Something Sweet To Bite: Candy Mare Goes to Hell

Travel through the bombed out shell of what had once been a city to rival heaven was fairly eventful.

There was blood and fire everywhere, of course, and in the distance there was the sounds of war as one daemonic faction fell on another. It was a ceaseless conflict that had raged for time immemorial, perhaps since the first angel had fallen. Around every corner was some hapless soul being tormented, common street theater, to entertain the burnouts and pain addicted sadists most of the inhabitants of the demonic capital were turning out to be. Down every other back alley and side street there was some abomination or another peddling shriveled up souls or pimping out fresh sinners 'yours at bargain basement prices, and that's cutting my own throat‘ to take home and torture to your black heart's content.

The Candy Mare watched tattered wraiths being led behind dumpsters and into crawl spaces for a quick, sloppy fixes that spoke more to the desperation of the hellspawned 'Johns' than to any sort of ethical or moral judgement against the damned. The mad mare came to realize that most of the devils in this city were little more than junkies looking for their next fix. To them, punishing sinners was drugs, food, and sex all rolled up into one tight little addictive package. It was the only source of entertainment and distraction for them, aside from the constant in-fighting.

Fresh souls ran at a premium, as they would elicit the sharpest screams and the most potent wails, but even the tattered and worn out shades of older sinners had their value. They were passed from freak to freak, each abuser eager to see how the virgin and jaded alike would react to their particular brand of torture. It was no wonder that the demons were at war with each other once you realized this. It was painfully obvious that the more powerful and wealthy devils, who lived in parts of the city that still faintly echoed their former glory, were awash in a glut of souls while the vast majority of hellspawn barely got by trading the same suffering sinners back and forth between themselves. With such a stark class divide it only took one or two of the more opportunistic and vicious among the demons to set off a turf war. An attempt to climb the social ladder by splattering their rival all over the pavement.

On the trio's journey they passed several examples of such ongoing street battles. One was a desperate affair that took place amid a grove of grotesque trees that seemed to have sprouted in the shapes of mortals who had killed themselves. Desperate bystanders futilely fled, trying to escape the violence, while faster and stronger hellspawn wantonly indulged themselves with weapons both conventional and arcane as they weaved among the frightening flora. Thick, blood like sap ran from the trees as errant spells and wild blows from weapons bit deep into their bark. The foul substance trickled like like tears sliding down their silently screaming faces, but as horrid as that appeared it was as nothing compared to the carnage that the devils inflicted on one another.

For all the drama going on around them, the trio were quite safe. Grogar’s pace never once slackened nor quickened, as he walked as if he was above it all. The anguish of the damned and the barbarity of the demons both seemed to be beneath his notice. Besides, any being foolish enough to approach him was vaporized before they could so much as utter a curse. A semi-transparent magic shell moved with the trio, and anyone else that touched it immediately flashed into black sulfurous flames. Crossfire from misfired spells and errant projectiles were likewise rendered harmless by the bubble of magic that surrounded them, deflecting them harmlessly at times, though occasionally they would bounce back to their originator with comically horrifying effect. What should have been a harrowing walk through hell had become a rather droll stroll through a particularly ugly park.

“You’re one useful old goat, Grogar.” remarked the Candy Mare as an old V2 rocket fizzled harmlessly into nothing as its trajectory strayed too close to the small party. “How exactly is it that you seem to have so much power here while the rest of us poor mortals have to make due with harsh words and rude gestures?”

"The answer is simple. I am no poor ‘mortal’.” he scoffed, pausing for a moment to let a flaming tank roll by, a giant two headed fire-breathing hellhound bounding excitedly behind it. “I amassed a great deal of power over the course of my life. So much, in fact, that I became an immortal being from the sheer amount of magic that dwells within me. So great was my power, once upon a time, that if I did not use it there was a very real risk that I would explode trying to contain it. So I set about using my power to build my empire. With my sorcery I crafted every monster of Equestria, giving form to nightmares and horrors that the simple minded pony-folk could scarcely imagine. By sheer will and the darkest sorcery I made myself ruler of all I surveyed, the first and only Emperor of Equestria!”

“Ooh such pride in that billy-goat gruff voice of yours!” teased the Candy Mare, a sly grin twisting her face. “However, I’m sensing there’s a big ‘but’ coming before the fall.”

The Father of Monsters glared back at the candified-corpse, clearly not at all pleased with her amused tone. There was a tense moment that made even Lemon Drop's ethereal form sweat, but the Candy Mare wore her usual half mad expression, refusing to back down or apologize. It was clear that it took some effort, but Grogar must have decided to dismiss her disrespectful comment as the product of a clearly deranged mind. That, and it wasn't in his best interest to destroy her before he had delivered her to the master.

