Trixie laughed her ass off as I faded back into the pre-loop world.

"Oh, sure, laugh it up. I missed the orgy."

"Hah! Don't worry. You still have most of the 'trial' to go. You haven't even finished half a month! And besides, you've got one more Element to fuck."

"...so then I said, 'Dildos? Are you crazy?'"

Pinkie and Rainbow both burst into laughter, as I walk into Sugarcube Corner.

"Oh, hey Nonny! You here to cum inside Rainbow Dash?"

"...are you here to cum inside me?" Dash says, squinting at me. Her eyes flit down between my legs, then back up toward my face, and she nods.

"Nope." I sit in one corner of Sugarcube, er, Corner, and cross my forelegs. "M'not gonna."

"Why the fuck not!?" Rainbow zooms over to my table and gets up in my face, scowling.

"You like the prequel trilogy," I say simply.

Dash deflates a bit, sinking back to the ground and grumbling. "Why does everypony say that? They act like I've got Derpies or something."

"...what?" Did I hear that right?

"Y'know. Derpies? Makes ya itch down there? You get it from not bundling up your li'l colt?" Dash says, rolling her eyes. "Get your ears checked. And your eyes, too! You clearly can't see how awesome and hot I am."

I quirk one eyebrow, tilting my head. "But...if you had derpies...wouldn't your eyes be...?"

Pinkie gasps! "ANON! How could you say something like that!? Everypony knows that's just a rumor!"

Dash is on me again in a fraction of a second. "Muffins is one of the nicest ponies I know!" she shouts. "And I'm sick of bullies who mess with her just 'cuz she can't see well!"

"I'm not a--"

"Dashie, he must be a bully!" Pinkie says with glee.

"You think so, huh?" Dash says, as she turns and grabs my shoulders. "You some kinda bully? Huh, wise guy?"

Muffins takes a deep breath. The weather's just so nice out, and she has her favorite raisin-and-oatmeal muffins to enjoy. She glances across the street, to Sugarcube Corner, where she had just bought a whole dozen--enough to last her the whole day.

"ARE YOU!? ARE YOU A BULLY!? SAY SOMETHING, YA BULLY!" Rainbow shouts, as she kicks some green pony.

"YEAH! BULLIES GET BRUISES!" Pinkie squees, as she bounces on the pony.

Muffins looks on with curiosity. She glances at her muffin, and takes a bite.

Moments later, she's on the other side of the street, happily kicking the weird green pegasus pony.

"WE'LL TEACH YOU TO MESS WITH US!" Rainbow screams.

"BULLIES! GET! BRUISES!" Pinkie growls.

"MUFFINS!" Muffins says with wholesome glee.

Author's Note

This whole chapter was an excuse to make this: