Royals. Problem?

by Split Scimitar

Rating: teen
Tags: Principal Celestia, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Mario, Human, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Vice-Principal Luna, Original Character, Equestria Girls
Length: 26330

Equestria’s recently-abdicated monarchs begin their retirement adventures in the other world, along with their doppelgängers.

Princess Twilight, in light of her ascension to the throne, and as a preparatory exercise for taking over the School of Friendship, sends Starlight Glimmer to my world, a difficult decision for the Princess, but one done in the name of knowing more about my world (since the friendship map now includes portions of it). Having already purchased a holiday home in Burlington, VT, Starlight should have no trouble moving, though she is understandably nervous about a long-term residency.

Her hire request is for the two now former diarchs of Equestria, eager to try another sisterhood journey after their previous attempt in their own world did not go as planned.

From what I’ve been told, the two sisters on both sides as it were are very close, but in terms of interests, it’s night and day you could not find any more divergence. Having been the mediator and third/neutral party for most of my life, I would be remiss not to act the part now.

Starlight Glimmer also appears.

Mario tag as Rosalina makes an appearance. No other characters appear.

Rated T for abrasiveness.

Published 2020-02-02 08:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-02-09 08:14:46 UTC

Lotta Little Things

Author's Note

Once again, the DC Metro Map.

Foggy Bottom is on the Blue/Orange/Silver Line.

Lotta Little Things

Next morning, I wake to the wonderful rhythm of my colon at an ungodly hour. Even though I can fit in a nap, I decide against it, so for that I hop into the shower and use the hot, steamy water to refresh and wake up, since I’m quite stiff from sleeping awkwardly, and I want to acclimate as quickly as possible.

Just in case I get invited to Congress, I put on a dress shirt and black pants, and so I don’t look out of place in the penthouse. Laughing at my own logic, I soon head downstairs and have some breakfast right at their opening of 6:30 am. Being the first customer of the day, I’m treated rather nicely, since I imagine most of the staff are at their highest energy. That said, what I order is for their sake an easy one. Classic eggs and bacon with some toast and a bowl of fresh fruit. To drink: coffee.

Once paid, I slowly make my way to the Pentagon City metro station. Naturally, I decide to wait a few before purchasing my metro ticket.

“Good morning,” I text Sol, “What time did you want to meet? I forgot to ask last night.”

After about 20 minutes, I assume they’re still asleep, so I decide to head back to the hotel.

When I return to my room, I lay down in bed and set an alarm for 10 minutes, snoozing at each interval until a response comes.

“Hello Max,” Sol replies, “we’re just leaving for the metro station right now.”

“Okay! See you soon!”

Slowly, I head back to the station and purchase the ticket. Paying for a one-way fare, I board a blue line, electing to take the longer route instead of taking the yellow line and transferring. I’d much rather stay on one train even if it takes longer. How’s that for lazy?

Our first stop on [both blue and yellow line] is The Pentagon. I watch as passengers light and board in no particular sequence, but it’s also early enough that there’s no unnecessary confusion, even though we are in the rush hour window.

Rinse and repeat with Arlington National Cemetery. This stop nets more on than off to my surprise, so I prepare to surrender my seat, ultimately not needing to but losing the free seat next to me.

Now arriving in Rosslyn, transfer to orange and silver line available. 4 stops to Metro Center. Ι elect to stretch, I surrender my seat, taken immediately by an older gentleman who boards after I stand.

At the next station, the doors close, but soon after, an announcement comes from the driver,

“Ladies & gentlemen,” it begins muffled by low quality speakers, “we’re currently waiting for a red signal to change. Should be about 5-10 minutes, then we’ll be on our way.”

After two or three songs from my music library, without any signs of motion, the doors open again, followed by another announcement.

“Ladies and gentlemen, we apologize. Due to a hazard in the next signal block, all metro services in this corridor are temporarily suspended.

A loud groan from those on the train almost drowns out the rest of the announcement.

“Please see a Metro agent to discuss compensation. At this time, we do have a replacement bus service on the way for those who require it. Please follow the signs to the bus transfer terminal, they’ll be boarding there, where they’ll accept your ticket. We appreciate your patience and apologize for the inconvenience.”

I get out of the train as quick as I can but still queue behind quite a few, most of whom are from this train.

“Hi, are you off the train at the platform?”

“Yes. I’ll just take a refund on the value. I’m close enough to my destination.”

“Okay. I’ll take your ticket. Was this paid by cash or card?”

“Card.”

“Okay. One second.”

Working the magic of a computerized system, she then shreds the ticket and says,

“Okay, your refund has been issued. It should show up as a credit for the remainder amount within the next two to three business days. Sorry for the inconvenience.”

“Not a problem. Thank you for the help.”

“Have a good day.” The operator smiles.

I then exit the station to get good cell reception. If they’re on the red line, I don’t know whether or not they’re underground, so I do the only thing I can, start walking towards the Metro Center station.

A few blocks later, my phone rings.

“Hello?”

“Hey Max, Starlight. We’re already at the Metro Center station. Where are you?”

“Well, I’m bogged down at Foggy Bottom. Or maybe I should say Foggy Bottom bogged.”

“Oh, I can see that now on the message board. ‘Orange, Silver, Blue Lines suspended service between Foggy Bottom and Farragut West.’”

“Yeah. I left the station so I’m walking over to Metro Center now. Let’s meet at the Washington Monument.”

“Okay. I’ll let them know. Sorry Max.”

“Eh? I need the workout.”

She chuckles. “Okay. Don’t take too long.”

“I’ll try, I have about a mile and a half.”

“Okay, bye.”

“Cya!”

Preserving some energy, I slow my pace and make out the memorials of Lincoln and World War II. I smile to seeing them, breathing a sigh of relief when I cross the street to that side.

As I make for the giant obelisk, I look for a place to buy water before I meet the other five.

After I buy a large 1 L bottle, I walk around the pencil and find them after going through half the bottle.

“Hey,” “Good morning,” and “Sorry I’m late” are the three greetings I give to Starlight, Sol, Selena, Celestia, and Luna.

“Are you meeting Ms. Skystar?” I then ask Sol and Selena specifically.

“She said she wanted to see us, but I don’t know if she’s busy.” Sol replies.

“Even if we don’t, there is an abundance of museums to visit.”

“And one that I imagine you, Max,” Princess Celestia teases, “would love to show us.”

“There’s another campus over at Dulles if we have the time.” I respond. “That’s where all the awesome ships are.”

“Let’s try and make time for it.” Sol adds.

“Where should we meet her?” Starlight asks.

“Capitol Hill I suppose.”

When we reach Capitol Hill, gunmen stand armed on the steps since assumably, Congress is in session.

As we take seats under the shade of a tree, we wait for a few minutes before a very bright and cheerful woman embraces Sol and Selena tightly.

I smile and prepare to shake her hand as she goes down the line, ending with me, to where she shakes my hand so much, I get giddy. Her excitement is contagious, and palpably so. Before she made it to the White House, she used to be under the care of Sol and Selena, only a few years after Cadance had gone off to Uni. She’d spend her summers and holidays here, as her parents were businesspeople in Boston.

Now maintaining permanent residence over here, it was Sol and Selena who helped her find a place to settle by letting her stay with them throughout the entire home buying process. In exchange for living there, Skystar was to keep the house clean, since Sol and Selena themselves were busy in their own careers.

When she produces the visitor passes for the house and senate, she is one short, unsurprisingly. Assuring her no hard feelings, I let her take the others on tour while I head for Air & Space, because no matter how many times I come here, I never get bored of it.

After I head out of the museum, I get a status report from Glimglam.

“We’re just out of the Senate. We’re on a Capitol tour now.”

“No problem. Just let me know when you’re done.”

I’m half-tempted to have everybody meet at the Udvar-Hazy center, but that wouldn’t be very nice of me. Instead, I find a smoking area. Not expecting them for at least another half hour, I run one stick dry.

I get up and walk around the National Mall (you know, for the daily activity) before I get another text from Starlight.

“We’re done. Skystar also has the rest of the afternoon off, so she’ll be joining us for the afternoon.”

“Yay! I’m in front of the Museum of Natural History.”

Deciding to be stealthy, I begin another stick. I’m not going to deplete this one for quite a while, so until then, I can enjoy it while I can.

About 15 minutes later, I find them heading my way, so I put the stick away and meet them.

“Hey! How was it?”

“It was very nice. I love the intricacy of the artwork in the rotunda.” Princess Celestia says.

“Likewise I enjoyed the historical connection. Being imprisoned in the moon for a thousand years unfortunately means I was not exactly present for the founding of thy country.” Princess Luna adds.

“Glad you enjoyed it,” Skystar beams. “What would you like to do now?”

“I just came from Air & Space.” I respond.

“Of course, from our resident pilot! Have you been to the Udvar-Hazy Center?”

“It’s been a long time. I’d love to go, but it’s not a big deal.”

“Are you kidding? We should go!”

“Something for tomorrow then?”

“Sure.” Selena replies.

Eventually, we find ourselves at Shake Shack.

Eyeing the royals to see what they’ll get, I decide to head to Oyamel for my obligatory grasshopper tacos, despite Sol wanting to go tonight. To her I say,

“I’ll just have grasshopper tacos twice!”

“Okay. If you like them that much.”

“It’s the only place I can get them.”

“Very well then. We’ll be here.”

“Order an extra drink though.”

“Will do.”

With that, I head a few blocks out and order six Chapulines tacos. With a thanks and hefty salivation, I head back to Shake Shack to join the others, who surprised me with a Diet Coke.

As we dig in, I notice Luna and Celestia eyeing my tacos intently.

“Want some?” I ask.

“What are those?” Celestia asks.

“Grasshoppers.”

“Yes please!”

“Here.” I say taking a taco out. “Anyone who wants to try.”

“You eat locusts here?” Starlight asks.

“In some cultures, it’s a delicacy.“

“As it is in Equestria as well.” Luna adds as she receives the taco from her sister. She takes a couple out rather than biting into the tortilla.

Immediately, she coughs.

“So salty.” She says as she goes for her drink. “I like them though.”

The others all give it a try, with none objecting but instead equally critical of the saltiness as Luna.

Celestia, in exchange for a taco, offers a portion of her burger that she oh so carefully sliced.

When we finish, I top off with Grape Fanta instead then wash the meal down with a couple cups of water.

Since we’re in the area, we head for the Archives to see the Declaration and Constitution. Skystar channels her inner docent and walks us through everything she knows about them, to the awe of the Equestrians, who intently read all the informational bits on these legal documents on which the country was founded.

Following that, we soak up some sun at the Navy Memorial before Skystar decides to map out the next places to go. Unfortunately, due to limitations on flow, even a private tour with White House staff cannot go through, as they have reached their peak for today.

Since we’re a few hours from sunset, we decide to explore the war memorials where we first met. From there, we can head out of the city.

As we walk through WWII, I stop for Bataan specifically, since it was there that I lost my great-grandfather.

Through Vietnam, I run my fingers along the wall, passing over various names, but no one I can say I know.

With just enough time to avoid evening peak, we stay here for a little while before we head to Oyamel for dinner. I don’t deviate from my lunch except to get Horchata to drink.

Once our food comes, we dig in slowly as Skystar is talking to Sol about her work. Starlight then says to me,

“I hope we get to talking about their hire flight. I don’t want you to feel like you wasted your time.”

“It’s not a waste, but I hope so too. I need to know so I can prepare my equipment and such.”

“Max,” Selena then says to me, “we’ll do Hawaii.”

“Where do you want to start?”

“Hawaii.”

“Alrighty. Are all of you going?”

“I’m not. I’ve got a busy workweek coming up. Plus, I’m going to Boston to see my mom.”

“Nice.”

“Would you like to rent a car from me?”

“No, no. We’ll just rent on the island.”

“Okay. I’ll have an airplane ready when you want it.”

“Day after tomorrow okay?”

“No problem. I’m checking out and returning my rental that day anyway.”

“Okay.”

Next morning, I head for the Hazy center to time my arrival with their opening. I roll in and grab one of the best spots on the lot, with the others rolling up in two cars.

I pay for everyone’s parking (admission is free) and hold back all my restraint to not go full on “kid in a candy store” as I excitedly soak in the place, since it’s been a really long time since I’ve been here.

The others stay close to me for obvious reasons, but to the confusion of Starlight and Sol, I’m here purely to take in the scene rather than take any pictures.

“Do you want me to take your picture with any of these planes?” Starlight asks, giggling. “Your excitement is showing.”

“No thanks, I’m good. I’m just glad to be here. Plus, even with my phone, pictures just don’t do justice.”

“I see.”

Passing the SR-71 that starred as Jetfire in Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen, I admire the other aircraft on display here. Of the greatest significance to me are the following:

Boeing 367-80, predecessor to the 707 jet, Boeing’s first jet ever produced.

A Concorde, formerly operated by Air France, registration F-BVFA.

Space Shuttle Discovery, who brought the Hubble Space Telescope into space.

Enola Gay, the Boeing B-29 Superfortress that dropped Little Boy on Hiroshima.

FedEx’s very first aircraft, a Dassault Falcon 20 named Wendy.

When we head outside to admire some of the warbirds, my heavy breathing shows up, which worries Sol.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” I chuckle, “I’m just venting my excitement. Since it’s been so long, I’ve forgotten how incredible being here makes me feel. I feel kind of weird for it though.”

“Why is that weird?”

“I’m a grown adult. I have to show some restraint lest I look unprofessional.”

She chuckles. “Haha! Max, I speak as a client, you’re not on the clock. If it helps, just relax. I’m sure you’re a great pilot, but you don’t need to prove you’re a professional until we board for Hawaii.”

“Trust me, and I mean this in the best way possible, you don’t want to see me like that. I become a boy trapped in a man’s body.”

We both share a laugh as the others return, not having spent a whole lot of time apart.

“Not interested in anything here, huh?” I say to them.

“Unfortunately no. The only things that fly in Equestria are winged creatures and Cloudsdale.”

“Probably a good thing there aren’t any airplanes or such there.”

“Most pegasi I imagine would push to have them banned anyway.” Celestia ponders.

“The Friendship Express would too. They would be afraid they’d get driven out of business.” Luna adds.

“Well, I’ll tell you what, if the opportunity to take an airplane to Equestria existed, I’d use it as a house. A houseplane if you will.”

Celestia smiles and nods.

“Thank you for joining me.” I tell the others as we make our way out. “I appreciate your time.”

“Of course, Max! I look forward to flying with you.” Celestia responds delighted.

“Beg pardon, but aren’t you alicorns?”

“Yes?” Celestia responds, half-knowing what I’m about to ask.

“At the risk of sounding rude, why would you be excited to fly on an airplane?”

“The answer is simple: we’ll be flying not of our own power.”

“Oh,” I answer as if the obvious slugged me in gut, “I’m sorry for sounding rude. I’m sure that if I go to Equestria, I would understand.”

“Not to worry, my little friend.” Celestia smiles.

“Well, I’ve seen everything I need to here. We can do whatever you want now.”

“We’ve still got lots of time,” Skystar says, “do you want to go to the Inner Harbor?”

“I’m game.” I respond. “Though I oughta go to the bathroom.”

“It’ll take at least an hour, plus rush if there will be any. Good call.” Skystar says as she follows suit.

“I’m sure the beltway will be pretty bad,” I say.

“It’s not the beltway that’s bad, it’s what happens inside the beltway.” She winks.

“Shift. Happens.” I say deadpan as possible, which makes her laugh.

“I know, I deal with it daily.”

We both share a hearty laugh at that.

10 minutes later, I’m out, but since I beat Skystar, I head for the gift shop, with Luna and Sol following behind me.

Ultimately finding some interesting things but electing not to make any purchases, I join the others.

“Alrighty. I have room for 1, or 2 or 3 if you don’t have any legs.”

“What do you mean?” Starlight asks.

“I’m in a convertible.”

“Oh, right.“

“Anyone gonna ride with me?”

No takers.

“Alrighty. I’ll follow you.”

Making note of the two cars, I note the make, model, color, and plates, because that’s what my brain is wired to do.

Once we’re settled onto the beltway, I quickly get bored of all the trees off the side of the road, because as my Marylander friends say, “every road in Maryland looks the same,” even I-95.

When we leave DC behind, I turn up my music and prepare for a difficult stretch ahead. Traffic is approaching prime rush, so any lane changes and turns may be a challenge.

Checking the weather, not a cloud in sight; I wait until the next red light, which would be at our off ramp, check to see that the roof is unobstructed, then as soon as it’s stopped, I quickly put her in park and press the latch button. The sound of whirring electric motors now largely dictates my heartbeat as the roof folds up, then ever so slowly goes down.

I keep the latch held down through the process. Just as the roof disappears from the rear view mirror, providing an unobstructed view of the car behind me, traffic starts to move.

