A Growing Shadow

by KorenCZ11

Rating: teen
Tags: Mystery, Dark, Other, Horror, Violence, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 16797

A young colt boards a ship to make pilgrimage to the new world. They say it's free world. A green land. But even here, the sky is white.

The days grow colder. The sun hasn't been seen in the sky for over a decade now. Summer has been lost. Ponies set sail from the old world to the new world. A land where summer still comes, food still grows, and green sprawls where it may.

A colt born in the harsh ice of the old world wishes to see the sun again. In hopes that he might find it, that he might find freedom in the new world, he boards a ship to take him there. He learns much and more in the four months the voyage lasts, but at the same time, he loses something he once held dear.

It matters not where he goes, for even here, the sky is white.

Cover art by SliberSternenlicht. Turn around time was about a day from asking for the art, paying, and getting it back. If you've got some extra cash, give her some work, she's worth it.

Initially written for the Quills and Sofas Speedwriting contest 24: Braided Tails/Sunless Winter.

Published 2019-12-16 18:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-12-22 18:00:20 UTC

November

Even here, the sky is white.

When I came to this land, I’d always imagined what a place it would be. Green as far as the eye could see. Flowers and trees sprouting all around like a verdant paradise. Fruit in bushes, vegetables in the ground, bees and birds and bounty. They promised a land free from the king, free from the nobles, free from rule. A place we could finally be free.

But even here, the sky is white.

“Well? Do you have the toll?” the pony at the dock asked.

I did have it. I’d saved every coin I earned, worked my tail off till the braid fell out, and finally the new world was within reach. Four months by sea on the largest sailor in the harbor, we’d skip the cruel winter entirely, and once we made it there, it would be spring. They say that you can see the sun in the new world. That is something I… so desperately wish to see again.

“Here’s your payment, sir.”

The big stallion inspected the bag I offered him, carefully checking each and every coin, biting them to make sure they weren’t fakes. When he’d tasted enough of them, he seemed satisfied. “What’s a little colt like you goin’ to the new world for, eh?”

“I am no colt! I’m sixteen!” I protested. Even I knew I was on the small side for stallions, but I wasn’t that young.

The older unicorn rolled his eyes. “Sure, whatever, boy. This is not a voyage for boys. Nopony has ever said the new world was a kind place. What hopes do you have there?”

“Freedom.”

He eyed me. Looked me up, looked me down, but then met my gaze. I didn’t flinch.

He fished a couple gold coins out of the bag and gave them back to me. “You paid a little extra there, lad. Make sure you count better next time, alright?”

Extra? I barely had enough! I didn’t… He stuffed the coins in my bag and pushed me up the plank. “Go on. Ought to get to know who ya can. You’ll be spending a lot of time with the others on this ship.”

Finally, it clicked. “Oh! Thank you!” Without as much as a second glance, I ran up the plank and took my first step on The Equestrian.

“Four months,” the captain began, “Ahead of us, we can expect rough seas, hard winds, cold nights, and maybe even snow out there. Luckily, we’re not going far enough north to see ice, but should that be the case, there will be no passenger of any kind on this ship, savvy?”

The bearded unicorn eyed the ‘passengers’ on the deck, seemingly waiting for a response. As I looked around, it was a wonder who were the crew and who were the ‘passengers’ he spoke of. There was about one unicorn who really looked like he could’ve owned the place, but everyone else…

“Aye, Cap’n!” came from several of the passengers, which may have actually been crew members. There really was no telling who was what. From fine clothes with fancy embroidery, to… old sacks and shackles. The kind of scenery I was used to was never this… mixed. It made me a little nervous to see them without restraints. You could never tell what they were capable of. Stallions twice my size, twice the size of any unicorn. Even a mare that could shame the largest unicorn on the ship just by standing near him.

She caught me staring at her, but she just smiled at me. I looked away as quickly as I could. It… made me feel strange. I should mistrust them. That’s what father always told me, but… bah, what good has listening to that dastard ever done for me? He’s the reason I’m here. I will never forgive him.

“Good to hear! Get to yer posts and prepare to set sail. The faster we leave, the less we’ll be out at sea.” The crew and passengers, or whatever everypony was, all separated and flooded under deck. Unsure of what to do with myself, I simply moved to the starboard beam. “Doctor!” the captain called.

A tall, slender, unicorn stallion casually sauntered toward the forecastle. He stood below the captain physically, but just by the look on his face, one could tell who held the real power here. I should… get to know him. “Captain,” he spoke with an almost alluring voice.

The captain narrowed his eyes. “I don’t like that look in yer eyes, doc.”

The doctor bowed. “It would be difficult to change my face sir, but I suppose it could be done. What have you need of me?”

The captain spat. “I need ya ta check over the cargo, make sure they’re all sanitary. I don’t trust that slimy viscount as far as I could throw ‘em. If anypony’s likely ta get us killed, it’s that one, I believe.”

I felt my eye twitch. Cargo.

The doctor nodded. “As you wish, Captain.”

The Captain rolled his eyes. “Save yer pleasantries fer somepony who cares. ‘Aye Cap’n’ will do just fine.”

The doctor turned and headed toward the stairs to the galley. “Very well then. Aye, Cap’n.” Just before he went below deck, he paused, turned his head, and stared right at me. Small, cold, piercing yellow eyes made me shiver. He flashed a smile, then disappeared under deck. I swallowed. What was that?

“Boy!”

The call at the back of my neck startled me. “Sir!” I bit my lip. Far too used to that still.

The Captain circled around until he was in front of me. Up close, I could see what a stallion he was. Underneath the long coat and striped white and blue shirt, he was a gold coated unicorn with auburn locks and blonde strands running through his beard and short mane. One blue eye, one gray eye with a scar running through it. A bulky unicorn if I’ve ever seen one.

“Good response, but ‘Cap’n’ will do. You’re the one that paid the fare, didn’t ya?”

I nodded. “Aye… Cap’n.”

He smiled. “Learns quick. Good. A few things you’ll need to know about this here voyage; it’s a hard one. Sea’s a right angry bitch ‘tween here and the New World. We might need all hooves on deck from time to time along the way. You… ain’t the most strappin’ young stallion. Any talent with that horn of yers?”

My eyes fell. “W-well, I…”

“Speak up, boy! I’m an old sailor, ain’t got time for mumblin’ little fillies!”

Body snapped straight, tail tight between my legs, I answered, “I-I was never trained, Cap’n!”

He stroked his beard and sized me up again. “Never trained? How old are ya?”

I swallowed again. “Sixteen, Cap’n.”

He tilted his head to look at my side. I was wearing a coat and pants, anything I could’ve grabbed to keep the truth hidden. He stared at my flank for a long while, and for a moment, I thought I was found out. But, as luck would have it, he shrugged. “Odd, but ya paid, so I won’t question it. Any experience on a ship?”

I shook my head. “No Cap’n.”

“Can ya read?”

I looked away. “No… Cap’n.”

He frowned. “You’re a fair bit shady, aren’t ya? Well, Shady, I believe the best use of ya would be ta shadow the good doctor around and learn a bit of his trade. He’s just a bit strange too, but pleasant enough… when he feels like it anyway. If he takes a liking ta ya, he might even teach ya a thing or two, eh? You’ll find an open room aft the berth deck just before the stairs ta the hold. Once you’ve done that, find the doctor and tell him what I told ya. Savvy?”

“Aye, Cap’n!”

“Good ta hear!” In a quick, sweeping motion, the captain slapped my flank. “Now get to it!”

“Aye Cap’n!”

“He wants you to shadow me? Ha! What an apt choice of words. Very well then, Shadow. I’ll teach you what I can. In four months, you could learn much and more. Of course, that depends on you, though.”

“Depends on… me?” I asked.

The doctor nodded. “Oh yes, very much so. You see, magic is a strange thing. The magic I practice, however, is even stranger. Manipulating the body, targeting and destroying disease, regenerating flesh… there are many ways to go about it. Some, more frowned upon than others by the scholars at large. If you learn my ways, you may see magic in a new light.”

I scratched at my cheek. I hate this feeling. “Sir, I… I don’t really know any magic to begin with…”

He hid his mouth behind a hoof and raised a brow. “No magic? You can at least use levitation, can’t you?”

I chewed on my lip. The doctor’s snout raised and a sharp smile crossed his face. “Now that is simply fascinating. Sixteen years without so much as using the very thing that elevates you above the lower species? I can’t possibly fathom how you’ve gone so long without magical release…”

The doctor stood from his desk and then circled me. His horn went alight, and a yellow aura as bright as his eyes covered my body. “W-what are you doing!?”

He put a hoof on my muzzle. “Silence boy! I need focus!”

And so silent I was. It was difficult. It felt like I was being pricked by needles all over. No part of me was safe from the doctor’s probing magic. Before too long, the tingling was unbearable. My horn was feeling the worst of it. A strange heat began to build up inside it. Like a wall squeezing against my head with sickening force, something inside me was threatening to let go. And all at once, everything stopped. The doctor’s magic vanished in an instant, and I was dropped to the floor like a sack of potatoes.

“Ow…”

“He he he… ha ha ha!” The Doctor picked me up by the neck and brought me within an inch of his snout. “You, my boy, will learn everything I know. We’ve always assumed that it was purity that made powerful unicorns, but you are far from that, aren’t you?”

I swallowed. H-he knows?

“Come now, speak! If you wish to learn, to put that boundless capacity of yours to work, then you must submit to me. Your fears, your desires, your sense of self. Give me your all, and I will give you everything.”

