Chapter 1
Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results means you’re either insane or are making a New Year’s resolution.
I must be insane, well as far as Albert Einstein is concerned.
“I really need to stop going to bed so late.” I groan rubbing the sleep from my eyes.
“You sure you are okay Carol? You look pale.” My boss, Megan looks at me with concern written on her face.
“I am fine, I just need to get more sleep is all.” I force a grin as I sip my extra-large mocha espresso. Coffee is the one thing keeping me sane at this point. It’s like a vicious battle. Miniature coffee soldiers wage war against the tentacles of sleep pulling my eyelids ever downward.
“I will be up front if you need help.” She smiles and walks off.
I glare down at the eggs and bacon I have yet to cook, there is a lot. I grab my favorite spatula and crack open eggs.
I hear the jingle of the front door and turn to see one of the regulars come in.
I pop over to the toaster and toss in a few thick slices of fresh bread. I dash back over and release the bacon into a skillet. If I time everything just right I can have his order done in just over two minutes. I jump from one skillet to another flipping bacon, scrambling eggs and slathering butter on toast. My adrenalin is pumping. I always love to see how fast I can be without losing quality.
Four minutes, far from my best time. I blame the lack of sleep making my actions sluggish.
I sadly slide the finished product over the counter as the old man smiles at me and nods in my direction as thanks. I smile back and return to my work and my coffee.
The diner is picking up now. People file in to eat breakfast while I struggle to keep up with all the orders. The eggs take a lot of attention the bacon and pancakes however I can let cook as I scramble eggs and butter toast. But if I leave the eggs for too long, they will dry out. It's tricky to get the timing just right. Fortunately, the years working here have made my moments almost automatic. Leaving me to wander my thoughts.
I got this job right after my mom died, it’s a high pace work environment that doesn’t leave much time for thinking. Which is good because any time I get to thinking about my life before my mom’s death I get really depressed. I hadn’t realized until she was gone, but she had been the glue holding my family together.
The hours pass and the diner eventually empties of customers. Leaving me time to do some necessary cleaning before the lunch crowd arrives. I scrub plates and silverware till they shine and set them on the drying rack. I wash the skillets while they are still hot and I have to lean back to avoid the scalding steam. They don’t take long to clean and I am only left to clean the counters, while Megan clears and wipes down the tables.
“You are listening to the 89.9 holiday special. Coming up next we have a classic Christmas song, hope you enjoy.” Megan turns on the diners old FM radio. She smiles my way and starts sweeping the floors.
I drain the rest of my coffee in a few gulps gaging at the lukewarm temperature. No sense in wasting caffeine. I frown, shrug and get back to work scrubbing the stovetop.
After listening to a few new Christmas songs, they play one I recognized. It was a cover of Grandma got ran over by a reindeer; my dad’s favorite Christmas song. He used to sing it every time we got together with my mom’s side of the family for Christmas. It irritated the hell out of my grandma. She hated my dad for marrying my mom. My Grandma used to say he was the reason my mom died. I guess it was his way of getting back at her.
Mom had been huge into Christmas before she died. We would set up the tree months in advance. We used to bake cookies, and other Christmas treats for the nursing home together. Dad would get on the roof of the house to set up lights every year the day after Black Friday Christmas shopping. Mom would always be scared of him falling. He never did though. I remember the last Christmas I had with her she had been so excited. Dad had gotten an extra-large Christmas bonus. I think she was more excited than both my dad and me combined.
“Carol are you okay?” Megan asks and I suddenly become very aware of the cool dampness on my cheeks. I sniff back the snot from pouring down my nose and wipe my eyes with my sleeve.
“Yah I’m fine, it’s just a hard time of the year for me. My mom loved Christmas so much, it was her favorite time of the year.” I say not looking her in the eyes. Instead, I scrub as hard as I can at the stovetop.
“It a hard time for me too.” Megan sighs sets down the broom and wraps me in a hug. “You may not have heard but I lost my son to cancer when he was just six.” A sad smile plays on Megan’s face as she remembers her son. “He used to count the days till Christmas months in advance.”
“Does it ever get easier?” I ask barely holding back tears. My voice was shaky and there was a lump in my thought that I couldn’t swallow.
“No, I don’t believe it does. We will always have that hole in our hearts where our loved ones used to be. But we have to learn how to move on and fill our lives with meaning again. We can’t dwell on the past forever or we will be just as alive as the ones we put in the ground.”