I keep it held down even as the car in front of me inches up. Not 3 long seconds later, the chime and message of “top down” illuminate, and immediately, I put it back in gear and give it a burst of throttle to quickly close the gap, to prevent any rogue driver from cutting me off.

As we roll into the city of Baltimore, the not-unusually derelict M&T Bank Stadium lights provide a nice beacon as we make for the Inner Harbor. The unusually-lit Camden Yards must have a game happening tonight, since there’s quite a crowd around it.

Because of the large throngs of crowds going to the game, we wait quite a while for our next turn, onto Pratt, right next to the Baltimore Convention Center.

As soon as we break free, we pass plenty of “no game parking” signage on the way to the densely-crowded lot for the Inner Harbor.

When I pay for my parking, I find a spot far from the others, so once I put the top back up, I join them and follow Sol and Skystar. I’ve been here once before, and I was under the guidance of a very die-hard Baltimorean, so I never really got a chance to explore the place myself.

After going through a few shops and such, we find ourselves hungry for dinner, so after a verbal consent, we head for dinner at Fogo de Chão.

By meal’s end, I’m halfway comatose but beyond satisfied. With nothing else to do, we head back to the entrance and discuss the plan.

“My flight back to Chicago leaves at 5:45, so I’ll get back to Chicago at around 7. From there, I’ll try and get into Dulles, since that airport doesn’t require strict paperwork, we’ll board, and be on our way to Kailua-Kona.”

“This is where we leave you then.” Skystar says.

“Yeah.”

“Can I have a hug?”

“Of course!” I smile, happy to oblige.

She hugs me tightly and says, “Ooh! Let’s exchange numbers before I forget!”

“Welcome to the club. You can join my client list.”

“I’d be happy to!”

Once exchanged, she sends me the text of “Skystar”, to which I reply “Scimitar. Split Scimitar. Just call me Max.”

With that, I exchange hugs with everyone else, give a tentative departure timeframe of “8 or 9 am” and head back to the Ritz.

Awake at 3 am, checked out before 4. Once the rental is returned, I check my boarding pass and go through security. I’m one of the first people at the gate. The pilots are doing their preflight, so I smile and watch them at work.

When the gate agent arrives, he boots up the desk and changes the matrix message from the previous flight at this gate, which was to Newark.

As it’s before sunrise, I let out a few straggle yawns before the gate area becomes saturated. Soon enough, the gate agent makes the first announcement of the morning,

“Attention in the terminal, those of you traveling on United flight 1268 with service to Chicago, we will begin boarding here soon. All ticketed and confirmed passengers please report to gate 10 for an on-time departure.”

When we begin boarding, first class gets called, and to my absolute and utter surprise, I’m the only one who walks forward.

“Welcome aboard, Mr. Scimitar.”

When I reach the boarding door, I settle into seat 1B and place my bag overhead. The steward in first class asks if he can help, to which I decline, but ultimately he adjusts my bag for easy claim when we alight.

After I sit down, the other passengers follow in closely behind. After about 9 or 10 other passengers, no more come down the jetway.

“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard United Airlines flight 1268, heading up to Chicago. If you would find your seats and find a space for your bags, we’ll be underway shortly. Good news for all of you, including our active crew, there are only 15 people on the manifest. This means that at present, everyone going to Chicago is now on the plane. However, we still encourage you to find your seats and get situated quickly so we can beat Chicago’s morning rush. I hope that you will find some overhead bin space, because if you can’t, you have too many items.”

A few of us, myself included, chuckle. Mostly because I’m pretty sure I have the least amount of things, since my duffel bag is all I brought and I can’t make any assumptions about other passengers’ checked bags.

Soon after, the ramp agent double checks the manifest and after verifying all aboard, the door closes, baggage handlers load and shout as the airplane is loaded, and once everyone is seated, I get excited.

I’m the only passenger in first class.

Gonna be Absconding

Once back on the ‘L’ back to Spire, I return to Gusty Garden and prep a ship I’ve been wanting to use for a while.

The Boeing 767-400ER is a unique piece of aviation. Only 38 examples were produced. All but one remained with American airlines. Ironically, none of those American airlines were American Airlines. Continental, now United, operated 16. Delta operated another 21. The sole remaining example, which was Boeing’s prototype and testbed for the project, is in the hands of the Bahraini government, used for VIP transport. Maybe one day I’ll acquire the Bahraini ship, but for now, I’m more than happy with 37 of the 38 examples that exist.

Today, N76055 has been dispatched. An OG Continental ship, thence to United, a founding member of Star Alliance. My passengers literally moved the sun and moon, succeeded by a monarch of a shining star. It’s only appropriate that I use the ship that wears the colors of Star Alliance. (Maybe SkyTeam would’ve worked better, since Continental was a member of that alliance before the merger.)

Since I’m close to Dulles, I can take my time getting out of here. So, once the ship is ready, I brush my teeth and head back into Chicago so I can enjoy a nice relaxing day in the city ahead of the upcoming charter.

Once my reservation for a few hours on stand is confirmed at Dulles, I file the flight plan.

KSMG WHETT J30 LUISE EMNEM MGW.GIBBZ3 KIAD

On file, I push back and get started, setting takeoff flaps to 5 as this is literally an empty leg. In fact, the entire trip will basically be an empty leg. Five passengers, their bags, and no car onboard? Our payload is literally at the most 900 lbs. Why am I not using anything smaller and possibly more economical? Princesses Celestia and Luna are by and large the most elite clients I have on file.

“Chicago departure, Boeing 76055, IFR to Dulles.”

“Boeing 76055, Chicago departure. Full route clearance, advise when ready to copy.”

“Wilco, 76055.”

I taxi to runway 29, as the winds favor it. Once lined up and waiting, I call back.

“Chicago departure, Boeing 76055, ready to copy.”

“Boeing 76055, cleared to Dulles airport via CADIZ J64 WHETT J30 TRIXY. Climb and maintain 9,000. Departure this frequency, squawk 7643, clearance void 5 minutes from now.”

“Cleared to Dulles via CADIZ, Juliet-6-4, WHETT, Juliet-3-0, TRIXY; climb and maintain 9,000, departure 132.5, squawk 7643, void in 5 minutes, Boeing 76055.”

“Boeing 76055, readback correct. Talk to you on the go.”

“76055.”

Power set, airspeed alive, gauges in the green.

80 knots.

V1

Rotate.

V2

Positive rate, gear up.

Flaps up.

“Chicago departure, Boeing 76055 off Gusty Garden, 1,400 for 9,000.”

“Boeing 76055, Chicago departure, good to see ya, radar contact 3 miles northwest Gusty Garden. Turn left heading 080, climb and maintain 9,000.”

“Position checks, 080, 9,000, 76055.”

Having set off before the sunrise, I reach cruise between astronomical and nautical twilight, evidenced by the slightest illuminations ahead compared to the blackness behind me. I feel like the Statue of Freedom, the statue on top of the Capitol dome, who faces East, so that America always faces the rising sun.

“Boeing 76055, proceed direct TRIXY, maintain 180 knots, contact Dulles tower now, 134.425.”

“Direct TRIXY, 180 knots, Dulles Tower on 134.425, Boeing 76055.” “Dulles tower, Boeing 76055, 2 miles west of TRIXY, 2,000.”

“Boeing 76055, Dulles Tower, can you accept runway 12? Winds variable at 6 knots from 340 to 030.”

“We can accept runway 12, and we have it in sight, 76055.”

“Boeing 76055, cleared visual runway 12, expect landing clearance in 5 miles.”

“Cleared visual runway 12, Boeing 76055.”

“N76055, say parking?”

“Jet Aviation, 76055.”

“Roger.”

Runway in sight, set flaps 5. We’ll shoot the approach even though we’re on the visual. Primary aid I-AJU localizer on 109.3, approach course inbound 121°, 10,501’ of runway available, TDZE 310’, airport elevation 312’. From TRIXY. We should be virtually on course. Hold the brief, we’ve captured the glideslope. Commence the approach.

Below VLO, landing gear down.

3 green down and locked.

Flaps 15. Airspeed 160.

Glideslope to ILS minima of 510 and 1800 RVR, 160 knots for now. Approach speed of 150. Touchdown at 145 for tailwind component.

Flaps 20, 3 miles from final approach fix.

Flaps 25, 1 mile from final approach fix. Speed 150.

Final approach fix. “Boeing 055, runway 12, cleared to land.”

“Cleared to land 12, 76055.”

Flaps 30.

Approach profile stable. Runway in sight.

50.

40.

30.

20.

10.

Touchdown. Spoilers up, brakes on, 2 in reverse.

45 knots, disengage reverse thrust.

“Boeing 055, left Q4, hold short taxiway Y.”

“Q4, short of Y, 76055.”

“Actually, amend taxi clearance, left on Y, hold short Y1.”

“Left Y, short of Y1, 76055.”

Making the hard left turn onto Y, I decide to coast slowly to admire the early United departures getting ready to board.

“Boeing 76055, once short of Y1, contact Jet Aviation on 122.95 so they can figure out how to park you.”

“Unicom short of Y1, 76055.”

Once stopped short of Y1, I quickly run through the after landing checklist again to make sure the flaps and spoilers are up and the transponder is set to VFR (1200).

“Jet Aviation Unicom, Boeing 76055.”

“Boeing 76055,” the call comes in a few moments later, “go ahead and shut your engines down, we’ll tow you.”

“Roger, shutting down here.”

Soon a tug comes out and hitches up. We maintain communication for wing walking and to forward my requests to dispatch.

3 hours on the ramp.

A literal ton of fuel (2000 lbs)

Ground Power Unit.

By the time I’m parked, a lineman is grounding the aircraft and I’m heading inside to check in. I then ask for a courtesy car, to which they give me a Corolla, asking for it to be refilled, reimbursing for the cost of the fill up.

At the petrol station, I create a group text with Sol, Selena and Starlight.

“Hello, I’d like to be in the air by 9 am so that we arrive in Hawaii before dinner time.”

Not expecting any responses, I soon finish the fill up, get a receipt, and head for their house. Though with only a couple hours until sunrise, I don’t expect anyone to be ready.

I buzz the intercom and one of the Suns answers,

“Who is it?”

“It’s Max.”

“Good morning Max! Come on in!”

A knock on the door is met by Celestia, who smiles at me with a large suitcase in hand. I offer to take it, to which she says to load it in Sol’s car. Following her instructions as she unlocks it, I load it in gently, with Sol following with a similar case.

A few minutes later, Starlight appears with her duffel and plunks hers into the backseat of my car. Luna and Selena are a little slow to get out the door, so I take advantage and ask to use the bathroom.

Once I’m out, the two Moons have Selena’s car loaded, and we head back to Dulles, suitcases and duffels in tow. The keys back to the desk, I then pay for jet fuel and other fees before we head planeside. Now the fun of boarding begins.

Since it’s too much of a pain to open the baggage doors, and more when we unload in Kailua-Kona, Sol, Selena and I carry the others’ suitcases and place them in the floor space in the first rows of the main cabin. In those rows, there’s so much legroom, we can lay them wheels down.

After everyone gets settled, I give them a personal welcome using the PA of course.

“Ladies [and gentlemen], the boarding door has been closed. Welcome aboard our flight today. We are aboard a Boeing 767-400ER with service to Kailua-Kona on the Big Island of Hawai’i. Currently, weather there is about 74°, clear skies, and non-atypical trade winds, expecting about mid to upper 80s by the time we land over there. Expected travel time is about 10 hours and 10 minutes. For those of you who are curious, our expected route of flight is across most of the southern states, leaving the mainland at Mission Bay, over the city of San Diego. Please direct your attention to the screens in front of you for a demonstration of the safety features of this aircraft.”

I then play the video and let them watch as I quickly run over some last-minute checks. Per our slotted departure time, we’re outside of a flow window, so if we can get a good taxi clearance, we’ll be okay. Other checks include PIREPs and other textual weather reports updated as accurately as my app will provide. No outstanding systems except for stuff brewing in the South Pacific, but well outside the area of flight.

When the video finishes, I wrap up my speech with, “once again, ladies, 10 hours 10 to Kailua-Kona, any questions can be directed to me. We do request that all seats be upright and tray tables stowed until I approve, which should be about 5 to 10 minutes after takeoff. Thank you for choosing me, welcome aboard.”

I head to the cockpit and get settled for the journey. This will be my longest flight since I took Mario, Luigi, and their families to Australia.

KIAD CLTCH3.MAULS Q40 ALEAN Q66 LIT ADM SPS J166 TCS J65 PXR J18 MZB FICKY R578 FAPIS PUMIC UPP.VECKI9 PHKO

“Dulles clearance, Sunbutt 1111, IFR to Kailua-Kona.”

“Sunbutt 1111, cleared to Kona airport via the Capital One departure, then as filed. Climb and maintain 3,000. Expect 12,000 on course. Departure frequency 120.45, squawk 0345.”

“Cleared to Kona via the Capital One, then as filed, climb and maintain 3,000, expect 12,000 on course. Washington Departure 120.45, squawk 0345, say our first fix on Capital One, Sunbutt 1111.”

“Sunbutt 1111, readback correct, you can expect radar vectors for now, departing traffic off Manassas.”

“Roger, Capital One, Radar vectors, Sunbutt 1111.”

“Sunbutt 1111, roger. Contact ground .9, the ATIS is Zulu.”

“Sunbutt 1111.”

Initiate engine start procedure.

2 alight and stable. Temps, pressures good.

Set flaps 15 for takeoff, even though this is basically an empty leg.

“Dulles airport information Zulu, 1342Z. Wind variable at 5, visibility 10, Sky condition few 10,000, ceiling broken 13,000, overcast 15,000. Temperature 11, dewpoint 7, altimeter 30.29. Visual runway 19L, ILS runway 19C and ILS runway 19R in use. Landing and departing runway 19L, runway 19C, and runway 19R. All VFR aircraft contact clearance delivery prior to taxi. All aircraft read back runway hold short instructions. Advise on initial contact with information Zulu.”

“Dulles ground, Sunbutt 1111, Z, taxi.”

“Sunbutt 1111, Dulles ground. Runway 19C, taxi via Z2 Z. Upon reaching the hold short, contact clearance delivery for a reroute.”

“Z2 Z, 19C, then back to clearance, Sunbutt 1111.”

Throttling up, I turn off the APU and gently taxi out, wary of clipping any other planes on the ramp. Being on the north side of the field, I reach the hold short line in less than 2 minutes.

“Ground, Sunbutt 1111 going to clearance.”

“Sunbutt 1111. Roger.”

“Clearance, Sunbutt 1111, reroute.”

“Sunbutt 1111, new departure frequency 126.65, expect radar vectors, then direct Casanova, then FANPO, then as filed.”

“126.65, radar vectors, Casanova, FANPO, then as filed, Sunbutt 1111.”

“Sunbutt 1111, readback correct. Good flight.”

“1111, thanks for the help.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Dulles Tower, Sunbutt 1111, short of 19C at Z, ready.”

“United 345, runway 19C from Y1, line up and wait. Pending IFR release.”

“Line up and wait 19C, United 345.”

“Sunbutt 1111, Dulles Tower, hold short runway 19C, IFR release. Traffic holding in position, and you’ll be following them all the way to Hawaii.”

“Short of 19C, Sunbutt 1111, but we’re going to Kona, not Honolulu.”

“United 345, runway 19C, cleared for takeoff. Aloha.”

“Cleared for takeoff 19C, aloha, United 345.”

As they spool up, I watch in subdued excitement as they begin rolling.

“Sunbutt 1111, runway 19C, line up and wait.”

“Line up and wait 19C, Sunbutt 1111.”

“United 345, contact departure.”

“Switching, United 345.”

“Sunbutt 1111, departing traffic off Manassas. Caution wake turbulence departed United 767. Runway 19C, cleared for takeoff. Aloha.”

“Roger Manassas, cleared for takeoff 19C, Sunbutt 1111.”

Power set, airspeed alive, gauges in the green.

80 knots.

V1

Rotate.

V2

Positive rate, gear up.

Flaps up.

“Sunbutt 1111, contact departure.”

“Over to departure, Sunbutt 1111.” “Potomac departure, Sunbutt 1111 off Dulles, 2,500 for 12,000. Manassas traffic in sight.”

“Sunbutt 1111, Potomac departure, radar contact 3 miles south of Dulles. Turn right direct Casanova. Traffic off Manassas no longer a factor.”

“Right direct Casanova, position checks, Sunbutt 1111.”

“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard once again.” I call from the flight deck. “We’d like to extend a warm welcome to those joining us from global partners, fellow members of the Star Alliance, and our platinum, gold, and silver tier members. Use of electronics are now approved as long as they are in the game or airplane mode. This aircraft is equipped with complimentary WiFi. Select “N76055” and follow the on-screen instructions. We’re expecting a pretty smooth flight with the exception of the Mountain region, but usually turbulence there isn’t uncommon. I’ll provide some periodic updates as seen fit. We expect the seatbelt sign to come off in about 10 more minutes. If you need to use the bathroom, please do be careful. That’s all I have for now, so please sit back, relax, and enjoy this morning’s flight.”

As we continue climbing, I smile and crack open a bottle of water. Knowing we have plenty of steam for the remainder of the climb, I decide to preserve some of it by lowering our rate of climb a few hundred feet per minute.

When we reach cruise, landing and taxi lights off, wing/pulse lights off, cruise thrust, altitude, course set; seatbelt sign off.

“Ladies and gentlemen, from the flight deck, we’ve just reached our cruising altitude of 36,000 feet. Once again, no anomalies to report weather-wise. The cockpit door is open if you’d like. You are now free to move about the cabin.”

About five minutes after we reach cruise, Luna walks in.

“May we enter?”

“Please.” I say removing an earpiece.

Taking a gentle step forward, I watch her so she doesn’t trip or kick anything. Once settled, I say,

“Don’t bother belting up. We’re at cruising altitude anyway.”

“Very well, Captain Scimitar.”

“You don’t have to call me that.”

“But we will!” She exclaims a little too loudly, even without a headset.

She then retracts and apologizes for her outburst, to which I laugh.

“I’m glad you‘re enjoying this experience. This is as close to flying as I can get.”

“Hast thou ever been to Equestria before?”

“No.”

“Wouldst thou?”

“Sure. I would love to see what species I’d be, even if it doesn’t exactly fit my namesake.”

Luna chuckles. “There actually is a reason for me being here.”

“Oh?”

“Yes. See, my sister and I have been going back and forth about what we want to do, and so far all we’ve gotten is no where but mad at each other.”

“I see. I recall this occurring prior to now. Pray tell.” I say trying to match her vernacular.

“You see, in Equestria my sister and I toured our land before we retired. Everything was going perfectly. And then, slowly, it didn’t. My sister loves outdoorsy, extreme, sporty, and otherwise active activities. I however prefer to rest, relax, and sit back. As you saw at Sol and Selena’s residence, that still prevails.”

“I assume taking it in turns was attempted?”

“Sadly, yes. Unfortunately, Celestia took advantage of the system and took multiple turns sequentially, and then said I was hogging my turn when it actually was. Regretfully, we both stormed off, but we made up later, after Twilight was having trouble with the amulet we gave her that allowed her to raise the moon and the sun.”

I chuckle knowing that Twilight would have some trouble with that. “Well, unfortunately, if you were to ask me…”

“Sunbutt 1111, contact Memphis center on 124.275.”

“24.27, Sunbutt 1111.” “Memphis, Sunbutt 1111 level at FL360.”

“Sunbutt 1111, Memphis Center, Roger.”

“Did you just say ‘Sunbutt?’” Luna asks indignantly.

“Yes. Yes I did.”

“Ha-Ha! The fun has been doubled!”

“Glad you like it.” I say resisting the urge not to sound smug.

Luna then yawns. “Well, I shall return to keep you company soon. For now, I think I’m going to turn in.”

“Sleep well, Princess.”

“Thank you.”

“Sunbutt 1111, traffic 12 o’clock, 3 miles, FL340, same direction, similar destination, Boeing 767.”

“In sight, Sunbutt 1111.”

“Sunbutt 1111, roger. Looks like you’ll follow them all the way to the 50th [state.]”

“United 345, traffic 6 o’clock, 3 miles, FL360, same direction, similar destination, Boeing 767.”

“In sight, United 345.”

“United 345, roger. Looks like you’ll have company across the ocean.

“Oh wait, disregard. United 345, your route is Phoenix, J65, Palmdale, DINTY, R576. Sunbutt 1111, your route is Phoenix, J18, Mission Bay, FICKY, R578.“

“We’ll be together to Phoenix then.” I reply.

“Hello Max.” Celestia says as she gracefully climbs into the seat.

“How do you adjust this?”

“There’s a small set of buttons down by the seat cushion.”

“Found it,” she says as she moves it back a couple inches to accommodate her legs. “I love feeling the wind beneath my wings as an alicorn,” she then continues, “but this just feels so much more thrilling.”

“We’re a couple miles higher than you would assumably fly, going for sure a lot faster even by comparison, and we’re at the mercy of the jet stream, which is kind enough to allow us to overfly San Diego.”

“Do you have any recommendations for us? I mean, you are our resident Hawaii expert.”

“For the big island, I can’t say I have anything special, since I never really spent much time there. I’m a Maui and Oahu kind of person. That said, I’m sure you can find a lot of recommendations from my wife. Admittedly, while there are plenty of activities to do, most of my favorite things to do in Hawaii are eat at my favorite restaurants and take walks on the beach.”

“That sounds lovely. What kinds of activities can you recommend?”

“Parasailing, scuba diving, zip lining, hiking galore.”

“Zip line?” She perks up.

“Yeah. One of my favorite places to zip line is on Oahu. The big island is more for people who like scenic drives and secluded nature. Unfortunately, for that reason, the excessive tourism and people who have no experience driving off the beaten path is essentially destroying ground the natives consider sacred.”

“Aw, how sad. I only wish I could enjoy the same activities my sister enjoys, and her mine.”

“I caught wind of it before I grabbed this plane. Care to elaborate?”

“When my sister and I took a vacation to tour Equestria, we were supposed to alternate doing what we liked. Unfortunately, all the activities Luna liked to do were so boring I was either dreading her next turn or being put to sleep anyway.”

“Have you ever considered her sentiment towards your inclinations or her own? I don’t mean to pry or be prude. I just hate seeing friends, sisters no less, fight over something so… silly.”

“It was more than a squabble.“ She sighs. “I just hope that this time around, we can have the experience we hoped we would in Equestria.”

“I’ll do my best, ma’am.”

“Can I stay here awhile? I’m really enjoying it here.”

“I don’t have a problem with it, just don’t touch any dials. It might throw us off course.”

“Well, we wouldn’t want that.”

“No we wouldn’t.”

When we reach Fort Worth ARTCC, Celestia asks how the airplane flies itself, so I explain the autopilot to her and how it’s connected to the GPS. I then explain how GPS works, which surprises her.

“Your world seems so connected, and yet the way your inhabitants interact with each other betrays that sense of connectivity.”

“Indeed it is. You ask why that is, I could give you answers every which way from Sunday, but there‘s no wrong way to answer it.”

“Unfortunately. I’ve been to this world before, but I must say, I do appreciate some of the ways society has changed from last I visited.”

“Is that so?”

“For one, you on the surface seem to be much more accepting of outsiders and those different from oneself.”

“Only on the surface. And not all are like that.”

“No society is without outliers.”

“Yet they’re the ones that do all the screeching, and thanks to the magic of the internet, we’re all believing that extreme events are the norm, since social media is built on a lie rooted in what can only be described as ‘an addiction to positive reinforcement.’”

“Hmm, very insightful.”

“What can I say? Sometimes, quiet fortitude and over-analysis has its own magic to it. Even though it seems to do more harm than good.”

“Not necessarily. The points you bring up offer valuable insight into the inner workings of your mind.”

“Not exactly something you’d like to hear about the pilot of your plane.”

“Oh, I’m not worried. I’m very confident that you know what you’re capable of and apply it appropriately, at least from what I can ascertain.”

“Coming from you ma’am, that means a lot.”

When we leave the mainland behind, I enter ETOPS mode, which is basically the preparedness of having long distances between alternate airports should a diversion become necessary. As the WiFi is still operative, I text Rosalina,

“Hey, just so you know, I’m with Luna, Celestia and Starlight heading to the Big Island. If you want to meet up, just let me know.”

A few minutes after the text delivers, I’m joined by both monarchs again, Luna in the right seat as Celestia takes the jumpseat.

“Hello. Enjoying the view of nothing but blue?”

“Actually yes.” Luna says. “Would it be alright if we stayed here to watch the landing?”

“I don’t mind. Landing is my favorite part of flight anyway.”

“Why’s that?”

“Two reasons, 1. I like the challenge compared to a takeoff, and 2. A good landing can make or break a flight. I strive to make my landings as smooth and soft as possible, except if the situation is dire enough to require a firm or even hard landing.”

“Please explain.”

“I need a runway to stop as this aircraft is not capable of redirecting its thrust upward like you can with your wings. Sometimes, a situation such as gusty winds, high crosswinds, length of usable runway, and condition of the landing surface can affect the necessity of a specific type of landing. A wet runway requires a firmer landing than a dry one, otherwise hydroplaning could occur. A shorter runway also requires a firmer landing because if more weight is pressed down on the gear, the greater the effectiveness of braking will be. When it comes to gusts, sometimes you can land soft, but most of the time, that could compromise the stability of the approach. You know that feeling of flying sideways if you have a side wind?”

“Yes?”

“Well, landing one of these things is quite an adventure, because if the crosswind is high enough, the awkward landing of one gear at a time could cause a wingtip strike. Similarly, if you land awkwardly or incorrectly, excessive side loading could damage the airframe.”

“Flying in this world then isn’t all that different from our world.” Celestia says smiling.

“No, but it has its own set of challenges.”

“Sunbutt 1111, descend and maintain 9,000. Upon reaching 9,000, descend via the VECKI Nine arrival.”

“9,000, thence via the VECKI Nine, Sunbutt 1111.”

As I program the autopilot, I set a descent rate of 2000 feet per minute to keep the totals rounded.

Once I resume GPS autopilot control, I set airspeed to 170 in anticipation for the direct intercept of the localizer path.

“Sunbutt 1111, report established on the localizer.”

“Will report established, Sunbutt 1111.”

“Ladies and gentlemen, as we begin our descent into Kailua-Kona, we ask that you return to your seats and fasten your seatbelts. Please lower aisle armrests and stow all loose cabin belongings for landing at this time, thank you.”

Seatbelt sign on. Landing, taxi, pulse lights on.

Flaps 5 below 250 knots.

Below 230 knots, flaps 15.

Localizer alive, verified, no anomalies to report.

Below 200 knots, flaps 20.

The airplane disengages heading and switches to nav for localizer tracking. Set heading to runway heading, speed set at 160.

“Sunbutt 1111 established.”

“Sunbutt 1111, roger. Radar service terminated, contact Kona tower on 120.3.”

“120.3, thanks for the help, Sunbutt 1111. Shoots.”

“My pleasure.”

“Kona tower, Sunbutt 1111, inside of TAMMI, ILS 17.” Lower landing gear.

“Sunbutt 1111, Kona tower, Aloha E Komo Mai, runway 17, cleared to land.”

“Cleared to land 17, mahalo, Sunbutt 1111.”

Below 180, flaps 25.

Three green, down and locked. Speed 150.

Below 170, flaps 30.

Before landing checklist.
Gear down.
Flaps full.
Speed 140.
Spoilers armed.
Brakes, set to 1.
Before landing checklist complete.

1000.

500.

200.

100.

50.

40.

30.

20.

10.

Touchdown. Spoilers up, brakes on, 2 in reverse.

40 knots, disengage reverse thrust.

“Nice landing!” Celestia and Luna say clapping.

“Sunbutt 1111, left C, pull straight ahead into the south ramp, ground is .9.”

“C, south ramp, ground .9, Sunbutt 1111.”

A lineman directs us to park, with some difficulty because of the wingspan. Eventually, we shut down and check in.

Sol claims the rental and adds Selena as a second driver. The car is a Wrangler (no surprise) and ask me to navigate. Poor Starlight sitting in the middle is being crushed by the others, so I rent a Wrangler of my own. Starlight and only Starlight rides with me just to get out of the middle seat, and once we’re ready to go, we head for my house on the big island.

After a few tries to enter the gate code, we park and get settled. Three days tops according to the clients, so once we all congregate in the dining room, I get a weird feeling of déjà vu but ignore it as I help the “tetrarchs” map out our journey.

“If you want to circumnavigate the island more or less,” I begin, “we can do that. I haven’t actually done it in its entirety, since the main perimeter highway as it were was closed for a really long time due to the continuous lava flow from Kilauea. Now that Kilauea has officially stopped erupting, the road should be back to normal, if you could call it that. Of course, some of the road is probably buried under multiple layers of lava and rock, and I’d have to review the okay zones for the rentals, but as far as I know, all but maybe a few roads are permissible. Let me check.”

A few minutes later, after checking, I report back to the others.

“Okay, there are three places we can’t drive, and all for good reason. One, the path between Mauna Kea’s visitor center and the observatory. The road is unimproved and extremely dangerous in inclement weather. Two, South Point Road, also forbidden due to the condition of the road, which is also unimproved, and the risk of wildlife strikes is too high. Lastly, the path to the Waipio Valley. It’s only accessible to 4WD vehicles, but because everyone who rents a 4WD wants to see the area, it’s too much of a liability by virtue of capacity and reckless/careless drivers. South Point, or Ka Lae, is the southernmost point in the United States, even more than Key West. Since the road ends a few miles from very challenging terrain, with steep cliffs that drop straight into the ocean, that area at least is for only the most seasoned and experienced drivers. If you want to see the volcanoes, that’s a whole-day affair. Waipio Valley? It is one of the nicest views here because it’s so secluded and protected. Hawaiian Kings also used to reside there, which adds to its allure.”

“Despite that,” Selena says, “we still have the remaining 99% of the island to explore.”

“We shall go where you take us.” Celestia responds. “This is our second real visit to this world, and I would be remiss not to say that this is the first time we’ve really ventured into it.”

“And I,” I add, “can’t not mention this because I’d rather establish the ground rules than wait until the fact.”

“Don’t worry,” Sol says. “Now that we know where we can’t go, where should we start?”

“Well, let’s stay in Kona since it’s already almost dinner time. Tomorrow, do you want to see the volcanoes, or drive to Hilo?”

“I thought we were going to circumnavigate the island.” Luna says.

“We will, but in order for me to determine the best path, do you want to see the towns or the volcanoes?”

“Isn’t it obvious that we should just see the towns?” Selena adds. “If we’re going to see volcanoes, those would be all-day affairs, right?”

“I suppose so. Since we have rentals though, we can’t go beyond visitor’s centers or off paved roads.”

“I think it would still behoove us,” Celestia interjects, “to see the island itself.”

“Alrighty. Let me make some calls. If fate has it our way, I can arrange a private heli tour for us.”

To a Little [Big] Island Trotting

“Hello?”

“Hey, I know this is really short notice, but can you make space for a private charter on my tab? Celestia and Luna are here, along with a few friends. Can we reserve a full ship for a few hours?”

“I can make the space. What day do you want to go up?”

“Day after tomorrow okay?”

“Should be. Let me see if we have ships available.”

A few moments later, she says, “okay. I can fit you in. Where do you want to go and what time do you want to depart?”

“Uh, Waipio, the areas that were affected by Kīlauea. Pretty much a slight modification to the volcanoes tour.”

“Okay. Let me plan the cross-country and get you an estimate. Check back in a half-hour or so?”

“Yeah. We’re circumnavigating the island tomorrow. Should we go clockwise?”

“Probably better. That way at the end of the day, you’re at least around Kona when the sun goes down.”

“Yeah. I would say to go counterclockwise to keep the sun out of view.”

“But if you want to be close to home, and if Celestia or Luna want to see the nightlife, Kona’s more for the urbanite.”

“Fair enough. I’m at their mercy, so I don’t know when we’ll be leaving, but go ahead and plan. You want to meet for dinner?”

“Why not? Where are you thinking?”

“I need to plan that with the others. I should have word by the time you call, or we can go over everything at dinner.”

“Okay. Talk to you soon.”

“Okay, bye.

“Alright. Good news,” I then say to everyone. “We might have a tour available, we’ll know in an hour or so. Since Rosalina is certificated, she can fly us personally. With all of us, we take one helicopter, so if we can, we’ll have at least one day taken care of.”

“I hope we can. Flying is fun when it’s not under your own power!” Luna exclaims.

“Well, if my wife can meet us for dinner, we can discuss the trip. What kind of food do you want?”

“Twilight did tell us about a food she liked when she was last here.” Celestia says immediately.

“There were two, one was steak, and the other Chicago pizza. I imagine she spoke highly of the latter, but the former isn’t as difficult to find. I’m already wearing the uniform. Do you have fancy dress?”

“I do.” Starlight says as she heads for her room to change.

“Can we go like this?” Sol asks as she gestures toward her outfit of blazer and chinos.

“I don’t have a problem with it. The place I’m thinking of doesn’t have a strict dress code. Just no ripped clothes, hats, loose/baggy clothing, etc.”

“That’s why I brought these.” Starlight says as she returns with a pair of jeans in a slightly lighter color than the ones she had on, and not ripped.

“Good call.” I say as she also takes her beanie off.

The two remaining resident equestrians then emerge donning polo shirts.

“If you’re ready, we can go.”

When we arrive at the steakhouse, we’re seated almost immediately. I give the keys to Starlight and decide to splurge on some drinks before Rosalina arrives.

When she does, we all share hugs and get formally acquainted with the equestrians. She then sits next to me and begins discussing the flight with me before relaying it to the others.

The seven of us take one whole helicopter, and with plenty of time and fuel allowances, we can visit all sides of the island as we see fit. And yes, my house has a helipad, so we can request the ship for a day, since we’re kind of in a low-traffic time period.

With that, we plan the trip over a steak dinner, sharing plenty of laughs and stories for the night.

Next morning, I beat the sunrise and get ready to go road tripping. Before we leave, we stop at a petrol station to top off and buy some travel snacks. I opt out of snacks themselves since I’m trying to watch my salt intake, so I just add water. And because it’s me, thanks to Rarity’s influence, I have both sparkling and still water, because I don’t know which one I’ll prefer.

Once stocked and ready to go, Starlight takes my iPad and keeps maps handy as we set off for our little island drive.

Most of the island’s traffic is in the neighborhood of Kona and Captain Cook. We’ll be there tonight, so maybe some stop and go will be good for me at least.

Setting course for Hilo, we pass the turnout for Waipio. Since I’m not doing a tour like I did in Chicago, I’m just a means to make sure our suns and moons don’t get lost.

Since we passed Waipio and bypassed Upolu Point, it’s worth saying that we’re basically just driving from Kona to Hilo, using the major highway. The reason is so that I can get reacquainted and the others can see the big island from the ground, since we’ll be seeing some of it from the air tomorrow.

The town of Honokaa is too close to warrant a stop, but we do make note of it on the route. From there though, I decide to hold a cruising speed of 65 since no one else is on the road with us.

Suddenly, a yellow Jeep overtakes us. There’s Rosalina booming her way down the road.

“All traffic halted,” I say as she brakes hard for a red light.

“That car has guts.” Starlight quips.

“That car is my wife.”

“How do you know?”

“License plate, and I’m also pretty certain she’s the only one who has a Wrangler fitted with all the equipment it does. Full spec.”

“I see. Well, let’s hope she joins us at our next stop.”

Our next stop for my sake is the town of Laupāhoehoe for the train museum, and because we have a bit of time. My appreciation for Hawaiian railroads dates back to my first trip to Maui, where we rode on a restored train on the old line. A few years after that trip, the company went under and the line was overtaken by vegetation. The line was rescued by a local businessman who is currently restoring the full line for the sake of “one of Maui’s most recognizable attractions.”

Here on the big island, the story ends long before I ever came to be. The railroad certainly wasn’t the first on the big island, but one of the most prolific. In 1946, much of the line and some of the trains themselves were swept away in a powerful tsunami. Most of the old line has been superseded by the highways, and the museum is located in the house of the railway superintendent.

As a gesture of solidarity for a fellow railroad enthusiast, I drop a couple hundred anonymously but leave the note “from one sugar cane railroad enthusiast to another.”

We make haste in the parking lot, but Rosalina leads us the rest of the way into Hilo.

Hilo is much more local-oriented, compared to Kona which is more tourist/family. Rosalina shows us to her favorite restaurant in town and puts her name down.

After we place food and drink orders, Celestia and Luna start talking about what activities they want to do, so after we get our food, I get lists from each of the princesses of what they want to do. I’ve never done anything this severe in terms of sheer activity, so they’ve got me beat. Except in eating, where I always win.

After Rosalina and I both review their lists, we make a big decision.

“Alright, since the four of you want to do things in sequence, Rosalina and I will have to split up your activity doing. I assume the day after the helicopter ride, we can take it in turns to do what each of you like. However, for some activities, I cannot join you.”

“What? Why not?” Luna responds indignantly.

“I specialize in certain doings, such as eating and scenic drives. Rosalina is more equipped to outdoorsy and physical activities.”

“Art thou afraid of injuring thyself?”

“No. I‘m just not a fan.

“Though for you, I’ll see what I can do if it makes you feel better.”

“Mr. Scimitar, thou needn’t worry about people’s perceptions of thyself. I personally don’t enjoy such activities.”

“So you understand my plight?”

“Yes, but… the point is we’re doing said activities together.”

Predicting her response from a mile away, I concede defeat and say, “I take it you’ll want me with you. I’ll join then if it means that much to you.”

“Thank you Mr. Scimitar.”

“Please, call me Max.”

“I’m sorry. Even after all my years readjusting to modern society, I still slip into ye olde Englische. Titles come automatically as well.”

“I understand.”

“Max,” Sol then says, “if our visitors want to summit one of the volcanoes, can you bring one of your cars?”

“If you want me to. I can make a trip home and grab a few off-roaders.”

“It‘ll save you the cost of rental too.”

“Tell you what? How about I run home and grab a couple of them. You can do activities as you see fit. If you want to island hop, I can grab a smaller aircraft.”

“Actually, we can leave from here. I’m sure there are other places on the mainland we can visit.”

“Alright then, I’ll leave tonight. Anyone want to come with?”

“You know what? I think a red eye flight will be nice.” Selena says. “Luna, would you like to do a flight through the night?”

“I appreciate the offer, but I couldn’t leave my sister behind.”

“Then I’ll stay as well.”

“Alright then.” I say. “I don’t mind going alone.”

After we finish the meal, Rosalina shows us around Hilo and introduces the first activity for us, Kaumana Caves. While not cave diving as Celestia would’ve liked, the nice walk is still a nice warmup for us as we check out the beauty of nature through secondary succession as the flora that grow from lava flourish in these areas protected from the sun and wildlife.

There are 25 miles of cave to explore, and because of Celestia’s eagerness to see it all, we cover just over half of it before the clock strikes 14:00, even though some portions of the cave are on private property. Happily though, I’m glad to have gotten my cardio in, but Celestia craves more excitement, seeing as how she got a landowner to allow us to explore the cave on their land.

Even though the best time to see the place is early morning, we then backtrack and head to Rainbow Falls. Here, we relax and admire the beauty of the falls before Celestia rallies us to a spot out of bounds to get a clearer view of the refracted light projections.

We spend a bit of time here, but because of the pool below, Celestia can’t jump in the water. There’s no way to get out.

When we return to Hilo town center, I restock on water, exclusively still this time. We still have a few hours before sunset, so at Rosalina’s lead, we head for the Ka Lae turnoff, but take our time.

Leilani Estates was arguably the most affected by the Kīlauea lava flows, with the most displaced residents. As a result, the law states that only people who knew residents, and especially those displaced, can enter the area. As such, we remain clear, but Rosalina communicates it as such by turning on her hazard lights. Starlight and I look over towards the town, but quickly get back up to speed when a couple of cars catch up to us on the road.

As the road dead ends at a beach, we U-turn at the beach parking lot and head back to the main highway.

As we drive over roads that have very inconsistent paint markings and conditions, more or less consistent with pyroclastic flows, we take our time yet again as Rosalina leads us down to Ka Lae turnoff. The road is forbidden by our rental contracts, so pointing it out will have to do. If they want to drive it, we can when I return with cars of my own.

We continue quickly now that the sun is in our faces for the bottom of the island. Here, the area is almost entirely residential. No real towns to stop and take in, and no petrol stations for about 100 miles or so. I can drive economically, as can Rosalina. I have plenty of water, I don’t need to snack on anything, and with the rolling scenery of the big island, we press on.

Thankful the road bends and contours with the terrain rather than a long and continuous straight, I keep engaged and completely unable to consider falling asleep at the wheel. Of course, I don’t have that kind of trouble unless I go more than 36 hours without proper sleep, but nevertheless, Starlight seems to enjoy the ride.

When we pass the next town, Kēōkea, Rosalina starts driving a little slower on average.

“Hello?” Starlight answers her phone.

“Um, I don’t think so. I’m okay right now.

She then peers over to see how the others are.

“The others look fine.

“Max, Rosalina wants to talk to you.”

“Hello?” I call when she puts her phone on speaker.

“Hey, you want to stop at Manini?”

“Why not?”

“Okay. Follow me.”

“Alrighty.”

“Ok bye.”

“Yay. I’ll get to get sand between my toes again.

“You alright, Starlight?” I then ask. “You’ve been awfully quiet this leg.”

“Yeah. I’m fine. I’m just not much of a talker. I know Princess Twilight wants me to become a little more comfortable with these situations, but I’ve never been able to like start a conversation.”

“You know, I’m the same way. I don’t like starting a conversation, but I’m more than happy to chip in when I can and continue it if necessary.”

“I’m not going to lie, I’m kind of surprised. You seem to always have a lot going on in your head. Surely you have something to offer most of the time.”

“I don’t like diving into conversations. “‘Tis better to be silent and thought a fool than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.”

“Classic. Haven’t heard that one before.” Starlight chuckles.

“Did Twilight use that on you?”

“Not on me.”

“Well then.” I say perfectly timed to when we park. “I need to stand up, stretch, and get some sand in my toes, and probably my feet wet too.”

I set up camp with a towel, but Luna sets a foldable lounge chair next to me. Laying it out and getting comfortable, I place my things down next to her and head for the water, joining Starlight, who is getting her feet wet, and Rosalina, who is going for a full swim.

After a few minutes under water, Rosalina asks me to get her towel, but she only dries off her hair.

“If only I had my surfboard.” I say. “Though there’s a reason it sits in Honolulu.”

“Yeah, this isn’t really a surfing beach.”

“No, but it does make me wish I had it so I could use it. It has been a while.”

“Hmm.” She agrees. “How are you telling Celestia from… Celestia?”

“I’m calling the Celestia you know ‘Sol’ and her sister ‘Selena.’”

“Aren’t they royalty? You could get away with calling them ‘Princess’. A lot of Mushroom people called me that.”

“They called you ‘Princess Rosalina’?”

“Yes.”

“I feel like I knew that. Though I don’t ever remember you ever saying so.”

“I never did.”

“Well then. You learn something new every day, don’t you?”

“Yes indeed.” She says as she towels off the rest of her body.

“Surprise!” Celestia exclaims as she shakes off excess water on the both of us.

I shut my eyes to keep out seawater but half-chuckle as Celestia feigns embarrassment.

“You enjoy swimming in the ocean?”

“Can we go diving?” Celestia nods.

“Sure!” Rosalina says.

“Ooh, we should do a night dive!” I exclaim.

“How about tomorrow night after the helicopter ride?”

“Yes! Let’s do it.”

“I’ll book it when we get home. You wanna make our special dinner for our guests?”

My face lights up, and she smiles, knowing that’s all she needs to see.

“Costco closes in 2 1/2 hours. Then I can leave and get the off-roaders for Mauna Kea. By the way, which ones should we use?”

“What did you give Fluttershy’s group?”

“Q5’s. I probably won’t use them for this, even though it would be a plush ride for the royalty.”

“If you’re going for plush, use the Q7 at least.”

“It is Mauna Kea we’re gonna trek with.”

“It’s not that rough. You could get by with almost any 4WD.”

“I’ll probably just grab a Land Rover.”

“You only need one. We can use mine, but you have to drive.”

“Good enough for me.”

When Luna and Selena finish packing up, we stop by Rosalina’s so I can pick up a couple things that need to go back to California. Then, with a “see you tomorrow” and a “rest well” - even though I’ll be flying all night, we head home, and after I take a shower and brush my teeth, basically getting ready for bed, I head out and file a flight plan back to VCV.

When I get to the airport, I request a ground power unit so I can preflight. All lights check, fuel is as I ordered. No anomalies, just waiting for my flight plan to process.

After about 5 minutes, the flight plan is on file, so once I get the engines started with the help of the GPU, I get the engine temps and pressures into operating range before I do the flight control check.

Set flaps 15. “Kona clearance, Boeing 76055, IFR to Victorville.”

“Boeing 76055, cleared to Victorville airport via as filed. Maintain 9,000. HCF departure frequency 126.0, squawk 2412.”

“Cleared to Victorville as filed, 9,000 on departure, Honolulu control 126.0, squawk 2412, 76055.”

“Boeing 055, readback correct. Ground .9. The ATIS is Sierra.”

“76055.”

“Kona Airport Information Sierra, 0755Z, wind 150 at 5. Visibility 10. Sky clear below 12,000. Temperature 22, dewpoint 16, altimeter 30.09. ILS runway 17 and visual runway 17 in use. Landing and departing runway 17. VFR aircraft say direction of flight. All VFR aircraft contact clearance delivery prior to taxi. Read back all runway hold short instructions. Advise on initial contact, you have information Sierra.”

“Kona ground, Boeing 76055, Sierra, taxi.”

“Boeing 76055, Kona ground, runway 17, taxi via A.”

“A to 17, Boeing 76055.”

Taxi light on. North on taxiway A to runway 17.

“Kona tower, Boeing 76055, north on A, will be ready upon reaching.”

“Boeing 76055, Kona tower, roger. Expect takeoff clearance shortly. IFR release.”

“Roger, 76055.”

Making the left turn to the hold-short line, I turn on the landing and pulse lights, waiting for the strobes for the takeoff clearance.

“Boeing 76055, runway 17, cleared for takeoff.”

“Cleared for takeoff runway 17, Boeing 76055.”

Strobes on, autopilot armed. Lined up on centerline.

Takeoff thrust set. Airspeed alive. Gauges in the green.

80 knots.

V1

Rotate.

V2

Positive rate, gear up.

Flaps up.

“Boeing 055, turn right heading 340, contact HCF departure. Good night.”

“Over to departure, Boeing 76055, g’night!” “Honolulu departure, Boeing 76055, off Onizuka, 2,200 climbing 9,000, turning heading 340.”

“Boeing 76055, Honolulu departure, radar contact. Proceed direct Upolu Point, climb and maintain 9,000.”

“Direct Upolu, 9,000, 76055.”

We’re Even Going to Fly

“Boeing 76055, radar service terminated, squawk VFR, change to advisory frequency approved. Enjoy your morning.”

“Change approved, 1200, same to you, 76055.”

Flaps 5, speed to 200.

Below 190, flaps 15.

Airport in sight, landing on runway 3 guaranteed, lower landing gear.

3 green down and locked, flaps 20.

5 miles, 45 degrees to final approach path. Flaps 25.

Flaps 30 lined up with final approach path.

1000.

Gear, down.
Flaps, 30.
Brakes, 2.
Spoilers, armed.

500.

200.

100.

50.

30.

20.

10.

Touchdown. Spoilers up, brakes on, 2 in reverse.

40 knots, disengage reverse thrust.

Filing the reverse order of my previous flight plan, I run to the garage and grab one of my Range Rovers. If I’m going to give them a smooth drive off the beaten path, I’ll trust Land Rover.

Loaded up, pushed back, and no complications except for some engine pressure issues, but are quickly resolved with I open the crossfeed valve for a few seconds. Once all temps look good, I taxi to runway 21.

“Victorville airport information Alpha, 1503Z, wind calm, visibility 10, sky clear below 12,000. Temperature 3, dewpoint -8, altimeter 30.24. All runways restricted access. Prior permission required. Advise on initial contact, you have information Alpha.”

Flaps 15 for takeoff. Autopilot armed, trim set for takeoff.

“Joshua departure, Boeing 76055, IFR to Kona.”

“Boeing 76055, Joshua departure, cleared to Kona as filed. Maintain 12,000. Departure this frequency, squawk 0313.”

“Cleared to Kona as filed, 12,000 on departure, 124.55, squawk 0313, 76055.”

“N055, readback correct, I trust you’ll be in the air soon, talk to you on the go.”

“Boeing 76055.”

Thrust set, airspeed alive gauges in the green.

80 knots.

V1

Rotate.

V2

Positive rate, gear up.

Flaps up.

“Joshua departure, Boeing 76055 off Victorville, 3.8 for 12,000.”

“Boeing 76055, Joshua departure, welcome. Turn left direct Paradise, climb and maintain 12,000.”

“Direct Paradise, 12,000, 76055.”

“Boeing 76055, runway 17, cleared to land.”

“Cleared to land 17, 76055.”

50.

40.

30.

20.

10.

Touchdown, spoilers up, brakes on, 2 in reverse.

“Boeing 055, continue to the end, left A, park in the South ramp.”

“A, South ramp, 76055.”

Parked, shut down, order fuel to full.

“Just landed,” I text the group. “Where are we meeting?”

Rosalina responds first. “Let’s meet at Sunshine,” following it with a maps location.

“We’ll be on our way soon.” Starlight responds assumably on their behalf.

“Someone call me when you get to Sunshine. I should probably catch up on some sleep.”

With that, I head inside, ask for a snooze room, and set an alarm for 45 minutes, just for average’s sake.

*Call from Selena*

“Hello?”

“RISE AND SHINE! THY PRESENCE IS REQUIRED AT SUNSHINE HELICOPTERS!”

“On the way.” I respond groggily.

After I fire up the Range Rover, I head over to the Sunshine parking lot and park next to Rosalina’s Jeep. I head in and do my best to not appear tired.

“Hello Max.” Sol greets.

“Good morning.” I reply with a little too much pep.

“Sleep well?”

“You could say.”

“How do you do it?” Starlight asks. “You haven’t slept since two nights ago, even with your hourlong power nap.”

“I used to love redeyes. I was basically nocturnal at some points in my career. In any case, I just hope I can make it to the manta dive tonight.”

“As do I.” Rosalina says as she emerges with a folder full of paperwork. “Go ahead and sign off in the usual places.”

I take care of the paperwork and after she files it away, she places some things on top of her desk and takes her logbook, cross-country flight plan form, and the aircraft logbook. With that, we head out to the ramp, and Rosalina for the sake of weight and balance has us sit where she needs us.

I’m sat in the middle front row, right next to Rosalina. Sol and Celestia go in the back with Luna and Selena, leaving Starlight on the outboard left seat. Rosalina hands me the forms she brought with her and asks me to note our engine start and liftoff time.

Once the engine’s started, I note the time in local and Zulu, which is relatively easy, since Hawaii is 10 hours behind GMT year-round.

“Sunshine traffic, Lady Boss departing for Waipio Valley northbound.”

She waits a few seconds to listen for company traffic reports before increasing the collective and getting established in ground effect before she sets takeoff and gets going.

“Okay, can everyone hear me okay?”

I respond with a Shaka as the others verbalize their concurrence.

“Okay, as we make our way to Waipio, let me get you acquainted with the area. Hawai’i, or the Big Island, is the southernmost and the youngest of the Hawaiian islands. It is also the most volcanically active, comprised of five separate volcanoes. Kohala is the northernmost one, and the only one that is extinct. Mauna Loa and Mauna Kea, the two largest volcanoes, are dormant, and both Hualālai and Kīlauea are considered active. The mountain on the highest alert stage is Mauna Loa. However, they’re only at the advisory stage and are no cause for worry. We’ll get back to the volcanoes at the end of the tour, but our first stop is the Waipio Valley. Meaning “curved water” in Hawaiian, the land was inhabited by kings and high chiefs in the early 15th century. Nowadays, its extremely secluded location combined with difficult access for even seasoned motorists makes it a beautiful place to see. We should reach the area shortly, which will give us a good opportunity to see how challenging the drive down is.”

When we arrive over the Waipio dirt road, I watch the crowds try to navigate it, to quite the chagrin.

“Here we are down the way to Waipio Valley. That road down there is the only way in or out. Non-4WD vehicles are forbidden, as the dirt road can vary in grade from 1 in 4 to 1 in 3. It’s definitely not a road to take an economy car in, and it is not for an inexperienced driver.

“Anyway,” Rosalina continues. “The views from down below are quite beautiful, having braved the crowds to see it myself. Talking to locals yielded me a warning about the road, and that if they could, they’d close the road to only tour buses, or something like that, just so that either the historical sanctity is preserved, or it keeps the road clear. Landslides are possible.”

The pilot in me quickly preoccupies itself by noting the times, both local and GMT, and calculating the leg time so I can compare the calculated fuel burn rate to the actual. I’ve never seen it off by more than 0.2 gallons per hour (GPH), and the burn right now compensating for the time hovering is spot on. Now we can head up to Upolu Point, since we missed that portion on the drive yesterday.

“This is Upolu Point. Formed from the last lava flows from Kohala before she went extinct. There are three towns built upon it: Halaula, Kapaau, and Hawi. The beach down at the east end of Halaula is Keokea, nestled within Kēōkea Bay. Kohala’s summit is the small one, peaking at 5,513 feet above sea level.

We don’t spend much time here, but after noting the times, Rosalina heads south towards Kona so she can talk about Hualālai.

“Our next stop is Hualālai, the westernmost volcano of the five, and the one that Kailua-Kona is built on. Hualālai’s last eruption was in the 1800’s, but still considered active as I mentioned before. The summit is a few thousand feet higher than Kohala, at 8,271 feet above sea level.”

She then hits the pilot isolate button so she can’t hear us, but knowing where we are, she’s talking to Kona tower.

“Hualālai lies just east of the Kona airport, the highest point that’s closest to us off our left side.” “Kona tower, Helicopter 572EX clear of the Class D, southbound.”

“Helicopter 572EX, roger. No known traffic south of the airfield. Frequency change approved, shoots.”

“Shoots, thanks for the help.” “Okay, let’s head south so we can see Kīlauea. Kīlauea is the youngest of the big island’s and in the entire Hawaiian archipelago. As such, or rather by coincidence, it is the most volcanically active within the Hawaiian chain and earned a name for itself during its last eruption, having been continuous over the course of about 35 years. Some of the newest lava flow covered roads and buried parts of Leilani Estates, which if you remember we stopped at to see on the drive. Because of the displaced residents and potential for tourist traffic to get up close and personal with the lava flows, entrance into the area is forbidden unless you are a resident or know one. Neither Max or I fit either criterion, so this is the best we can do. The area south of Hilo is pretty busy, so we may encounter some interruptions along the way. Last time I did a tour, most of the lava flow was obviously visible. That was a while ago, so it is possible some of the flow may have been overtaken by vegetation.”

“This Island is very beautiful,” Luna comments from the back.

“The power and beauty of Mother Nature that must be respected.” Celestia adds. “I can see some blackish land in the distance. Is that lava flow?”

“Yes it is. Of course, it did look a lot worse then than now, but if you can imagine, when Kīlauea had its last episode, it was a lot worse.”

“Lahars and pyroclastic flow do not mess around.” I add.

“No they don’t.” Rosalina continues.

Knowing I really need to keep my mouth shut - this is Rosalina’s tour, not mine - I keep timing our legs just to keep myself preoccupied. Problem is, because I’m so accustomed to doing it, I can do it in my sleep. I think it’s because of my desire to be punctual, so keeping my leg times to a T is a behavioral manifestation of one place where I can appropriately micromanage.

Nevertheless, as we get closer to the lava flow, Rosalina tunes both radio frequencies specifically for the high volume of helicopter tours in the area. Knowing she handles it like an absolute legend, seeing as she has quite a few years experience with it, I sit back and watch a master at work.

As we maneuver around the areas, I help Rosalina pinpoint the summit of Kīlauea, since it lies lower than any of the sister peaks, the highest of the various lava vents topping out at 4,091 feet MSL.

“Big Island traffic, Helicopter 572EX over Kīlauea, maneuvering inland towards Mauna Loa.”

“Mauna Loa is the largest volcano in the world above sea level, and second in overall height and prominence. Summiting at 13,679 feet, Mauna Loa is only 127 feet lower than Mauna Kea to the north, which we’ll be climbing tomorrow. Mauna Loa’s most recent eruption was in 1984, and since then has been relatively calm, though recently the alert status was bumped up to advisory due to a notable increase in seismic activity below the mountain. Interesting tidbit, if Mauna Loa was completely above water, it would rise about 1,000 feet higher than Mount Everest, breaking the 30,000 foot barrier.”

Rosalina then increases the collective to full and begins a vertical climb to try and rise above most of the lower landscapes, so as to preview or at least give an idea of the view from above.

“It’s worth noting that both Mauna Loa and Mauna Kea are nice spots to ski or snowboard from. The combination of volcanic glaciers, tropical sub climate down below, and the volcanic ash that when mixed with snow, creates a substance unlike any other. While I do encourage it at least once, any expeditions of the sort require some logistical planning, as there is no equipment available.

“Both mountains house observatories due to their strategic location above the atmospheric inversion layer, low levels of light pollution, and ease of monitoring due to low atmospheric radiation. Mauna Loa’s observatories specifically collect solar data.”

I smile at the affectionate nod to Celestia and Sol, to a lesser extent.

“Big Island traffic, Helicopter 572EX, southeast of Mauna Loa, vertical climb to 10,000.”

When we stop climbing, we all admire the sun at almost high noon over the island. Most of the area around us is unobscured. No clouds today, which is nice. The only things higher than us are the two summits, and they’re both covered in snow. The snow level right now is about 10,000 feet, so unfortunately, even this time of year isn’t the best for skiing or snowboarding.

“It’s beautiful from up here.” Sol says from the backseat.

“You’ve been very lucky to be able to take in views like this for all this time.” Selena adds.

“Actually, I haven’t been done any air work for a long time other than what I need to stay current as an airwoman. This is my second tour in the past handful of years.”

“We are honored to be at your command.” Luna says. “This has been quite an amazing experience.”

“Thank you. I’m glad to be able to show this to you. We’re just about halfway done; all I have left to show you is Hilo and Mauna Kea, then we can head back.

“The town of Hilo is located on old Mauna Loa lava flow, and as I’m sure my husband has said, is much more geared to the locals compared to Kona’s tourist/family feel. Personally, I love Hilo, but I’m glad we operate out of the Kona side for a number of reasons. As we experienced yesterday, including the railroad museum, most of Hilo’s town life is social, with all the bars and restaurants that dot the town. My first impression of Hilo was great, I hope it was for you as well. We’ll fly over Rainbow Falls so we can get a good view from the air before we head for Mauna Kea.”

“Hilo tower, Helicopter 572EX over the town of Mountain View, out of 8,200 descending, request Class D airspace transition. Overfly Rainbow Falls.”

“Helicopter 572EX, Hilo tower. Continue inbound, but remain clear of class D airspace for now. Have a couple IFR departures.”

“Remain clear of class D. Can we hold over the Mill?”

“Helicopter 572EX, affirm. Hold over the Olaa Sugar Mill at or below 2,500. As soon as those IFR departures are airborne, you can expect to transition via Rainbow Falls from the south to the northwest.”

“Hold over the sugar mill at or below 2,500, Helicopter 572EX.” “Okay, looks like we’ll be holding for a little bit. Let me see something really quick.”

I watch her change to the ADS-B screen, revealing two targets on the ground at Hilo airport. One is the obligatory Hawaiian 717, destination listed as Honolulu, and the other is a private jet, with a wonderful registration, destination John Wayne.

“Hawaiian 211, Hilo tower, runway 8, cleared for takeoff. Turn left heading 330.”

“Cleared for takeoff runway 8, heading 330, Hawaiian 211.”

“N824KB, runway 8, line up and wait.”

“Line up and wait runway 8, 824KB.”

“Helicopter 572EX, proceed direct Rainbow Falls, remain at or below 2,500.”

“Direct Rainbow Falls, at or below 2,500, Helicopter 572EX.”

24 seconds later, ATC calls, “N824KB, runway 8, cleared for takeoff, fly runway heading.”

“Cleared for takeoff runway 8, runway heading, 824KB.”

When their ADS-B target shows a change in altitude differential, I decide to scan for them. ATC then hands them off to HCF.

“N824KB, traffic a helicopter 6 o’clock, 5 miles, maneuvering around Rainbow Falls, should be no factor. Contact HCF departure. All the best.”

“Thank you, Mamba Out, 824KB.”

“Now that we’re back at Rainbow Falls, you can get some more pictures before we head to Mauna Kea.”

“Helicopter 572EX, no known traffic to the northwest of the field. Contact Hilo approach on 119.7.”

“119.7, 572EX.” “Hilo approach, Helicopter 572EX, over Rainbow Falls, 2,000.”

“Helicopter 572EX, Hilo approach, roger. Altitude restriction removed.”

“572EX, exiting the Hilo Class D airspace now, proceeding northwest-bound.”

“Helicopter 572EX, Roger. If you want to talk to them, HCF frequency 126.0. Frequency change approved, good day, shoots.”

“Change approved, thanks for the help, shoots, 572EX.”

After I enter another leg time, fuel burn goes a little off, by 0.3 GPH, but is consistent with the extra burn for the vertical climb at Mauna Loa.

“Okay, our final stop is Mauna Kea. Rising the highest of the five peaks on this island, barely beating out Mauna Loa by 117 feet, Mauna Kea is the tallest mountain the world, if the entire mountain was above water. Being the tallest mountain in Hawaii, along with the other mountaintops, they all are sacred to native Hawaiians for the belief that the gods resided there. As such, only ali’i - high ranking chiefs - could climb them. It is for those reasons that even today, the construction of the observatories, particularly the ones on Mauna Kea, are marred with controversy, as they were constructed on native sacred ground, that sacred ground being protected by a government treaty in addition to.”

It doesn’t take too long to reach our optimal viewing area, as we hover over it and climb a few hundred feet, which is my cue to note the leg time and fuel burn, this time more equal to the other legs. Happily, I calculate the total burn thus far and compare it with the dispatched amounts and find a differential of only a few dozen pounds so far. Fuel as a whole looks good with about 3 hours reserve.

We hover over here for about 20 minutes so everyone can take pictures. Having done plenty of ride-alongs with Rosalina, whether they’ve been check-flights, currency exercises, or even a surprise date, I’ve essentially seen it all. That’s not to say I don’t enjoy the time or experiences, I just don’t need photographs. Every time I think of it, it makes me laugh.

When we get the all clear, we head back to base, landing and shutting down with plenty of time until our night dive. I check in to claim to reservation early via the office computer, and once I print a receipt of confirmation, we head for lunch.

A couple hours later, after relaxing at Rosalina’s, we head for the diving center. When we arrive, another group is just coming in from the last daylight dive, and an advanced scuba group in their wake.

“Evening!” A docent calls. “Are you the party of seven under ‘Max’?”

“That’s us!” I call.

“Perfect! You’re our only group tonight, so we can take our time. Is this anyone’s first time?”

Celestia and Luna raise their hands.

“I also haven’t been in a while, but I’m scuba cert.”

“Not to worry. This is our only dive where no prior experience is required. It’s a very simple dive. We’ll head out to our usual spot, I’ll give some of you our lights so you can see. And it can help the rays find food too. Just be careful not to shine it in anyone’s faces for obvious reasons. These are Manta Rays, so they don’t sting, and are quite the gentle giant. That being said, please refrain from touching them, as they are very revered in the Hawaiian islands, as manta rays are believed to be an ‘amakua, a protective deity of a family.”

Once the boats are alighted, we head in for a short intro video on diving safety and additional information about manta rays. When we suit up, I check my tank and set a timer for 24 hours to avoid flying, lest we get decompression sickness, aka the bends.

Soon, we’re sailing out to our dive spot, and Celestia seems pretty excited. She’s one of three who have a lamp. The other two are me and Selena, since our docent wants one with experience, and Rosalina said I should anyway.

The rays should be out in pretty full force, since it’s right around feeding time. Since the rays feed on plankton, using the light is advantageous because once the plankton become visible, it’s game over. The rays will often swirl excitedly around light projections because it’s an area where a lot of visible plankton will gather.

When we reach our spot, the anchor dropped and all ready, I lead the charge behind the docent in jumping into the water.

As I recover from the customary backwards tumble, I turn the light on, with Celestia following suit. Selena then follows her, then Luna, followed by Starlight and finally Sol.

Once we’re all set, I decide to explore a little behind the immediate realm which goes against the docent’s rules, but okay for me because I have experience. Since I also have a light, I’m a literal beacon in case the others need to locate me.

As I scan around, taking the occasional peek to orient myself with the boat, I spot a ray moving towards the boat, probably seeing the other lights.

I illuminate the path ahead to see if it’ll feed, and it does, but it’s not enough to justify rolling around. Instead, I head back to the boat, where rapid movements of light give me the impression that they found a buffet.

Back at the boat, my lamp joins the projections of the others at the endless feast of plankton between us and the boat. Three other rays are already partaking, so when the fourth arrives, it would be wrong for me to say that we’re all taken aback. These beasts of nature, in their natural habitat, paying little mind to the humans below them. Sure, they’re much more preoccupied with feeding, but they don’t seem to notice us, aside from the fact that we’re literally putting their dinner in the spotlight.

After about an hour, the rays disperse but remain within a relatively small radius. Since manta rays are an ‘amakua, I ponder the question of mine, though I’m not native Hawaiian nor do I have any connections to any, at least that I know of.

Our dive lasts two hours, so when that time expires, we get called back to the boat and begin our ascent. My diving buddy is Rosalina by default, so the docent can help Celestia and Luna, since they’re the ones with the least experience among us.

When we breach the surface and shed all our equipment, Celestia sits back blissfully in contrast to Luna who seems more exhausted than satisfied.

When we return to the shore, we return our equipment, I tip our docent 30% since I’m pretty sure he got called in just for us, and head home for the night. The only things left on the list I have are driving to the Mauna Kea observatories and South Point. We have a Land Rover, and we have a Jeep. I think it’ll be fun.

Let’s Take Another Hill

Beating the sunrise by an hour or so, I hop into the bathroom and steam up, knowing that I’ll be fully awake after an extended shower.

When I emerge dressed in a dri-fit top, cargo shorts, crew socks, and newer trainers than my dailies, I don’t expect it, but if we do have to get dirty, and water gets in my shoes, I don’t mind it soaking through to my socks. Sometimes, if it’s hot enough, getting my feet wet helps me cool down.

Nevertheless, I’m dressed and packing two coolers with water. The Range Rover needs petrol, so we can buy some more travel snacks.

Rosalina, Starlight and I climb in to the Jeep after Sol fires up the Range Rover. Just so we’re out of Kona, I get gas at the only petrol station in Captain Cook.

When I top off both cars with high grade, I map out both drives and elect to go to South Point first. Now, the reason the road is forbidden by contracts is for wildlife and condition of the road. Specifically, where the road goes through. It cuts through farmland, and is often single track. One lane, bidirectional traffic, and wildlife grazing in farmland. That’s why I’m having us trek it in a Range Rover. Rosalina, having done the drive herself, still has me lead.

After testing the walkie talkies, we head for South Point. 2 hours’ drive, in the opposite direction of our circumnavigation.

Glad Sol can keep up with us, we reach the turnoff in just under 2 hours. As soon as we leave the road, I announce,

“Keep your eyes out for wildlife and other cars. We’re driving through macadamia nut farmland.”

With that, I put my foot down and scan intently across the road. While not all of it is paved, the path is still considerably beaten. The journey down to the end isn’t that long, but the road is quite a challenge.

When we officially leave the main highway behind, I lower my pace just in case the others fall behind. I imagine our visitors in both vehicles are taking in the scenery, so we can at least afford to take our time. The area is a popular grazing spot, so we could encounter a cow or horse, but nothing so far. From my experiences though, most of the time livestock tend to roam from the mid to late afternoon, and we’re driving through here at like almost 10:00.

After about 45 minutes of blazing in the trail, we can make out the end of the road, marked by a couple of cars parked in a small turnoff obviously meant for doubling back.

I slow down a little more and take the opportunity to take in South Point from a distance. Of course, it’s much prettier from the actual lookout point, and if we had more time, we could trek out beyond to the distant cliffsides, but I’d much rather head to the Mauna Kea observatories and admire the view from up there.

Eventually, we reach the last mile of road, and now I can see the people who came in the cars that beat us to the punch.

We pull in just as they both get into gear, so with a wave and Shaka, we park in the same way they do and breathe.

“Welcome to Ka Lae, the southernmost point in the United States.” I say as we all gather at the end of the turnout. “We made good time down here, so we can stay here for about an hour. I don’t want to go too far off the path, but there isn’t anything else down here other than the marker. The cliffs are steep and go straight down into the ocean, so please mind the edges.”

With that, we all kind of disperse and do our own thing. Celestia and Sol excitedly head for the cliff side so they can see the ocean, Luna and Selena read the information on the marker, Starlight follows the two suns but doesn’t join them, and Rosalina walks with me slowly to our little lookout point on a cliffside just on the other side of the marker.

“This place never fails to amaze me.” I say rhetorically.

“Likewise.”

Eventually, we make sure we can see the others. Both equestrians then return and ask if we can drive all the way down to the physical point, and so, we all pile back in and head onto the traced vehicle paths, paralleling the shoreline, but wary of the steep drop directly into ocean, not that the paths get close anyway, but still.

When we reach the physically marked Ka Lae, evidenced by a small crowd of cars down there, we park off to the side of the paths and take in the view. Beyond us is nothing but open ocean, and what a view it is.

“Remember the first time we came down here?” I ask. “When you still had the ~~Jazz~~ Fit?”

“Yes. That was quite the adventure in that car, especially for a date.”

“Indeed it was. It was probably a good thing you drove. As good a driver I may be, I probably would’ve damaged something.” I half-chuckle.

“Probably not. You would’ve handled it better than me.”

“Honestly, I think I would’ve been too eager to impress.”

“Maybe, but what matters is that we made quite a memory here.”

“Yeah we did.”

As the two of us watch the others take in the view, I make note of the time so I can get us going to Mauna Kea in time for the sunset. Out of respect for natives and in the spirit of the struggle and controversy, I have avoided trekking up there because as I mentioned earlier, the Mauna Kea observatories are built on sacred ground, that ground being protected by the National Historic Preservation Act. However, I can make an exception because we’re planning on watching a sunset, which thankfully is almost directly in time with a moonrise.

After about 20 minutes, the others slowly return after Rosalina and I recreate one of our first photos taken when we became a couple. Since she at the time was a transplant compared to me who was more familiar, she took a photo of me on the beach pointing out in different directions of where to go, as if I was using celestial navigation. It didn’t mean much at the time, and we were on a different island, but I guess this time, it means something different. In any case, I feel like a model again, even subconsciously flaring my chest a little bit to convey a false illusion of confidence and grandeur, but Celestia notices this and laughs as Rosalina takes the pictures.

After I give the photos my seal of approval, we rest down here just because none of us are hungry. However, I’m running low on water, so I check both cars for water and grab a bottle of San Pellegrino Chinotto, a favorite of Rosalina’s.

After I finish that bottle, we slowly make our way out, with Sol and Selena taking some more pictures as we head back to the main road. Since the quickest way to Mauna Kea is via Hilo, we plan to have lunch in town.

When we find parking, we enjoy a nice lunch and waffle a bit, though we didn’t have any to eat. Ideally, we want to time our arrival at the Mauna Kea visitor’s Center off-peak, that way we can do a bus tour before we do our own trek.

We spend some extra time exchanging stories, including one about their own misadventures in Equestria. Though they understand the other’s side, I still get the impression that even though they learned from it, history could still repeat itself. In a sense, old habits die hard, but they don’t mean it.

Nevertheless, we soon make our way back. With 3 hours until sunset, we should be able to do as we please and have some wiggle room.

With Selena and Rosalina at the reigns this time around, it becomes fun, as Selena not only keeps up better than her sister, she tails us.

“Sorry, my sister does this.” Sol then says over the radio as I pick up the pace.

“Better think fast then.” I respond.

Obviously Selena ignores my calls, as we both make our way into the interior valley with the Range Rover hot on our tail.

As we leave the town behind and the road turns rural, Rosalina picks up the pace, and in no time at all, we reach the Mauna Kea turnoff. The road is a long one as it does a fair bit of climbing on a paved road to the visitors center.

Of course, here we can learn about the volcano, talk to some docents, interact with some rudimentary exhibits, and embark on tours of the mountain. Here, I buy 7 tickets for the next available slot, and after one group departs, another one returns. It would seem natural to take the front seats, but instead, the others go for windows. Fortunately, we’re one of two parties onboard, and the happy couple decides to just take the front.

Rosalina sits next to me as we go up the mountain. Since we’ll be taking pretty much the same route, I make note of the general condition of the road using random divots and bends as a form of Braille. Naturally, I say to myself, “no match for the Jeep in 4HI, or the Range Rover in dirt mode.”

Sadly, as we begin the trek up, the bus takes it slow. Agonizingly slow. However, I barely make out the radio signal, “breakdown,” and I just sigh in defeat.

As I make note of the road condition anyway, I take a moment to see if the others are enjoying it here. Looks like they seem to be, even as the road though still paved is in fair/poor condition. Lucky we don’t necessarily have to go off-road, not that I want to anyway out of respect for the native land, even though I’d love to go off and explore, which is permissible, albeit at our own risk.

Since the bus doesn’t leave any roads, when we reach the observatories, we park at one of them, in fact the chosen vista point for Mauna Kea sunsets. The other bus is there, its driver assisting an old, steaming Volvo.

“Nice.”

“Beware of ice.” Our driver says as he opens the doors. “The outside air temperature here is 41°.” (5°C)

All nine of us then take in the view.

“This is gonna look so great when we’re here for the sunset.” I whisper to myself.

“This is the perfect place to stargaze!” Luna exclaims.

“That’s why the observatories were built.” The driver reaffirms her point. “Low light pollution, minimal atmospheric radiation, and dry air make the sky that much more visible astronomically.”

After about 15 minutes, the breakdown is still down, so our bus is used to take the other group down, effectively switching buses. Soon enough, after filling up the radiator with water and discarding what appears to be a broken fan belt, the car gets started and the obviously embarrassed family tips the driver for his help before making their way down the road.

The driver then greets us and opens his bus for boarding. Everyone except for me heads in immediately, as I take in the surroundings. Even in my outfit, I’m not cold, to the complete shock and awe of the others, who ask how I can survive. My answer? Midwestern blood.

When we return to the visitors center, we all use the bathroom and dispose of trash and whatnot before we begin our own trek.

“The hairpin section of the road is actually right by the highest summit. If I can do it properly, we can catch the sunset from the highest point in Hawaii.”

“Can you drive then?” Sol asks me. “I don’t trust myself with such an expensive car on that rocky surface.”

“That’s fine. Anyone want to switch to the Jeep if they don’t want to sit in the middle seat?”

“We can.” Selena vouches for her and her sister. “Gives you an opportunity to talk to the Equestrians.”

“I’m okay with that.”

After adjusting the seat to my position, I fire up the Range Rover and wait for Rosalina. As soon as she pulls up behind us, we head up the access road and for the sunset vista point. From there, we’ll venture off the path and find both the summit and any other places on the mountain to explore. The outside temperature is now 39°F/4°C, with traces of snow, but we’re cold enough where any permafrost should be accumulating.

When we reach the vista point, we stop and get ourselves ready. For Sol and Celestia, I take a picture of them since they see a good opportunity to get a proper Hawaiian sunset while the ball of sun is still visible.

When we leave the main road behind, I keep a map handy with terrain mode on so I can evaluate the potential for a drop-off if we get too close to an edge. The area around Mauna Kea’s highest summit drops right down to the hairpins along the access road, which would look catastrophic if we were in an accident. Fortunately for us, we keep our distance, staying on the North Face and exploring that summit by parking just off site and climbing up to it.

Lake Waiau, a small lake located on the flanks of the volcano is a miracle of nature. Because of the terrain, climate, and general conditions, it shouldn’t exist here but it does. I point it out but the others are too overtaken by the beauty of Hawaii’s highest point, being above most of the weather, literally looking down at a thick cloud layer below us.

“Doesn’t it feel nice to be above the weather?” I quip.

Starlight and Selena chuckle.

“I’ve seen some beautiful sunsets, especially in Canterlot,” Luna begins, “but this is something else.”

“I don’t think it’s fair to compare the phenomenon of an Equestrian sunset or sunrise, since this world does it all on its own.” Her sister responds. “Nevertheless, it is absolutely breathtaking.”

“I’m glad you like it.” I say as we all stand tall in various stances appropriate to the terrain, feeling like a small group of warriors looking ahead to what may face us, even though we’re facing the sunset.

To celebrate the final minutes of visible sun, we all bunch together and kind of huddle together, mostly for warmth, as right about now, the temperature should begin dropping rapidly.

We’re all pretty much standing atop the highest point in Hawaii and the Pacific region. Even though I haven’t known Celestia, Luna, Sol, or Selena for terribly long, somehow in this moment it feels we’ve been friends for a long time, evidenced by Celestia trying to pull us all in and give us a big group hug. If only she had a way to get us all encompassing and under her collective embrace.

Nevertheless, it’s safe to say our day is ending perfectly, seeing our group of seven, huddled together, standing strong against a picture perfect Hawaiian sunset, with the two off-roaders sitting in equally confident positions on the mountainside. At least, I imagine it looks picture perfect in my head.

Nobody is a Better Confidante

“Hello?” I answer completely overlooking the shock of having cell phone reception at this altitude.

“Hey, Max? Sunset Shimmer here. I just received an urgent message from Princess Twilight. She would like to have Princesses Celestia and Luna return to Equestria immediately.”

“I know it’s not my business, but what for?”

“I’m not sure yet, though it sounds urgent, even for Princess Twilight’s standards. I’m communicating with her as we speak.”

“I can get them home as quick as I can, but it won’t be fast. I’m in Hawaii right now, and getting them home means I have to long haul all the way back to DC. Please tell Twilight she’ll have to wait at least a whole ‘nother day. I’ll get us going as fast as we can, so you can catch me up gradually. Text me with updates.”

“Will do. Thanks Max. Sorry it’s such short notice.”

“No worries. I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Okay, bye.”

“I hate to spoil this picture perfect moment, but Princess Twilight by way of Sunset Shimmer requests your return to Equestria immediately.” I say to the Princesses.

“What for?” Luna asks equal parts disappointed and quizzical.

“Search me, but we’d better get going quickly.”

“I can take some time off too.” Rosalina says. “I haven’t been to DC in a long time.”

“You can stay with us!” Selena proclaims as we all scramble off the summit and into the cars.

When I fire up the Range Rover, a low temperature and “possible ice” notification pops up. Dismissing it though laughing at a “low temp/possible ice” in Hawaii of all places, we both race back to the observatories to get back to the access road. All tours have concluded for the day, so aside from those working at the telescopes, we’re the only ones on the road, which is handy, because as soon as we whiz by the visitors center, we’re panting down the road with every ounce of steam we have.

At long last, we catch the main highway. Even though I do want to get in the air ASAP, I can’t just keep my foot down. ‘T’wouldn’t be professional, see. So, contrary to most of my fantasies of gauntlet running against the clock à la Need For Speed, I keep in time with a Hawaiian style of driving with a little bit of above normal speed limit observances. I might call it tithing the speed limit, which reduces the 90-minute drive to 55. While we all pack our things, Rosalina then tells me to file and get the weather briefing while she packs her bag as well as mine.

PHKO PUMIC FAPIS R578 FICKY MZB J18 PXR J65 TCS J166 SPS ADM LIT Q66 ALEAN Q40 MOL DOCCS.DOCCS3 KIAD

Pretty much the reverse of the flight out here, this one should be much shorter with the aid of the jet stream. Our expected departure time is 21:45, so we have an hour and a half to get to the airport and get going.

I call the FBO and request the GPU, so once we’re all ready to go, we decide to grab some dinner to-go before we make for Onizuka.

When Rosalina parks, we load the boot then get the Land Rover across while the others use the bathroom and such. Without a cinch, I load the car and secure it.

In no time at all, the others are heading out to the air stairs, undoubtedly feeling like VIPs walking out to their private jet, and they are.

I then head inside, take care of all the last minute fees, then after I conduct a preflight, I get the APU started. With such a light payload, I ordered tanks to absolutely full to the brim. Running the APU should help trim off the topmost layer so we can be relatively lighter for takeoff.

Anyway, once I’m all situated in the cockpit, Rosalina is ready to go with a clipboard and pen ready so she can take care of the clearance. Since Kona doesn’t have CPDLC, our clearance has to be read back on frequency.

“Kona clearance, Moonlight 1000, IFR to Dulles.” She calls.

“Moonlight 1000, cleared to Dulles airport via Upolu Point - Uniform-Papa-Papa, then as filed. Climb and maintain 7,000. HCF departure frequency 126.0, squawk 0344.”

“Cleared to Dulles via Upolu Point, then as filed. Climb and maintain 7,000, departure 126.0, squawk 0344, Moonlight 1000.”

“Moonlight 1000, readback correct. Ground .9, the ATIS is Lima.”

“Moonlight 1000.”

I then check to make sure everything’s disconnected before closing and arming the boarding door, playing the safety video, and setting the cabin lights.

After the video concludes, I rebrief the whole return to Equestria situation, promising periodic updates as Sunset Shimmer makes them available.

Sol and Celestia already are reclined, so I ask them to upright themselves and wait until I give the okay, much to their disappointment, the latter actually giving me pouty eyes, to which I say, “sorry, ma’am, but that’s the legal requirement, and it’s for your own safety.”

When I return to the cockpit, Rosalina and I 2-crew.

The 2 engines alight and stable, she calls up ATC.

“Kona ground, Moonlight 1000, November, taxi.”

“Moonlight 1000, Kona ground. With the wind 260 at 5, would you like runway 35 or runway 17?”

Nodding as I hover my thumb over the push to talk, I respond, “we can take runway 35, Moonlight 1000.”

“Roger, runway 35, taxi via A.”

“A to runway 35, Moonlight 1000.”

Flaps, 15.
Trim, takeoff.
APU, off.
Controls, check.
Taxi, nav, beacon lights, on.
Autopilot, armed.
FMS, programmed.

“Moonlight 1000, contact Kona tower 120.3.”

“Over to tower, Moonlight 1000.” Rosalina responds. “Kona tower, Moonlight 1000 on A for runway 35.”

“Moonlight 1000, Kona tower, runway 35, line up and wait, pending IFR release.”

“Line up and wait 35, Moonlight 1000.”

Landing, pulse, strobes on.
Autothrottle, armed.

Line up and wait on 35, awaiting takeoff clearance.

As I look to the left of the airplane, the last rays of twilight disappear under the horizon, marking the end of the trip and the start of a long night to come.

“Moonlight 1000, runway 35, cleared for takeoff. Fly runway heading.”

“Runway heading, 35, cleared for takeoff, Moonlight 1000.”

Hands together, set takeoff thrust.

80 knots.

V1

Rotate.

V2

Positive rate, gear up.

Flaps up.

