The Canterlot Adventures of a Prench Stallion

by Gatekeeper1073

Rating: everyone
Tags: Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Adventure, Derpy Hooves, Slice of Life
Length: 7209

Mirage wanted nothing more than to leave Prance and grieve the death of his wife, but after getting involved with a young Ditzy Doo he finds that one does not simply live peacefully in Canterlot.

There are many things one of advanced years wishes for: Peace and quiet, family, and especially to enjoy the successes of one's life being just a few examples.

Unfortunately for Mirage, it seems he will be forfeit of all of these. With the death of his wife, and a untimely and emotional flight to Equestria, he will have to start from the ground up once again as he plants himself in a new country, city and culture. Landing in the mountain city of Canterlot, he prepares to spend the remainder of his days like his younger ones: working to the brink of exhaustion to survive as he tries to forget his past.

After a run in with our favorite grey colored Pegasus, it seems any plans he has are going to go a bit haywire.

This story (if it continues like I planned) will start much earlier than the main episodes cover but will continue onwards. I don't plan on making this an AU but I'm also not very well versed in the lore.

*NOTE: this is my first MLP fanfiction. I've written previous fictions on FanFiction.net but alas, this is my first foray here. Comments, wisecracks and ideas are appreciated. I also do not promise any regular updates to this or any story I make. I'm also not a master of the French language, so any mistakes are left to my poor understanding and Google Translate.

Published 2019-12-11 03:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-09-21 14:10:29 UTC

Chapter 1: Le début

An old stallion was seated in the grass of Canterlots' Central Garden. His coat could graciously be considered a mottled grey with black spots, if you ignored the marks where time had touched his pelt to weather it darker and faded. His mane and tail were wispy things, thin from age and a faded blue in color.

He sat upright, his posture perfect and straight. A faded flat cap covered most of his head. A small suitcase was by his side, also faded and with plenty of dents and wearing on it’s own.

He sighed. “Ça ne va pas bien. Je pensais que j'aurais trouvé une maison maintenant. Que devons-nous faire alors? C'est exactement pourquoi je n'ai jamais voulu quitter Prance!”

The wind picked up for a bit, making the grass sway hypnotically in the breeze.

With a sigh, he rose up. He started to lean down towards the suitcase, to pick it up with his teeth when he heard a noise.

It seemed to be the crying of a foal, coming from farther into the garden.

He turned his head towards the sound, ears swiveling around. After a bit, with no sign of the crying ending, he shook his head.

“Non, je ne m'impliquerai pas. Aucun bien ne viendra d'interférer.”

He started to leave when he paused before muttering underneath his breath

“Mais que dirait Mirabelle?”

His tail flicked, irritated, before he let out a groan.

“Je jure que cette jument sera ma mort!”

Grudgingly, he turned around and headed towards the noise.

After walking for a while, he came across a clearing in the garden, where a lake filled much of the space, along with a few benches and a small sandbar.

A grey pegasus filly sat near the edge of the water, crying. She had a golden mane and tail, and was looking over the edge of the water in her reflection even as she was wiping tears from her eyes.

The old stallion emerged into the clearing. The filly quickly jumped up and looked his way, but kept one of her eyes shut.

“Bonjour? Est-ce que tu vas bien? J'ai entendu pleurer et je …”

The stallion had started speaking, but when he looked back at the filly he noted quickly that she had a blank stare in her open golden eye, completely oblivious to what he had just said.

He sighed and muttered “Idiot. Tu n'es plus en Prance. Il est temps de voir si ces livres ont vraiment aidé.”

He breathed as he stepped closer, trying to piece together the sentence he needed.

“‘Allo? J'ai entendu… I mean I heard ze crying. Iz zere a thing I can do to… ah… Chère passion, aidez-moi!”

He huffed in annoyance before taking a deep breath. “I heard a cry. I want to help. Can I?”

The filly looked at him before giggling lightly “You talk funny!”

The stallion muttered under his breath. “Enfant, je suis sûr que la plupart du monde dirait la même chose pour toi.”

“Whazzat mean?” the filly asked.

“It means I agree with you.” the stallion dead panned.

“Oh… okay!” chirped the little one

The stallion shook his head before asking again. “Why were you crying, enfant?”

The filly looked away, kicking the sand as she looked back over the water.

“M’not crying.” said the filly

“Ainsi a dit la flaque d'eau à la pluie, qu'il n'avait pas d'eau.” the stallion shot back

The filly gave him the same one eyed look of incomprehension.

“...I do not believe you. I heard you cry.” said the stallion in response

“Did not!” cried the filly

“Did too!”

“Did not!”

“Oui je l'ai fait!”

