Bowl Cuts Are For Heroes

by TCC56

Rating: everyone
Tags: Adventure, Stygian, Maud Pie, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Mud Briar, Silverstream, Romance, Diamond Dogs
Length: 3745

A princess interning as a beautician, a thousand year old author and a dendrologist go cave-diving in the Dragonlands to rescue a Pie from dogs. For love.

A princess interning as a beautician, a thousand year old author and a dendrologist go cave-diving in the Dragonlands to rescue a Pie from dogs.

For love.

Written for the Season 10 Bingo contest, where it took Judge's Choice from Sky Serenade!

Featured 2/11/2020!

Reviewed by PaulAsaran, with a rating of Pretty Good!.

Published 2020-02-11 20:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2020-02-11 20:30:02 UTC

Chapter 1

"Still can't believe that you're here." Babs Seed switched out another pair of scissors, checking it for wear. "I mean don't get me wrong, the company's good ta have but you're a princess or somethin'. I still don't get why you're spendin' a summer internship in a place like this."

Silverstream pulled her wings in tighter as she threaded between the chairs of the narrow shop. "Well, I really wanted to see Manehatten. There's like a million things here that I've never seen, smelled or tasted before! And it's nothing like Mount Aris or Seaquestria! Plus we used to be seaponies and didn't have manes then but we do now 'cause we're hippogriffs so there's, like, nogriff who really knows how to cut manes and it's kind of a lost art to us?"

It had taken a good two weeks for Babs to get used to the way Silverstream would sometimes just unload a barrage of words. The first few times had reduced her to awkward gawking - now she had built up her thick Manehattenite skin enough to just chuckle and nod it off. "Still weird to me. You're nobility an' every noble I've ever met is either stuck-up or flighty as Tartarus. I'd think ya-- aw horseapples."

Her disapproving gaze caught sight of something outside the front window of the shop. Silverstream immediately plastered herself against said window to look as well. "What is it?"

"It's the Bowl Cut Brothers," Babs dourly pronounced.

"Who?" Silverstream craned her long neck about, trying to pin down exactly who on the busy Manehatten street Babs was talking about.

"My worst customers," she groused. "Two of 'em come by occasionally and every time they want the same boring dumb manecut. Every! Time!" Babs stormed over to her station to prepare her tools. "Just that dorky bowl cut. And the one of 'em's always gettin' high and mighty, too! That self-important pedantic ja--"

Silverstream happily yipped. "Mister Mudbriar!"

"--wut." The gears in Babs' head ground like the Super Cider Squeezy.

The pair entered the shop and immediately Silverstream was flapping around them despite the confined spaces. "Mister Mudbriar's Professor Pie's coltfriend!"

"Actually," the tan stallion corrected, "It would be Doctor Pie. While calling her Professor is not incorrect, it is the lesser of the two honorifics and therefore Doctor is the optimal choice. Maud worked hard to get her Rocktorate."

Silverstream did not seem to care. "Pffft, okay! You got it and-- Oh my waves is that THE Stygian?!"

The smaller of the two ponies half-crept out from behind Mudbriar. "Yes? I am-- oh my. You're Silverstream, are you not? One of the students at the Princess' school? I believe Rockhoof has spoken of you."

Instantly the unicorn was enveloped in an enthusiastic, feathery hug. "This. Is. AMAZING! I mean, Mister Mudbriar's pretty cool but YOU? You're a really cool author and you know awesome ponies and you're from, like, a million years ago and you're smart and--"

Babs loudly cleared her throat. "Yo, could we get to business while you talk their ears off? It ain't a super busy day but I bet they've got stuff to do too."

Fluttering back slightly, Silverstream looked at the two stallions. "Oh riiiiiiight, manecutting."

The actual manecutting was fast. Babs quietly noted that just like puns were the lowest form of humor, bowl cuts were the lowest form of style.

That didn't bug Silverstream at all. She was too busy chattering happily and listening to Stygian's stories with the occasional correction by Mudbriar.

Soon enough they were done, leaving Silverstream to sweep up while Babs took the money.

