Something Sweet To Bite: Candy Mare Goes to Hell

At last, the Candy Mare and Lemon Drop stood before the master.

They could not have been more confused.

'The master' could best be described as a tiny, pink pegasus filly. She actually had to stand on top of the massive chair in order for her diminutive frame to be seen. She had a crimson tower emblazoned on her flank, though it could also have been a red chess piece if you looked at it in the right light, pretty much where one would expect a pony to have a cutie mark. Her curly powder-blue mane, accented with a yellow ribbon, bobbed gently in the scarlet light that spilled from above as she turned her head to one side to regard the pair of ponies from across the desk. She treated her guests to a sinister smile as her ruby red eyes glowed eerily.

"Wait...what? Is this some kind of joke? Am I being punked?" The Candy Mare looked around the room as if she expected to find a hidden camera crew. "You're seriously supposed to be the 'master' these two have been going on and on about?"

"Believe it or not bitch." Cozy Glow replied with a flash of her teeth. "You're looking at the ruler of Hell!"

"I confess, I'm a little surprised myself." Lemon Drop looked quite perplexed. He took a moment to remove his glasses and wipe them off on his vest. As he placed them back on the end of his muzzle, however, it seemed that cleaning his glasses didn't improve what he was seeing in the least. "How exactly did a foal come to rule the underworld?"

"Looks can be deceiving." the pint-sized pegasus replied enigmatically. She then raised a hoof to her forehead and pushed back her bangs, revealing a pair of tiny red horns once the curls were out of the way. "When you're the top dog in a place like this, it doesn't pay to advertise. There's always some idiot gorilla stomping around declaring himself the next dark lord, but all that does is paint a target on your back. It's only a matter of time before someone else comes along to steal the crown. That kind of idiotic posturing is what keeps this place mired in the past."

"Hah, I see." laughed the Candy Mare, realization dawning. "No one would ever suspect a cute little filly of running the show. Clever!"

Cozy Glow shrugged off the compliment. "That kind of deception is child's play for me, but you'd be surprised how often it works. You know, I actually went to the mortal world for a little while, and no one there ever figured it out either. Mortals are idiots, no offense."

"Indeed. Yet, I can't help but observe that you're back down here." murmured Lemon Drop, his glasses reflecting the ruddy glow of the master's office.

"Hey, even the strongest demon is at a disadvantage in the physical world." explained the hellspawn with a shrug. "I tried draining Equestria of all its magic to manifest at my full strength, but that plan got ruined. Then I got roped into some stupid Chaos God's moronic plan to test a Princess and things just spiraled out of control from there. Ended up turned into a fucking statue, if you can believe it."

"It happens more often than you might think." nodded the Candy Mare sympathetically. "Fucking Princesses, am I right?"

"Preach." The demonic filly and the candified corpse leaned over the desk and shared a hoof-bump of solidarity.

"While it's lovely that the two of you appear to be bonding, I hope that's not the reason that we've been summoned here." interjected Lemon Drop, like the kill-joy that he was. "I was given to believe that there was a matter of some urgency concerning my shared fate with this abomination?"

"Is he always like this?" asked Cozy Glow, with a tilt of her head.

"Constantly." deadpanned the Candy Mare.

"Yeah, I can see why you murdered him." conceded the devilish filly. "Well Lemony Snicket, you're here broadly as a means to an end. At this moment, you're the only thing that's keeping the Candy Mare tied to this existence."

"Excuse me, what?" The Candy Mare's smile faltered. "Say that again."

"Don't look so shocked. Didn't he already tell you that your fates are linked?" When the explanation didn't seem to have the desired impact, Cozy Glow rolled her eyes and gave a more detailed answer. "One by one, you were separated from your hosts. Bit by bit, the souls you swallowed were freed from their confinement as the various universes you infected either came to an end or were somehow cleansed by your enemies. Oh sure, there are still remnants of your power out there, but there are other Candy Mare's from other realities that are tapped into those magics now. All you've got left is one last, lingering soul. Your original victim, Lemon Drop."

The room fell silent, until the quiet was suddenly broken by an unexpected sound.

Lemon Drop was laughing.

This wasn't the sardonic little chortle or a knowing guffaw, but a full on deep-throated belly laugh. The child killer's mirth was so extreme tears were running down his face. "You mean to tell me... hahahaha! That her very existence... mwahahaha! Is dependent on me!?" he could barely get the words out through his gale of giggles.

"That's right." The devil leaned back in her chair. "Without you she'd just evaporate, poof, right out of existence. Truly this is the worst possible situation for her to find herself in, because she can either stay with you here in Hell or face oblivion. Not a choice I'd like to have to make. Of course, if you agree to my offer we could change all that. Work with me, and I might be able to come up with a few more options for you."

"R-i-i-ight..." hissed the Candy Mare. "This is the part where you say you can just wave a magic wand and make my troubles all go away. What say we skip the sales pitch and get right to the catch."

Cozy shrugged. "Suits me. The catch is, you'll owe me a favor. Just like old man Grogar at the front door."

"A favor? That's it?" asked the cannibal corpse incredulously.

"Isn't that enough? I mean, I am a demon here, what more can I reasonably ask for? You're already in Hell, It's not like you have a soul to sell. At least..." and here Cozy's cutesy demeanor dropped entirely and a truly fiendish look spread across her face. "Not yet."

"What exactly, may I ask, is that supposed to mean?" Lemon Drop asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Exactly what it says on the tin, Lemonhead! We're going to set your 'dearest daughter' up with a soul of her very own! No more having to scour the land for a suitable host or roll around in candy to have a physical form." explained the hellspawned filly with glee. "Frankenstein's monster will be alive! Alive! She'll be a one hundred percent live, loud, and loaded living mortal supercharged with enough magic to poke a hole in this shithole of a prison and blaze a pathway straight through to the higher spheres!"

