...to catch a changeling. Or at least a break.
A pony's fur truly is a wonderful thing, but there are times when it could stand to be even more wonderful. This was the thought that was utmost in my mind as I stomped my way through the snow down the path to the Pie rock farm.
The layer of fur on a pony's body was thin – far less than many species, both civilized and wild – but was deceptively effective at insulating the body. I had no idea whether this was due to physics or magic, as I lacked any real expertise in the theory of either, but it was a quality that I could rarely help but notice when I transformed into a pony.
Of course, this attention could be positive or negative. During the summer months, I would long for my cool carapace and be inclined to curse the fur coat that could not be removed – at least, not without drawing far more attention to myself than was desirable. During the dead of winter however...
Well, I would be lying if I said I was entirely happy with it, but only because it wasn't entirely sufficient to ward of the razor-sharp chill in the air. I tightened my scarf around my neck, thankful that my queen and her thrall – my princess and her husband, I corrected myself with as much force as I could – had insisted I wear it along with the boots that were preventing my hooves from freezing and dropping off my body.
Interesting trivia: when a transformed changeling loses a limb, that limb does not come back when he returns to his natural form. I truly wish this was discovered accidentally but... well, let's just say my former queen had a tendency to get curious.
Not for the first time, I considered changing form to something more acclimated to the cold. Alas, it wasn't feasible – while I couldn't see anyone around, I was still unwilling to take the chance that someone might catch the flash of green fire. Besides, I somehow doubt that the Pies would be unsuspicious if a yak were to turn up at their door.
I thought back to the message I had received and why making a good first impression on the family would make things far easier. My princess and her family had been travelling by train down to Ponyville to spend their Hearth's Warming holiday with Princess Twilight Sparkle and I was accompanying them, hoping to spend time with Spike. It seemed, at first, as though he was eager for this as well, as the scroll that materialized in front of me proved. However, upon reading the contents of the scroll, it became clear that, while this was true, our meeting was to be postponed briefly.
He informed me that Lady Pinkie had returned to her family's home to spend the holiday there but, the day after she left, she had sent Princess Twilight a message asking for help. She apparently had reason to believe that one of her sisters had been replaced by a changeling and wanted aid in identifying and, if necessary, subduing it. However, upon receipt of the message, Spike had suggested that, as I was already travelling in that direction, I should be sent to root out any possible changeling activity.
Sadly, I lacked the means at the time to send a reply and, as I could not bring myself to disappoint Spike, I decided to go. It took some convincing for my Princess to allow me to go alone, but she acknowledged that her travelling out there would draw attention enough to complicate matters. However, she insisted that I go out in a large earth pony body and take proper attire and several thermoses of hot soup and cocoa.
I really cannot overstate how much I preferred Princess Cadance over my former queen.
My prince also advised that I make my form female, though I confess I did not understand his reasoning quite so well and he had difficulty explaining it. He simply muttered something about “shrivelling like a walnut”, but would not elaborate further. Still, I had no reason to doubt his advice.
My ruminations on the subject were cut short as I approached the house in the centre of the barren, snowy plains. After taking a moment to shake as much snow off my body as I could, I stepped up onto the house's porch and knocked on the door.
A moment later, an older grey earth pony mare opened it, raising an eyebrow at the stranger on her door stoop. “Can I help thee?”
I gave a smile and a bow. “Bonjour, madame,” I spoke in my body's Prench accent. “May I please speak to Mizz Pinkie Pie?”
Her eyebrow remained firmly raised, but she nevertheless turned to the inside of the house. “Pinkamena? There waits a... foreign gentlemare to see you!”
From behind the mare, I heard a bouncing sound and another, far more vibrant voice. “Coming! I told Prince Rutherford he didn't need to send a courier, but you know how it is with yaks,” an intensely pink pony landed in the doorway – Pinkie Pie, if my understanding of pony names was anything to go by, “they always... oh, you're a pony. Hi, Ms Pony!”
“Bonjour, Mizz Pie,” I answered, giving another bow. “I come regarding ze matter zat you contacted ze Princess Twilight over.”
Her expression dropped as she stared at me intensely, her eyes narrowed. “Really? Okay, why don't we step outside for a moment?”
As the older mare shrugged and returned inside, Pinkie stepped out and pulled me around the side of the house, her eyes never leaving me. It might have been a lot less unnerving were she looking me in the eye, but instead her attention seemed fixed on my forehead.
