Smolder's Egg-Cellent Story
It was early into Saturday night. Sanbar and Gallus had gone out and stocked up on sodas and snacks for them and their friends to chow down on earlier that day. They were all currently enjoying the snacks and each other’s company in the library that Head Mare Starlight gave them access to at night.
“Alright, Smolder,” Gallus said after munching down a clawful of chips. “Will you tell us all how you got detention for two weeks six months ago?”
“Wait, I never told you guys that story?” Smolder looked shocked at this revelation. All of her friends shook their heads no. “Oh dang! Well buckle up, because this is a hilarious story.”
“I fail to see how getting detention can be funny,” Ocellus muttered.
“Alright, so it starts out the day before the fact,” Smolder began. “I’m getting ready for what I’m thinking is going to be the highlight of my week. Garble had written me and told me he’d be coming to visit me. And I’m super excited for this. Garble never comes to visit.”
“Wait,” Sandbar raised his hoof. “I don’t remember your brother coming to the school, though.”
“Yeah,” Smolder grumbled. “That’s what bummed me out. I’m all up and getting ready, planning out our day and showing him some of the places I’m sure he’d actually like here. Granted there’s not much, but I know there were a couple. I could barely even sleep ‘cause I was so excited.”
“Dawww,” Silverstream mused. “It sounds like you really love him.”
“I do,” Smolder admitted. “But sometimes I really wanna kick his rear end into a volcano. The next morning, he knocks at my door bright and early. I open it, and immediately realize Garble’s not going to stay long. Just one second is all I need to realize that he’s only here because he egged up some girl.”
“Egged up?” Sandbar asked.
“It’s a slang term among oviparous creatures,” Ocellus explained. She was immediately met with gazes that told her she had just used a word that only she knew the meaning of. This was a common sight for her. “Um, creatures that lay eggs.” Everycreature nodded their heads in satisfaction at the clarification.
“We basically use it how you’d use knocked up.” Gallus added further explanation.
“So friend Smolder’s brother come to school just to show her that he has egg?” Yona asked.
“Nope,” Smolder sighed. “You see, the hatchery was still being repaired after his friends stupidly diverted all the lava to use as a hot tub. So until it was fixed, all new eggs needed to be looked over the old fashioned way: with one of the parents breathing fire on it to keep it warm every couple hours. Problem is, Garble didn’t want to do that. He wanted to spend a vacation with this chick instead. So guess who got stuck with egg-sitting duty.”
“I’m guessing that would be you,” Sandbar answered obviously, to which Smolder groaned with a nod.
“That must suck,” Gallus said, “Having your brother come here only to dump an egg on you.”
“Oh you do NOT know how pissed I was at that point,” Smolder snorted smoke from her nostrils. “Don’t get me wrong, I was super stoked to find out I’m going to be an aunt. And I still can’t wait for the little drake to hatch. But I was in a pretty nasty mood right after he left.”
“Wait,” Ocellus interjected. “If taking care of a dragon egg is such a full time task, how come none of us ever saw you with it?”
“Oh, Head Mare Twilight took an old snake egg incubator from Professor Fluttershy and modified it so that it would be hot enough. So I just popped in to check on it every once in a while until Gar-Gar got done goofing off and decided to actually take care of it. But of course, that was after I decided to have some fun with it.” Smolder grinned.
“What fun can dragon have with egg?” Yona asked.
“Well I”m glad you asked,” Smolder folded her claws together and leaned forward. “After I calmed down from being mad at Gar-Gar, I realized that I was presented with a very unique opportunity. While I had this egg, I could do something hilarious that I couldn’t do otherwise.”
“What what is it?!” Silverstream exclaimed in excitement. “Don’t keep us in the dark.”
“I took the egg and flew all around the school.” Smolder watched as all five of her friends were leaning in on the edge of her seats. She decided to keep it going to build up the suspense. “I looked through several rooms. Every closet, every empty classroom. Of course, I had to stop one in a while to warm up old eggy. And then, I finally found who I was looking for: Spike.” Her leading them on had the desired effect. All of her friends were heavily invested in her story.
“He was cleaning an empty classroom when I found him, so I knew it would be perfect. I peaked in the door, saw him, then silently closed it. Then I opened it as hard as I could and ran in shouting. ‘Spike! Spike! Oh my gosh Spike! I don’t know what to do! This just happened!’ and tried to make it as sincere as possible while holding up Garble’s egg. The reaction on his face was priceless!”
While Smolder was grinning, the rest of her friends did not seem amused. She realized that none of them were finding it as humorous as she did and tried to save face. “Ok, it didn’t occur to me until after I did it that Spike might have gotten the wrong idea about what I meant.”
“You didn’t? Or was that you plan the whole time?” Gallus rolled his eyes. For once, the entire group seemed to share his attitude towards this situation.
“That’s not very funny,” Sandbar scowled.
“Yeah!” Silverstream agreed. “You must have freaked him out so much!”
“Look, I only intended to let him think that for a second before laughing about it and telling him the truth!” Smolder tried to defend herself, seeing her friends obviously did not share a dragon’s sense of humor. “It’s not my fault that it got out of claw so fast!’
“W-wait,” Ocellus started biting her hoof. “There’s more?”
“Yeah. So as predicted, Spike starts freaking out. But before I could even start laughing, he bolts from the room. I try to catch him and tell him I was just joking, but you can’t exactly fly that fast when you’re carrying an egg. They’re heavier than they look.”
