Cider! Cider! Cider! Cider!
Applejack wiped the sweat off her brow as she looked at the last, orange-leaved tree in the orchard, then down at the cart stacked with apples behind her. She smirked with self-satisfaction and stretched her hind legs. Even if she was one of the strongest earth ponies in Ponyville, she still had her limits. Being the Element of Honesty and a teacher at the School of Friendship on top of that, she really got her workouts during the week.
"Hoo-wee," she sighed, fanning herself with her cowpony hat, "buckin' every tree in the orchard really takes it outta ya. Ah'm sweatin' like a pig's rump in Haywaii out here!"
Nonetheless, as the head farmhoof of Sweet Apple Acres, she had a duty to fulfil. And so, she shook herself off, put her hat back on and latched herself onto the cart, rolling it back toward the large red barn in the farm's courtyard.
Despite the chilly afternoon, she had really warmed up her body. It was the middle of the last month of fall, which to her and the rest of Ponyville meant it was cider season. Having finished the last harvest until spring, the Apple family turned their famous apples into delicious cider to sell to the town, with the funds being used to get the farm through winter. She shuddered as she remembered the last time she tried to harvest the entire orchard on her own, but this time she was clever; she gave herself days at a time to buck each area of trees. Less of a rush, and an early start on making the cider. She still raised her chin high at this little idea of hers.
She pushed herself through the barn doors, where other carts stacked with mountains of apples, shiny and red like those on Applejack's cutie mark, were counted by a large red stallion and a little yellow filly. She backed her cart against the wall and unhooked herself from it.
"Whadda y'all think?" she asked. "Think we got enough this year?"
"Eeyup," the stallion, Big Macintosh said with a nod and a smile. A stallion of few words.
"We got more than enough," added Apple Bloom. "Hearth's Warmin' dinner's gonna be big this year!"
"Yeehaw!" Applejack cheered. "Havin' a lil' more spendin' bits never hurt nopony." She grunted and flexed her hind leg again. "Think Ah'm gonna rest mah legs fer a spell. Y'all gonna be alright finishin' up?"
Big Mac nodded again. "Eeyup."
Applejack grinned and walked back to the door, flinching her hoof back as it opened and an elderly green mare hobbled inside, bundled in a red sweater decorated with festive-looking apples.
"Diggin' out the Hearth's Warmin' sweaters already, Granny Smith?" asked Applejack, a nervous grin on her face at the thought of being wrestled into one again this year.
"Ain't got a choice," Granny Smith grumbled. "It's colder than apple punch in the Frozen North today!"
"Ya should'a just stayed inside," Apple Bloom said, walking over. "We've got things covered in here."
"Peh! Ah gotta make sure you youngins get the cider recipe just right." Granny Smith walked further inside the barn. "Especially with how much we've harvested this fall. Y'all gotta follow the recipe by the letter if we're gonna make enough to last this winter, and Ah'm gonna make sure y'all do it!"
The two younger ponies exchanged looks. There was no point arguing with the Apple family's matriarch.
"Oh, before Ah forget," Granny Smith went on, "Applejack, one'a yer friends is hangin' around outside lookin' fer ya. Keeps zippin' and whooshin' around like a fruit bat in summer."
Applejack rolled her eyes. She knew exactly who that was. "Alrighty, Ah'll deal with her."
Applejack stepped outside, and shivered as a cold breeze shot through her orange coat. Now that she had cooled off, she could really feel how cold it was getting. Maybe it was time to pull out the winter wear.
"There you are!" a familiar mare's voice called, and a blue pegasus landed in front of Applejack. Her rainbow mane and tail flowed in the gentle wind. She was wearing a blue and yellow Wonderbolts track jacket. "About time!"
"What're ya doin' 'round here, Rainbow Dash?" asked Applejack. "Ah know yer excited, but we ain't even started makin' the cider yet."
"I'll tell you what I'm doing here!" Rainbow Dash said, pointing an accusing hoof at her friend. "Word around Ponyville is you're the best cider drinker in town."
The earth pony chuckled, feeling her cheeks warm up. "Well, Ah don't like tootin' mah own horn, but-"
"And y'know what that sounds like to me?" the pegasus interrupted, getting close enough for her snout to press against Applejack's. "That sounds like a challenge!"
"A challenge?" Applejack repeated, stepping back and rolling her eyes. She knew where this was going.
"As in, I'm challenging you!" Rainbow went on, pointing again. "A cider-drinking contest, Shireland style! We'll find out for sure who the best drinker in Ponyville really is! And, spoiler alert: she can fly." She smirked and gave her blue wings a flutter.
Almost every part of Applejack was telling her to say no. This was such a silly idea, even for Rainbow Dash, and besides, she would be busy tending to the cider. Unfortunately for them, the biggest part of her was screaming at her to say yes. Her competitive side. She could feel excitement starting to burn inside her.
