Endeavor

by Link02

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Sad, Romance
Length: 4932

To escape to a better future.

When faced with depression, the only way to escape is by yourself, even if you feel like you have no motivation to do so. It's difficult, but you need to find out what you want in life before you can reach out and get it.

Note: This should not be considered an 'every day' work of fiction. Don't judge on the OC tag alone.

Contains suggestive themes.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-22 12:59:49 UTC

I sit

On my bed, I sit.

I sit there and think.

I think hard, but the thoughts move away.

The cutie mark upon my flank has lost meaning to me. I remember why it's there, I just don't care. I don't care for what I used to be and I've become an outcast. Nopony's fault but my own. As time passed I lost the motivation and the interests I once had. I used to want to soar through the skies and conquer the clouds above, bringing with me a thousand other ponies to all follow behind. Now, I live the life of a grounder, in a house, somewhere on the outskirts of a town I can't remember. The ponies I've met in life have all come and gone, never to be heard from again.

I look out of the bedroom window from where I sit and I see a blue sky, Celestia's sun peeking at high noon up above. I cast my gaze towards the town and the townsfolk that make their usual routine trip around the town. The baker goes to the library; the lyre pony plays a concert for the foals; the grey pegasus goes to his workshop, grumpy as usual; the red unicorn goes shopping and the flute player makes her way to Canterlot. Just the usual things I've noticed and picked up on as routine for these ponies. Not much else I'd like to do these days and time enjoyed wasting away isn't necessarily wasted time.

Leaning forward, letting all four hooves touch the floor, I get up from my bed. I head downstairs to check the kitchen for something to eat. I don't keep track of when I go out to get food, I just go out to fetch some resources when it looks like I'm running low. My living has come down to relying upon the savings I made before I happened upon this predicament. To another, this would feel like a vacation from a busy life, but to me it is just a deep pit I've found myself stuck in. I've made attempts to clamber out of this mess but I never got far.

I gather together some vegetables and open the one bag of bread I have left and put together a tomato and lettuce sandwich. Not too shabby. Eating it, I'm temporarily relieved of hunger.

I look around the kitchen for my monkey hat and after having found it upon the kitchen door, I place it upon my head, hopes set on that it magically helps me to come up with an idea on how to spend my day. I pace around the kitchen, thinking and waiting as nothing comes to mind. I take it off and place it on the work-surface, looking back at it with it's beady eyes of wisdom glistening in the sunlight that makes it past the kitchen window's blinds. It then slips off of the work-surface as I placed it too near the edge, so I pick it back up again and place it on the hook upon the door.

Exiting the house soon after, I close the door behind me and look towards the town with tired eyes. I stretch out my wings, roll my shoulders and rub my eyes with a fore-hoof, getting the sleep out of them. I begin making way down the long-forgotten dirt path that had once led other ponies to my abode as I head towards the town.

I watch

I have made it to the town market as I continue to watch countless numbers of ponies from all walks of life make their way through town to do their business, whether it is to meet up with some friends or it's to go out and buy a muffin or two, you'll find everypony here. So many bizarre personalities living all together in such a town. One would wonder how they all fit together or even managed to get along with one another. I suppose everypony found something they click and roll with. Well, perhaps not everypony. The younger ponies were still doing their best to find their ambitions for life, similar a situation to the one I have found myself stuck in.

I came to the decision that I needed to find some temporary work in order to get some experience under my wing before I could tackle a paying job. I did some work experience several years ago, but the work I did then wouldn't count towards anything in these parts. Such jobs were covered already and there wouldn't be room for more.

I could travel, but I was never really a pony to go travelling very far. I preferred to keep to the airspace nearby and not to venture too far from home in case I got lost and tired. Even if I had a map, there was always the risk that something bad might happen. With what's happened over recent years, such risks have increased over time. Pegasi became worrisome about clearing the clouds and few workers have been seen exiting Cloudsdale recently. Luckily, there's still that local Pegasi who bears one of the Elements of Harmony to help keep the skies clear. She was probably the only pony to ever come close to my house in recent times, but it'd only be because she had a work shift to cover, clearing the clouds away from town when clear skies were necessary.

I find that clouds are the only thing that put my thoughts at ease and help me to relax.

I grew curious as to why that pegasus would cover this area, in the far outskirts of town, when there would always be a change as to which pegasi go where. Pegasi would always cover different locations each week as a means to make sure no funny business was going on between the on duty pegasi and the locals below. Could this be considered 'funny business' or is she the only one allowed clear these parts? Oh well... I'll leave that hanging in the air for now.

So here I am in the town market of Ponyville as the sign here reminded me.

I was never really good at remembering names...

After having watched ponies make their way past me, I head towards the carrot stall and so I begin my daily dose of socialization with other ponies as means to build up my self-confidence. Unfortunately for me, the mare usually working the stall seems to be away, 'Taking a break' as the sign posted up on the side says.

I decided to sneak around the back of the stalls towards the houses they resided by and found the mare with a mug in hoof, clearly looking to be slightly worn as the day's heat becomes apparent to me as I find my feathers ruffling out to get some fresh air to clean up some sweat that was building up on the way here.

I wave towards her, garnering her attention as she looks back at me wearily.

"Hey. Just taking a break back here for a bit. Left a sign up on the stall in case you missed it."

"No, I noticed. Just checking on how you were. ...pretty hot day today, huh?"

"Hmm."

She glances up and away from me, taking another sip from her mug. Sensing the awkward silence, I decided to leave her be and go browse the market some more. I swear I felt her gaze on the back of my flank as I left. Not the sensual kind but the creepy kind. I lightly quickened my pace as I made my way to the front of the stalls and looked around for the pony selling tomatoes. Goddess I loved those. One of the few things left in life I could say that about.

Now where was his stall?

I wait

Looking up to Luna's starry night sky up above, I wait for the world to stop turning to give me the time I need to gaze upon such celestial beauty.

A year has passed and a few things have happened during that time, yet I prefer to look towards the days ahead. The experiences brought about the joys and sorrows of life in varying contrast of colours and shades.

I first received a letter one day informing me that there was a need for my 'special wood'. Obscure and cheek-reddening it may have been towards the start, as I read on I soon realized that the sender was referring to the Everfree trees that had grown freely on the grounds of my abode - the request for Everfree timber had been made by a wealthy, anonymous pony who had signed the letter by the name 'C.C.'

These were the only Everfree trees that would grow from outside of the forest and I had chosen to live my life within these grounds as I would keep watch and let them be, protecting them if need be. That never had been the case as these trees were to never be touched by the irregularities that would occur all across Equestria.

The Everfree Forest had magical properties that stemmed from the enchanted roots of the many trees that inhabited the land. The weather above the canopies would be subject to strange abnormalities that would cause clouds to move of their own free will, abiding to none but themselves. Those very same clouds would be recreated above the trees me and my house took residence beneath.

Being outside the bounds of the Everfree Forest itself, the purchase of lumber from these trees had been made legal as confirmation was made that despite the origins of these trees, they had managed to differentiate themselves from the trees forbidden by both Luna and Celestia's law. The magical properties of the trees within the Everfree had proven dangerous, having helped to generate the many perilous dangers that lied within, whether the effects of such dangers were the cause of residual spell properties or from the fauna that would encompass the entire forest, stemming from the very trees those of my own had come to call their ancestors.

Princess Luna herself had paid me and my home a visit about nine months ago to discuss matters regarding these trees, having been occupied over recent times since her return to her sister's side on the Royal Thrones to once again govern the land together, sisters reunited from a millennium's worth of time spent apart from one another. Equestria had rejoiced, but I had not been part of the jubulous acts that day upon her return. I had pressing matters at the time which to this day I still wish not to disclose with any other being - princess or not.

Two weeks had passed since I had received the letter and I had sent a reply a week earlier informing them that their request was granted, having been given the details on what they planned to use the lumber for and how they were going to use it. Insurance had been given alongside their reply back to me within a second letter, giving me the funds I needed to live on for the next eight months. Even with all those bits, I still knew better and that I needed to get out more frequently and communicate with other ponies.

I just... didn't really have the luck of being entirely socially acceptable over those past few months prior to the letter. Ever since those darn rumours were started by the mare that ran the carrot stall in the town market. It surprisingly didn't take long for those rumours to be cast aside and proven false as the baker I came to know as Pinkie Pie had provided a substantial amount of evidence to prove me innocent of the lies that had been spread from stall mare's mouth. Me and Pinkie became acquainted and I grew to enjoy her company, but I still preferred the quiet I had by myself at home among the trees on the outskirts of Ponyville.

The mare who I'd spoken to on that one day, from behind the stalls - the one who would then turn out to be responsible for those rumours - the one who I'd thought to have been a favoured customer of... I couldn't bring myself to forgive her for her actions... not fully at least.

I know I shouldn't feel hatred towards other ponies... but... it's just so hard not to sometimes, you know?

I had made my attempts to find out what was wrong and what her problem was with me, but I never managed to figure out what she had against me after all this time. Was it something I said? Did I promise something that I'd forgotten? No... I don't forget things easily, despite my wanting to turn away from the past.

Upon my return trip home from picking up supplies from the market, having been on the receiving end of the glares that would not stop coming from the carrot stall's owner as per usual, I managed to get back home with the supplies I needed to cook up something good.

Never before had I stopped to think of how long I had been without carrots... despite receiving a basket of various fruits and vegetables, including the carrots my eyesight and taste-buds had been missing, from an anonymous source once every few weeks or so. I had just left it down to curious ponies being curious and I was thankful for the 'offering' as I soon came to call them.

This place sure does seem like a shrine of sorts the more I look at it from outside the area...

Anyway, as I came home with supplies in my saddlebags I saw a rather tantalizing sight - a unicorn mare of dark violet hue with mane and tail of black. I began to sweat through my coat as the feathers of my wings began to flicker about from their tight hold, responsible for the secure grip of the saddlebags on my back, that had soon managed to slip off from one side as vegetables began to drop out and roll along the path - a short distance between the mare and myself, causing her to notice my presence. Darn my eyesight and a diet without carrots! I hadn't noticed the distance between us until I had rubbed my still-weary eyes to get a clearer view of such a lovely-looking mare.

She was noticeably young, but not too young a mare, looking to be only two or three years below my age taking in to consideration the build of the average mare for that age. I was never a pony with preference over interests, especially in this department of things, but this mare shone out more-so than I had noticed from Luna herself, celestial beauty she may be, it just could not compare from what I saw at that very moment. I had been shaking on my hooves and it didn't take me long before I noticed it myself. She giggled, having probably noticed before me of my nervousness as she made her approach, giving off a sense of calmness, causing me to relax the closer she drew.

'Well... hello there! Um... I'm guessing that you are... Mr. Silvermane?', she said as she began to help me with gathering up some of the dropped goods, placing them back in the according pockets of my saddlebags.

Dropping all the items in my grasp at the sound of her voice, '...oh! Uh, yes! Skylight Silvermane, reporting for du-', I cut myself short, having realized what I was saying off of impulse.

The last time I had felt this way around a mare was several years back, when I still had a job to do guarding the borders of Equestria. I'll leave that story for another time.

The mare I had been struggling to make conversation with was beginning to get nervous herself and I briefly noticed as a hoof pawed at the ground, her gaze cast to the ground towards her side. She had managed to place all of the remaining items in my saddlebags in such a brief amount of time that I hadn't noticed in my state of shock from having realized how much of a dumb-flank I was being, only to soon realize that I had just become an even bigger one, having let her do the rest on her own without my assistance. I spent the next minute and a half apologizing sincerely at my lack of courtesy.

Waving a hoof, she informed me that it was fine and that I need not worry about it, considering what I was due to give her.

Only a few feet away, she introduces herself. 'The name's Cumulus Clarity. I... sent the letter about the timber?'

'Oh... Oh! You're the anonymous pony?'

'Yup!', she replies as she bounces lightly in place on the tips of her hooves, admittedly cute.

'...and you came here looking for wood.'

Less of a question and more of a statement as I continue, lightly sweating in place.

'Yes siree!', a smile spread across her face, eyes closed happily as she continued to hop about, getting closer to me.

'The legal, Everfree kind?', I ask as I draw my head back at her closeness only inches apart now.

'Aren't they just magical~?', she says as she leans on to me, rubbing her neck along my own as her gaze draws along the canopies of the trees overhead. 'It must be so much fun to live life here!'

'Technically, they're limited on the magic juice, so it's relatively safe to live within these parts with a permit of course, so no "big, magical adventure starts here" kinda stuff. But you'd know that already, being the pony purchasing, correct?'

