Underneath The Mistletoe Last Night (edited)
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Daddy Saw Me Smooching Apple Bloom
Underneath The Mistletoe Last Night (edited)
Hearth’s Warming is a time for many things. It’s a time of rekindled friendships, of new friendships forged, and old friendships remembered. It was also currently both the best and worst time of Diamond Tiara’s life.
Sitting at the large Apple Family table, between Big Mac and Filthy Rich were Diamond Tiara and Apple Bloom, both mares locked in a passionate kiss while a mistletoe ornament suspended by unicorn magic floating above them..
On the outside, Diamond Tiara was in heaven. Apple Bloom was kissing her, and it was an incredibly passionate kiss as well. Part of Diamond’s mind was telling her to just enjoy the kiss, let everything just sink away and ignore the other heretical voice telling her to freak out. The other more rational part of her brain was in full blown panic mode. Apple Bloom was kissing her, passionately in the middle of Hearth’s Warming dinner with both of their families in full attendance and in the room!
Granny Smith was asleep, so that wasn’t a problem, but before she involuntarily closed her eyes and began to be drawn deeper into the kiss, she saw Applejack’s jaw fall to the floor, before the farmer began to mutter under her breath and slap a hoof full of bits into a smiling Big Mac’s waiting hooves, while his heavily pregnant wife, Sugar Belle shook her head at the two siblings, muttering something about ruining the moment.
She didn’t want to risk opening her eyes to see how her father and mother were taking the scandalous scene in front of them. She could see it in her mind's eye, or at least, she did before her mind's eye started picturing Apple Bloom in silk socks and Stenson. Her mother would be red, not her normal pink coloration but red with anger, and spout out something about fillyfoolers and start on a homophobic rant to end all rants, while her father would just shake his head and say nothing, like he always did when he was disappointed.
‘How did I let it get to this?’ Diamond thought to herself as she began to sink further and further into eternal bliss. ‘I had it all planned out…’
“I HAVE IT ALL PLANNED OUT!” Diamond Tiara slammed open Apple Bloom’s door, causing the room’s only occupant to jump up with a yelp and slam her head into the book shelf above her.
“Consarn it!” Apple Bloom looked up and started rubbing the back of her head with her hoof, “Why’d ya go and do that Diamond Tiara, ya almost gave me a concussion!”
Diamond rolled her eyes and scoffed at her fillyfriend before smiling once more. “Don’t worry about, because now I’ve figured it out!”
Muttering under her breath, Apple Bloom pushed her desk chair out and stood up, giving Diamond her undivided attention. Sure she was irritated at her for barging into her room like that, but Diamond rarely barged anywhere, so whatever it is the mare had figured out must be important.
Inhaling once to let out the remaining tension and ignoring the slight at the back of her head she looked at Diamond Tiara and said, “Alright, Shoot.” She raised an eyebrow “What’s so darn important you gotta come runnin’ through here like Winona after a rabbit?”
Diamond Tiara mock gasped and put a hoof to her chest. “Did you just compare me to a dog?”
“Oh, my bad,” Apple Bloom deadpanned “Winona knocks first.”
“Okay, Okay!” Diamond Tiara threw up her hooves. “I’m sorry I barged into your room and caused you to smack your thick skull on your way too low hanging bookshelf! Happy!?”
Smiling, Apple Bloom made her way over to Diamond Tiara and pecked her on the nose which caused the pink mare to blush a furious crimson. “You are forgiven, now tell me what’s got you more riled up than Beatrice when she thinks she’s seen a snake.”
Diamond Tiara scowled at her. “Did you just compare me to a cow?”
Her marefriend snickered a little and turned around, brushing Diamonds cheek with her tail. “Ah have a whole list of barnyard animals and metaphors if you don’t start talkin’.”
Diamond Tiara sighed through her nose, letting the irritation (and slight arousal) leave her body, before she began to explain.
“I’ve finally figured out how to break the news to our families!” she exclaimed, puffing out her chest and waiting for Apple Bloom to praise her for her efforts. They had been dating for nearly a month, and neither of them had figured out a way to break the news to their families. Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle and Silver Spoon of course all knew, they were the ones who had encouraged it in the first place, but Apple Bloom's siblings and grandmother alongside Diamond Tiara’s parents were none the wiser about the whole thing.
The only other person Diamond had told was Expert Service, her family’s head butler, and even then, it was only after she had spent nearly a week freaking out over how to break the news to her own parents.
