Dear Success

Chapters

Entry #1,129
Entry #1,138
Entry #1,240
Entry #1,272
Entry #1,343
Entry #1,122

Entry #1,129

Dear Princess Twilight,

Had a bit of a scare here yesterday, and I wanted to tell you about it because I think I learned a good lesson about friendship. I know how much you like hearing about those.

It all started when I promised Applejack I'd help out on her farm. I have to admit, I've always been a little jealous of how strong she is, geode-induced super strength aside. I figured it would be a good chance for me to build a little physical endurance while helping out a friend, not to mention bonding time and really getting to learn what it is she and her family get up to on their farm.

Long story short, I was pooped by the time we finished all the chores and harvesting and whatnot, so AJ agreed to let me spend the night. After getting a good hot meal in me, of course. More bonding time, right? AJ and I rarely ever do things like that together, so I was all for it, and it was great!

In the middle of the night, though, we were woken up by someone crying out in pain. Granny Smith had gotten up around 1, gone downstairs looking for something, tripped in the dark, fell and hit her head.

Before you freak out, the end of the story is she's okay. But while earth ponies are really strong (I've never met Equestrian Granny Smith, but I have to imagine she's an earth pony like Applejack), here in the human world, we take old people falling down very seriously. It can be really dangerous, so everyone was immediately worried.

Apple Bloom was the one who'd heard Granny first, and she woke up me and AJ. Applejack told her to go back to sleep, since it was the middle of the night and all. I know in her shoes, I wouldn't have been able to. I'm also pretty sure AJ wanted her out of the way so she wouldn't have to watch her big sister freaking out. Because that's exactly what happened.

After getting Granny an ice pack for her head and making sure she wasn't, y'know, dead or anything, Applejack proceeded to fret, fidget, pace, you name it, everything just short of actually crying.

I, meanwhile, was still dead on my hooves. The shock of it had woken me up, yeah, but my body quickly started clamoring to go back to sleep. In spite of that, with Apple Bloom trying to sleep, Applejack's brother actually asleep, Granny not quite coherent and AJ freaking out, I was the one who had the presence of mind to grab the keys for Big Macintosh's pickup truck, get AJ and Granny into it, and drive us all to the emergency room.

Before you ask, yes we could have called an ambulance, but since the Apples live a ways out of town, it would have taken almost as long for one to get there than for us to drive ourselves. That, and ambulance rides in this world are pricey.

So I got to spend the next two and a half hours propped up in the corner of a place that wanted to be a hospital but was somehow way less intense. I mean, we were almost the only people there and like I said, Granny was okay. They gave her some kind of scan, and the doctor said they didn't find any fractures or swelling or anything, so that's good.

Me, I just spent the night doing those breathing exercises you showed me. I wasn't exactly going to sleep, there was too much talking in the background because we were right near the nurses' station, but it kept me calm. By which I mean any time AJ got too riled up with worry, I could say something to calm her down.

And I'm still really tired, so I apologize if this is incoherent.

But looking back over it, I was kind of surprised at myself? I mean, Applejack gave me an out right at the start. She said I didn't have to get involved since this was a family matter, but I just grabbed those keys and took it on myself to drive. I really do think she wouldn't have held it against me if I'd said no, but there was never any question in my mind. My friend was in need, and I could help, so I did.

Go me?

I feel good about how I handled the situation, at least. Maybe I'm selling myself short when I say I didn't expect myself to jump into the literal and metaphorical driver's seat like that. But maybe it shows how far I've come, learning about friendship and all?

Anyway, thought you'd like to know. How are things in Equestria? You know me, always up for the latest gossip!

I'll stop here, since I kind of filled a few pages. And cuz I want to I'm gonna go take a nap.

Your friend,

Sunset Shimmer

Entry #1,138

Dearest Diary,

Today, I had a breakthrough with Fluffernutter.

Oh goodness, just writing that makes me feel--

Ah, but I see I've not written about the kitten before. Allow me to remedy this!

Back in September, my parents found a little black kitten huddled under their front stoop. The poor thing was able to take care of itself, but it was alone, with no sign of a mother cat anywhere. It was skittish around ponies, but after a week of feeding it, they were able to bring it inside and give it a little space in the kitchen all to itself.

Of course, as I have no lived with my parents for quite some time, I found out all the details later from Sweetie Belle. I was quite enamored with her tales of kittenish diversion. It's been ever so long since Opalescence was a kitten, and cats are just so adorable at that age!

Being so enamored, I made time in my busy schedule to visit my parents and see how the little dear was getting along. This was only a little over a week into the process of getting it used to being cared for.

What a darling creature! A perfectly sleek black coat, little yellow eyes that blinked when it got sleepy, that little twitchy tail that came to a point at the end! It was of course fearful of the new face in its midst, but that first day, I was able to coax it to play with a long, feathered toy for perhaps twenty minutes. What fun!

And yes, Diary, I know what you're thinking, so before you ask, the name was a case of my parents indulging Sweetie Belle. Where she came up with it, I'll never know. I even brought Fluttershy over to try and find out if it perhaps had a name already, or a family, or if it would be acceptable to take it to the vet for a checkup, but she said it simply didn't wish to speak with her. Can you imagine? The one pony in this world who could speak with it in the first place, and the cat has its own tongue, as it were.

Anyway, life progressed this way over the next two months, myself coming to visit once every other week or so. And in that time, I started to despair ever so slightly.

You see, I enjoyed my time playing with the dear, or watching it play with other members of my family, but whenever I showed up, its first instinct was always to hide. It never seemed comfortable around me! The final straw came when I saw it climb into my mother's lap while I tried to no effect to get it interested in a stuffed mouse toy.

I was absolutely devastated, dear Diary! And who could blame me? I felt neglected, snubbed even, having done nothing to offend it! Why, oh why wouldn't it show me the same affection and love as it had my parents? Even my father, himself very much not a cat sort of pony, was able to pet it!

I find this all somewhat embarrassing to admit, but that is why I admit it here, and not to anypony else. Why, I may have even wallowed, just a bit, over the lack of kitten affection in my life.

But then the answer came to me. Mother, Father and Sweetie all live with the cat. I am simply an itinerant, as it were. I am not putting the effort into this relationship, for that is what it is, to get much benefit out of it. This is not for lack of trying -- my schedule is what it is -- but feeling awful about it was doing nopony any good. So I stopped, and I felt a bit foolish, as the answer was so simple.

Which brings us to today. I was in my parents' living room, for they've been able to open up more of the house for the kitten to inhabit, playing with little Fluffernutter and a ribbon toy. It's one of those cat toys where the fluttery bits are tied onto a stick, to help ponies without magic entertain their pets.

We got into a game where the kitten would play with the end of the ribbon for a while, then stop to take a breath, whereupon I would stroke its back with the stick part. This seemed to confuse it at first, but over the course of some minutes, it slowly got used to the idea.

Until, eventually, it crawled into my lap and I got to pet it.

This didn't last long, mind you. But oh, it was magical! So soft and warm! It was all I could do to keep from squealing in delight!

When it had had enough, it gave me a little nip on the hoof (nothing painful, just enough to say "I'm done") and scampered off to play with some other toy. Mother had taken notice and said something along the lines of, "Well, if that's not progress!" I had to agree.

So yes, dear Diary. It was silly of me to feel so downtrodden about not being a kitten's best friend. Our rapport will improve given time, I'm sure of it. I shall simply have to put up with not being its best friend for a while longer, as my schedule dictates what it must.

I suspect there might be a lesson applicable to all kinds of friendship in this.

Your faithfully,

Rarity

Entry #1,240

Day, like, 35 million of quarantine

UUUUUUGGGGGHHHH

This sucks

this sucks

it sucks it sucks it sucks IT SUCKS!