“But, for all my efforts my power would still prove my undoing. I had grown so strong that even creating monsters on a daily basis was not enough to sufficiently drain my magic. I could no longer safely contain all of my sorcerous might within myself. To compensate for this, I created an artifact of enormous potential! An indestructible bauble in the form of a bell, my Bewitching Bell, in which to husband the greater bulk of my energies when they were not in use. Unfortunately, I did not anticipate a lowly pony to be so bold as to steal the artifact away from me like some common thief. ‘Gusty the Great’ they called her. The thieving little trollop didn’t look so great to me as she was fleeing for her life!”

“Then let me guess...” interrupted the Candy Mare, the grin never leaving her face. “She used your own power against you, and sent you here?”

What happened next was entirely unexpected. Grogar’s sour expression melted into laughter. The sound was so disturbing, so unnatural, that even the warring demons seemed put off by the sound. Upon identifying the source of the strange noise that assaulted their hearing, the devils each quietly slunk away into the shadows, mutually abandoning the field of battle. There were some sounds so evil that they were cruel even to demonic ears.

“That coward?” Grogar guffawed. “She didn’t even try to wield my magics. Oh no, she did something far worse. She hid the bell away in a cave on top of one of the harshest mountains in Equestria, Mount Everhoof, behind so many layers of protective spells that there was zero chance of anyone being capable of retrieving it on their own.”

For the first time since Grogar had humbled him, Lemon Drop decided to speak up. “But I thought you were the father of monsters? Couldn’t you have commanded some of your, uh, ‘offspring’ to aid you?”

“Those worthless ingrates!?” the angry goat thundered. “The ones that didn’t run off to retrieve my power for themselves mocked my weakened state and refused to help me! They did not care a wit that they would not have even existed if it were not for me. No, you should well know the kind of gratitude to expect from the ‘offspring’ we create, Lemon Drop. Self-absorbed nitwits, the lot of them!”

“Right, so sayeth the narcissistic old goat...” The Candy Mare muttered under her breath. Louder she said, “So what did you end up doing about it?”

“How exactly did you end up here, in the end?” asked Lemon Drop, genuinely curious.

“Simple. I could not retrieve the bell on my own. I was too weakened to brow beat my progeny into aiding me and they were too incompetent to work together anyways, so if I were to retrieve the Bewitching Bell I would need an ally from outside. I still had enough dark magic to bridge the gap between worlds. The plan was simple, reach out to a like minded individual on another plain of existence and use them as a conduit to leave Equestria. I would then simply pass through to another world and from there I could cross back to a point that was inside the cave, bypassing the protective spells, and upon regaining my powers I would simply break the barrier from within and once more reign terror upon the land!”

“So... That didn’t happen then.” observed the mad mare with the propensity the insane sometimes possessed for stating the obvious.

“No, it did not!” confirmed Grogar sourly.

As he said this, he blasted a hole in the chest of a rather corpulent demon blocking the road. The spray of viscera and gore was magnificent, leaving a cavity wide enough that you could drive a truck through it without touching the hollowed out hellspawn's sides. The trio casually walked through the gaping wound and back to the street beyond.

“It should come as no surprise to you that the only beings that were willing to aid me were the denizens of darker dimensions." continued the former emperor, not missing a beat. "However, I was not aware at that time of the restrictive rules that some plains of existence operated under. Though I was successful in leaving Equestria, the very nature of this realm prevents me from further travel, no matter how much power I scrimp and save. This realm is a prison that is easy to slip into but nearly impossible to escape. So to return to your original question, why am I so powerful here? Because unlike the rest of you I never died. I am immortal. Unfortunately, I remain as trapped as the rest of you."

“And yet you serve this ‘master’ I keep hearing about.” observed the Candy Mare thoughtfully. “I’d think the first Emperor of Equestria would have busied himself becoming the Emperor of Hell, rather than a delivery boy for one of the beings that tricked him into coming here.”

“Have you perhaps been deliberately ignoring your surroundings?" asked the sorcerous goat incredulously. "This place is a cesspit. Little more than a rotting sewer for the very worst scum, the most black-hearted, back stabbing low-life’s you could ever hope not to meet! Only a fool would want to rule this dung heap!” he concluded, wrinkling his nose as if he smelled something foul.

“I thought the master was the head honcho around here?” asked the ghoulish pony, suddenly confused. “Does that make your master a fool in your eyes?”

“Listen carefully, because what I am about to say is a courtesy that I rarely offer even to the insane. Do not speak ill of my master. Furthermore, never imply that I would speak ill of the master either.” A fiendish yellow glow rimmed his eyes as the robs turned completely jet black from lid to lid. His curling horns suddenly thrummed with power as his voice dropped menacingly. “You have seen what I can do to these worthless demons. Now think how much worse it would be for you to displease my master.”