“Thank you, Megan. Is it okay if I take my fifteen now while we are slow? I need a moment.”
“Go home for the rest of the day, get some sleep. I will call in Susan to fill in for you.” Megan smiles and hands me a napkin. “You will be okay Carol.”
I grab my purse and put on my coat. My sadness is fading already only to be replaced with disappointment that I let myself have a meltdown at work. That had come out of nowhere.
As I head out the door, I am hit with a freezing wind that nocks all my body warmth right out of me. I run to my car my feet crunch against the powdery snow. My car is frosted over and my door is stuck closed I have to muscle it open. I put my bag on the passenger seat then climb in. I slam the door closed behind me as shiver uncontrollably at the arctic temperature. I turn on my car and set the defrosters on full blast.
My car is a red 1997 Chevy suburban that I got from my mom after she passed away. Every time I drive it, I think of her. She bought the car new and took great care of it. Dad used to call it the adopted child of the family.
When the car had defrosted enough to see out the windows I pulled out of the parking and headed to my apartment.
I used to live with my dad until recently. He wasn’t the same after mom died, he started out okay but as time went on, he deteriorated. He started drinking a lot and every time we were in the same room, he would comment on how much I looked like my mom. Eventually, he got violent, he never hit me but every now and again I would come home to a new hole in the walls. I don’t blame him It’s the constant drinking that’s doing it to him. I, in the end, decided to leave before he got worse. I don’t live far from my dad’s house but being in my own place, without the memories of the life I had has helped with my mental state.
I rarely break down like I had only minutes ago. However sometimes a place or an item, even a song will remind me of her. After that it's only a matter of time before the tears come.
‘I should probably check up on my dad to see how he is doing.’ I make the necessary changes in course to get to his house. He had stopped answering his phone for a while now and the only way to check on him was to physically go see him.
It’s not long before I arrive at his house. The home I grew up in used to be beautiful, now the lawn was nothing but dirt and patches of snow. Dead vines have started climbing up the side of the house. I noticed his car was gone, he had lost it long ago due to his drinking habit. That didn’t mean he was here though he had started taking long walks. Most of the time it was more of a drunken swagger over to the nearest bar, to drink away mom’s life insurance money.
I park in the cracked driveway and make my way to the door. I don’t knock he probably wouldn’t answer anyway. I unlock the door with my house key and make my way inside. It's dark and there are countless holes in the walls, some look like gunshots. Shattered family photos lay on the floor; glass scattered everywhere. I move on towards the living room. Dad is in his lazy boy gazing at a shattered tv screen with eyes devoid of any joy. He takes a swig of Jack Daniels straight from the bottle. In his other hand, he holds a cigarette.
“You started smoking now too.” I sigh leaning upon the doorway.
“Carol? Why are you here?” He groans quietly. I have to say I am surprised he isn’t piss drunk.
“I wanted to make sure you were still alive. Have you been eating?” I ask noting his bony form.
“Unfortunately.” He mutters. Dad stairs into the bottle of whiskey like if it were the night sky.
“Look at yourself dad. Is this how mom would want you to act? Do you think that she would want you to drink your life away? To destroy the house, she worked so hard to decorate?” I gesture to the sad scene around us.
“Leave me alone Carol. You look too much like your mom, sound like her too. It's Painful to see you anymore. To remember her. It hurts more than the hunger.”
I would be lying if I said his words didn’t hurt unfortunately, I understood where he came from. I had to look at my self in the mirror and see my mom every day. “Don’t leave me, dad, I can’t lose you too,” I say the lump returning to my throat.
“Just leave Carol.” Dad closes his eyes, and I make my exit.
My car is cold when I return to it however the engine is still warm therefore the heating works faster. I don’t want to think anymore so I turn on the radio to provide some escape from my mind. I pull out of the driveway and make my way home.
As I drive, I flip through the stations trying to find a decent one. All there is a political talk show and old country music the rest is static. I settle for the country music I have never heard the song before and the words are hard to make out as the station keeps cutting in and out every few seconds. I go back to searching the static for a chance I missed something.
“Hello?” I pause on one of the channels. That’s odd. “Can you hear me?” Asks the voice from the radio. The voice is feminine and sounds young. Probably some kid messing around. I listen closely and turn up the volume. Strange there isn’t any static. Like at all! The voice is completely crystal clear. “LOOK OUT!” Screams the kid.