“Stop speaking funny!” the filly said louder

“Seulement quand vous faites de même!” retorted the stallion

“WHY DO YOU CARE?!” The filly finally shouted

The stallion’s retort died in his throat. Why did he care, anyway? If she didn’t want to talk about it, that was her business. Not like he had anything he could really do for her, either. Not until he got a proper job and household.

But he remembered what it felt like, to shout that same question, and it had no place on a child so young. Not yet, at least.

After a bit of silence, the stallion spoke.

“Parce que … *ahem* what reason do I need to stop ze sadness?"

He paused and looked at the filly. He waved a hoof at a patch of sand near her.

"Si je peux?"

The filly wiggled a bit, thinking about it before nodding. She didn't understand what he said, but she did get that he wanted to sit down.

He ambled over, and sat down with a sigh.

They sat for a while, staring off into the water before the stallion gave a gasp.

"Dieu, je perds la tête! I am sorry, enfant, I never received your name! Would you tell me it?" He asked.

The filly wiggled again before responding. She kept her head forward, not facing the stallion

"Um… some ponies call me Derpy but, but that's not my name!"

As she spoke she started to shake, and tears welled in her eye

"That's not my name but those meanie heads keep calling me it! And they won't leave me alone! All because my eye won't…won't..."

She fell quiet, sniffling softly.

"… Won't what?" Prompted the stallion.

The filly recoiled from him, inching away slightly.

"You're just gonna be mean to me too. Everyone else is."

With a sigh, the stallion turned fully towards her and doffed his cap, bowing his head to her.

"I would never laugh at your pain, vous avez ma parole."

The filly took a deep breath before turning to face the stallion, her left eye still closed.

"Okay, I'll trust you."

She opened her eye, and the stallion saw the pupil slowly drift upward and away from focusing on him.

The stallion quirked an eyebrow, but remained silent.

"... well?" Ventured the filly "It's weird isn't it. You're just too nice to say anything." She turned to sulk at the water, staring at her reflection.

The old stallion chuckled. "Oh petit, il n'y a pas lieu de s'inquiéter. You are, 'ow do you say? Ze perfect pony."

The filly turned to look at him, not understanding. "Huh? But, but my eye's all wonky! How could I be perfect if I'm not?"

The stallion shook his head and scooted a little closer. "Non, non, ce n'est pas ce que je dis."

He breathed and looked at the filly. "Look at me." he commanded. "What iz it zat you see?"

The filly focused and squinted at the stallion, her eyes aligning with the intense concentration. "I... see a pony?"

The stallion nodded. "Exactement, c'est tout. You see, perfection is a... it is impossible. It iz so different for so many zat zere is no way for it to be possible. But a perfect pony? Zat is easy, because it is to simply be ze perfect you ma chérie."

He stood, dusting himself off. "Of course, your eye means zat you will need to work far harder to do zat which ozzers find très facile, but it does not make it, or you, impossible." He looked down at her, patting her head gently before fixing his cap. "You will find your way, enfant, those maudits simply do not know how to grow and are trying to tear you down with zem. Pay zem no heed."

He turned to leave and started trotting off, the young filly looking on, a smile growing on her face when she suddenly got up. "WAIT!" she cried as she buzzed her wings and took off after him.

"Oui?" He turned around just in time for him to be hit by a grey blur as the filly glomped onto his neck. They stumbled back as his knees buckled, falling back to the sand.

She nuzzled him a bit before speaking. "Thanks, mister! You made me feel much better! My real name's Ditzy Doo, what about you?"

He chuckled. "les jeunes sont tellement énergiques With a pat of his hoof he dislodged the filly and stood up again before replying. "You may call me Pépé Mirage, ma chérie."

Ditzy cocked her head. "What's that mean, Mr. Mirage?"

"It means 'Grandfather'." Mirage explained.

"Oh. Okay!" Ditzy nodded. She squinted again, and suddenly gasped. "Oh! I know! Ms. Bounty always say to say thanks when other ponies help you out and to try and make it up to them! You should come meet her!"

Mirage shook his head. "Non I have a great many things to work on."

In perfect synchronization, both of their stomachs decided what was a priority.

Dinky giggled and looked at him. "Was dinner one of them?" She gasped, and her wings buzzed, lifting her off the ground a bit. "Dinner! Oh no! I need to get to home!" She turned and looked at Mirage, pulling out a pouting lip. "Will you please come with me, Grandpa? Ms. Bounty will understand why I'm late if you're there."

Mirage couldn't quite look away before her large puppy eyes could do their magic. In truth, having just arrived his first priority had been finding work and a place to work. But...

Well, a meal did sound like a fine idea.

He sighed. "Very well, off we go. Lead on."

Ditzy whooped and started skipping ahead. "Yaay! I'm sure it'll be great!"

Mirage hoped so as well.