"Ah, I get it." mumbled the Candy Mare, before saying louder, "The 'favor' is inconsequential. Just a way to control me if I get out of line. What you're really after is a prison break. I'm betting this isn't the first time you've tried either."

"Golly, why would you think that?" asked the devil in filly form, smiling innocently and squishing her chubby cheeks with one hoof, before dropping the act and admitting. "Yeah, we tried this before with the geriatric goat out front. Don't ask me why I thought he'd have enough juice to do it, it's a long story I don't really want to get into. I tracked him down after I got sent back downtown and, sorry to say, he didn't live up to my expectations. Without his bell, he's just not that useful for our purposes. I'm not even sure he would be much use with it at this point, having sampled its power for myself. It had a lot of pizzazz, but not enough to put six pint-sized ponies in their place."

"Sorry to interrupt, but I feel like we're overlooking something here. I understand why the Candy Mare would want to change this lovely state of affairs, but why should I go along with this?" asked Lemon Drop, brusquely. "I'd much rather she continue being unable to harm me."

"Lemonpuss, don't you get it? Her freedom is your freedom too!" Cozy Glow's eyes grew wide and bright, a beatific grin spreading on her face giving her the appearance of a cherub as heavenly rays suddenly shown down from above. "If one of you is reborn, the same goes for the other. Think about it! A second chance. The ability to do it all over again, only better this time. Maybe you could even polish up that soul till it shines bright enough to ascend to the higher spheres all on your own! You'd never have to worry about being sent back down here ever again!" The heavenly light faded back to crimson, and her angelic features were replaced by a jaded glare and a filthy leer that accented her devil horns, "Or maybe you can just kill and abuse a bunch of kids all over again for kicks. Not like it matters to me one way or the other, it's your soul."

"As excited as I am about blowing this pop stand, I'm not so wild about letting the rest of you mooks escape the funny farm." The Candy Mare rubbed her chin thoughtfully with one hoof. "Especially Lemon Drop. I might be better off forging my own path and leaving the rest of you down here to rot."

"I thought you might say that." Cozy clapped her hooves together twice and suddenly Grogar appeared standing beside Lemon Drop, a blade of crackling dark magic extended from one hoof and pressed firmly against the unicorn's throat. The ethereal blade bit ever so slightly into his skin, causing a tiny trickle of spectral blood. At the same time, a similar slit opened on the Candy Mare's own neck, dribbling a bit of greenish-black ichor. "This is a one time offer, take it or leave it, but be careful how you choose. Oblivion may be preferable to eternal suffering, but that doesn't mean I won't take my sweet time sending you both there."

"You little shit!" scoffed the Candy Mare, almost admiringly as she wiped the goo from her throat. "And here I was just starting to like you."

"Watch your tone, cretin!" threatened Grogar, brandishing the glowing blade of dark magic. "It would be wise to show a little more respect to your master!"

"I'll settle with you later goat boy. Until then..." here the Candy Mare turned an uncharacteristically sympathetic smirk in Lemon Drops direction. "Try not to antagonize the help by being your usual asshole-self 'Lemonpuss'."

"I assure you, I will endeavor to be the very picture of civility." a cold smile flitted over the unicorn's face. "No matter how odious my minder may smell."

"Blah blah blah, do you two ever shut up?" cried Cozy, exasperated. "So do we have a deal or what?"

"I don't see where I have much of a choice. It's the Cozy Glow show now." remarked the candy ghoul bitterly. "You name the tune and we'll see how well I can dance."

"Perfect!" The pink pegasus cried out joyfully, before fluttering up from her seat on excited hummingbird wings and over to a door set behind her desk. As she opened it, the web of bridges that spanned the massive pit reappeared on the other side of the door frame.

"Follow me!"

The demon in filly's clothing led the filly clothed in candy to the central terminus of the web of scaffolding and bridges.

It hadn't taken long, though they had a chance to talk in depth about what it was specifically that Cozy wanted the Candy Mare to do along the way. Here at the very middle of the pit, the wind that rose from below went beyond merely freezing to truly arctic. Frost covered every bare surface and monstrously thick icicles hung beneath the iron and stone bridgework. There was what looked like the start of a winding stairway carved into a particularly thick pillar of ice that led down into the crevasse, though it was quickly lost in the gloom below.

"So she's down there then?" asked the Candy Mare, a shade uncertain.

"Yup! What's the matter?" Cozy Glow hovered nonchalantly over the void. "Scared of heights?"

"Depths actually." admitted the mad mare in a moment of lucidity. "Comes from being born at the bottom of a pit like this."

"Oh, I very much doubt it was anything like this!" the hellspawn replied with a demonic grin.

"Then you don't know Lemon Drop very well. I can only hope that bites you in the ass somehow." The Candy Mare shot back with a devilish smirk of her own. "You better watch out. He's got an eye for little fillies with curly hair, just so you know."

"You realize I'm not actually a filly right?' Cozy replied, sounding almost bored "I'm the devil. Ruler of Hell. Ring any bells? I have more important things to worry about than some perverts preferences."

"Golly, I would have never guessed!" replied the Candy Mare innocently, squishing her cheek with one hoof as stars and hearts blossomed in her eyes. "We'll see if that matters in the long run."

"Yeah, right." dismissed the demon.

"Guess this is where we part ways. And don't think it hasn't been a little slice of Heaven... Cause it hasn't!" Without any further warning, the Candy Mare ran to the end of the bridge and leapt into the abyss, performing a perfect swan dive before tucking her limbs around her body and screaming"CANNONBALL!!!"

"Show off." muttered Cozy Glow.