With his help she had come up with an ingenious plan to finally break it to their families and hopefully avoid any of the ridicule that came with it.
When she didn’t hear the loving praise she expected, she opened her eyes to see Apple Bloom tinkering with something on her desk again. Growling, she asked, “Didn’t you hear what I said?”
Apple Bloom looked up once more and nodded her head “Ah heard ya, but honestly you’ve been worryin about that too much.” She put what she was working on back inside her desk before swiveling her chair back to face Diamond.
“Ah’m worryin too much?!”Diamond scowled at her sudden slip into a country drawl, the scowl only deepened when Apple Bloom couldn’t cover her snicker.
“Eeyup.” Apple Bloom grinned. “Everything will work out when it works out, that’s all we need to worry about.” She leaned back in her seat, her grin widening when Diamond’s eye started twitching.
“So, what will we do when it does come out that we’re dating in your hypothetical scenario?” Diamond asked, “Your family suddenly finds out you’re a fillyfooler, what do you think will happen?”
Apple Bloom just raised her eyebrow at Diamond. “You… You do realize Applejack’s dating Rainbow Dash, right?” She didn’t let Diamond respond before continuing, “Like…for two years now. Heck, Braeburn’s about as straight as a bent pipe.”
Diamond raised her hoof and opened her mouth to retort, only to close it moments later with a loud click as she lowered said hoof to the ground.
“Apple Families got all kinds of ponies in it, Sweet Pea.” Apple Bloom giggled. “Heck, Big Mac and Granny made bets guessin when AJ and RD would get together. Ah won by the way.” She smiled. “Ah said they’d get together on the summer sun celebration three years after Cozy, Tirek and Chrysalis were beat.”
Diamond Tiara sputtered, her face red from embarrassment before she shouted “That’s not the point! What about my family? How do you think they’d react?!”
Apple Bloom lost the smile and leaned forward once more in her chair before speaking. “Ah reckon yer daddy will be alright with it, he’s a swell enough guy.” Diamond Tiara didn’t let her know that Expert Service had said the exact same thing while AB continued. “Yer mama though…”
Diamond Tiara nodded. “Exactly, which is why I have this all planned out!”
Giving her marefriend her undivided attention, Apple Bloom motioned for her to continue, giving her a small smile for encouragement. She liked to poke and prod at Diamond Tiara, but she knew that there was a time for that, and a time for serious discussion. The conversation they were having sat firmly within serious talk.
“So, this upcoming Friday is when our families renew the contracts between each other and talk about future business endeavors and such right?” Diamond questioned.
“If yer talkin about Hearth’s Warming dinner, then yes.” Apple Bloom replied sarcastically.
“I will bite you…” Diamond growled out, only to groan when Apple Bloom started wiggling her eyebrows. “ANYWAY!” she continued before Apple Bloom could embarrass her any further. “I have a foal proof plan that will allow us to break the news to both of our families, without any repercussions to our reputations.”
“If you just wanna come out of the closet, Diamond, we could just, you know…tell them?” Apple Bloom hopefully suggested only for that hope to be dashed with a frustrated shake of Diamond Tiara’s head.
“No!” she scowled “If we do that Mom will just start freaking out and shouting homophobic slurs and just generally ruin everything, we need to take this slow so she has time to acclimate to the idea, and I can’t even picture how disappointed Daddy would be…”
“You…do know you have yer dad tied around yer hoof, right?” Apple Bloom snarked. “Like, that stallion would jump off a cliff for you if you asked him, heck you bullied us for years and yer daddy kinda just ignored it because in his eyes you can do no wrong.”
“But… but…”
“Ye know, ah don’t even think ah’ve ever heard your mama talk bad about fillyfoolers once. Ah know she isn’t going to talk bad about AJ, she’d get her teeth kicked in, but isn’t Silver Spoon dating Twist, like…openly dating her, and yer mama didn’t bat an eyelash at that revelation.”
Diamond Tiara had to resist shouting at Apple Bloom. “She could be faking it, keeping up appearances since Silver Spoon’s family is one of Daddy’s investors!”
Apple Bloom sighed and rubbed her temple. “Right, ah get that your mama’s a jerk DT, ah do, but I doubt she’s a homophobe as well. If she was, she wouldn’t be living in this town, there are nearly as many gay couples here as there are straight ones. Heck I saw her crying at Lyra and Bonbons’ wedding.”
“CROCODILE TEARS!” Diamond Tiara shouted only for Apple Bloom to shove her hoof in her mouth.
