You'll Never Find A Nutter.
Sandbar tapped a hoof on the wood of the table impatiently. "Just because you can breathe fire doesn't mean you're better.” He retorted, looking over to Smolder as he snorted playfully.
The dragon in question had an annoyed expression, tapping her fingers impatiently on the table. “Yes it does,” she replied. “That’s like saying, ‘Just because you use friendship to solve every problem doesn’t mean you look like an idiot.’ It just doesn’t work that way.”
“That’s racist.” He deadpanned. “Either way, we don’t use friendship to solve everything!”
“Explain why we’re in the School of Friendship, saving Equestria with friendship?” She offered a smug grin. “Justify your way out of that one.”
“I...” Sandbar paused. “Implying we’re idiots?” At this point, that was about the only thing he could say.
“Yes.” She chuckled. “Yes I am.”
“Be nice, you two.” A familiar changeling peered her head up from the book she was reading. Smolder twiddled her claws innocently.
“Depends who you’re talkin’ to.” She jabbed. Sandbar was now wearing a look of frustration.
Smolder leaned back in her chair and rested her feet on the table.
“You.” Smolder’s needling Sandbar was the very last thing he needed right now; he was really close to jumping up onto the table and teaching her the magic of friendship. Verbally. “Ocellus,” He whined. “Smolder called me an idiot!”
The changeling who was addressed looked up from her book, and right at Smolder, Who was shifting uncomfortably in her chair. “Smolder,” she started. “Apologize.” Smolder rolled her eyes.
“Fine. Sandbar, I’m sorry.” she mumbled.
“Can’t hear you!” He prodded teasingly.
“Fuck you!” She shouted, lunging at him a bit.
“Language!” Ocellus hissed, prompting the scaly sinner to sink back down in her seat. Smolder gave Sandbar a death glare, pointing at him before sliding her finger across her neck. He gulped in reply. “No threats either.” She glared.
Smolder jumped. “B-But I-“
“Unless you wanna sleep outside the dorm tonight,” she threatened while still glaring at her. "Remember, you lost your keys and I'm the only one with keys to the dorm."
Smolder growled, Sandbar chuckled. “Wow, Ocellus, how’d you train her?” He burst into laughter. Ocellus blanched a little, Smolder doing the same.
“Now listen here, you little-“ The now damned dragon had just about enough of Sandbar’s antics.
“Wh-What? I-I don’t train her, I-I mean, she’s not my pet, but-“ Ocellus lost track and gave up shortly. She started to slink down in her seat. Smolder patted her shoulder sympathetically.
“So what? I bet you and Yona didn’t even make it to first base.” She jeered, narrowing her eyes at Sanbar.
“I— S-Shut it!” He shouted across the table, slamming his hooves upon it.
“Make me.” She leaned forward with her arms folded. The two scowled at each other until the bug finally interjected.
“How about,” She started. “Smolder, you apologize to Sandbar.” The dragon began to object, but saw she had no other choice, lest she wanted to only have the outdoors for company at night for a week.
“Okay, Sandbar, I apologize for calling you an idiot.”
“Okay, and Sandbar?” Ocellus looked to Sandbar expectantly. He sighed.
“Okay, Smolder, I’m sorry for calling you Ocellus’ pet.” Sandbar groaned. Ocellus breathed in as if she were about to say something. “But,” He interrupted. “I’ve got a bet to propose.”
Smolder nodded. “Lay it on me.”
“I’ll bet you three gemstones I’ll be able to steal the shell of Knuckerbocker.” Smolder stifled a laugh at this. “What?” Smolder only shook her head in reply, gesturing to Ocellus, who had her jaw hanging open. She managed to breathe in and close it for her.
“Look, where are you even going with this? It’s not like the book bug over here wouldn’t try and stop you.” Smolder now had her arms folded. The aforementioned book bug began to grab her by the arms and shake her violently.
“And, have you not taken into account how dangerous that would be?!!!” Ocellus shouted in her face, ignoring the constant startled and annoyed noises she made while being shaken. After a while, she stopped shaking her dragon friend and came back to her senses. "Oh, s-sorry." She let go of her arms.
"My point exactly," Smolder explained as she waved a claw in Ocellus' direction. "And even if you did manage to get it, what'd that have to do with me?" She continued.