"Ya think so, do ya?" she said, returning the smirk. "Well, lucky fer you, we got more apples than ya can shake a branch at. But how do I know this ain't just a trick to get free cider?"
The Element of Loyalty gasped, putting a hoof to her chest. "Why, Applejack! I am shocked, insulted even, that you'd accuse me of something like that!" Unfortunately for her, being the Element of Honesty meant Applejack was pretty good at sniffing out lies. Her raised eyebrow and unblinking gaze caused Rainbow to falter. "Okay, that's the other reason."
Applejack softened her expression and chuckled. "Y'all are lucky Ah don't like sayin' no to a challenge. But if yer serious about it, whaddya say we make it a lil' more interesting?"
"You mean...stakes?" Rainbow Dash smirked, baring her teeth. "Alright. If I win, I get all my cider this season for free."
"Alrighty," Applejack agreed, "but if Ah win, y'all gotta help us makin' the cider. Without sippin' the lil'est drop."
"Wha-?!" yelped the pegasus. "No cider at all?! That's a little too far, isn't it?"
Now it was Applejack's turn to step forward, nose touching Rainbow's. "Y'all ain't backin' out now, are ya?"
"O-of course not!" Rainbow snorted, backing away. "Fine, you're on! Town square, tomorrow at noon!"
"Ah'll be there." Applejack turned to walk back into the barn, before turning and smirking back at her friend. "Ah should warn ya, Ah'v been buckin' pretty hard this week. Worked up quite a thirst."
"Well, you're not the only one who's ready for this," Rainbow retorted. "Might not look like it, but I've been training."
Applejack walked back into the barn, snickering as she heard Rainbow Dash groaning outside. She couldn't wait to teach her a little lesson.
The next day couldn't come sooner for Applejack and Rainbow Dash. It was the late morning, and the mares were sitting at a small table in the middle of the square, staring each other down. A crowd had gathered around them, most sporting mugs of cider provided by the stall run by Big Mac and Apple Bloom.
"You think this is a bad idea too?" asked Apple Bloom.
"Eeyup," muttered Big Mac.
"You tried to talk her out of it too?"
"Eeyup."
"No luck either?"
"Nope."
The filly sighed and put some bits inside the register. "Well, let's just hope Granny Smith ain't too mad when she finds out."
"Fillies and gentlecolts!" A mare's voice announced over a megaphone. "Hold onto your cider, because we've got a special treat to open this year's cider season! A drink-off, between two of Ponyville's best cider-guzzlers; the tree-bucking, apple-chucking farmgirl, Applejack, versus the cloud-kicking, fight-picking Wonderbolt, Rainbow Dash!"
The crowd cheered as the two mares kept glaring at each other, not blinking. That concentration was swiftly broken by a pink earth pony popping up beside them, dressed in a striped waistcoat and a fake curly moustache. The same pony who was on the megaphone just moments ago.
"Alright," she said, setting tall cups of frothing cider in front of each competitor, "I want a nice, clean game. No biting, no kicking, no spitting out, and no toilet breaks!"
Applejack shot the new mare a look. "Pinkie Pie, y'all really gotta wear that getup?"
"I'm the referee-slash-announcer-slash-bartender," said Pinkie, grinning. "Gotta look the part, otherwise what kinda drinking match would this be?"
Applejack and Rainbow Dash looked at each other and shrugged before wrapping their hooves around the cup handles. Pinkie Pie returned to the megaphone. "The rules are simple; just drink till you can't anymore! Last pony standing wins!"
Applejack cricked her neck. "Hope y'all ain't too busy fer the next few days, 'cause we got a lotta apples to juice."
"Good luck with all that," Rainbow retorted, "especially without a single bit from me."
"Now that the complimentary trash talk has finished, it's time to begin!" announced Pinkie. A hush fell over the crowd as the mares were counted in. "On your mugs...get set..." Pinkie set off her patented party cannon, letting loose a mess of confetti. "CHUG!!"
The mares lifted their mugs and poured the cold, bubbling drink down their throats, the taste of apple encouraging them onward. The first round was a breeze for both of them as they slammed their empty mugs down and wiped the froth from their mouths.
"UUURRRP!!" Applejack let out a deep, wet belch and thumped her chest. "Hoo! Y'all can still back out, Rainbow."
"You -urp!- wish," said Rainbow Dash, wings ruffling with anticipation. "That round was barely a warmup. Gimme another!"
"Make it a double!" Applejack agreed.
"Comin' up!" said Pinkie, swiftly removing the empty mugs and replacing them with full ones. Where she got them from was anypony's guess.
The mares drank and drank, egged on by the crowd's chants of "CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!" Though, not everypony in attendance was so eager.
