Friendship in a Bottle

by overdonefictions

Friendship in a Bottle

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"Hello?"

"Twi? Is that you?"

"Applejack? Where are we?"

"I'm on a boat!"

"But where is this? We aren't on the ocean."

Out of the corner of her eye, Twilight spotted Pinkie Pie with her face pressed against the wall.

"Pinkie Pie! What are you doing?"

"We're in a glass bottle Twilight! Isn't this cool?"

Pinkie Pie smeared her face across the glass, all the way over to Twilight.

"Pinkie, this isn't cool. We don't know why we're here and-"

"Does anypony really know why we're here, maybe there's some-"

"Pinkie Pie. Don't start that."

"Okay..."

Twilight examined the ship. It was a large flagship. The sails were impeccably made. They looked as if they were flowing in the wind. The flag was clearly Equestrian. The cannon hatches were all open, revealing the massive artillery. She examined the ship further, all the way up to the prow, there sat Rarity, holding herself up in front of the figurehead.

"Look Twilight! I'm a seapony!"

"Get down from there. It's dangerous."

"Twilight, you're too concerned, I won't FAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLL! Oof."

Yep. Rarity fell, and she broke her ankle.

"I told you so."

"Twilight. Go find Fluttershy, she'll know what to do." Rarity begged in a rather pathetic manner.

"Fine."

New Quest! Find Fluttershy!

"What was that? Rarity, did you do that?"

"Just ignore it, it's probably nothing."

Music started playing in the background. Adventurous and propelling. It stopped abruptly, like it needed to loop.

"Twilight!"

"What is it Pinkie Pie?"

"I just wanted to let you know, don't expect any more music, it was just some guy playing out a joke."

"Oookay."

Twilight continued looking around the outside of the ship. She heard pirate noises and immediately concluded that it was Rainbow Dash. She looked up into the crow's nest and found herself to be correct. She saw that Rainbow Dash had Fluttershy tied up. Great.

"Um...Rainbow Dash...could you let me go?"

"Neigh miss, ye'll make a fine wench fer me new pirate ship! Yar har har!"

Fluttershy looked away and mumbled to herself "I'm not a wench..."

Twilight teleported onto the deck. Rainbow Dash abruptly cried out.

"Ach! We've been boarded! First Mate Applejack, get her and throw her in the brig!"

"Ah ain't helpin' y'all."

"Traitor! I'll have ye walk the plank once I'm done with the enemy!"

Rainbow Dash flew down from the crow's nest. Pinkie abruptly popped up.

"Twilight! Remember how I said not to expect any more music? I was wrong. there's another joke ahead."

"Pinkie what are you talking about?"

Encounter!

Twilight quickly dodged a strike from Rainbow Dash. She retaliated by putting her in a shield. RD couldn't get out! Or so Twilight thought. Rainbow Dash pulled out a cutlass and tore through the bubble. She lunged at Twilight again. Twilight hit her with an ethereal fist and Rainbow Dash fell to the floor.

Twilight had beaten her. Rainbow Dash sat up, placing a hoof on her nose.

"Gosh Twilight. It was just pretend, you didn't have to hit me."

"Sorry Rainbow Dash. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"It's okay."

Twilight ascended the crow's nest. She untied Fluttershy, who when freed, promptly floated down to the deck.

Everypony except Rarity was on deck now. Twilight looked over her friends, who were all in generally good shape.

"Fluttershy, Rarity broke her ankle, can you go help her?"

"I can try."

Fluttershy floated down to the glass bottom of the bottle. Twilight decided to explore the ship. Maybe even look for a way out.

Twilight started in the captain's quarter's. She opened the door and looked inside. There was a large oak desk and a globe along with several paintings. There were several pieces of papyrus in a crate. There was a large wardrobe with gilded handles. Twilight opened it and found it to be empty. Every other container Twilight searched was empty. She left the captain's quarters to head below decks.

Below decks it was dark and dreary. Twilight cast a light spell and looked around. Several barrels filled the room. all of them were empty. Twilight stopped. Somepony was behind her, breathing down her neck.

"SUPRISE!"

"Pinkie! Why did you sneak up on me?"

"Well I came down here to see the cannons and then I saw you in the dark and couldn't resist sneaking up on you!"

"Pinkie. Don't touch the cannons."

Pinkie skipped over to a cannon. She grinned at Twilight.

"Pinkie. Don't do it."

Pinkie Pie reached out with a hoof.

"Touch."

Pinkie immediately lit the fuse and fired off the cannon. Which happened to be filled with confetti. She gasped in excitement.

"PARTY CANNONS!"

Twilight decided to go one deck lower and leave Pinkie Pie to her cannons.

At the bottom of the ship was a combination of the crew's quarters and storage. All the barrels and crates were empty. The hammocks looked comfortable. Twilight figured she wouldn't have a problem sleeping here if they couldn't escape by sundown. There wasn't really much here at all. Twilight headed up to the main deck again.

On the main deck, Twilight looked out over the prow. From there, she could see the bottle neck. The slope up to it was quite steep, they'd never be able to climb it. They'd have to wait until help came.

"Alright, everypony onto the deck. I have something to announce." Twilight spoke loudly

"What're y'all announcing Twilight?"

"It has been many days now, and we're all starving, correct?"

"Right." everypony spoke in unison

"To solve this problem I have decided we will draw straws to see who gets eaten. Does anypony have a problem with this?"

Fluttershy quietly spoke "Well...ponies don't eat meat...so it would just make us sick...and we couldn't cook the meat...so we'd be even more sick...I really don't think this is a good idea."

Twilight scolded Fluttershy. "Shut up. We're hungry. This will be filling for a little while."

Fluttershy shrank back, but nodded in agreement. Twilight held the straws in her hoof.

"Whoever draws the shortest straw loses."

Each pony grabbed a straw. They held them up. Applejack got shortest.

"Now hang on y'all...we don't have to do this."

Twilight looked at Applejack. "Now Applejack, drawing straws is universally accepted as fair. We'll tell your family you died bravely, or something like that."

A tingling distracted them all from eating Applejack. A long stick reached into the bottle. The ponies all quickly descended down the side of the ship. They all reached the stick and began climbing out of the bottle. AJ scowled at Twilight once they were outside.

"Ah can't believe y'all would've eaten me! We're the freakin' Elements of Harmony! If we're the shining examples of Ponykind, I'd hate to be stuck in there with anypony else."

"You're right AJ. I've got a letter to write now."

Dear Princess Celestia,

Today I learned that Applejack will not uphold the code of "Drawing Straws", so if you are ever on a deserted island with her, or in some other situation where there is no food, don't even try to be fair. Just eat her.

Your student,

Twilight Sparkle