Stirring around I struggle for breath. They are out there. Watching. I can feel them
The windows
They aren’t safe
They tower over me, wide, oppressing, everywhere. Beyond them, suffocation.
They are watching, waiting.
Not Safe
Not Safe
Not...
A sound.
The clip-clopping of a sharp something echoed throughout the halls.
“Wake up, you’ve got to-,” only to be interrupted by… something in that mirror.
“Wake Up!”
It was a red blinking eye, staring out from that empty expanse, staring at me.
Oh God, please, NO!
Gasping for breath, I jerk up straight in my bed. My stuttering breaths fill the room as the awful red eye revealsed itself as a, blinking red LED from a computer dongle.
Seriously?
I blink and look around in a daze. A mess of books, clothes, and cables smother the desk sitting right next to the bed. Close enough that I can even do push-ups between the two. Speaking of which maybe I should… eh, nah. Gotta eat.
Though, what was that voice? Not that unusual as I’ve occasionally woken up to real voices before realizing, rather sadly, that they weren’t.
Shaking myself of these thoughts, I begin to prepare for the academic struggle that awaits.
When I had arrived at the university I seated myself for the first class of the day.
Looking around seeing who is here, briefly, I find a rarely attending classmate behind me.
“Oh, wow, you cut your hair today,” he said playfully with a smidgen of sincerity.
Taken aback and pleased a bit I replied, “Uh, huh, so it looks, right?”
“Yeah, it looks good!”
“”Haha, yeah last person just said it looked different”
He grimaced slightly.
“Well, duh, that’s the point?”
I engrossed myself in this brief conversation which jumped to how annoying neutral compliments were especially when it seemed like they didn’t want to provide negative feedback. It was rather refreshing just to hash out stuff about the ambiguity and frailty of social situations. It was something that was rare.
The professor cued the class and began the lecture.
Giving a spirited attempt at following along at first I begin to ponder why such a simple conversation had been so refreshing. And with that, my mind fluttered away for a bit.
The teachers voice jerked me from whatever flight of fancy I had been in. I’ve been trying to make use of my time in class. I’m a senior, dangit. I’m too far in to rebel against the moment of a classroom lecture. It’s time to learn! Ugh, I’m not really good with lectures at all.
Clip clop
Seriously, how am I supposed to focus when I don’t even believe that I’ll ever use this information
Clip Clop
Agh, I’m doing it again. I get all worked up into this frustrated rant about why this situation sucks.
Clip Clop
Sometimes, you just got to deal… with... it?
Clip Clop
Wait
Wtf is that sound? I turned curiously towards the door to the classroom ,gazing out into the glass sided hallway. Everything seemed normal, ok…
Keeping my ears tuned for the sound, eagerly anticipating some novelty or distraction. Wait, no, creepy sound, focus!
Great, it’s gone now. Lame.
Reaching the end of class, everyone got up to leave with the random conversant rushing ahead to escape the tedium. Naturally, this is normal. A small fragment suggested that I try and cue for more conversation but it seemed impossible. Was it the right call to make. I never know.
Now for another lonely walk home
Clip clop
Clip clop
I jerked my head behind me, noting the completely normal looking hallway with all its normal people, being slightly perturbed by rapid head movements, included. Whatever. I resumed my route to the bike waiting outside. Eager to get on the road and back home I increased my pace weaving throughout the school architecture.
I paused every now and then, but every time I only received the silent melody of murmurings and footsteps of the school crowd.
Finally reaching my bike, I kneeled down to unlock it.
“Ah-hem”
I paused.
Normally, I should turn around and just see what’s up. Maybe a classmate, but who would give such a proper ah-hem. Someone being silly, of course.
Ugh, brain do something. It doesn’t feel right. It feels different.
I turned around only to see nothing there again. HAH, good one brain. YOU GOT ME. Shaking my head I proceeded to bike home.
Clippity Clop
Clippity Clop
You're kidding me? It evolved! Must pedal faster!
Clippity Clop
Clippity Clop
Madness!
I closed my eyes and pedaled as hard as I could, letting the sharp cold air cut me invigorating my mighty biker spirit. Being too invigorated by the power of my mighty biker spirit I didn’t notice the screech of the tires or -
head
...pulsing
I looked around. What? What happened? A policeman was talking to a rather stressed looking young man.