Okay, I can't just do nothing but complain in this entry. But I really, really, REALLY am getting tired of being cooped up all the time!

I mean, it's fun not having to go to school. And I went out and rode my scooter around when they first started saying you need to stay indoors. But you're allowed to outside and exercise, right? That first week, it was kind of neat to see the city mostly deserted. Like, no problems crossing in the middle of the street, right? Just nothing but me and my scooter, like the world belonged to me or something.

But now it just kind of feels lonely and desolate. Is that the right word? Like everyone abandoned it, and we're the only survivors left after the end of the world. It's scary. And if I wear a mask, like my aunts tell me I have to, I just feel like I'm getting ready to rob a bank or something. So I've been staying in my room most days and playing video games.

And that wouldn't even be that bad. I mean, AB & SB and me have Whoosh to get some face time in. We even got in contact with Apple Bloom's cousin Babs again! That was cool. But when you're all just stuck inside all day, you run out of things to talk about really quick. And we're kind of all getting on each other's nerves with gaming. So we agreed to keep Whooshing to only every other day. Maybe that'll help keep things fresh.

That's the problem though. Like, Aunt Holiday and Aunt Lofty aren't exactly... fighting. But they're getting annoyed with each other over really small things, like constantly. I think they're getting annoyed with me, too. And maybe I'm getting annoyed with them.

For once, I'm glad my parents aren't around. Five people stuck in this house would have made things five times worse! Even if that math probably doesn't check out. Whatever.

But I did something tonight that I think maybe might help? It was just a little thing, but I can imagine some grownup telling me it was really thoughtful and mature or something.

So like, you know how the mirror above the bathroom sink can get really grody? Like, you brush your teeth and somehow little bits of toothpaste get sprayed all over it, and then you don't clean it immediately and dries. (At least, I hope it's just toothpaste. Eww.)

Anyway, I was brushing my teeth last night when I realized, the mirror wasn't gross anymore! It was like, sparkling clean, frame and all! I don't know which of my aunts did it, but it probably doesn't matter. I was like, struck with inspiration or something. I knew I had to do something nice in return.

So I went downstairs, grabbed a pad of post-its and a pen, and I wrote a little note to stick on the frame. Here's what it said:

"Who cleaned the mirror?
It looks really nice.
Thank you! :)"

Yeah, I actually wrote down a smiley face. But hopefully, Aunt Lofty or Aunt Holiday will see it in the morning and feel appreciated. And if they ask me who left the note, I'll just pretend I don't know, and they'll think the other one did it. Or I'll say it was the post-it fairy, who knows. Maybe it will get us all thinking a little more positively or something, or doing more nice things. Like maybe I'll go clean that nasty dirty spot on the hallway where everyone touches the wall. Maybe.

I dunno, it seemed like a good thing to do and I feel kind of pleased with myself for doing it, so there. I didn't just complain for my journal entry, like I said. Though I swear, if I keep talking to this stupid book for much longer, I'm gonna go nuts.

Entry #1,272

Dearest of Diaries!

Today, I had an ~~epapha~~

an ~~ephipp~~

I realized something important today.

Do you remember the other day, how I was complaining about trying to cut out some fabric for a costume and it just wasn't working right? That's not exactly the first time that's happened.

Oh, it pains me to admit, Dearest Diary, but I am a terrible seamstress! Woe is me! For I cannot use scissors to save my life!

Also, I'm not allowed to use knives around the house after "the incident", which will not be spoken of even in these pages.

But it's true, and it's stupid and it sucks. No matter what I use to try and cut things, nothing ever comes out right. I can't slice bread straight, I can't cut fabric in half, I can't cut shapes out of anything. I've always been like this, since I was old enough to use scissors in the first place.

And like, you don't expect a first-grader to be able to cut nice shapes out with safety scissors. But you'd think I'd get better after a few grades, right?

Hey, talking about time and grades is a nice lead-in to my realization, how cool! Because that's kind of the point!

