I Want to Be a Mime!

by Strawberry Sunrise

Rating: everyone
Tags: Equestria Girls, Comedy, Main 7 (EqG), Applejack (EqG), Random, Slice of Life
Length: 1044

Applejack makes an important announcement.

Applejack makes an important announcement.

Published 2019-12-18 18:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-12-18 18:50:01 UTC

An Important Announcement

It was an ordinary day. Applejack and her friends were having milkshakes at the Sugarcube Corner café and discussing the latest gossip about Countess Coloratura when Applejack suddenly slid out of the booth, stood up, and said, “I have to tell you something.” There was a long pause.

“And that something is…?” Pinkie Pie asked, finally breaking the silence.

“I...I want to be a mime!” Applejack yelled, and she started doing the traditional “mime-in-a-box” routine right there in the café. Several customers from other tables looked over at her in confusion. One of them clapped and cheered.

“You...what?” Rainbow Dash asked. Applejack was silent, as all good mimes are.

“She, uh...wants to be a mime,” Sunset said. “Apparently.” She looked at Applejack. “When did you decide that?”

Applejack didn’t say anything. She was still doing the mime-in-a-box routine.

“Well, um...if you want to be a mime, we’ll be happy to support you in reaching your goal,” Fluttershy said.

“I mean, if that’s what you really want...” Twilight said. “But have you considered the practicalities involved in making a living as a mime today? I’m not sure you’ll make all that much money…”

Applejack was still silent, staring blankly into space as she pulled on an invisible rope.

“Um...Applejack?” Rarity asked. She waved her hands in front of Applejack’s face. There was no response. Applejack kept pulling on her invisible rope.

“Hello?” Rainbow Dash said a few moments later. She poked Applejack, who was now climbing an invisible ladder. “Applejack?”

Several minutes passed, Applejack’s friends becoming increasingly worried about her as the time progressed. The customer who had cheered came over and slipped a dollar into Applejack’s pocket, then left. She had returned to being trapped in a box once again.

“Are you okay?” Fluttershy finally asked. She wanted to support Applejack’s life choice, if this was really what her choice was, but she just wasn’t acting like herself.

Applejack remained stone-faced.

“Should we call somebody?” Pinkie asked. She had thought Applejack’s miming was funny at first, but the lack of responsiveness was becoming concerning even for her.

“Okay, Applejack, this isn’t funny anymore,” Twilight said. “Please stop. Snap out of it.”

Applejack didn’t snap out of it. Instead, she started to eat an invisible sandwich.

Rainbow Dash grabbed one of Applejack’s hands and pulled it down, but Applejack continued to chew the air. As soon as Rainbow let go of Applejack’s hand, it went back up to her mouth again.

“Okay, either she’s really committed to this or there’s something wrong,” Rainbow Dash said. “I don’t know what that something is, but this is just weird.”

“Could she have had some kind of mental breakdown?” Rarity asked. “She was nervous about the English test tomorrow.”

“I don’t know. I’ve never heard of anything like this,” Twilight said.

Applejack began to walk in place. Her hat fell off, but she didn’t seem to notice.

“I think...I think maybe we should call somebody,” Fluttershy said.

Pinkie took out her phone and dialed 911, putting it on speaker so that all of her friends could hear. “Hello?” she said.

“911, what’s your emergency?” the voice on the other end said.

“Um...well, my friends and I were having milkshakes down at Sugarcube Corner - it’s on the corner of 5th and Main; we’re still here; their milkshakes are really good; you should try them sometime if you’ve never tried them before - and then one of my friends just stopped responding!” Pinkie said quickly.

“Okay, we’ll get someone dispatched down there right away,” the 911 operator said. “Is she breathing? Can you check her pulse?”

Pinkie put her hand in front of Applejack’s mouth. Applejack was leaning to the side as if blown by a strong wind, but she was breathing. Sunset took her pulse and gave a thumbs up.

“Um...yep, she’s breathing,” Pinkie said. “And her pulse is okay, I think.”

“Okay, can you tell me anything else about what happened before she stopped responding?” the operator asked. “Anything that might help us figure out what happened?”

“Um...well, we were having milkshakes and then she got up from the table even though she hadn’t even finished her milkshake yet and the milkshakes are so good and then she said, ‘I want to be a mime!’ and she put her hands up like she was in a box and…” Pinkie said.

“Is this a joke?” the operator said.

“What? No! I think something is wrong,” Pinkie said. Applejack was pulling on an invisible rope again.

“She’s not acting like herself,” Rarity said.

“Who was that?” the operator asked.

“Oh, that was Rarity, one of my friends,” Pinkie said. “Not the one we’re worried about. Another one. We’re all worried!”

“Okay,” the operator said. “What’s she doing now?”

“Um...Rarity’s standing here and, um...that’s all. Oh, she just finished her milkshake!” Pinkie said.

“No, I mean the friend you’re worried about,” the operator said.

“Oh, Applejack!” Pinkie said. “She’s still being a mime. She’s trapped in a box again.”

The operator hung up.

“Well, that wasn’t very nice!” Pinkie said. She moved to dial the number again, but Twilight motioned her to stop.

“Um...do you think someone’s still coming?” Fluttershy asked.

“I don’t know,” Twilight said. “Maybe not, if they thought it was a prank.”

But just a minute or two later, the sound of ambulance sirens came from outside and two people in EMT garb and face masks rushed in. While one of them, a woman with pink hair, was someone they didn’t know, the other was familiar.

“Big Mac? When did you become an EMT?” Sunset asked. He didn’t respond, too distracted by the realization that he’d been called to help his own sister. She was climbing an invisible ladder again.

The other EMT examined Applejack. “We’ve seen this before,” she said, her voice muffled by the mask. Big Mac nodded.

“Really?” Pinkie asked.

“Yes. It’s not serious, but it is contagious,” the EMT said. Applejack was rowing an invisible boat.

“But what is it?” Rainbow Dash asked. Before the EMT could answer, Rarity interjected.

“I want to be a mime!” she shouted, and immediately began doing the mime-in-a-box routine.

“That confirms it,” the EMT said.

“Yup,” Big Mac said. “Mime disease.”

The End