“Good thing you have orders to deliver us in one piece.” Lemon Drop chimed in nervously.

“Yes...” agreed Grogar, slowly, the power fading from his horns as his eyes returned to normal. Well, as normal as a goats eyes ever get anyways. “Though it was not specified what condition that piece needed to be delivered in.”

“Okay, fine, I get it nanny-goat.” huffed the sugar-coated pony, pouting. “Your master is off limits. Fine! So when do we get to meet the guy?”

“Soon. We’re far enough from the perimeter that I should be able to speed our travels without making ourselves a target for the more opportunistic and desperate denizens of this wretched city.” Saying that, an orb of boiling shadows lined in sulfuric yellow light sprang to life from Grogar’s horns. The sorcerer closed his eyes in concentration, twisting and shaping his magic as the spell took form.

They had come at last to what seemed to be a plain of burning sand. The buildings around them were sinking into a desert of crushed bone. In the distance there were storm clouds, but rather than rain it was smoldering embers and hot coals that swept over the landscape. It was easy to see why it would be a good idea to circumvent these scorched badlands if at all possible. Fortunately that appeared to be just what Grogar had in mind.

A vast darkness took shape before them like as an inky portal took shape in the air. Amber lights swirled within its depths, taking the form of wailing demonic faces. After a few moments the shadowy vortex seemed to settle into a black corridor. With a mocking bow, Grogar gestured that his two charges should step through. The Candy Mare made a face in his direction, but stepped boldly into the liquid shadow, disappearing into its swirling depths. Conversely, Lemon Drop hesitated, clearly not entirely trusting the way the surface of the portal rippled and shifted. However, an impatient cough from the former emperor sent him scampering into the corridor.

The Father of Monsters rolled his eyes and gave an exasperated sigh before following after them.

From the boiling darkness, the Candy Mare emerged and surveyed a vastly different landscape. Gone were the tall buildings and the urban squalor. Here there were several vast canyons, each arraigned one after the other in concentric circles, connected one to the other by long stout metal and stone bridges held aloft on the backs of giant daemons. Rather than the relative chaos of the City of Dis, this place had an air of stringent order, not unlike a maximum security prison. It wasn't long before the candy ghoul's two companions joined her and the three set off across one of the many bridges.

At first the Candy Mare skipped over the stone surface, trippity-tropping along, but as she went her pace slowed. Far below, in the darkness of those yawning chasms, the Candy Mare could sense the busy work of devils as they toiled away tormenting the unfortunate sinners that were relegated to these pits. The cries and grunts were dulled by monotony and despair, but they were constant. The sounds and smells that rose from below told a tale of constant, focused, and unrelenting misery

It shouldn't have been a surprise that once again the very landscape of this place was set up solely as a place of torment, but this was the first time the grim machinery of hell was spread out in such stark and plain detail. The functionality of it, fundamental purpose of this place, aimed specifically at absolutely crushing the souls of sinners beyond any hope for reprieve. Even for a creature like the Candy Mare, that thrived on the suffering of others, the cold mechanical precision of it all was surprisingly unsettling. It reminded her that there were, and always had been, things so much worse than death.

Lemon Drop, by contrast, seemed the most confident and composed he had been since the Candy Mare's arrival. He strode boldly down the center of the bridge ways, clip-clopping along, though it was notable that he kept his eyes locked forward on their destination rather than looking over the side to the dim figures below. Here, high above everyone else, perhaps he finally felt he was where he belonged? If that were the case, the Candy Mare hoped for his confidence to allow him to stray closer to the edge eventually, so she might have the chance to push him off the edge just for the pleasure of seeing the look on his face before he plunged into the abyss.

Unsurprisingly, Grogar didn't seem to care about any of it at all. This was all old hat to him. The sorcerer simply plodded along, stomping the ground beneath his hooves as if he held a grudge against the place itself. Given what they had heard from the old goat about how he had gotten here, perhaps he did? The otherwise inexpressive titanic demons that held the bridges aloft seemed to cringe as Grogar tramp-tromped overhead. That only seemed to confirm the idea that Grogar had perhaps lashed out at the troll-like creatures sometime in the past.

Vast as these canyons were, they were longer than they were wide, and it didn't take them long to cross ten of the pits and reach one final crater at the center of the concentric circles. This last fissure made all that came before seem like tiny ravines by comparison. Its abyssal depths were lightless, soundless, and unlike anything else that the Candy Mare had seen in Hell so far. A freezing cold aura seemed to radiate from its incalculable depths, causing the air temperature around it to plummet, a thick hoarfrost that formed curved icicles on its sides creating the illusion that the crater was rimmed with gigantic teeth. The outer canyons ringed around this central, circular maw, and on the distant horizon the Candy Mare could just make out other bridges leading to it from across the way. It seemed that all roads in hell eventually led to this single point at the very nadir of the underworld.