Chapter 2: Dîner

Mirage could not help but be a little awed by the building he stood in

It was old, for sure. It's red carpeting worn and faded with age. The dark wood paneling was covered with scuffs. The curtains were threadbare, the furnishings mismatched and well used.

But nowhere had he seen a place so full of life.

Indeed, it seemed that Ditzy had neglected to mention that she was not living with just a caretaker.

As soon as they had entered, Ditzy had taken off, yelling something about helping with dinner and he should meet "the others".

"The others" soon came rushing by, a whirlwind of horns, wings and hooves.

Colts and fillies of every age and race were about the place, laughing and playing. Most rushed by him, not sparing even a glance his way.

As the large group passed, he saw a single colt mosey on along. He had a dull green coat with a shock of unruly blonde hair, with a single dandelion flower for a cutie mark. He was significantly older than many of the young foals around, almost fully grown.

He had an easy smile on his face, and nodded to Mirage as he walked along.

Mirage saw the colts' pace slow down as he put on a thinking look.

He saw the colt start to sway.

And teeter

And totter

And with the grace of an oak tree, he fell on his side with a thump and a squeak.

Mirage continued to look on, both highly amused and very curious as to the young colt before him.

Unable to keep it in, he shook his head slightly and called out "iz zee floor zat comfortable, Poulain?"

He saw the ears flicker in his direction but the colt didn't move an inch when he responded. "Welp I'd say it's not so bad. Dis here carpet is nice'n rumpled up cause a'lla kids runnin' by. Waitaminute."

He perked up and rolled over to get a good look at Mirage, before standing up.

"Oop! Apologies, sir! I thought I was hearing Mr. Pincher instead."

He walked over just as lackadaisical as before, and extended a hoof.

"Name's Dandelion Greens. Folks call me Dandy. Welcome ta Bounty's Boardhouse. Best place fer lil' one's ta call home if they don't got one of their own."

Mirage smiled and raised his hoof to Dandys’

"Mirage, a pleasure. "

Dandy latched his hoof to Mirages’ and gave it an iron grip before pumping it strongly.

"Indeedy-do! Now yer gonna have ta forgive me but un-a-fortunately Bounty's made a rule about seein' sponsors around supper time so you'll need ta come by tomorra ta catch'er. N'less yer invited ta eat, I guess. "

He kept shaking Mirage's hoof, jarring his shoulder slight with each pump.

"Er, yes, I mean I am invited to eat but where…"

Dandy laughed "Oh! Where do I fit in a'lla this? Welp, I was Bounty's first ever take-in, and did I ever give her Tartarus fer it! Why I remember when I ran off 'cause I was sick 'n' tired of livin' in th' city, boy was I ever a mean kid, anyway…"

Mirage silently wondered if his arm would fall off before or after Dandy was done explaining himself, and lost track of the conversation before focusing again.

“I somehow managed ta get that kooky whirligig of a necklace ta work, but all I ‘member is everythin’ goin red, real scary that was...”

Mirage felt he couldn’t last much longer when he heard the sound of hoof steps coming from a wooden floor off to the right.

"...'N' then after that there Hydra spat me out I stumbled my way back ta Klugetown er whatever th’ hay it was ‘n’ got a ride back ta Canterlot with this real piece-a-work cat captain. Cat-p-tain? Anywho…”

Just as he was about to get on his knees and beg for release, a miracle happened. A red unicorn mare trotted from the right into his view. He locked eyes with her and sent the best telepathic message he could.

Bel ange, libère-moi de ce sort horrible. Je t'en supplie! Faire quelque chose!

Apparently it worked, as she started to quickly trot towards Dandy with a small frown on her face. “Hey, Dandy, that’s enough!”

Unfortunately Dandy was not so easily dissuaded, and rambled on.

“So long story short I got myself turned around right ‘n’ quick ‘n’ I’ve been around ever since helping out Bounty with th’ kids and trackin’ down the ones that get lost ‘n’ such. Say that reminds me, have you seen Ditzy around? Cute lil’ pegasus, grey coat? Ring a bell? If you haven’t I gotta get geared up, supper times happening and… oh that actually reminds me of this one time…”

Chers dieux, démons même! Je ne peux pas durer un autre instant!

The unicorn was ramping up, going into a full charge. “DANDY, STOP!”

Dandy stopped and turned, never releasing his grip but he did stop pumping his hoof. “Oh hey dere, Blaze! Have ya met Mirage…!”

The unicorn catapulted herself into Dandy, knocking him over and releasing his grip on Mirages’ hoof.

Mirage quickly retracted his hoof, feeling a longing sense of numbness start to pass as he felt a slight cramp start to build. “Des cieux miséricordieux qui ont perduré pour toujours!” he muttered.