I look up just in time to see a deer dart out into the road. I swerve to the right to avoid the deer and suddenly a jolt. A split second later I am weightless. The front of my car tips down and I see blue. My ears are filled with the kid screaming. Or maybe that’s me.
As I hit the water my head slams the steering wheel. I hear the sound of glass shattering as the windshield cracks, lines shooting across it like a spider web. As the car sinks the engine splutters and dies. Water pours in from the windshield and the doors. The cracks on the windshield grow larger by the second. My eyes flutter trying to keep conciseness but I am so tired and so cold. I mutter an apology to my dad as my eyes close and I slip from this world.
Death is dark cold and Loud! The howling of wind assaults my ears as I shiver harder than ever before in my life. My ears sting, my eyes hurt in their sockets. I can’t even feel my hands. I open my eyes to see nothing but darkness. Well, almost any way the stars shine brightly in the night sky when they are not covered by large dark clouds. I am laying on my back soft snow cradles my head. I quickly close my eyes from the biting cold as my breathing slows. I have never been so cold in my life. As I fight the cold, I inevitably fall into the abyss of sleep.
Chapter 2
Have you ever fallen asleep in a fleece blanket and woken up so comfortable that you don’t want to move? Between that and the fact that I was finally warm after more than a few months of snowy weather, I wasn’t going anywhere.
I opened my eyes to find myself in a log cabin. ‘Where the heck am I? Didn’t I die in that car crash? Is this heaven?’ My heart pounds as images of being dragged from the car and into some psychopath’s house filled my mind.
As I sit up, I feel strange, like my body is off. I glance down at myself pause for a second trying to understand what I am seeing. I take a deep breath and let out the loudest scream of my life. It doesn’t last for as I soon dissolve into fits of coughing. Tears form in my eyes and I move to wipe them away. When I see my arm…no leg move, I scream more.
My voice is already horse at this point. Hold on, horse? After staring at my hand, now what appears to be a hoof, I immediately check the rest of my body. It takes a while. Each new addition to my body sends shocks of an emotion I can’t describe into my mind like a tidal wave. Am I feeling anger, fear, sadness? I don’t think I feel anything, actually. The feeling reminds me of the moment I learned of my mom’s death. Shock. I think knowing what I am feeling helps me to return to myself.
‘Deep breaths Carol. Breath. Look, you may not understand what has happened to you but work with what you know. I know that I am still me in my mind so there is that is worth something. Okay, inventory time label all your body parts. Legs got four of those. Hooves also four. One torso. One tail and two wings.’ I reach up and touch my face. ‘Two eyes one nose two ears. A mouth. Also, I am covered in brown fur. Am I a deer? A deer with wings? What the actual buck? Wait buck?’
“BUCK!” I yell in frustration. My whole body shakes. I feel like I am going to be sick. I gasp for air trying to catch my breath as a chill runs down my spine. Suddenly I am being told to calm down and take deep breaths. As the Young Doe rubs my back to calm me down, I try to control my breathing. Once I have returned to normal; well as normal as a winged deer can be, I look at the fawn beside me.
“Who are you? Where the buck am I?” I notice the words seem strange in my mouth now that I have calmed down. I regret my phrasing as the kid winces at my language. “Sorry.” I apologize.
“It’s okay. My name is Crystal Haze and you are in my Moms cabin.” She answers, smiling reassuringly.
“How did I get here?” ‘where is this kid’s mom?’
“One of the miners found you late last night. You were in the middle of a blizzard! How did you survive out there so long? You are lucky he was working a double shift last night. Or you may have frozen solid.”
“Is your mom home? I would love to speak with her.”
“Nah, she left to check on Moon Charm. He has been sick ever since winter came. She should be back soon though. Are you hungry? Thirsty?” Crystal asks walking out into the next room.
“Yes, to both.” I call out to her. Now that I am not panicking, I inspect the room with my eyes.
The room is not large, but it is clearly the living room. Beside me sits a wood nightstand with nothing on it. A large brick fireplace is on the wall to my right. Wood burns as the fire consumes it, heating the room to a comfortable temperature. Underneath me is a cot and wood floors. To my left sits a table piled with what I can only guess as medicinal herbs. In the center of the room sits a large sofa and coffee table. Below the coffee table, a wicker basket holds yarn and crochet needles.
