic properly, I wouldn't be here," I replied while dropping my shoulders.
"Then how do you explain her behavior?! Over a thousand years of perfect devotion to all of her duties. You appear, and she suddenly oversleeps. Moreover, she only allows YOU to enter her room. You're even wearing her nephew's clothes!" Cadance blurted while poking me with her finger.
"How should I know?! I spent the entire night tossing around on my bed! I'll just go in and wake her up. It wouldn't be the first time," I replied while pushing her to the side and entering the tower. Cadance tried to follow, but a wall seemed to block her path.
She is so going to kill me. I concluded while climbing up the steps. Strangely enough, it took less time than I thought to reach the top of the tower. There was no door leading inside, only an arch and then her room. I carefully poked my head out of the arch's edge. I saw the neatly decorated room. The view from up here must be awe-inspiring. I concluded after my eyes drifted over the balcony.
A quick scan of the room allowed me to find Celestia sleeping soundly on the bed. Silently approaching her, I positioned myself behind her to use the usual method. Reaching forth with my right hand, I gently started to scratch the base of her right ear. Celestia's leg began to twitch for a bit before she shook her head. And then, turned around to glare at me.
"It still works," I said with a smile as she pouted at me.
"Be grateful you're the one that did that. If anyone else did that to me, the poor soul would be out like a candle in the wind," Tia said while turning around and looking underneath her sheets. Suddenly, she turned red and looked back at me.
Before I had a chance to do anything, Celestia's horn flared, and everything went dark. I was conscious, but I couldn't see anything around me, let alone hear. It took a few minutes, but I got my senses back. She stood on the opposite side of the bed while wearing a different outfit. Her regalia was on as well as the necklace I had made for her. She had also assimilated a tomato as her face was the same color as one. Glancing at the bed, I realized the sheets were different from when I entered the place.
"I won't ask why you changed, just, why did you hide it? You entered the shower with me inside," I said while looking blankly at Celestia, who kept shifting in place.
"I have my reasons," Celestia said with a pout.
"Fine. Can you tell your niece not to strangle me? Because she looks like she is about to do it," I said while crossing my arms.
"Why would she do that?" Celestia asked before her ears perked up. "Oh. I didn't raise the sun in time and told the guards not to let anyone except for you in my room. Right."
"Yep. Now, I'm going to look at a mirror to see if anything else changed overnight," I said while starting to walk to the big mirror near Celestia.
"No need. You have pony ears now," Celestia said with a grin as I dropped my shoulders with a groan.
"Great. Awesome! I bet I look like one of those Neko thingies," I groaned in frustration. At that point, I wanted that transformation to change me in one go or return me to normal, the latter being the preferable result.
"Are you going to say "Nyah" to me?" Celestia said in a teasing tone as I replied with my tongue sticking out of my mouth.
"Can you do the sun thing? Everyone is freaking out downstairs," I asked while facepalming. "I think someone said that we reached doomsday," I added with a tone of concern.
"Sure, come with me. I can't wait to show you my talent at work!" Celestia replied while grabbing my arm and dragging me to the balcony. "Consider yourself honored, I only do this little show for crowds of ponies. You are getting a VIP seat!"
"Please, don't make the "oh-ho-ho-ho" laugh. Don't be a tsundere," I said while crossing my arms. Celestia replied with a smirk. "No." Her grin grew larger. "I said no, Tia," She slowly opened her mouth. "I swear if you do it. I'll make you regret it!" She took a deep breath. "NO!"
"Oh-ho-ho-ho! Lovely peasant! Do not misunderstand me! I do this so that you may gaze upon my glory! Not because I care for you!" She said with a forced regal tone.
I groaned inwardly while making my head fall backward. "I will get my revenge for this," I said without much concern.
"You will not touch a strand of her mane!" I heard from the door to the balcony. Cadance prepared an energy beam and seemed ready to fire. Only for Celestia to stand between me and the blast.
"You will not touch my friend, Cadenza," Celestia threatened as Cadance seemed to shrink in her posture and slowly backed away. "I missed these conversations. Talks where I didn't have to be regal. Talks where I could speak my mind freely without the need to worry about what they would think about me. I missed my friend and I won't let anyone bring them harm."
Dear god, I am so very screwed now. Living with a princess but with a rope around my neck because the other wants me dead.
I just figured out inter-dimensional travel through an anywhere door. I am a mad genius or just a stupid human with a serious mental problem. The later is more likely the one to hold. Congratulations, Caleb. You are officially stranded in the magical land of Equestria.
That mini-speech was mostly to calm me down. Landing on top of an old tower gave me both a heart attack and a vantage point. I could see the city of Canterlot in the distance. If the things I could recall held, that was where I could find Celestia. That, however, would need to wait. My arrival coincided with sundown. Meaning, that I had to set up camp as soon as possible and preferably somewhere I had cover from possible rain.