He looked back and saw the unicorn snuggle/pin the earth pony down. He wasn’t quite sure but thought there was a slight blush to the unicorn’s face.

“Dandy!” she scolded “We’ve been over this! You can’t just keep talking and shaking someone’s hoof, you’re going to break them. No one’s able to survive that.”

He chuckled a bit and nodded. “Yer absolutely right about that, I’m just glad ta have you around, Blaze. I wouldn’t know what ta do without ya.” He said as he passed a hoof through her short brown hair.

Mirage definitely knew she was blushing now.

“W-well it’s only because you need help, dummy.” she stammered, looking away.

Oooh, est-ce ce qu'ils appellent un tsundere? Comme c'est intéressant ...

Their eyes lingered on each other a bit longer than necessary, and they started leaning in when Mirage cleared his throat.

Loudly.

Last thing he wanted to deal with was a young romance. Quelle horreur!

Instantly, the unicorn sprung up and away from Dandy, while Dandy was quickly turning red himself as he lifted himself up.

“Apologies again there, Mirage. I ferget that not too many ponies shake like my folks did when I was younger.” Dandy said sheepishly

Mirage chuckled “Do not worry, Dandy. Just… let us not do it again, oui?”

“Alrighty then!” He agreed.

Dandy waved over to the unicorn standing near them. “This here is Autumn Blaze! She’s the best darn pony in the whole building, barring Bounty, of course. She’s been here with me for as long as I can remember. Autumn, meet Mirage.”

“A pleasure.” Mirage said, with a small bow.

“Likewise,” said Autumn, her cheeks still a little red. She cleared her throat. “I came to see where you got to, Dandy, Dinner’s already getting started! You know how Bounty gets about meal time…”

“Boy do I ever!” Agreed Dandy. He motioned for Mirage to follow them. “Come on! We got grub ta eat!”

With a shake of his head, Mirage followed after.

Mirage was sandwiched between Dandy and Autumn, at a table built for 10 that hosted 16. The air was filled with the sounds of laughter and plates clattering as about a dozen young colts and fillies sat and chatted and ate.

He hadn't seen more of Ditzy or even the Madame Bounty, and the riotous sounds of the meal were starting to get to him.

Too many noises.

Too much heat.

Too many bodies pushing together.

J'ai besoin de partir

Soon he was able to arrange his bowl of soup and bread for an easy grab before managing to get Dandy and Autumn distracted. He slipped away with a quiet word, carrying his bowl and bread with him.

He walked swiftly through the door before shutting it.

He heaved a sigh of relief before starting to walk to a little end table he saw. Sitting down he chuckled slightly before getting ready to eat.

"Mirage, it iz good to see you still got it. "

A voice came from off to the right.

"Eh. I've done betteh."

After letting out a "Yipe!" Mirage turned to glare at the new comer.

It turned out to be a dark grey colt, gazing up at him with a quirked eyebrow. He was standing with his own bowl of soup and bread. He had a red mane and tail that stood out boldly from his body.

And really, really large ears. They looked like someone had taken two large handkerchiefs and put them almost over lapping on his head. They were perked up just a little, tufts of poofy white fur visible from the inside.

The colt frowned. "Whazzah mattah? Youse never seen big ears before, huh?"

He snorted before rearing up to put his bowl on the end table as well.

"Whatevah. Scootch over a bit, 'M gettin' a chaiah."

Mirage nodded, still processing the shock and unexpected visitor.

The colt returned, heaving over a chair. He plonked it at the other end of the table and sat down with a sigh.

"Dat's betteh."

The colt started digging in, only occasionally coming up for air.

With a small snort, Mirage did the same, sipping from his bowl and taking small bites from his bread.

The colt, after eating about half the bowl, stopped and gave Mirage a once over before starting to talk.

"So... who are youse anyway? Not everyday we get a old coot like you coming down ta tha place."

Mirage stopped dead and put down the bread he was about to eat, nostrils flaring. He gave a dead eyed glare at the colt.

"Coot?" He said coldly

The colt gulped visibly, his ears fluttering a little.

"eh he... ah... I meant stallion?" he said sheepishly.

With a nod, Mirage answered.

" I am here because I helped a little filly... Ditzy... and zen she said somezing about helping with the dinner..."

He gave a sigh, "And zen I get caught up with Dandy and...well..."

The colt winced. "Oh. I get dat. Dandy's swell and all but, he's a bit much at times. And den you were thrown inta dinnah..."

He shrugged. "Well, as long as yer eatin'. Mz. Bounty's got a real sticklah fer everybody eatin'. She's a good pony, dat's fer sure."

They both nodded, going back to their meals.

After the colt finished, he picked up his bowl and gave a nod to Mirage.

