Once a Shadow

Well I didn't sleep well. Well, that's actually understatement of the year. The entire time I slept, I was re-living the slaughter of all of those ponies. I was forced to memorize every detail of how I killed them all. From smashing that guy's head to ripping Umbra in half. I have no idea how Soarin got me up here without somepony freaking out about all of the blood that must have been on me. The worst part about it is not knowing if I actually did all that, and I'm fucked up, or if I didn't do all of that, and I'm fucked up for dreaming of that over and over again. It's a lose-lose for me in this case. I'd still prefer the latter to the former though. I'd rather be just insane than an insane murderer.

I just want to leave this place. I figured having this bachelor party would be a good idea, but boy was I wrong. Hopefully the others had more fun than me.

I looked across from me, and found Soarin's bed empty. That does make me curious, why did he put me in his room? Screw it, I'm not figuring anything out by just laying around.

I groggily got out of bed and let out a huge yawn. Ugh, I need more sleep. More sleep with less nightmare/creepy-ass visions anyway. I lazily walked over to the door and opened it. Everypony else was awake and on the couch.

"Morning." Ni said.

I nodded to him and went over to the coffee. Thank God they have coffee here. I poured myself a cup and sat down with the rest of the guys.

"Sleep well?" Soarin asked.

"No."

"I'm sorry to hear that." He replied. The surprising part about that comment was that he meant it. There was no sarcasm about it, which made me a little uneasy.

"I'm fine, really."

"No, you're not, really. When we get back to Cloudsdale today, Spitfire can explain why you keep having nightmares."

"How did you-"

"She'll explain everything. For now, just relax and enjoy your coffee."

"Easy for you to say..." I said before taking a sip.

"We only have a few hours until we have to check out. Anything else you guys wanted to do?" Soarin asked, choosing to ignore me in order to drop the subject.

"Not really, I'm ready to see Twilight again." Barry said.

"Yeah, I think I'm ready to go home to Derpy." Ni said.

"I guess we're all ready to get back to our marefriends, and in my case, fiance and kid." I said.

"You guys had enough 'bro time' then?" Soarin asked.

"Do you mind if I ask a question?" I asked Soarin.

"Shoot."

"Okay, well if you're so scared of falling in love again because the mare would eventually die, why don't you hook up with Spitfire?"

The question took him completely off guard, and he fell backwards in his chair, laughing. He got up, and wiped a tear from his eye. "Sorry, but that's the first time ANYPONY has said something about the two of us hooking up. Nah, I don't think it'd work between us. She's my best friend, and that's about it. I don't think I could ever picture us actually together."

"Really? That response surprises even me, and I've known you guys for hundreds of years." Ni said.

"So you two are completely oblivious to each other, huh?" Barry added.

"Seriously, what's keeping you from asking her out? It's obvious you like her, I've seen the way you look at her."

He sighed. "...Because i'm too..." He mumbled

"What was that?"

"I said I'm too..." He mumbled once more.

"Mumble again and it's your balls."

"I SAID I'M TOO SCARED!" He realized what he said and quickly covered his mouth.

"So THAT'S why you won't ask. Hell, can't say I blame you. She IS pretty damn scary, and that's aside from being more powerful than any of us. If you really do like her though, you should go ahead and ask if she likes you as well." I said.

"I don't know..."

"C'mon dude! You've been picking up mares for over a century, but you're too scared to ask the one that really matters?"

"I agree with Shadow. If you don't ask, you'll only be hurting yourself. You never know if she feels the same way." Ni said.

"...Okay. I'll ask."

"There you go! I'll get you're back bro! Except not really, because I don't wanna be within five miles of you if she takes it the wrong way." I said.

"Gee, thanks."

"Don't mention it buddy. Now that our business here is concluded though, should we depart?"

"Yeah, sure, lets go." Barry said.

We got up and got our stuff packed, and headed downstairs. I trotted up to the front desk, which was being worked by a different mare this time.

"Enjoy your stay sir?" She asked, putting on a friendly face.

"I did, thanks."

"My pleasure. Say, you look familiar."

Here we go...

Over to Soarin, Barry, and Ni about twenty feet away.