Once we reached a point around the side of the house where we could be assured some privacy, Pinkie spoke again. “Okay, Ms Pony, how do you know about my letter to Twilight?”
I looked around, making sure there was no one else around, before approaching and putting my face close to hers. “Psst,” I said, allowing my disguise to drop around my face, though leaving my vocal cords and voice disguised “eet eez I, Thorax!” I re-donned my disguise and stepped away. “Ze message to ze Princess was relayed to me and I was asked to come and search for Changeling activity. I assure you, I mean you and your family no 'arm in ze slightest.”
Pinkie's eyes remained narrowed. “Uh huh, suuuuure you're Thorax!” She said, nodding sarcastically.
“Eet eez true, I am entirely reformed, there eez no need to... Wait...” I let my disguise drop entirely as what she had said caught up with me. “You... do not believe I am Thorax?”
Pinkie nodded. “Just ‘cause you're a changeling doesn't mean you're him. Sure, Thorax is a goodie now, but any old changeling could say they're him. How do I know you're really Thorax and not just disguised as him disguised?”
I blinked in confusion. The logic, though somewhat unusual, was sound, but the situation was entirely new to me. I had many times been suspected of being a changeling and a few times been revealed as a changeling, but I do not believe I had ever been mistaken for a changeling. It was a somewhat surreal experience.
Still, I shook my head, remembering my preparations. “Well, there is a way-”
“Oh, and if you shift yourself a horn, I'm bucking you into the wall and raising the alarm!” Pinkie said, a pleasant smile coming onto her lips.
Once again, my train of thought came to a shrieking halt – Pinkie Pie seemed exceptionally good at making that happen. Still, it explained why she was keeping an eye on my forehead and why she was willing to be alone with me if she suspected me of being an infiltrator. Without a horn, natural or assumed, I could not cast any magic on her – most changelings' natural defense against suspicion. From everything Spike had told me, I had expected Pinkie to be... a unique mind, to say the least, but it struck me that she may not be nearly as stupid as one might assume.
Still, I refocused on what I was going to say. “That is quite alright, I have no intention of interfering with you or your mind.” I paused for a moment, making sure my next sentence was correctly worded. “My Princess simply supplied me with a certain gesture.” Suspicious as Pinkie was, accidentally referring to Princess Cadance as my Queen would probably not help matters. “Though this particular obstacle was not foreseen, she assured me that this gesture would make absolute clear that I had nothing but good intentions.”
Pinkie's eyes narrowed further. “Well, okay, Mr Changeling, but I seriously doubt there is anything that you could do that would prove to me that you weren't...”
I reached a hoof forward and pressed on Pinkie's nose, lightly but firmly, while reciting the codeword I had been taught. “Boop!”
As if a button had been pressed, Pinkie's suspicion evaporated and a wide, elated smile came to her lips. “Oh my goodness, you really are friendly! Hi Thorax!” She leapt forward and wrapped her hooves around me. “It's so good of you to come, thank you, thank you, thank you!”
Ponies are very strange creatures.
Her verbal thanks weren't necessary, of course, I could feel the love radiating off of her. In fact, the strength I drew from it was just enough to offset the damage she was doing to my carapace with the strength of her hug.
After a mercifully brief time, she released me. “Anyway, you should come inside and we can talk about the problem.” She started back towards the door before stopping and turning to me. “Oh, and I love the Prench accent, but you might want to drop it for the moment.”
“As you wish,” I said, changing myself back into the form I had assumed previously – the only rock farmer I had in my repertoire – but making sure not to alter my voice. “I'm sure Bedrock would not appreciate the imitation anyway.”
A short while later, I was sitting with Pinkie and her parents at the family's dinner table. To my side, Pinkie was explaining who I was and why I was here. It seemed most efficient for her to be the one to do so, as she knew both the situation and her parents best. I confess, however, that I wasn't exactly paying attention, focused as I was on the collection of photographs I was examining.
Another interesting piece of trivia about changelings is how much information we can glean about a pony based solely on visual cues. It is hardly surprising for a species that largely exists on imitation, but we are somewhat hyper-attuned to things like facial expression, posture and body language and can often create a very competent facsimile of a given personality based on a relatively small amount of observation. As such, though it was not an entirely complete picture, I was getting a strong sense of Limestone Pie's personality though the photographs of her “happiest moments”.