He impatiently yelped, “ It’s not my fault! The light was green!”.
Oh shit, I’m bjorked, he might be bjorked and the world is bjorked. I steadily stood up.
“Woah, easy there, you took quite a spill, take it easy,'' a rather mellow voice said.
“Ah, thank you…”, I gazed at the stranger.
My mouth and legs dropped to the floor having given up on its purpose.
“Uhhhhhh”, I gaped wordlessly.
“Clarence, pleased to meet you,” he said formally, extending his hoof. I shook it as he leaned into me with his ... shoulder ... helping lift me up.
“I’m so sorry about before. When you took off, I thought something had gone wrong and might have panicked a bit. I’m still rough at this whole shifting business," he stated with a chuckle.
“Uhm, sure," I mumbled.
Words. There are words. Words are a thing that exists. Yes, words.
I looked at him more closely. Bright aqua blue eyes greeted me, covered by a pastel orange coat. Looking away from his gaze, I thought about the strange creature of clashing colors. His orange fur and his red mane…
Huh…
His… fur?
Hooves?
“Wait, slow down, Clarence was it?”
“Yep, I’m just here to-”.
I shushed him with my finger as his eyebrows raised disapprovingly. Not sure what in the world I was doing I gestured with my hand desperately trying to halt whatever was happening. My magical spell seemed to have no effect on my mood.
Take a breathe… Breathe.
I leaned against a concrete pillar from the foundation of the school center next to me. Looking around, cars were moving. The police officer was arguing with the driver.
Clarence was…
The glossy windows of the main school center betrayed the movements of people minding their own business.
But Clarence was…
My bike lay next to the building looking rather sad at its loss against the almighty power of the automobile.
And Clarence…
A hoof rested upon my shoulder. “I know this is," he twirled his other hoof around slightly mimicking my gestures, “Strange”.
Attempting to grab my eyes with his, again, he asked, “What’s your name”?
“Oh, Joshua,” I replied timidly.
The dam broke.
“Hah, so you’re actually a pony. Hah, wow that’s not possible!"
I pointed at him accusingly.
“You’re not possible, haha! But, you’re right there?”
Ignoring my brilliant deductions he proceeded pressing on as if nothing was wrong with the world. It wasn’t broken or anything or completely malfunctioning. Nope. All is well.
“Hey, Joshua, there’s a Cafe right inside this building.” he delivering a knock with his hoof against the rather large structure. “How about we go in and talk this out.”
From the sound of his voice, he seemed absolutely normal. Frankly for someone to try and calmly talk with me like this was already quite strange. Whatever. I can’t even right now. I glanced at the policemen who was somehow still arguing with the driver. Their movements seems just the same as before, which was peculiar.
“Uh, sure Clarence,” I said rather flippantly. Whatever you want buddy, hah.
Raising an eyebrow, he gestured for me to lead. I walked steadily to the doors with Clarence sticking my side in case I tripped or something. I can't even imagine what he was so concerned about. Nope, not at all. I opened the door to let him through, which he gratefully accepted. Finally, we made it to the cafe.
“Hello, can we get two medium coffees. I’ll have mine black, nothing in it”. He looked at me expectantly.
“Alright, I’ll… have it black too, I guess”.
Yeah! Me and this pony are hardcore. We don’t mind a bit of bitterness. I never drink coffee. Please can someone tell me what’s going on.
Following Clarence, we found a low table with two of the miniature sofa looking seats. Eh, I didn’t realize this school cafe had anything comfy like that. He plopped himself right on the chair sofa. I paused for a bit.
Clarence fixed his gaze to me almost seeming sympathetic.
“It’s alright, better to sit down after all that, right?”.
Glad to have some reason I plopped on the low seat looking around at the table. The coffee shop. The cashier who had yet to look at Clarence… ANYTHING but-.
“So, once again, I want to extend a formal apology for frightening you like that. I wasn’t trying to stalk you or freak you out like that. Just trying to reach out.”
He extended his hoof to the point. Leaned back and simply relaxed into his seat, while sitting in it.
"So, how's it going," he asked with a simple smile.
Giving up on using rationality I simply started to go with the flow. He seemed nice and… a conversation couldn’t hurt could it?