"...but why Shadow? It hasn't happened once in over nine hundred years, but it somehow affects one of our strongest?" Ni said.

"As I recall, it happened to one of our strongest, and I'm not sure why it happened to him. Hopefully Spitfire can shed some light on this." Soarin replied.

"I mean it just doesn't seem fair to the guy, he's getting married in a few days, and just adopted a kid..."

"We won't let anything bad happen to him. We're his friends, and I'll be damned if we sit back and do nothing while this happens to him."

"Wait, what the hell are you two talking about?" Barry asked, completely confused.

"Don't worry about it, it'd be too difficult for you to grasp, since you don't know much about us."

"He's my friend too."

"I understand that, but trust me on this, you don't want to know what is really wrong with him."

"Now that got me even more worried."

"Better drop it, here he comes." Ni said.

Back to Shadow.

After talking to yet another star-stricken mare, I trotted back over to the group. "Alright, you guys ready?"

"Sure..." Barry said.

"You alright Barry?" I asked.

Soarin nudged Barry, making him speak. "Uh, no, I'm fine."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"Alright then."

We trotted outside, and Barry climbed on Ni's back. We took off and started flying home. I gave a disappointed sigh as we ascended, because as soon as we lifted off, Nesral had made a lunge for me, only to miss and have his face slide on the pavement. That had to suck.

After thirty minutes of flying, I began to have a slight head pain. I decided to ignore it at first, but the pain started to get worse. Now, I heard ringing in my ears, and I can't see straight. I slowed down to a stop, trying to regain my senses. I could see the blurry visions of Ni, Soarin, and Barry calling out to me, but I couldn't hear them. They seemed so far away, and pretty soon they faded completely. My vision was now black.

"Hello Landon, it's good to finally talk to you." A menacing voice said. Scratch that, both menacing AND insane sounding.

"Wha? What the hell is going on?! Show yourself!" I demanded. I was in a pitch black room, but I could still see myself.

Just then, a weird bubbling came from the ground, and a pegasus with a crimson coat and crimson mane and tail with a black outline appeared.

"What the fuck? You look just like-"

"You?" He gave a creepy looking grin. "Except opposite color scheme? My, aren't you the observant one!"

"Alright fucko, who the hell are you?"

He laughed. "Is it really that difficult for you to figure out? Alright, how about this? Everybody, or pony, has a dark side to them. It doesn't matter who you are, there are no exceptions. For some people, their nicer side is the one in control, for others, their dark. However, even though one side is in control, that doesn't mean that the other side is weak. Quite the opposite in fact, it's stronger. Much stronger."

"Hold up a second, are you saying that you're me? Only a douchebag version of myself?"

He grinned.

"And that voice...YOU SON OF A BITCH! YOU KILLED ALL OF THOSE PONIES!"

He raised his front right hoof and smiled. "Guilty as charged. Now, before you decide to do something stupid, remember what I told you. The opposite side is stronger. There's no need for you to hate me though. What is the most important goal in your life right now?"

"...To protect Rainbow and Solemn with my life, no matter what."

"And there's the problem. With your life. What you don't realize is that it's OUR life. If you die, I die. Same way vice-versa. Also, you just may have to end up giving your life. I don't want that to happen. You need power to protect those two, and I can offer it. All you have to do is give me control."

"You're fucking high if you think that's gonna happen!"

The ground below him started bubbling, and he started sinking through it. He gave me an insane look with wide eyes. "You may not have a choice in the near future. I'll be waiting for an opening, and then I'll be the one in control. See you soon Landon." He finished before disappearing in the ground.

My vision started to clear up, and I could tell I was on somepony's back. I let out a groan.

"Good, you're awake." Soarin said.

"What the fuck happened?" I said, holding my head in my hooves.

"You passed out mid-flight. I flew down and caught you before you hit the ground. You've been out for the majority of our flight. We'll be in Cloudsdale in about ten minutes."

I looked around and noticed Barry and Ni weren't with us. "Where are Barry and Ni?"

"Ni went to take Barry home in Ponyville."

"...Why didn't you take me home as well?"

"Because I imagine you want answers as to what's happening to you."