"Welp, thanks fer the company. It's nice not bein' the only one out here every now and again. See ya."

With a nod, Mirage waved him goodbye as the colt walked off. He then returned to finish his soup.

After he left, Mirage came to a sudden realization.

"Huh, je n'ai jamais eu son nom." he mused to himself.

"Yes, he's not one to give out his name lightly. It's sad really." A voice behind him

With a now much louder "Yipe!" Mirage spun around to face his newest visitor.

He was pretty sure all of these surprises weren't good for his health either.

The unicorn mare standing in front of him was a striking golden brown, with a rich two toned green mane and tail.

Mirage sucked in a breath.

Quelle belle jument. Si j'avais 10 ans de moins, je serais beaucoup plus enclin à la poursuivre.

He stood up, taking off his cap before bowing.

"Madame Bounty, je suppose?"

She nodded with a smile before replying

"Oui. Suivez-moi, nous avons beaucoup à discuter Monsieur Mirage."

Un problème

Author's Note

I spend much longer than is absolutely necessary trying to put accents into text. It's a very interesting experience.

Also, Yellowbeard. SOLID. GOLD. Go watch it if you haven't.

Let me know what you think!

Sincerely,
Gatekeeper

Un problème

Autumn Blaze was having a...

"No! No I don't wanna go!"
"I can't find my backpack!"

... difficult morning. To say the least. Miss Bounty had left early, Dandy had disappeared and, well...

"Hey, that's MY doll YOU GIVE THAT BACK!"

...The kids were being troublesome. She only had 15 minutes to get them on their way or they'd have to gallop. Why couldn't the school carriage come down here to pick them up, instead of having to drag a gaggle of foals through a mall to the designated pickup point? She would pay bits for the answer.

"Youse lookin' a little stressed there." A voice came from below.

"You think?" Blaze deadpanned.

"Yeah," chirped the voice, completely missing the sarcasm.

Blaze looked down and saw him. The dark-coated colt whose name she still didn't know, despite literally signing the paperwork to have him here.

Who... happened to be perfectly ready to go to school. And clean. And not bawling his eyes out. The gears started turning in her head.

"You... don't happen to be free right now, Bud?"

"Buds' not my name, toots."

"And toots isn't mine, but since you won't tell me yours I'm just going with what Dandy said."

"...Dat's faiah, I guess. Whatcha need?"

"Do you know anyone who can help me? Miss Bounty left, and I can't find Dandy and both Sparkler and Jam are throwing fits. I need help."

Bud squinted, a piece of his red mane falling into his face while mulling it over.

Blaze huffed while trying to hide a smile. She wouldn't say it, but she was rather fond of the little hustler. "Fine, I'll save you an extra dessert tonight if you manage to find someone. Deal?"

He nodded. "Deal. Easiest ting I've evah done. Be back in 5."

"I'll keep you to it!" She called, chuckling when the colt left her sight.

"Jokes on him." She thought. "Tonight we're having Jello."

A knock came on Mirage's door, as he was writing in a book. He closed it, making sure to mark the page and put away the quill he was using.

"Coming!" He said, trotting to the door. He opened it and stared into the hallway before he heard a cough.

He looked down and smiled. "Ah, mon jeune partenaire de dîner! It iz good to see you again. What brings you here?"

Bud snorted, "Nothin' much Pops-" he looked up nervously at Mirage, who nodded slightly "- just wonderin' if youse was busy with somethin'. I got tah ask ya somethin'."

Mirage quirked an eyebrow. "I can spare some time. What do you need?"

"Weeel..." Bud reared a little to click his two forehooves together before coming back down. "...So it's not actually me who needs th' favah, see? I mean, I'm asking but... ah..."

Bud slowly slipped into silence until Mirage moved his hoof in a 'go-on' motion. "Ah, so can you um... help out? Today? Like, right now?"

Mirage thought about it for a minute, before a chuckle escaped him. "Alors, c'est comme ça que le jeu commence? Très bien! Very well, tell Madame Bounty I will be ready in a minute."

Bud quirked his head, his large ears flapping slightly from the sudden movement. "Mz. Bounty didn't say nothin' to me. Autumn Blaze asked me, to ask you, tah help her. Dig? And uh, can we get a move on? I got extrah dessert ridin' on yah being deh in a minute. Nothin' personal."

That caught Mirage by surprise, but with a shrug he moved over to the simple peg holding his hat. "Very well," he said, picking up his hat. "Let us go, I would hate to be ze cause of lost dessert."

Autumn Blaze was just about ready to ~~kill~~ "No." ~~burn~~ "Deep breaths, Autumn. In... out." yell mildly
"Better, much better." when there came a knock on the dormitory doors.