"It's been wonderful to speak with you, Silverstream." Stygian ran a hoof over his freshly done (and visibly unchanged) mane. "I would say we could meet for lunch later to continue, but I'm afraid my companion and I are to leave hastily."

The hippogriff craned her neck around one of the chairs. "Oooooooh? I was wondering why Mister Mudbriar was here anyway. I mean, we're nowhere near Ponyville!"

Mudbriar paused in counting out exact change. "The trip technically is not unreasonably far with the convenience of modern trains."

Nodding, Stygian took it in stride. "Yes. We try to get together once a month or so. This time, it was his turn to visit me. But we're cutting it a little short in favor of doing things differently."

Completely ignoring the glare from Babs Seed as he failed to tip, Mudbriar filled in the blank. "Maud is giving a presentation at a symposium on igneous rocks in the Dragonlands. She was quite excited as this is the first time the dragons have allowed such an event."

"And I'm interested in seeing them," Stygian added, "Since the last time I saw the Dragonlands was with Flash Magnus fighting the residents. A conference hosted by Dragon Lord Ember promises to be a treat."

There were stars in Silverstream's eyes. "A rock conference? With Doctor Pie? In the Dragonlands?!" She grabbed hold of Mudbriar. "Can I come too? Please? Please?"

Panic and annoyance crossed Babs' face. "Hey wait a second, you're--"

"Our train is leaving in half an hour," Mudbriar responded - and then walked out with the other Bowl Cut Brother.

Silverstream squeed. "That wasn't a no!" And she was off like a shot.

Babs stood in the now otherwise empty shop, shell-shocked. "What the apples just happened?!"

Three days later, the trio reached the conference.

It was then that they realized that 'conference' was a bit of a misnomer. Most would expect such an event to be held in a convention center or the like, filled with professionals having deep discussions about the subject matter of the day, vendors related to the topic hawking wares, and maybe a nice brunch buffet spread to munch on.

The 1st Annual Dragonlands Rockference was housed in a lean-to made of large chunks of shale, appeared to have an attendance of fourteen (and twice as many dragons curiously watching from nearby) and the buffet was distinctly sub-par.

"Technically," Mudbriar noted, "No guarantees were made about the contents or quality of the symposium."

"It is a touch underwhelming," Stygian agreed.

Silverstream was too distracted to comment. Instead, she was waving wildly at a dragon who was wearing a hat that said STAFF on it. "SMOULDER! OVER HERE!"

"Silverstream?" The orange dragon flapped over to hug her friend. "What are you doing here? I thought you were in Manehatten!"

Excitedly, the hippogriff beamed as she explained. "Oh I was! But then Mudbriar and Stygian came in to get their manes cut and they told me about this so I came with them to say hi to Doctor Pie and then go back and... oh, I guess I should have asked for time off before I flew out." For a moment, she frowned. And then dismissed the subject entirely. "Oh well, too late now!"

Smoulder held up her claws to stop the conversation. "Wait, wait. All three of you came to see Doctor Pie? We thought she was with you. She's the keynote speaker and she never arrived!"

"Whaaaat!? That's terrible!" Silverstream gasped, voice full of enough drama to make Rarity jealous. "Something could have happened to her!"

"Technically, it already must have. Maud would never fail to arrive for something so important." Mudbriar completely inadvertently struck a dramatic pose atop a rocky outcropping. "Logically we should return along our path from the train station to locate and help her."

Silverstream flapped over, cheering. "Yeah! Let's go save her!"

Their eyes turned to Stygian, who shifted uneasily from hoof to hoof. "I suppose that would be the thing to do. I--I just have never been in this situation before."

An encouraging wing settled across his withers. "Stygian, I read your book. Wasn't what you always wanted was the chance to be a hero?" Silverstream smiled. "The chance to show you could do it too, hmmmm?"

"..Yes. Yes, you're right." Stygian steeled himself, raising his head high. "Perhaps fate has handed me this chance to make amends for what happened so long ago."