"You mean you know?"

"I may know what's happening to you. You've tried to hide it, but you did rather poorly with that."

"So you had a good guess as to what's wrong with me, and you didn't tell me?!"

"I know how much that party meant to you, and I didn't want to ruin things for you, or make things worse anyhow. I figured it could wait."

"...I killed all of those ponies didn't I?"

"...That wasn't you Shadow, that was something else."

"He said he was a part of me..."

"Wait, you mean you tal-"

"Talked to him? I guess. That's what I was doing while I was passed out. He said that whether I wanted to or not, he'd gain control eventually."

"Not if we have anything to say about it."

"We?"

"The rest of the Mones. We look after our own, Shadow. Here, we're at Cloudsdale now. I'll let Spitfire explain it better."

"So she knows what's going on then?"

"She knows more than I do about this. That's all I can really say."

Just then, we arrived at the Wonderbolts HQ, and I crawled off of Soarin's back. We trotted inside, and went down into the sanctuary. Spitfire was the only one at the table, so we trotted over to her.

Soarin went up to her and whispered something in her ear. Her eyes widened for a second, but she quickly regained her composure.

"You're sure?" She said to Soarin.

He nodded. "Even Ni agrees with me that it's happening to him."

She sighed. "Alright, thanks. Shadow, walk with me for a sec." She said before getting out of her seat.

I walked over beside her, and we started our walk.

"Soarin said you might know what's happening to me."

She nodded. "I do."

"So you know that I apparently have an evil side that killed a bunch of ponies and wants control of my body?"

"I do."

"Then you'll know how I can get rid of it, right?"

"..."

"Please tell me you can help me."

"I-...I'm sorry Shadow. I never expected this to happen."

"Why are you apologizing? This isn't your fault."

"That's the thing...it is."

"Wait, what?! Are you saying you did this to me?!" I said, taking an aggressive stance.

"Not directly. There is something I didn't mention before you joined us. About the potion..."

"This is gonna be good. What's your excuse for making me a multi-personality murderer?"

"The potion has more than one possibility of a side effect. There are two that are much more dangerous than the rest. First, obviously, is the chance of instant death."

"And the other?"

"Can make your opposite's powers grow substantially, resulting in a take-over of your body."

"WHAT?! There was a side effect that serious and you didn't fucking tell me?!

"None of us told you because the chances of the side effect actually happening are less than a hundredth of a percent. In the entirity we've existed, only one of us has ever had the side effect."

"Who was it?"

"...Me."

"You? You had the side effect?"

She nodded. "Around nine centuries ago, I took the captain's potion. A little more than a week later, it happened."

"What did you do when you got the side effect?"

"I thought I was going insane at first, but I was unfortunately wrong in that assumption. After the first week, I had my first contact with my evil side. Three days later, it took control of me. Before it did, however, I warned the other Mones at the time to seal me up in a room located in this sanctuary. Not just any room though, this room was enchanted by the Elements of Harmony themselves to seal away any magic, whether it come from unicorn, alicorn, zebra sorcery, or even a potion. I stayed in that room for six months, trying to fight back against my evil side. It wouldn't budge, even with the Elements' power beating at it. On the sixth month, it took control of me..."

"What happened after that?"

"You know how I told you one of the original four of us died from taking on four regenerans bestia?"

"Yeah..."

"That was I lie. I...killed him. I broke out of the enchanted room, and my fellow Mones tried to stop me, including Soarin. After killing Thundercloud, that was his name, Soarin, and the other member, Supersonic, managed to restrain me. Both of them took the strength potion, but even with both of them, they had trouble holding me down."

"So how did you defeat your evil side?"

"War within my own mind. Literally. I battled against my evil side, and won. When I came to, I was...horrified. I'd killed one of our own members, whom I considered family to me. I couldn't just leave though. Soarin and Supersonic needed me as much as I needed them. So I stayed."

"...What happened to Supersonic?"

"...Another time Shadow."

"Okay then. But what you're saying is, I have to fight this evil side of me in my own mind? How the hell do I do that?"

"You don't get to choose when you fight. It does. If you've been having the nightmares for two days now, I expect it to make its move within a week."