Ignoring the screaming she'd been trying to calm for the past almost 5 minutes, she opened it and looked down really hoping that Bud who was standing there would not have the news she thought he did.

"Hey." Bud said, giving a small wave when he noticed her not-quite-calm expression. "So, ah, I got good news and I got bad news. Whi-"

"Bad news please," Autumn interrupted, "Nothing you could say can make this worse."

Bud gulped. "Alright; well bad news is, it's been more than five minutes. So I guess our deal's off. Good news is, I found somepony ta help."

Clouds parted, and Autumn could pretend that there was light ahead of the still-need-to-leave-in-5-minutes tunnel. Her ears pricked up. "Oh! So you found Dandy?"

The colt shook his head. "Nope."

A little confused, Autumn tried again. "So Ms. Bounty came back?"

Bud gave another shake. "Ix-nay on Mz. Ounty-Bay."

Autumn gave a sigh. "Look, you know what? I don't care. I have to get Sparkler and Jam to find the other backpack in 8 minutes or we will be late. And late means no dessert at all. So whoever it is, whatever it is, keep an eye on them while they keep an eye on the others until I get done with this and then we'll talk. Thanks for looking. Now go."

With a nod Bud left. Autumn took in a deep breath before turning to take care of the screaming fillies.

The now very quiet fillies.

With the kind of alarm born of desperation and experience she bellowed "YOU BOTH BETTER NOT BE DRAWING ON THE WALLS WHEN I GET IN THERE!"

Bud left the room and shut the door, before a wallop of sound hit both him and Mirage.

Shaking his head to clear the sound Mirage asked, "So, what did Madame Blaze say?"

Bud smiled "So she said for me, to tell you, to watch you while you watch th' others. Dig?"

"Oui, je comprends" Mirage affirmed with a nod. "let us go! Vers l'avant!"

Autumn Blaze walked out of the dormitory with two docile fillies and time to spare, if Celestia was on her side. And if Buds' new 'help' didn't get run off by the rambunctious bunch of hooligans the others could be.

As she descended the stairs, greeting her was a sight for sore eyes. 11 fillies and colts lined up, holding a stern look as a older stallion marched in front of them with a colored paper hat and matching colored medals taped to his chest.

"Now zen, Soldiers of ze Bounty Battalion! I don't want to see any smiles, not a one! If I do, all will be lost! Ze Commander Blaze will never be able to look you square in ze eye again!"

He started down the line, looking both imperious and quite silly with his exaggerated gait, till he settled on a small tan pegasus filly about half-way through the line. "You zere! What iz your name, soldate?"

The filly puffed up with excitement, "Anny, your most Deadliness!"

"And why are you here?" Questioned Mirage

"To do whatever the Battalion does, your most Absurdness!"

"And what is it that we do?" He continued

"Whatever happens to be done at the time, your Silliness!"

"Correct!" Crowed Mirage, "Now, look me in ze eye!"

Anny did, with earnestness.

"Oh ho! but now here iz ze real question," Mirage said before crossing his eyes, "Which one are you looking at!"

The filly giggled, trying to say "That's not fair!" between her fits, as the rest of the line dwindled into similar laughs, including Mirage and a (definitely only chuckling) Bud.

Autumn looked on in surprise and not a little bit of awe, before letting out a quiet giggle.

Bud's ears flicked at the noise and he turned his head. Catching a glimpse of Autumn he let out an exaggerated gasp. "Wes got incomin', Majah!"

"Major!, ce n'est pas difficile!" Mirage said, turning to face Bud and the staircase. He gasped and spun around, addressing the foals.

"Attention! Tenez-vous prêt!" He called, "Le commandant iz here!"

All at once the line rearranged itself, Mirage included, scattering and rearranging themselves into the regular positions each foal had claimed. When all of them had settled in, Mirage spoke.

"Commandant, nous sommes prêts!" He said, adjusting his (somewhat) wilting paper hat to look more presentable. He kept his face neutral with only a small wink and a slight grin to key her into the silliness.

Autumn was taken aback, but after a bit of shock she schooled her face and hid her grin. She wasn't about to ruin the fun.

"Very good, Major." She said cooly, her walk crisp and stately as she eyed the line. The foals shifted in nervousness and excitement, ready to go for the day.

When she reached the other end she did an about-face, and nodded.

She... hadn't been expecting this, but she wasn't about to look a gift cow in the mouth so to speak. Celestia already knew that she'd have a difficult time already herding the foals through the mall by herself... unless...

"Major Mirage, a word if you please." She said as she beckoned with a hoof and walked a short distance away.

Mirage gave a snappy salute and followed. He stood straight and stock still, his paper had wobbling just a teensy bit as it threatened to come undone.