That said, the fact that I needed to be told that these were happy moments... and have it reaffirmed several times gave me the impression that most beings could get a rough sense of what she was like from them. I certainly wasn't aware of many phenomena that could produce that consistent a scowl. I certainly didn't want to imagine one.
That abyss thoroughly stared into, I refocused on the conversation around me.
“...so there's absolutely no chance that he's going to knock us out, stick us in giant icky-sticky cocoons and feed off our emotional energy until we're nothing but barely-sentient husks!”
I swallowed as Pinkie finished her explanation, starting to question the wisdom of her being my spokespony. Still, her parents' expressions were neither suspicious nor hostile, so I can only assume that they found her explanation convincing. Or, at least, they didn't take the possibility she had innocently raised seriously. Either was possible.
Ponies are very strange creatures.
Still, there was little time to contemplate this – I had a job to do, after all.
“So, you believe your daughter.. and your sister... you believe Limestone to have been replaced? What was it that, what is the phrase... tipped you off?” I asked.
“Well, for the first day after I arrived, she was fine,” Pinkie said, her eyes narrowing slightly in remembrance, “but then the next day, she started acting... really, really weird.”
“How weird, exactly?” I looked specifically at the elder couple as I asked this, thinking their standards for oddity were probably a little less atypical than Pinkie's. “Was it simply a few moments that seemed unusual.” If it were, that would suggest that it was not due to a changeling.
One of the more obscure facts about changelings is that our ability to imitate other beings in form, word and action is not the only tool we have to keep our targets fooled. In addition to that, all changelings naturally exude a field of subtle but potent mental magic. For all but the most powerful among us, it does not compromise a target’s mental faculties, it simply makes them... less observant and more liable to ignore oddities about us. As such, it means that, if a small slip of the mask is noticed, it means that either there is something wrong with the target's mind or that it is not a changeling's doing.
However, the couple shook their heads.
“Not at all,” the male, Igneous Rock, said. “In fact, it seemed as though mine daughter had been replaced entirely by some other mare – one all alike in face and form, but antithetical in mind.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Really? How so? Did she...”
“Heeeeey, guys.”
I turned around at the new voice entering behind me, only to find myself looking at the mare in question. At least, it was her body.
By contrast to the clean cut and upright pony I had familiarized myself with, this Limestone was far more dishevelled. Her hair was unkempt and fell past her head in a frizzy and uneven tumble; her posture was loose, as if she was simply waiting to find a wall to lean against; her eyes were drooping a little and her mouth rested in a big, satisfied smile.
“How are we all, like, doing right now? We all feeling good? Yeah, course we are,” she answered herself without a pause. “Like, tis the season, right? Yeah, and...” Her lazily drifting eyes finally pointed in my direction. “Oh, hey, dude, you're new here. Welcome to the farm. You here to stay for Hearth's Warming?”
It took a moment to get past the dissonance of the mare I was seeing, but afterwards I shook my head. “I'm afraid not, I am here on... a matter of business.”
“Have to work around Hearth's Warming, huh? Bummer, dude. But hey, feel free to stick around afterwards if you want – my farm is your farm, you dig?”
“I... will consider it.” I replied cagily.
Limestone – in as much as she could be said to be Limestone – nodded. “Righteous. Anyway, I'mma head into the den. Sometimes, you just wanna, like, veg out for a while, you know? Yeah...”
She trailed off as she started walking past us and out of another doorway, having to catch herself briefly to stop herself walking into the side of it.
Once she was gone, I turned back to the table. “I see your concerns.”
The elder mare, Cloudy Quartz, nodded. “We had an inkling thou wouldst.”
Only a Queen's magic could possibly have obscured that level of change to a pony's character and I knew that was not present – my Queen is the only changeling whose mental field could majorly affect a pony's intelligence and it was unlikely the Pies were being affected by this, as they seemed as if they were currently capable of finding their left forehooves if you gave them five tries.
“So,” Cloudy continued after a moment, “is she truly an imposter?”
“I would have to talk to her and examine her more to find that out,” I replied.
This elicited a confused look from the Pies. “Can't you just, you know...” Pinkie waved her hooves in front of her in a semi-mystical manner, “tell?"
I sighed. “I'm afraid that is a common misconception. There is no immediate way to know if another being is a changeling in disguise – if there were, it might be possible for other beings to learn of it and see through our disguises too.”
“I see,” Cloudy said, looking a little disappointed – an understandable reaction.