My all? What does that mean? He’s… creepy, but… he really seems like he wants to teach me. If I could learn… The new world could be even more to me… A chance to be free, a chance to be more than… one of them. I nodded. “Okay.”

He set me down, then ran a hoof through his short orange-red mane. “Wonderful. We’ll start immediately. Come with me, Shadow.”

November 6th, The Year of Our Goddess, 607.

It has been ~~four~~ five days since we set sail. The d-o-k-t-o-r has been teach-ing me how to wright write. He says I should keep this journal to praktise every day. He says I learn quik. There is some-thing strange about my magik. It takes well to what he does, he said. I do not quite under-stand it. But, after sixteen years, I kan finally use my horn. If only I kould show father now. I’m not d-e-f-e-k-t-i-v-e.

Letters are strange. Some-times, when I use my horn, I see them in my head around sirkles and patterns. The doktor says that is normal. My magik is red. The doktor says that is not normal. He says, “Most magik kor-re-spon-dz to eye kolor. But, even when that does not happen, it is us-ual-ly klose to eye kolor. My eyes are green.”

He said he might buy one of the ‘kargo’ from the vis-kount to test a the-o-ree. That it might kome from my hi-bird nature. It makes me sik. There were a few mares a-mung them. One pegasus looked my age. And there was a little earth pony who was maybe six or younger. It is strange to be on the other side. Look-ing at them makes me sad.

Sunny and Moonlight

“Shadow, you know that magic… and well, most of these words, are spelled with a ‘c’ don’t you?” the doctor asked as he read over my entries. It’s been about a week since I wrote the first one, and I hate to look at it. I can’t even correct the mistakes because I pressed too hard with my quill. Thick, bold letters that would make a normal pony look insane. The entries improve with time, but spelling concepts still confuse me. What kind of letter is ‘C’ anyways? It steals the sound of ‘K’ when it feels like it, it steals the sound of ‘S’ when it feels like it, and sometimes, it does both in the same word! Infuriating.

I sighed. “I do, sir.”

He flipped through the pages again, marked a few things down beside certain words he circled, then gave the book back to me. I focused my thoughts at my horn, saw the circle fill with letters, and with a little tingle to my forehead, it lit. My magic reached out for the book, and once it was completely draped around it, the doctor let it go. Slowly, carefully, deliberately, I brought it to my hoof. I let go, and finally, I could breathe.

He shook his head. “Shadow, you must learn to breathe and cast at the same time. Using your magic should be as natural as taking a piss. Let it flow through you, do what it must once it’s outside of you, and peter out when you run out.”

I blinked. “That… is an analogy.”

“It is! I see you’ve made it through the A’s in the dictionary I gave you, hmm?”

“I have.”

“Very good. You have a bright mind, Shadow, a very bright mind. Spell craft seems to come naturally to you. Though you are inexperienced, you’ve picked up most of the basic spells in merely a week. With practice, a time may come where you can perform very complex spells effortlessly. Now then…”

The white coated unicorn that was the doctor stood and stretched. “It has been two weeks since we last checked them, and we must make sure that no disease spreads on this ship. Come, Shadow.”

My teeth found the inside of my cheek. Them. Cargo. I hate it.

“Shadow?” It was less the name he’d given me than the tone in which he called it that pulled me out of my head. The doctor I’ve come to know is very cold, but excitable. He is a stallion that would pick apart, even a unicorn, just for the fun of it. Yet, in that moment, it almost sounded like… concern.

“Sorry, coming sir.”

In the hold is where they were kept. Twenty official crew members, including the Captain and the doctor, eight passengers, including myself and the viscount, and… forty cargo, including the two fillies. The ship was under capacity by a large margin, and the crew was understaffed. Nearly all the cargo belonged to the viscount, and so he loaned them to the captain to serve as make-shift crew members to perform various tasks that required little skill. They were mostly used as labor, sometimes as cooks.

The viscount has made mention of his grand fortunes back in the old world, and he plans to use his cargo to build himself a castle in the new world. They say that there’s a mountain in the new world that breaks the sky. There isn’t another mountain in the old world anywhere near as tall as this one is, and the viscount said he wanted to buy it. Apparently, somepony beat him to it though. They mentioned the name of the buyer and it made my skin crawl. Even after all this time, after all this effort, I still might not be able to escape him.

Of the cargo, most were earth ponies, about a third were pegasai, and there were a few more ‘exotic’ creatures among them. A striped earth pony from a faraway land that speaks little and less of the language that I’ve only just begun to learn to read. A griffoness that serves the viscount personally. It is rare to find her with the rest of the cargo and not in the viscount’s quarters. She sings in a strange tongue. The viscount always mentions how he likes her tongue.

He reminds me of my father.

We began like we did the first time, starting with the stallions, and moving through them one by one. Like animals, we check their vitals, make them perform a physical task to show they’re still in useable condition, and once the doctor runs his disease check and clears them, they’re sent on their way, either back to the hold, or back to work.

As my magic has improved much and more in the past two weeks, I was given charge of a quarter of the ponies myself. It was… uncomfortable to be touching… them the way I needed to. But, after the first few, I was used to it. Check the stallions here, check them there, have them lift a few barrels, run the scan spell, move on to the next one.

They weren’t very talkative, though I suspect few of them had anything nice to say to me, one of the overlords. How they would laugh if they knew… Finally down to my last two patients, the fillies presented themselves to me.

“Hi! Are you doing the thingy today?” the older one asked. She was… very close. Unlike the others, she didn’t smell of sweat and sea salt like the dank of the hold, but she smelled… like flowers. It made me feel strange.

“I-I am. Please remain still.”

“Okie-dokie!” the energetic young mare exclaimed. She simply radiated positivity. I can’t understand why. I was always miserable when I was in her position. With the pegasai, the first thing I was to inspect was her wings. I pulled out the first one, checked that none of her feathers were damaged and… oh… that smell hit me full in the snout. So sweet, she was. It made my mouth water.

“Shadow!”

The doctor’s call pulled me out of whatever was going on. “Sir?”

He rolled his eyes and pushed me away. “Release the filly, I will do this exam.”

I did as I was told and moved away. “Oh… of course, sir.” The doctor began her examination and at a certain point, I turned away. Something strange was happening to me, and I didn’t know what it was. This happened when he did this last time as well. Every time he inspects a mare, I…

“Shadow? Hey!” The doctor clapped in my face.

“Sir!” Again with the reaction.

He was standing over me and leaned his eye close to mine. “Dilated pupils, increased temperature, salivation. Tell me Shadow, do you know why you’re experiencing those three things right now?”

I thought on that. Am I? I couldn’t very well check my pupils, but I could feel the other two well enough. “I… I don’t know sir. There was a scent…”

The doctor rolled his eyes. “And that explains much and more. Shadow, you are a scholar now. You will devote yourself to the study and practice of magic from henceforth. These feelings of yours will only complicate things and make that study more difficult for you. This won’t do, this won’t do at all…”

He locked eyes with me, and held that gaze for what felt like forever. The cold, piercing look he’d first set on me. Even now, it filled me with a sense of dread. Then, he turned it on those poor fillies. The older one cowered, and the younger one cowered beneath her.

“What does the Viscount call you?” the doctor asked.

“I-I’m #23 sir, b-but some ponies call me Sunny…” the pegasus answered.

“That is a rather high designation. How long have you served the Viscount?”

“Four years, sir.”

He looked her up and down, much like he did me, then ran his magic over her. She squirmed and made little noises as the doctor’s magic threaded her like a sewing needle. Again, it made me feel strange, but even more so than before. He dropped her, much like he did me, then went to inspecting the little one. She protested, even screamed and cried, but the doctor cared not. Satisfied, he turned toward me.

“I can see this will become an obstacle for you. One of two things will happen: either this will become a source of strife for you… or, it will give you power. I wonder… perhaps it may improve your growth to… act on new desires. Yes, I think this may very well be good for you, actually. A change of plans is in order!” He turned and picked up the little filly.

“What is your designation, sweetling?”

The little blue earth pony stuck her tongue out at him. In a shock to likely all of us, he bit it. She went to scream, but in an instant, she found her muzzle held tight by gold magic. “Sweetling, I asked you a question. Would you be so kind as to answer it?”

Whatever feeling had captured me before, ice had replaced it and gripped my heart. Tears in her eyes, the little earth pony nodded. “#24, s-sir. P-ponies call me Moonlight…”

The doctor smiled a smile that would make food rot from exposure. “Wonderful. I will clear it with your master, but henceforth, both you and Sunny will accompany Shadow at all times. Is that understood?”

“What!?” The words found their way out of my lips before I could stop them.

The doctor turned on me like a snake. “Ah-ah-ah, Shadow. What did I tell you about questioning me?”

I bit my lip and backed away from him as much as I could. “I-I apologize! I didn’t mean it!”

Still holding the filly, he stepped closer to me. “No, no, no, my dear Shadow. What came from your mouth was what you most earnestly feel. Exclamations like that are something you can use against your enemies! They can reveal so much in so little. A single word like that can tell you how confused and alarmed the last thing they heard has made them. From there, you can then press further, drawing more emotions out of them like piercing a wine skin and watching it all. Flow. Out.

“Remember my words, Shadow. You may find them useful one day.” He dropped the filly in my lap, and then straightened himself. In an instant, the air had changed. “Do what you will with them. As far as I’m concerned, they’re simply more pieces in my grand experiment that is you. Complete your journal entry as usual, and make sure to denote their anatomy. Understanding what makes the lower species unique, these two in particular, will further your development.”