Luckily, the stairs down the tower were stable enough for me to reach the ground floor without any trouble. There a couple of sessions in the castle with a decent cover for me to set up camp. I picked the main hall. There were plenty of escape routes and burnable, dry material was hanging on the walls for me to use as fuel for the fire. I would probably be destroying a piece of history, but I was not about to head closer to vegetation inside that forest without the need to.
Using the carving knife, I sparked the fire using a piece of a destroyed tapestry I found on the floor. Then it was time for me to look around those stone walls for a bit. Based on what I could remember, that castle was a battleground for the creature known as Nightmare Moon. I think that she had some plot to cover the night in eternal darkness, or something along those lines.
I wish I had paid more attention to when I watched the show with Celestia.
Making a left turn, I saw another thing I could remember. A model of sorts, designed to hold six stone orbs within its pedestals. There was only one issue with it. There were seven pedestals instead of three, or was it six? Six main characters, six elements, that makes sense, right? In either case, there were one or four extras in the room. Then again, I was in the actual Equestria now. Meaning that things could be different, this wasn't a show or a dream, something that was made clear by the sore spot on my face.
These are supposed to be on the pedestals when those six ponies come by, I'm not here to fix anything, but I might as well put these back.
It was easier than I thought, placing them back that is. The stones were lighter than they seemed; the pedestals worked like magnets attracting the orbs once they were off the ground. With all of them on their respective spots, I began to hear howls coming from the distance. I may not have memorized the events of the show, but I recognized locations I found interesting. Meaning that I knew about the ravine surrounding these ruins, and how the only rope bridge connecting the ravine was out of commission.
That meant that there was no way out of that place. In addition to no way in. It was safe for me to camp, but not safe for me to stay. Regardless of how it looked now, that place would become another battleground once Nightmare was back. And considering I had no way of telling when I landed in the world timeline, my best option was to get to Canterlot as soon as possible.
Using the crackling of the flames, I made my way back while gathering sticks to put on the fire. There was plenty of vegetation taking over the ruins for me to use, so, why not use it? Sitting by the fire, I made sure the wood was piled up before setting the sticks to burn on the fire. Being somewhat used to camping, I managed to drift away in a matter of seconds after securing the fire.
Walking through the kitchen door, I headed towards the living room. I had a piece of a brownie in my hand missing a bite, a little present from one of the farm's workers as a welcome back gift. I had just finished my med school when my parents decided to dump on me the farm until they got back from their world-wide trip. A trip that according to their estimations, would take four to five years to complete. Talk about a scenic route.
That meant that I wouldn't be able to work on other things besides the farm if I wanted money. And that I had to abdicate any further studies on the medical field (in regards to attempting to specialize myself that is). It should be pretty obvious how I felt about this entire situation. Anyway, I went to the living room because of a loud noise that sounded like someone had tripped over something and ended up with their nogging against the ground.
You can probably imagine my surprise when I saw a winged unicorn grumbling on the floor, as she rubbed her hoof on her muzzle.
"Welp, I was pretty sure one of our employees was high on something. But I didn't expect them to have drugs on a pastry," I mumbled while looking at the half-eaten brownie. "The rest of it will go to the trash later."
"You! Strange-looking, thing. I demand that you tell me where I am," The pony said with a bratty voice. It sounded like one of those spoiled kids you would see in tv shows. The kind of kid that either stays a brat or becomes a decent person.
"Hallucinating with a talking horse. That is just super," I replied after swallowing the piece of brownie in my mouth. "You're inside my house. And try to be polite, you're a visitor here," I continued with an uninterested tone.
"You have a lot of nerve to speak to a Princess like that! Answer my question! Where in Equos am I?" The pony said with a commanding voice.
"First, not Equos. Second, I don't care about status. Third, stop ordering and start asking politely. You might have an easier time getting answers if you don't make others see you as a nuisance," I answered before realizing she had a shadow. Hallucinations can get pretty realistic depending on how your brain works.
"I succeeded! Starswirl and Luna will have to admit I am a good caster now!" The pony cheered as she got on her hooves. "This joyous occasion demands that I overlook your disrespectful behavior and celebrate my accomplishments! I require food."
"And I want my parents to go back home so I can continue my studies," I said before mindlessly shoving the brownie down my throat. "However, I don't think that's how it works. You aren't real. I am hallucinating and about to have an overdose. At least that's how I think this works. I'm not sure how many drugs were placed on the dough."
"The nerve! I am a Princess of Equestria that has achieved proficiency in utilizing the dimensional door spell! You will treat me with the respect I deserve! And praise me for achieving my goal!" The pony whined before stomping her hooves. It felt like I was dealing with a child. However, the expression of horror on her face made me feel uneasy. "What did you do to my magic?!"