“Moonlight 1000, contact HCF departure, Aloha ‘ahiahi.”

“Over to Honolulu, good night, Moonlight 1000.” Rosalina responds. “Honolulu departure, Moonlight 1000 off Kona, 2,700 climbing 7,000.”

“Moonlight 1000, Honolulu departure, good evening. Turn right direct Upolu Point, then resume own navigation. Climb and maintain 17,000.”

“Direct Upolu, own nav, 17,000, Moonlight 1000.”

*ping*

“Ladies and gentlemen, once again, welcome aboard our flight this evening. We’d like to extend a special welcome to our silver, gold and platinum status members and to those joining us from partner airlines. We’re expecting a smooth flight through the night, so please sit back, relax, and enjoy this evening’s flight. In just a few minutes, we will open up the forward galley to self-service beverages and light snacks. If you absolutely need to use the lavatory, please exercise caution until the seatbelt sign has been turned off. Thank you.”

“I’m gonna sleep once we reach cruise.”

“No problem.”

“Good night dear.” Rosalina says as the throttles come back.

“Night, sleep well. Thanks for the help.”

As I monitor the airplane and keep the fuel totals page in plain view, we should land in Washington with enough fuel to get to Peotone, or if we wanted to run ourselves into our legal reserve requirements, Vegas or Phoenix, but not quite enough for a return journey to VCV. No matter, I can handle it just fine.

“Moonlight 1000, contact Pacific Center on 131.95 for your SELCAL.”

“31.95, Moonlight 1000, good night.” “Pacific Center, Moonlight 1000, level at FL370.”

“Moonlight 1000, Center, Roger, welcome. You’re one of four aircraft in the sector today. You mind running without HF radio?”

“No problem, Moonlight 1000.”

“Moonlight 1000, roger. Appreciate it.”

“Moonlight 1000, next reporting point is… FIZEL, estimated crossing 0826Z. No pertinent remarks at this time, it rides pretty smooth.”

“Moonlight 1000, roger.”

After I breathe a sigh of relief, I’m joined by Luna, evidenced by a slight articulation in her voice compared to Selena.

“May we join thee?”

“Please. Make yourself at home. Though please don’t touch anything.”

“Of course not. This is a intricately complex and extremely expensive machine.”

“Indeed it is.”

“Since it is just you and me, can we talk about your… nightmares?”

“Oh! Um, I mean, sure, but they were completely normal. I got disowned by my family. My own flesh and blood. There’s no underlying issue or issues.”

“No, no. I understand that completely, as do you apparently. Obviously your family had their reasons to do it, well-intentioned as they were, and admittedly I fell into a similar trap. But where yours came out of a mismatch between your career choice and family expectations, mine came because I was afraid of confronting my sister about the issue. Looking back, one of the biggest mistakes of my life was not tackling the issue of what eventually boiled down to a failure to communicate. My point is, I understand you and almost exactly where you come from.”

“Thank you Princess. I appreciate your understanding.”

“What kinds of nightmares did you experience?”

“Mostly the normal stuff of watching those around me alienate me, then over time, as I tried to maintain my status as a member of the family, the looks they gave me made it clearer by the day that I was no longer loved, then no longer liked, then no longer welcome. Eventually, they gave me a proper disownment without so much as a goodbye.”

“I’m sorry your family treated you like that.”

“It’s alright. I always kind of knew I would be treated differently by not going into the medical field, but I would’ve never expected them to actually go through with it, though I guess if I were them, I wouldn’t necessarily blame them for doing it.”

“What??!”

“At the risk of scaring you in the context of where we are, I… I… attempted suicide because I was sick of the differential treatment. For obvious reasons, I was on the short end of a double standard. Whenever I tried to confront my family on the issue, I was met with a “why are you complaining? You have no right to complain. You’re not going to be making any money. Money is the only thing that’ll make you happy.

She listens intently as I try to divide my attention between her and monitoring the airplane. “I’m sorry if I seem inattentive. It’s just second nature for me to keep my eyes peeled for even the slightest anomaly.”

“Max, far be it from me to judge based on an outsider’s perspective, but you did say that you would do the same thing if the roles were reversed. I’m not sure how that ties in.”

“I was getting there. I get it, to a fault. I didn’t necessarily expect them to react positively, as I said. If I were a parent and my child said they wanted to be a pilot, I would be equal parts shocked and surprised. I don’t get disappointed easily. My point overall is, in a roundabout way, I’m not surprised they reacted as such, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt. I had family laugh in my face when I told them I wanted to be a pilot. “That’s so preposterous!” “Why would you want to settle for a second choice?” “You’ll always be on strike.” “You’ll always be looking for work.” The insult to injury though is how fake they were when they decided to be somewhat supportive. Do you have any idea how much it peeves me to see those same people who spat on my career choice to suddenly 180 and brag to all their friends and family that “[I’m] going to be a pilot” as if they had supported me from day one!“

“Believe me Max,” Luna responds a little too calmly. “I know exactly how that feels. My sister is admittedly a poor reader of body language. I expected her to pick up on me showing that something was wrong, but she never took any initiative herself. And I expected her to. In hindsight, that may have been my fault. My sister is not a mind-reader. Even so, I know exactly how those feelings of betrayal are. It is quite infuriating to see people you know who spat on you previously claim to have supported you from the beginning, especially when you know they didn’t at all.”

“Aye.” I respond with a tip of the hat that isn’t on my head.

Luna chuckles at the gesture, since the hat is sitting on the shelf where all the old maps used to be kept.

“Do you mind if I stay here awhile? I’m very much a night owl.”

“Not at all. Thank you for listening. If it were anyone else, I would’ve just been called weak, since my trials were nothing compared to theirs.”

“It’s unfair to compare one’s trials and tribulations to another, even yours to mine. You have a right to complain as much as anybody else.“

“True as that may be, it seems like nobody understood me. Hell, of my suicide attempts, all but one of them were just from that feeling of being alone, and not for a lack of trying either.”

“I’ve been there as well.” She responds. “And I have to be honest, sometimes it was preferable to being with people.”

“I’m the same way. I will take every opportunity I can to be alone. As we so obviously can agree, that has a nasty tendency to backfire.”

“Indeed.”

With only the moon - a full moon - In The Air Tonight, I smile as I notice it for the first time, not diverging from the conversation between Luna and I. Our conversation goes on until we reach the mainland. When we return to the radar environment, Luna leaves to use the bathroom, then returns to her passenger seat, leaving me alone for the last cross-country portion.

“Dulles Tower, Moonlight 1000, visual 19R.”

“Moonlight 1000, Dulles Tower. No one behind you, runway 19R, cleared to land.”

“Cleared to land 19R, Moonlight 1000.”

50.

40.

30.

20.

10.

Touchdown. Spoilers up, brakes on, 2 in reverse.

35 knots, disengage reverse thrust.

“Moonlight 1000, left U4, cross runway 19C, then Y6 Y to Jet Aviation.”

“U4, cross 19C, Y6 Y to Jet Aviation, Moonlight 1000.”

“On behalf of your Southern California based captain and Hawaii-based first officer, we’d like to welcome you to Washington Dulles. Local time is 10:10 am, weather 48° with calm winds. Please wait until the aircraft has come to a complete stop and the seatbelt sign has been turned off. At that time, please use caution when opening overhead bins. Items may have shifted and may fall injuring you or someone else around you. As this is the termination of our flight, please do ensure you have all your personal belongings with you. It’s been a pleasure serving you, and we hope to see you again on a future flight. Once again, welcome to Dulles.”

Once parked and unloaded, I give everyone a hug, but then Luna specifically keeps in my embrace for longer as she whispers,

“Please come and visit us in Equestria. My sister and I would love to see you.”

“I hope I can someday.” I respond as we let go. “I’d be honored to visit you.”

Royally Served

“March Air Reserve Base has been sold. The US Air Force has sold the property as part of efforts to consolidate their operations to Edwards Air Force Base and Plant 42 at Palmdale Regional Airport. China Lake Weapons Station will become a joint-use facility following the damages sustained during the two major earthquakes that displaced the ground by as much as 5 feet in some areas.“

“That’s my third airport!” I exclaim as the phone rings. “Hello?”

“Hey, Max? Starlight Glimmer here. How are you doing?”

“Hi Starlight. I’m not too bad, you?”

“I’m good, thanks for asking. I’d like to hire you for air transport.”

“Sure! What dates are you looking at?”

“Uh, the beginning of next month I think. I’m actually making this request on behalf of a few of my friends.”

“More friends?” I respond with a tone betraying excitement.

“Yeah, I’ll need you to meet them with me in Washington DC, then you can take them where they need/want to go.”

“I can do that, but unfortunately, if you need a shuttle into DC, I can’t take you. There are very strict rules operating over there, and while I do have the certification to operate within it as an airman, my operation as it were does not have waivers or the clearance yet.”

“Oh, that’s a shame.”

“I’ll happily reimburse you for a ticket in though. Just get a receipt. Also, we can time our itineraries to try and land at the same time. We could meet at the airport!”

“That would be fun!”

“What time would you like to arrive in Washington?”

“Probably after dinnertime. It’ll be easier for us to find each other, and we can grab a bite to eat after!”

“Let’s do that! Find a good flight that fits your schedule, and feel free to upgrade. I’m taking care of it. Then when you send me your receipt, I can make mine.”

“Okay! I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.”

“See you soon Starlight!”

“Bye Max!”

I’m moving one of my older jets back to Gusty Garden, since I won’t be using it anytime soon, so I guess I can plan a Chicago–DC trip.

*Email*

Subject: Fwd: Your trip to DCA

Begin forwarded message…

“Cool. Looks like she’s flying into Reagan. She arrives at… 19:00? Alrighty.”

Total due: $281.74

Perfect. She’s flying first class. There’s an available ORD–DCA that arrives at pretty much the same time as Starlight.

Purchased. Send back to Ms. Glimmer for comparison purposes.

“Just sent you my own itinerary.” I text. “We’ll land at about the same time notwithstanding any delays, so I’ll see you then!”

With that, I load N632RW and pack a small duffel, expecting only a few days in the nation’s capital.

The flight plan to SMG taken care of, I take off runway 3 glad for a rare calm winds outside of Santa Ana conditions, even though we’re in Santa Ana season.

As the winds of change mark the transition of seasons, so does it mark the increase in winds for the city by which it is famous (which is a bit of a misnomer). That nickname generated the name of my airport, Gusty Garden. It’s made quite obvious on the approach, though being located considerably further inland and south of the lake, I don’t feel it as much.

The landing goes without a hitch, or even brakes. A beautiful headwind blowing in (from the lake) lets me slow down exclusively via reverse thrust, thanks to said headwind and using the airport’s longest runway.

Once parked, I check my boarding pass and fire up one of my Aston Martin V8 Vantage, the license plate ‘V8VTGPT.’

Giving it a few minutes to warm up, I then fill it up with some fresh petrol before heading into Chicago. From there, I’ll catch the ‘L’ to O’Hare.

When I arrive at Spire, I use the bathroom and rest for a few minutes. I should leave now, but I’ll take my time.

When I make my way back down, I catch a bus to my ‘L’ stop. Blue Line from The Loop all the way to the terminus at O’Hare. My small duffel fits in my lap easily, so as soon as I leave the train, I jump right into line.

Through security in record time, I have 5 minutes until boarding. I shouldn’t be excited for flying commercially, but this is my first time flying commercially as a passenger since before I met Rosalina.

Our jet to Reagan is currently on the ramp, expected to depart on time, so long as all 70 or so passengers are here.

Fortunately for me, I’m in seat 1A, so not only am I in the front row, I’m the only seat on my side, as the first class cabin is 1-2 across. I shouldn’t be excited because I have an exact copy of this plane, but I am. I literally flew this plane’s sister ship just a couple of hours ago.

Nevertheless, we’re soon boarding. I’m the first one in line in fact, and my more casual wardrobe – being dressed in a slim-fit t-shirt, slim-fit (not skinny) jeans, and slightly oversized trainers – actually garners me some weird looks by the businesspeople in swanky suits and briefcases.

Nevertheless, I’m boarded first, my bag fitting snugly in the overhead bin directly above me. Advantageously, I can watch the other passengers boarding, as we’re boarding exclusively through the front door.

The rest of first class is all high society/businesspeople, all 5 other seats. All but one of them fill the rest of first class.

Suddenly, a text message appears.

“I just sent Celestia and Luna your contact information for the hire. Here’s theirs.

Celestia - (xxx) SUNBUTT
Luna - (xxx) ROYAL WE”

“Thank you. I look forward to meeting them.”

After I move on to emails and social media feeds, we’re down to our last few passengers.

In about 35 minutes, flight attendants line up in the aisles for the safety demonstration, which signals our pushback. With that, I settle in nicely, watch the demo, then put my music on, expecting nothing eventful for the 2 hour journey to DCA.

At cruise, I get only a Glass of Water to drink.

Before even I can tell, we’re beginning our descent. As I stare out the window, I can already tell we’re on the River Visual. For those unfamiliar, DC’s airspace is the most restrictive in the world. The tight compliance with an honestly bonkers approach profile makes for a very fun and interesting challenge for pilots, and quite the adventure for passengers.

It’s not an uncommon sight for someone to scream, “oh my gosh, we’re gonna hit the water!” This time is no exception, which makes me laugh.

A couple more subdued screams from other passengers before the runway appears directly below us, to which there are many audible sighs of relief.

TOUCHDOWN. Spoilers up, brakes on, 2 in reverse!

Two or three people let out yelps when we hit the ground, but with the short runway, one hell of an approach profile, and the winds – not particularly windy but very gusty, landing firm like that was necessary.

Yes, a lot of people clap and cheer as we turn off the runway. I only laugh at that because anyone who’s ever flown into Reagan knows that approach, so it was pretty obvious that it’s their first time in.

Nevertheless, when we park, I’m all ready with my bag before the door is opened, so as soon as it opens, I’m the first one off the plane, bidding farewell to the forward flight attendant as I head inside.

After I use the bathroom, I send a text to Starlight.

“Hey, I got off the plane. You here yet?”

No response comes for a few minutes, so I decide to explore other gates to see where other flights are going. The only immediate outbound on the UA side is going to Houston. Every other flight due out is in another terminal, except for an AA going to Miami.

When I reach the last set of bathrooms before leaving the secure area, I get my response.

“Hey Max! I just got off the plane too! Where are you?”

“Security checkpoints. I have to pick up my rental car, but I’ll wait for you. Did you check in any baggage?”

“Nope!”

“Neither did I! We can go pick up the car together then!”

“Okay!”

“Head down to baggage claim.”

When I head down, I claim my rental car and wait for Starlight.

“Max!” A voice calls from towards the automatic doors soon after I get the keys.

“Starlight! The car’s over here!”

She then walks over to me where we share a hug.

“How’ve you been?”

“Great! Princess Twilight sent me here for a long-term residency, for lack of a better term. Since she’s ascended to the throne, Princesses Celestia and Luna can now enjoy their retirement. They’ve been in contact with their counterparts in this world, so I pointed them in your direction since you can take them anywhere in this world.”

“Almost. I may probably be refused entry into some places, but that’s another story. As far as…”

“Excuse me,” a noticeably tall woman interrupts, “are you Split Scimitar?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“You just got served.” She replies bluntly, handing me a Manila envelope packed rather densely, walking away as if avoiding eye contact with anyone else in the area.

“I picked a good day to fly the bicycle yoke.” I say knowing exactly what’s inside.

“What was that about?” Starlight asks hesitantly, a slight blush creeping up through her cheeks.

“Well, if it’s what I think it is,” I respond rhetorically, “Yep. Divorce papers.”

“What?!”

“Don’t worry. We completed everything. I’m pretty sure everything here is just copies for my sake.” I say scanning everything, confirmed when I see documents I’ve already signed.

“Well, divorce in Equestria is practically unheard of, so what is serving?”

“Serving, or getting served, is the act of forcibly handing divorce papers to a spouse who refuses to cooperate with such proceedings.”

“Couldn’t you still ignore the papers anyway?”

“Sure, but getting served is usually a surprise, and not in a Pinkie Pie way.”

“Of course not.” She half-chuckles. “I imagine this world’s Pinkie Pie was heartbroken when you told her the news?”

“I didn’t tell her. Applejack did. She was in the car with me when it broke.”

“Oh. Wow.” She responds awkwardly.

“What can you do?

“So, you said you lived in Vermont right?”

“Yes. Burlington.”

“Oh nice.”

“It feels a lot like Equestria compared to some other places I looked at.”

“Yes, yes. I remember you telling me at Rarity’s boutique. Curiosity question, and feel free not to answer this; ‘How can you afford to live here if your residence is just a holiday home?’”

“Oh. I had heard from Princess Twilight of an old trick about, um, ‘currency exchange.’”

“Currency exchange? What’s the Equestrian unit of Currency?”

“Bits.” She says pulling one out of her pocket. “Here.”