'Yup! That's me!, she replies yet again, rubbing herself along my side.

Feeling both increasingly nervous and aroused, I question her closeness.

'Uh... what's with all the affection you're giving me...? It's... kinda creepy', I lie.

'Oh! Sorry!', she smiles looking a slightly lighter shade of violet around the cheeks, 'My dad was a pegasus and... my mother's a unicorn, so... you know how it is.'

'Actually, I'm not sure I quite understand... but I'll leave it for the time being', I state with a brazen look upon my face, knowing all to well the secret habits of male pegasi, being one myself.

Having settled in with our conversation that grew slightly suggestive over time, whilst somehow managing to maintain the professionalism between contractor and employer, we came to an agreement on the terms and conditions our contract had for the request of legal Everfree timber.

'Shall we?'

'We shall.'

...and so work began.

I work

Struggling to get up first thing in the morning, I had to be out the door by sunrise to meet up with Cumulus, whom I spotted trotting up the path towards my house. Going downstairs, I gathered together a few fresh apples from the kitchen for the day ahead, placing them in to the spare pouch of my saddlebags. The regular spaces were taken up with documentations and some of my tools.

Certainly, it wasn't one of my specialties in life as it was when bestowed upon those granted such a cutie mark of the lumberjack trade, but it was only I that could securely turn the Everfree timber in to lumber for practical purchase. I was far from being considered a master of the trade as some lucky ponies were out there, but I was learning and getting along with the wood reasonably well at my own pace.

Over time I would become more connected with these trees and more understanding of them than those I'd hold close to my heart. Despite having a library's worth of information in my head about the Everfree Trees, there was still a lot to learn - especially from the trees that surround my home.

I could have hired a well-trained lumberjack to be my apprentice, instructing them on how to care for these trees when doing their job, but doing it myself gives me a stronger sense of bonding with the trees, also giving me something more to do with my time.

Exiting the house, I spot Cumulus standing relatively still - knees wobbling, as she smiles a nervous smile towards me. Concerned, I make my way towards her, pacing as I go as I didn't want to startle her in case she was feeling nervous about seeing me rather than something else.

'Could... use a bit of help!', she gasps out a bit breathless.

It is then I notice the saddlebags she'd been carrying with her. I couldn't believe how distracted I had been by her nervous appearance that I hadn't taken notice of the predicament she was in. I sprint the rest of the way towards her, reaching to keep her steady, holding her up by a forehoof as the saddlebags on her back slip slowly off her side. I hold her up in an embrace with my supporting forehoof as the other reaches around her back to lift the saddlebags up from their slip-slide escapade.

Having completely misjudged the weight of the saddlebags that were on her back, I stumble backwards, backpedaling as the the pressure on me had become near-unbearable, causing me to fall over backwards. Cumulus, having been lifted up by the motion, had landed on top of my overturned form, resting herself upon my stomach. Her saddlebags skidded past the side of my head, a loose apple from one of the now-open pouches rolling towards the side of my head. I halt the apple's perilous journey, holding it between my teeth as I look up sheepishly to Cumulus who began to giggle as she slowly leaned down towards me and with half-lidded eyes she took a bite from the apple, licking her lips after having swallowed the chunk she took out.

Looking at her from that position had proven maddening as my senses began to flare, yet I kept a cool head and only allowed the few sweat drops to slide down the side of my face as she did so. Some of the apple juices having spilled from her mouth and on to my cheeks were cleared up alongside the sweat with a long lick of her tongue, running up my neck. She smiles as her eyes open fully again before winking at me, my façade clearly having come apart during the action as I felt my cheeks burn like the sun that's rays were peeking past the canopies up above, almost as if Celestia herself had been spying upon the whole thing.

I watch as her body bounces off of my own as she bounds overhead, leaving me with a rather clear and... enticing view, as her tail whooshes just behind, flicking at my face as it went.

I roll over, my four hooves splayed across the path as the remaining part of the apple falls from my now jaw-dropped open mouth, my gaze drawn to her swaying tail as she makes the rest of the way towards my house, stopping to look back, giggling at me and my position.

Getting up, I thank Celestia that none of the goods in my saddlebags had been crushed by the fall and the added weight had their been any. It came to me in realization that Cumulus was very light on her hooves for a reason; she was near-weightless herself. She would provide but a simple, gentle touch that could only ever hold the weight of emotions that it provided, but never the physical weight itself.

Over the next few days we would get to know each other as work with the trees progressed, turning Everfree timber in to lumber and having a few breaks here and there from working amongst the trees.

She was a playful, cheerful and an all-around happy mare who would always make my days that used to be spent alone leagues better than before. Each day she would bring with her some goods she purchased at the town market, mainly apples, flour, sugar and jars of custard amongst a whole range of other ingredients.

It became a habit of mine to help her out as she volunteered to cook some meals for us whenever it came around to lunch time and towards the end of our work days together. Apple crumble and custard was by far the most enjoyable (and may I add fun) dishes we ever made together.

She would on occasion, given my permission, invite some friends with her on the trip here. It gave us a lot more hooves to work with if they were willing to volunteer, but they would be working with the smaller jobs for the time being. Cumulus would keep her eye out for them to make sure no funny business was going on. Not that she didn't trust her own friends to cause trouble but because of what they could've been up to when we weren't watching ...if you catch my drift.

Despite having peeked on them and their... private antics (between my trees, no less), before being dragged away, teeth on the tail by Cumulus that one time, her friends proved to be an otherwise pleasant and helpful bunch to be around, albeit leaving me having to face a few awkward situations by the end of some days where Cumulus would just give them a stern yet silent gaze before wearing a triumphant grin, her friends' heads drooping to the ground apologetically, explaining what they had done, often leaving me feeling at the rate it was going, my coat would just become a permanent shade of red. I would scold them for their actions, but I couldn't bring myself to go out of my way to stop their fun entirely. It was nature's course as it were and I was never originally one against it. Cumulus would over time come to agree.

The job, having come to completion, was a great experience for all involved and we all came to know each other a lot more.

The day after the job was all done and finished, we had planned a night out in Ponyville to attend a party that was being put together by Pinkie Pie. She would be hosting a double party in celebration of two events; the 'Congratulations on getting engaged!' party and the 'Congratulations on a job well done!' party. Of course, the majority of the ponies attending were to celebrate the former, but that didn't stop the confectioner (as she had corrected me) from coming over to our far less-crowded area to celebrate with us.

We had a great time all together, being the first party I'd had fun attending as everyone else was clearly more relaxed and eased in to the flow of things than I was at first. Pinkie Pie had started bringing in more... surprise party games as the night went on. To say the least, by midnight, both parties were equal in terms of level-heads. Even the lavender unicorn Pinkie introduced to us as Twilight Sparkle over at the opposite party who was claiming herself to being a responsible drinker had begun to lose her sense of things, before loosing balance and tumbling down on to a heap of three other ponies who had collapsed from either exhaustion or intoxication.

I wasn't against others drinking but I chose to opt out when offered glasses by both a tipsy Pinkie Pie and Windy Pipes, one of Cumulus' friends who she had yet to introduce but was attending the other party. Eventually, I would be offered a glass by Cumulus herself. Despite self-reasoning, the pouting look on her face caused me to cave in as I would drink a glass... then another... and another... and there goes the neighbourhood.

I feel

It's the early hours of a weekend morning and I probably should spend this time getting back to sleep, but I feel restless as I am plagued by a sense of dread. The previous day, I happened upon the most obnoxious... wait, let me check that in my dictionary... okay - The most obnoxious pony I had ever met. The baker pony... the sheer, terrifying determination to make a pony such as myself smile. One shudders to imagine what inequine thoughts lie behind that facade... what dreams of chronic and sustained partying?

She had dragged me and a few other ponies off of the street to join a birthday party she was putting together for another resident of the town. Apparently, this is a highly regular occurrence in Ponyville from what I was told by Mystery Blue Maned Pony Number One who was on the zipping ride with me. The baker successfully managed to run on her hind legs, as the few ponies, myself included, were caught in her grasp, flailing in the wind. I dared not question what was going on, lest my neck and the necks of others caught in the mare's grasp suffer injury from the sudden distraction I could have made for her.

My thoughts linger before I sigh deeply, letting them all flow out and in to the stale air around me; a small reminder that I should open the bedroom window and let the cool air in. I yawn as tiredness soon takes its toll after thinking back on it all, making my way back to bed to return to the land of sleep.