"Honestly," sighed a snow-furred unicorn, "the things those two will do to compete with one another. And Pinkie Pie is no better, encouraging them like that."
"At least they're keeping it to themselves this time," a purple alicorn pointed out. "Remember their little field trip through the woods not too long ago?"
"Oh, I wasn't even there and I can't bear to remember it."
A butter-coloured pegasus holding a mug decided to pipe up. "They're enjoying themselves, at least."
"Well, still, there are more civilised ways to have a contest for fun." The unicorn nickered as Applejack released another belch. "And with less bodily eruptions involved."
Applejack and Rainbow Dash kept drinking and drinking, showing no sign of stopping no matter how many mugs of cider they emptied. Both mares prided themselves in their stamina, with one being a hardy farmpony from her first steps and the other being a rigorous athlete.
But of course, all that cider had to go somewhere. Both their stomachs soon started to pooch out beneath the table, sloshing and gurgling as more and more was poured into them. Burps and hiccups escaped both mouths from the buildup of carbonation, and even with how endurant they were, eventually their heads felt a little lighter as the buzz started to kick in.
"Y'all slowin' -hic!- down over there?" Applejack chuckled, a wide smirk on her muzzle.
"You worry about -URP!- yourself, farmgirl," slurred Rainbow Dash. "Gonna take more than a few ciders to keep me down!"
Pinkie crept over between the two. "Another round, ladies? Or are you ready to call it quits?" she added reluctantly, with a glance toward the snowy unicorn. Somepony had been in her ear.
"No way!" both competitors huffed. "Another round!"
"Mugs down, mares!" Pinkie announced over the megaphone. "Something I didn't think I was gonna say, because despite all these empty cider kegs," she added, sweeping her hoof toward dozens of barrels stacked on one another, "both mares are still standing! We will now wait for our judge to count the empty mugs on each side to determine the winner!"
The crowd muttered excitedly amongst themselves as a purple earth pony with grapes and strawberries for a cutie mark began counting through the mugs. She looked rather disappointed, and thirsty.
Meanwhile, Applejack pushed herself from the table, groaning as she fell onto all four hooves. Her belly was a perfectly spherical barrel between her legs, jiggling and sloshing like a hot water bottle. She and Rainbow Dash stumbled toward each other, their stares not nearly as intense as before.
"Hooope you're -hic!- ready to lose," the pegasus snickered, letting out a wet belch. "Oof..."
"Weeell," Applejack slurred, "Ah hope yer ready to -OOORRRP!!- to lose...!"
Rainbow's smirk faded, and her eyes crossed in thought. "Hey...wwwhhat were we fighting about again...?"
Applejack opened her mouth to answer, but only another burp came out. "Ah, uh...ssshhhoot, what were we fightin' about...?"
"Something about bits ooorrr...?"
"Aaaahhh really don't got a pig's -hic!- uhh, a pig's -UUURRRRRP!!- Ah got no clue, shhhhugarcube."
Rainbow snorted. "A pig's wwwhhhhat?"
"Ah don't even rrrrremember!"
Both mares leaned against each other and laughed, their smooth, spherical bellies wobbling and sloshing like water balloons with their drunken chuckles. They'd gotten so buzzed and lightheaded that the whole point of the drinking contest was lost on them; they were just happy to have a good time.
"The verdict is in!" Pinkie Pie announced, commanding everypony's attention. Even the drunken mares paused to listen, despite not being too sure what was going on. "Aaaaannnnnnd...we have a tie! Both ponies win!"
Another shot from her party cannon was enough to get the crowd cheering anyway, despite the lack of a winner.
"A tie?!" Rainbow Dash repeated, looking as angry as she could possibly get in her current state, but it faded as soon as it came. "Eeehh, jussssht as well, I can't remember why we were doing it anyway."
"Eeyup," Applejack agreed. "Heeeyyy, let'sh have another drink. Next round's on me!"
"Yooouuu're gonna need a lot more cider for another round," Rainbow mumbled. "Hooowww about I help you make some more tomorrow? I'm gonna need...some sleep before I work. And a drink before I sleep."
"Sounds like a plan to me," the earth pony agreed as Pinkie Pie gave them another mug each.
Before they could chug, their cherished drinks were whisked away by some light blue magic, and they saw the snowy unicorn scowling at them.
"I think you two have had enough for today," she insisted.
The two mares simply snatched them out of her magical grip. "We'll tell you when we've had enough!"
"Oh, suit yourselves then," she huffed and strutted away. "Ugh, I could almost use a drink myself right now."
With that, Applejack and Rainbow Dash flopped down on their flanks, their globular bellies sloshing loudly, and put their mugs together.
"BOOOOOUUUURRRRRP!!" they both belched, almost causing the ground to tremor. "Victory lap!" they cheered, before pouring another round down their throats.