“Right that’s enough of that.” Apple Bloom looked into Diamond Tiara’s eyes. “Ahma take mah hoof out of yer mouth, and yer gonna explain your convoluted plan, alright?”
Diamond nodded and Apple Bloom removed her hoof. “My plans aren’t convoluted…”
With a snort, Apple Bloom replied, “You make Scootaloo look like an amateur when it comes to convoluted DT. Now explain your plan, please, so I can get back to work?”
Taking in a deep breath, Diamond Tiara began to explain her plan in detail, while Apple Bloom listened intently before getting lost in a sea of details and unnecessary steps.
Her brain was on autopilot when she asked DT why they would need a tricycle and she barely remembered the answer she had been given. This entire interaction went on for five minutes before Apple Bloom put her hoof down with a slam, which caused Diamond to stop talking and jump out of her sitting position in fright.
“Right, well that plan was uh…” Seeing the look of hope in Diamonds eyes, Apple Bloom kept the words stupidly convoluted and oversaturated from slipping out, “...something, but Ah got a better one!”
This exclamation caused Diamond to raise a delicate eyebrow and scoff. “Oh, you have a better plan? This one took me days of back and forth with Excellent Service though…”
“Ya mean you talked and Mr.Service just nodded and said…” Apple Bloom cut her off, sat up, put her forehoof across her chest and in her snootiest old stallion voice exclaimed, “Yes madam, excellent idea madam, I do so like the use of dragon fire, madam.”
Diamond Tiara blushed but pushed forward “And you’re telling me that you came up with a better one in under a minute?” Her tone was condescending, but Apple Bloom knew she didn’t mean to be.
So instead of getting angry at the tone her marefriend had used with her, Apple Bloom smiled. “Eeyup, we can keep your plan as plan B, I’ll even get the rubber duck and sparklers, but we gotta try my simpler plan first.”
Diamond put a hoof to her chin and hummed. “You promise?” She didn’t want to let her panic show. ‘And honestly, Bloom’s the better planner between us…’
Apple Bloom gave an affirmative nod before going through the motions of a Pinkie Promise.
“Ok…fine. What’s your plan then, oh wise one?” DT asked, sitting down and crossing her forelegs in a pout.
“Well…it’s pretty simple, ah’ll tell Applejack and Big Mac about us, and they’ll back us up if anything bad happens when we tell everypony about us.”
Diamond Tiara looked at Apple Bloom for a moment. “That’s it?”
“Eeyup.”
“That’s your grand plan?”
“Eeyup.”
“But…it’s so simple…”
“The best plans normally are, DT.”
Diamond was silent for a minute after that, before sighing and nodding. “Fine, but are you sure your siblings will back us up if the worst happens?”
Apple Bloom let out an unlady like snort. “Duh, AJ’d probably bash yer Ma over the head with the table ifn she said anything, and that’s if Big Mac don’t get to her first.” She walked over to Diamond and nuzzled her cheek. “Leave everything to me, I’ll sort it out and we can finally stop dancing around like we got ants in our pants.”
Diamond giggled. “AB, we don’t wear pants… like at all.”
After a few more minutes of affection and reassurances, Diamond Tiara allowed herself to be led out of the room, too deep in her thoughts and worries to notice the smirk on Apple Bloom’s face or the bits of mistletoe that littered her table.
Friday came sooner than Diamond Tiara had hoped, and it took all of her will power to keep herself from telling Apple Bloom to forget her stupid, simple plan.
Instead she trotted in between her parents, pretending to listen to their conversation with an air of calm she didn’t feel.
With the barn of Sweet Apple Acres firmly in view, Diamond felt her anxiety skyrocket, and her Father took notice, leaning in a little while keeping one ear trained on what his wife was saying. “Are you alright sweetie?” He asked, “You look a bit pale.”
“I’m ok, daddy,” Diamond smiled, “Just a bit cold.” She made a show of snuggling further into her coat and scarf. “I can’t wait to get inside and have some of Granny Smith’s warm cider!” she whispered to her father with false cheer.
Filthy Rich smiled and nuzzled his daughter’s cheek before saying, “Well, we’re almost there so just keep a stiff upper lip!” With that he turned his attention back to Spoiled Rich and with practiced ease picked up the conversation perfectly, not missing a single detail of what his wife had said.
Soon enough they were at the front door and herded inside Sweet Apple Acres by Big Mac, who took everypony's coats and walked them all to the hearth to warm up.