Nevertheless, I continued. “Now, while I am sure that you have considered other possibilities and do not wish to appear as if I am insulting you by assuming otherwise, it would, I think, be prudent to go through and eliminate the obvious alternatives.”
Now, normally, upon seeing such a radical alteration to a pony's personality, one might think there was no way it was because they had been replaced by a changeling. After all, if that were the case, they would be putting much more effort into their impersonation and doing a much better job of it. However, there is one more little-known fact about changelings that would call that into question: changelings, like any other sapient race, are entirely capable of being stupid. Immeasurably so.
Still, it was best to explore other plausible reasons for the change too.
At the Pies' nods, I continued. “Has she recently gone through any experiences that might have had an impact on her mental state or wellbeing?”
Igneous shook his head. “I can say with certainty otherwise. Our lifestyle is not one that either courts or tolerates abnormalities. At least,” he looked to Pinkie, “not unfamiliar ones. There have been no such events recently, and I shouldst certainly have remembered if there were.”
“Understood.” I thought briefly before I asked the next question. “Has she come into contact with anything... unusual? Physically or magically?”
Cloudy Quartz nodded, but it was an understanding nod rather than an affirmative one. “We had considered that, but the only notable things were those gifts which Pinkie brought us, and she assured us there was nothing to be concerned over amongst them.”
“Uh huh!” Pinkie nodded as well, affirmatively this time. “I brought some really cool and unique presents, but I wanted to make sure they weren't gonna do anything bad to my family, so I got them checked out really hard and they were totally fine.”
“Hmm.” I made a note to look into that should other avenues of investigation not prove fruitful, but saw no reason to doubt Pinkie's assurances. As offbeat as her mind could be, she clearly cared enough about her family that she would not wish them endangered by negligence. I decided to move on to the next possibility.
My eyes then widened and I gulped audibly as I realized what the next possibility was and what I was going to have to bring up to Limestone's parents.
“Now, before I ask this next question, I would like your assurance that you will not respond with hostility – I am simply making sure of our assumptions and asking for all relevant facts.”
Igneous and Cloudy raised an eyebrow, entirely synchronized. “Very well,” Igneous said after a moment, “what question dost thou find so troubling?”
I sighed. “Has she taken or ingested any kind of... chemical or narcotic recently?”
Igneous narrowed his eyes. “What exactly art thou suggesting?” he asked, his voice as hard as his namesake.
It always amazed me how a pony could be so truly honest and yet say something so thoroughly untrue. He had been entirely sincere when he promised not to react hostilely, and yet...
“No indictment on her character or yours, I assure you, Mr Pie,” I said, instinctively adding a respectful address and tone in response to the glare he was still giving me, “it is simply that... one can, willingly, unwillingly or unknowingly, ingest certain chemicals that can cause... alterations to one's mental state.”
“Indeed,” Cloudy replied, looking no more enthused about the possibility being brought up than her husband. “However, there are no such chemicals anywhere on our property and, were any of us, including Limestone, to find any, they shouldst be disposed of immediately.”
“Understood. I apologize if I implied otherwise.” I took a deep breath as their gazes softened. Or, at least, resumed their normal level of solidity as opposed to a density so high my eyes couldn't escape its gravity.
“Is there anything else thou wouldst wish to ask us?” Cloudy said after a moment.
I shook my head. “I cannot think of anything. I think,” I gulped again, now apprehensive for an entirely different reason, “I think it is time for me to examine her personally. I... realize this is a somewhat strange request, but may I change into one of you? If she is a changeling, it would most likely lower her guard somewhat.”
“Ooh, ooh!” Pinkie began bouncing up and down in her seat. “Do me! Do me!”
Blinking in surprise at her enthusiasm – the fact she had it, that is, not her level of enthusiasm, that was something I was already becoming inured to – I shrugged and closed my eyes, concentrating on Pinkie Pie. I called up every image I had experienced of her – her form, her movements, her voice, every tiny noise and mannerism.
My eyes flew open as a big smile rocketed up my face and green fire flashed around me, changing me into the mare I had envisioned.
“Yeah!” Pinkie gave a firm nod as she saw me. “Now that's more like it!”
I briefly thought about questioning what she meant, but, by evoking her thought processes, I quickly realized it would be futile.
I walked into the living room, finding Limestone lying on her back, staring contentedly up at the ceiling. Her eyes flicked briefly to me as I approached before they returned to looking at nothing in particular. “Hey there, Pinkie. Need something?”