Who do I compare myself to when it comes to cutting stuff? My big sister Rarity, who spends her every waking moment making clothing, and my mom.

My mom is like, super old. ~~And she's also a sewer.~~ Oh, eww, I mean she's someone who sews, why does that turn into another word when you write it out?

Anyway, mom's been sewing her whole life too. And her life's way longer than mine or even Rarity's. So that means she's had way more practice, right? And that's why she's way better than me at cutting stuff, so I shouldn't compare myself to her, because it's not fair to me to do that.

So maybe I cut things crooked all the time, but that's okay! I've got my whole life ahead of me to learn how to use scissors right! Or maybe I'll find something else to do with myself and then I won't have to worry about cutting things. Like, Mrs. Torch Song says I have a real future as a singer. Maybe I could do that instead?

Ha ha, no, of course not, no way am I getting on a stage to sing in front of thousands of strangers! Don't tell my friends I said that.

Anyway, that's all I had to say!

Yours most faithfully!

Sweetie Belle

Entry #1,343

Journal log entry #134003122020:

Progress on Experiment 134-Alpha remains at a standstill. In the interest of making this update worth writing, I am pleased to report a small moment of personal success today. It's been a long, difficult year, but the counseling sessions are starting to pay off.

I was grocery shopping with my friend, Sunset Shimmer, at a store I frequent regularly. The trip was... Let's say, 'fraught'. A nervous nagging at the back of my mind came to a head I experienced what I believe was a panic attack while in the checkout line. I can identify no causative trigger, but that isn't what I wanted to talk about.

I handled this occurrence in what I would characterize as a positive manner when I:

Informed my friend that I felt like I couldn't breathe, and was cognizant of the fact that this was likely psychosomatic;
Utilized a breathing technique taught to me a few sessions ago by Mrs. Harmony.

Due to this, I was able to calm myself in short order to a degree such that I was able to make egress without further incident.

And in hindsight, I have to say I am quite proud of myself. Only a year before, I likely would have had a complete breakdown in the middle of a public place, followed by weeks of guilt, shame and irreversible self-loathing. It would have been a resoundingly negative experience, one which could have possibly led to me never returning to the store out of embarrassment, and that would mean having to travel much further to purchase my groceries.

I must thank Rarity later for recommending Mrs. Harmony to me.

-Twilight Sparkle

Entry #1,122

Dear Diary,

Do you remember when I mentioned a doctor appointment I hadn't been looking forward to?

Well, I have good news! Not only did it not go as poorly as I was expecting, it went really well!

You see, after the last time I went to see Doctor Horse, I told Mama about the checkup, and she asked if I had gotten my thyroid tested. She has thyroid problems, so she's a little concerned for my brother and me. But, I hadn't, even though the doctor had ordered some routine tests, and, well...

You know Mama. She's like me, she doesn't always express herself very strongly. But I could tell, she was kind of upset I hadn't asked for the test. It wasn't the first time she'd brought it up, so I can't blame her. Not really. Even if I think she expects a little too much out of me sometimes.

But that doesn't matter! Because today, before my checkup finished, Dr. Horse asked me if there was anything else I needed. And, well, he's so knowledgeable and very... matter-of-fact? I guess that's how you'd describe him. He's a little intimidating, which is why sometimes I don't speak up for myself when I need something from him.

But he asked if I needed anything, and I mentioned my thyroid and my family history, and he went ahead and ordered the test for me! I had thought he wouldn't, which is why I never said anything sooner, but he didn't seem perturbed or upset, not even a little! I had been worrying about nothing. As usual, I guess.

Mama was very proud of me for speaking up. And if I'm being honest, I'm kind of proud of myself, too. So be proud of me, Dear Diary, that's my story for today.

I always write such negative, depressing things in you, and I'm sorry about that, so I thought maybe you might like a little victory instead. I hope your day went well, too!

Yours,

Fluttershy