November 20th, The Year of Our Goddess, 607.

Today, I finally managed to finish my sketch of Sunny’s body. There seems to be magic that flows through her wings, but unlike a unicorn, the magic that flows through her is very weak and only in select places. Though, what I find so odd about her is that it seems almost as if she would be capable of performing magic were she to have some kind of outlet for it, but because she doesn’t, there’s a sort of ‘dead zone’ within her body.

Magic vessels, the ‘veins of magic’ that flow through all species, are found most predominantly in ponies. Though they look similar, zebras, or at least the one zebra the Viscount owns, has even fewer vessels than the average earth pony. Sunny’s vessels are strange though, even for a pegasus, because it almost looks like her framework is that of a unicorn’s.

Now that the doctor has explained how ~~fornika~~ ~~phornika~~ foals are made, I understand a bit more clearly what I was feeling last week. But why he gave me Sunny and Moonlight instead of any of the older pegasai or earth pony mares makes more sense to me now than him just wanting me to, and I quote, ‘get it out of my system.’ Both of them have unicorn framework in their magic vessels. Given a horn, either of them would be capable mages.

As he’s explained to me, hybrids have a tendency to carry over traits of both species they originate from, but usually suffer from degradation of those traits that make them weaker overall. My case is unusual because I have uniquely large and free flowing magic vessels, much like the vessels that are found in an earth pony’s hooves, but through my whole body. It’s what makes magic come so easy to me, and what makes the doctor so interested in me. Or so I think, anyways. ~~I still don’t quite understand why~~

Moonlight seems to be my counterpart though, and she can often do odd, magically charged things with her hooves. She has particularly active vessels in her hooves that coincide with her unicorn framework to make her something of a rare breed. I’ve found her running up the sides of the ship walls before. She’s particularly ‘sticky’ when she wants to be.

Though Sunny doesn’t particularly like to talk about it, I once ordered her to tell me about her and Moonlight’s relationship. As the story goes, they share the same mother, whom was a daughter of a noble. She was a lush and a lecher, and she had a fondness for stallions. As Sunny recalls it, she would often take her ~~slaves~~ servants to her quarters to use them while her husband was away. The first time it happened, Sunny’s father was executed for violating his mistress. The second time, however, it was her turn.

Since then, Sunny has taken care of Moonlight. She’s barely old enough to perform most tasks, so Sunny has been sold with Moonlight both times she’s changed hooves. The viscount bought her when he was served her cooking while visiting the noble she was serving at the time. He called it, ‘an angelic delight’ and was shocked to learn that a pegasus had done it.

Every day I am more thankful that the goddess saw it fit to free me. Seeing them makes me wish I were stronger, back then. If I knew then what I know now, I could’ve killed father and escaped with mother. But… the viscount makes me doubt. The new world is a free place, isn’t it? Escapees can survive there. Ponies can live without the fear of being captured and traded like… like cargo. Can’t they? ~~I wonder if she’s still alive~~

December

“Sell you #23 and #24? Surely you jest, boy.”

Just being near him makes my teeth grind. If I just charged right at his chest, I could use a sharpening spell on my horn… It would be messy, but… I shook my head.

“Well, not… particularly. What did they cost you? Surely two fillies like them aren’t worth much considering your grand plans, right Viscount? What good is a pegasus that can barely fly, and a six-year-old going to do you when you go to build your castle?”

It has been little more than a month since the doctor had assigned them to me, and here I am, doing something stupid, asking to buy them from this cretin. I can’t stand the thought of her in his hooves. The very idea of it makes my blood boil. The doctor even made mention of my attack spells and my curses being more powerful than usual as of late.

“It seems as if giving you those fillies was good for your growth. Tell me, have you… experienced the taste of a mare? Or is it something else that drives you to become so powerful? You must be careful, Shadow. While classical magic is immune to it, our magic fluxuates with emotion…”

He treats them like they’re things too! He’s no better than the viscount! To all these righteous unicorns, they are property and nothing more! Sunny doesn’t deserve this. Neither does Moonlight. I would bet half of those ponies were born into this life just like we were. Some sick game the unicorns play with each other. Disgusting.

“Bah! What did they cost me he says! What a daft little fellow you are. Listen here, boy, That filly there is worth more than you could ever make! Eighty gold! That is what I bought her for! Do you have such coin? Some, street urchin like yourself, has likely never seen so much gold in his life!”

E-eighty gold!? It took me two years just to get the four and a half it cost me to buy my fare!

“And you want them both!? Ha! Ridiculous! A pegasus, unsullied, of age, with unicorn blood, is worth more now than she was before I bought her! And the filly? She has even more unique blood than her sister! No, eighty would not be nearly enough! Two hundred. Scrounge that together, and I’ll even throw in the zebra.”

My eye twitched. Not a name, not even a number. The cargo. Things. I swear here and now, this stallion will not set hoof in the new world. The new world is a place for freedom and green land. You have no place in it. The sharpening spell had already risen to the forefront of my mind, and I was prepared to put the magic into it when a wing draped over my back.

“Shadow, please. It’s okay. We knew better.”

The muscles in my foreleg tightened. Even if I killed him now, what would that do for me? The captain and the crew could surround and kill every slave without so much as batting an eye. The magic I know is only now getting to the level of something a normal unicorn my age would’ve learned two years ago. I’m not strong enough to protect them. I can’t free them as I am. I need more time. I still have time. I must wait. Remember the doctor’s words. Sunny and Moonlight are valuable to him. They’re worth a lot. Perhaps if I…

I shook my head. That isn’t fair. That certainly isn’t fair to Sunny. That would make me no better than him. She… she should have a choice. It should be her choice. The goddess says that ponies… should be free. Should treat each other as we would want to be treated. It’s this system that’s in place that must be destroyed. The new world… is a free land. And if it isn’t yet… I will make it so.

“Fine. I’ll get your gold.”

The viscount snorted. “Preposterous. And where will you do that on open waters as far as the eye can see?”

I lowered my snout. I caught the viscounts eyes, and stared him down until he flinched. Weakness. A disgusting creature like you must be exterminated. I will dangle the very thing you long for right in front of you just before I watch the life slide out of your breath. Just as the doctor says… all lives are equal in the eyes of magic. Yours will fuel my spells just as good as any other…

“Just you watch. I’ll even sweeten the deal. Two hundred and forty gold. Three times what you paid for them, right?”

He swallowed. “W-well, I suppose that would… that would satisfy…”

“Good. I’ll have it to you before we make land. Come along, Sunny.” I turned, and just like that, we left the viscount’s quarters. By the time we reached mine though, I collapsed and nearly fell on my face.

“Oh sweet goddess… That was too much.”

“Shadow! What did I tell you about overexerting yourself? Keeping a spell ready like that is hard for a regular unicorn, but you don’t even have the endurance of a normal one!”

“How could ya tell sis?” Moonlight asked. I had her stick to the ceiling during the meeting just in case the viscount tried to pull something. The captain said he wouldn’t trust him as far as he could throw him, and these days, I think my father’s words were backwards. It’s not the lesser ponies I shouldn’t trust, but the unicorns.

“Well, his eyes get all… sharp when he does stuff like that. Remember when the doctor was having him shoot light off the deck?” Sunny asked.

“Uh-huh.”

“Well, it happened then, and even more when the doctor was teaching him curses the week after. You always look so scary when you do things like that Shadow…”

Ugh, she looked at me with those eyes! Those, big, sad, violet eyes! It makes my heart hurt. I just want to hold her. How could anypony ever have seen her as a thing? An object? A tool? She could be the goddess herself!

“Shadow? Are you crying?” Moonlight asked.

I reached out with my magic and brought both fillies to me and wrapped them in my hooves. “No, no… I just… I’m so happy you’re here.”

We held there like the for a while. Then, Sunny freed herself. “Well, I suppose I’m happy you’re happy, Shadow. But what I don’t understand is how you’re going to buy us.” Her pale cheeks started to turn pink and she moved her eyes away from me. “And um… you… you mean it, right? You… you really want us?”

I swallowed. I would die for you. “Of course! It’s not like I was… entirely talking from my plot.”

Sunny sighed and let her head droop. “Right. Do you have a plan at all, or was that just you puffing out your chest just like the viscount does when the doctor is near? It’s not very manly if there’s no weight behind it, ya know.”

I stroked Moonlight’s mane, and she responded by nuzzling my chest. No pony will lay hooves on these two. Not so long as I live. But… what in the world am I going to do? I’ve only got two gold. Even if I stole every coin on the ship, that would hardly amount to two hundred forty. Magic is what made me confident, so magic is what’s going to have to solve this for me. Think. What have you learned?

The beam spell feels like it would be most useful here. It relies heavily on the creation aspect of magic. Unlike most spells I’ve learned so far, I create little mirrors that force light to reflect all on one spot and bounce around a number of times to increase intensity until finally, I let go to have it blast off in a direction.

The doctor said that there are some unicorns that can do this repeatedly in seconds and with multiple starting points. Making the mirrors is easy enough, but forcing the light to tunnel continuously is what makes it difficult. If I could just… copy…

Copy? Copy; a thing made to be similar or identical to another. Is it possible? I wonder…

December 27th, The Year of Our Goddess, 607.

When I finally do kill the viscount, it will be slow, painful, and as agonizing as I can make it. He said to me, “I wanted to make it easier for you, so I’ve lowered the value of the goods you wanted. Surely that isn’t a problem, is it?”