I shook my head, putting as much energy as I could in an attempt to match Pinkie's levels. “Nah, just wondered what you were doing.” I blinked heavily, trying to stop my brain from feeling like it was rattling around in my head. Imitating Pinkie was not for the faint of heart.
From her lying position, Limestone gave a big, horizontal shrug. “Oh, I'm not doing anything. Sometimes, you just wanna lie back and let the world pass by, you know?”
“Huh, if you say so.” That seemed like an idea Pinkie would find odd, but interesting. “Well, can I join you?”
Limestone raised an eyebrow slightly. “You wanna sit around doing nothing?” She thought for a moment before nodding. “Right on!”
“Okie Dokie Lokie!” I said before making myself comfortable and beginning a period of silence. A bit of a stretch for Pinkie, but just about plausible for a while, given she was trying this “peace” thing out for the first time. Besides, I needed to think.
This was what I was here for – to find out if this really was Pinkie's sister or not. To search out and pick up on the tiny clues that she had been replaced. To root out whatever deceit and subterfuge was taking place and find the absolute truth. There was just one problem:
I had absolutely no idea how.
If I’d had the opportunity to reply to Spike's request, I would certainly have informed him of this, but as I did not, I could not bear the thought of disappointing him. This was only exacerbated by the faith the Pies had in me. I had hoped that something would present itself, but so far nothing had and I was not confident in my ability to come up with something.
Now, under normal circumstances, one changeling identifying another would be no issue. What I told the Pies had been true – there was no immediately identifiable way to tell upon meeting somepony. However, this had, in the past, caused incidents...
“Ah, my dear, sweet, unsuspecting little pony. So innocent, so foolish - never even considering the possibility that you weren't with your true love. And now, as you lie there, blissfully ignorant, I shall feast on your sweet, tender... wait, where's the...”
“Dammit, Gary!”
...so a system of codewords had been constructed to help us identify one another. For example, if pony A wanted to find out if pony B was a changeling, he might slip the word “bone” into a conversation. If pony B responded by slipping in the word “fire”, he would know and if pony A responded to that by slipping in the word “feed”, pony B would know. This could continue for quite a while depending on how many were present and how sure they wanted to be, but the principle remained simple.
The issue is that these codes were not permanent. They changed every so often anyway and, after I was taken in by my Princess, they would undoubtedly have been completely overhauled and any changeling would be on high alert for anyone using the old words. After all, one would have to be phenomenally stupid to keep the same codewords after one of their agents defects.
...Okay, so considering our queen, that was a distinct possibility, but still not one I'd be comfortable relying on.
There were more direct methods of telling, of course, but most of them required spellcasting – a problem, since I neither had a horn nor could easily add one without raising suspicion that something was amiss. I could surreptitiously take some of her hair and wait to see if it dissolved into aether, but that process took several hours and was very slow and subtle, so I would need to watch it carefully – again, something that would raise suspicion.
There were, of course, things that would change faster, but I somehow doubted that I could take a sample of her blood without her noticing.
That meant that the only way to find out was through conversation and subtle interrogation. An issue since, like many changelings, I was a lot poorer than one might expect when it came to subtlety.
My right hindhoof started tapping in agitation as I thought about what I could possibly say. I knew I couldn't disappoint the ponies relying on me, but what could I...?
“You don't have to sit around doing nothing with me if you don't want to, Pinkie.” Limestone looked up at me, giving a gentle smile. “I get it, to each their own – you got your thing, I got mine.”
I gave her a bright smile, choosing not to comment on how recently she'd acquired this particular “thing”.
“Oh, no, don't worry about me, I’m doing fine. It is pretty relaxing.”
Limestone tilted her head, the back of her scalp scraping slightly along the floor and messing up her hair ever further. “Really? Then what's with the leg tapping... oh, is that another Pinkie Sense thing?”
“Pinkie Sense? Er, yeah, yeah, it is!” I gave a slightly exaggerated look to my tapping leg, so as to play off my confusion as simply not having noticed the movement.
Limestone nodded. “Oh, okay, cool. So what's this one mean? Someone's gonna slip on something? Something's gonna explode? Someone's gonna explode?”
I couldn't help my puzzled tone. “You think it's telling the future?”
Limestone shrugged. “Nah, I don't understand it any more than you do. Might be, might be one of the ones telling you something's happening right now. Was this one “alligator in the bathtub”? No, that's achy shoulder.”