However, there were no bridges that spanned all the way across. It would seem that they had reached a dead end.

"So, what's the big idea?" asked the Candy Mare, turning back to face Grogar. "You planning to throw us in this hole in the ground and pretend you couldn't find us? Or are you just going to tell your boss some rival faction got to us before you could?"

"Please!" sniffed the first Emperor of Equestria derisively. "If I wanted to dispose of the two of you, I would have burned your souls to ash when we first met. This is our destination." As he said this, he stepped over the edge of the abyss and vanished into thin air.

"Well that was unexpected." admitted the candy coated pony. "Care to follow after him Lemon Drop?"

"I'm no more eager to try than you are" confessed the yellow unicorn, adjusting his glasses. "Perhaps there are some stairs further along?"

"Come on, come on! What's the hold up!? I don't have time for you two to stand around and gawk all day!" Grogar's irritated voice erupted from somewhere over the pit. His head suddenly reappeared, passing through an invisible barrier. It looked rather ridiculous hanging there on its own, though the expression on his face brooked no nonsense.

Once again, the goat's horns were engulfed in magical un-light that spread to engulf the pair of ponies. His magic lifted them off of their hooves and hurled them both unceremoniously over the edge. Just as they felt the grip of the emperor's magic lessen around them, a new bridge seemed to appear out of nowhere beneath their flailing limbs. The two fell, the Candy Mare landing in a cat-like sprawl with a hiss while Lemon Drop nearly tripped over his own hooves but quickly regained his balance as if his ungainly display had never occurred and glared back at Grogar over his shoulder.

"Oh, don't waste your time baring your fangs at me!" chided Grogar. "The master awaits!"

Sure enough, the previously invisible bridge did not span far before it seemed to break off into several branching trails. Indeed, it seemed that there was an entire invisible web of scaffolding and wires strung out over the breadth of the pit. If you didn't know it was there it would have still been easy to fall into the nothingness below, but if you knew where to step there was no real danger. The magic that hid the superstructure was intricate and clever, giving no indication of its presence despite covering an area several miles in diameter.

Not far ahead was what appeared to be some sort of door. It was bizarre in its commonplace appearance. No dread portal or skull engraved portcullis was this, but just a simple red door with a brass knocker and matching doorknob. Even so, there was something absolutely stark and foreboding about it being here in the depths of the underworld. It was out of place, like a cluster of brightly colored balloons at a funeral parlor, the commonplace rendered unnatural by its surroundings.

Once again, It was Grogar that opened the way, though this time he did so with a more sincere bow that was free of any of the mocking courtesy he had displayed before.

Both ponies hesitated this time as the space beyond the door frame opened into a cavernous room whose vast dimensions could in no way be contained by the narrow bridge that the door occupied. High walls of dark oak disappeared into a distant smokey ceiling while a wide crimson carpet rolled across a wide plain of black marble tiles laced through with gold. In the dim distance before them they could just make out a large desk, behind which a tall back chair loomed, lit by a crimson glow that shown down from above.

Through gritted teeth Grogar whispered an impatient "Go in already!"

With a mutual shrug, the ghostly unicorn stallion and the candy coated ghoul stepped through the door.

Immediately their hooves sank into the deep, plush carpet. It was the first comfort either had apparently known since being taken in by hell's hospitality, and both paused a moment to luxuriate in the sumptuous sensation. Their hoof-falls were silenced by the rich material as they began the long trek towards the distant desk. Braziers that lined their path flared to life as they passed, shedding more crimson light over what appeared to be a banquet hall or ballroom. After the chill that rose from the pit, the warmth that the bowls of magical flame gave off was quite welcome and, far from the stench of the smoke found elsewhere in Hell, the heady aroma they gave off was like sweet incense. The air itself tasted like cinnamon and clove mixed with honey. In effect, their every sense felt like it was drowning in opulence.

They drifted along in a haze of pleasurable sensations for but a short while before they at last came to stand before the wide black desk at the center of the room. Slowly the high backed chair turned to reveal...That it was empty.

The pair of ponies saw no one.

"Uh... hello?" called out Lemon Drop tentatively. "Master?"

"Down here, nimrod!" replied a youthful voice. Sure enough, on the seat of the tall chair and just beneath their line of sight, there sat the master. "Golly, it's about time you got here! My name is Cozy Glow, but you can call me 'Master' if you want to."