She came to me the next morning, sobbing and blubbering like some poor wounded animal. I was tempted to go take care of it right then and there, but now I know better. There’s a game being played here, and I’m being tested.

The doctor has often made mention that my anger seems to increase the power of my spells. If I were to make a guess, I would say, ‘lowering Sunny’s value’ was his idea. The viscount and the doctor. A spineless creature like the viscount wouldn’t have the temerity to do something like that on his own, certainly not without the right encouragement. But to get back at somepony who slighted him? He could even part with some of his precious gold for that…

No, this is all part of the grand experiment. He wants me to become his successor. A project for him to watch flourish. His mistake was teaching me to think like him. Because just like him, I’ll be as cold and ruthless as I need be to achieve my goals. At any cost, at all costs, we will be free of this system, and he will burn with it.

Recently, I started to do some study on my own while the doctor is performing his duties for the ship. As my idea for the beam spell progressed, I managed to figure out something of a crude version of it that can copy objects. By merging the scan, the copy property of the mirrors, and the creation property of the beam spell, it seems if I can visualize it well enough, I can turn something else into a ‘copy’ of whatever object I wish, so long as it’s of similar size. It only lasts a few hours, but that should be more than enough time to create the despair I want in the viscount’s eyes.

Slow and painful. Like spilling a wine skin… the doctor, however, is another matter entirely. I’ve completed a scan of the viscount, the Shadow spell the doctor taught me being particularly useful, and as it turns out, he’s far less powerful than he’d like anypony to believe. The doctor on the other hoof… I couldn’t even begin to comprehend what I was looking at. It was almost… like there was nothing inside. Perhaps that is yet another test? He must sense my animus. He’s always been very perceptive, and if Sunny notices that my eyes change when I use magic, then surely he does too?

Yes, that will be the true test… I’ve come to the conclusion that I no longer wish to allow the doctor to read my journal. The shadow spell has a number of properties to its masking abilities, but how to deconstruct it once it’s in place is something I’m not entirely sure about yet. The first entry I wrote was the day I met Sunny. Those seven numbers, and both of their numbers will be the key. If ever I forget, I’ll tell both of them to remember the number. 11-06-607-23-24. I will reach the new world. If it is not the place I’ve dreamed of when we get there… then I’ll simply have to make it that way.

January

“Doctor!” I called.

“Hmm? What is it Shadow?”

“The scan came up with something. There’s… something wrong with this pony.”

The doctor sent off the last pony he scanned, then cacme over to my side to look at my patient. One of the earth pony stallions that had often served the ship had developed a cough. It wasn’t unusual for ponies to cough like he does, especially with how cold it’s gotten in the last few weeks, but his was a little different than the norm.

There was a rough storm that came out of nowhere last week, and many of the crew and slaves were drenched for several hours while they fought to keep the sails down. A few came down with colds, but we didn’t think there was anything serious to be worried about. However, we didn’t check the slaves after the storm…

“This does not look good. Take him to the sick bay, we’ll have to get a closer look there. I’ll run the last of the scans. Go ahead and start by boiling some water. This shouldn’t take me long.”

“Sir.”

With haste, we made our way to the sick bay and as we passed the captain, I let him know what was going on. We’d only had instances of overwork and one instance of magic strain since we started the voyage, and the captain has said that was something of a miracle. Somepony always gets sick in the first week, and it’s always something deadly. Based on the doctor’s words… I don’t have high hopes.

“So… what do they call you?” I asked after I’d gotten the water boiled and the stallion was laid down.

He eyed me. “Is ‘at an order, sir?”

I had to pause for a moment. An order? Why would… oh. I’m so used to having Sunny and Moonlight around that I… “Ah, no. You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to.”

The stallion rolled his head back on the pillow and stared at the ceiling. “They call me Blackwood. Count calls me #36.”

“I see… how long have you… been in service?” This stallion was no newly grown colt, that’s for certain. If I had to guess, he was probably older than the doctor.

He chuckled. “Is ‘at what they call it now? Ha!” His laughter fell into a coughing fit, and I quickly helped him to sit up. “What makes ya curious, sir? I’m just another one of ‘is slaves.”

Every day I grow more comfortable with that word is another day I feel like I’ve lost something. I gritted my teeth. “Nopony is ‘just a slave,’ Blackwood.”

The stallion backed away. “Is… is ‘at right?”

I shook my head. My eyes must’ve been doing that thing again. I need to be more conscious of that in the future. Even if he’s just as evil as the rest of them, there’s truth in the doctor’s words. “At least, that’s what the goddess says.”

He chuckled again. “The goddess, ey? ‘Aven’t ‘eard bout her in a while. My parents and I were caught in the south seas back when I was ‘alf your age. Pirates can live a good life, so long as they don’t get caught, ey?”

Another coughing fit, I took the towel out of the water bucket, wrung it out, and put it on his back. The cough receded and it looked like Blackwood had relaxed. “How long have you been coughing like that?”

He snorted. “Most of my life, sir. Born on a boat, traded on a boat, put to work on a boat. It’s my talent, so they use me where they can. Known the Cap’n longer than the Count. This ‘appens when it’s cold like ‘at out there. Just surprised it ‘asn’t ‘appened sooner, really.”

Talent, huh? Must be nice to have one of those. “Oh… so you’ve been sick like this before?”

He coughed, nodded, and coughed again. “Few times. Seen it kill a few of us before. Even unicorns. The sea bears no prejudice, she’ll kill ya when she feels like it.”

“I see…” We held silent for a while, and I wondered if I should ask. If he takes it the wrong way, Sunny or Moonlight could get caught up in it and killed. And I’m one of the unicorns. If I were him… I would make sure every horn was broken… But, what does it gain me if I don’t ask? If I make it to the new world, and it turns out to be just as corrupt as the old world, I’ll need ponies…

“Shadow, I found another. Get more water ready and prep the table. I still have a few ponies to check, so keep it hot.” The doctor called from further in the ship.

“Yes sir!” I made my way to the stand and poured more of our clean water into the kettle. Using my magic, I created a flame just under it and held it there. Though I’ve improved greatly over the last two months, I still have trouble maintaining spells. Curses seem to be more my forte as far as the doctor is concerned, but when I do use spells, I can use them in powerful bursts. I nearly melted the last kettle because of it.

“You don’t seem… like them. What are ya, if ya don’t mind me askin’ sir?”

The kettle sang, and I took a breath as my magic faded out. It isn’t complex or powerful, but it always takes it out of me. I prepared another bucket and asked, “What do you mean?”

Blackwood looked me up and down. “Ya ain’t got the build. I’ve seen pure unicorns before. There’s a bunch of ‘em in the crew. Where’d ya come from, sir?”

Should I tell him? I suppose I could curse him to keep him quiet if I really wanted to. But… I shouldn’t. Would he tell anypony else? “Well… that depends. How loose are your lips?”

Slowly, he nodded. “Only speak when spoken to, sir. Though, ya got me talkin’ more than anypony else ever ‘as.”

Setting the kettle back on the heat stand, I went to peek out the curtain. It didn’t look like anypony else was near the sickbay, and there were only slaves in the galley at all right now. I pulled it back and met the old stallion’s eyes. A dark green coat, a dusky gold mane, a few highlights here and there. Blue eyes.

“My mother was an earth pony. I have… or had, anyways, many siblings. I was the only unicorn among them. My father needed an heir, and his wife couldn’t bear foals. He did have a number of slaves though, and there were rumors of unicorns using them to produce more suitable inheritors than pure breeds could.

“Even so, I… I couldn’t use magic. They tried and tried to teach it to me when I was a colt, but it just never stuck. I was useless. And after another few siblings were born, he finally found a mare that gave him a son who could use magic. I was given back to my mother and put to work with her. ‘A magicless unicorn is no more useful than a slave,’ I remember him saying to me.”

Blackwood grimaced. “… ‘at’s rough, sir,” he said solemnly.

I nodded. “It was, but… even so, life was better with mother than it was with him. She was one of the few of us that could read, so she would often read the goddess tome to me at night. A day came when there was an opportunity for me to escape, and my mother had me take it. She told me to run to the new world. A place of freedom and green land. Somewhere where… even a slave could be free. It took two years of working odd jobs and sleeping in streets and begging for coins, but eventually, I made enough to join this voyage. It seems as if mother wasn’t quite right though…”

Blackwood sighed. “Aye, that’s the truth of it, ain’t it? But, she wasn’t quite lyin’ bout the green part, ey?”

I blinked. “She wasn’t?”

He nodded. “Aye. It doesn’t ’appen fer long, but there are a few weeks in the summer where the ice melts, the snow stops, and even the sky clears. Grass grows wide and tall. Flowers and trees grow leaves and petals. Ponies can grow food above ground, even if its just fer a little. I’ve only seen it once, but I ‘ave seen it.”

So it’s real? The green? The blue skies? It… wasn’t a lie?

“Shadow! Is everything ready?” the doctor called.

“Yes sir!” He was on his way back with two more ponies behind him. He would snap at me if he caught me talking to Blackwood, so quickly and quietly, I said, “Thank you.”

January 13th, The Year of Our Goddess, 608.

Blackwood didn’t last through the week. I couldn’t save him. My magic isn’t geared toward healing. Even what little I could manage was a surprise to the doctor. The other two sick ponies managed to pull through it, but Blackwood was old. The viscount said, ‘36 was a product bought used with little shelf life left anyways. It wasn’t much of a loss.’