Crystal reenters the room with a tray on her back with what looks like a glass of water and a bowl of soup. Crystal sets the tray on the nightstand beside me. I reach for the water first and drain the glass, setting it back on the tray. Only then do I realize what I just did. I had just picked up a glass. With hooves! ‘I don’t even pretend to understand how I just did that.’ I had time to experiment with the spoon. Apparently, if I thought about how it worked, I wouldn’t be able to grasp the spoon. I tried multiple times but unfortunately, it continued to baffle me. However, if I just tried to lift the spoon up without thinking about how impossible it should be to hold something with perfect dexterity without fingers, I could manage it just fine.
I was three-fourths done with my bowl of soup when I heard the door open. Crystal stopped telling me how the soup was created and darted out of the room.
“Mom, she is awake now.” Crystal Said from just out of sight.
“Great, just let me set down my bag and I will be in there in just a minute.” Spoke a calm new voice from the other room.
A moment later an older doe enters the living room. She looks older than me but only by a few years. ‘What do I know? Am I an expert on winged deer now?’ “Hello, my name is Healing haze, I am the village Medicine Doe. You had quite the rough night I wasn’t sure if you would make it.” Dr. haze holds out a hoof and I can only assume it’s for a hand shake… Hoof shake?
“Nice to meet you, Dr. Haze. My name is Carol Mathers.” I say as I grasp her hoof with mine and shake.
“I am no doctor Ms. Carol just call me healing.” She smiles, “Do you know how you got out there in the middle of a blizzard miles from town? I have been asking around and nopony saw you get off the boat last week. The constant storms make the northern passes impossible to make it through this time of year. That means you couldn’t have come that way. Did you come from one of the larger tribes to the east or west?” Healing asks as she pokes and prods me looking for injuries.
“I have no clue how I got here, all I remember is falling off that bridge and passing out. After that, I woke up here.” I can’t decide whether to tell her about the strange and alarming transformation I had apparently gone through. ‘I would sound insane trying to explain it to her. Actually, she may know something about my situation, after all, this could all be perfectly normal!’ I smile at the thought that all this could be wrapped up quickly and I could just go home and forget all this ever happened. ‘Don’t be stupid Carol there is no way this is natural they would have you locked up in an insane asylum quicker than you could say “take me to your leader.”’
“What are you not telling me? I deserve to know. You would have died last night without my help.” She takes on the firm expression that all good mothers have that says, ‘don’t you dare lie to me.’ I don’t stand a chance against that look. It reminds me so much of my own mom.
“What do you know about humans?” I try to start small and work my way up to the larger stuff.
“They are Mythological monsters from Tartarus that kill young fawns to wear their skin as clothes.” She says, her frown Deeping.
“Well, what I am about to tell you isn’t a myth.” I say as I begin my tale. It takes a hours to get through it all, as either Crystal or Healing would stop me mid-sentence to ask about some part of my world. They seamed enraptured with the story I told. As I ended my story with waking up in the cabin and my subsequent shock. I was interrupted once more.
“So, you are saying that you weren’t a Peryton when you went off the bridge?” Asks Healing tapping a hoof on her chin.
“That is exactly what I am saying. You wouldn’t happen to know how to send me back home, would you?” I unconsciously hold my breath as I wait for her answer. “You do believe me, don’t you?”
“I have no reason to disbelieve you. You haven’t done anything to lose my trust. I can’t say I have ever heard of somepony being in your position, but it isn’t impossible. In a world full of magic, you learn quick anything is possible. As far as sending you back or even changing you back to where and what you were, I am afraid it is far beyond my capabilities. I am no unicorn pony.” I start to ask another question, but Healing holds a hoof up. “However, if you were to get passage on a ship to Equestria, and if you made your way to the capital, and if the equestrian princesses agree to see you, then they may have the knowledge and the power to send you home.”
“That is a lot of ifs. Are you sure they can send me home?” I ask, hope filling my heart.
“No, but if anypony can its them. But in order to get there you would need passage on a ship bound for Equestria. That costs bits and last time I checked you are completely broke.” My ears droop as the idea of getting home seamed nearly impossible.
“How much does passage on a boat cost?” I ask fearing the answer would be high.
“Three hundred bits.” Answers Healing.
“Is that a lot?” I have a sinking feeling that it is.
