The Hyper-Realistic Equestrian Experience

by Element of Power

Rating: teen
Tags: Main 6, Discord, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Death, Human, Comedy, Random, Violence
Length: 1728

Enjoy the plot line of a Human in Equestria, but with realistic detail! (Sponsored by Discord)

Enter Random Human! Discover the experience of an Equestria that isn't tailored to let the human win. WHAT COULD GO WRONG!

(Ad sponsored by Discord™, the Lord of Chaos, not to be confused with Discord. Many things can go wrong, including and not limited to: Death, disease, loss of limbs, loss of vision, and insanity. Any and all injuries and/or negative repercussions are not the responsibility of Discord™. Any complaints about this policy must be taken to CEO Fluttershy. Please do not tell Fluttershy.)

Published 2020-04-08 00:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-04-08 00:20:01 UTC

Start Simulation

Anyone watching the news would see the harrowing story about random people disappearing in the middle of the day. Multiple pieces of footage show citizens disappearing in a flash of light. It seems to be happening in a random order, with no clear purpose. Investigators are stumped. They too, are disappearing.
...
A tree in the Everfree forest shook and twisted, transforming into Discord. He shook off a few leaves before zooming through the air, his eyes searching in different directions. He came to an abrupt stop as he hit a tree. "This spot will do!" He shook the swirls out of his eyes, then he snapped his lion paw.

In the air, above the lush, but dark forest in the land Equestria, a human appeared in a puff of smoke. Unfortunately, he didn't have time to look around, because he promptly plummeted to the ground, and landed with a loud thud. Then he died.

"Dammit!" a frustrated Discord yelled. The draconequus sat in the air, right next to the broken human. "That's a shame. I should start them off lower. Next Human!" he snapped his fingers and imploded away.

Another human appeared in the spot Discord was just floating above, except with his feet planted firmly on the ground. Taking a look around, he was shaking in fear. His legs wobbled faster and faster. Before he could take a step, or curl up in fear, a roar was heard. Spinning to face the sound, he saw a huge bat-lion, a manticore. The animal stalked him, letting out low growls of aggression. The human stood there, seemingly paralyzed with fear. The smell of urine was strong.

With a burst of speed, it came bounding over, saliva dripping from its maw. The human turned to run, but was too late. The manticore pounced, landed on top of the human, and started tearing into the catch. It ate the fright filled, yet tasty human.

Pixelating back into existence, Discord saw the scene with a cringe. "Well, that was unexpected. How do all those other humans in the fictions do it?" Snapping the bloody scene, along with the manticore, out of existence, he swirled around in the air, thinking. "Oh!" A light bulb formed above his head, shattering against his antlers. "The Everfree Castle is pretty barren!" Discord turned to smoke, getting sucked into a small golden teapot. Said teapot was whisked away in the direction of the castle.

Once he was close to the castle, but not inside it, the teapot tilted, pouring out a liquid Spirit of Chaos into the grass. Reshaping with a flash, he yelled out "TADA!" Random clapping could be heard in the air. "Hmm, this is a good spot!" As he disappeared again, a human took his place.

Looking around, the human was startled, being in the middle of a forest. After a minute of this, he saw the Castle looming over him above the trees. His eyes widened at what could possibly be shelter, and answers. Jogging over, he came to the clearing, only to stop short, a deep chasm between him and safety. The human frustratedly searched his surroundings and spotted the bridge, spanning the distance he needed to cross.

Walking over, he tentatively took a step on the old bridge. It held. Taking another step, the board creaked, but held. Putting his full weight on it, the board cracked, snapping the ropes, and the whole bridge fell. His body fell through, sending him screaming down the chasm with the bridge trailing behind him.

Once more Discord appeared. "Huh, I always wondered when that old thing would break." He twistd in the air. "Why can't I get a half decent show?" he whined.

Discord was frustrated now. Smoke came pouring out of his ears, and eyebrows, as he grumbled to himself. "I guess I can't even have them start in the Everfree!" He snapped his paw, and disappeared.

He reappeared near the outskirts of Ponyville, growing out of a blade of grass. He tapped the ground a few times with his hoof. "Ah, here's a good spot." He pulled off his crystal horn, and tilted it, sprinkling water over the soil. Discord disappeared as another human poofed into existence in the watered spot.

The new guy looked around, confused. He wasn't in his house anymore, and was instead standing in the weirdly bright grass looking at a weirdly bright town in the distance. He started going towards the town, looking for answers. He didn't have his shoes, so he walked with caution.