Autumn relaxed and smiled. "Thank you," she said, "You really didn't have to but I do appreciate you helping out with the foals. I know you've done a lot and I feel bad to ask you this, but would you mind coming with us to the drop-off? Having somepony else would help move things along smoothly!"

Mirage smiled as well, and waved a hoof. "It iz no trouble at all. les poulains were a joy to 'ave around. I would be happy to come with."

Autumn nodded. "Thanks, you're a life saver," her face crunched in curiosity she asked "By the way, how did you manage the foals? Usually they're a nightmare to wrangle down here."

Mirage gave a small smile. "Madame when you are as old as I am, you learn a few things. I just helped them make waiting into a game and voilà! It does not always work but, well, nothing ever does."

Autumn smiled and nodded before she slipped back on her 'commander' face. She turned and let Mirage head to the other end of the line before addressing them all.

"Attention troops! We're about to head out!" She called in her most authoritative voice, "Check your gear and grab your battle buddy before we ship out. Do you understand?"

A cacophony of "'Sir yes Sir's!' and Ma'am yes Ma'am's!'" filled the main hall with plenty of giggles and it took all Autumn had not to crack a smile.

If the foals wanted to play, then she felt obliged to let them if it helped out. After all, it's not everyday you're a Commander.

Chapter 3: Une conversation

Mirage and Ripe Bounty sat in an office, well used and well worn by the looks of it. Ripe Bounty was seated behind a massive oak desk piled with papers and folders, with Mirage sitting in a padded wingback chair that had been moved over.

Bounty used her magic to quickly shuffle through a few papers before letting the magic extinguish, giving a sigh.

"I cannot thank you enough for what you have done for Ditzy " She said. "It's been a trying time for her and your help has eased a bit of her heart. She was so excited to tell me all about you she could barely stand still!" she chuckled

With a smile Mirage waved a hoof at her. "It iz no problem, madame, I did only what a stallion should do."

She hummed in response before shaking your head. "Not from how Ditzy told it. Not only did you help her, you listened to her. It's… disheartening, how many ponies brush off Ditzy because of her coordination issues. Children especially can be very negative about it. "

Mirage nodded his head "L'ignorance est un poison pour la différence" he said solemnly.

Bounty nodded in agreement. "Indeed. I wish to repay you for the kindness you've shown."

Mirage frowned "You have already done so. A hot meal and good company are reward enough."

"Is that so?" Bounty asked with a raised eyebrow. "Ditzy said that you had 'a great many things to do' yes? What would some of those things be, if I might ask?"

"It iz no problem" said Mirage "I am needing to find a house and work. I 'ave just come from Prance and was 'oping to get settled in quickly."

"And how many funds do you have to purchase a house?" Queried Bounty.

"... I have enough. With more if necessary. " Mirage replied.

"Oh? Then I suppose you have five thousand bits in your suitcase, because that will be the down payment for the only available houses in the city." She said as she started shuffling through the papers with her magic. "Canterlot is not just the capital of Equestria, Mr. Mirage, it is the most expensive city as well. While it is highly defensible, there's very little room to expand. We can't build up, as the wind is too strong. We can't build into the mountain, as it'll soon collapse if too much is dug away. Our only option is down, and frankly there's only so far before it's too spread out."

She floated over a few sheets of paper. "Here, take a look at some of the housing prices. I was recently helping a friend of mine find a place and have some leftover advertisements."

Mirage grabbed them from her magic and looked them over, sucking in a breath as he did. "Bon raisin, elle ne mentait pas! le moins cher ici est un demi-million de pièces! 'Ow… I do not have ze means to live here…"

She nodded "Indeed, I would be surprised if you did." She frowned slightly "I wished to tell you because I would feel terrible letting you leave without some knowledge of what you're getting into."

"But what will I do? Even with ze knowledge you gave me, I 'ave barely a tenth of what is required here! I need to leave the city if I am to live!" Mirage cried out.

Bounty nodded and spoke "which is exactly why I have a proposal for you, Mr. Mirage."

Mirage looked at her curiously, rolling a hoof to signal her to continue.

Bounty took back the advertisements as she continued to speak. "I have need of more workers here, to help with maintenance and the children. I want to hire you."

Mirage was surprised. "Moi? I am flattered, Madame, but I do not wish to impose. I do not think zat I…"

Bounty stood and said earnestly "Oh but I do, Mr. Mirage."

She started trotting behind her desk. "Do you know how hard it is to find workers in this city? Especially for anything not related to entertainment, cuisine or fashion? It's too expensive for those of us in other fields to have a large staff present. Many work from home, using their main floor as their business front and living on the second. Only nobles have the land and resources to make large scale operations, but most keep them as houses.

And of those workers I can find, most of them do not display the sort of traits I need here. Patience, kindness, empathy. These are base things I need to see in ponies before even looking at their qualifications. But you? You've got them in spades from what I've heard and seen."

