Angry Derpy.

by storiesatrandom

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Comedy
Length: 1470

Derpy is pissed.

Derpy would ordenarly be a happy, friendly pony…. but what happens if Moms are called fat? oh, you would not believe the reactions. see what accures when mothers are called fat.

image by Triox404.
inspired by a video made by Mindlessgonzo, who made it based on an animated art-piece about a rubber ducky interupting a scene from one of the new batman movies.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-18 02:41:19 UTC

Angry Derpy.

Angry Derpy distraction.

Celestia and Luna were injured by a new strong force: the Mask Kalimon. The Kalimon are a race of super-powered griffins that invade worlds, and Equestia was chosen. Luna and Celestia were almost defeated, but the Elements of Harmony are on their way…. But it may not be enough…

The leader of the Kalimon, was Zontron the undefeatable. Zontron said: "How pathic. I quickly defeated you two with such little effort on my part. (Speaks something in an ancient language.)"

Celestia and Luna are basically doomed, when….

A voice said: "OH MY GOD!"

Everyone was surprised! Everyone looked over to see…. Derpy?

Derpy said: "BASTURD!" Zontron was confused at best, as well as his followers. Zontron said: "The great hellish pits of granapon?" Derpy walked up to Celestia angrily and looked angry. Derpy said: "You just can't understand what he's saying, but I CAN!"

Celestia said: "What the….?" Luna said: "You understood Kalimon?"

Derpy shouted: "HE CALLED YOUR MOMMA FAT!" Zontron was in a state of extreme confusion. So were Celestia and Luna. Derpy shouted, looking at Zontron: "GOD DAMMIT! How dare you slag off their momma!"

Zontron said: "I didn't say a thing about their mother, I, uh, I….."

Derpy looks back at Celestia and said: "You better sort him out man, you better (suddenly becomes hard to understand, speaking mostly in gibberish!) AFLAC! DICKHEAD!"

Celestia looked at Luna, Luna looking back at her. Zontron was becoming more confused by the second.

Derpy shouts: "YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT THEIR MOMMA! JESUS CHRIST!"

Derpy angrily flew off!

Derpy shouted as she flew: "STUPID BITCH! YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH!" Zontron stared at this….

Luna said: "What…. The… Buck?"

Twilight and Friends suddenly busted through! Twilight shouted: "DON'T WORRY PRINCESSES! WE ARE HERE TO SAVE YOU!"

Twilight and friends activated the elements of harmony, and fired the rainbow ray at the Kalimon! Zontron and his forces caught in the rays, and quickly destroyed! Twilight said, in relief: "Celestia, we did it! We stopped Zontron the undefeatable." Rainbow Dash said, smugly: "You mean, formerly, undefeatable."

Celestia said: "Well, yes… all because, Derpy showed up all angry and ranting something about, our mom being insulted. It distracted him, I think."

Mane 6 shouted: "HUH?!"

Luna said: "We rather not talk of it… it's too…. Bizarre."

Angry Derpy Distractions 2.

Spike found himself surrounded by Timberwolves. They were closing in, then suddenly, moving out of the way because of their leader, the Tree Lord Xena. Xena said: "Calla bloom, co manla sora me conny all." Spike gulped. Suddenly.

A voice shouted: "OH MY GOD!"

Spike said: "Huh?"

Xena said: "Calla moo?"

It was Derpy!

She said: "BASTURD!"

Derpy walked up to Xena, and her angered, intimidating stare scared off the Timberwolves!

Spike said: "Derpy, what in Equestia are yo-"

Derpy shouted: "You just can't understand a thing he's saying, but I CAN!" Spike said: "Derpy, what are you talking about?"

Derpy shouted: "HE CALLED YOUR MOMMA FAT!"

Spike said, angered: "What?!"

Derpy shouted: "GOD DAMMIT! HOW DARE YOU SLAG OFF HIS MOMMA?"

Spike: "YEAH!"

Xena said: "Coobani?" Derpy looks at Spike, saying: "You better sort him out man, you better (speaks gibberish for a few minutes), AFLAC (Looks back at Xena) DICKHEAD! You don't know SHIT about his momma! JESUS CHRIST!"

Derpy Flew off!

Derpy shouted: "STUPID BITCH! THAT STUPID SON OF A BITCH!"

Xena said: "Coobani?" Spike raged out, and became adult Spike, and roared! The timber wolfs panicked and ran off!

Xena said: "SOOOOOOOOL!" Adult Spike smashes Xena!

Spike shrunk back down to normal Spike. Spike Said: "Good riddance to him. But…. What was up with Derpy?"

Angry Derpy Distractions 3.

Trixie was surrounded by the Manavillain Cockroaches, ferocious creatures of meat eaters. A Cockroach was chattering in hunger.

Trixie said: "My days as the Princesses' Grand Viser are at an end. Good bye, cruel world."

A voice said: "OH MY GOD!"

Trixie said: "Buh-Huh?"

Every looks at… Derpy?

Derpy shouted: "BASTURD!"