It wasn't enough caution, though, because when he was halfway there, he stepped on a pointed rock. It severely cut his poor, sensitive foot. He jumped onto one foot in a flash, and started to scream. He was swearing and swinging wildly. As his hand was coming down on a curve, a bird flew under his hand, getting punched into the dirt.

Unfortunately for him, at that precise moment, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash were hanging out nearby. Fluttershy flapped her wings close to the ground, while Rainbow flew high, occasionally coming down to talk. They both saw the scene as he punched the bird.

Fluttershy gasped. "M-Mr. Jay!" She sped over, cradling the bird in her hoof. It was barely breathing.

Rainbow's eyes widened in surprise, before narrowing at the creature, who was still yelling and cursing. "Hey!" She yelled. The creature ignored her.

The guy was still in severe pain, not at all noticing the two new creatures that saw him. Just beyond his screaming, he could barely hear a whistling sound, like something cutting through air. For a millisecond, he saw a blue shape in the corner of his eye, trailed by a rainbow. This was right before his head collided with something that felt like a rock.

Rainbow sped up and gave the creature a flying kick, hitting it right in the side of it's head. It ragdolled through the air, before rolling across the ground. "HA! That'll teach you! Don't be mean to animals!" She boasted triumphantly.

She flew over to Fluttershy, who hadn't seen any of it somehow. She was still holding the bird. Rainbow put a hoof on her withers. "Let's take this little guy back to your cottage. If anypony could help it, it's you!"

Fluttershy sniffled, before smiling. "Thank you, I'll try my best." The two of them, flew off, leaving the creature lying in the grass.

Discord silently poofed in, and tapped the human. "Hello! Anybody home?" He pulled out an overly large stethoscope, and placed the end on the human. Nothing.

"Oh," he realized. "He's dead. I guess hooves are harder than I thought. Who knew!" The dead human evaporated into mist. Discord was about to summon another, but stopped himself.

"Rainbow and Fluttershy met a human, so they might attack the next one on sight." He sighed to himself before snapping the hand that appeared on his tail. All the memories of the previous human were erased from their memories. He didn't do this often, because, what's the point of creating Chaos and playing pranks if no pony remembered?

Discord appeared inside the home of a pony he knew wouldn't be afraid of a human. Lyra. Sweetie Drops was out, so it would work out even better. He found Lyra practicing, well, the Lyre, so he summoned a human in front of her.

This human fell to the ground on his butt, surprised at the new surroundings. In front of him, a mint green little horse thing was staring at him, a little lyre in it's front hooves. They stared at each other, before the horse talked.

"HA! I knew it, I knew it, I knew it! I'm a genius!" Before the guy could talk, he was lifted into the air, surrounded by an orange glow. "We don't have a second to waste!" She said. They made their way into the basement, before she turned on the lights. In the middle of the room, a chair sat, bolted to the ground. It had straps on the arms and legs of the chair. The human was thrown into the chair, before being strapped down tight. He panicked, struggling to free himself, but it was hopeless.

Lyra ran back and forth between a few machines in the room. She was giggling like crazy. Once she was satisfied, she willed forth an almost identical chair, except smaller. She sat down in it, still grinning as a beam of electricity formed between them. The machines beeped faster and faster before exploding, sending smoke and debris across the room.

Discord was watching the whole time, invisible. He floated over to a notebook Lyra left lying on a table. Inside, their were random scribbles and equations, surrounding a picture of her and a human, then a picture of them, combined. Discord slowly turned around as the smoke cleared. "Oh my me, what have I done?"

What emerged from the smoke was something of nightmares, nightmares stronger than what Luna would be willing to deal with. It was *#!$#* with three, twisting *!$#&!*, *&$^@* dripping down it's *&%!#* as it *!^#* across the room.

"I won't punish the world by letting this be! I won't even describe it!" Discord quickly snapped his claw, no jokes or anything, and banished the creature to the darkest, deepest, cave he could think of. He then replaced Lyra with a new Lyra, identical to the old one, and complete with all her memories and personality up until she saw the human.

He poofed out of there, getting some fresh air. "That's it. I'm done. Fun's over." He snapped his paw, and all the humans who died during his little joke were revived, and sent back to their own world. Except the abomination, which would never see the light of day, and hopefully, never cross paths with the Elements of Harmony's future missions.

...

All throughout the city, the people that disappeared earlier in the day were mysteriously brought back in the same flash they vanished in. There were a few minor accidents, but each of the victims, when questioned, had no memories of what happened to them. Life went on, but each of them had a shared recurring dream, where a snake-like mashup of animals did a goofy dance while laughing.

Author's Note

The storm provides!