“Uh, cold, heh, overwhelmed. School finals, you know?” I commented with a half node to the building around me. Cocking my head with a bemused smile I threw it back, “So how about you ? Thanks for helping me out back there. I probably would have just picked up my bike and…”I let out an audible ground. “I forgot the bike!”.
“Oh no worries, that’s all squared away. The bike is secured to the rack outside now. So what’s your favorite color?”.
Taken aback and realizing that karmic retribution was nigh for all the times I asked my parents all those, what’s your favorite type of thing style questioning, I patiently considered the question.
“I like purple, the deeper shade.”
“Ah, splendid, going for one of the royal colors, eh?”
“Nah, it just feels like it has… I dunno a depth to it. Like there’s something mysterious about it.”
“Even better,” he replied.
Wait, what?
“No, wait, hah, I’m just being silly, though it really is my favorite. Why are you here?”
“I am here with a delivery for you. A secret and something special for the seasons,” he said with a wink. Pulling a watch looking device out of his jacket, he placed it in the middle of the table. Looking closely the inside of the watch was a deep shade of purple with a silver hand gleaming on the dark surface. It looked beautiful. The 12 was replaced with an upward facing arrow that pointed towards a raised dial around the center clock portion of the watch. Various shapes were carved into equally divided subsections of this contraption. One of them, I noted was a tiny looking pony, possibly. Hard to see much of anything on the metallic band. Also, there were no other numbers. I guess I would be able to tell what time it was with the… single hand. What?
Laughing, I said, “Where in the world did this come from? Where are the numbers?"
Raising an eyebrow he looked around furtively. Kneeling in, I mimicked his movements as he whispered, “It’s a secret”.
Letting out a giggle, I couldn't resist putting it on. Strange, it didn’t feel right, no, here. Ahh, yes here. When I was satisfied with its place on my write it let out a click. Okay, that’s peculiar.
Still, looking a bit silly, he fixed me with a more studious look and calmly state, “ Go ahead, press the button.”
A button? Oh, like for setting the watch. Got it. Looking to the left there was indeed a knob… nope just a button. Well how the heck am I supposed to set the time with that. Whatever.
“The secret project now begins,” I said dramatically. The hand started to tick backwards silently. Hah, funny this guy.
“It goes backwards, Clarence”.
“Nope, it goes forwards,'' he stated with a grin.
“Right… you have some interesting items. Don’t you."
Once again grabbing my eyes with his blue pools of water, he spoke, “Are you ok?”
I silently scanned him for traces of patronization. Signs that he was mocking me. Surely he was. I didn't see anything.
“Yes, Clarence, I know this has thrown me for a loop, but it’s fi-”
I couldn’t say it. I tried again
“It’s-”
"I…," damnit, why is this so difficult. Just say it’s fine and move the conversation along. If I told the truth… if … there wouldn’t be...
Clarence stood up on his four hooves walked beside me and sat down putting his hoof on my shoulder again. Perfectly eye level he still held my gaze. I couldn’t… do it…
“Clarence, wow, I mean, we don’t know each other,” I reeled away from his touch.
He seemed unhurt my statement.
“Yeah, that’s true. Is there anyone you do know?”
Okay this is getting ridiculous. Oh, he’s making fun of me isn’t it. I’m not stupid. Everyone can … see what’s on about me. Pity me. Avoid me. Whatever. WTF is this anyways.
“Well, yea- “, I aggressively attempted to make my mouth do smart things but it failed me. “Sure, I-”
Why can’t I just say it. Just dismiss it.
The world was not so steady right now. Kinds of spinning, but that’s not the weirdest part. When the world spins, it’s a queasy thing right? But the colors were blurring… shifting. I’m feeling sick ugh, what’s happening. That feverish dissociative feeling. Ugh, must have been something I ate. Reminds me of my past. I would get these feverish colds and start to dissociate. Nothing would seem real.
“Stop,” He calmly stated.
I looked into his eyes again. They waited patiently. The world was moving around us.
The watch was no longer silent, but I heard a ticking noise. Every-time the hand would make a loop, the exterior band would rotate so that a new symbol was pointed to by 12 o'clock. It was very consistent. It was raining outside. The policeman and the man was still arguing.
Resuming my attention to Clarence I thought about how pretty those eyes were. I never really paid attention to peoples eyes that much. Always had to avoid, just in case.