My eyes widened a little as she spoke. Some kind of prescient or clairvoyant ability that Pinkie apparently had... based on random tics and feelings? Seemed a little farfetched, but Limestone seemed to believe it, so maybe there was something to it.
And even if there isn't, I thought as my eyes widened further, maybe I can still use it!
I made my eyes widen a little more. It hurt a little, but it was worth it to get a truly Pinkie-esque expression of realization and horror. “Oh, this one... this one's a bad one.”
“Oh, I see,” Limestone replied, not sounding especially bothered by the prospect.
I nodded rapidly. “Uh huh! This one means that someone... someone very close to me...” I leaned in close to Limestone and lowered my voice conspiratorially... by Pinkie's standards, at least, “...isn't who they're pretending to be.”
Limestone didn't look shocked or afraid of being found out at that, but that was to be expected – it'd be a poor changeling who would give themselves away so easily. So, still a distinct possibility, but not to be assumed.
“Whoa!” She said after a moment. “So, like, they're thinking they're somepony they're not? Like, they've got an act going for everyone, including them? They're lying to everyone and themselves about who, like, they truly are, deep down?” She nodded. “That's deep.”
I gave a Pinkieish chuckle at the expected attempt at deflection. “Nope. Well, maybe, but that's not what this means. It means they're actually disguised as another pony. Someone's an imposter!” Now that would get any changeling on high alert – not necessarily enough to break character, but enough for them to want to deal with the accuser before they could spread the word.
Limestone's eyes widened. “Whoa! Heavy!” She tilted her head up to look at the doorway. “You wanna go tell the others?” Translated: does anyone else know?
I hopped to my feet. “Yeah, I better warn them. You wanna come to?” I asked, maximising the innocence in my voice.
“Nah, I'll just wait here – wanna finish up my vegging. You get 'em and bring 'em all in here, then we can talk about what we wanna do.”
“Okie dokie lokie!” I chirped, hopping towards the door, my internal satisfaction almost reaching the level of my external joy. I'd pretty much corralled the potential-changeling into having only one option – they knew that Pinkie knew there was an imposter around, I'd assured them that no one else was aware, so they only had to deal with me, and I made sure to turn my back on them and give them ample time to shift themselves a horn and blast me with mental magic.
Of course, rather than being frozen in place and giving them the opportunity to weave further enchantments over my mind, I could simply counter the blast and reveal the imposter, but they didn't know that. Of course, they would be finding out any second.
Any second... I thought as I put a hoof on the doorknob. Any... second... now!
I turned around, a little surprised at the lack of attack, only to see Limestone still lying there, gazing vacantly up towards the ceiling.
I hummed for a moment. I was certain that I hadn't given myself away to her and, if she were a changeling, I knew for a fact that she would have taken the opportunity I'd just given her. And yet she didn't, so that probably meant...
“Hey, Limestone, are you a changeling?” I asked, the simulated thought process of Pinkie bringing the words to my mouth before I had a chance to consider and stop them.
“Hmm? Oh, right, no!” Limestone tilted her head up and looked at me with an easy, upside down gaze. “Like, I get it, no hard feelings – everyone's a suspect, right? And you shouldn't just take my word for it or anything but... nope. I'm still me.”
I nodded, pulled the door open and stepped through it, turning to see the real Pinkie waiting to the side. I gave her a smile.
“Good news, she's not a changeling.”
Pinkie nodded. “Yeah, I see what you mean.”
I paused for a moment, unsure whether Pinkie truly understood my reasoning or had her own. “Er, yes, her behaviour proves she...”
“Hey, Pinkie,” a voice came from the room along with the sound of an opening door, “just thought: maybe whoever's been...”
I turned around to see Limestone looking between us in languid surprise.
“Whooooaaaa! Seeing double! Freaky!” She gave a slightly dopey chuckle. “Guess that settles who's an imposter, huh? So who's the real...?”
“That'd be me!” the real Pinkie said. “This is Thorax – he's the good changeling from the Crystal Empire.”
I nodded as quickly as I could, so as to pre-empt any comment about whether to take her word for it. “Indeed, I apologize for the deception.” Closing my eyes, I resumed my natural form. “Your family was concerned about your change of behaviour and worried that you had been replaced. As such, they requested someone come and check.”
“Oooooooh!” Limestone nodded. “Yeah, that makes sense.”
I nodded again. “Once again, I apologize for...”
“Nah, don't worry, it's all good,” Limestone waved my apology off. “I'm just happy they care about me so much – really feeling the love right now.”