“It’s a fair price for such a long journey. The next ship arrives in just over two weeks. If you don’t mind hard work, you could work in the ice mines. They pay twenty-five bits a day that would get you there just in time for the next ship out.”
“Two weeks! Why so long?” I ask shocked at the amount of time a boat would take to get here.
“We are a small village, the only reason anyone would come here is to collect ice to take back to Equestria. It Being the winter there isn’t a high demand for cold drinks right now.”
Crystal begins to yawn, and her mother sends her off to bed.
“Thank you so much Healing I really appreciate having someone believe me. I thought for sure I would get locked up for sounding crazy.” I smiled at her and she smiled back.
“Your welcome Carol, I know this must be hard for you. We can go talk to Ice Pick tomorrow. He oversees the mining operation in Antlerstead.”
Healing turns to leave, pausing in the living room doorway. “Just in case you need it, the bathroom is the first door on the left.”
“Thank you, Healing. For everything.”
“Goodnight Carol. Sleep well, I will see you in the morning.”
“Goodnight Healing.” I say laying back down.
Trying to fall asleep was hard I kept thinking back to the events of the day. The mystery of the voice on the radio seemed like small fries in comparison to the overwhelming transformation I had undergone. I relaxed in the bed, staring into the dying fire. The coals glowed red and the few flames left sent shadows dancing on the walls. I cried a little that night. I cried for my family and for the world that I had known my whole life. My world seemed so impossibly far away. I don’t know when, but eventually I cried myself to sleep.
The next morning, I woke to a dull need for the bathroom. I rolled out of bed and promptly fell on my face. I groan and try to stand. My legs shake and I collapse with a thud.
“Carol! Are you okay? What happened?” Healing asks rushing into the room.
“I um don’t know how to walk in this body.” My face grows hot embarrassment.
“Well then, I will just have to teach you, won’t I?” She smiles.
“I imagine it’s difficult to learn quickly.” I say trying to get my hooves under me.
“Difficult? Ha Ha Ha why, look here! Learning to walk is as easy as… taking your first step!
Put one hoof in front of the other and soon you will be walking across the floor.” As Healing sings music plays all around us.
My eyes go wide as I suddenly stand up and take a step. “Oh, no, this is going to be bad!”
“Put one hoof in front of the other and soon you will be walking out the door!” At every line I take another step.
“You will never get where you’re going if you never get up on your hooves.
Come on, there is a good tail wind blowing! A fast walking mare is hard to beat.”
I am shocked at the sudden musical number and my body moving on its own. ‘This is absolutely insane! How does this even work! I feel violated!’
“Put one hoof in front of the other and soon you will be walking across the floor. Put one hoof in front of the other and soon you be will walking out the door!” Healing is smiling at my progress as I walk towards the doorway. My hooves clicking on the wood floors.
‘This is just like the thing that the pied piper of Hamelin did with the rats!’
“If you want to change your direction, if your time to turn is at hoof… well don’t be the rule be the exception. A good way to start is to stand.”
‘But that line doesn’t even make sense!’ I scream mentally as my mouth doesn’t seem to be working. I turn the corner to walk down a hallway. Healing fallows me as Crystal joins in on the singing.
“Put one hoof in front of the other and soon you will be walking across the floor. Put one hoof in front of the other and soon you will be walking out the door!”
I feel my mouth open as I begin to sing. “If I want to change my reflection, I see in the mirror each morn.”
interjects Healing.
“You mean there is just one direction!”
“My only shot is an Alicorn!” I say with confidence. When we get to the front door, I fling it open and walk outside. Suddenly the whole village, including myself, are singing together.
“You put one hoof in front of the other and soon you are walking across the floor. Put one hoof in front of the other and soon you are walking out the door!
Put one hoof in front of the other and soon you are walking across the floor. Put one hoof in front of the other and soon you will be walking out the doooooooooor!” We all hold the last note for a dramatic finish.
After the song has ended, and the music has faded away, all the deer file away. I find walking to be simple and easy. So, I walk up and frown at Healing who is wearing a smug grin and Crystal a sympathetic one.
“Never do that again. I don’t know what it was, but never again!” I say firmly.
“That’s a variation on how they teach newborns to walk.” Chimes in Crystal.
I nod at the foal and freeze as suddenly I remember what I got out of bed for. That day I learned to walk and run.
Author's Note
just in case you don't get the song. https://youtu.be/OORsz2d1H7s