Diamond took the opportunity to observe everypony in the room. Granny Smith was dozing in her rocking chair, looking a bit frazzled and thinner than she had last Hearth’s Warming. Applejack was busy hoofing out warm cider to everypony, while Rainbow Dash was missing, most likely visiting Scootaloo’s family or her own.
Big Mac was in the kitchen putting the finishing touches on dinner, while his wife, Sugar Belle, lay on the couch resting and rubbing the side of her pregnant belly. Apple Bloom was seated next to her, talking animatedly about foal names and it made Diamond smile as well as eased the tension she felt.
“Ah was thinkin’ Big Sugar,” Apple Bloom suggested, earning a chuckle from Sugar Belle.
“But what if he isn’t big, did you think of that?” Sugar Belle retorted, causing Apple Bloom to stick out her tongue.
“With how big yer getting at only 9 months? He’s definitely gonna be a big-un, just like his daddy!” She turned to yell into the kitchen. “Aint that right, Big Mac?”
Big Mac stuck his head out, an apron covering his sweater and nodded. “Eeyup!”
While Apple Bloom and Sugar Belle continued debating names back and forth, Applejack, Filthy Rich, and Spoiled Rich were talking in whispered tones off to the side.
“Ah think this’ll prolly be Granny’s last Hearths Warming…” Applejack’s whispered voice still carried her sadness and worry even though she tried to hide it. “Doc’s sayin she’s just slowin down and if anything, it’ll be peaceful, but still…it’s hard ya know?”
Filthy took a step forward and hugged Applejack. “I understand how you feel, she’s been here longer than any of us and honestly, it’ll be hard when she goes.”
Before anypony could say anything further, Granny Smith snorted awake and looked around the room. “Wazat!?” She looked at Filthy rich with squinting eyes “Wazat bout leavin, aint no pony leavin till they got some food in their belly’s!”
Despite the previous conversation topic, that got a chuckle out of everypony, and with a call of soups on the big group started making their way into the dining room. Diamond Tiara volunteered to help Granny Smith get up, who mumbled about not needing any, but still accepted the offer anyway.
Diamond brought the Apple Matriarch’s walker to her, and helped her get a good grip on it
“Thank ye kindly, these ol’bones aint as spry as they used to be.” Granny Smith gave her a gummy smile which Diamond nervously returned.
“Thank you, Ma’am.”
“None of this here ‘Ma’am’ nonsense!” Granny Smith weakly flicked Diamond on the nose “Why, yer practically family!”
This sudden exclamation caused Diamond to shoot the old mare a look and stutter out, “W…what do you mean?”
“I remember your Grandpappy, youngin. I watched yer Pa play with my Bright Mac when they were Youngins and I watched how you and Apple Bloom grew closer over the years, Granny Smith knows things.” Her eyes seemed to bore into Diamond Tiara’s soul with that last statement.
Before she could ask the ancient mare to elaborate further, they were seated at the table, and dinner progressed as it usually did each Hearth’s Warming. Applejack and Diamond’s parents were busy shooting ideas at each other, Big Mac was fussing over Sugar Belle who was smiling and trying to get him to not fuss over her, and Apple Bloom was busy trying to sooth Diamond Tiara’s growing anxiety by rubbing her thigh under the table, which wasn’t helping.
Dinner ended, desert was brought out and soon that too was gone, and with everything winding down, it was getting to be time to leave. Diamond’s anxiety began to wane, did Apple Bloom change her mind? Were they not going to go through with the plan after all?
Alas that wasn’t to be, the sound of a jingling bell filled Diamond Tiara’s ears and she looked around for the source of the noise. She couldn’t find it anywhere in the room, and it wasn’t until Apple Bloom poked her and caught her attention by pointing up with her hoof that she noticed it.
There, dangling innocently between her and Apple Bloom was a little floating mistletoe, sparkling in light blue unicorn magic, coming from none other than a smiling Sugar Belle herself.
At that moment anxiety evolved into full blown panic as she looked at Applejack and Big Mac, who both looked a little confused about what was going on, a look that was shared by her parents when she caught their eye as well.
That confusion was doubled, when Apple Bloom pounced, planting her lips firmly on Diamond’s.
After that bombastic display of public affection, everypony was caroled back into the living room, well almost everypony, Sugar Belle had helped Granny Smith to bed and gave Diamond a wink before heading upstairs herself, but the two Apple Siblings and her parents were still in the living room.
