Now, And At The Hour Of Our Deaths, Darling
The light from the setting sun filtered in through the stained glass windows of the church, showering Rarity in a dazzling array of coloured lights.
She looked up at the images decorating the walls, the windows and paintings depicting acts of sacrifice and charity as the saints abased themselves and gave up all they had to help others. There was such beauty to be found in those depictions, such inspiration, as they called out to her and offered salvation if she would but accept their shackles.
And then she looked down at her dress, where those beatific images were refracted and blended into a meaningless kaleidoscope of shapes and hues that revelled in the fading day. Rarity snorted delicately — she was too far gone for salvation anyways, no matter what she tried to tell herself at night.
One of the altar girls turned her head as she entered, her wings fluttering happily as she hovered next to a candelabra. "Hi, Rarity!" she called out, waving a hand at her while she lit the candle. One of her eyes fixated on the new arrival, while the other wandered lazily.
"Hello, Derpy," Rarity replied politely. "How are you doing this fine evening?"
"I'm doing great!" The blond-haired woman replied. "This new dress is really comfortable. Thanks so much for making it for me."
"Oh, it's no trouble at all, dear," Rarity replied. "Just doing what I can, as we all should." As if that small gesture could somehow tip the scales that were balanced oh-so-heavily in the other direction. "Ah, is she...?"
"Already waiting for you," Derpy replied. "I'll see you later!"
With that, she returned to her duties, leaving Rarity to walk over towards the confessional booth. She took a deep breath, smoothing out her dress. As was appropriate, she had dressed in her Sunday best — as if she would be caught wearing anything less than perfection even outside of church!
Though, her attire for visiting this sacred place was not her normal wear. While she generally favoured seductive blacks or bold reds in scandalously low cuts, the dress she wore today was white and demure, the type of thing one might expect a good girl to wear in a place of worship.
Of course, this particular shade of white was also known as "Whore's White." Rarity thought it was important to be true to oneself. It was the only way to stay sane in this world.
She quietly pushed open the door to the booth, stepping inside and sitting down on the hard mahogany chair waiting for her. With her magic, she closed the door, set down her purse, and waited. She heard some shuffling on the other side of the divider before a pious voice called out in an airy, feminine tone. "Good evening, my child."
Rarity smiled, knowing that the woman on the other side was nearly the same age as her. She made the sign of the cross and then began to recite the same words she did every time she came here. "Bless me, Mother, for I have sinned. My last confession was two months ago.
"I've told more lies than I can count, until I scarcely know what the truth is anymore. I've killed — again — and more than once. Good people who didn't deserve to die, even by my standards. I've coveted, of course, and hurt people, and manipulated them. And I've stolen."
Unconsciously, Rarity's magic reached out to smooth the fabric of her dress again. "I've stolen something of immense value, and killed in the process of stealing it." Her voice stayed calm and polite the entire time. After all, a lady never showed discomfort, no matter how distasteful she found her actions to be. "I am sorry for these and all my many other sins that have slipped my mind at the moment."
There was a sigh on the other side of the divider, and then the priestess gave her response. "That is a heavy burden to carry upon your soul, my child." There was a pause. "It's still not too late to turn away from this dark path and walk in the light of the Goddess."
"Isn't it?" Rarity asked. "Sometimes I wonder if there's any point in these little confessional sessions, besides your delightful company. After all, I think we both know that I'm going to Hell with a smile on my lips, blood dripping from my fingers, and a lady between my legs."
"Rarity!" Oh, it was always so much fun to make her say her name! For a woman who had to hear the worst evils confessed to her, Rarity's favourite priestess was wonderfully easy to fluster.
"Yes, Mother Twilight?" Rarity replied innocently, stretching herself out seductively even if she knew the priestess could barely see her through the tiny holes in the wood panel that separated them. After all, looking ravishing was the first step in feeling ravishing, and Rarity's confidence stemmed from the knowledge that she was the most desirable woman in the city. "Did you perhaps wish to join me?" she added playfully. "I can teach you so much about how to harness those impure thoughts of yours to great effect."
"That's not appropriate behaviour for this sacred place, Rarity." Twilight's voice was stern, but Rarity noted with triumph that she sounded slightly breathless.
"I'm sorry, Mother." Rarity made a note to confess to that lie next time, just for fun. "I do value these sessions, and the opportunity for a small bit of catharsis, but you know me well enough. I may be a lady, but impropriety is in my blood."
"I do know you," Twilight said. "I know you as the woman who comes into the soup kitchen regularly to volunteer. I know you as the anonymous donor who saved our shelter six months ago when the landlord wanted to foreclose on us. I know you as the seamstress who offered to provide all our altar girls with dresses, free of charge. Derpy loves hers, by the way."
Rarity waved a hand dismissively. "Those few trifles hardly outweigh my sins. A few drops of dye cannot colour the ocean of blood and broken lives that I'm afraid will be my legacy.
"You know, every night I think about what paths my life might have taken if I hadn't been born to such an auspicious lineage as my own." Well, there were other things she thought about at night as well, but Twilight apparently didn't want to hear them, even if Rarity thought the lady did protest too much. "Perhaps, if my family had the wealth that our station was supposed to possess, I might not have been forced to bathe in blood and shame for them. I could simply while away the days in the lap of luxury, indulging in my most decadent vices.
"Or maybe, just maybe, if I'd been born as common as your altar girls, I could have spent all my time pursuing my passions. Imagine, my name in lights as I lived out my dreams of being a world-famous designer, the crème de la crème of high society wearing my dresses and every single one of them desiring me or desiring to be like me!" Stars shone in Rarity's eyes as she poured her heart out. "I could have anyone I wanted, and I would use that power liberally."
She heard a snort from behind the divider. "How about you, Mother?" Rarity asked in response. "I know how much you love to read, and that studious brain of yours is always hungering for more knowledge. Do you ever regret not becoming a scholar and spending your days in a library or lab?"
"We all have our idle musings about what might have been," Twilight said. "But we can't change the past, only the future."
"Very true," Rarity conceded. "Still, I wonder if, in this other world, you and I might still have met. Perhaps, instead of finding me weeping in front of the tabernacle, we would have run into one another when I went to borrow a book on the history of fashion. We might still have become friends and, who knows, perhaps we would have found ourselves in a lovely little tryst. After all, I am ever the connoisseur of beauty, and you would look positively ravishing if you ever took off that dreadfully dull priestess' robe."
Oh, it was such a shame that they were separated by this accursed barrier, or else Rarity would have been able to undress Twilight with her eyes, instead of having to resort to her memories of when they'd last met.
"Mater noster, dona mihi requiem," she heard her friend mutter on the other side. "You are a penitent woman, Rarity." The total seriousness in her tone threw Rarity for a loop, and she didn't have a chance to come up with a witty retort before Twilight continued. "And all sins can be forgiven, so long as you choose to walk in the light."
"Do you really think so?" Rarity whispered. "I confessed that I stole something very valuable earlier, you may recall. It was at Blueblood's annual masquerade ball. An amusing diversion for those who don't normally wear masks, I suppose. For me, it was an opportunity to debut my latest creation, which you no doubt would have disapproved of for many reasons."
She smiled as she recalled the nearly-backless black dress she'd worn. "It was also an opportunity for me to gain access to Blueblood's family vaults. It took some effort to get there, and I do regret that I had to permanently silence some of the guards, but I couldn't very well return to my employer empty-handed, you see. The vault's locks were some of the best craftsmanship I've ever had the honour of witnessing, as well.
"Fortunately, my magical dexterity has many... illicit uses." She let her voice drop low and sultry at those last words, so that Twilight would know exactly what she meant. "You would have loved the vaults, Mother Twilight. There was a lovely little pocket watch inside that could stop time, a bottle of what I believe was panacea, and a piece of the shell of the Leviathan itself. Oh, they even had a piece of the rock of the First Church, if you can believe it!"
There was a painful silence as Rarity knew Twilight was trying her best to hold back from commenting. She let her stew for a few moments before continuing. "Of course, that wasn't what I was there for." She reached into her purse and pulled out a small chest. "Mother Twilight, do you truly believe that I can atone for my many, many sins?"
"I do." The lack of hesitation in the response was heartening. "There is always a chance for you to do the right thing, if you want to take it. But you have to want to take that first step, and to make a commitment to stepping out of the shadows. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it. This I swear to you."
"In that case, would you please open that little panel so I can gaze into your lovely eyes?" After a short pause, Rarity added, "please, Mother, I really would appreciate it."
Slowly, the small rectangle of wood slid away, revealing Twilight Sparkle's face. She really did have the most beautiful eyes, deep enough that Rarity could get lost in them forever, but now wasn't the time for such fantasies. With her magic, she floated up the chest and sent it through the gap. Twilight's eyes narrowed in suspicion, but she took it within her own magic and slid the panel back into place, obscuring Rarity's view. A moment later, Rarity heard a click and a gasp.
"Do take care of that little book, would you?" Rarity said casually, as if she hadn't just handed Twilight the most powerful weapon in the world. "I would hate for it to fall into the wrong hands. Like that of my employer."
"You stole the Grimoire of Agrippa?" Oh, what she would have given to see the look on Twilight face!
"I trust you'll keep it safe. I know you have the right connections for that sort of thing." For the first time in years, Rarity felt her heart grow lighter. "Even if my soul is already damned, I can still choose to do something right with my life. I won't let her have that book, no matter the cost."
"You're not damned, my child." Despite the wonder in her tone, Twilight's voice was still firm. "Your soul is brighter than you know."
"I'll trust in your expertise, Mother." And somehow, she did. "Now, shall I say my act of contrition?"
"Oh, yes." And just like that, they were Priestess and Penitent again.
"My Goddess, because you are so good, I am very sorry to have sinned against you, and by the help of your grace, I will sin no more. Amen." She made the sign of the cross once again, feeling a deep peace wash over her.
"As your penance, you will say five Our Mothers."
"Thank you, Mother." Rarity stood up and opened the door, revealing the interior of the church. "I hope I'll see you again one day."
"Go with the Goddess, my child. May you find peace and goodness in your new path."
As Rarity walked over to the pews, she noticed that Derpy had left, which meant that she was alone here. Twilight would stay in the booth until her watch was over, like a good Priestess.
When she reached the pews, Rarity knelt and stared up at the carving of the woman nailed to the cross that hung behind the altar. "Our mother, who art in heaven..." As she recited her penance, she drew a knife from a hidden pocket sewn into her dress. There were so many who wanted her dead, so many enemies she had made in this life.
The blade of the knife sunk into the flesh of her palm, and Rarity winced as she continued her recitation. She let the blood flow freely until she completed her penance, and then she began her work. By the time she finished, no one would doubt that some terrible fate had befallen Rarity, and she knew better than most how to disappear forever.
She spared one last look at the confessional before she left. It wouldn't be safe to return to any of her old haunts, but something told her that she wouldn't be able to stay away from the shy, scholarly priestess who had believed in her when no others had.
Rarity said a silent prayer for Twilight's safety and then disappeared from the church. The evening light shone through the images of the Saviour, projecting her graceful figure onto the pool of blood that marked the beginning of a new life.