“Why’d he run?” Gallus asked. “Spike is definitely not the type to run from fatherhood.”
“Oh he was going to the first creature he thought of because he didn’t know what to do: Head Mare Twilight. By the time I get to her office, he’s already on his knees crying and apologizing, saying he doesn’t know what to do and he isn’t ready for this. At that point it’s not funny anymore and I had to fess up.”
“Well it serves you right!” Ocellus shot an accusatory scowl at Smolder. “Whether or not it was your intention to, that was probably the meanest thing you could have done to Spike! You’re lucky he’s still your friend after that!”
“Oh believe me, Head Mare Twilight said the same thing.” Smolder rolled her eyes. “Spike actually had a laugh about it too when he calmed down, if that makes you all feel any better. But I ended up getting the last laugh that day. Because while she was chewing me out, Head Mare Twilight realized something.” Smolder said nothing else.
“Well?” Gallus asked for her to go on.
“No no no, I want you to try and think of it. Let it hit you like it hit her.”
Everycreature was silent for a few seconds. Then Yona slowly raised her hoof.
“Why Spike think egg was his?”
Smolder didn’t say anything in response, but gave the same horn to horn grin that she gave Twilight when she asked her that same question.
The response from the group was a unanimous look of shock and bewilderment appearing on their faces in unison. No creature could even form words in response to what Smolder was so brazenly implying to them.
“You didn’t…” Gallus stammered.
“Oh yes.” Smolder nodded, her grin not leaving her face.
“B-but with Spike?” Sandbar stuttered. “W-when? W-why?”
“A couple weeks before then.” Smolder kicked her feet up, enjoying every second of this. “Obviously way before he met Gabby. I’m not that kind of girl. It was after he molted. You all probably guessed that molting is basically dragon puberty. Well it’s closer to that than you might think. So of course, those dreaded hormones were going to start kicking in.
“With the hormones, I knew that it was only a matter of time before those kind of thoughts started coming to his head. And I knew for a fact they’d be about me, given the fact that I’m the only girl dragon in the whole country. Now, most dragons his age would just come out and say it. Probably make some right out and say that to the girls they were thinking about. But Spike’s not most dragons. We all know that he’s too polite, shy, shameful for that. He’s too much…”
“Like a pony?” Sandbar finished the sentence for him. His tone was only slightly offended.
“Exactly!” If Smolder picked up on Sandbar’s offense, she didn’t show. “I couldn’t take thinking about the little guy torturing himself by keeping that all bottled up. So one day I flagged him down in the hallway to set the record straight: I’m totally dtf.”
“Dtf?” Silverstream asked. Ocellus whispered in her ear. “Oh. Wait, what’s the f stand for then?” Gallus whispered in her ear. “Oh!”
“Took him a week to finally take me up on that offer. Only did it once, though.” Smolder said casually.
“If you don’t mind us asking, how was it,” Sandbar had a slight blush at his question.
“It was Spike, and he was a virgin,” Smolder explained. “So pretty much went exactly how you think it would. Way too courteous and nervous for my taste. I don’t know about ponies, but that’s not how dragons do it. I could tell that even though he was my first guy. Some of the things he did, though, I think he spoiled me on. Never in a million years would a dragon do those. Once I got him going, I enjoyed it. And I so used my experience to rock his world. Plus teach him a couple of things that I guarantee he does with Gabby.”
“I’d, prefer not to think about that…” Ocellus sunk into her seat.
“Experience?” Gallus asked. “You just said Spike was your first.”
“First guy.” Smolder corrected. “Did plenty of girls though back in the Dragon Lands.”
“So friend Smolder not virgin even then?” Yona asked.
“Nope. That such a surprise to you?” Smolder paused for a second and looked across the table. “Ok, show of claws, who’s a virgin?” There was a slightly uncomfortable silence. “Come on, we’re all friends here. I’m not gonna shame you all or anything. I just wanna know.”
Arms started to raise around the table. Sandbar, Ocellus, Yona, and finally Gallus slowly raised his claw with a look of resentment. The only creature that didn’t was Silverstream.
“Wait, really?” Smolder asked in astonishment. “Of everycreature in this room, you’re the only other one who’s had sex before?”
“Is there anything wrong with that?” Silverstream tilted her head.
“N-no,” Ocellus said. “It’s just, kind of a startling revelation is all.”
“I had a girlfriend and a boyfriend back home,” Silverstream explained. “I made love with them once before we ended with each other.”
“I’ve certainly learned more than I’ve wanted to about everycreature,” Sandbar said.
“Yak can say same.” Yona agreed.
“Well I’m off to bed,” Smolder stretched and yawned. She took a lantern and walked towards the door to the library. “See you all in the morning.” She opened the door and stopped. “Oh, and what I said to Spike, I’ll say to you all. Totally dtf.” She grinned one final time and closed the door behind her, leaving silence in the room she left.
“She knows how to make things awkward,” Gallus sighed.
Author's Note
Since the last time I turned a small thing I did with my friend into a full on story went over so well, I decided to turn a couple line joke into one too! Originally, I had just written Smolder being mad about being dumped on with the egg, scaring Spike, being chewed out by Twilight, then "Why did he think it was his?"
At first I tried writing this as the whole event was happening, but I decided it would work better if it was being retold by Smolder, that way there's room for the rest of the Young Six commenting throughout.
This is sorta a squeal to Changeling Sense, but not really. Like obviously she had already told them all that she had done Spike before in that story. Same sort of setup thought.