“Oh my.” I utter in shock. “Is this pure gold?”

“Yes. Believe me, the first time I sold them, I was pretty shocked too.”

“How much does one of these weigh?”

“Uh, anywhere from $300-$500? I’m not an expert on weights.”

“You must be a millionaire over here.”

“I only brought what I needed, which were plenty of bits, gems, and some other stuff. I bought a house and got myself fully human. Citizenship, house, car, the works.”

“Nice. If Equestria is anything like what I hear, seems like you’re right at home up there in New England. So, what’s the issue?”

“What do you mean?”

“Princess Twilight said your “friendship map” expanded to include this world. Why were you summoned to DC?”

“Hello Starlight Glimmer. Did I miss anything?” A voice calls before I can get answer from her.

“Hello Luna, your sister said she needed to give some papers to somebody, but…”

“Hello Starlight.” The woman who served me says as she removes her sunglasses. When she locks eyes with me, I hear a faint “oh” followed by a slight blush.

“Luna, remember how Rosalina wanted me to serve paperwork to her husband?” The woman asks.

“Yes?”

“Well this, is, him.”

“Hi. Split Scimitar, you can just call me Max.” I offer my hand with a smile to defuse the tension.

“So you’re Rosalina’s husband.” Luna responds as she shakes my hand.

“How do you know Rosalina?”

“We met at Adler Planetarium, and then again at a Bears game.”

“How do you mean?”

“We struck up a conversation about the solar system at an exhibit on red Giants. Then when we took our seats at the game, I said ‘hey, I know you!’”

“Small world, right?” I beam and chuckle.

“Yes indeed.”

“I‘m Celestia. Sorry we had to meet under these circumstances.” She says apologetically.

“No reason to be sorry.” I say sympathetically extending my hand. “She’s doing this as a formality.”

“Formality?” She asks shaking my hand. “Serving paperwork is a sign of refusal to cooperate.”

“Usually. What you served me were copies of the paperwork we completed a while ago. She has a brilliant sense of humor.”

“Yes,” She giggles nervously. “Well nevertheless, Starlight Glimmer here says you can take us places.”

“I can and I will, if you’re asking to hire me.”

“I would love to.”

“Okay. Let’s get out of here and grab some dinner, and we can talk about it.”

“Would you like to come to our house?” Luna asks, “My sister and I are doing breakfast for dinner tonight.”

“Sure. Continental or English?”

“What?” Celestia asks.

“Never mind. I’ll get my car and check into my hotel, and I’ll meet you at your house.”

“Okay. Let’s exchange contact information.”

Since Starlight gave me their numbers, we all send verification texts with their address coming from Celestia.

“Starlight, who are you gonna ride with?”

“I’ll go with them.”

“No problem. Be there soon!”

Wasting no extra time, I head to the garage and find my car by activating the key. The Mustang convertible I’ve been assigned is white. I have no preference for color, but it is nice to drive a rental car that I ironically don’t have in my garage. I have GT convertibles, but not EcoBoost convertibles. And they’re all manual anyway.

After a brief walkaround not dissimilar to my own preflight inspections, I get in, adjust the seat and fire her up.

When I reach the final gate, I present my license and other information, and after receiving everything back, a smile, and a “welcome to DC,” I utilize CarPlay and map the directions to my hotel, only a few blocks away; the Ritz-Carlton Pentagon City.

“Good evening, checking in?”

“Yes. 3 nights under Scimitar.”

“Alrighty! Oh! It looks like we had a request for a room switch, so you’ve been upgraded to the penthouse, as it’s our only other available room.”

“Oh wow! What’s the difference in rate?”

“$370 per night, so the rate will be $580 per night.”

“No problem.”

“Thank you for doing that. We’re having a wedding, and the party wanted to reserve the whole floor.”

“Not a problem, though I feel bad for whoever wanted the penthouse.”

“Nobody actually. It’s our only room available because of the wedding.”

“Interesting.”

“You want one key or two?”

“Two, just in case one demagnetizes.”

“Okay. The Penthouse requires key card access from the elevator, so swipe it in the reader.”

“Okay, thank you!”

“Enjoy your stay!”

When I get to my room, boy am I taken aback. I’m in a Ritz-Carlton penthouse. I’ve never stayed in one before, despite having the wealth to justify it. And the one time I do, it’s because no other rooms were available. Nice. Another add to a list of firsts.

Spending only a few minutes taking the room in and lightly unpacking, I head back to the car and map directions to Celestia and Luna’s.

When I arrive at their sizable yet modest house, I ring the intercom.

“Who is it?” Celestia answers.

“It’s Max. Mr. Scimitar.”

“Come on in!”

I wait for the gates to close behind me before I park right in front of their front door, utilizing their circular driveway to be facing the gate for when I leave.

“Good evening, Max.” Luna greets. “Glad you could join us.”

“Happy to be here. Thank you so much for dinner. I probably would’ve gone to Oyamel otherwise.”

“I would’ve suggested that,” Celestia calls from the kitchen, “but how could we postpone our weekly breakfast for dinner?”

“Again, I thank you for inviting me.”

“And me.” Glimmer adds.

“Of course, Starlight!”

“The pleasure is ours.” Luna adds.

“I really enjoy doing it.” Celestia finishes.

“Pancakes?” I ask as I take in the aroma for the first time.

“Hmm, indeed.” Luna responds. “The toilings of her nefariously tasteful labors could portend unimaginable catastrophe if left unchecked.”

“Whatever dost thou mean?” I ask in response to Luna’s sudden change in vernacular.

“What I think my sister means,” a second Celestia says as she enters the kitchen, “is that these pancakes can be dangerously addictive.”

My face half-drops. “I didn’t know I was in the presence of royalty. Your majesties.” I then finish bowing and fighting every urge not to get down on one knee.

“Cease thy gesture if you please. We have since abdicated the throne of Equestria.” Luna responds putting a hand on my shoulder.

“You’re too kind,” the other Celestia adds. “We appreciate the gesture, but we no longer hold positions of power. My sister and I are officially retired!”

“As are we.” The “missing” Luna replies.

“Okay, I’m confused.” I say feeling a might giddy. “How should we differentiate you?”

“It’s easy for me,” Starlight replies meekly, “Princess Celestia and Princess Luna.”

“Are either of you comfortable responding to ‘Princess’?”

“More than the current one.” Princess Celestia winks.

“Wouldst thou prefer a different title?”

“What else is… viable?” I ask.

“I was a high school principal, but I’d rather not answer to ‘Principal Celestia’.”

“Nor would I to ‘Vice-Principal Luna’.”

“Mhmm. It appears we are at an impasse.” I then say as my voice goes raspy, preceding some light coughs. “Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, when did you arrive in this world?”

“Two days ago.” Princess Celestia responds.

“Okay.” I nod. “Well, there is one way that we can differentiate you, using… how can I put this… multilingual nomenclature.”

“Go on.” ‘Principal’ Celestia responds as she finishes one stack of hotcakes.

“For the two Celestias, one of you can go by ‘Sol.’ As for the Lunas, one of you can go by ‘Selena.’”

“Celestia, Sol, Luna, and Selena?” Starlight asks. “I feel like that might just create confusion.”

“It would take some getting used to, but it’s the best I’ve got.”

“Hmm,” Princess Luna ponders, “I suppose it could work.”

“Okay, Mr. Scimitar, we’ll do that.”

“Yay! Which set of sisters will be ‘Sol’ and ‘Selena?’”

“How about Celeste?” Principal Celestia asks. “I can go by that.”

“That’s fine too. Just take your pick. No rush, though I’d like to know at the latest, when we depart for your hire flight.”

“We shall deliberate and have a decision as soon as possible.” Princess Luna responds.

“Dinner is almost ready. Mr. Scimitar, can you eat gluten?” Principal Celestia asks.

“Yes. I don’t have celiac, or a gluten sensitivity, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Okay. Just in case I had to make a gluten-free batch.”

“Even if I had celiac, it would be worth the pain. Pardon the pun.”

Both Celestias laugh.

“So we have a comedian in our midst.” The Princess responds.

“I try.”

“Let me go grab our fruit basket.” Vice-Principal Luna says as her sister starts slicing up bananas and strawberries.

“Wow, that smells great!” I call as the smell of fresh fruit and freshly cooked hotcakes hits me like a feather duster.

“Do we have any more peaches?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Looks like we’ll have to add a trip to Atlanta to the list.”

“How about pineapples?”

“Short supply I’m afraid.”

“Speaking of the list,” I interject, “what exactly are your intentions?”

“After the career I’ve had,” Vice-Principal Luna begins, “I could use a retirement just lounging on the beach or by the pool.”

“I understand, but I crave excitement!” Her sister responds with fervor. “I’ve made a living just sitting around. For once in my life, I can be active!”

“So, one of you ‘wants to stay,’ but the other ‘can’t find peace while sitting still.’”

“I guess we never will.” Luna says disappointedly.

“Go to Hawaii, the both’a youse.” I answer almost immediately. “You can have fun hiking or doing some other fun stuff, or relax on the beach all in one place, all in one day. Plus, pineapples, if you’re in short supply.”

“Let’s do it!” They both respond.

“I’ve been wanting to take a good long vacation.” Luna says.

“Well, fortunately for you two… wait, have you been to Hawaii?”

“Only in passing. As a stopover. Never been outside Honolulu Airport.” Celestia responds.

“Well, you’re in luck.”

“Yes, well what about places where we can lounge on the beach or by the pool?”

“Well, fortunately for you two, any one island affords both of those relatively well. I suppose it all boils down to whether you want it urban or rural.“

“Um…” each sister says to the other.

“Well, I mean we could go to Oahu or the Big Island.” Luna then says more thinking out loud than an answer. “Sister?”

“Well, we’ve always stopped in Honolulu, but since we never ventured outside the airport, it doesn’t really matter to me.” Celestia responds in kind. “We’ll be spending more than just a layover in Hawaii. Anywhere in the state.”

“Allow me to butt in for a second.” I then say. “If you want to go to either Oahu or the Big Island, I can fly you nonstop from Dulles. I’ve been itching to do a flight longer than 6 1/2 hours. Dulles to Honolulu is close to 10.”

“Oh!” Celestia exclaims. “Um, well…”

“That seems like an awful long time in the air.” Luna adds. “Maybe we could make at least one stop if possible?”

“Like I said, where you go doesn’t matter. I just need to know so I can plan accordingly.”

“Why such a difference?” Luna asks.

“Honolulu and Kailua-Kona have long runways. Those airports can accommodate the type of aircraft I would use if you wanted to go either of those two places, because then we could fly nonstop from Dulles. However, if you were absolutely insistent on stopping somewhere before we get to Hawaii, then it’s not gonna matter where we go, because we can stop in either Chicago or Southern California. Both of my airports are there, so either place we stop of those two, I can take on fuel, which would mean a smaller aircraft and thus more available airports, and you can stop and do whatever you would like at either of those places.

“And another thing, for all we know, Hawaii may not even be it for you. If you’re here to explore, don’t limit yourself to Hawaii.”

“No, no.” Celestia butts in, “I think it’d be good to show them Hawaii. It’ll be a good opportunity for my sister and I as well.”

“We’ve considered retiring to Hawaii, so maybe this is our excuse to check it out.” Luna replies to me.

“Let me just say then,” I butt in again, “that you should probably avoid Honolulu. High cost of living, sky high rent and market prices. That said, it didn’t really stop me.”

“Mr. Scimitar,” Princess Celestia whispers into my ear, “if it’s any consolation, they have been going back and forth about where to take us. And if you’d believe it, my sister and I had a similar diametrical opposition back in Equestria.”

”Mhmm,” I ponder, “Well, I suggested Hawaii because of my own personal bias, but nevertheless, it’s not my place to turn their arguments one way or another. I’m just the transport.”

“Well, if I may,” Princess Luna adds, “I think our experience from our own misadventures would be useful in defusing this potentially explosive situation.”

“Go for it. I won’t stop you. We still have pancakes to eat. And names to decide on.”

As Princess Luna stops their argument, Principal Celestia finishes each of the stacks by arranging the different berries and topping it off with whipped cream, evidenced by the unmistakable sound of actuating the nozzle of contents under pressure.

With that, she presents six near-identical plates of pancakes, four-high, with fruity faces and whipped cream “blush,” the air quotes because the term blush betrays what it actually looks like…

Starlight and I give each other a knowing look and make attempts to stifle laughter.

“So,” she begins awkwardly, “Princess Celestia… what are you interested in doing in this world?”

“Actually, I was hoping we could rely on the local knowledge of our residents.”

“Well, if you want to learn about the west coast and Chicago, I’ll happily lead. Elsewhere, I would defer to your, um, twinsies.”

“And I would even point you in the direction of our former assistant, Skystar.” Principal Celestia responds. “She’s lived most of her life here. When she comes in tomorrow I can introduce you.”

As we all sit down for dinner, each stack along with a bottle of syrup set the table. I wash my hands before sitting down between Princess Luna and Starlight.

“So Max,” Princess Celestia asks from across the table, “what’s your story?”

“Where should I start? I always wanted to be a pilot from a young age, and being blessed with the right set of circumstances has allowed me to live my dream.”

“‘Tis a gross oversimplification.” Princess Luna interjects immediately, “we can see in thine eyes, thou art withholding information.”

“Well, I’d rather not bring it up at present.”

“If you don’t mind, Max.” Starlight vouches for everyone.

“Well, I was disowned by my family for not wanting to go into high-paying profession. Bless their hearts, they equated wealth to happiness.”

“A pilot isn’t exactly a poor man’s profession.” Vice-Principal Luna responds.

“True, but they still disowned me for it anyway. Not to sound horribly racist or reinforce a stereotype, but I could be a multimillionaire or richer, but if it isn’t in medicine, dentistry, or… physical therapy - something in healthcare, I’d still be dishonorable.”

“Wow. I never would’ve expected resorting to such extremes.”

“I miss them. I was pretty close to them, so when it happened, my entire world was rocked. I had nightmares for a long time.”

“I’m sure my sister would have loved to see them.” Princess Celestia teases.

“I doubt it. I’d likely be another textbook example, regardless of world. I’m sure the dreams I had paled in comparison to what you dealt with on a nightly basis.”

“Maybe not,” Princess Luna responds with an air of calm, “depression certainly was rare, if that’s what thou implyeth.”

“Beg pardon, Princess. With all due respect, I don’t think it would’ve mattered. Applejack, my Applejack, firmly believes that we were brought together by the universe for my sake.”

“Hmm, indeed. I imagine that whatever force guides those in this world must, if sentient, possess a sense of humor.”

“What do you mean?”

“While I can’t say that my sister and I had that kind of power to move ponies to such “chance encounters” as it were, we… I did have quite a strong influence as to the decision-making process for such constituents. We didn’t have the power to move them, but we did have the power to encourage them to even try and reach out to a fellow creature.”

“I see. Well, I know I said a lot, but I’m past that now.”

Fearful I took things too far, I silently continue to eat but excuse myself to ask for a drink. Principal Celestia pours a glass of wine as a joke, but she assures it’s for their guests when she pulls out another glass.

I receive orange juice per request and return to the table, craving an e-cigarette out of nervousness. As a result, I finish my pancakes rather quickly, quashing the craving as I peer at the stove. The vent is on, as the smell of smoke is still fresh.

“I love the smell of vegetable oil in the evening.” I say to myself as I put my plate in the sink.

Still brandishing her apron, Principal Celestia walks in.

“Thank you for dinner,” I smile. “My compliments to the chef.”

After I make sure I have everything, I wish the others a good night, citing an early bedtime.

“By the way, Max,” Vice-Principal Luna says, “we’ve made a decision. My sister and I will go by Sol and Selena.”

“Very well. Thank you for having me over tonight. Please let me know what your plans are for tomorrow, if there are any.”

“We will. Skystar will be showing the equestrians around town. Please join us.”

“I’m off Pentagon City on the Metro. What stop would be best?”

“Our closest stop is Friendship Heights, so our lines don’t intersect until…”

“L’Enfant?”

“No, the other busy one.”

“Union Station? No, that’s red line only. Oh! Metro Center!”

“That’s the one!”

“Do you have visits to the House or Senate planned?”

“I’m sure Skystar would be eager to show our visitors. She’s a member of the White House staff now, so she can obtain visitors passes for both chambers.”

“Oh wow! Just let me know about tomorrow then. I’ll meet you at the Metro Center stop.”

“Sounds good.”

“Good night, Selena.”

“Good night, Max.”

Just as I unlock the car and get in, both Celestias wave goodnight just as I turn the engine on.

Author's Note

The bicycle yoke, aptly named for the appearance of the handlebars, has its pivot point down by the pilot’s knees, whereas a traditional yoke pivots like a steering wheel.

DC Metro Map.

Friendship Heights is on the Red Line.

Pentagon City is on the Blue/Yellow Line.