Shrugging at the whining horse, I walked back to my room to wait for the supposed drugs to wear off. Little did I know that I was talking to a living alicorn.
Opening up my eyes, I felt the warmth of the sun's rays reach my face. I guess that could be a good morning from Celestia. I'm so fucking stupid. Feeling the fuzziness caused by the memory in my chest, I stretched for a second. My right eye felt a little sore, probably because of the proximity to the dust-covered ground when I slept. Allergies are a bitch.
The clear sky above me made clear that it was the perfect time for me to scavenge the place for a map or anything that could aid in my survival. After gathering my things, I tried to find the library. Ancient castles plus fantasy land equal library loaded with documents and other things that should not be left out in the open. Simple RPG logic. Again, it was idiocy on my part, considering that I could fuck myself with that line of thought in this world. Nevertheless, I needed a map or something of the sort.
The stench of molding paper and rotting wood made my stomach twist. The collapsed shelves and piles of old books were proof that I had found my destination. That area seemed particularly damaged compared to the other sections I visited. There were piles of rotting books, shattered shelves, as well as burnt scrolls and furniture. The impact points in some areas suggested a fierce struggle took place in that room. A library can make an outstanding stage for a fight, at least in games. However, that wasn't the reason for my visit, so I chose to ignore it.
Skimming through some books, I soon came to realize that I had overlooked the fact that I was illiterate. Or at least partially illiterate. Some of the symbols used in Equestrian writing were starting to make sense. You won't see me complaining about a convenience like that anytime soon. I could very well be stranded here without a way to read.
I had to check over thirty books and scrolls before finding an outdated map that seemed to be the project for Ponyville's construction. Which was weird enough in itself, considering the town was built by a family of farmers or something close to that. In any case, the map had the castle placed in the Everfree and the area where the city was supposed to be built. Pulling out my compass, I managed to determine which direction I had to go to get to Ponyville.
I need a rope and something to defend myself with. This is an ancient castle. Therefore, find the barracks, and I can get some old gear. The rope could be made out of the tapestry if, no. Those won't support my weight. I'll have to figure some way out of the ravine.
Placing the map inside my bag, I went on to search for the barracks. In contrast with the previous area, the barracks were fairly well-kept. Whatever happened during the fight between Celestia and Nightmare didn't seem to be as impactful as it was in the library. For which I was grateful since it meant better protection from the elements. Meaning lesser damage to potential weapons and equipment.
Much to my distress, however, the guards had taken almost everything that had been stored in that room. All I managed to find was a simple dagger, along with a decent amount of rope. Meaning that I had something to deal with the ravine. With all the gear ready, I decided to make one last check around the ruins. Merely a bit of curiosity that led to nothing but finding piles of rotten food inside equally decayed barrels.
Time to make tracks. What time is it? Phone, phone, eh? Tilting my head at the screen, I rubbed my eyes for a bit. The battery of my phone was being charged without being plugged to a battery. The charging symbol was on display. And the battery had gone from thirty-four percent to fifty-six percent and rising. Well, I guess magic is like electricity then? Either that or I am emitting an energy field. Nah. I'm not a walking battery. But I do have a potential bomb in my pocket now.
Placing the phone back in my pocket, I went on towards the bridge. Once there, I grabbed one of the support beams and looked down on the ravine. That thing was DEEP. If I fell from that height I wouldn't die. However, I would be screwed thanks to the broken bones I would have in that event. Just to make sure I wasn't placing my fate in a rotten rope; I decided to tie up a nearby rock and then safely lower it to the ravine's base, or at least, the closest to the ground I could get it.
Rolling a rock about half my weight, I neatly tied up the thing before using my body as a brake to make the rock's descent. I soon realized that I should have wrapped up something around my hands because the MOTHERFUCKING, SHITTY rope burned my palms as it slid over them. Once I couldn't give more rope, I looked over the edge. Based on the shadow cast by the rock, I was a few inches from the ground. After checking for the rope's durability, I went back to the palace. I had to do something about those hands.
There was an old well in the castle gardens. Using the bucket, I pulled up enough water to fill a pot. Then I made a stop by the ruined kitchen. Thankfully, some of the pots were still useable. With both of these items in hand, I began to set up another fire. Using some sticks and stones, I managed to make simple support for the pot over the fire. I then placed the water in the pot and left it to boil for a bit. Making some rounds, I found more pieces of tapestry. These were in slightly better condition than the ones I used for the campfire. Using the new dagger, I cut them down to some strips of cloth and then brought them back to the pot.
I'll put these in here once I clean the wounds. Then I'll have to wait for them to dry before wrapping them around my hands. But they will do for some nice bandages.