"But I have a wedding in a few days! What if it happens there?!"

"Then you must be ready to fight it. If you don't win the battle, then I'm sorry, but I'll have to kill you. Because if I don't, then you would kill everypony at the wedding, Canterlot, Equestria, and the world."

"...I understand."

"I'm glad you do. I really hope it doesn't come down to that Shadow, because you're family to me."

"I hope it doesn't come down to that either...Will I continue having nightmares until it happens?"

"If you can sleep, yes."

"Oh, well fantastic then." I said with a roll of my eyes.

"The nightmares are the least of your worries Shadow."

"If you say so, they just seem so...real."

"I've been there too. You're not alone in this."

"Thanks Spitfire. I guess I'm gonna fly home back to Rainbow and Solemn. Oh wait, how has Solemn been doing?"

"She's been good. Right now, we're just working on weapon safety. When she's nine, I'll teach her hoof-to-hoof combat. And when she turns thirteen, I'll train her with actual weapons."

I nodded. "Alright. Thanks for telling me what's wrong. At least I know I'm not insane now, instead I just have an evil, mass murdering side to me that wants control."

She rolled her eyes. "Bye Shadow."

I grinned. "Later." I said before trotting upstairs and exiting the building. I took flight and headed home.

It's only been two days, but I miss the hell out of Rainbow and Solemn.

I picked up my pace, the faster I fly, the sooner I get to see them.

When I arrived, it was probably 10:00PM. I trotted upstairs and found Rainbow already asleep. Solemn must be in her room, so I'll let her sleep. I trotted over to the bed and snuck in beside Rainbow. I closed my eyes and let Rainbow's soft snoring help me drift to sleep.

/././

I slowly trotted away from Canterlot Castle as it burned, stepping over the bodies that littered the streets that had fallen to my blades. Among the bodies were that of the elements, the cmc, Thunder Gunner, Dad, Mayor Mare, Blaze, Soarin, Ni, Spitfire, the princesses, and...wait...no! No, goddamnit, no!

I gained control of myself and ran over to the bodies of Rainbow and Solemn.

I broke down right there. "Why...why?! I couldn't protect you...I'm so sorry! I couldn't even protect you from myself!" I punched the ground, leaving a hole where my hoof hit.

The ground bubbled beside me, and my opposite slowly rose out of the abyss.

"YOU!" I growled. "You did this, you son of a bitch!" I yelled as I charged him with my blade.

He effortlessly caught my left foreleg and snapped it like a twig. I cried out in pain but swung at him with my other hoof anyways. This time he caught it and brought me in close, and gave me a jab to my chest, breaking several ribs. I fell to the ground, but still tried to reach for him.

"You are no match for me Landon. Soon I will have control, and this will not be just a vision." He gave me that crazy grin. "See you soon, Landon!"

I felt the pain getting worse, and it was getting harder to breath. I think part of a rib was shoved into my lungs. My vision blackened as the life faded from me.

/././

I shot up in bed, panting heavily. Damnit! These nightmares are getting worse and worse!

"Shadow, are you okay?" Rainbow whispered.

I looked at her. "Yeah...it was just a bad dream, go back to sleep."

She wrapped a hoof around my chest and slowly pulled me down until my head was on my pillow facing her. She pressed her mouth against mine and gave me a brief kiss.

She smiled. "I'm glad you're back Shadow."

"Me too."...For how long, I don't know...

I surprised myself on how much I got done by just sitting down and spending quality time on this. Well there's an early(ish) chapter for you guys. Supah (Originally from fanfiction. He just made an account on here. It's SupahBrony301. He should be posting his story pretty soon, so you should go follow him. He's ALMOST as good as me.) and I should have the next chapter of From War to War out pretty soon. It's the first time either of us has collabed, so it's taking some time. Enough about that dickwheel though, what did you guys think of this chapter? The clock is ticking on Shadow, and things can only get worse. G'night everypony!

Chuck Norris fact of the day: Chuck Norris's family crest is a picture of a barracuda eating Neil Armstrong. (R.I.P. To the guy btw, no disrespect meant, this is just hilarious.)