I blinked as her words registered. It hadn't occurred to me as relevant before, but I was an amoravore, so I could, when I wished, sense love. I reached out with that sense and found... far less than I was expecting, at least from Limestone.
Oh, in terms of quantity, there was plenty of love coming from her of various kinds. Nothing in the way of eros – romantic love – of course. I hadn't been expecting any, but as it's a changeling's most potent form of nutrition, it was instinctive to check that first. However, storge, philia and xenia – familial love, love as friendship and love as hospitality – were coming out of her in considerable quantities. However, despite that, all of it was strangely muted. It was like a soup that's been watered down until it barely has a flavour – plenty of it, but all of a very faint quality. Whatever was up with her, she was not entirely in her right mind.
Not being privy to my insight, Limestone continued. “I mean, I've been feeling pretty different since yesterday, so I guess it makes sense if I've been acting a little different too.”
Pinkie and I exchanged a look. It seems we had both assumed she was unaware of the difference, particularly since no one had told her for fear of alerting a potential changeling. If she knew, that made things somewhat easier.
“Can you remember when it started?” I asked.
She shook her head. “Not really, dude. Just kinda woke up like this.”
Hmm... possibly something happened during the night... but what could have...
Before I could think any further on the matter, Pinkie piped up. “Can you remember what was happening the last time you felt... normal?” She asked, the last word sounding a little strange, as if she was unfamiliar with it.
Limestone's eyebrows lowered as she tried to think, her altered state clearly slowing the process down. “I think... it was the night before, you'd arrived that day... spent the afternoon and evening catching up... I yelled a little... only thing that happened that you weren't there for was looking through the presents you brought. After that, went straight to bed.”
Pinkie and I exchanged another look, though this time it was less symmetrical, Pinkie looking a curious combination of guilty and puzzled. “I guess... but it can't be... Zecora and Twilight told me there was nothing to worry about in there.”
I shrugged. “Still, we should probably check, shouldn't we?”
She nodded and lead me out of the room and through the house.
“I know of Princess Twilight, of course,” I said as we walked, “and I would certainly trust her judgment, but I confess I'm not familiar with anyone named Zecora. It seems an odd name for a pony.”
“That's because she's not a pony,” Pinkie replied with a smile. “She's this really cool zebra who lives in the Everfree forest. She knows everything there is to know about the Everfree and most of what there isn't.”
I raised an eye-ridge at that as Pinkie lead us into a small side room containing a large, solid trunk. “The Everfree? Pinkie, what exactly are these presents?”
“Rocks!” Pinkie chirped as she opened the trunk to reveal that, indeed, it was filled to the brim with rocks. “All the unique rocks from the Everfree I could find that wouldn't cause problems. We've got feltspar, ig-nite, halftz, knot gneiss, lemonstone, allthe marbles... I even found Maud a playmate for Boulder,” she pulled out a small, pink pebble, “they're gonna look so adorable together!” She grinned and gave off a sound uncannily similar to the rubber duck I'd seen Flurry Heart play with.
Ponies are exceptionally strange creatures.
Still, I nodded along. “And not only did the Princess assure you they were safe, you also brought in an expert to vouch for them as well?”
“Well, I didn't exactly bring her in,” Pinkie replied, still looking over the small pool of rocks, “me and Twilight had to go out to her hut for her to take a look.”
I started nodding before a thought occurred. “...Meaning you had to take them back through the Everfree afterward?”
Pinkie also started nodding before the same thought evidently struck her. “You don't think...” Without waiting for an answer, she grabbed the trunk and, with a strength I would not have expected her to possess, tipped it over so the rocks came spilling out.
However, they were not the only things to fall out. Had its bright blue colour not stood out so much from the rocks surrounding it, I may not have noticed it, but I did see a single flower petal fall out from among the tumbling stones.
I reached for it to get a closer look before a pink leg grabbed mine and held it immobile before I could touch it.
“Well,” said Pinkie after a moment, “that explains a lot.”
“...thing is, though, Poison Joke affects everypony differently,” I heard from the Pies' bathroom as I led Limestone there. “When I touched it, it made my tongue swell up huge so I couldn't speak!” I could practically hear Pinkie spread her hooves apart to emphasize the hugeness.
“Truly? Such a thing seems scarcely imaginable,” Cloudy replied as I approached.