A high frequency sound was piercing the back of my skull.
NO! Not this.
I grabbed Clarence’s hoof desperately.
“Please, I can’t.”
Fur and hoof wrapped around me.
“You put it on. It fits you Josh. That was very brave of you. His smooth voice broke and he shuddered. I need you to continue being brave.”
He pulled away into the colorful whirlwind that was surrounding us. All there is ...hnghh. I. high spinning.
“He smiled reassuringly”.
What… Is it okay? Will I not be… I...be
He reached out to the edge of my vision directing me towards him. It took everything I had not to pass out. All I could see were those eyes.
“Open the door.”
What is that… high sound… Hnhh it’s like that one time I… No, no, no.
I…
Can’t…
“HEY, you okay sir?”a voice boomed from above.
Groaning, I looked up from the wet asphalt I was sitting on. I was right on the curb where my little bike collision had occurred. The bike lay standing up beside the building foundation. On my wrist was a very strange looking device. A watch with a single silver hand and an outer ring of symbols. It felt right setting there on my arm too. Cool, my first piece of bling. Achievement unlocked.
After many questions from concerned people and possible hospital bills thwarted, I was well on my way back home, finally. I guess I just had my rear tire bumped, and the spill had been more body than face. So I got bodied. Hah.
The chill air felt great heading back home.
Finally at home, I began to sit down and look around. These dreary walls and curtains. Screens and homework scattered everywhere. I just… stared at it.
I feel queasy and feverish.
I jumped with a sudden knock from a tree in the breeze.
My watch was ticking.
I looked at it expecting the hands to be moving, but no, the dial on the outside was ticking. Looking more closely the shapes seemed to be moving as the dial moved. Cool trick.
The shapes spun around as an uncertainly filled my mind.
Why did I feel this way. It just… is so empty. I… am I crying. Dangit. Not now. I need to-.
It stopped.
Stillness.
Looking around my room things started to dance on the desk. The whole room was shaking. Oh hell I am too, a freaking earthquake! Badass, wait, shit, what do I do! I reached for the door to see if everything else was going to shit and hopefully escape this old deathtrap. The door wouldn’t budge though. I peered through the crack expecting to see traces of the kitchen but I didn’t see anything.
“What!”, I shouted as the fan fell down with a crash. The dancing items proceeded to abandon the confines of their shelf into the abyss of splendid freedom. The yelp of a guitar rang out as it hit the floor.
The windows… are blank.
The shaking stops, but there is no silence.
Hello
It’s no big deal.
I’m not going back
I just want to forget
The voices were everywhere. Those dreamlike specters that had seemed so very occasionally real.
I can’t take this. It’s not safe.
SHUT UP. This isn’t helping.
Noone is here. They never were. You’re all alone. Feel good now?
“No, shut up,” I yelled, my vision suddenly very blurry.
It’s coming. It’s coming. You brought it here.
Who gave the order
That last voice was different. Shocked, I recollected a past experience… A dark realization. But… it was in the past. It didn't matter anymore.
“What,” I gasped. “No, no, I didn’t mean too, I’m sorry”
Who gave the order
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry”
Who ordered it locked away.
“N-no, I didn’t”
WHO
I looked out at one of the windows. A flickering red light was...NO.
RUN
FUCK YOU DOOR. Reaching down I twisted the handle and pushed with everything I had, falling through the floor hitting the ground. I let out a painful yelp and starting to scramble back up. Spotting the front door, I dashed straight through the kitchen to reach it. I wasn’t getting any closer. Looking to my sides I found the walls closing in. Everything seemed to stretch forever in a hallway. What, oh there’s the door. Tears bled down my cheeks as I continued to run.
Clip Clop Clip Clop
“Clarence, where are you!” I yelped like a frightened kid.
“Somebody, please help".
My panting increased.
Clip Clop Clip Clop
That sound was so close! Was it Clarence? I kept moving forwards. Almost there.
I reached the door but it wouldn’t budge.
“No, please, let me out!”
I banged the door frantically with my hoof.
“Please, it’s coming”
I paced back and slammed my whole body into the door. Nothing.
I gulped, looking back at the hall which was spinning, and spinning.
A voice echoed softly through the halls.
“You’ve got to open the door, I know you can do it”
“I can’t,” I retorted.
