A Pony Walks Into A Bar...

Steph yawned during the early morning behind her hand politely. These were the boring hours of the day, where not much really happened. It were these moments, she wouldn't mind seeing something totally ridiculous happen.

As if on cue a massive brown Diamond Dog slammed the front door open with a snarl limping inside, he was covered in fresh mud of a hard day's work. Steph just knew that'd be a horror to clean up later, she also noticed the beast wearing an odd tiny cowboy hat atop his gigantic head, like something out of an old Western.

“Howdy, scrawny human!” He tried to speak in a country accent, though his floppy bulldog cheeks caused it to sound terribly muffled.

“Morning officer, I'm assuming you're the new sheriff elected for downtown?” Steph arched her hips off to the side.

“I reckon yer correct, Lil Miss! ~ How bout a bottle of loudmouth soup!?” He flashed a slobbering grin to the young woman, who winced in place holding back a gag.

She made quick work to grab a bottle of beer, handing it over to the drooling dog. A faux smile across her lips, the beast chugged down his drink in a matter of seconds belching loudly afterward.

“Rough morning huh?” Steph held her hand over her nose the foul stench nearly unbearable.

“Very, just this morning I stopped a robbery at the local market!” He lifted up his injured limb as if it were a badge of honor.

“Did you catch the culprit?” Steph asked with a shocked little gasp.

“Not yet, but I do have a tip on the fiend's location! ~ Just stopped at this saloon fer a bit of liquid courage!!” The sheriff lifted to his feet ready to leave.

“That'll be five dollars, officer.” The barmaid spoke up gently, a tiny bit intimidated.

“Not now, I have to find the man who shot my paw!”