Then all three looked expectantly to Smoulder, who immediately shook her head. "Yeah, nah, you got this. And I got this," she noted with a jerk of her thumb at the Rockference. "Unlike Silverstream, I wanna complete my summer internship."

"...I should probably do something about that after we rescue Doctor Pie," admitted the hippogriff.

"Here."

The other two angled over to where Mudbriar was pointing. There wasn't much there beyond a stationary tumbleweed, but it was more than they had found otherwise. The trail between the train station and the Rockvention had otherwise been entirely devoid of clues. Silverstream fluttered around the dried brush, looking at it from several angles. "I don't get it."

Mudbriar pointed at the brush once more. "This is brunsvigia bosmaniae. While native to the region, it is normally covered by pink flowers while rooted and in bloom. This example has passed the blooming stage and should not be anchored to the ground." A nudge of his hoof dislodged the tangle of dry branches from the ground, revealing a hole.

"Camouflage," Stygian noted aloud. "And hiding the secret entrance to some sort of underground lair!" Excitement crept into his words and a smile onto his lips. "If we didn't expect foul play before, this certainly suggests it!"

"Technically there is no evidence that Maud is down that hole or that she was taken there by some force. But in lieu of more viable alternatives, this is the most logical choice of path to investigate further." And with that, Mudbriar clamored into the hole with Stygian close behind.

Below the earth, Stygian lit his horn to give them guidance. It had been a narrow entry to a thin tunnel, but it afforded enough room for the pair. As they continued, they tried to make guesses about what was going on.

"Maud would not have come in here on her own without significant enticement. None of these rocks are notable." Mudbriar scuffed his hoof against one. "Technically, they could be described as being common as dirt."

Stygian blinked. "Was... that a rock joke?"

Mudbriar evenly looked back at his friend. "Maud has been practicing her stand-up comedy with me recently."

"You really must tell me when her next show is." Stygian continued forward in the narrow path, peering ahead to where it opened up into a wider darkness. "I feel supporting her is the least I can AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!"

The ancient unicorn screamed as Silverstream popped out of the darkness directly in front of him. "Hi!," she chirruped. "I was hoping this was where you'd come out!"

"How ever did you get in front of us?" Stygian leaned forward, intensifying his hornlight. The wider space ahead was huge - a proper cavern that stretched into the darkness in every other direction.

Silverstream was completely unrattled by it all. "Oh, I wouldn't fit so I came in the other way. While you both crawled in, I flew up and got a better look. There's this HUGE opening like half a mile away in the side of a mountain. I just flew in that and navigated back to here."

This time it was Mudbriar to tilted his head curiously. "How did you deduce the two entry points were linked and fly through in the dark?"

And the hippogriff merely shrugged. "I used to be a sea pony. Three-dimensional navigation in cramped spaces without much light is pretty normal on the sea floor."

The tan stallion considered that for just a moment. "...Logical."

Stygian beckoned them on. "This way, I think. I see some scrapings on the wall."

The trio gathered around the spot Stygian had indicated. Silverstream squinted in the low light, examining the spot. "Well, there's definitely dragon claw marks here, but some of them are way too small."

"Actually, some dragons are quite tiny when freshly hatched and--"

Silverstream put a feather to Mudbriar's lips, silencing him. "Actually, I meant that the clawtips are too small." She indicated one of the grooves. "Dragon claws are wide, these are pointed. It's how I know who's to blame for ruining the couch when Gallus needs to sharpen his talons."

"So, these are griffon marks?" Stygian questioned, disbelieving.

And Silverstream shook her head. "Naaaah. Griffon talons are too soft for stone. It would have to be..." And she gasped aloud.

"Diamond dogs," Mudbriar surmised.

With that ominous thought, they plunged forward into the gloom. The trail of claw-marks only took them a short distance, however, before several tunnels split off. Before the question could be asked, Mudbriar pointed to one. "Here."

"Um, but the claw marks go off this way." Silverstream pointed up one of the side tunnels. "And that way! ..And that way?"

Mudbriar shoot his head and pointed again. "This way."

Shining his light down the path, Stygian tried to spy in the shadows what was different. "I fear I don't see it, friend."