The turtle colt could do nothing but chuckle devilishly. "Oh, you'll see."
“Oh, and by the way,” she added. “Make it five.”
Smolder walked along with Ocellus to their dorm with her mind on what Sandbar had said earlier. "You're not still thinking about that bet, are you?" she asked.
"Of course I am." Smolder replied, still bemused at the thought of Sandbar trying to steal something. "I can't seem to come up with what he'd use it for."
"Have you seriously not payed attention in class? It's for—“Before she could finish, Smolder put a claw to her mouth.
"Hush," Smolder whispered. "You hear that?"
"No-mph." She now brushed the claw off her mouth and looked at Smolder confusedly. "What are you even talking about?"
"Never mind, it's gone." She continued to walk with her. "You weren't actually gonna lock me out of the dorm, we're you?"
"Of course not." Ocellus replied. "Just needed you to quit picking at Sandbar."
"Awe." The dragon crossed her arms. "You two are no fun."
"Mm, I know you don't mean that." She hummed, licking her lips.
"Shut up."
“By the way,” Ocellus singsonged in a teasing voice while changing the subject. “What does ‘first base’ mean?”
“Uh... it means—“
“And what does that have to do with me and y—“
“Okay!” Smolder exhaled, her cheeks flushing red. “Can we just get back to our dorm so we can study?!”
“Alright, I’ll let this slide... for now.” Ocellus giggled, able to taste how flustered Smolder was at the moment. She unlocked the door, allowing the two to enter the room. “Okay, the first lesson we should study should probably be... Chapter Eight, lesson ten...?” She took a seat at the desk and turned the lamp on.
“Since when was that one in there? Did they just add that?” Smolder sat down beside her friend at the desk.
“It’s really confusing,” She replied, turning a few pages. “Apparently, Big Mac was eavesdropping on... Okay, maybe we should work around that one for now.” She flipped a few more pages. “Here’s one we can work on. Chapter seven, lesson seven.” Ocellus looked at Smolder. “Okay, summarize to me what you’ve got so far, and we’ll work from there.”
“So, apparently, Big Mac was in love with Sugar Belle, but this other dude liked her, so they fought.”
“I meant the message.”
“Oh. Fight for love?”
“N-Not exactly.” Ocellus shifted in her seat. “Try again.”
“If you’re in love with somecreature, you should bring them gifts every week and build them stuff.”
“No,” Ocellus giggled. “Okay, let’s go over this, basically, Big Macintosh really liked Sugar Belle, but didn’t know if she felt the same way. When she found out, they started dating.”
“So.. don’t hide your feelings?”
“Exactly!” Chirped Ocellus. “Which is want I wanted you to say.”
“W-What does that have to do with me? Dragons don’t do lo-“ she stopped herself.
“I didn’t say it was love.” She giggled once more. “I didn’t even say anything like that at all.”
“I-It’s not—“ Just as Smolder began to try and explain herself, she heard something. “Seriously, do you not hear that?”
“No?” She replied, not really sure what to say here. “Should I be hearing something?”
“I mean, unless you’re deaf.“
“Hey!” She hissed. “That’s mean—“
“Shhhhh!” Smolder pressed a claw to Ocellus’ lips for the second time today. “Okay, I’ve gotta see where that’s coming from.” Smolder got up, opening the door and flying out of the dormitory.
“Wait!” Ocellus followed quickly behind. “Are you even a hundred-percent sure the noise you’re hearing is real?” Smolder was unresponsive, she just kept on flying.
“Dragon, oh, Dragon!” A familiar pony voice called around the corner; that same noise emitting from that same direction.
“What the hell are you doing?!” Smolder growled, finally finding the culprit behind that anointing sound that had been bothering her. It was Sandbar, holding the damned Shell of KnuckerBocker.
“Sorry,” He grinned smugly. “Just calling you to remind you; you owe me three gems.” He sat down. “Oh, wait, I forgot. Make it five.” Smolder growled as Sandbar’s grin was unaltered.
“Literally how—“ Smolder covered her ear scales as Sandbar blew into the shell again. “Argh, stop it!”
“You’re hurting her, Sandbar.” Ocellus hovered next to Smolder to comfort her.