Mirage blushed slightly. "Madame, you honor me, but I am not zat special."

Bounty paused, and stared at him. "I beg to differ. I could really use you here. You get a place to stay, I get more needed help. What do you say?"

Mirage thought over the offer. It's true that he could stay here. He was growing fond of Ditzy, and certainly it would be beneficial.

But he wondered more about the cost it would take to keep him here. Would it not put more burden on his host to have him here? So what if he could get along with Ditzy? She was a lovely filly who was trying her best, and that was admirable all by itself. How could one not be inspired by her efforts and joy?

In the end, he shook his head. "Non, madame. I would only be a burden. You will find who you need soon enough."

With a frown Bounty sat back down. She heaved a sigh before responding. "Alright, but even if you decide to leave, stay the night at least. You don't know how much it means to me to see Ditzy so happy."

Mirage bowed his head. "Your hospitality belies your charity. I would be glad to stay the night."

"Excellent, follow me." Bounty said as she stood up again.

Mirage stood and followed her out the door.

"Unfortunately, the only room we have ready is where our old repairstallion used to live, down near the boilers. I hope it's no trouble?" She said apologetically.

Mirage smiled and waved a hoof. "Not at all, madame. If anything, it will be a warm reminder of my foalhood."

Bounty was surprised. "Oh, where did you grow up if you're reminded by that? If you don't mind me asking, of course."

Mirage shook his head. "Not at all. Unfortunately, it is a rather long story but suffice it to say that I grew up outside of Equestria."

"Where at, specifically? I've been outside of Equestria myself, a few times. Perhaps I've visited where you lived." Bounty prodded.

Mirage chuckled. "I rather doubt it."

He smiled softly and with a wry grin said "let's make a wager, madame. If you are able to convince me to stay by tomorrow's eve, I'll tell some more of my tale. Sound fair?"

Bounty nodded. "Sounds fair. You'll regret making that bet." She said with a smirk of her own, looking over her shoulder at him. "I've always been a terribly sore loser."

Mirage met her eyes and chuckled quietly. "As am I."

They walked in silence until they reached a small door in the basement.

Bounty spoke up. "Well, I guess this is good night, Mr. Mirage. Let the games begin tomorrow." She said with a twinkle in her eye. "I'm excited to see the outcome."

Mirage nodded. "As am I. Good night, Madame."

"Goodnight, Monsieur."

Une marche

"Thank you." Autumn said as the last of the kids piled onto the school wagon and pulled away. She turned to look at him and smiled. "Thank you so much. If you hadn't been around when Bub was looking for someone, I doubt I could ever had gotten the kids here at a decent time."

Mirage smiled back and adjusted his hat to the proper position. Ditzy had tried on the hat on the way over and had also, in her exuberance, had given it back by fluttering up and landing it on his eyes.

"It iz no problem, Autumn. Though if I may... where was Monsieur Dandy today? I would think he would be ze one 'o would be most disponible for ze morning?"

Autumn sighed and looked out into the street, "You would be right, but sometimes he just... goes." she said before lifting a hoof in front of her, fanning it out as if to clear the air. "A-and that's fine, I guess. He's his own pony, and he does a whole lot for the orphanage. But some days, like today, I wish he would... I don't know."

Autumn groaned and mumbled to herself, "Is it too much just to have him around more? I miss him."

"Does he know that?" Mirage asked. Autumn jumped in surprise from his response. Mirage's face soured from the reaction. "Just because I am old does not mean I cannot hear, jeune jument." he chastised. His features smoothed again as she looked away, abashed. "I think you would be best served by telling him that yourself."

He reached out a hoof to Autumn's shoulder and gently turned to have her face him. "Ecoutez." he began, "I do not know you two well, but you seem to care for each ozzer. If you do wish to... ah, sortir avec lui, court him, yes? You must learn to speak without anger about what you feel. communiquer, non? Without it, you will never reach him even if he is right in front of you."

He sighed as he dropped his hoof. "Forgive me," he said softly, "I've meddled again. It was not my place to speak so. Whatever you decide is not my decision." He turned his head and cleared his throat in an attempt to change the subject before returning to look at Autumn again, who had a thoughtful expression on her face. "When do les poulains return? I would like to walk with them again." he asked with smile on his face.

Autumn looked up at the sun pensively before returning her gaze to Mirage. "Well, the kids just left not to long ago. I'm here at two o'clock and I'm always ahead of the wagon, so that would be a good idea." He nodded and turned to leave before she called out.

"Mirage!" she said as he turned around to face her, she smiled again. "Thanks for the advice, I'll think it over." She said as she waved goodbye.

Mirage returned the gesture and mused for a while after Autumn left.