Leaning down, Mudbriar picked up a single rock. "Because this is where Boulder is." He gave the small stone a gentle pat. "Good job, boy. We'll find her soon."

Boulder remained stoic in spite of the crisis.

Stygian opened his mouth to say something - then thought better of it.

"It's getting kind of warm." Silverstream touched along the walls, feeling the rock. "We must be near a lava vein. Smoulder's told me about those!"

"Technically, it's magma while still underground. Lava by definition is at the surface." Still, Mudbriar looked around with placid concern. "Stygian, please douse your light. I believe we are close."

The hornlight went out and the trio advanced in slow silence.

Just around the next bend, the tunnel flared out into a wider chamber. This one was lit brightly by an open magma flow that cascaded along the room's left side. To the right stood their prize: Doctor Maudileena Daisy Pie. On a rough stone dias and bound by thin chains, she patiently refused to look at her captors - three diamond dogs that surrounded her.

The first of the dogs cleared his throat. "Okay, rock pony! You find gem pockets for dogs!"

"No," said Maud.

"Rock pony is prisoner! Not have choice!" The dog waved a fist at her.

"No," said Maud.

Angrily, the diamond dog grabbed a stick off the ground and raised it like a club. "Rock pony will do as dogs say!"

"Actually, she will do no such thing."

All three dogs, two ponies and one hippogriff turned towards the magma flow. Mudbriar was there, standing expressionlessly defiant atop a rock outcropping and staring down the dogs with a look of utter indifference. "I cannot let you abuse the mare that I love or that stick." A gust of warm air from the magma swept through his bowl cut dramatically.

"Swoon," pronounced Maud.

The three dogs fanned out around Mudbriar, watching him warily. "Dogs have you outnumbered, yes? Stick pony cannot make demands."

"Well it's a good thing he's not really outnumbered then!" Silverstream swooped out of the darkness, taking a wide swing over the magma. One of the dogs moved away from Mudbriar, shifting to keep her from getting behind him.

"Not in the slightest," Stygian added. The shadows rolled off him as he stepped forth as well, horn glowing and eyeballing the dog that turned his direction. "Have at you, blaggard. You'll hurt no innocents today."

Chained on her dias like a fantasy novel cover, Maud's lips twitched slightly in surprise at this turn of events. But she said nothing as the battle was joined.

The one battling Stygian went the fastest - the massive diamond dog slowly advanced on the unicorn with paws ready to grab. "Raaaar!" Stygian paused in slight confusion as the dog felt the need to say the word 'rar' rather than actually roaring. But of those gathered, he had the greatest experience in battle - while the Pillars had been the heroes of their tales, Stygian had been present. He knew how to defend himself.

The diamond dog was obviously not expecting to be hit in the face by a bolt of azure magic. This time it roared for real and staggered backwards, clutching its face. "I know not what your evil plan is, cur, but understand this! You have but a limited chance to flee lest our anger grow too strong!" Stygian charged up another blast. "Run, fool, run!" His voice boomed with magic, echoing in the chamber.

Understandably, the diamond dog decided this was not going well and scrambled for the exit.

Mudbriar faced down his with cool confidence. The dog waved the stick at him again threateningly. "Stick pony want to save stick or save rock pony?" He held his club out, motioning as if to throw it into the magma. Mudbriar's eyes darted between the stick, the diamond dog, and Maud. The dog laughed. "Ha! Stupid pony! Has to choose between mark and heart!"

"Technically," Mudbriar noted, "There is no choice. But if there were, I know that my Mark believes in my heart. It does not need to, however, as I am not required to make a choice."

As the diamond dog attempted to parse what was said, Mudbriar spun whipsaw-quick and planted both rear hooves into its chest. While no apple-bucker, Mudbriar was still an earth pony. The impact sent the dog rolling backwards. It impacted the far wall, momentarily dazed. And the innocent stick dropped to the ground safely.