Derpy lands next to Trixie, who right now is confused out of her wit. The Cockroaches as well.

Derpy said: "You can't understand what he's saying, BUT I CAN! He called your momma fat! GOD DAMN IT! HOW THEY SLAG OF YOUR MOMMA! You better sort them out, man, you better (speaks in prolonged gibberish) AFLAC! DICKHEADS!"

Derpy turns around to the frighten roaches.

Derpy shouted: "YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT HER MOMMA! JESUS CHRIST!"

The roaches ran off!

Derpy flew off!

Derpy shouted: "STUPID BITCH! YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH!"

Trixie just stood there….. Trixie Said: "What the buck was that all about?" Trixie just stood there….

Trixie said: "Buck this, I am going back to Canterlot Castle where it's safe."

Trixie teleported away from the area.

Angry Derpy Distractions 4.

It was the worse night of Octavia's career. Her Cello is broken. And its five minutes before the show starts… what is she to do? Octavia said: "My life is ruined… What am I to do? If only, some, random thing would pop out of nowhere and, do something, distracting enough for me to do something…"

Meanwhile, on the stage, the Comedy team, Flim and Flam, Ponyville's finest barbers. Flim said: "Say Flam, soon enough, it'll be Octavia's turn to entertain the masses!" Flam said: "Yup! I bet the little lady must be looking forward for the best night of her life!" Flim said: "And quite a night it is, bro! Look at all this ponies here to listen to one of the greatest musicians Equestia has ever known! Nothing can ruin it!"

A gruff, muscle bound earth pony appeared on stage!

This was Heavy Heckler, who he was known to heckle. Heavy said: "You suck! And Your mum is vat! (Laughs cruelly)"

A voice said: "OH MY GOD!"

Everyone was surprised! Everyone looked over to see…. Derpy?

Derpy shouted: "BASTURD!"

The Flimflam brothers were confused. Heavy was more challenged then confused.

Octavia looked from behind the curtain. Octavia said: "Just the distraction I needed! Thank you, Celestia! Now, a quick phone call!"

Octavia dialed up a number on her cellphone.

Octavia said: "Vinyl dear? It's Octavia! I need you here, a.s.a.p.!"

Derpy approached the Flimflam bros.

Derpy said: "You don't understand what he's saying, but I CAN!"

Heavy said: "What's vhat supposed to bean?"

Derpy shouted: "HE CALLED YOUR MOMMA FAT! (TURNS ANGERLY TO HEAVY, WHO NOW QUIELS IN FEAR) GOD DAMN IT! HOW DARE YOU SLAG OFF THEIR MOMMA?"

Heavy said: "But, but, vhey bad comedians!"

A pony in the crowd said: "But we were all laughing at their jokes earlier before! Great human jokes by the way guys!"

Flam said: "Thank you, Miss Lyra."

Derpy said: "You better sort him out, guys, you better (speaks something in gibberish) AFLAC! DICKHEAD!"

The crowd gasps!

Derpy shouts at Heavy: "YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT THEIR MOMMA! JESUS CHRIST!"

Derpy picks up Heavy, and tossed him off the stage, and through the window, into the 5000 drop below Canterlot castle, screaming!

Ponies gasped. Film and Flam gulped. Octavia covered her mouth.

Derpy flew off! Derpy shouted: "STUPID BITCH! STUPID SON OF A BITCH!"

There was only silence.

Flim said: "Uh… Let's, pretend that didn't happen…"

There were a various mutters and chattering.

Behind the curtain.

Vinyl finished the cello.

Vinyl said: "Here you go, baby, here giant violin thingy."

Octavia said: "It's a Cello, but thank you. Quick, back into your place in the audience before you're missed!"

Vinyl vanished like that!

Flim said: "And now, Ladies and gentle ponies! We honorably and proudly present: Octavia!"

The curtains open, revealing Octavia!

And thus, granted the best performance of her life.

The audience loved it.

Octavia said quietly: "Thank you Derpy… I owe you one."

Epilogue.

Derpy awoke tired. Derpy walked torwords the kition for an early muffin. Derpy heard a knock on the door.

Derpy cheerfully said: "COMING!"

Derpy walks towards the door, and opens it. It was two guards.

One of them said: "Miss Derpy, we been told that you were responsible for the death of Heavy Heckler?"

Derpy said: "Uh…."

Derpy remembers…. Her poor tendency to over react when moms are called fat. The poor, misguided mare.

Derpy said: "Oops, my bad."

Guard said: "Well, don't worry. Because the fact you saved the lives of the Princesses, Spike, and Grand Viser Trixie, we'll let you off with a warning… but, you must at least arrange an apology for the deceases'' family, and set up the funeral for them."

Derpy said: "Uh, ok?"

Guard said: "You'll be expected to come next week. You'll be partnered up with the famous Cello player, Octavia. Her reason: she claims she, "Owes you one". Bizzare ain't it?"

With that, the guards left.

Derpy said quietly: "Thanks miss Octopus… I owe you one."