Diamond didn’t know what to do.
Her parents were looking at her, and she was looking down and she didn’t know what to do.
Apple Bloom was sitting next to her, trying to pretend that she hadn’t caused the awkward situation to begin with.
Applejack and Big Mac sat to the right of Spoiled Rich, each of them sporting different facial expressions, though Diamond had long interpreted that their expressions were more towards each other than the newly revealed couple.
Big Mac had a big grin on his face, probably from all the bits Applejack had forked over to him, while AJ was busy grumbling into her hat, so all in all she assumed that they weren’t all that worried about the entire situation.
Her parents though…
“So, how long has this been going on?” Her mother’s voice finally caused her to look up and at her parents' faces.
Her father had his business face on, and was firmly not looking at her, instead he was looking at Apple Bloom. Well looking was…too nice of a term, glaring was more like it. Her mother looked…fine which was surprising to Diamond, but she knew her mom had the best poker face in Equestria and was probably just hiding her rage and hatred behind that.
“About a month, ma’am,” Apple Bloom answered before Diamond Tiara could.
A swift “Damn” followed by the clinking of more bits could be heard as Applejack hoofed over more bits to her older brother, who’s smile only grew wider.
“Oh, it’s ma’am now is it? Not Spoiled?” Her mother smirked at Apple Bloom, who shrugged but didn’t answer.
“I don’t like it.” Came her daddy’s swift reply, though he was silenced by a smack to the back of the head.
“Hush dear,” Spoiled then looked at Diamond Tiara. “Are you happy?”
Diamond couldn’t believe this was happening but nodded anyway, hoping everything that was going on was just a trippy dream brought on by bad cider.
“Then you shouldn’t complain, our daughter’s happy and dating one of our shareholders.” Spoiled looked at her husband with a raised eyebrow, who sat back and crossed his forelegs like a petulant child.
“She shouldn’t be dating anyone…no one’s good enough for my princess…” her father grumbled.
“No,” Spoiled glared at Apple Bloom. “No one is, but at least it’s somepony we know. Imagine if it was some punk from Manehatten.”
“Wait wait!” Diamond interrupted, looking between her parents. “You…don’t care that I’m…you know?”
Spoiled raised an eyebrow. “Dating one of our shareholders?”
Filthy raised his hoof. “I do care, and I object on principle!” That earned him another smack.
“No! You don’t care that I’m…” she trailed off again, causing her mother to tilt her head.
“Dating someone far below your station?” Spoiled asked, causing all three Apple Siblings to glare at her and Diamond Tiara to exhale through her nose in irritation.
“No, dammit! Gay!” she screeched “You don’t care that I’m gay?!”
That caused Spoiled and Filthy to look at each other, before looking at Applejack, before looking at Diamond once again. “Sweetie, you do realize Applejack’s gay, right?” Filthy Rich asked with a raised eyebrow.
Diamond Tiara tried to sink further into the couch when Apple Bloom shouted, “AH TOLD HER THAT!” while Applejack just nodded and said, “Eeyup.”
Spoiled added, “And you do remember that I cried at Lyra and Bonbon’s wedding, correct? Or that nearly sixty percent of Barnyard Bargains clientele are homosexual? Come on, dear, we tested you on that when you were four!”
Diamond Tiara was luckily too far inside the couch cushion to see her marefriends face, but she pictured it as smug.
“Ah told you we didn’t need no convoluted plan.” Apple Bloom's smug voice filtered through the couch cushions, alongside her father’s laugh.
“Oh, dear Celestia, did it involve a fire extinguisher and various acrobats?”
“Eeyup, she pulled out all the stops.” Apple Bloom replied, which caused Filthy to chuckle and caused Diamond to try and dig herself out of the couch and towards Saddle Arabia.
Though her dignity was bruised from the experience, she’d have to remember to listen to Apple Bloom’s intuition more often.
With that she stepped out from under the couch cushions, only to catch her father glaring once more at Apple Bloom, his former good mood gone, and his business face locked firmly into place.
“Now, what are your intentions towards my daughter?”
Author's Note
*Horses are Pregnant for 11-12 months
This was written for a few reasons.
The Image I found was cute and summoned the muse inside me.
I needed something to help me get out of my writers block for a Sunset Across the Galaxy.
The only real Romance Fic I wrote before this was Underneath the Shimmering Moon Almost 6 Years ago, so I wanted to try my hand at it again.
Because I'm a moron this was written within the span of 5 hours from 1am-6am