I almost want to let him live, just so I can put him through it. See how he likes it, being a slave. Just like my father, I’ll snap his horn off and call him an earth pony. Give him nice and tight shackles, make him wear a chain like the rest of them. How delightful… Of course, even in my quiet ramblings one night, Sunny was more awake than I thought she was and told me how wrong that was. Nopony should be enslaved. Even the slavers.

The goddess says we should treat others as we want to be treated. That we should love one another. How is it that the world has become so twisted? Does the goddess not predate all this? No, that’s a bad line of thought. The doctor says that the tome was written in a time long before the one we know. It predates civilization, far before our calendar was ever started. A book that survived through every age without so much as losing a page. It has no magic of its own, but that’s something of magic itself, isn’t it?

But even if that’s true, how is that fair? Isn’t the goddess also justice? Is it not just to punish evil doers? Is there any evil greater than slavery? I suppose what the viscount did to Sunny is more evil than keeping her in chains. I was ready to kill him before, I just about did it then. I think… it is going to feel very, very good when we finally see land.

I’ve nearly mastered teleportation. I can warp between any deck I so desire without so much as losing a breath. The doctor was astounded. There isn’t a single other unicorn here that knows how to do it, and that is a good thing. All the doctor knew was the theory behind it. He, like me, isn’t very good at what he calls ‘classical magic,’ but I am more powerful than he is. We both excel at curses, and I have a number of those in play already. All, of course, in combination with the Shadow spell so nopony can find them.

Yes… when we make land, it will be a very good day.

Our Magic

“I have a question, doctor,” I said. It was early in the morning and the doctor was having me run drills with my spell work, when a thought occurred to me.

“Yes? What is it Shadow?”

“What is the difference between classical magic and ‘our’ magic?”

Again, that particularly nasty smile the doctor has crept up his face. From his seat on a barrel on the deck, he started to approach me. “An interesting question. What causes it?”

My journal entry from a few days ago, really. When I went to reread it before I put the encryption on it, I realized that I said ‘classical magic’ as if it were something different than what I know. But when we come to do spell practice, the doctor always makes sure to call something ‘classical’ and ‘ours’ when he teaches me something new. The first spell I ever learned was the shadow spell. The shadow spell is ‘ours.’ Levitation, however, which is what he taught me next, was classical. Curses are always ours, and attacks are ours half the time, and classical the other half. Healing spells are mostly classical, but regeneration spells are all ours. Why is that?

I see the patterns in my head for these spells, when he draws them out for me, but I can never tell the difference between ours and classical. It’s all just magic to me. There’s nothing I can really say that makes something obviously ‘ours’ or ‘classical,’ other than the effort I have to put into it to make it work. Maybe if I had been able to learn when I was younger, I might know, but… why does the doctor make the distinction? I always thought he seemed like the most powerful pony on the ship, but why is that? What would make the viscount agree to give Sunny and Moonlight to me if he intended for me to sully them? Something… just isn’t right.

“I was thinking about it the other day. As far as I can tell, magic is magic. Some of it is harder than others, but I don’t know what makes the difference. I do know that whatever you call ‘ours’ is always easier for me, but I don’t understand why that is…”

He raised a brow, but that smile of his never left his face. “Well now. Truly, I was lucky to have come across you. You are a very bright mind indeed Shadow, very bright. Let’s take a look at some of the core spells you know. Our spell, your spell, the ‘Shadow’ spell, and the classical ‘Levitation’ spell. As you’ve learned by now, most spells grow in complexity, not because their patterns are more complex, but because they consist of more patterns.”

With his magic, he drew in the air. First, the pattern for the shadow spell, then the pattern for the levitation spell. It never occurred to me how different their patterns were before, but seeing them side by side… certainly makes it clearer. The first thing that caught my eye was the way the letters were placed. The levitation spell was plain, simple, easy to read. A simple shape crossed by another simple shape with a few words of power around the circular matrix. Nothing special.

The Shadow spell however, was like another beast entirely. Nothing about it was simple. There were several patterns and geometric shapes that all intersected at seemingly random points and angles. There were words of power along the circle’s edge, the interior matrix, and several of the major shapes that formed it. The strangest thing about it all was that none of it was anything I could read. I didn’t know what the words said, but… I clearly knew what they meant. If I didn’t have the understanding to back the power, I wouldn’t be able to cast it, so why…? Did I not notice this before? That was back before I could even read very well at all… How does it work?

“Yes, Shadow, these spells, in retrospect, are simply magic. The right pattern, the right words, the right amount of energy, anypony can cast a spell, unicorn or otherwise. Magic is, in part, a science. If you understand it, if you meet the parameters, anypony can do it. That is what makes a science.

“The Levitation spell? It is ancient, classical magic. With all classical magic, it can be easily deconstructed, it can be read plainly, and anypony can decipher, translate, and then use the spell, provided they can put power into the matrix, which, almost only unicorns can do. Your little #24 being the example of an inferior pony capable of superior things. Rare, exceedingly so, but not impossible. As much as the unicorns would like to believe it, we are not so different from the lower species.

“The Shadow spell, on the other hoof, is another beast entirely. Our magic, is derived from a deep, natural understanding of the entropic properties of magic. As there is order, there is also chaos. There is no coin with one side, after all. Our magic puts reason to chaos and creates a middle ground in which chaos and order act together to produce… a number of results from one matrix. For example…”

The levitation spell matrix faded away in golden fog, then recomposed itself into… some spiraling mess of circles and triangles. Again, words of power all over it, shapes that were barely recognizable as anything a classical spell could make sense of, but… all the same, I knew it well.

“The regeneration spell?” I asked.

He nodded. “Correct. This is our magic. The regeneration spell, as I’ve titled it, will regenerate flesh when power is applied to it and a target. However, that is not all it does. On its own, were I to apply the regeneration spell to a pony in good health, I could make his hooves grow. I could make his muscles expand. With enough power put into this spell… I could make a corpse, look healthy.”

I felt my ears twitch. “A corpse?”

“A dead body, a deceased creature, a previously living organism. With enough power and a lack of will in the target, the regeneration spell can even… make a corpse dance. Had they let me keep him on the ship, I could’ve shown you using the previous #36, but alas, there is nothing more malignant than a corpse. Even if we were to make him sanitary, I wouldn’t have the power to keep it that way for very long. A shame, really. I do always take joy in watching one of my puppets. But! That’s neither here nor there. Shadow, do you ever wonder why it was so difficult for you to learn basic levitation, but not something as complex as your spell?”

I frowned. “Well, the thought does come to mind.”

“And so it does. As we apply it to chaos, apply reason to the question and see if you can’t come up with something for me, hmm?”

Why does it feel easier to cast our magic? Just to experience it again, I decided to cast my levitation at the nearest untied object, a wooden crate by the starboard rail. I had to concentrate on my breathing, I had to concentrate on the object, I had to concentrate on the spell, and I had to make sure my power output was measured correctly as to not lose grip or crush the crate. I set it back down gently, and again, I found myself short of breath.

I’ve been using it for months now, I know it all well, I understand the feeling, but it just never seems… right, to me. It manifests, so clearly it works, but… why doesn’t it feel right? Then… there’s the shadow spell. Hide the box. Make it invisible. I called the circle, applied power to the pattern, and in an instant, the box was gone. It didn’t feel like I need to do anything more. It was almost like I could feel a thin string tugging on my horn like a hair being pulled, but it wasn’t much of a nuisance. Wait. There’s something there. It doesn’t feel like much of anything. I can just, turn the spell on, and ignore it. So long as there’s a trace amount of power going to it, I don’t even have to think about it.

“Is it because… they don’t require much power?”

The doctor smiled. “Not quite, but you’re on the right track. Let’s look at this in another light, shall we? Magic exists within all things. It’s something that flows through you, something you generate, something living things produce. When we invoke it, we take the power within us, and apply it to a concept to make it manifest in the real. With classical magic, to maintain something in the real, we must constantly apply our power to it.”

Why did he put emphasis on that word? It’s almost as if… our own power isn’t… “But… our power isn’t the only thing we can apply to it, is it?”

“Correct, Shadow. As I said, magic flows through all things. There is an inherent magic simply… floating around in the air. That is what we call entropy. The domain of chaos. Magic that can spontaneously come together without so much as being thought about, and cause something to happen. What, could be anypony’s guess. Our magic takes advantage of that entropy and bends it to our will. We apply our own magic to get the ball rolling of course, but the matrix seeks to gather the power it needs to act from wherever it can obtain it, specifically in the area near its target. You remember the Drain curse?”

Oh, far too well. “I do.”

“That particular curse is possibly the most basic version of our magic there is. All it does is simply collect the magic within an area specified by the matrix, and then return it to us. In healing, it, in effect, is a counter curse, or magic removal tool. It disassembles any magical structure, returns it to raw energy, and sends it back to the caster. Of course, even that aspect of it can be changed by adding parameters to the curse, but that is another concept.

“As with any simple spell, it can be very destructive too. Curses, much like our magic, are done using magic outside of ourselves, but in this case, the magic is applied and when triggered by an effect set by our parameters. Setting a curse is simple, but can only be done by one who understands the feel of our magic. Using magic extensively over time can earn you this feeling, but academics cannot teach it. Much like horns and wings or the lack there of, you can simply be born with or without it and go through life without knowing it was ever a possibility.

“You, Shadow, were born with a particularly exceptional set of traits that all come together in a wonderful mixture that makes you an excellent user of our magic. You have a natural feeling for it, your mind is unclouded by the teachings of classical magic to get in the way of your understanding, and your horn prefers to use magic in bursts rather than in a stream. You have very large, free flowing magic vessels. That of course, makes you an excellent mage regardless of how your horn is attuned, but that allows you to do things like the classical teleportation spell you like so much.

