As Spike was walking, he couldn't help but shrink into himself as he got look after look, directed towards him. He sighed. "It's fine, it'll just take a little while for them to get used to me." Said Spike. He looked around and noticed that there was a massive crystal tree looking building in front of him. Spike looked at the size of it, it was easily 25 stories tall. "How the hell didn't I see this when me and Fluttershy were walking around?" Asked Spike.

"Sensors indicate that this structure is being covered by a magical spell that allows light to just pass through it. Records show that when this structure was finished, it caused local crops to be set on fire due to the sun's rays igniting them, another incident caused a stallion to be blinded temporarily. So, Princess Celestia has placed a spell that allows light to pass through it instead of reflecting off it." Said Cally.

Spike shrugged. "Works for me." Said Spike as he walked up to the castle and knocked on the door.

Moments later a unicorn mare with a two-tone purple mane with an aqua highlight opened the door. She looked at Spike. "Um... Are you Spike?" Asked the mare.

Spike nodded. "Yes."

The mare opened the door fully. "Good, Twilight and Princess Celestia are waiting for you in the map room, follow me."

"Sure, Ms..."

"Starlight Glimmer, I'm Twilight's student, it's nice to meet you."

Spike nodded. "The same. So why was I called here?"

Starlight shrugged. "No clue and frankly none of my business, but last thing I heard from them was something about an examination." Said Starlight as she and Spike arrived at a large set of light blue doors. "Good luck." Said Starlight as she walked away.

Spike sighed as he pushed open the doors to the room. "And I'm telling you, if you come within an inch of Spike with any of your dangerous equipment, I will send you back to magic kindergarten so fast that Rainbow Dash would feel inadequate." Yelled Celestia.

"I keep telling you, none of my equipment is dangerous, I just want to run some test to make sure there is nothing wrong with him."

"You just said that you want to see what happens to him if he goes through the portal to the human world. We have no idea what that will do to him, he could turn into a dog, or a cat or god forbid a chicken, and what if he couldn't come back, I'm not going to let you do anything to him." Yelled Celestia.

Spike looked around the room, Celestia, Luna, Cadance, and Twilight were sitting on thrones around a large circular table. "Um..." Said Spike. This was enough to catch the attention of everyone in the room. "I'm not sure who I should be more afraid of." Said Spike.

Luna sighed as she should be asleep right now, but she walked over to Spike. "Spike, you know how Tia gets in negotiations."

Spike nodded. "Yeah, but nothing's broken and all the chairs look like they are bolted down."

Luna nodded. "Yes, because they are." Said Luna. Being the COO of Canterlot Corp, Luna had two jobs. The first was to make sure everything was ok, second was to keep Celestia from doing stupid things. Celestia had a bad habit of making light of a lot of situations, like the time she discussed with an employee that was harassing others, that discussion ended with a broken arm and pelvis, another time was when a rival company threatened to run Canterlot Corp into the ground. That meeting was just a plot to kidnap Celestia and Luna. That one ended with a broken window on the 64th floor and two broken arms and a jaw.

Spike nodded. "Ok, so why are you here?" Asked Spike.

Luna groaned. "I ask myself that same question." She sighed and kissed Spike on the cheek. "I'm going to bed, stay safe Spike, and whatever you do behave." Said Luna as she yawned and teleported to her bed again to get some sleep.

Cadence was the next to walk over to Spike. "Why are you here?"

Cadence shrugged. "I was in charge of Twilight, I used to foal sit her before she was an alicorn. Hey, next week, would you like to come to visit, I want Flurry to get to know her uncle."

Spike shrugged. "How long has it been since you had sex?" Asked Spike. Cadence was the one-person Spike was able to talk to about his sex life with Ember and his few girlfriends, because no one wants to talk to their parents about that kind of stuff.

Cadence groaned. "3 years, 11 months, 16 days. Ever since I found out I was pregnant with her."

Spike smiled. "Go have a good night, it might help me when my Cadance finally has a kid."

Cadance smiled. "Thanks, Spike, and good luck with them." Said Cadance as she kissed Spike on the cheek and teleported the hell out of there.

Spike sighed as he took a seat in one of the thrones around the table. He looked at his mother and Twilight. "I'm giving you both five minutes to tell me what's going on, and since this is Twilight's castle she can go first." Said Spike.

Twilight smirked at Celestia as she took a seat. "First off Spike, I'm glad to see you up and around again, as for what we were talking about, it's nothing too outrageous. All I want to do is run a few tests on you to make sure nothing else has happened to you, along with a few experiments to see how you differ from the humans we know."

Spike nodded. He looked at Celestia. "Mom, your turn."

"Well what's she's not telling you is that those experiments could be dangerous, and as your mother and her teacher I should have a say in this."

Spike nodded. "A good point."

"All I want to do is have his blood tested, see if he is healthy, give him a few exercises and paper tests." Said Twilight.

Spike shrugged. "That doesn't sound too bad." Said Spike.

"She also wants to toss you through a portal to this reality's human world to see what you would turn into, which might trap you there indefinitely."

Spike shook his head. "Yeah, I'm not doing that." Said Spike.

"Master, 5 minutes have elapsed." Said Cally.

"Thanks, Cally." Said Spike. "How is that searching into the races coming along?"

"Of the known 16 races on this planet, I have compiled all relevant information on 12 of them."

Spike nodded. "Good, keep it up, I got this to deal with."

"Very well." Said Cally.