“Oh, sorry.” His grin turned into a genuinely sheepish smile. “I didn’t think it was actually harmful.”
“Depends how hard you blow it, dumbass.” Smolder deadpanned.
“Hey! Smolder, that’s not very nice.” Ocellus scolded.
“It wasn’t very nice how he blew the fuckin’ shell and almost deafened me.”
“Well— That wasn’t very nice either, but...” She trailed off.
“Point is... if the motherfucker wants gems, then...” She reluctantly pulled out five gems, tossing them at Sandbar.
“Well, this ’motherfucker’ has the shell of Knuckerbocker!” He jabbed as he stuck his tongue out at her. Smolder hovered down to place her feet on the ground, and so did Ocellus.
“You’re a fuckin’ nut.” She crossed her arms as she narrowed her eyes.
“I’m a savage. A- A savage nut. And I’ve got the NutterButter right here.” He held up the shell. Smolder rolled her eyes. “You’ll never find a ‘nutter’.” He chuckled.
“Okay, you two.” Ocellus chimed in. “Sandbar, I'm glad you’ve found the Shell, but, um... shouldn’t you return it or something?”
“Oh, I dunno. After all, what’s the use of trying to reign it in once I’ve got the full rope?”
“Extended.” Smolder deadpanned. “It should be extended, dipshit.”
“Aren’t we all friends here...?” Ocellus interjected, breaking most of the silence the best she could.
“Yeah, but, we tend to compete from time to time.” Sandbar corrected.
“Exactly. As much as I hate him right now, he’s still one of my best buds, next to Gallus.” Smolder walked over to Sandbar, Offering him a hoof/fist bump which he quickly accepted. “And... you...” she added sheepishly while looking over to Ocellus.
“Speaking of which,” Continued Sandbar. “You two would be pretty cute together.” He chirped as the two he was addressing were both covered in red.
“No! I-I mean not that I don’t- but I don’t- but it’s not like I- Ugh!!” Smolder just plopped onto the floor, her face buried in her hands. Ocellus was speechless.
“Oh, I thought maybe you two would realize it, and...” he trailed off. “I’ll just leave you two alone.” He backed away slowly.
“So, did you maybe wanna talk—“ she stepped a bit closer to the currently tomato-colored dragon.
“Fuck off,” Smolder interrupted, causing Ocellus to wince. She corrected herself. “Sorry, Sorry. I was thinking I was talking to Sandbar for a second.”
“It’s-“ Ocellus sighed. “It’s alright. I get it. Do you maybe wanna go back to the dorm and talk about it?” She offered a hoof to Smolder, which was promptly accepted. They made their way back to the dorm and closed the door behind them. “So, me and you, huh?” She added sheepishly, turning away and rubbing a hoof on her foreleg.
“I don’t know how to feel about that.” Smolder shrugged, tilting her head just to that she didn’t have to look Ocellus in the eye. The changeling only stepped closer. “I-I mean... it’s not like I don’t like you, but, it’s just hard for me to put it into words.” She explained.
“Y-You don’t have to.” She grabbed her dragon’s face, turning it toward her and going in for the kill. The two’s lips had met. Smolder’s eyes shot open and staying wide, and Ocellus’ eyes were closed tightly. When she finally pulled away, she struggled for breath. “How do you feel now?”
“I-I—“ Before she could finish her thoughts, she heard a familiar high-frequency ringing in her ear. “Torch damn it, Sandbar!!!” She shouted, rushing out of the dorm. Ocellus followed close behind just to keep an eye on her. “Sandbar!!!!!”
“Yes...?” He singsonged back, still sitting in the same spot they had separated. Before Smolder could get to him and potentially rip him apart, Ocellus held her back the best she could.
“I swear I’m gonna fuckin tear your ass into pieces and stuff you in that shell!”
“I’d love to see you try.” He jabbed, prompting Smolder to tackle him. They both playfully scrapped as she continued to threaten him.
“You guys!” Ocellus shouted, chasing after them, and mostly, Smolder.
Author's Note
That might have been a little shorter than anticipated, but, I tried my best to make this a little bit of a “crunch time” type thing where I’d hurry up and get to the sequels and big stuff I’ve got planned. Hope you enjoyed, and see you guys soon!