Once I was done disinfecting the wounds, I put used some water to clean up a piece of stone I would use to dry up the bandages. With those preparations in place, I placed the bandages inside the boiling water. It would take about half an hour to have them ready. Staring through the gaps on the ceiling, I began to reminisce.
Opening up my eyes, I felt the sluggishness of waking up in the middle of the day. My head was spinning as I forced myself out of bed. Waking up knowing you're being forced to do something isn't the best motivator for a person. Unless you like the feeling of anger and disappointment, in that case, you would be super excited. After I went to my bathroom and got myself clean, I went back to the living room.
"My God, I'm still high," I muttered as I approached the pouting unicorn with red cheeks. I raised my hand to try and wave the illusion off, only to end up patting the top of her head. "I'm touching it."
"Yes, you are," The unicorn said while glaring daggers at me. I heard a growl coming from her as Celestia's face turned even redder. "I demand food. Now."
At that point, I started to act like a robot. Moving my body as if the joints were covered with rust; I went to the refrigerator, grabbed a few carrots I had, and brought them back to the pony.
WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?! I screamed in my head while sitting in front of the talking animal.
"You are real," I said, more to reassure my observations than anything else. "You are alive and you can talk."
"Yes, I am alive" Celestia mumbled while munching on the carrots. "I hardly call this food. However, I needed to eat something. This will have to do. I didn't expect much from a hairless atrocity."
"And I didn't expect you to be a real-breathing unicorn," I replied with a dumbfounded expression.
"I am an ALICORN. We are the mightiest creatures in the world of Equos, mind you," She replied proudly pumping out her chest. She looked so fluffy when she did that. Celestia's fur seemed about as soft as the feathers on her wings. "Therefore, be more grateful for being of service to a Deity. Show me your-"
Now, I am a man of specific tastes. I love the stories of myths. I love great deities from the past. I love medieval tales riddled with fantasy. So, figuring out that I had a magic creature from myth in my living room was INSANE. I wanted to fangirl so hard, but the first order of business was making amends since I treated her badly due to an assumption.
"Are you listening to me?!" The bratty pony shouted as some crumbs flew across the room.
"I-I'm sorry! I was trying to think of a way to apologize," I said while leaning towards the crumbs to gather them. "And you shouldn't speak with your mouth full. It's disrespectful."
"You can correct me on etiquette when you had the same level of training as I had!" Celestia shot back with venom. "Oh, that's right. A hairless ignorant can never hope to stand on the same ground as me."
"Now, that's just plain rude. I'm sorry for thinking you were a hallucination. But that mistake doesn't give you the right to talk me down like that." I replied with a serious, yet polite tone. She was a bitch, but I would not stoop to her level. "I expected a more delicate behavior from such an esteemed member of society. Then again, you are JUST a princess," I finished with a smirk.
Biting her lip, Celestia started to mumble and spout a bunch of incoherent sounds before making the cutest pouty face I had ever seen in my life. I had to force myself into maintaining a poker face. Otherwise, I would have squealed like a little girl and proceeded to squish that face while talking as if I was conversing with a baby. That was entirely her fault, not mine.
Regardless of my inner feelings at that moment, the conversation was devoured by the silence.
"Ok. Since both sides have been thoroughly insulted, how about we start this over?" I said in an attempt to break the ice. "My name is Caleb Porter, it is a pleasure to meet you."
Placing her hoof on top of my hand, Celestia turned her face away from me before saying anything.
"I am Princess Celestia. Daughter of the Sun. It is a pleasure to meet you," She said before clicking her tongue.
This is going to take a while.
Waking up to the sound of hissing flames, I put out the fire before using my bag as a glove to carry the pot to the clean spot. The bandages were considerably cleaner than before and were ready to use. I just had to wait for them to dry up. and Considering the heat coming from the sun, it would be a matter of minutes.
And so it was. The bandages were nice and dry in about twenty minutes. Judging by the heat, it should be summertime in Equos. Wrapping up the strips of cloth around my hands and forearms, I went back to the rope.
Ok, here is the gameplan. First, I need to navigate the forest and reach Ponyville. Second, I'll need to scout the area to find that Friendship Express thingie. Third, make it to Canterlot and deliver the pendant. Fourth, get to talk to Celestia for a bit before making the jump back.
Standing in front of the rope, I looked out into the forest. I knew that there plenty of ways to die inside those woods. I could run into a cockatrice, a chimera, a timberwolf, an hydra. Honestly, there were so many possibilities for me to meet death that I began to wonder.
Why did I do this? Why am I doing this? The moment I climb down that rope, I won't be protected by this ravine, I mused before looking at the pendant around my neck. Within the silver reflection, I saw Celestia's smile. Oh, yeah. That's why I'm doing this.