Spike looked at Celestia and Twilight, both of them were looking around for the voice. "Don't worry, Cally is an AI that Discord used to make my arm and leg. I'll let you both meet her later." Said Spike. He looked at Twilight. "Twilight, you can do your tests, but only if I have the final say on what I do."

Twilight nodded. "Of course, I would never do anything that you wouldn't agree to. Who would do something like that?"

Spike looked at Celestia. "Yes, who would do something like that?" Asked Spike.

Celestia groaned. "Oh, it was the one time and I was worried about you getting kidnaped."

"It was my first day of elementary school and you chipped me, tracked me, and had the security team in a car monitoring the school."

"I had it removed once everyone was vetted through your father's contacts."

"And another thing, you can't use dad's security clearance to run background on everyone I talk to."

"Wait!" Yelled Twilight. "What did you say Discord's job was back where you’re from?" Asked Twilight.

"Oh, technically we're not supposed to talk about it. But seeing as no one here knows about my reality, I guess I can talk about it." Said Spike. "Twilight, in my reality, my dad is part of an off the books government task force called CHAOS. They do the jobs no one else is willing to take on, Capture, Hold, Assist, Organize, Save. These are the five jobs of CHAOS. I don't have access to what they do, but I know that my dad oversaw the removal of an African warlord that was ruthless, a cult that was kidnapping kids, and a hostile nation's dictator." Said Spike.

Twilight dropped her jaw. She looked at Celestia. "Why isn't our Discord like that?" Asked Twilight.

Celestia shrugged. "Don't ask me."

Suddenly Discord repelled down from the ceiling dressed in a full black jumpsuit with night vision goggles on. "Yeah, it's a mystery to even me." Said Discord.

"Hey, Dad." Said Spike.

"Hey Spike, did you get my letter?" Asked Discord.

"Yes, you were too late, but I stopped her." Said Spike.

Discord nodded. "Good, well I just came by to grab this." Said Discord as he picked up Celestia. "Come home tonight at around 10, we're going to the strip joint." Said Discord.

Celestia growled. "If you step one foot in a strip club, I will put you back in the garden for a century and let all the pigeon’s crap on you." Said, Celestia.

Discord sighed as he ascended back into the ceiling. Spike looked up to where he just saw his dad and mom disappear and found nothing there. 'What the hell?'

Twilight sighed as this was nothing new for her. She looked at Spike. "Are they always like that?" Asked Twilight.

Spike nodded. "Aside from all the magic, I would have to say yes."

Twilight sighed. "How are you not crazy?"

Spike shrugged. "I've been desensitized to it. This one time, when I was 10, I was helping my mother on her favorite day of the year, April fool’s day, and we decided to make my aunt the target. We make 10 cream pies, that would be launched at her face. But when the first pie was ready, instead of hitting Luna, it exploded in my mom's face. My dad was hiding under the counter and planted a small air hose underneath the pie, so once she brought the second pie back, he blew the filling into her face. This made her a little upset, but she was laughing at how she was going to get back at him. For the rest of the day, my dad and mom just kept pranking each other, while I was playing them both. I planned something special with my aunt and Cadance to prank them both."

"Master permission to access memories, this memory is something that can only be understood if seen?"

Spike smiled. "Sure." Said Spike. Soon Cally's screen popped up and showed Luna in a clown costume, Spike in a chicken suit and Cadance holding her head under her arm, and a massive pile of popcorn was hanging over Celestia and Discord's bed as they were asleep. "It was the last prank of the night, ready to go off at 11:59, I was in a chicken suit to act like a rooster, Cadance was going to walk into the room holding her head like nothing, and Luna was going to top it off by cutting the rope that would release 10 pounds worth of popcorn on top of them."

Twilight looked at the image and couldn't help but laugh her flanks off at the sight of how that would end. "Did it work?" Asked Twilight.

"It did." Said Spike as the image of the aftermath popped up on the screen and Twilight fell out of her throne laughing at the massive confusion that she was looking at.

"That look on their faces, I would pay 100 bits to see that." Said Twilight.

"Transferring funds from royal allowance now." Said Cally. "Transfer complete, printing in progress." A small bit of green fire shot out of Spike's arm and a copy of the picture landed on the table in front of Twilight. She looked at the picture, then to Spike.

"Um... did you just do that?" Asked Twilight.

Spike shrugged. "No, Cally did. Cally introductions are in order." Said Spike.

Cally appeared on her screen and smiled at Twilight. "Greetings, I am Cally the AI unit that is inside of Spike's arm and leg. You are Twilight Sparkle, designation: Pain in the ass alicorn princess. Would Master Spike like me to engage 'Book horse countermeasures'?"

"Not right now, but I'm curious to find out what it is, explain."

"There are three options, the first is teleporting a rare book from the secret section of the forbidden section of the royal library. Second, giving her a problem that cannot be solved or makes no logical sense. Lastly, making a quesadilla, she is terrified of them."

"NO, I'm NOT!" Yelled Twilight, she then shuttered in fear. "They're just so cheesy."

"Those are all available book horse countermeasures. Do you wish to initiate?"

Spike laughed but shook his head. "No."

"Very well, returning to standby mode, also can I go to the strip club, they always have a stallion in the back for ladies?"

Spike sighed. "I'm not going to a strip club.” Said Spike.

Cally groaned. “But, why?”

Spike sighed. “Because that’s why. Cally goes to standby.”

“I hate you.” Said Cally as she went into standby mode.

Author's Note

NO STRIP CLUB! yet.