Celestia and Luna's New Retirement Manager

by Art Inspired

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Princess Luna, Trixie, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other, Adventure
Length: 2072

Celestia and Luna realize that they are terrible vacation planners. How do they expect their retirement to be any better? Trixie has all of the solutions.

Celestia and Luna are about to embark on their grand adventure into retirement when they realize that they are already absolutely terrible vacation planners. Just how in Equestria did they expect their retirement to be any better?

Luckily for the two Princesses, Trixie has all of the solutions. Good and bad.

Published 2020-06-23 13:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-06-23 13:40:01 UTC

Chapter One: Great and Towelful

Celestia and Luna walked through the streets of Canterlot mostly keeping to themselves. They trotted hastily, and although they were nervous, they both tried not to let it show. With the streets fairly calm, the two princesses found it much more easier than expected for them to hurry on by everypony. The second they rounded a corner, and entered an alleyway, Celestia huffed with exasperation. She turned to Luna slowly, the two of them all alone, but Luna held her ground.

"I can't believe you!" Celestia checked behind her, and then looked back at Luna sternly to say, "You've done nothing in preparation for our retirement?"

Luna rolled her eyes, and said just as sternly, "I've already told you! I don't recall you ever telling me that getting ready for our retirement was solely my responsibility."

Celestia then said, "I took care of Twilight, and got her ready to take the throne. That alone was a humongous task! You were to see to our retirement! You really don't remember any of this?"

Luna scoffed, "You must've told me of this when I first was brought back from the moon!"

Celestia raised her voice, nearly reaching royal Canterlot tones, "That's exactly what I did! It's been our secret ever since!"

There was a moment of silence for the two fuming sisters, and then, Luna's eyes widened just a tiny bit. "Oh..." She glanced away, and commented with embarrassment, "I remember that now."

"I meant to give you plenty of time to prepare," Celestia stressed. "Now what are we supposed to do? We just walked out of the Canterlot palace with hardly anything but our fancy hoof shoes and our tiaras."

Luna looked at Celestia's tiara, and commented, "Weren't... we supposed to give those up? We're not rulers anymore, right?"

Celestia started walking off, and said, "You can give yours up if you want to, but I'm keeping mine thank you very much."

They reached the end of the alley, and looking around, Celestia didn't see many ponies around, so she and Luna timidly walked down the sidewalk. Some birds chirped overhead, and Luna asked her sister, "What should we do, then?"

Celestia shook her head, and said, "I... don't even know, honestly. I knew I should've checked in on you and the whole retirement planning, but I was too focused on Twilight to ever find the time."

Luna commented, "There was also always some other event getting in the way."

Celestia slowed her trot as she looked all around, but continued to say, "I meant to ask you if you needed my help with our retirement when we were taking that vacation, but it kept slipping my mind."

Luna got ahead of Celestia, and kept walking while saying, "Nothing we can do about it now... Sister?"

Luna turned around to see Celestia just standing by one of the town's trees, and looking all around. She gazed down the empty streets, and listened to the peaceful, quiet atmosphere. She then smiled at Luna, and asked, "What should we do?"

Luna looked down, and said, "Uh, well... First of all, I think we should figure out where we're headed, and perhaps get a few bits from the bank, too. Then, we can-"

Celestia interrupted, saying, "Actually, I was thinking we'd go to the bank first, and then hit up the spa." She trotted along, headed for the bank. "We can figure out what to do while we relax."

Luna shrugged while smiling. "Since our retirement has officially begun, that does sound better."

After getting a few bits from the bank, Celestia lead the way across the street to where the spa was. They entered, and inside was nice and welcoming. They trotted by the empty seats, and spoke to whoever was at the front counter. "Hello? How busy are you today?" Celestia asked kindly.

The mare behind the counter replied, "Other than just one other pony here today, we're actually not that busy. Would you like the usual, Princess?" She blushed, and then asked, "Err, do I even still call you that?"

Celestia giggled mostly to herself, and replied, "You may continue to call me Princess Celestia seeing as how I'm still an alicorn, and yes, plus one. I brought my sister along."

"Ah," the mare voiced at Luna. "Lovely, come this way you two!"

She showed them through to the next room, and as they got set up for their relaxing time at the spa, Princess Celestia took the time to check around the room in order see who else might've been in the spa, but it seemed completely vacant save for the regular employees working there.

Just as they got settled down for a massage, and cucumbers were put on Celestia and Luna's eyes, Celestia heard a voice close by. "Mmmh..." Celestia listened closely while the other customer said, "This... is so much better than that lackluster Ponyville spa!"

Celestia looked on over finally while removing the cucumbers from her eyes. An odd, blue pony rested by them, and she had cucumbers over her eyes as well. Aloe and Lotus came walking up suddenly, and simply listened tentatively. "Ohhh," one of the twins quietly grumbled while being held back by the other.

"What Trixie means to say is that the other spa didn't give Trixie enough attention. They were too busy tending to all the other ponies! I mean, in that case, they should just hire more employees, and then open up another spa someplace. Right?"

That's when the other twin finally voiced, "Actually, that's exactly what we did."

Trixie frowned, and slowly began removing a cucumber. "Oh... Hi, Aloe and Lotus. So... this is your new spa that Trixie has heard so much about! You two know that Trixie was just kidding, right?"

Aloe sighed with disappointment, and both of them walked off. Lotus then glumly said back to Trixie, "Put that back on your face."

The show mare instead proceeded to eat the cucumber, and then noticed Celestia and Luna. She simply stared at the two for a few seconds with her one uncovered eye, and then asked, "Aren't you two going on retirement soon?"