“Of course, now that you can read, you’re also picking things up on your own, like that sharpening spell…”

My teeth found my lip. “Uh… yes, I did… how did you-”

“Know you learned it? Shadow, my dear boy, I’ve already told you that emotion can influence our magic. You’re very good at putting your feelings into spells, and that can be felt by anypony, unicorn or otherwise. The potential in you is like a cup of overflowing water. It springs up seemingly without end, and if harnessed correctly, you could one day change the world. And when you do, I want to be there to see what a world you create…”

I nodded. “Of course… sir.”

“Now then… the others are beginning to wake. We will move on to classical practice. You should be wary of is using our magic around other ponies, Shadow. They may not notice it at first, but when they see our magic at play, they become afraid of it. Nothing creates terror in a pony quite like the unknown, and something they cannot understand, is to them, unknown.” The doctor returned to his barrel, and then pointed to the sea off the starboard rail. “Now, show me your beam spell.”

“Yes sir.”

January 31st, The Year of Our Goddess, 608.

I’m beginning to… wonder about things. What I feel toward Sunny, what I feel toward Moonlight, what I feel toward the doctor. With Sunny, I… it’s not just the lust, but there is… it’s more than just desire. I don’t quite understand it. I would ask the doctor about it, but I’m afraid he’ll do something to ‘lower her value’ again if I tell him. There’s little else that has ever made me as angry as seeing Sunny like that. Maybe… back when I saw father hit mother when I was a child, but… nothing since has ever made me so furious.

That fury… it scares me too. Rage unbridled, a fire burning in my heart threatening to consume me and everything around me. I can feel it when I cast spells, I can feel it when I prepare curses, and I always feel it when I see the viscount. It scares her too. I don’t want Sunny to be afraid of me.

With Moonlight, it’s something similar, but without the desire. I just… want to keep her safe, I think. I don’t understand the feeling. What it is, why it is. But it is intense, and just as consuming as the rage. Maybe more so. Should I be cautious about it? Being… overtaken by these feelings might be disastrous. The doctor says emotion needs to be kept in check. Used when necessary, but caged and chained tightly. Enslaved.

And then, there’s him. I never bothered asking his name. He’s always been ‘the doctor’ just as I became ‘Shadow’ as soon as he started teaching me. He doesn’t care about who I was before. With his scan, he can see what I am with a flick of his horn. He knows I’m impure, a half breed. Nothing about my past matters other than I was a fresh slate for him to carve out into his own image. But who is he?

The doctor is uniquely talented. I’ve asked around about him as of late, but I can’t seem to get a straight answer from anypony. Even the captain, the only pony on this ship that really seems to know who the doctor is, won’t talk about him. He’s a doctor, he can cure any physical injury, and he knows the practice of medicine. That’s all they’ll say.

I did get one clue, and it was when I asked about ‘regeneration’ in regards to his healing magic. One of the crew mates said that regeneration was a dark magic. A cursed, forbidden thing that no pony should practice. Why is that? Is that what our magic is? Dark magic, something evil? Why does the doctor know it? Why is it so easy for me?

The more I learn the more I have questions without answers. What about our magic is evil? If my talents lie there, if learning something ‘evil’ was the gateway to unlocking my ability to use magic at all, then how can it be evil? I don’t understand.

They say that we should see land in a few weeks. Tomorrow is the first day of February, and by the time we reach the new world, spring will come soon. I wonder… if I’ll finally get to see that blue sky? Or maybe, Mother and Blackwood were lying after all. Another white sky and gray land, just as cursed and corrupt as the one I escaped. Only time will tell. And when I find my answer… I’ll make my move.

February

“Sunny?” Black as night, likely only a few hours into the new day, and I couldn’t sleep. Moonlight snored less than quietly to my right, and Sunny rolled over to my left.

“Hmm…?” Drowsy but responsive, she sat up. “Is something wrong Shadow?”

Carefully, I took Moonlight in my magic, and lead Sunny off our bed. Once we were out, I put Moonlight back down and put the blanket back over her. “Let’s go to the deck.”

She blinked in the low light of my red aura, but shrugged and nodded anyways. Carefully and quietly, I moved through the berth deck as Sunny hovered beside me to make as little noise as possible, and we made our way to the main deck. Nopony so much as stirred, and we arrived without incident.

As it always was, the sky was gray and rolling, fast moving, endless cloud cover, threatening to rain or snow at a moment’s notice. The sea was a rough and choppy as it always was, but thankfully, there was no ice anywhere. We ran into an ice patch once and it was a nightmare. Every unicorn that knew a beam spell was sent to shoot holes in it so the earth ponies could then force it apart with picks. We nearly lost three slaves, and we did lose a crew member…

“Well, you brought me out here, away from our nice, warm bed and into the freezing cold in the dark. What’s up?”

“I’m sorry. I just… have to clear my head.” There was enough light out that we could see, but not enough that we could do it well. I could make out the shape of her body, some of her face, but little else.

“What do you mean? There is something wrong, isn’t there?” She brushed up beside me and put a wing over my back. Sunny was a little bigger than me, despite being a few years younger. “You can tell me Shadow. I won’t tell anypony.”

She always made me feel warm. She always smelled nice. She was always so soft and inviting, willing to cheer up anypony she came across. Slave, master, something in between, it didn’t matter to Sunny. They say her cutiemark is supposed to look like the sun. I’ve only ever seen it once. It’s been so long now that I’m not sure what it looks like anymore.

“Sunny… when we get off this ship, what do you want to do?” Of the many questions that have plagued my mind as of late, this is the one that gnawed at me the most. I have two gold coins from the old world. If my plan succeeds, I’ll have every coin on the ship we can carry. That should be enough for us to survive on for at least a year or two, but… what do we do after that? I don’t know how to grow food. Sunny can cook, and Moonlight is an earth pony with magic hooves, so she could probably grow plants, but could we afford fertile land, even with all the gold on the ship?

There was so much I never considered before. I was so… so ignorant. I didn’t know anything when I arrived here. Just that there was a chance at a better life beyond the sea. The New world was some fairytale dreamland where there was food abound, green everywhere, and the sun and warmth, and freedom. Now I know that isn’t true, or it might not be true. If anything is certain, the New World isn’t a place that’s completely free. Somepony could try to take them away from me. Would I be able to protect them if that happened? Do we need to go somewhere that nopony else is? I don’t know what to do.

“Hmm… You’re asking me for what I want?” Of all the things she could’ve said, I never thought that was one of them.

“Well, yes. What do you want?”

“Huh. Nopony’s ever asked me that before.”

I frowned. “Really?”

“Really. I was born a slave into a noble house, I was never asked what I wanted or thought about anything. My own mother didn’t even want me. I was raised to serve, and that’s all I knew.”

I bit my lip. I still haven’t told her anything about me. I know I can trust Sunny, but if I told her that I was just like her, would she think less of me?

“Buuuut…”

“But?”

“Since you came along, things have been a lot different than before. It… it hurt when the count… but… but even with that in mind, everything has been better since we were given to you. You don’t act like any of the other unicorns. You’re always nice, and you don’t look at us like… like we’re different, ya know? With you, life isn’t so bad. I think… what I want… is to stay with you. I don’t really care where we go or what we do, just that… just that we’re together.”

Something soft and wet and warm pressed itself against my cheek. I couldn’t see well, but I could feel her breath on me. My heart started pounding in my chest like a flame dances in the wind, the rapid thump of my pulse was deafening.

“W-what was that?”

Sunny giggled. “Just a… little thank you. For being the prince that came to my rescue, okay?”

I swallowed. “Uh… yeah… t-thanks, Sunny. I um… I feel a lot better now.”

She giggled again and rested her head on my neck. “If a pony like you was the king, I think things would be different. A world where…” she yawned, “everypony looked at everypony like they were anypony else… would be nicer, don’t ya think?”

“I do.” And that, is what I must do. “One day, I will be king. One day, I will build the world you dream of. The world we dream of. A free world and a green land. A true, new world.”

A yawn, and she wrapped herself around me a little more. “Mmhmm… Let’s go back to bed Shadow. It’s cold…”

“Yes, of course.” Rather than make her stand again, I pushed Sunny on my back and then headed back toward the stairs.

I will build the world she dreams of. No matter the cost.

February 27th, The Year of Our Goddess, 608.

Today, we spotted land. The sky is white, the land is gray, the sea is black. Everything is the same. Another rock to toil and slave away on, just like any other. They say that there is no king in the new world, that there are no ponies that rule over its ponies, but that is only for the time being. No power has sought to conquer it yet because it is still unexplored. Ponies move in search of a better life, making the perilous journey by sea here, but there is no guarantee that what is waiting for them is better than what they left. There are still slaves and masters, but at least here, there is less chance of being caught by raiders.

Ponies more or less tolerate each other because there is no system in place by which one may obtain another… for now. The summer is short, but green and fruitful, or so they say. Summer is something the old world sees once a decade. Summer is something the New world sees once a year. Regardless of what authority lords over this place, just for the taste of summer, the journey is worth it, they say.

We shall see.

All my curses are in place. I doubt even the doctor could find them all. I’m certain he doesn’t know at least his own is even there. He has taught me every spell of ours he knows, and I have learned just about everything in the book of classical magic he gave me. He’s no longer of any use to me. He’s a stallion of the system that promotes and uses it to his whims, which means the world doesn’t need him either. The crew, the doctor, the viscount. The world would be better without them.