Nearby, the last diamond dog standing saw the hit. With the other two down and being barraged himself by thrown rocks from a hippogriff he couldn't reach, the dog chose the better part of valor. Grabbing his fellow that was bucked, the last of the diamond dogs retreated.

"That. Was. So. COOL!" Silverstream did a flip in the air as all three heroes gathered to free the captive princess.

A quick stomp of the hoof, and Mudbriar shattered the chains to free Maud. They embraced; he dipped her backwards; they kissed. And Maud repeated herself. "Swoon."

Clearing his throat, Stygian motioned towards a pile of debris with his chin. "My friend, mayhaps you should search for Doctor Pie's belongings over there? You would be the best of us to recognize them, while I check her for any injuries."

With a nod of agreement, Mudbriar and Silverstream began the search for Maud's luggage. Stygian, as he said, used his hornlight to examine her for any wounds inflicted by her captors. Once the others were out of hearing range, he brought his voice to a whisper. "I must ask, Maud. Why did you fake your abduction?"

Her eyes widened an infinitesimal amount in shock. "You figured it out. How?"

"T'was easy," the unicorn admitted. "The first clue was that the passage was marked by an out of place piece of sagebrush. That's a clue that only a pony like Mudbriar would have noticed. Then it was that you left your beloved pet behind to mark the correct tunnel, knowing that none but he would be keen-sighted enough to recognize Boulder. The final nail in the coffin was that those chains were far too thin and would never have held an experienced rock-breaker such as yourself. Add to that the complete lack of any evidence of diamond dog habitation here, the insanity of making a warren inside a dragon den and that none of them actually attempted to harm us..." He shrugged and straightened up from his cursory examination.

A tiny hint of the suggestion of an embarrassed blush came to Maud's cheeks. "Living Ponyville adjacent is very nice, but it also means that our lives are overshadowed. Ponyville is strange because it has some of the fastest, strongest, smartest and bravest ponies in all of Equestria, and being Pinkie Pie's sister means we interact with them often." Her eyes cast downwards, looking to her hooves. "Mudbriar wonders sometimes if he's good enough for me when he sees so many heroes living nearby."

Stygian quietly smiled. "And you wanted to show him that he was a hero, too. At least to you." Maud's nod confirmed it. "Well. I can understand that. I promise you, Maud, that I shall not speak a word of this to him." Both ponies looked to where Mudbriar was extracting a pair of muddy saddlebags from the rock pile. "If my life has taught me one thing, it is that one moment of heroism can do a great deal for one's heart."

Maud's heavy hooves wrapped around Stygian in a hug. "Thank you. You're a good friend to him."

"Quite happy to be so," Stygian said with a smile. "Though I am a bit sad that you missed your keynote speech at the Rockference."

"Oh. I didn't. It was yesterday. I told Mudbriar the wrong day on purpose and then I paid Smoulder a few citrines to say I was lost. I had leftovers after paying the diamond dogs to pretend to kidnap me." The corners of Maud's mouth twitched up in a minuscule smile.

And the pair laughed a quiet laugh together.

Meanwhile, back in Manehatten...

A grumbling Babs Seed swept up the hair from her most recent customer and grumbled about flighty nobles as she did so. "An' here I thought I could get some breathing room this summer. Tartarus-damned noble, running off like that. And with the Bowl Cuts outta anybody!"

The bell at the door rang, and she looked up. "Yo! Welcome to A Cut On Mane. How can I--"

She stopped at seeing her new customers - two tall hippogriffs. One sapphire blue with a white mane and the other soft yellow with magenta. The yellow one stepped forward first, looking around. "Excuse me. I'm Ocean Flow and this is Sky Beak. We were in town and wanted to pay a visit to our daughter Silverstream?"

Babs groaned painfully and buried her face in her hooves. "Of course."

Author's Note

Note to self: next time, do not tell yourself "Oh, I'm sure this will be easy."

Silverstream - Stygian - Mudbriar - Dragonlands - Manehatten

Getting hold of the voices for characters with such low canon use is tough, and finding a plot to incorporate all five parts of the card was a real pain. Still not entirely happy with it, but this one came out better than the other ideas so I'll take it!