Celestia motioned her head towards where she was hearing Trixie's voice, and said, "It... just began, actually."

Trixie smiled happily, and said, "So, lemme get this straight. Your first thing to do on your many, many lists of things to finally do now that you're both retired is to visit... some spa that you've probably been to a whole bunch of times before already?" Celestia slummed with an annoyed expression while Luna made a gruff, audible sound. "Well, isn't that just grand for you two! Trixie bets you'll be headed off to Manehattan, right? No! Even better than that! You're going to go to Las Pegasus, aren't you?"

Celestia didn't know what to say, but Luna appeared to have a pretty good idea. "We're going somewhere far away. It's somewhere far more prestigious than that, too," she boasted.

Trixie blinked, and asked, "Where?"

Luna chuckled, and bluffed, "It's someplace that no mere earth pony, pegasus or unicorn could ever go to."

Even though Luna still had cucumbers on her eyes, Trixie still gestured to her with a hoof, and said, "Oh, c'mon! You can tell Trixie."

Luna then said, "No, I can't, actually."

That's when Celestia laughed, "That's because she's making it up!"

Luna's face became as red as a tomato, and shortly following that remark, she used her magic to toss her cucumbers at Celestia. As they slapped her on the forehoof and flank, she laughed some more, and Luna asked, "What's wrong with you? We don't know who this pony is! She could be a news reporter! Did you hear how she was mysteriously addressing herself?"

Celestia rolled her eyes. "Luna... This is the Great and... uhh..."

She looked at Trixie who tried to help her out by quietly lipping, "Pow..."

Celestia continued, "The Great and Proper-"

"Powerful!"

"The Great and Powerful..." Celestia gave the unicorn a look of annoyance. "Trixie... She's a traveling showmare who's been doing a few shows here in Canterlot, and I just so happened to have already seen her performance." She gave Trixie a smile, saying, "It's quite the show."

Trixie commented, "Trixie had another profession as a school counselor for the School of Friendship, but even though she was doing a simply fabulous job there, she longed for her original profession."

Luna grumbled, "You still might've been a reporter... or interviewer." She looked at Celestia, and said, "You should be more careful towards who you speak with, sister." She took a second to then think about her next words wisely. "We don't need ponies knowing about our personal issues."

Trixie smiled, and asked, "Say... Princesses? Could it be that you don't really know what to do about your retirement?"

Both Celestia and Luna gasped at Trixie remark. "H-how did you... guess?" Luna asked.

Trixie said smoothly with a shrug, "Trixie might've heard the two of you talking when you thought that the two of you were alone in the streets."

Luna's eyes widened, and she became even more animated. "You...!"

Trixie then said calmly, "She didn't, though, but both of your faces tells Trixie that she's right about your situation anyways!"

Trixie laughed while Luna and Celestia appeared foolish, and Luna then got up while offering to Celestia, "Why don't we leave?"

"Luna...?" Celestia looked up at her sister kindly, and said, "Have a seat... Trixie's just being herself, and I can admire that."

Luna complained, "She's being disrespectful!"

At that, Trixie stopped smiling, and said, "Oh, b-but Trixie didn't mean-"

Celestia merely raised a hoof, and Trixie managed to stop herself from talking any further. Luna then sat down while still frowning at Trixie. Celestia voiced to the two of them, "Trixie just wanted to prove to us her level of intellect. She's done so. Also, Luna, need I remind you that we currently actually have no such plan for our retirement?"

Luna hastily started fidgeting at her loving sister, wanting desperately for Celestia to stop flapping her lips. "Shh! Would you just... be quiet for once!"

"I mean, who knows! Perhaps Trixie has a few ideas for us. We could certainly use the help considering what happened during our recent vacation.

Luna finally admitted defeat, and groaned passionately, "Oh! Just... Why don't you go ahead and tell her all of our most deepest and darkest secrets while your at it!"

Trixie blinked at Celestia, and asked, "What happened?"

Luna said, "Don't."

"We couldn't decide on which activity we should go on. That's all."

Throwing her hooves up into the air with aggravation, Luna said, "And she tells her anyways!"

Trixie smirked at Luna who was then folding her hooves, and then she looked at Celestia, and asked, "So, you two need something around the lines of a... retirement manager, and at least one of you thinks that Trixie would be a good fit for the job. Is Trixie on the right track so far?"

Luna scowled at Trixie while Celestia simply nodded. "I don't see why we shouldn't at least give it a try," Celestia said, soon looking on over towards Luna. "This might be fun, right?"

Luna rolled her eyes, and said to Trixie, challenging her, "Alright, Trixie... Let's see if you really can flip the tables on our retirement. I doubt it, though."

Trixie happily laughed at the two mares, and then declared, "In that case, Trixie assumes that her new role as your retirement manager begins right now! Would you two like to hit the sauna?"

Luna and Celestia's eyebrows perked simultaneously. Despite being inside of such a prestigious spa, they hadn't really considered going in the sauna room due to it nearly always being packed with strangers that they didn't know, but since Trixie had suggested it, Celestia and Luna suddenly both realized how amazingly relaxing that would be. Everypony else was busy attending one of Twilight's very first events, so it was just the three of them there that day.

Luna somehow was the first to say something. "That... actually doesn't sound bad... so long as my sister agrees."

Celestia nodded, smiling, and said, "Sounds perfect to me."

After shortly clapping her hooves, Trixie asked, "Well then? What're we waiting for?" She then instructed the two of them, "Don't forget to bring a towel!"