The slaves… unfortunately, would be caught and executed if all their masters were found dead and them still alive. It’s better that I just take care of them too. If nothing else… they’ll finally be free of this life. I’m just sorry I can’t take them with me. Tonight will be the last night before the ship reaches port.

When the clock strikes twelve, my curses will be triggered, and that will be the end of it. All I have to do is wait, but there are a few things I want to take care of. The Viscount deserves much more torment than simply succumbing to the drain curse, no that is reserved just for the crew that aren’t the doctor. I have bigger plans for them. He hurt Sunny, and it was the doctor’s idea. There’s little doubt in my mind that that was the case, and I’ll drag it out of them, one sharpening spell at a time.

The doctor was right. Simple spells can be quite destructive, and even more agonizing when applied to a target. We’ll play a little game. And once we’re done, Sunny, Moonlight and I, will leave this wretched place. After obtaining a map from the captain, it looks like there’s little charted to the north of the settlements in the new world. We’ll build a home out there, and then I’ll start collecting ponies. Slaves, unicorns, foreigners, it doesn’t matter what they are, just that they serve my cause. We will build a world that is green and free. For Sunny. For Moonlight. For Mother. For everypony.

And I will be its king.

A New World

“And you remember what I told you right?” It was the nine at night. Most of the crew had retired to their deathbeds, and anypony asleep in the hold would remain that way forever. When next I step into the Viscount’s chamber, my Silence curse will trigger, and the door will be locked behind me. And when I visit the doctor… everything will come to a head.

“Yes, Shadow, for the hundredth time. Don’t leave the room until you come get us, I got it,” Sunny said with a roll of her eyes.

“Good.” Though I trust you, I’m not taking any chances. I hate to do this to you, but…

“Why are you on night watch anyway, Shadow?” Moonlight asked.

“I want to see daybreak on the new world for the first time. The new world will be our new home. I want to ingrain this sight in my memory forever.”

“Oh! That sounds like a good idea. Are you-” Sunny started to get back up out of bed, and I pushed her back down.

“Yes. I’ll take care of the Viscount before my watch, and I will wake you up before daybreak so you can see it too, okay?”

Pouting, Sunny sighed. “Alright, Shadow. But you better!”

“Yeah!” Moonlight echoed.

I nodded. “I will.” I brought the pattern for the Sleep spell in my head and pressed it against the edge of my horn. “Goodnight, Moonlight.” I kissed her forehead, and in an instant, her eyes fought to stay open.

“Goodnight… Shadow…” and off to her world of dreams she went. Next, I turned to Sunny. Those big, violet eyes, bored through me like a beam through ice. No matter how she looked at me, she could make me melt. If I was hers… I don’t think I would mind, being a slave again… Though it pained me, I prepared the spell again and went to do the same thing. In a surprise, she beat me to it and met my lips with hers. I released the spell on accident.

“I… love you… Shadow…” Her eyes fell, and so did she.

“You what!? Sunny!?” I grabbed and shook her, but the spell was already in place. At the earliest, she would wake up in the next six hours, and nothing, would disturb her slumber. I bit my lip so hard that I tasted blood. “Damn it!” I punched the wall as hard as I could, but even to my ears it was muffled. Silence was already in place in this room as an extra precaution I took. The only pony that’s ever said that word to me… was my mother, when she threw me in that carriage. I couldn’t find it in the Doctor’s dictionary. He laughed at me when I asked him about it. He said it wasn’t a real word. That it didn’t mean anything. Just a malfunction ponies have.

She knows the word, and what it means! The doctor is a bald-faced liar, and he will tell me before he dies! A familiar sting in my eyes, an ache in my heart, and rage burning inside, I blew out the candle and closed the door to my chamber. A physical lock, a magical lock, and a shadow encryption on both, the girls would be safe. Now, it was time to act.

The first thing I did was trigger the Sleep curse over the hold. They wouldn’t suffer like this. They’ll dream of a better life, and live in that dream forever. With any luck, the goddess will see fit to let them dream their dreams for eternity. If nothing else, the sleeping slaves will be slaves no more.

Casting the Shadow spell on myself as I’ve done many times now, I tread silently and unseen through all the decks on the ship. Silence and Lock on every room and every door in the berth deck, a Sleep curse with the instruction to reverse its effects just before the ship wide drain goes off for every unicorn, and finally, the many spells I’ve prepared for the viscount and the doctor.

The dangerous one was asleep now, the curse I put on his bed triggered as intended. His candle was still burning. If I had to guess, the trap went off before he even realized what was happening. Too bad he’s too powerful to keep his horn before I torture him. A precaution, but a necessary one.

With the bone saw I stole from the sick bay, I went to work on the sleeping doctor. The sound of steel grinding on bone was sickening, but I needed to do this. I might be more powerful than the doctor, but he’s more experienced than I am. A quick caster too. Had I not set all these curses over the last month and tried to do this all tonight, there’s little chance I could have. One at a time, slowly and carefully, taking every measure to make sure I went unnoticed. One… two… three!

CRACK

And just like that, the doctor becomes an earth pony. A giggle found its way out of my lips. What would be more poetic, than using the sharpening spell on this, and ending the doctor with it? He does so love his analogies of trickling liquids… I put the severed horn in my bag, and then left the doctor’s room. My time piece read nine thirty.

Just like every night, the Viscount would be just about to lay down in bed. Once I was near enough that I could carry it in without getting winded, I opened my bag and started to cast the copy spell on the little bundles of hair I’ve collected over the last three months. I took my gold coin in hoof and started changing hair to gold. After fifteen minutes of work, I counted two hundred forty coins, and even had a few more bundles of hair left over. perfect…

I knocked on the door. “Viscount? Are you still up?”

I didn’t hear anything, which meant silence was still in effect. Vibrations did however, come from the other side of the door. The fat stallion’s hooves crashing against the wood. The door opened, and an irritated old unicorn stood before me.

“What is it boy!? Do you realize what time it is? Why are you here?” His orange mustache was out of place, what little of his mane that remained on his head was uncharacteristically curled in odd ways, his pale violet coat was pushed in odd directions, and even his pajamas were wrinkled. I have to savor this sight. Ah, what a wonderful morning tomorrow is going to be…

“Well, I made a promise to you a few months ago, didn’t I?”

His brow furrowed. “Promise? What…” he looked at my bag, noticing the strange shape of it, and narrowed his eyes at me. “What have you got in that bag, boy?”

“I wish to purchase #23 and #24. You said that they would cost me two hundred forty gold. Even though you so rudely damaged #23, I still have enough here to pay full price.” I opened my bag just enough to show the good viscount the glint of the many fake gold coins in it, and again, another face to savor. His tired eyes snapped to alert, and his pupils dilated like a cat with catnip.

“Well, I, er… The doctor commanded that I… he wanted a fair… You, er…” he swallowed and found his words. “Why don’t you come in, yes?”

“I’d love to.” Because as soon as you close that door, your fate is sealed, viscount.

“I simply cannot believe it. I’ve counted and checked every coin four times, and I still cannot believe it. Where in the world did you happen upon two hundred forty-seven gold pieces? And at such a young age… what age, exactly?”

Sitting on the viscount’s bed, I used the curses I’d already placed there to enhance the bone saw in my bag. He was far too interested in his fake gold to see it though. “Oh, my birthday is tomorrow. I’ll be seventeen.”

“Seventeen! My, when I was so young, I couldn’t even dream of this much gold! And my father was a baron! How did you acquire so much? I know the captain told me you paid the fare, but to think you had all this the whole time…”

All the curses applied, this sweet blade will cut through the viscount like butter. Ah, how sweet the screams will be. How wonderful the sound when agony turns to panic. How delicious the fear will be. “Well, my father is a very important stallion, viscount. Surely you know him. His name is Dark Canter.”

Again, the viscounts eyes nearly bulged out of his skull. “You… you’re the son of Lord Canter!?” He got up out of his chair and came closer to inspect my eyes. “By the goddess! You are Lord Canter’s! There isn’t a noble in the old world with eyes that green but he! And that stark black mane… you really are his progeny aren’t you?”

I nodded. “Oh, yes… Initially, he sent me with that bag so I could secure Spiral Horn Mountain for him. I’m sure somepony as important as your self knows about his plans to build a city there? From the talk of the crew, I hear it juts straight out of the land that can be seen from everywhere.”

The viscount swallowed. “O-of course! I… I had overheard that Lord Canter had already made a claim on it, but to think that he sent his own son to hold it… Is this um… your payment to me won’t interfere with the lord’s plans, will it?”

I couldn’t help but smile. Though only half of what I said was true, the fact that this piece of refuse thinks so highly of my father just adds to the satisfaction of killing him. “Oh, not exactly. I’m certain I could make some decent coin myself, but he did want me to buy some laborers with this so I could get started on the settlement he wants to build there. He said he would call it, ‘Lot,’ a place he could rent land to the lower species. It wouldn’t make much money on its face of course, but a small community trading and paying taxes there? Over time, that would turn into quite the investment, don’t you think, viscount?”

The viscount brought a hoof to his several chins. “By the goddess… Canter is a mad genius!”

My eye twitched. This slimy dastard and that one would be peas in a pod, wouldn’t they? I’m sure the viscount is just thinking of all the piles of gold he could amass by latching onto my fathers nethers and singing his praises…

“You know, er… what was your name again?”

“Sombra.”