“I know, right? So, it looks like for Limestone, it made her go all... oh, there you are!” Pinkie turned to us as we walked into the room.
“Heeey, guys!” Limestone said to my side. “So, changeling-dude said you'd got a bath for me.”
“Uh huh!” Pinkie smiled before getting a slight expression of guilt. “Er, not because I think you need one like that, you smell fine, it's just...”
“Nah, I get it!” Limestone shrugged. “Just wanted to do something nice for me, that is, like, sooooo you, Pinkie. And I'm not gonna say no to a good, long soak, you know?”
She walked forward, gave Pinkie a brief hug, then hopped up and into the water. “Ooooooh, this is niiiiiiiiice!” She said after a moment. “What did you put in this, this is like... sooooo good. I just wanna...” She trailed off, staying totally still for a moment with a blissful smile on her face. Then, without warning, she dunked her head below the water.
A little concerned, I trotted up to the tub and looked in. I was sure she was in no danger, but I thought it best to be cautious. Besides, I was somewhat interested to see what was going to happen to her as the herb-infused water started to work.
It therefore came as something of a surprise when her hoof rocketed out of the water and hit me right on the muzzle. My surprise was somewhat lessened as I flew backwards and through the bathroom wall, but only because the confusion and pain rather overwhelmed it.
“You stupid bug!” I heard as I landed among the debris. “That was the first time in years I was actually feeling relaxed! Thought I could have one Hearth's Warming where I actually felt good! But nooooo, you just had to come in and ruin it, didn't you?!”
“Celestia be praised!” Igneous Rock cried. “Mine daughter hath returned to me! 'Tis a Hearth's Warming miracle!”
“Thank you, Thorax!” Cloudy Quartz added. “You have our most esteemed and eternal gratitude!”
“Thenk notheng of et,” I said through the rubble over my face and the blood pouring out of my nose.
As I walked up to Princess Twilight and Spike's castle, I snorted, happy that my nose was beginning to clear.
Fortunately, I had been fed enough love by the Pies to accelerate the healing process. The love they'd given... I do not know if ponies have a term for it, but it was a very filling kind – love as gratitude, not just for a service performed, but in appreciation of the good will behind it. Even Limestone, though she showed not an iota of it in her tone or expression, did feed me with plenty of it. It seemed, once the shock of the euphoria ending wore off, she appreciated being back to her normal self. After all, feeling happy is only worthso much if it's not truly you who's feeling it.
That, plus the absolutely delicious rock soup they fed me – the sheer amount of love ponies can put into their food is astounding – was enough to get me feeling much better and I considered it all as adequate payment for my service. Which is fortunate, since my actual payment... well, I appreciated the thought behind it and was grateful for the meaning it evidently held to them. However, I confess I'm not sure what use I could have for a rock as big as my head.
Still, I carried it with pride as I knocked on the castle door. A moment later, it was opened and I saw the one I had been most looking forward to reuniting with.
“Hey, Thorax!” Spike cried as he ushered me inside. “How are you doing? Shining told me you'd been called away, but I knew you'd...” he trailed off as he looked at my back. “What is...”
I looked back at the Pies' payment. “Oh, yes, I was given that as a reward for my service.”
“Is that a diamond?”
I looked back at it. “I think so. It is certainly some form of rock. Anyway, do you have anywhere I can put i-” I stopped as I turned back to him and saw him drooling a little. “Do you... do you want it?”
“I...” I could see the desire in his eyes as his mouth began to form the word yes. However, after a moment, he shook his head. “No, it's fine. It's your present, I'm not gonna take it away from you.”
“On the contrary,” I said, taking the gem and holding it out to him, “while I confess I'm still not sure of the distinction between payment and present, I can think of no better use for such a gift than to bring joy to a friend such as you. The opportunity to do so is both payment and present enough.”
“I... wow, thanks, that's... just... wow!” He said as he lead me into a living room, where Princess Twilight, my Prince and my Princess were waiting. They turned and greeted me with a cheer.
I smiled as I felt the philia and slight storge from them, as well as the loving gratitude pouring out of Spike. “You are most welcome! Happy Hearth’s Warming!”
Yes, ponies truly are strange creatures and it seems the same applies to Dragons. As, I suspect, it does to griffons, minotaurs, zebras, hippogriffs, yaks, breezies and, though I lack the objectivity to say for certain, I think changelings. All life, both in general and for each specific being, is strange.
At that moment, I could not think of another fact that made me more glad to be alive.