“It’s closed.”
“I don’t want to.”
“There’s nothing I can do. There’s nothing I can do.”
I curled up into the ground.
I… everything... so distant. Can’t… think…
I’m sorry.
Author's Note
Way more pony next chapter. Promise :D
twitch twitch
A gentle breeze caresses my nose as the sounds of a moving vegetation surrounds me. I cautiously push my mind into my body testing whether I am awake or not. Everything feels ... asleep. How long have I been sleeping since … a shudder passes through me. I hear crickets in the background, as my ears twitch to their direction. They can do that?
Opening my eyes I find myself buried in tall lengths of, what feels like, grass. Shifting around, I feel off as I try to uncurl myself, which surprises me, since it was not a normal thing to sleep all curled up. Shuffling around, a sharp pinching sensation runs up my spine.
Ow, how did I manage to sit on my spine. Ugh. I hate mornings. It’s still dark, though.
The palpitations of my heart echo through the night, as I shift again looking for that sitting position. Something keeps getting in the way and moving!
“Well that’s odd,” I think out loud, desperately filling the silent night with something.
I look down. Against the light of the moon, what I see doesn't really many sense. Something light and purple is reflecting off my skin in the moonlight. Directing my gaze behind me I notice something swishing around underneath me. Panicking, I swing my hoof to brush it away causing a shock of pain to run up my spine.
Glaring at the offending pest, I trace up the foreign object up to my… butt. Yep, there’s something slithering from my butt. This has gone full annihilation on me, my DNA has been messed with and various parts of my body are turning into snakes.
Bringing my mind into my breath, I pause. One, two, three, breathe. The shock ebbs away and I gently brush up my hoof against this strange object. The hairy teal covered thing whips impatiently and recoils from my touch. I felt that! Brushing my hoof against this strange creature, I could feel the harsh surface of my hoof rubbing against it. I have a tail.
Taking another shot, I directed my tail to move aside as I propped myself up like a cat. Trying not to think about it, I simply gave another attempt at sitting, moving my tail to the side. Surprisingly, it works.
Returning to the space around me, I glance around, looking for anything. Anything dangerous? Anything useful? What’s going on here? Nothing but silence. My heart feels constricting against my chest as my lungs rapidly expand and contract. I could hear my heartbeat, and my breathe, very clearly.
“Is anyone around?” I asked to no one in particular. “Hello, no one here… right?”
I need to move. This is so very wrong. Got to move now. Pulling strength into my legs I stand briefly as gravity begins to pull me back down. Flailing my arms in front of me uselessly, I dance around on my feet trying to stay up. Realizing that it was no good I brace myself as the ground rushes to my face. Reaching out my hands the ground stops abruptly. I glance down at my arms, grimacing at the taut feeling running through them. I expect to collapse, but my arms held rather steady, two light purple pillars holding me up in place.
Deciding not to risk another change of state I glance around again feeling slightly more comfortable at the new height. I am now taller than the fields.
Huzzah, progress!
Looking down at my … front hooves squished in the blades of grass, I feel fairly grounded in my new position. It feels almost, right in a way. Weird.
Pausing, I look up into the moonlit sky. All manner of stars and formations are painted against the dark sky. Following the stars touching the horizon, fields, reflecting gleams of moonlight, trace their way towards me. Breathing in a shuddering breath, my eyes trace their twisted paths down to my… hooves.
Turning my gaze upwards a faint light can be seen off in the distance. A small flickering orange piece of hope dances there, unassumingly. I feel drawn towards it. Drawn towards anything ... not here.
Around me, only the moonlit fields exist, moving with the slight breeze that ruffles my… hair. With nothing but the frenetic beating of my heart, a sense of unease settles down.
“Alright, no biggies, just walk towards the light,” I whispered out.
Looking down I proceed to move my back legs, slowly forwards. I move my left leg up, pause, then push off with a hop onto my right leg. Finding myself kissing the sky once again my arms flailed around madly, deciding that embracing the earth a much wiser prospect.
Letting out a groan I looked down slowly towards the grass. This is going to take awhile.
A telescope swivels around near a window, eagerly scanning the night for any signs of life.
“Anything to report, tenderfoot?” a young male voice rings out from beyond the telescope room.
“All clear captain, “ a younger voice replies back.