“Ah, right. Canter’s little shadow, yes, I remember you now. #23 and #24 really aren’t all that necessary to build my own castle. Even without them, numbers 17 through 40 would be more than enough labor to accomplish what I need. If you were… willing to put in a good word with your father for me, I believe I could find it in my heart to part with the both of them for the small fee of eighty gold. I would hate to impede on the good lord’s dealings in the new world after all. How does that sound?”

I felt my teeth grind together. Making the very same argument I did when I first asked for them! Only now that he knows who I am does he try to ‘sweeten the deal’ to get me to curry favor with that old worthless slave master! ‘Ah, I remember you now. Canter’s little shadow.’ A number of spells came to the forefront of my mind, and had I less self-restraint, I would have acted on them. A few months ago, I certainly would have. But I’m different now. Smarter than I was. This is for them, more than anything. Calm down. He needs to sign their titles over to me before we can kill him. Otherwise, this will all have been for naught.

I took a deep breath and nodded. “Of course. I’m certain my father would be happy to meet somepony like you.”

The viscount clapped his hooves together. “Splendid, positively splendid. Allow me to just find their titles, and then I’ll take my fee…” his horn lit, and then a small chest underneath his bed floated to him. He pushed the fake gold away, unlocked the rather plain box, and started digging through parchments. “40, 39, 38, 37, 36, ah, no need to keep this one anymore.” He produced a small flame in his magic and went to light the parchment at the corner.

“Wait!” I shouted.

Startled, he turned. “What, what!? Is something the matter?”

Damn it! What are you doing!? “I um… that page is worthless to you, correct?”

“Well, yes, that is why-”

“Can I have it?”

The count was confused. “I… suppose you can. Not that I have any use for it. But um… why exactly…?”

“I treated him… up until he died, that is. I… don’t want to forget him.”

He eyed me for a moment, but in the end, he simply shrugged and set it aside. “Very well then. A favor for a lord’s son never hurt anypony.” He went back to flipping through pages until he’d gathered all three. “Here you are my boy. #23, #24, and a memento of #36.”

I took all three pages in hoof and inspected them carefully. Though he was clearly dazzled by the fake gold, there was still a chance the viscount was just as slimy as he looked, so I made sure the pages were real. Using the reverse Shadow spell proved they were all authentic, and I let out a sigh of relief. “Thank you.”

“Think nothing of it my dear boy. A pleasure doing business with you.” He stuck out his hoof to shake mine, a bright smile on his face. And equally bright smile on my face, I took hold of his hoof with mine. My horn lit, the saw in my magic, I swiped it through his foreleg with the ease of hot water melting snow.

The count didn’t make a sound. He merely looked at the severed foreleg dangling from my outstretched hoof. My smile only grew wider.

“Ahhh!”

And then, it came. Oh, how beautiful. How wonderful. How delicious, the sound. Spilling like a pierced wine skin, the crimson drained from the count’s new wound as he rolled around on the floor.

“Careful. You might stain my ownership forms. We can’t have that!” Raising my hind leg as far as I could, I slammed it into the count’s stomach, knocking the air out of him. Before he felt like he could fight back, I stepped on his face and went to work on his horn. Thanks to all the spells I’d added to the saw, it came off with much less effort than the doctor’s. I threw a numbing spell on the count’s hurt leg, then picked up his horn and made him look at it. Pain, terror, agony, confusion, but most importantly, despair overtook his face.

“How does it feel, Viscount? You’re an earth pony now!” He went to scream, but my raised hoof quickly found his teeth. “No, no, none of that. Not that it would do you any good to begin with.” Like a worm, the count slithered away from me as fast as he could and reached for the door with his remaining forehoof. He pulled and pulled and pulled at the handle, but it just wouldn’t turn.

“How cute. You think you can run away.” Using magic to hold it was starting to give me a headache, so I reared to my hind legs and put the saw in my right forehoof.

“W-why are you doing this!? I-I thought-” His voice irritated me, so I launched and kicked him in the jaw again with my rear hoof.

“You thought what!? You thought I would forget what you did to Sunny!? You thought I would forget how you looked down on me when I asked to buy her!? How I made a fool of you by rising to your jape!?” I grabbed a pile of coins and threw them at his face.

“You sold your ‘precious slaves’ for the mane of a dead pony! For the very hair of the stallion whose title you were going to burn like a piece of trash!” The coins bounced off him and as they fell, the spell I cast on them faded away. Little bundles of dusky gold and bright gold landed in neat piles all around the count.

And there it was. The moment I’d been looking so forward to ever since the day he hurt Sunny. The face of a stallion who regrets every single decision he’d ever made. The face of a stallion who had no bowels left to evacuate. The face of a stallion who knew he was staring death in the face. “The new world doesn’t need stallions like you or my father. I’ll let him know you’re already there when he comes to visit you in hell!”

“Good morning, Doctor.”

The white stallion blinked a few times. “Hmm? Shadow? Is that you?”

“No. My name is Sombra.”

He looked down at me, then took in his surroundings. His legs are all spread and chained down to a table in the sick bay, he stared at the light I’d placed above him, and then finally, his eyes fell on the white bone in my hoof. Then, he met my eyes.

“I see you’ve been busy. Is the Viscount dead already?”

My smile fell. That was… not the reaction I was hoping for. Or, really, even one I was expecting. “You wake up like this and that’s your first question?”

The doctor shrugged. “I wasn’t certain you would act on it, but I always knew you had it in you to murder everypony on the ship. You’re just like me, after all.”

My heart was racing nearly as fast as my mind. He expected this? But… but… he didn’t do anything about it! He… he just let me cut his horn off? Why…? “How did you know?”

“How did I know what, Shadow? That you wanted to kill me? That you have a deep seeded hatred for unicorns? How there’s little else you hate in this world more than Lord Canter? How you were going to kill the viscount the first chance you got? You’ll have to be more specific. I know many things, Shadow.”

“That is not my name!” I jammed his horn into the pit of his foreleg and his body twisted in pain.

“Ooh, didn’t even numb me! Did it feel good when you tortured the viscount to death, Shadow!?”

I pulled his horn out and stabbed him in the chest again. “It did! Answer my question!”

He coughed, but… something strange happened. There was no blood. Not from his mouth, or either hole in his body. What in the world…? “Hah! You are nothing but my grand experiment Shadow, and with this I would say you’re a rousing success! Do it! Stab me again, hit me even closer! Inflict as much pain as you possibly can without killing me! You know just where to pierce me to accomplish it, I know I’ve taught you well!”

I took several deep breaths and held still. He’s gaming me, even now. Why? He knew I was coming for him, but… what’s going on? He isn’t even bleeding. I don’t understand... I removed his horn, then cast the scanning spell on the doctor, and again, even without his horn, the body didn’t show signs of anything. Not even life.

“Curious are we? You were always more interested in learning than your vengeance!” Wild eyed, smiling like today was the best day of his life, the doctor stared at me like the Viscount stared at all that fake gold.

“What are you?”

He twisted his head until he was looking at me from a right angle. “What… am I? Me? I am just a sign to point you in the right direction. I am merely a step in your development. A stone for you to walk across. Another inch on the path of your journey. You, my dear Shadow, will become the most powerful dark magic user there ever was. I have never seen a pony with such capacity for hatred in their hearts as you! You are a work of art! A gift from Entropy itself!

“You can wield chaos as if it were second nature! Casting curses, bending entropy to your will, even passionate enough for love and murder with the same breath! You are my masterpiece! You will create such chaos unlike the world has ever seen! Your future is black! The very ones you love the most will turn on you and strike you down! But not before you destroy both the new and old worlds, no, you will do exactly what you set out to do! Aha ha ha ha ha!”

The doctor laughed and laughed and laughed. At some point, I think I realized that whatever this creature was, it was nothing more than a shell now. A puppet. The doctor did say that he can make a corpse dance. My only wonder now is whose puppet he was.

I decided to keep the horn. If nothing else, it could be an ingredient for a spell or a curse. But what it would serve me as for now, was a reminder. There’s a pony out there that was using the puppet he called ‘the doctor’ to get to me. And though the doctor is no more, he is still out there.

There’s little doubt in my mind that he will find me again some day.

Once midnight had passed over the ship, I collected the bodies and tossed them off in the waters. When I returned to the room I’d left the doctor in, the body had rotted away into dust. Truly, he was nothing more than a puppet. Once that was done, I set a spell to make a sound after a few hours and took a nap. I’d worked hard tonight. Sunny and Moonlight and all the other slaves were free now. All the other slaves… except for me.

I agreed to give him my all. And he agreed to give me his. In a way, I think then, I became a slave once more. Forever, I would be cursed to think of the doctor. To think like the doctor. To become the doctor, or really, the pony behind the puppet. Truly, it scared me to my very core. He knew it all. He planned it all. He watched and waited and he bet on it happening. I can only pray that the future isn’t as set and stone as he seemed to think it was.

When morning came, I retrieved Sunny and Moonlight from their slumber and brought them on deck. For just a moment, there was a glimmer in the eastern sky. A bright orange ball in the break in the clouds. One that looked just like Sunny’s cutiemark.

Even if I’m destined to become what the doctor said, then I can’t let that bother me. Whether or not he was manipulating me to put me on this path, I’d already decided in the beginning that this is what I wanted to do. This system of slavery and ownership must end. The long winters must be brought to a halt, and summer must return. This corrupt world must be burnt to ash and rebuilt. A free world. A green land. An end to the sunless winter.

I am Sombra, and I will create a new world.