Continuing the search, the telescope suddenly stops, sharpening it’s focus on a distant site.
“There’s something out there!”
A shuffling of hooves fills the room as the older voice rushes to the telescope. “Let me see. There is. Fantastic!”
“Hey, no fair! I found it first, “ the younger voice interjected. “They’re moving all weird, jumping up into the air and falling down over and over.”
“Wait, something wrong? Let me check. Wait … that leg twist. Those unpredictable moves. Yes, those are signals!” The older voice rose in fervor. “Do you know what this means!”
“Oh, pony possession. No, alien abduction!”
“All reasonable deductions tender. But, even better, we have an agent!”
“Awesome! What’s an agent again?”
“Look closer,” the voice rang out confidently.
Looking out into the dark, a rather flustered pony attempted to jump onto their front hooves like a cat, instead, finding themselves face first in the dirt.
“They just belly-flopped onto the ground, “ the younger voice stated with confusion.
“Yes, that’s code for -help required-.”
“What does it mean when they trip over their hooves like that?”
“Agent secrets.”
“Ok…”
I lay on the ground resting in the blissful nothingness of surrender. The cool grass felt nice against my side.
I don’t want to do this anymore. It’s dark. I can’t lay on my back. My tail hurts. My...legs hurt. My arms hurt. My face hurts. Just give me a moment to collect myself, someone, please!
Just as the moment passed, I snapped back up to my four-legged stance of weirdness. Eyeing the horizon of grass warily, I noticed two figures approaching in the dark.
Lowering my body, I eye the two strangers.
It is two ponies isn’t it… Are, they like Clarence? Maybe they know what’s going on! Glancing down at my hooves, I notice the purple hair running into my vision.
I really hope this is normal
The taller of the two ponies approached silently until they were a good ten paces from me. Even in the moonlight, I could tell he was a mix of browns and reds.
His face marches into view and the sight shocks me. He has the most ridiculously pleased smile on his face. I cautiously cock a small grin at him, tilting my head away, to which he hastily silences his own expression. He glances left and right furtively, then nods at me knowingly. He moves his left foot over the other then glances at me expectantly.
Keeping up a rather uneasy grin I glance at the smaller figure in the distance. I can't see their face, yet his head is tilted in my direction.
I guess I'm the stranger here.
Mimicking the pony in front of me, I rise my left hoof and cross it over my right. Uneasily, I sway back and forth slightly off balance. Breathing heavily, I pull back into my center of gravity only to find it resisting me completely. The ground rushes up to me, clobbering my chin, forcing my head to whip back.
“Ugh,” I groan out loud. My head throbs painfully.
Glancing from my position on the ground a look of shock is on his face. He smiles again and nodes eagerly.
“The agent is secured!” he yells back to his friend.
Agent? My thoughts refused to process as pricks of pain dance across my body. Picking up my weariness and pain I stand up again. It has gotten easier.
“We have a secure base,” he whispers to me leaning in close.
“Uh, nice job. Wouldn’t want to be caught out here in the dark, “ I whispered back hesitantly.
Seeming quite pleased with himself, he nods his affirmation and turns around saying authoritatively, “follow”.
Seeing him trot off confidently I look around one more time. Noting the complete lack of anything out in the dark and with a shrug of my shoulders I follow.
Keeping my head low I follow along as we move through the moonlit grass. The secondary figure grows closer until I see the smaller pony close up. He has a giddy little smile in the moonlight.
“Is that the agent,” he whisper-yelled excitedly.
The elder one holds up a hoof and the little pony falls silent.
The older pony has spoken. Some things never change…
Fighting my own traitorous arms, I move forward, stumbling every now and then. Movement was easier now. I'm not sure where my legs are moving or how, but its easier to not dwell too much on it. By letting it just happen I am feel more fluid.
A barn appears in the distance, the moonlight reflecting off it's hue, reflecting a haunting red into the night. The flickering orange light is a candle resting up in a solitary window up top.
The brown pony halts and faces towards me with the little one repeating the gesture. The little one was white as snow, which brilliantly reflects the moonlight. Opening the front door, he flourishes his left hoof.
"Welcome to our base, agent."
Author's Note
Tense is difficult. Trying to keep it present feels childish in a way. That's fine though. I just wish I understand why it feels so weird to me.